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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great

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Speaker 1: stories coming up. But before that we get a teeny

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Speaker 1: two minute break from the sponsors that keep the show

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Speaker 1: propped up like a little house. Oh you.

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Speaker 2: My boyfriend's family expected me to buy them gifts until

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Speaker 2: he finally called them out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why you expected so much? Huh.

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Speaker 2: I have been with my boyfriend, who I will call James,

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Speaker 2: for about two years. His family is very big on

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Speaker 2: hosting and throwing celebrations, whereas my family tends to only

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Speaker 2: do large holidays together, which will mostly be centered around

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Speaker 2: food as opposed to gifts. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 2: from a throwaway one six' eight and if you want

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Speaker 2: to submit your own, stories go to the r. Slash,

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Speaker 2: Okay storytime separate it And I'm, Angie.

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Speaker 1: I'm, dakota and we're here to give good.

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Speaker 3: Advice.

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Speaker 2: Goofy we don't have all the, answers come, on we

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Speaker 2: just know what we would do in this, Situation so

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Speaker 2: let us know what you do in the. Comments, so

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Speaker 2: in the past year or, So i've been invited to

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Speaker 2: his sister twenty eight female's, birthday his sister's baby, shower

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Speaker 2: his mom's sixty something female's, birthday his sister's kid's birthday

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Speaker 2: who is too, female his sister's, housewarming his Family's, christmas

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Speaker 2: and a couple of other miscellaneous. Celebrations every TIME i

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Speaker 2: bring a, gift it's to the point Where i've been

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Speaker 2: spending more money on gifts for his family than my

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Speaker 2: own parents and. Siblings, However i've never gotten a gift

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Speaker 2: from his.

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Speaker 3: Family it's not really.

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Speaker 2: Their fault or, intentional as we tend to do our

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Speaker 2: own celebration for my, birthday so there's not really been

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Speaker 2: an opportunity for his family to give me gifts other Than.

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Speaker 2: Christmas but the one sided gift giving is starting to

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Speaker 2: get to. Me i've considered that maybe there isn't an

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Speaker 2: expectation for me to bring a, gift but for most

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Speaker 2: of these Celebrations i'm invited, to it would be very

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Speaker 2: odd not to bring, One for, example like the baby

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Speaker 2: shower and. Birthdays i've considered doing joint gifts with my,

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Speaker 2: boyfriend but his mom also appointedly asked one, time is

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Speaker 2: that the one from ope without me mentioning THAT i

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Speaker 2: had even brought a, gift which made it seem like

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Speaker 2: it was a given THAT.

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Speaker 3: I i should have.

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Speaker 2: Problem to be, CLEAR i don't want or need any

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Speaker 2: gifts from anyone in his. FAMILY i work a decently

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Speaker 2: paying job despite being in a high cost of living,

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Speaker 2: city and my boyfriend AND i are both more financially

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Speaker 2: comfortable for our age than his. Family, however the sheer

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Speaker 2: number of Celebrations i'm being invited to with an unspoken

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Speaker 2: obligation for gifts is starting to build, up especially because

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Speaker 2: it feels a little like the relationship is one, sided

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Speaker 2: As i've never received anything in. Return With christmas coming,

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Speaker 2: UP i wonder IF i should continue bring gifts or

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Speaker 2: use this as an opportunity to work with my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: and change our operating, model or DO i just bring

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Speaker 2: something that's, cheaper like baked goods or chocolates and we

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Speaker 2: do have an. Update some commenteris suggested THAT i was

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Speaker 2: not being appreciative of being invited to family, events SO

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Speaker 2: i thought that MAYBE i was being too. Harsh, well

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Speaker 2: With christmas coming, UP i twenty six, female was invited

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Speaker 2: To christmas with my boyfriend twenty nine males, family but

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Speaker 2: given his sister twenty eight just had her second child

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Speaker 2: with some health, complication we had a conversation and decided

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Speaker 2: that it made sense for me not to join, them

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Speaker 2: As i've been flying a lot for work and don't

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Speaker 2: want to put the newborn at. Risk that made the

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Speaker 2: conversation about doing joint gifts super easy with my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: SINCE i physically wouldn't be. There out of the, blue, yesterday,

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Speaker 2: THOUGH i received a text from my boyfriend's sister reminding

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Speaker 2: me of their house address to ship gifts, too even.

