1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,199 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: coming up. 4 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 2: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from 5 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,719 Speaker 2: the sponsors that keep the show a lot. My wife 6 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 2: cheated with my best friend disgusting. I twenty seven male, 7 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 2: met my wife, Sue, twenty seven female, in college when 8 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,479 Speaker 2: we were both eighteen. 9 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: You should see her suer. 10 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:23,799 Speaker 2: We hit it off immediately and we're saying I love 11 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,479 Speaker 2: you within weeks classic she presumed me, and I was 12 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 2: grateful she did. By the way, this comes from any 13 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 2: Imagination ninety seven sixty eight. And if you want to 14 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 15 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 2: Storytime suppered it. 16 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, and I'm Keon. 17 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 2: And we'll try to give our best advice. But we 18 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 2: haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so if you have, 19 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,199 Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments. 20 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:51,480 Speaker 2: But Op says when her father passed away from pancreatic 21 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:53,959 Speaker 2: cancer during her senior year, I was there for her 22 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 2: through everything. I had spend nights at the hospital so 23 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,800 Speaker 2: she wouldn't be alone. She called me her soulmate and 24 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 2: said she didn't know what she would have done without me. 25 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: I knew I was going to marry her, and I 26 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,560 Speaker 2: proposed two years after graduation. Life couldn't get better. I 27 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 2: married the girl of my dreams, had a well paying job, 28 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 2: and both families loved us. My best friend, Dave twenty 29 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,679 Speaker 2: six mail and I had what I thought was an 30 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 2: unbreakable bond. My sense it's about to. 31 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: Be broken by your wife yoakes and him. 32 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 2: We'd known each other since third grade and he was 33 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 2: the brother I never had. About a year ago, his 34 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 2: wife passed away in a car crash, which broke him completely. 35 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 2: He moved back to our hometown but wouldn't engage with anyone. 36 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 2: Since Sue had also lost a loved one, I asked 37 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 2: if she could talk to him, thinking she might relate 38 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 2: to his pain better. He definitely related a little too much. 39 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 2: That was my first mistake. We'd visit him daily, and 40 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 2: Sue would spend hours at his place, even without me there. 41 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 2: They went on hikes together, watched movies, and grabbed lunch. 42 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 2: This was far more interaction than I'd intended, but Dave 43 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,960 Speaker 2: seemed to be improving. What made me initially oblivious was 44 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,640 Speaker 2: that Sue and Dave had never liked each other before. 45 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 2: Sue always thought he was a douche because he bounced 46 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: between relationships and cheated on his deceased wife. Well, why 47 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 2: are you friends with Dave? 48 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 1: That sounds like not the best of friends to have. 49 00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:23,760 Speaker 2: That's like, yeah, maybe like don't send your wife into 50 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 2: the lions den h Sue and Dave became inseparable. She 51 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 2: started inviting him to things I'd planned for us as 52 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:34,800 Speaker 2: a couple. She began showing classic signs of infidelity, always 53 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 2: on her phone, becoming distant, little to no intimacy, and 54 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 2: coming home very late. When I asked who she was texting, 55 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: she'd say it was a girlfriend, but when I asked 56 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: to see she became irritated and called me possessive. When 57 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 2: I talked to Dave about how uncomfortable their friendship made me, 58 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: he assured me nothing was happening and accused me of 59 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 2: not trusting him or my wife. I was being gas lit. 60 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 2: One day, Sue said she was going to her sisters 61 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 2: for the weekend because she needed space from my accusation, 62 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 2: or maybe she's gonna go make those accusations. 63 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:09,519 Speaker 1: Reality is so unfortunate. 64 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 2: I called her sister to confirm, and while she was 65 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 2: expecting Sue. Sue hadn't arrived yet. She'd left at three 66 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,920 Speaker 2: pm for a four hour drive, and it was now 67 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 2: ten pm. Something told me to go to Dave's house, 68 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 2: and sure enough, my wife's car was parked nearby. I 69 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 2: went in through the back door, which I knew would open. 70 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 2: I could hear my wife moaning as I quietly made 71 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 2: my way through the house. 72 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,560 Speaker 1: Maybe she's just watching her favorite sports team lose a game. 73 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, the Cowboys lost to the Bears. 74 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: When I reached his bedroom door, I could see through 75 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 2: the crack my wife bent over his nightstand. I'll never 76 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 2: get that image out of my head. I pushed the 77 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 2: door open, and they both rose, staring. 78 00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 3: At me while she was still bent over the nights. 79 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: You know, what would have been a real power move 80 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: is to do something like a tap dance routine. What yeah, 81 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 1: you blow the door open? You just go, hey, yeah, 82 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: I'm just helping her stretch. They would truly not know 83 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: what to do about that. They wouldn't know what to do. 84 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 2: I just walked away and got in my car. I 85 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,359 Speaker 2: could hear them scrambling and Sue screaming for me to 86 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 2: stop that she could explain. 87 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: I could explain. 88 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,119 Speaker 2: We really hate when people do that, like in stories 89 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 2: when they're like I can explain, like what go? I 90 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 2: really want someone. 91 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: To just be like okay, she just goes. I can explain. 92 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: So I came over, we started making it. I go upstairs. 93 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 1: It continues, we get into bed. Yeah that's what are 94 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:45,840 Speaker 1: you gonna explain? 95 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 3: Girl? 96 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: That to go and explain. 97 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 3: My favorite is stop, what do you want to put 98 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 3: on your clothes first? 99 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 2: Yeah? We wit wait, stop, hold on. I drove to 100 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 2: a college friend's house and stay there the past week. 101 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,479 Speaker 2: I can't eat or sleep both days, and Sue have 102 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 2: been calling, along with family members. I told my family 103 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 2: I was alright, but haven't responded to anyone else. This 104 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 2: pain is unbearable. I don't know how someone I love 105 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 2: so much could do this. Any advice would be deeply appreciated, 106 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 2: and there is an update. 107 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: But what do you think I would have not gone 108 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,440 Speaker 1: into the house in the room, I would have just 109 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 1: been like, yeah, clearly you're cheating on me. I walked in, 110 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: I heard the noise. 111 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 112 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: I would have just moved in silence. 113 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, you just go Hey, I gotta hear your guys 114 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 2: cheating up there wit to head out he not God, 115 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 2: I want to see it. Racket, but I can hear 116 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 2: you cheating. 117 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: I would have just moved in absolute silence and not 118 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: exposed myself to traumatic imagery. 119 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 3: I would love to get the explanation to see them 120 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 3: on the spot. 121 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, like, go okay and see all right. 122 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 3: I guarantee you like, I didn't get this far. I 123 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 3: didn't think you would stop and actually want to listen 124 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 3: to my explanation of me cheating on you. 125 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 2: Sue sent me a long message. I know you need 126 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 2: space and I'm the last person you want to talk to, 127 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 2: but I feel like I'm going insane. Good. I never 128 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 2: meant for this to happen. You're the last person I 129 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 2: ever wanted to hurt. My relationship with Dave started innocent, 130 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 2: but we connected deeper than intended. 131 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, we definitely intended suet deeper. 132 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: Than too deep, and things escalated. I won't lie and 133 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 2: say this was the first time. Oh, we've had spicy 134 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 2: sleep several times past mid stop, but it only turned 135 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 2: physical recently. 136 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 1: What does that mean? Huh? The rest was emotional emotional 137 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:39,919 Speaker 1: spicy sleep. 138 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: I have feelings for Dave that I won't deny, but 139 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 2: they're nowhere near as strong as what I feel for you. 140 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: I love you so much. Now you don't, so why 141 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 2: didn't you sleep with OPI? Yeah, no you don't. Don't 142 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: question my love for you. It's real. No, it's not. 143 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 2: What I did has nothing to do with you. That's true. 144 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,039 Speaker 2: It does have nothing to do with obi. Dave, and 145 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,719 Speaker 2: I took advantage of your kindness. Give me the chance 146 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 2: to make this right. Please come home. I don't know 147 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 2: what to make of this. I definitely don't know the 148 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 2: person I married, As many suggested. I contacted a lawyer 149 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 2: who seems motivated to help me come out financially whole. 150 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 2: I still love my wife, but I don't know if 151 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 2: I can ever get over this. I've received messages from 152 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 2: Dave two but don't want to read them. I switch 153 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 2: between sorrow and rage constantly. Should I try reconciliation or 154 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 2: end the marriage? Now my family knows everything since Sue 155 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 2: confessed to everyone. I've been away for over two weeks, 156 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 2: and the pain feels fresh. Every time I close my eyes, 157 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 2: I see Sue and Dave together. Most are saying divorce, 158 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 2: and I'd say the same to someone else. But things 159 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: aren't black and white when you're living. 160 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: In pretty Sure it was pretty black and white. What 161 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,600 Speaker 1: was happening on that nice Dan? Sorry, I thought it 162 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: was gonna sneeze bluss you. 163 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 2: Sue's been staying with her sister and went no contact 164 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 2: with Dave, who cares. She was cheating on you for 165 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,679 Speaker 2: a while and physically for at least a month, Unless 166 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,680 Speaker 2: she's lying about that, which she could be. Her mother 167 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 2: tech an apology for her daughter's behavior. Sue is an 168 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 2: individual counseling, and there is a second update. But do 169 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 2: you have any second thoughts? 170 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: Go ahead and break that off, brother. 171 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:13,119 Speaker 2: Break that off. Don't be with her. She's been cheating 172 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: on you. She doesn't love you. She may think she 173 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 2: loves you, but cheating on your partner you've been married 174 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 2: to for a while not love you. 175 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: Don't understand. 176 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 2: The only reason I could do this to you is 177 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 2: because I love you. Because I love you so much. 178 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 3: I love you so much that I have to love 179 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 3: the guy that you love. 180 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 2: But there is a second update. I took time off 181 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,719 Speaker 2: social media to reflect on my marriage and next steps. 