Speaker 1: It's another jewbile phone frame Mornings on the twenties.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hey, this is Pee Deekins calling from departments. Is
Speaker 2: this Kelly?
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Kelly. Hey, Kelly, move in day. Excited
Speaker 1: to have you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Hey, listen, I'm calling with a little bit
Speaker 2: of news on your place.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, and uh, not a big deal. I just
Speaker 1: want you to be prepared, okay. Uh, so you're moving
Speaker 1: in today.
Speaker 2: I know your appointment to move stuff in is a
Speaker 2: little later, and it looks like for an undetermined amount
Speaker 2: of time you are going to have a roommate in
Speaker 2: your extra room there.
Speaker 1: What do you mean a roommate?
Speaker 2: I mean, well, I don't know if you've ever had
Speaker 2: a roommate before, but roommates usually if you live in
Speaker 2: a place and then there's someone else that lives there
Speaker 2: as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, roommate is why are you saying I
Speaker 1: have a roommate because I bought apartment to not have
Speaker 1: a roommate. Yeah, so that was the plan.
Speaker 2: But realized this morning that one of our favorite Kookie
Speaker 2: characters from the neighborhood has sort of decided to set
Speaker 2: up shop in your apartment that you're moving into. His
Speaker 2: name is Johnny and call him Crazy Johnny around here.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, you're telling me that I have a squatter
Speaker 1: living in my apartment right now, es saying the apartment
Speaker 1: I'm moving into today.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I tried to ask him when he was
Speaker 2: going to be leaving and he said some things in
Speaker 2: gibberish and spat at me, so I didn't get a
Speaker 2: chance to really talk to him.
Speaker 1: Are you kidding me?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What are you running at halfway house right now? I'm sorry? Like,
Speaker 1: why is he in my house? Right You have to.
Speaker 2: Get him out of it, if you could lower your voice,
Speaker 2: because I don't want I don't know if Crazy Johnny's listening,
Speaker 2: and I don't really want to make him upset.
Speaker 1: But hey, everything is good to go. And you've got
Speaker 1: to be kidding me right now? Why aren't you calling
Speaker 1: the police? Oh? Well, we well because we like him.
Speaker 2: You know, he's a nice guy at times, and you're
Speaker 2: kidding me.
Speaker 1: He might be a nice guy to you. This guy
Speaker 1: is not living in my apartment. I swear to God,
Speaker 1: you better be out of there before I am there.
Speaker 1: You haven't heard the best part. I'm sorry, the best part,
Speaker 1: Like I this is unbelievable. What is going on?
Speaker 2: We are prepared to offer you ten percent off your
Speaker 2: first month's rent if you'll just, you know, take in
Speaker 2: Crazy Johnny for just a little while until we figure
Speaker 2: out how to get him out of your place.
Speaker 1: Ten percent off. I would get half that if I
Speaker 1: had a roommate.
Speaker 2: You want me to room with a.
Speaker 1: Guy named Crazy Johnny? Crazy Johnny and the Ferrets? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's Crazy Johnny. What his ferrets?
Speaker 2: Yeah, he has a ferret band. Actually, it's pretty interesting
Speaker 2: that he's taught up to.
Speaker 1: What this has got to be. What are you hitting me?
Speaker 1: It's really kind of cool. He taught one of his
Speaker 1: ferreits how to play the drums. Actually, I mean, are
Speaker 1: you what? I don't even understand what's happening right now.
Speaker 1: I am not moving into an apartment with a guy
Speaker 1: named Crazy Johnny with a ferret band living in my apartment.
Speaker 1: I did not sign up for this, and I absolutely
Speaker 1: am going to be calling the cops on you guys
Speaker 1: if he is not out right now.
Speaker 2: To be fair, the Ferret band does have a curfew
Speaker 2: of ten and Crazy Johnny has never missed it. He
Speaker 2: always gets him off the drums, at least by nine
Speaker 2: forty five.
Speaker 1: This is unbelievable. I swear to God, I am calling.
Speaker 1: I am calling the cops on you. I can't Kelly
Speaker 1: and not be legal.
Speaker 2: Kelly, this is actually Jubil from the Jubil Show doing
Speaker 2: a phone frank on you and your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Jake set you up.
Speaker 2: He said, you guys are moving in together and wanted
Speaker 2: to mess with you on your moving day.
Speaker 1: I swore to God, I'm gonna kill him. What Okay,
Speaker 1: well now I have to get back at him. I see.
Speaker 1: I can't deal with it now, wake up every morning
Speaker 1: with Jubile phone franks