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Speaker 3: Though i've driven there multiple.

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Speaker 2: Times then about an hour, LATER i received a text

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Speaker 2: from my boyfriend's mother telling me about how the sister's,

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Speaker 2: daughter who is a, toddler has been a little upset

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Speaker 2: recently given the new, baby and then it would be

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Speaker 2: great to get the toddler an extra gift to make

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Speaker 2: her feel special since the attention has been on the

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Speaker 2: newboorn on top of WHATEVER i was planning to get the.

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Speaker 2: Newborn this is too, Much this is too.

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Speaker 4: Much like providing for the whole. Family, yeah, well, NO

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Speaker 4: i didn't win the. Lottery even IF i, did, not

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Speaker 4: up to, me just get him a little dollar Store

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Speaker 4: goodwill nick.

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Speaker 1: Knacks, yeah there you, go get, Him get him like

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Speaker 1: one of those little like weird curio.

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Speaker 4: Statues that like grandma's have in their house that always

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Speaker 4: end up like the shelves of like thrift. Stores oh, yeah,

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Speaker 4: yeah just get, them like get them a handful of

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Speaker 4: like uncomfortable to look at.

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Speaker 3: STATUES i don't know If i'm picturing what you're thinking.

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Speaker 4: Of, yeah just like little you know WHAT i, Mean

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Speaker 4: like like like grandma's have little statues of like little guys,

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Speaker 4: things just like little, people little, children like with like

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Speaker 4: an accordion or like a little, cat or like they're

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Speaker 4: at like they're. Fishing, like get some of those weird

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Speaker 4: little chochki curio statues for everyone in the family and be,

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Speaker 4: like this is my gift to, you.

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Speaker 3: The gift she.

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Speaker 2: Did top it off with a you always gift such

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Speaker 2: nice gifts as a nice. Compliment for a, CONTEXT i

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Speaker 2: grew up in a family that taught me not to

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Speaker 2: buy gifts that you wouldn't want to. RECEIVE i bought

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Speaker 2: very nice things for my boyfriend's sisters kids for her daughter's,

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Speaker 2: birthday like, toys plus nice name brand clothing and for

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Speaker 2: the latest baby shower for the new. BORD i brought

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Speaker 2: this to the attention of my, boyfriend and he mentioned

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Speaker 2: that he'd let them know that he was bringing our,

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Speaker 2: gifts BUT i have a feeling that they'll misinterpret that

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Speaker 2: to think that we're still getting separate. Gifts we'll see

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Speaker 2: how it goes next, week But i've been super put

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Speaker 2: off by the text That i've gotten from his. Family

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Speaker 2: it seems pretty blatant that they want gifts from me

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Speaker 2: and are expecting.

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Speaker 3: Them But i'm glad that my boyfriend is planning to.

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Speaker 1: Take care of the.

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Speaker 3: Communication we do have a second.

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Speaker 2: Update but do you think that the boyfriend is actually

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Speaker 2: going to take care of the.

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Speaker 1: COMMUNICATION i don't think.

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Speaker 4: SO i think THAT i think the boyfriend likes the

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Speaker 4: gifts just as much as everyone else.

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Speaker 2: Does, YEAH i don't feel like the boyfriend knows where

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Speaker 2: you're coming from.

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Speaker 4: Here, YEAH i think you're gonna have to be the

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Speaker 4: one to Be, LIKE i, CAN'T i can't really do

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Speaker 4: this because it's just entirely one, Sided, like, yeah what's going?

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Speaker 1: On, LIKE i, CAN'T i can't afford this, Right.

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Speaker 2: LIKE i don't want to ask for, gifts but like

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Speaker 2: at the same, Time i'm freaking. Broke, okay IT'S i

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Speaker 2: feel like you don't have to get a gift for

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend's sister's newborn, child and then her also cut

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Speaker 2: her three year old because she feels left. Out now

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Speaker 2: that the holidays are finally, OVER i thought i'd come

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Speaker 2: here to post an update some new happenings unfolded through

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Speaker 2: the new year THAT i had to deal, with hence the. Delay,

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Speaker 2: CHRISTMAS i texted back to his, family and my boyfriend

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Speaker 2: called his mom and, sister WHICH i didn't. Hear the

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Speaker 2: full conversation of the message he conveyed was that we

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Speaker 2: would bring a joint gift and listed out all the

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Speaker 2: gifts THAT i had given them this, year and pointed

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Speaker 2: out that they neither wished me a happy birthday nor

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Speaker 2: got me a gift For christmas last. Year apparently he

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Speaker 2: was nice about, it and so that he knew money

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Speaker 2: was tight for, them and that we'd be doing joint

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Speaker 2: gifts moving forward so they wouldn't have to worry about

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Speaker 2: a return.