182 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: When I look back, most of our marriage was filled 183 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: with happy memories, which made me want to find reasons 184 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 2: to stay, but thinking about the cheating and how they 185 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 2: gaslet me only brought me rage. The deeper I looked, 186 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 2: the angrier I got. I'll never forget how angry Sue 187 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 2: would get when I question where she'd been, or Dave's 188 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,600 Speaker 2: disgusted look when I asked if something was going on 189 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 2: between them. The cheating was terrible, but the gas lighting 190 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 2: was worse. It takes a special kind of person to 191 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 2: lie so effortlessly. I remember one night she came home late, 192 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 2: telling me how much she loved me and how she'd 193 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 2: been thinking about me during the drive. I'm certain she 194 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 2: came from Dave's because she wasn't wearing underwear. Girl girl, huh, 195 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 2: couldn't even put on the underwear. She had spicy sleep 196 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 2: with both of us, back to back, and I kissed 197 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:30,719 Speaker 2: her afterwards. Oh, this situation made me feel completely emasculated. 198 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: I'll uh, I'll see you in the gym. 199 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,599 Speaker 2: Brothers rough Sue kept sending emails with the same nonsense 200 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,640 Speaker 2: about how miserable she'd be without me. 201 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: Good duh, and I hope you are. 202 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 2: She even sent Bible verses on forgiveness. She's like, no, 203 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 2: the Bible slits. You have to forgive me. 204 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: Just send back the Bible verse about infidelity. 205 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, isn't one of the commandments. 206 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 2: Literally one of the commandments is thou shalt not covet 207 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 2: your brother's wife. 208 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: Thou shalt not bang it my best friend. 209 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 2: That yeah, a little known commandment. I started working again 210 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 2: because staying busy helped me cope better. One day I 211 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 2: received a letter from Sue discussing her individual counseling and 212 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 2: underlying issues she discovered, mainly low self esteem. She explained 213 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 2: that the discrepancy in our attractiveness made her self aware 214 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 2: and she wanted validation from someone other than me. Her 215 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,440 Speaker 2: sister had always been prettier, contributing to her insecurity. Even 216 00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:28,079 Speaker 2: though I made her feel beautiful, she sought that validation elsewhere. 217 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 2: She asked if we could try marriage counseling. I started 218 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 2: divorce proceedings, nice, nice, oh Z. The day she was served, 219 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 2: Sue showed up at my apartment with the petition. We 220 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 2: stared at each other and all the pain returned. She 221 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: looked like she'd been crying and tried to hug me. 222 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 2: I gently pushed her away, making her hysterical. She started shouting, 223 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 2: asking why with giving up so easily? 224 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: Damn girls, because you gave it up so easily, you 225 00:10:58,559 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. 226 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, what were you doing with Dave protecting the 227 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 2: sanctity of our marriage? 228 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: You gave it up to Dave. She's like, you don't understand. 229 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,959 Speaker 1: I was just practicing for you. 230 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 2: She threw herself on my carhood when I tried to leave, 231 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 2: so I relented and we went inside to talk. He's like, 232 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 2: the only reason I'm talking to is because you won't 233 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,440 Speaker 2: let me leave. He said she'd do anything to save 234 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 2: our marriage, that she doesn't love Dave, and suggested a 235 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,480 Speaker 2: trial separation where I could date others while holding off 236 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 2: on divorce. How about we do full on trial trial 237 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 2: separation where we start with the seven week free trial 238 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 2: and then we just continue because we forget to cancel 239 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:40,199 Speaker 2: the subscription. 240 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: Her level of refusal to accept accountability is disgusting and sickening. Yeah. 241 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 2: She suggested other things like a one sided open marriage 242 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,920 Speaker 2: in my favor, and even moving to another state or country. 243 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,960 Speaker 2: I asked her why him and why she only came 244 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 2: back after I caught her. She sobbed, saying she felt 245 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 2: guilty during the but didn't know how to stop. You 246 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 2: just go, Hey, probably shouldn't be doing this because I 247 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 2: don't want to cheat on my partner. 248 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: Heah, you take a breath and you go, WHOA, what 249 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: are my values? Are they cheating on my partner? 250 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 2: It seems like that's what they are. Counseling made her 251 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,559 Speaker 2: realize she probably would have cheated eventually due to underlying 252 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 2: issues what. I asked if she loved Dave, and she 253 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 2: promised she didn't. I asked if she cheated before, and 254 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 2: she swore on her passed away father. This was the 255 00:12:29,559 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 2: first time. I asked who else knew, and she hesitated 256 00:12:32,559 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 2: before admitting only her sister knew a few days before 257 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: I found out. Then I asked if there was anything 258 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 2: else she was hiding. She started crying and asked me 259 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:45,000 Speaker 2: not to get angry. After more sobbing, she admitted she 260 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,679 Speaker 2: lied about when the physical relationship started. Wow, none of 261 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 2: us are shocked. 262 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: It's almost like she's a liar. 263 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 2: But none of us are shocked about that it had 264 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 2: been physical for almost a month, not just the week 265 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:00,160 Speaker 2: before I found out. Duh, she'd minimized it to spare 266 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 2: my feelings. I asked her to leave and never come back. 267 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 2: I told her I found a job in another state 268 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 2: and would be moving once the divorce was underway, leave 269 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 2: and never come back. She cried and pleaded, but I 270 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,360 Speaker 2: threatened to call the police. A few days later, my 271 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 2: mom called saying Sue was in the hospital. I visited 272 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 2: her in the psych ward where she was sleeping. It 273 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 2: hurts because I still love her and I'm just happy 274 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 2: she's okay. I haven't been thinking about divorce given what's happening. 275 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 2: My life is a disaster. It's been eight months since 276 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:34,679 Speaker 2: my life became a nightmare, and things kept getting worse. 277 00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 2: Sue got better after therapy, but I knew I couldn't stay. Yeah, 278 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 2: don't let her own problems with mental health, you know, 279 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,560 Speaker 2: make you think that you have to stay to help 280 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 2: her when you know she ruined your guys' mare. 281 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 1: You are not responsible for that. 282 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 2: I'd never get over it and would harbor resentment for years. 283 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: We agreed to divorce and she wanted minimal contact. The 284 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,680 Speaker 2: process was smooth and we divorced a month ago. I 285 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 2: moved to the West Coast to start fresh, and things 286 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 2: were finally looking up. But there is a little bit 287 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 2: left to this story. Do any final thoughts. 288 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: Sometimes it be the ones closest to you. 289 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,439 Speaker 2: So true, but that's not obviously any of your faults 290 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,839 Speaker 2: and your friend sucks. And also maybe just be a 291 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:21,320 Speaker 2: little bit more wary about, you know, who you're friends with. 292 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 2: If you notice that your friend is like a serial cheater, 293 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:29,000 Speaker 2: cheats on his wife who's now passed away. Maybe not 294 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 2: the best person to be friends with, you know. 295 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: And your wife two betrayals, wacky best friends with wife cheater. 296 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left. Then, Sue's sister 297 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 2: called Sue, had suffered a stroke. She's almost completely immobile 298 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 2: on her left side and can barely speak. I can't 299 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 2: describe how devastating it was to hear let alone, how 300 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 2: crushed I felt visiting her. He looked nothing like the 301 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 2: person I knew, and would cry whenever she saw me. 302 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: That is an insane turn of events. 303 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 2: Wow, that's really tough. Part is feeling like this is 304 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 2: my fault, which is not. People say it isn't, but 305 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 2: I sense hostility from her family when I speak to them. 306 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 2: Her aunt cursed me out in front of everyone, and 307 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 2: they just asked me to leave it alone and move 308 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 2: on with my life. That's ridiculous, Like I understand they 309 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 2: are hurting, They're clearly very worried about their daughter. But 310 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 2: to blame you, they're you know, projecting because she cheated. 311 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:25,400 Speaker 1: Is you didn't bang your best friend, she wouldn't have 312 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: been in a position to be worked up enough to 313 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: the point where she had a stroke. 314 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 2: I want to move on, but it hurts knowing how 315 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 2: everything turned out. I haven't spoken to Sue since the stroke, 316 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 2: and her family won't let me see her because apparently 317 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 2: I caused her stress. 318 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 1: Whatever. 319 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 2: I don't know the full details because I don't have 320 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 2: the right to know anymore. I can't seem to catch 321 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 2: a break and that is the end of that story. 322 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 2: But uh Obi, it is not your fault. She caused 323 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 2: her own stress by cheating on you, and that is 324 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,200 Speaker 2: a really difficult situation to be in. At the end 325 00:15:58,200 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 2: of the day, the best thing for you is to 326 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 2: leave her. 327 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: That's all you can do is try to move on. Yep, 328 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: my wife cheated on me after I build her dream home. Ungrateful, 329 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: married seventeen years with no children of our own. She's 330 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: been divorced once and had two daughters that I helped raise, 331 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: who are now twenty eight and twenty three. You've always 332 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: had open communication and what I felt was a great 333 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: connection with a fulfilling, spicy sleep life. I work in 334 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: the medical field and have been putting in overtime over 335 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: the past five months. She works in legal consultancy from home. 336 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: And by the way, this comes from a deleted user 337 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 338 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. Last night I 339 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: changed the filter on our bedroom fan and asked my 340 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 1: wife if I could use your phone to update the 341 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: app since mine was charging. Your bedroom fan has an app? Yeah, 342 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,360 Speaker 1: where did we go wrong? There's an app for everything? Yeah? 343 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,880 Speaker 2: People got app the life you don't see. 344 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 3: Like the lights with a house app? And maybe it 345 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 3: like have you seen those things? Now? 346 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: Never mind? I was thinking, like the ceiling mounted bathroom fan, 347 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 1: bedroom fan. 348 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 3: Oh no, he's sick, sick. 349 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 2: Oh man. 350 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:06,160 Speaker 1: I noticed she had put on a pattern unlock, which 351 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 1: seemed odd. As I was finding the app, a snapchat 352 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,280 Speaker 1: notification popped up that made my stomach drop. Quote, I'll 353 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: bring this special toy. 354 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,120 Speaker 2: Oh maybe you should talk about the switch. Maybe they're 355 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 2: just gonna play some spash bros. 356 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: Oh they're gonna smash my brain. Understood the words, but 357 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 1: my mind just stopped functioning. Oh, she asked, what was 358 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,880 Speaker 1: the matter, after several minutes of me staring at the fan. 359 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: My wife has quarterly out of town meetings that put 360 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,520 Speaker 1: her two states away for five days, and I knew 361 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,880 Speaker 1: this was about her upcoming trip Monday. I've read hundreds 362 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 1: of stories like this on Reddit and never thought I'd 363 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 1: be sitting on my bedroom floor in such a cold, 364 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: dumbfounded state. I recovered and said, I was just getting 365 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: info about the router. She had logged into Facebook on 366 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,200 Speaker 1: my chromebook yesterday. I took a week's vacation on short 367 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 1: notice and have been up all night reading her chats. 