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Speaker 3: Gift this is a very fine arrangement with.

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Speaker 2: Me he hates shopping, anyway so he gave me a

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Speaker 2: budget for each of his family members AND i chose

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Speaker 2: the gifts for. Him he didn't mention to his family

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Speaker 2: THAT i hadn't pitched in any. Money Now CHRISTMAS i

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Speaker 2: had a Lovely christmas with my, family but my.

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Speaker 3: Boyfriend called me at.

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Speaker 2: Noon he told me to ignore any texts THAT i

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Speaker 2: might get from his family and that he would explain

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Speaker 2: when we were.

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Speaker 3: TOGETHER i didn't get anything from them until the.

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Speaker 2: EVENING i got a text from his mom that just

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Speaker 2: said boyfriend's, name will bring back presents from us to.

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Speaker 2: You it would be great if you could come Celebrate

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Speaker 2: New Year's eve with, us as the baby is in

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Speaker 2: stable condition and we will celebrate the baby's. Recovering no

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Speaker 2: need to bring anything for, us just the. BABY i

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Speaker 2: forwarded the message to my. Boyfriend apparently his family had

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Speaker 2: bought me literal dollar store gifts in an attempt for

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Speaker 2: us to keep doing separate gifts that he was refusing

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Speaker 2: to bring back to. Me they wanted to do another

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Speaker 2: celebration On New Year's eve for more gifts for the.

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Speaker 2: Baby my boyfriend told me that he had already told

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Speaker 2: them we weren't. Going it was just minor drama BECAUSE

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Speaker 2: i never had to talk to anyone from his.

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Speaker 3: Family he handled it.

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Speaker 2: All he told them that if they were going to

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Speaker 2: treat me like, that we would no longer be joining their.

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Speaker 2: Celebrations the day After, christmas my boyfriend came over to

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Speaker 2: visit my family For. Christmas my parents still got him a.

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Speaker 2: Gift he immediately felt really bad and we spent most

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Speaker 2: of the day together with my family planning In New

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Speaker 2: Year's eve And New Year's date night between the two of.

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Speaker 1: Us it was.

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Speaker 2: EXCITING i thought that that was the end of, It

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Speaker 2: but Before New year's my boyfriend's mom called him while

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Speaker 2: he was at my place and.

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Speaker 3: Basically started breaking.

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Speaker 2: Down she, said my boyfriend AND i make more than

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Speaker 2: his family, mom, dad, sister and brother in law, combined

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Speaker 2: and apparently the debt of his parents and sister are

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Speaker 2: much larger sums than he had. Assumed apparently they really

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Speaker 2: appreciated my gifts because it felt like a little bit

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Speaker 2: of luxury and what it felt like a life of despair.

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Speaker 3: Given their snowballing.

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Speaker 2: Debt they had too much pride to say anything and

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Speaker 2: basically ended up bullying me about, it which is my boyfriend's,

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Speaker 2: words instead to get things that they. Wanted, apparently he

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Speaker 2: texted his mom about the gift my parents got, him

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Speaker 2: and it made her feel like she was going to

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Speaker 2: lose him to me and my family because of. Money

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend told her that it wasn't about, money it

201
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Speaker 2: was just about treating people with basic. Decency they talked

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Speaker 2: a lot, more but his family has been under a

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Speaker 2: lot of financial stress and, pressure much much more than

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Speaker 2: we had, thought and was a bit spiteful of how

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Speaker 2: much money we earn and wants to. HELP i reflected

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Speaker 2: on all of the comments saying THAT i was being a,

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Speaker 2: doormat AND i think my stance on this is THAT

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Speaker 2: i KNEW i didn't need gifts from.

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Speaker 3: THEM i just wanted a little more.