368 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: I logged onto Verizon's message system under her number and 369 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 1: found at least fifteen thousand messages dating back to February 370 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,800 Speaker 1: of last year. 371 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 3: What. I don't even text that much. 372 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 2: Fifteen thousand messages? 373 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 1: Maybe it was supposed to be fifteen hundred. 374 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 2: Fifteen thousand messages, I hope. 375 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,560 Speaker 3: So fifteen hundred makes a little bit more sense. 376 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: That's like, fifteen thousand is like, how could you not notice. 377 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,840 Speaker 2: Fifteen Wait, hold on. 378 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 1: I'll get you fifteen thousand. There's fifteen thousand. 379 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 2: Fifteen thousand, forty one texts a day. 380 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,920 Speaker 3: Okay, text Actually I don't even text Carly that much 381 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 3: like forty one a day a day. 382 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: Y'all need to text your girlfriends more. Okay, it texts 383 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:46,959 Speaker 1: me fifteen thousand texts a day of what just letters? 384 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 3: Is code? 385 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:52,440 Speaker 2: All of your texts. I've been separated by letters. 386 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,480 Speaker 1: By letters, my messages one letter at a time, like 387 00:18:55,480 --> 00:19:00,040 Speaker 1: a maniac, different fonts and little emoji. You read it 388 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: top to bottom. 389 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,400 Speaker 3: Nope, you should do it from bottom to the top 390 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 3: and ease. 391 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: She stopped using Verizon messages about three months ago and 392 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:11,439 Speaker 1: switched to Snapchat because it's more discreet. It's a younger 393 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,160 Speaker 1: man from work who is married with three young children. 394 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: I've met him twice and shook his hand. I'm at 395 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: a complete loss and have paced my house that I 396 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 1: custom built for her for hours. I almost can't feel 397 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: anything except white hot rage. I logged onto Snapchat and 398 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: there it all was. They're all the pictures of them together. Intimately, 399 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: she said terrible things about me, told him my insecurities, 400 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: and told him I love you. This feels like a 401 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: purely spicy relationship, which somehow makes it both better and worse. 402 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 1: I don't know her saying I love you classifies as 403 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 1: purely spicy. She's literally throwing our life away over this. 404 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 1: Knowing cheating is an absolute deal breaker for me. I 405 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: called my best friend, who recommended a lawyer. I plan 406 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 1: on recording and saving everything. His wife accepted my friend request, 407 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 1: and I'm debating sending everything. 408 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:10,640 Speaker 3: Now. 409 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 1: I'm seething and just want to inflict pain. At this point, 410 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 1: I feel eviscerated, emasculated. I found the special toy already 411 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:24,119 Speaker 1: packed in her carry on. It's a remote controlled and 412 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 1: also has an app. We are truly we have lost 413 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 1: God's life. 414 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 3: What are you talking about? 415 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: Have you too many apps? 416 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 3: There's there's worse apps out there. 417 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: I'm getting sick. 418 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,119 Speaker 3: App. 419 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 1: Is there an app to make me not sick? 420 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 2: No? 421 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:40,160 Speaker 3: Probably? 422 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: I wish doc? 423 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 2: This is doc doc God. 424 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:46,399 Speaker 1: Now, what are your thoughts? Guys? 425 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 2: Oh man, I don't know. Let's get into the update. 426 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: My thought is, divorce your wife. 427 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,560 Speaker 2: Yes, she's cheating on you, pretty pretty cut and dry. 428 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: My response is move in absolute silence and then drop 429 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:07,239 Speaker 1: the equivalent of eighteen million metric tons of TNT on 430 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 1: this relationship. Oh and you know, we wish the children well, 431 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,439 Speaker 1: I think that's all we do. We wish the children. 432 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,040 Speaker 2: Well, I think we confront her and divorce. Well, first 433 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,639 Speaker 2: you get a lawyer, and then you figure out what 434 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 2: you can do, and then you go and say, I 435 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 2: know you're cheating. 436 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 3: Here's here's the papers, hide her toy. Yeah, what make 437 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 3: her go crazy? 438 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 2: Anyway, let's get into this update. 439 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,919 Speaker 1: Put all of her belongings in the shower, because she's disgusting. 440 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: I met with the lawyer who told me to forget 441 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: any Hollywood style confrontation. She said there are two routes, 442 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:46,160 Speaker 1: contested or non contested divorce. I would have to notify 443 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 1: my wife that I've retained counsel. My wife came home 444 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: around seven thirty. I asked if there was anything she 445 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about. She said nothing other than the election. 446 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,239 Speaker 1: When she asked what was bothering me, I said I 447 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,959 Speaker 1: was curious why she had a remote control buzz buzz 448 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,840 Speaker 1: in her luggage. The look on her face was more 449 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 1: telling than anything I've ever seen. She looked panicked, pale, 450 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 1: and began breathing faster and sweating. As I pulled out 451 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,600 Speaker 1: my three file folders of text exchanges, I asked if 452 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: the other man's wife would have the app to control it. 453 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: Bride and pleaded that she could explain. 454 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 3: Ah, we're so used to that. 455 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,960 Speaker 2: I don't want to hear your explanations. They're all the same. 456 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 3: I want to hear it. I just want to see it. 457 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:32,680 Speaker 2: They just try, Yeah, tru see by your best. 458 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 3: I mean, we already know we're divorcing, but I just 459 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 3: want to see you like I want to see you. 460 00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 1: Try abducteds and they installed a mind control device. Remember 461 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,959 Speaker 1: research on how to pro create? 462 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 3: Remember the like The most far fetched one was the 463 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,280 Speaker 3: one where she got like hypno hypnotized. Yeah I was, 464 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 3: I was hypnotized. 465 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: You hypnotized? Yeah exactly. 466 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 2: I don't. I don't want to hear your explanation. 467 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:59,879 Speaker 1: Just see how out of pocket the let's see it. 468 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: I said she had five minutes to do it. 469 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 2: Okay, so he's given, he's given the top. 470 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: And of course she couldn't do it. 471 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 2: She didn't have a tight five answer. 472 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 1: You have a tight five ready for that, bab I 473 00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,320 Speaker 1: told her what my attorney instructed me to say and 474 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 1: told her to leave. She screamed it was her house too. 475 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: I calmly told her I would be notifying everyone about 476 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,360 Speaker 1: her affair, including the girls, or she could leave now. 477 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: I pulled up Facebook and showed her the other man's wife, 478 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,639 Speaker 1: through tears and pleading with I love you, and it 479 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to go this far, and my favorite, you 480 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 1: can't do this. I sent the other man's wife a 481 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,399 Speaker 1: message with their entire file. I leafed through the papers 482 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: and started reading random excerpts out loud. She kept sobbing 483 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 1: and asking to talk about us, saying our marriage could 484 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 1: withstand her mistake. I told her I would never forgive her. 485 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 1: Her word meant nothing, and that she threw away the 486 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 1: last seventeen years and the house told her not to 487 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: come back after her trip. 488 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, go go meet your guy and you can stay 489 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:55,640 Speaker 2: there with them. 490 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,119 Speaker 3: Pike your toy with you new husband. 491 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 1: You got a new one. 492 00:23:58,119 --> 00:23:59,119 Speaker 2: You had your toy. 493 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,720 Speaker 1: I'm sending friend requests to everyone and sharing the evidence. 494 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: I'm going to wait until morning to call the girls. 495 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 1: I raised them from age eleven and six and they're 496 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 1: women now. I don't know what to tell them. Update 497 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 1: number two. 498 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm I don't know because I feel 499 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: like I feel like the other man's wife was one thing, 500 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 3: but you yeah to tell your daughters like this, well, 501 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 3: just even sending a friend request to everybody. 502 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 1: I think it's a little like twenty eight and twenty three. 503 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 1: They think maybe they can be told. 504 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 3: I don't know that the daughters can be told, I 505 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 3: think again. But what he's doing is, yeah. 506 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,120 Speaker 2: He's sending it everywhere. I'm sending it up Like how 507 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,080 Speaker 2: you tell them. 508 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,199 Speaker 1: Well, they're gonna it's gonna be like, hey, girls, just 509 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,119 Speaker 1: want to let you know I'm leaving your mother. She 510 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: cheated on me. 511 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,080 Speaker 3: That's fine. Yeah, I think telling the girl, like the 512 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 3: people that are relevant relevant to this, Yeah, not just 513 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,639 Speaker 3: like all right, I'm gonna go on social media and 514 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 3: just yeah, we don't all. 515 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 2: Send it everywhere just for your sake, Yeah, because you're 516 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 2: not gonna want to deal. 517 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,720 Speaker 3: With ever being like lawyer, dragging more people in the 518 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 3: way is just gonna Yeah, you don't want If you 519 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,439 Speaker 3: want more attention to it all to you. 520 00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 2: But but you have to deal with that attention. 521 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:04,159 Speaker 1: So exactly, I'm going to give deeper background. I went 522 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:06,199 Speaker 1: to college in Las Vegas in the mid nineties and 523 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: graduated in nineteen ninety nine with a nursing degree. Yeah, Okay, 524 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,520 Speaker 1: that's some deep background. I had decided never to marry 525 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: and definitely did not want children. When I moved to 526 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 1: Texas in two thousand and one to pursue my master's degree, 527 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: I met my soon to be ex wife. She was 528 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 1: a divorced mother of two girls. We dated for about 529 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,280 Speaker 1: two years. She sat me down and gave me a 530 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 1: pragmatic talk about needing to either get married or move on. 531 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,280 Speaker 1: Two weeks later, I got acceptance letter to a medical 532 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 1: school two hours away. I was ecstatic and crushed at 533 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: the same time, realizing I'd never see her or the girls, 534 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: and considering the seven year process ahead with loans and debt, 535 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 1: I declined medical school and switched to a master's in 536 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,440 Speaker 1: nursing administration. We got married in July two thousand and three. 537 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: My parents have always been standoffish with my wife. When 538 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,119 Speaker 1: I told them what was happening, they said they felt 539 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 1: she was damaged goods and had forced me to compromise. 540 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: That really hit home on Saturday morning, Day two, after 541 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: Discovery was making breakfast. When she walked into the kitchen, 542 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,360 Speaker 1: she asked if I would make her some. I threw 543 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: it into the trash in front of her dang, which 544 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 1: is honestly there, but I'm sorry. 545 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,560 Speaker 2: She's asking you for food, she's asking you to do 546 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 2: something for her. 547 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,680 Speaker 3: No, it's like, Oh, your food's right there, it's where 548 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:22,200 Speaker 3: you belong. 549 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 1: Just dump it on the floor. 550 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 2: You can go get it. 551 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,879 Speaker 1: I proceeded to play music from my youth at an 552 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,080 Speaker 1: uncomfortable volume to prevent her from trying to talk to me. 553 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,000 Speaker 1: She approached asking what purpose notifying the other man's wife. 554 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 2: Served she knows that she's being cheated on. 555 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,400 Speaker 1: A lady, She's blown from stupid town. 556 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 2: You crazy. 557 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,200 Speaker 1: I told her that at least she would get the 558 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,280 Speaker 1: chance to make an informed decision about her future instead 559 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: of compromising for someone who would betray her so selfishly. 560 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:53,199 Speaker 1: She sat down and began sobbing. I told her I 561 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: was so numb that I would cry. Later, when I 562 00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 1: was done doing what needs to be done, I found 563 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,680 Speaker 1: her company's HR paper and called their corporate compliance line. 564 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: They had discussed client information with protected health information using 565 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 1: unsecured messaging systems. She was also his supervisor on projects. 566 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,880 Speaker 1: During the time of the spicily inappropriate message. They both 567 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 1: used company phones to transmit inappropriate materials. Sunday, Day three, 568 00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:22,840 Speaker 1: I drove to see the girls. I told them point 569 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:26,720 Speaker 1: blank about the situation and that their mother would probably 570 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,199 Speaker 1: be moving in the next three to six months. I 571 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,280 Speaker 1: told them everything. They were disappointed in her. I explained 572 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,639 Speaker 1: that if they decided they didn't want a relationship with me, 573 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,639 Speaker 1: that was okay, but it shouldn't interfere with their relationship 574 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,920 Speaker 1: with my parents. They agreed to keep in touch with 575 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:45,160 Speaker 1: their grandparents. Monday, Day four, I arrived home to find 576 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,919 Speaker 1: her car still there. She had called in sick and 577 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,800 Speaker 1: didn't leave for her quarterly meeting. She tried talking about 578 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 1: how much she loved me, and I laughed, realizing it 579 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,479 Speaker 1: had a manic feel that took me aback, but I 580 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: told her she loved me so much she had a 581 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,399 Speaker 1: year and a half of fear behind my back. I 582 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 1: pulled out the bottle an eighteen year Glenn Fittitch, my 583 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:08,359 Speaker 1: grandfather bought for us when we got married. It was 584 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: our tradition to have a small sip on our anniversary. 585 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,960 Speaker 1: I chugged the remainder. Okay, that was Hey, that's just 586 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:17,199 Speaker 1: a waste of good scotch. 587 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 2: Buddy, Hope he's really going through it right now. Clearly, 588 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 2: I think if you can get therapy. 589 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 1: I went to the bedroom and began pulling all pictures 590 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,480 Speaker 1: with us in them off of the wall. My attorney 591 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,800 Speaker 1: called to notify me the divorce petition was ready. I 592 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:34,439 Speaker 1: signed and sent it while very buzzed on Premium Scotch. 593 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,560 Speaker 1: I also got a message from the other man's wife 594 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: reluctantly thanking me for this horrible but good revelation. She 595 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: found text and videos with other women besides my wife. Uhh, 596 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: she kicked him out and was going to an attorney. 597 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean good that you told her. Yeah, now 598 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 2: she knows, but yeah, wow, your wife sucks. 599 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: And so does he whose day. Day five therapy was 600 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 1: a two and a half hour session. My wife had 601 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: followed me there. I told her I was getting this 602 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 1: therapy for the emotional trauma of realizing I had thrown 603 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: away most of my life on someone who couldn't even 604 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:08,320 Speaker 1: give me a reason why she cheated. My therapist saw 605 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:10,960 Speaker 1: the exchange where I called her horrible names and told 606 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,480 Speaker 1: her I wished her nothing but bad things. We discussed 607 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,800 Speaker 1: my anger, betrayal, emasculation, and fear of the future. He 608 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: started explaining that instead of asking why, I should ask 609 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 1: what within herself gave her permission to do this to me. 610 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: I met with my hospital administration and formally gave my 611 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,600 Speaker 1: six weeks resignation. I couldn't concentrate on make or break 612 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 1: issues in my current state of mind. I decided to 613 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 1: move away, far away, far far away. I am now 614 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,640 Speaker 1: a character in Shrek Your Donkey. Wednesday, Day six, I 615 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: woke up with her curled next to me, disgusting. I've 616 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: been working on my resume and getting applications out. I 617 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: might be working in Seattle by the end of the year. 618 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,040 Speaker 1: I can't stay in this city. Thought of running into 619 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: her after this is over is unbearable. My wife has 620 00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 1: been going to the library reading relationship book Bok. You 621 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,280 Speaker 1: got a call from work about a meeting, despite claiming 622 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: to be sick. I eavesdropped and knew it was about 623 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 1: the HR complaint. Thursday, day seven, she told me her 624 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 1: meeting was with HR and would probably be bad if 625 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,240 Speaker 1: he asked what she could do to make us equal again, 626 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: I said nothing. 627 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,200 Speaker 3: Build me a house, go back. 628 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: In time and tell me not to date you and 629 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: marry you, and let me go to medical school to 630 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: be a doctor. 631 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,360 Speaker 3: Build me a house, don't cheat on me. Ah, good 632 00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 3: luck with that. 633 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 2: But other than that you kind of screwed. 634 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,400 Speaker 1: She offered an open marriage. On my end, I said no, 635 00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:38,480 Speaker 1: because I don't trust her, and also why what is 636 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,760 Speaker 1: what kind of solution is that I wanted to be 637 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: married to my wife who was loyal and dedicated to 638 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 1: me and wouldn't betray me. No matter how many people 639 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: I bang outside of our marriage. 640 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,080 Speaker 2: Change anything, this marriage is still esthetic to offer that. 641 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 1: It's so drives me crazy. 642 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 3: I love how she's like, we can do open marriage. 643 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 1: You've already opened the marriagecause it just fundamentally goes to 644 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,400 Speaker 1: shows like why did you even want to get married? 645 00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: So you think that just marriage is like a punishment. 646 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: It's like a roadblock, and that okay, I'll let you 647 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 1: have the treat I'll let you have the carrot on 648 00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 1: the stick, that is, you can go have other women. 649 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you want the marriage, doesn't want to 650 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:20,280 Speaker 2: You would the. 651 00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 1: One who sat him down and said, look, we either 652 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: have to get married or move on. And now you 653 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:29,120 Speaker 1: say that after you get caught cheating. You're absurd. I 654 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,719 Speaker 1: asked what I did that made her so unhappy that 655 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 1: she did this? She said, I was beyond great. She 656 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: said it was an adventure. I think she lived off 657 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 1: the rush. What didn't realize until too late that everyone 658 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:43,760 Speaker 1: would be hurt. 659 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 2: You're not in the hobbit. You cheating on your partner 660 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 2: isn't an adventure. 661 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 3: I'm going on an advent. That's what she calls her 662 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:51,800 Speaker 3: toy and her boy. 663 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 1: Yikes, yikes, we have a volcano available for her, No 664 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 1: lovely volcano with a volcano. 665 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,680 Speaker 2: Just divorce papers, just a horse. 666 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 1: Papers, picturesque slopes of Mount Doom. There was a little nook, 667 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 1: maybe even a cranny for you to slither into. When 668 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: I got home from therapy, she told me she was 669 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 1: fired for breach of protocol, and the other man was 670 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,120 Speaker 1: fired as well. She told me she had no contact 671 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: with him in five days. 672 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,520 Speaker 3: Oh, that makes up for it, just like a five 673 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 3: whole days. That makes up for the fifteen how many 674 00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:28,840 Speaker 3: thousand messages? Fifteen? I was gonna say fifteen hundred, fifteen thousands. 675 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:33,240 Speaker 1: I asked, why hadn't she contacted him since they were 676 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,040 Speaker 1: both free now. She said I was the only one 677 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:39,320 Speaker 1: she wanted. Too late, I said she had all of me, 678 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: and it still wasn't enough. I told her about all 679 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:46,240 Speaker 1: the compromises I made declining medical school to get married, 680 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,960 Speaker 1: not wanting children, but accepting hers. I made those compromises 681 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,120 Speaker 1: for our love, but obviously I had misplaced my trust. 682 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 1: I told her I would never love her again, and 683 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 1: that at best I would treat her like a spicy 684 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 1: sleep toy. I said, it was just a week ago. 685 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: She was the first person I thought of when I 686 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:03,840 Speaker 1: woke up in the last when I went to sleep. 687 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: Now it hurts too much to think about her. And 688 00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:08,160 Speaker 1: there's been a third update. 689 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, there's no way that you can save this relationship, 690 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,800 Speaker 2: no matter what she says. But yeah, I think that 691 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,720 Speaker 2: to keep going to therapy if you can, you know, 692 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 2: reach out to the people that you know support you, 693 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 2: maybe your daughter's obviously that's a little complicated, but it 694 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 2: seems like they're on your side. 695 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,800 Speaker 1: It's been five weeks since discovery. I moved out about 696 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 1: three days after my last update. My ex wife constantly 697 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 1: texts and leaves notes on my apartment door and car. 698 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,600 Speaker 1: My therapist has complimented me on my progress managing the anger, despair, 699 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,440 Speaker 1: and depression. She was served divorce papers the first week 700 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 1: of October. The love bombing and attempted covering has been 701 00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:48,600 Speaker 1: borderline psychotic. The earliest hearing is maybe January. I had 702 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 1: two unexpected surprises though. My stepdaughters came to visit me. 703 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 1: My oldest had always carried a chip on her shoulder 704 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:56,720 Speaker 1: about me, and it turns out their assumptions about me 705 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,120 Speaker 1: were incorrect. They thought I was the on again, off 706 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: again guy their mother had been with before me, not 707 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 1: realizing I came later. Their father had spent years talking 708 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,840 Speaker 1: badly about their mother for cheating, but never disclosed he 709 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: had cheated. First, my oldest stepdaughter apologized and asked for forgiveness. 