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Speaker 2: Appreciation SO i was in a little bit of a

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Speaker 2: pickle about what to do BECAUSE i genuinely enjoyed gift

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Speaker 2: giving and picking out, gifts but ALSO i felt LIKE

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Speaker 2: i was being. USED i just wanted them to appreciate the.

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Speaker 2: Gifts maybe that's. PETTY i saw a comment saying that

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Speaker 2: you should never expect anything in return when, Gifting so

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Speaker 2: to those saying that my boyfriend is a, PROBLEM i

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Speaker 2: think this might be a relatively new thing with his

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Speaker 2: family that he's just now. Discovering accumulation is recent over

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Speaker 2: the past two. Years after his sister had her first,

220
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,680
Speaker 2: Skit he's handled it gracefully as it.

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00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,839
Speaker 3: Unraveled we Spent New year's Even New year's with just

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00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:34,880
Speaker 3: the two of. Us it was.

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Speaker 2: Lovely you don't have a resolution on how we will

224
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,719
Speaker 2: deal with his family, yet though he holds strong boundaries

225
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,040
Speaker 2: and won't be giving them any, money but will continue

226
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,440
Speaker 2: to bring gifts for celebrations to his family. Hosts if

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Speaker 2: he's still, invited, well and that's the end of that.

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00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,240
Speaker 4: Story, wow if he's still, invited it doesn't sound like

229
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,560
Speaker 4: a boyfriend. Problem it sounds like boyfriend's family.

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Speaker 2: Problem, absolutely and my poor boyfriend got to deal with

231
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Speaker 2: his boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: FAMILY i think it's time to start getting less high quality.

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00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,600
Speaker 1: Gifts it's time to get the goodwill nick.

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00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,720
Speaker 2: Nags stop giving them all these fancy brands just to

235
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,320
Speaker 2: give them a link to our. Podcast, okay storytime on

236
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Speaker 2: whatever platform you.

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00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:13,680
Speaker 1: Prefer that's the end of that.

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00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,240
Speaker 3: Story we've got another one and come and.

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00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:20,360
Speaker 4: RIGHT i refuse to use my girlfriend's old, car and

240
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,320
Speaker 4: now she says it's.

241
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,560
Speaker 2: Disrespectful how dare you know when to use the car

242
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:24,360
Speaker 2: THAT i don't want to use?

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Speaker 4: Anymore for, background this involves me twenty one, male my,

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00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 4: girlfriend twenty one, female her best friend twenty, female along

245
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,679
Speaker 4: with their online friend twenty two female and the online

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00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,240
Speaker 4: friend's fiance early mid.

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Speaker 1: Thirty they met about two years.

248
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,800
Speaker 4: Ago the online friends day is about six hours away from,

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00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,440
Speaker 4: us as the three of, us, me my, girlfriend and

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00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,400
Speaker 4: girlfriend's best friend all.

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00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,480
Speaker 1: Live pretty close. Together by the, way.

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Speaker 4: This comes from user low contact four four four, eight

253
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,440
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own, stories go

254
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,079
Speaker 4: to the r Slash Showkay, storytime sepate. It I'm, Dakota I'm,

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00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 4: angie and we're here to give good advies, goofly but

256
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:58,800
Speaker 4: we don't.

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00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,360
Speaker 1: Know we don't got all the right. Answers we owe.

258
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,679
Speaker 4: Just a couple of, Goofballs so let us know if

259
00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,600
Speaker 4: you'd do anything different down in the. Comments my girlfriend

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00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:09,600
Speaker 4: is the one who initially met the online, friend and

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00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,480
Speaker 4: then she introduced the online friend to her best. Friend,

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00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 4: also the online friend has a fiance who she lives.

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Speaker 1: With i'll ABBREVIATE gf.