710 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:17,319 Speaker 1: Just a little bit more story. Yeah, I think I 711 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:22,359 Speaker 1: accept the apology of my stepdaughters and I just move on. Yeah. 712 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:23,920 Speaker 2: I think with the step daughters, that's a little bit 713 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 2: of complicated the situation for them. But it seems like they, 714 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:31,319 Speaker 2: you know, really love you and don't support their mom in. 715 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 1: The because he did raise them. 716 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 2: Yeah. He said he raised them from like six or eleven. 717 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,680 Speaker 1: To like eleven and six, Yes, six. 718 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 2: And eleven, Like you're their dad, and they're in their 719 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:41,280 Speaker 2: late twenties. 720 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,120 Speaker 1: Now, twenty eight, twenty three. 721 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like you're their dad at that point. 722 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,240 Speaker 1: The second surprise was a coworker who found out about 723 00:34:47,239 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 1: my pending divorce. After insisting on taking me out for 724 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: a drink, she told me she had no intention of 725 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,920 Speaker 1: being with me forever, but just wanted to try me on. 726 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,240 Speaker 2: Huhuh to stop talking. 727 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 3: No, this is a coworker, I know. Oh stuff, I 728 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,360 Speaker 3: don't know. Sometimes the best way to get. 729 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 2: She never had it. She just wanted to try you on. 730 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 3: Hey, sometimes the best way to get over somebody is 731 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,760 Speaker 3: get on top of somebody. 732 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,040 Speaker 2: I'm wait what, I'm confused. She's saying that OPI's ex 733 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,239 Speaker 2: wife just wanted to know. 734 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 3: This is this is a coworker of op She's. 735 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,080 Speaker 1: Sitting down proposal. 736 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay. 737 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,439 Speaker 3: Like I feel it's like it's like a little pity. 738 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 2: I see, I see she's saying. I don't I'm not interested. 739 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:25,799 Speaker 3: She's shooting her shot. 740 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,920 Speaker 1: Just want to try What are you talking about it? 741 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:32,720 Speaker 1: You're like, no, no talking to anyone, be alone forever. 742 00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: That your anger until you become a seamore. 743 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 3: I guess sure somebody shot the shot and told him 744 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:42,520 Speaker 3: like straight up, like, hey, we're adults, and like I thought, 745 00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 3: I don't want to do this for you. 746 00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 2: She I don't know why I thought she said that 747 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 2: Opie's wife. I was like, what, how did you know 748 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:50,399 Speaker 2: that this is. 749 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:50,800 Speaker 3: Just a friend. 750 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 1: Oh, she's just a try on, all right, Sure, I 751 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,360 Speaker 1: guess she's been spending nights a couple of times a 752 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: week and it's something I've enjoyed. 753 00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:58,719 Speaker 3: There you go. 754 00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, she even helped me pack and drove me to 755 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,160 Speaker 1: the airport from my interview in Seattle, which I crushed. 756 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:06,240 Speaker 3: That's a good friend. 757 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,520 Speaker 1: My lawyer said. There is no alimony in our state, 758 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,800 Speaker 1: but infidelity with proof effects asset division probably seventy thirty 759 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,160 Speaker 1: in my favor. Nice. The house sale will be substantial, 760 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,799 Speaker 1: not enough to justify seventeen years down the drain. But 761 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,840 Speaker 1: I'm contemplating a three month European tour. I'm feeling again 762 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 1: and it's been fairly positive. I'm not in the best place, 763 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,200 Speaker 1: but definitely not as bad as I could be. And 764 00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:31,280 Speaker 1: that is the end. 765 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 2: And that's all you can ask for. 766 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,359 Speaker 1: Of that story. Yeah, I agree, not at. 767 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 2: The best place, but as well as you can be. 768 00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 2: Good luck getting to a better place. I suppose you'll 769 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 2: find someone better and maybe you know also be careful 770 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,359 Speaker 2: about it doesn't seem like you're rushing into a relationship, 771 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:47,359 Speaker 2: but don't do that. 772 00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,400 Speaker 3: Enjoy You have seventeen years to be single. Just do 773 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,839 Speaker 3: you and some people that you want to do and 774 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 3: have fun. Yeah, you're going to go on that European 775 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 3: tour and just enjoy yourself, enjoy life, do some stuff. 776 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story, and we got 777 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:03,960 Speaker 2: another one. Come and write it. 778 00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:06,719 Speaker 1: That's right. Hey, it's Sam, I'm your og host. Here 779 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 1: bad you back to the stories. But here's three minutes 780 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 1: bads from our sponsor. 781 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,800 Speaker 2: I want my ex off my mortgage now. Yeah, bigger 782 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,040 Speaker 2: warning for mentions of self harm. I am a twenty 783 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,880 Speaker 2: five female living in UK and my ex is a 784 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:22,920 Speaker 2: thirty male. We have been together for five years up 785 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 2: until last week when he suddenly told me he didn't 786 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 2: love me anymore, didn't want to be with me, and 787 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,120 Speaker 2: could never marry someone like me. 788 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 3: Wow eight thanks cheek? 789 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:35,839 Speaker 2: Oh is he three a crisis? I was shocked, confused, heartbroken, 790 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,000 Speaker 2: upset and angry, all emotions I didn't know I could 791 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:39,600 Speaker 2: feel at once. 792 00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,640 Speaker 3: At least he's honest, a love too honest, love too. 793 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 1: Maybe a little too much. 794 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 2: Honestly, considering that the same day, hours before, he was 795 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,160 Speaker 2: cuddling me in bed and giving me kisses I feel 796 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,839 Speaker 2: like there's got to have been something that happened. Either 797 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:57,040 Speaker 2: he's been like, you know, holding this in for a while, 798 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,399 Speaker 2: or something else happened that made him spook. By the way, 799 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,520 Speaker 2: this comes from Sammy Norbag And if you want to 800 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay 801 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,200 Speaker 2: storytime severed it and we'll try to give our best advice. 802 00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,560 Speaker 2: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so 803 00:38:11,760 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 2: if you have, let us know what you would do. 804 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,800 Speaker 2: In the comments, and Op says, we bought a house 805 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:20,399 Speaker 2: together four years ago. You bought a house one year 806 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,359 Speaker 2: into the relationship. 807 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,280 Speaker 1: That seems a little quick. 808 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,319 Speaker 2: Also, how did you have the money for that? Oh, 809 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 2: he was twenty one at the time, you like twenty four. 810 00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 1: I would bet it has something to do with bitcoin, 811 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 1: or familial connections or they build houses. 812 00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,359 Speaker 2: And I was all too happy that we finally had 813 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 2: our home. We were going to get animals, do the 814 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:45,759 Speaker 2: house up, decorate, all of which would cost many He 815 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 2: reinforced this by telling me it would cause money and 816 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,040 Speaker 2: convince me to get a credit card, something I never 817 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,319 Speaker 2: had before, but stupidly went along with because he had 818 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,080 Speaker 2: won and convinced me it would be necessary. I mean, 819 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 2: you should have a credit card. 820 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 1: No, I'm not even I'm laughing at what about commenters 821 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 1: can find? 822 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,439 Speaker 2: No, I know, but I'm talking about waybe I've got 823 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:06,680 Speaker 2: I've got shorts on guys, but. 824 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,160 Speaker 1: Will say that I'm talking. 825 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,920 Speaker 2: To cut a huts. Why did I feel like twenty 826 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,279 Speaker 2: one is you're old enough to have had a credit card? 827 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 2: I think it's you know, obviously he's up to no good. 828 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 2: But I don't think it's it's it is necessary. You 829 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 2: should have a credit card. 830 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:26,800 Speaker 1: You should have an understanding of how credit works. 831 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, you should be building your credit. I don't understand 832 00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 2: how you're buying a house without a credit card or. 833 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,280 Speaker 1: Credit probably lots of money. 834 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 2: Well, I'm just wondering where they're getting all this money, 835 00:39:39,160 --> 00:39:41,520 Speaker 2: because it doesn't If he's saying we need to get 836 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,400 Speaker 2: a credit card to buy all this stuff, then they 837 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 2: clearly don't have the money to buy buy a house outright. 838 00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:49,160 Speaker 2: How is there credit work? He's only twenty he was 839 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 2: twenty five. 840 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you need credit to be a 841 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,400 Speaker 1: blockchain billionaire. 842 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 2: You need credit to buy. 843 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,879 Speaker 1: Home, not if you just can prove honestly though, it's 844 00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:01,920 Speaker 1: not if you if you can prove an absurd amount 845 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,440 Speaker 1: of liquid assets. 846 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,920 Speaker 2: Absolutely, I doubt A twenty one year old and a 847 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 2: twenty four. 848 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,920 Speaker 1: Year old, Yes, those are That is the age bracket 849 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:12,160 Speaker 1: of the crypto billionaire. 850 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 2: What I didn't know was this was his plan. He 851 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:17,759 Speaker 2: put more of a deposit on the house, and we 852 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 2: agreed that as he earned more, he would pay more 853 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,759 Speaker 2: towards the bills, so I didn't feel any pressure. This 854 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,080 Speaker 2: was a false promise, as it quickly turned to all 855 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,920 Speaker 2: the bills being split fifty to fifty. At the time, 856 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:34,960 Speaker 2: my monthly income was about eleven hundred pounds, and I 857 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,680 Speaker 2: was spending about eight hundred pounds to pay my share 858 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,520 Speaker 2: of the bills, barely leaving enough money for my own 859 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:44,960 Speaker 2: personal bills and definitely not enough for myself. Okay, so 860 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 2: he's saying we're to split a fifty to fifty. Oh, 861 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:52,000 Speaker 2: he's making eleven hundred pounds, spending eight hundred on all 862 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:52,840 Speaker 2: of the hospells. 863 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 1: Oh, PE's spending more than How are you two thirds 864 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 1: of their paycheck on rent? 865 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,680 Speaker 2: How are you affording this house? I was naive and 866 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,600 Speaker 2: love and thought he loved me too. I had about 867 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:06,719 Speaker 2: three thousand pounds of cash and savings from birthdays, christmases, 868 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,439 Speaker 2: et cetera, and stupidly told him about it. He made 869 00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,959 Speaker 2: dang sure that whenever we went out to buy things 870 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:16,080 Speaker 2: for the house to say make sure you bring your cash, 871 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,560 Speaker 2: and then at the checkout would say, you use your 872 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 2: cash and I'll pay you back half when I get paid. 873 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,800 Speaker 2: I never saw his half of the payments and quickly 874 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,520 Speaker 2: ran out of my savings on the promise that he 875 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,360 Speaker 2: would give me his half. Upon moving in, My parents 876 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,520 Speaker 2: as a gift bought us a king sized bed, sofa 877 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:36,840 Speaker 2: set and paid to do up our kitchen and bathroom 878 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:37,480 Speaker 2: after there was. 879 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,720 Speaker 3: Come on, the parents have to be rich. 880 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,799 Speaker 2: I mean they must be. That does sound it, But like, yeah, 881 00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:45,719 Speaker 2: Lou says, eleven hundred is so little. Maybe I'm just 882 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:50,480 Speaker 2: thinking like LA housing, But like I just can't imagine, 883 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 2: even in the UK, that there is a house that 884 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,480 Speaker 2: you like. How are you? How did you buy a house? Outright? 885 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,440 Speaker 1: I'm going to the average stuff. 886 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 3: I'm gonna look up the average out of a house 887 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,920 Speaker 3: in the UK compared to LA. How about that? 888 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? With me panicking as I couldn't afford to fix 889 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,960 Speaker 2: the bathroom, my parents went into their pocket to help 890 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:12,759 Speaker 2: their daughter and where was he certainly not reaching into 891 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 2: his savings anytime soon. In total, my parents put about 892 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,239 Speaker 2: fifteen K into our house as a gift and out 893 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 2: of necessity. Why did you buy this house to have 894 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,360 Speaker 2: Why did you buy this house have a house? 895 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:30,160 Speaker 1: I don't understand it is it is weird that it 896 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:33,919 Speaker 1: really doesn't feel like y'all were a team on any 897 00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:37,360 Speaker 1: level really just on a word level. Y'all were like 898 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,520 Speaker 1: on the same team, but it had never tested. Y'all 899 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:41,560 Speaker 1: didn't field test. 900 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,759 Speaker 2: I hope he was twenty and he was twenty five 901 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 2: when they first started dating. 902 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,800 Speaker 3: And then okay, so so not a CAC guy says 903 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,319 Speaker 3: in some parts of the UK can buy a house 904 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 3: for under one hundred K. 905 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:53,680 Speaker 2: But there's no way that she has one hundred K. 906 00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 2: She said she had three thousand pounds of money and 907 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,799 Speaker 2: in K says with the legal money rich girlfriend. But 908 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 2: like it doesn't even seem like they have. I'm just 909 00:43:04,640 --> 00:43:07,360 Speaker 2: confused because like they have never unless so he doesn't 910 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 2: know about any of that, and he's fronting all of 911 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:13,239 Speaker 2: this like substance money. We know that the parents put 912 00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:15,680 Speaker 2: in fifteen K, so maybe they put in more money 913 00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 2: for the house, but like, I'm just confused why they 914 00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:21,319 Speaker 2: would front that money to their Like if I went 915 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,920 Speaker 2: to my parents at twenty and said, I'm moving in 916 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,440 Speaker 2: with this guy, this twenty five year old, and we're 917 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 2: gonna buy a house, but we also don't have the money, 918 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:31,520 Speaker 2: so can you front this money? They'd say, no, we're 919 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,320 Speaker 2: not helping you buy a house that you can't afford. 920 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,640 Speaker 2: So I'm just confused why they did this, uh, or 921 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,560 Speaker 2: why your parents are on board for this and helping 922 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,840 Speaker 2: you front that money. It quickly became a parent that 923 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 2: I was not a girlfriend but more of a personal housekeeper. 924 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 2: I did the cleaning, cooking, et cetera, while he lay 925 00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,920 Speaker 2: on the sofa watching TV or playing video games with 926 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,680 Speaker 2: his friends. After promising a night of watching a movie together, 927 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,040 Speaker 2: he would suddenly say that his friend texted him to 928 00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,439 Speaker 2: hang out, so that's what he do. He would ask 929 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:00,200 Speaker 2: me to drive him there and to pick him up 930 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 2: later on as he was going to be drinking. So 931 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,840 Speaker 2: I was not only a housekeeper but also a taxi service. 932 00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 2: I started to get sick of this lifestyle as it 933 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 2: no longer felt like a relationship. He hounded me for 934 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,040 Speaker 2: money one day and made me feel guilty that I 935 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,799 Speaker 2: didn't have it. I went to see my mom and 936 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,160 Speaker 2: ended up getting really upset. She told me to address 937 00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 2: it sooner rather than later. I approached him to talk 938 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,000 Speaker 2: about things and said that if we couldn't sort out 939 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,720 Speaker 2: our situation, then we would have to sell the house 940 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,160 Speaker 2: in part ways. He started hyperventilating and asking me not 941 00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 2: to leave, saying he was so scared if I left 942 00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,840 Speaker 2: that he'd have nothing else. So I stayed. Going to 943 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 2: fast forward to twenty twenty three, he was made redundant 944 00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,680 Speaker 2: from his job and a month later got a new job, 945 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,200 Speaker 2: and he would come home from work beaming and telling 946 00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,320 Speaker 2: me how the manager said that him and this girl 947 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:53,160 Speaker 2: he worked with made such a great team and really connected. No, 948 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 2: so now now I's going to cheat on you after 949 00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:57,960 Speaker 2: you've been taking care of this entire house and also 950 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 2: freaking paid to fail parents paid to fix up this house. 951 00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,920 Speaker 1: Honestly, the moment I hear the but if you leave me, 952 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 1: I'll have nothing good, I'd say, but it's only up 953 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:08,359 Speaker 1: from there. 954 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,080 Speaker 2: But then you got nothing to lose. 955 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 1: I'm a cowboy up Bootstrap City. Wow, your name is 956 00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:18,880 Speaker 1: Bill Turner, I mean Will Turner or no it's Bill Turner. 957 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,160 Speaker 1: I need to sleep. 958 00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I really think. Op, next time, don't buy a 959 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:26,120 Speaker 2: house with a person you've known I just for a year, 960 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:28,080 Speaker 2: and that you can't afford. 961 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,040 Speaker 3: I'm giving not the benefit of a doubt for othpee. 962 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,479 Speaker 3: But again, ohp he's young. 963 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,439 Speaker 2: That's the thing. Oh he's very young, very young, very young. 964 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:37,040 Speaker 3: Get it. 965 00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:38,880 Speaker 2: Got into a relationship pretty quick. 966 00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:43,479 Speaker 1: If nothing without you, then they need to become something. Yeah, 967 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:44,440 Speaker 1: without on their own. 968 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,600 Speaker 2: I'm not proud, but I am the jealous type. If 969 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 2: I have a gut feeling that something isn't right, my 970 00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 2: gut is always spot on quickly. The friendship between him 971 00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 2: and his colleague group every night after coming home from work, 972 00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,520 Speaker 2: I was cast aside and he went on to discord 973 00:45:59,520 --> 00:45:59,960 Speaker 2: to play a game. 974 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 1: So there you go see, shored strap bailed Tana. 975 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,360 Speaker 2: The day I drew a line was when he said 976 00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,200 Speaker 2: that he had organized a day out for the pair 977 00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:12,719 Speaker 2: of them doing his favorite hobbies, but I was not 978 00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:15,520 Speaker 2: invited as it would just be the two of them. 979 00:46:15,800 --> 00:46:19,040 Speaker 1: This is hey, y y, and we were not cool 980 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,600 Speaker 1: with this, right he yea yeah, please tell me we 981 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:23,480 Speaker 1: were not cool with that? 982 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,080 Speaker 2: I said, I wasn't comfortable and he guilted me saying 983 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 2: that he told me where they were going, so he 984 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,840 Speaker 2: wasn't trying to be sneaky, and also said I should 985 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,040 Speaker 2: be more understanding as her mother is cancer and he 986 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,799 Speaker 2: lost a brother to cancer years ago. What is there 987 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:37,680 Speaker 2: to understand there? 988 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,959 Speaker 1: Y'all can join a support group. What are you talking about? 989 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:42,360 Speaker 1: What y'all have shared experience? 990 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 2: No way, Tons of people have shared experience. But when 991 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:47,759 Speaker 2: I found out a couple of months prior that my 992 00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,000 Speaker 2: dad had cancer and I was crying on the sofa, 993 00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:52,360 Speaker 2: he came in and said, why are you being so 994 00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,399 Speaker 2: hysterical to now? You can't bond with op big mom? 995 00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:56,160 Speaker 2: With other girl? 996 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:56,719 Speaker 1: Is this? 997 00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:57,040 Speaker 2: That? 998 00:46:57,280 --> 00:46:59,920 Speaker 1: Is this? The uh? The song too perfect? 999 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:02,120 Speaker 2: I don't know that's one, it's the other. Maybe I'm 1000 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:04,319 Speaker 2: kuper big, I'll do that. 1001 00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:05,760 Speaker 1: I'm not. Yeah. 1002 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:09,800 Speaker 2: Even when my mother tried to commit to self harm 1003 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:13,040 Speaker 2: in twenty twenty one and I went on antidepressants, he 1004 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:17,320 Speaker 2: would constantly say, it'll be okay, try to forget about it. 1005 00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,759 Speaker 2: Probably his take on monetary issues too. 1006 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,879 Speaker 3: Forget about it, Yeah, we can't afford this out. 1007 00:47:23,239 --> 00:47:25,439 Speaker 2: Forget about it. Let's just put it on the credit card. 1008 00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:29,200 Speaker 2: Forget about it no words of comfort and no words 1009 00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:32,040 Speaker 2: of sympathy. If I tried to talk about my problems, 1010 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 2: he would suddenly switch the conversation to something about him. 1011 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:39,320 Speaker 2: He dominated conversations between me and my best friend, sometimes 1012 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,479 Speaker 2: taking over the whole thing as if I wasn't there. 1013 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,600 Speaker 2: He suddenly started losing weight quickly. He bought designer clothes 1014 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:48,320 Speaker 2: at around three hundred pounds a shop, a one forty 1015 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:52,799 Speaker 2: pound pair of trainers, and completely changed his hairstyle. I 1016 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,640 Speaker 2: wonder who's doing that for. Also, why are we spending 1017 00:47:56,040 --> 00:48:00,279 Speaker 2: hundreds of pounds on clothes when you can't afford to 1018 00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:02,920 Speaker 2: freaking pay to fix up the house that you bought? 1019 00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,800 Speaker 1: Give me back my money, Remember that money I paid. 1020 00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,080 Speaker 1: Give me the back that half the money that paid 1021 00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,560 Speaker 1: me back. Give paid me back my half. Chief. 1022 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,760 Speaker 2: I knew deep down something was wrong, and he started 1023 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,400 Speaker 2: staying later at the office to catch. 1024 00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,520 Speaker 1: Up with the team. 1025 00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,160 Speaker 2: Sure, you are catching up with the team. 1026 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're probably catching some kind of illness. 1027 00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,360 Speaker 2: I stupidly took him at face value until I realized 1028 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,879 Speaker 2: he had made a hidden channel on discord for him 1029 00:48:27,880 --> 00:48:30,799 Speaker 2: and his colleague to go into knowing full well that 1030 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,440 Speaker 2: I couldn't join it or see it. Going forward to 1031 00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:35,759 Speaker 2: the events of last week, we had a good day, 1032 00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,400 Speaker 2: went out, cudd old, kissed the stuff we'd done before 1033 00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,200 Speaker 2: he got the new job, and then suddenly that night 1034 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,879 Speaker 2: he said that he doesn't love me anymore, but then 1035 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,960 Speaker 2: wouldn't go to bed unless I was going to join 1036 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:48,120 Speaker 2: him in the bed. 1037 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 3: He's his s Teddy bear. 1038 00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:52,880 Speaker 1: This is this is the flip Flop song. This is 1039 00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,920 Speaker 1: Messy by Lola Young, So it's like his I'm so 1040 00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 1: perfect and then you tell me that you freaking hate me, 1041 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:01,000 Speaker 1: and then you don't love me anymore, but then you 1042 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 1: still want me to sleep in the bed. Those aren't 1043 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,960 Speaker 1: the lyrics of the song, but it's but they could be. 1044 00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:06,400 Speaker 1: They could They fit right in. 1045 00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:10,279 Speaker 2: Still very confused by the whole situation, my sister came 1046 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:12,959 Speaker 2: by the house the next day for moral support, as 1047 00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,560 Speaker 2: did his brother. I went for a walk to clear 1048 00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:17,600 Speaker 2: my head and think about what I wanted to say. 1049 00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,520 Speaker 2: But little did I know that while I was gone, 1050 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:24,200 Speaker 2: he was fabricating stories to my sister and brother, saying 1051 00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,160 Speaker 2: I was an aggressive drinker and self harming all the time. 1052 00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:30,680 Speaker 2: If anyone here takes sir Telene, you know you're not 1053 00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,000 Speaker 2: supposed to drink on it, and I certainly did not 1054 00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,560 Speaker 2: enjoy the effects the first time, I ignored the advice. 1055 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:38,759 Speaker 2: After this, I maybe would have had one or two 1056 00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,160 Speaker 2: siders with the odd meal on occasions, but that was all. 1057 00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:45,319 Speaker 2: And I will admit that I self harmed occasionally. I 1058 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,319 Speaker 2: hadn't for ten years until he started behaving oddly around me. 1059 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,040 Speaker 2: Even then, my emotions would overwhelm me and I would 1060 00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,320 Speaker 2: do it to ground myself. Again, never extensively. 1061 00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:57,759 Speaker 1: Okay, well, definitely don't don't do that relationship. 1062 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,640 Speaker 2: Don't do that OPA like washing you to that you 1063 00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:03,040 Speaker 2: got to leave this relationship, and too, like, definitely go 1064 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,960 Speaker 2: to therapy because I feel like you're trying to justify it. 1065 00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,200 Speaker 2: You know, you're still not in a good place and 1066 00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,400 Speaker 2: you need help. When I came back from my walk, 1067 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:14,440 Speaker 2: we sat down to discuss things and he informed me 1068 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,520 Speaker 2: that he was moving to his sisters for a while. 1069 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:20,640 Speaker 2: So after packing some bags, he left. I felt like 1070 00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:24,160 Speaker 2: a weight lifted slightly until the next day. My mother 1071 00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,279 Speaker 2: packed the rest of his things to prevent him being 1072 00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,799 Speaker 2: in the house and around me for prolonged periods, But 1073 00:50:29,840 --> 00:50:32,239 Speaker 2: whenever mother and his friend were out of earshot, he 1074 00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:35,719 Speaker 2: started threatening me with solicitors and then being nice at 1075 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,560 Speaker 2: PIE when they came back. Recently, I found out that 1076 00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:41,279 Speaker 2: he has been telling lies for weeks about me and 1077 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,400 Speaker 2: still is. He tried to turn my best friend against 1078 00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,200 Speaker 2: me by saying that he's been unhappy in the relationship 1079 00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:49,360 Speaker 2: for a while and has tried to break up with 1080 00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,600 Speaker 2: me multiple times but can't. As I tell him that 1081 00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:55,200 Speaker 2: I'd done alive myself if he left, and then said 1082 00:50:55,239 --> 00:50:57,600 Speaker 2: that I would proceed to self harm in front of him, 1083 00:50:57,719 --> 00:50:59,879 Speaker 2: my best friend started to pity him and turn again, 1084 00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,120 Speaker 2: as he was very convincing. He's told several people that 1085 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,720 Speaker 2: I'm an aggressive drinker, told his family in closest friends 1086 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,360 Speaker 2: that I forced him out of the house because he 1087 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:13,120 Speaker 2: felt wrapped by my anxieties and threatening to unlive myself 1088 00:51:13,160 --> 00:51:16,400 Speaker 2: if he left. He's also said that my anger issues 1089 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,200 Speaker 2: made him scared to come home from work. The thing 1090 00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,000 Speaker 2: is he worked from home mainly and was never scared 1091 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:25,160 Speaker 2: of me, considering he towers over me and loved to 1092 00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,960 Speaker 2: practice mixed martial arts on me. What I think, hopefully 1093 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,919 Speaker 2: you mean that in like a not bad way, like, oh, 1094 00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:34,080 Speaker 2: like you guys would wrestle or something. 1095 00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:36,600 Speaker 1: They're just both yoked MMA fighters. 1096 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,399 Speaker 2: He's been threatening me with solicitor action if I don't 1097 00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 2: agree to sell the house. I don't want to sell 1098 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,200 Speaker 2: the house, as i'd have nowhere else to go. Unfortunately, 1099 00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:47,880 Speaker 2: I can't even move back in with my parents. He 1100 00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,080 Speaker 2: said I'd need to buy him out then, and he 1101 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:54,240 Speaker 2: wants his to pause it back, which is thirteen thousand pounds. 1102 00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:57,640 Speaker 2: Originally I put down a deposit of ten thousand, but 1103 00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,920 Speaker 2: looking around the house and packing up his moving van 1104 00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,680 Speaker 2: load of stuff personal items, I have very little of. 1105 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:05,160 Speaker 2: Most of my money was used for the house and 1106 00:52:05,239 --> 00:52:07,440 Speaker 2: brings the total amount that I put into the house 1107 00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:13,200 Speaker 2: to about thirty thousand pounds UH, including my parents' contribution. 1108 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,480 Speaker 2: He said that the money myself and my parents put 1109 00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,040 Speaker 2: in doesn't matter, as it was for him too. He's 1110 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:20,840 Speaker 2: been making my life a living heck since with acting 1111 00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,960 Speaker 2: up in front of people like a torn man and 1112 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,000 Speaker 2: then approaching and threatening me with legal action, not caring 1113 00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 2: that I would be homeless with numerous animals. The reason 1114 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,799 Speaker 2: I write this is because I know I'll not be 1115 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,719 Speaker 2: able to move on and recover unless I get his 1116 00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:38,040 Speaker 2: name off the mortgage so he no longer is tied 1117 00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,360 Speaker 2: to me, I was being too generous with what he 1118 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:42,920 Speaker 2: could take from the house until I found out that 1119 00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:45,839 Speaker 2: he's been painting me in the wrong to everyone else. 1120 00:52:46,120 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story. 1121 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,879 Speaker 2: Any final thoughts lawyer, yeah, lawyer. 1122 00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,360 Speaker 1: Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. 1123 00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:58,200 Speaker 2: Lawyer, yes, lawyer. But also be very careful about your 1124 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,400 Speaker 2: next relationship, because it seems like you know, you were 1125 00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:03,239 Speaker 2: twenty year young, got into this relationship, moved a little 1126 00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:06,240 Speaker 2: bit oh too quick, just for your next one. Don't 1127 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,439 Speaker 2: rush into buying a home with someone that you've only 1128 00:53:08,480 --> 00:53:11,480 Speaker 2: been into a relationship with for a year. Don't let 1129 00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:14,680 Speaker 2: people convince you of how to spend your money if 1130 00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:15,720 Speaker 2: you don't think that's wise. 1131 00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,480 Speaker 3: Did also, yeah, did Opie say, I don't remember a recall. 1132 00:53:19,680 --> 00:53:24,239 Speaker 3: Did Opie say she lived with him prior to this 1133 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,000 Speaker 3: or they just moved like they bought the house. 1134 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,680 Speaker 2: They bought the house a year into the relationship. 1135 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:30,440 Speaker 3: But did they say did she say, like, oh, we 1136 00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:32,000 Speaker 3: lived together like a couple months? 1137 00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,160 Speaker 2: I don't even I don't think so, because that's yeah, 1138 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,560 Speaker 2: that's like a real like they hadn't even lived together first. 1139 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,319 Speaker 3: Because that's a huge thing like to get in like 1140 00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:43,880 Speaker 3: there's one staying with your partner, but like living with 1141 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:47,120 Speaker 3: your partner, that's when they you see their true colors 1142 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:47,960 Speaker 3: and which we've got. 1143 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,920 Speaker 2: It's like it's like level, it's it's being with a partner. Yeah, 1144 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,160 Speaker 2: for a year, living with a partner, buying a house 1145 00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,600 Speaker 2: with a partner, like getting her pet and getting a pet, 1146 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,760 Speaker 2: like these are all like huge steps and it seems 1147 00:53:58,760 --> 00:53:59,960 Speaker 2: like they they rushed into all. 1148 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,759 Speaker 3: They jumped to the very last step or like one 1149 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,440 Speaker 3: of the last steps, and they have pets. Yeah, oh man. 1150 00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,480 Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story 1151 00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:12,800 Speaker 2: record everything, as Dutchess Cassanda says, has anyone experienced similar? 1152 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,120 Speaker 2: Does anyone know of legal way to get him off 1153 00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:18,640 Speaker 2: the mortgage without paying him the full thirteen K as 1154 00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:20,279 Speaker 2: I don't think he is a title to the full 1155 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:23,279 Speaker 2: amount and definitely does not deserve it either, as he 1156 00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:25,759 Speaker 2: got me to use my credit cards, running myself into 1157 00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,000 Speaker 2: debts while he enjoyed letting me know how much in 1158 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,920 Speaker 2: savings he had and was going to look at getting 1159 00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,200 Speaker 2: himself a new car. I am out of debt now 1160 00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:36,239 Speaker 2: and starting to gain some savings back, but I just 1161 00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:38,800 Speaker 2: need him out of my life and off the mortgage 1162 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:42,640 Speaker 2: without losing a full thirteen K if possible. Any help 1163 00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:46,319 Speaker 2: and advice is greatly appreciated, and there is no more 1164 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:47,000 Speaker 2: to that story. 1165 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:50,240 Speaker 1: That is the end of that story. 1166 00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:53,799 Speaker 2: Dang, good luck, O peep. Yeah, honestly, you might have 1167 00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:55,520 Speaker 2: to sue. You might have to get a lawyer for this. 1168 00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:56,760 Speaker 3: Not definitely sue. 1169 00:54:56,840 --> 00:55:02,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent lawyer, one hundred percent record, Yeah, 1170 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:06,240 Speaker 1: one hundred percent leave, Yes, one hundred percent new life. 1171 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,640 Speaker 1: What's the type of situation that would make me just 1172 00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:11,359 Speaker 1: be like, I'm gonna disappear. I need to start over 1173 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:14,880 Speaker 1: to like Luxembourg. Hey it's Sam. We'll get back to 1174 00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,640 Speaker 1: the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1175 00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:22,520 Speaker 2: My father cheated with twelve different women and expected my 1176 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:23,719 Speaker 2: mother to pay for it. 1177 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,920 Speaker 1: Well, she definitely paid for it emotionally. 1178 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:30,120 Speaker 2: And this comes directly from the Okay subreddit. No, my 1179 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:34,239 Speaker 2: thirty female dad fifty eight male has cheated on my 1180 00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:39,480 Speaker 2: mom fifty six female multiple times throughout their marriage. He's 1181 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:43,319 Speaker 2: now fathered almost twelve children. I'm number seven. Only two 1182 00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:45,560 Speaker 2: of us are my mom's and he just got my 1183 00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:48,439 Speaker 2: little sister's mom pregnant again, by the way, this comes 1184 00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:51,360 Speaker 2: from series automatic five one seven zero. And if you 1185 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:52,920 Speaker 2: want to smit your own stories, go to the r 1186 00:55:52,960 --> 00:55:55,600 Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime, separate it and we'll try to give 1187 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,239 Speaker 2: our best advice. But we haven't experienced most of these 1188 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:01,520 Speaker 2: situations ourselves, so if you have, let us know what 1189 00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,200 Speaker 2: you would do in the comments and op says. Growing up, 1190 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:08,400 Speaker 2: my mom was basically a single parent. He worked twelve 1191 00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,560 Speaker 2: hour shifts, seven days a week to provide for us 1192 00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,160 Speaker 2: while my dad was out cheating. I always said she 1193 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,160 Speaker 2: was both the queen and the king in our home 1194 00:56:16,200 --> 00:56:18,720 Speaker 2: because she carried the weight of everything. My dad didn't 1195 00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:22,000 Speaker 2: help raise us or support the household in any meaningful way. 1196 00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,359 Speaker 2: Because of this, my childhood was far from normal. I 1197 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,400 Speaker 2: worked four jobs as a teenager to help keep the 1198 00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:31,680 Speaker 2: family afloat. My older brother ended up on the streets 1199 00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:36,480 Speaker 2: doing things that eventually landed him incarcerated. We sacrificed and 1200 00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,920 Speaker 2: struggled because my dad chose himself over his family. There 1201 00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,439 Speaker 2: was a brief period where my dad gave his life 1202 00:56:42,440 --> 00:56:44,920 Speaker 2: to Christ and we thought things had changed, but when 1203 00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:49,560 Speaker 2: my mom developed medical issues, he backslid. He started disappearing, 1204 00:56:49,719 --> 00:56:52,799 Speaker 2: stopped helping and went back to his old ways. My 1205 00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,279 Speaker 2: mom funded the house in our home country, and my 1206 00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:59,359 Speaker 2: dad already owes her over ten thousand dollars. Despite this, 1207 00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:01,680 Speaker 2: he recently ask my mom for money to come home. 1208 00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:04,000 Speaker 2: He sent him money, but he blew it on dates 1209 00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:06,680 Speaker 2: and dinners with the woman he cheated with. When I 1210 00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,840 Speaker 2: learned that my dad got someone younger than me pregnant, 1211 00:57:10,520 --> 00:57:13,839 Speaker 2: I got really angry. I told him it made me uncomfortable. 1212 00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:16,640 Speaker 2: His response, I had need. 1213 00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:18,160 Speaker 1: I was hungry. 1214 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:19,800 Speaker 2: What do you expect me to do? 1215 00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:24,920 Speaker 3: He was hungry? Feed me seymore bro, I was hungry. 1216 00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:26,040 Speaker 1: You don't understand. 1217 00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, at that point, I'd be like cutting cutting dad off. 1218 00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,560 Speaker 2: That shattered any last outs of respect I had. Not 1219 00:57:32,720 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 2: only did he betray my mom, but his actions re 1220 00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:38,480 Speaker 2: traumatize me in ways he'll never understand. 1221 00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:42,800 Speaker 3: Is this, Frankallagher, that's crazy? Oh okay, Billy time, Okay, 1222 00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,320 Speaker 3: Billy time, that's crazy. 1223 00:57:44,440 --> 00:57:45,720 Speaker 2: This is actually shameless. 1224 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:49,720 Speaker 1: Wow. I just think sometimes you gotta cut your losses 1225 00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:50,320 Speaker 1: with people. 1226 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:50,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1227 00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:54,000 Speaker 2: I think if your dad is like this, takes no accountability, 1228 00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:58,720 Speaker 2: continues to behave in this manner, I yeah, I don't think, 1229 00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:00,400 Speaker 2: like if you just can't respect it. I don't know 1230 00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:03,240 Speaker 2: if there's a relationship to be had with him right now. 1231 00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,760 Speaker 3: It's really tough though, and this is one of our owns. 1232 00:58:05,920 --> 00:58:09,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I understand the feeling of wanting to 1233 00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,000 Speaker 2: being sad about losing that relationship and stuff, but I 1234 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:16,080 Speaker 2: think that like putting up boundaries for your own sake is. 1235 00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:17,920 Speaker 1: Important, very true. 1236 00:58:18,080 --> 00:58:21,080 Speaker 2: The disrespect, yeah, I mean, just to say that to you, 1237 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:22,640 Speaker 2: the whole thing of like, h I'm hungry. What was 1238 00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:26,240 Speaker 2: I supposed to do that's so dispassed. When he asked 1239 00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:28,800 Speaker 2: for more money, I snapped, I told him, you can 1240 00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:31,280 Speaker 2: ask the women you cheated with for money to get 1241 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:32,880 Speaker 2: back home, not my mom. 1242 00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:33,360 Speaker 3: Love that. 1243 00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:36,400 Speaker 2: I also said divorce papers would be waiting. That's when 1244 00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,919 Speaker 2: things exploded for the first time ever. He cursed me out. 1245 00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:42,560 Speaker 2: He said he's not the one to be messed with, 1246 00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,480 Speaker 2: and I shot back, no, I'm not the one you 1247 00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:48,320 Speaker 2: raised me to not be the one to mess with. 1248 00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:51,000 Speaker 2: He claims he's the king and my mom needs to 1249 00:58:51,120 --> 00:58:52,000 Speaker 2: no work place. 1250 00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:53,880 Speaker 1: I'm not the one. 1251 00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,960 Speaker 2: I reminded him that he was never the king. My 1252 00:58:57,120 --> 00:59:01,320 Speaker 2: mom was the one who sacrificed, harried and provided. He 1253 00:59:01,440 --> 00:59:03,760 Speaker 2: only drained her I also told him he taught me 1254 00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,840 Speaker 2: exactly what kind of man I will never marry. So 1255 00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,720 Speaker 2: am I wrong for telling my dad? Enough is enough 1256 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,800 Speaker 2: that if he can find his way into another woman's bed, 1257 00:59:13,280 --> 00:59:15,880 Speaker 2: he can find his way home without leeching off my mom? 1258 00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,520 Speaker 2: And you're very much not wrong. 1259 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:21,600 Speaker 1: I told him what burn. He needed to hear that 1260 00:59:21,920 --> 00:59:23,080 Speaker 1: you told him what bur. 1261 00:59:23,400 --> 00:59:27,480 Speaker 2: He seems not like a He's not the best guy. 1262 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,760 Speaker 1: He's a scumbag, dude, And you don't know action like 1263 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:34,840 Speaker 1: a scumbag. He's behaving like a scumbag. He's a scumbag. 1264 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,520 Speaker 2: But uh, that is the end of that story, folks. 1265 00:59:37,720 --> 00:59:40,520 Speaker 2: These comments come from the video My parents are Stocking 1266 00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:43,720 Speaker 2: Me twenty four to seven. This was posted on August 1267 00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,280 Speaker 2: twenty sixth, twenty twenty five, and the TLDR is Opie's 1268 00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,919 Speaker 2: parents gave him his first phone but made him share 1269 00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:52,600 Speaker 2: his location twenty four to seven. He felt like a 1270 00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:55,680 Speaker 2: prisoner and wanted to protest by wearing a faink ankle 1271 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,120 Speaker 2: monitor costume. Instead, he tried to give the phone back, 1272 00:59:59,200 --> 01:00:02,280 Speaker 2: which made his parents parents really upset. Now his phone 1273 01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,240 Speaker 2: is locked down so he can only call in text, 1274 01:00:04,720 --> 01:00:07,440 Speaker 2: and his parents renamed it ankle monitor. In Find My 1275 01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,720 Speaker 2: you learned that sometimes parents' rules aren't about trust, they're 1276 01:00:10,760 --> 01:00:13,800 Speaker 2: about worry and safety. I remember this story and I did. 1277 01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:17,720 Speaker 2: I Yeah, it was definitely like a sixteen year old move. 1278 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:22,320 Speaker 3: So bomb dot Com twenty one sixty eighth had a comment, 1279 01:00:22,480 --> 01:00:24,520 Speaker 3: what bothers me most about the first story? Bless you? 1280 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,840 Speaker 3: The first story is io OP, as far as we know, 1281 01:00:26,960 --> 01:00:30,080 Speaker 3: has shown no indication that there's a behavioral issue that 1282 01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,400 Speaker 3: would warrant the constant supervision. They've trusted OP up until 1283 01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:37,160 Speaker 3: that point that they got them the phone, and now 1284 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:40,080 Speaker 3: suddenly they don't trust them enough to not have the 1285 01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:42,840 Speaker 3: tracking app on it. My grandparents made it a condition 1286 01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:45,080 Speaker 3: for me to keep my phone under their plan. I'm 1287 01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,360 Speaker 3: nineteen and plan to switch to my dad's phone plan 1288 01:00:47,440 --> 01:00:49,480 Speaker 3: until I can get my own to keep Life three 1289 01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:51,880 Speaker 3: sixty on my phone, which didn't make sense to me 1290 01:00:51,920 --> 01:00:54,680 Speaker 3: since they had me downloaded when I was seventeen and 1291 01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:58,120 Speaker 3: had already established that I wasn't going anywhere unsafe and 1292 01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:00,120 Speaker 3: that whenever I did leave the house, I checked in 1293 01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,520 Speaker 3: with my family first. And it's still a condition until 1294 01:01:03,600 --> 01:01:06,120 Speaker 3: I get on a different plan now that I'm an adult. 1295 01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:08,880 Speaker 3: My question is just how far the line will be 1296 01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:10,960 Speaker 3: drawn and why it was drawn to begin with. 1297 01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:14,720 Speaker 2: Personally, my parents never gave me Life through sixty or 1298 01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:18,160 Speaker 2: never personally sixer no, but also personally as a parent, 1299 01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:19,720 Speaker 2: I don't think I would do that either. It was 1300 01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,440 Speaker 2: the kind of where I was going with that. 1301 01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:22,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 1302 01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:25,400 Speaker 2: However, I had a lot of friends when I was 1303 01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,600 Speaker 2: growing up in high school who did whose parents did 1304 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,000 Speaker 2: make them put Life through Sixty on their phones, and 1305 01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:33,240 Speaker 2: they weren't like kids that were going off partying, sneaking 1306 01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:34,000 Speaker 2: out or anything. 1307 01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:35,800 Speaker 3: I do remember the story because I was talking about 1308 01:01:35,880 --> 01:01:39,160 Speaker 3: we were talking about like how free we were as like, yeah, teenagers, 1309 01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:40,320 Speaker 3: so yeah, I mean I. 1310 01:01:40,240 --> 01:01:43,200 Speaker 2: Wasn't going anywhere, but like my friends, like they all 1311 01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:45,720 Speaker 2: had you know, Life through Sixty on their kids' phones 1312 01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:49,600 Speaker 2: and stuff or on their phones, and I think it 1313 01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:53,120 Speaker 2: is kind of just a parent to parent thing. And unfortunately, 1314 01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:56,240 Speaker 2: I think that when you parents are paying for your 1315 01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:59,520 Speaker 2: phone plan, they do a little bit get a say 1316 01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:03,600 Speaker 2: and what you know, goes on your phone fifteen kids. Yeah, 1317 01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:06,480 Speaker 2: I think it's like it sucks and when you turn eighteen, 1318 01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:08,560 Speaker 2: yeah they should they should not have it still on 1319 01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,360 Speaker 2: your phone. But I think it is just kind of 1320 01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:12,920 Speaker 2: really fight back gets your parents who are paying for 1321 01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:13,600 Speaker 2: your phone plan. 1322 01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:17,959 Speaker 3: I remember we were having this conversation and it does suck, 1323 01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,600 Speaker 3: but it's also you know, I did this as a 1324 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:22,880 Speaker 3: kid or as a teenager. I was like, I was 1325 01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:25,320 Speaker 3: comparing my freedom compared to my friend's freedom where they 1326 01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:27,920 Speaker 3: their parents were like, I have a phone, I can 1327 01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:29,800 Speaker 3: go out and do this, I can do that, I 1328 01:02:30,040 --> 01:02:32,160 Speaker 3: you know, And I was like, I don't get to 1329 01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,520 Speaker 3: do that. Yeah, I'm like, sucks to suck. Yeah, I 1330 01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,960 Speaker 3: was like, I was like, mom, Dad, could I do that? No? 1331 01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:38,440 Speaker 3: Why not? Because we said so? 1332 01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:39,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, because we said so. 1333 01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:40,960 Speaker 1: I Uh. 1334 01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,400 Speaker 3: Any other comment, Yes, another comment from Morgan Hunts thirty. 1335 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,160 Speaker 3: I was almost kidnapped three times. I was fifteen and 1336 01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,920 Speaker 3: almost six feet tall. I had no phone and no 1337 01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:51,520 Speaker 3: way of communicating or tracking. 1338 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:54,439 Speaker 2: I'm sorry you were fifteen and almost six feet tall 1339 01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,120 Speaker 2: and people were trying to kidnap you. 1340 01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:58,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, they were probably trying to kidab you to turn 1341 01:02:58,080 --> 01:02:59,200 Speaker 1: you into an athlete. 1342 01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:02,520 Speaker 2: Shit, it was it was like d one athlete scout. 1343 01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,720 Speaker 2: To be clear, that's really dramatic and that's awful and 1344 01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:08,080 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that happened to you. 1345 01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:12,520 Speaker 3: Were named scout Morgan Hunts also continues, it was in 1346 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,040 Speaker 3: multi millionaire homes and amazing neighborhoods. I was walking to 1347 01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,720 Speaker 3: school a very short distance. It takes ten seconds and 1348 01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,840 Speaker 3: you're gone forever. The police and FBI got involved. It 1349 01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:25,160 Speaker 3: was the lower levels of a Oh it was a 1350 01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:26,000 Speaker 3: trafficking ring. 1351 01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:28,479 Speaker 2: Oh that's terrifying. Yes, I'm glad you're safe. 1352 01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:31,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, thank goodness. And hopefully they got that, get all, 1353 01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:31,760 Speaker 3: they got all of that. 1354 01:03:32,120 --> 01:03:32,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1355 01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,720 Speaker 3: So, and she continues, you should absolutely have tracking if 1356 01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:38,280 Speaker 3: you're a kid out in the world. Later that month, 1357 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,000 Speaker 3: a middle school girl went missing. She was gone and 1358 01:03:41,000 --> 01:03:43,320 Speaker 3: it was never solved, and once the FBI wasn't involved, 1359 01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,720 Speaker 3: you never saw the same guys. Again, it's necessary, and 1360 01:03:46,720 --> 01:03:48,600 Speaker 3: I think she also continues. 1361 01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,720 Speaker 2: I think a lot of times it's not dramatic. It's 1362 01:03:50,760 --> 01:03:54,080 Speaker 2: not about necessarily not trusting your kids, but about not 1363 01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,600 Speaker 2: trusting other people. 1364 01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,840 Speaker 3: And then she also continues, anyone who's completely against location 1365 01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,680 Speaker 3: sharing should listen to more true crime. No, you don't 1366 01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:04,360 Speaker 3: want to implement that, the true crime thing, but yeah, 1367 01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:06,320 Speaker 3: at the end of the day, I think the reasoning 1368 01:04:06,360 --> 01:04:09,280 Speaker 3: is safety and concern, which is one hundred percent I 1369 01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:10,640 Speaker 3: agree with yeah, and there's you. 1370 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:13,160 Speaker 2: Know, there's a balance. But but that's the end of those. 1371 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:14,800 Speaker 3: Talments I think we have. Yeah, I mean that's that 1372 01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:15,920 Speaker 3: we're good. 1373 01:04:15,800 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 2: And the end of this episode. So if you love us, 1374 01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:22,000 Speaker 2: make sure to subscribe We love you, and see it 1375 01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:22,400 Speaker 2: now