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00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,720
Speaker 4: For, GIRLFRIEND gbf for girlfriend's best, FRIEND off for online friend's,

265
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:26,040
Speaker 4: fiance and LASTLY of for online. Friend, previously girlfriend and

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00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,360
Speaker 4: her best friend have gone on a trip to see

267
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,880
Speaker 4: their online friend about a year ago for a birthday

268
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,520
Speaker 4: party and decided not to stay at a hotel but

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00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,880
Speaker 4: rather at her house to save money and to spend

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00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,080
Speaker 4: more time with. HER i was against sleeping over at

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Speaker 4: online friends because it was online friends fiance is family's,

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Speaker 4: property and they hadn't met in person at this time

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00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,760
Speaker 4: and only knew each other THROUGH vr. Chat, luckily it

274
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Speaker 4: went fine. Enough i'm gonna call Him digitan, said. Okay,

275
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:57,439
Speaker 4: however when girlfriend And digitance were alone in the living,

276
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,439
Speaker 4: room not too far away from the, others he asked

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Speaker 4: my girlfriend something along the line of white man's gonna get.

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00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,440
Speaker 1: You he is, white and he was referring to.

279
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,559
Speaker 4: Himself this really aggravated, me and WHEN i was told about,

280
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:13,600
Speaker 4: this along with being told he was generally creepy and

281
00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:17,400
Speaker 4: gave off bad vibes as well as seeming pretty controlling

282
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,080
Speaker 4: over online friend and what she could, do where or.

283
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,839
Speaker 4: SAY i wanted to go down there with them next

284
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,040
Speaker 4: time to stop anything bad from getting out of.

285
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 1: Hand this isn't the main part of the, issue.

286
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,800
Speaker 4: However come to the present day and the three of, us, me,

287
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,000
Speaker 4: girlfriend and her best friend have been talking about going

288
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,440
Speaker 4: on an After halloween trip to see online friend. Again

289
00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:39,000
Speaker 4: we've been in talks about this trip for at least

290
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,439
Speaker 4: two to three. Months about a week or two before our,

291
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:43,800
Speaker 4: TRIP i was working on getting EVERYTHING i could, together

292
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,960
Speaker 4: including budgeting money for the, trip as her best friend

293
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,880
Speaker 4: ran into financial hardships through no fault of her, own

294
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,760
Speaker 4: so it would be just me and girlfriend funding the.

295
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,439
Speaker 4: Trip as girlfriend insisted for online friend not to worry

296
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,120
Speaker 4: too much about money for our. TRIP i was already

297
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,240
Speaker 4: feeling a little off about the trip at this point

298
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,679
Speaker 4: because it felt LIKE i was the tag along AS

299
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:05,600
Speaker 4: i wasn't aware of the hotel we were staying, at

300
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,600
Speaker 4: even THOUGH i asked multiple times for the. DETAILS i

301
00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,679
Speaker 4: insisted we get a, hotel as girlfriend was asking if

302
00:13:11,679 --> 00:13:15,520
Speaker 4: we could just sleep over At digitansey's place, again WHICH

303
00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,080
Speaker 4: i advised, against citing how girlfriend and girl best friend

304
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,200
Speaker 4: felt uncomfortable sleeping there even if they had connives on

305
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,480
Speaker 4: them while they. SLEPT i was still fine at this,

306
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,920
Speaker 4: point mainly BECAUSE i just wanted to be there to

307
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 4: make sure my girlfriend was safe and could have. Fun

308
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,920
Speaker 4: come a few days, later and the three of us

309
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,720
Speaker 4: had started talking about going to A halloween party before

310
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,520
Speaker 4: the trip on the night Of, halloween WHICH i initially

311
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:39,760
Speaker 4: agreed to go, to but we did not have any

312
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,400
Speaker 4: parties that we knew. About this is where the main issue.

313
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:46,120
Speaker 4: Starts come to the day before the, Trip, halloween and

314
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,760
Speaker 4: it has found out that girl best friend's, car a

315
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,040
Speaker 4: twenty Nineteen, ford the card we were planning on, taking

316
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,240
Speaker 4: had some important maintenance issues that would need to be

317
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,680
Speaker 4: fixed or we couldn't take the. CAR i didn't fault

318
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,880
Speaker 4: best friend for that, either as stuff. Happened my car

319
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,760
Speaker 4: overheated once into an hour long trip with no prior.

320
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:06,160
Speaker 4: Warning girl best friend had a backup, car which is

321
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,840
Speaker 4: a Reliable TOYOTA a twenty TWELVE i, think so it

322
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,960
Speaker 4: wasn't too much of a. Worry girlfriend then offered her

323
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,440
Speaker 4: car as a third, backup a two thousand and One.

324
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,320
Speaker 4: TOYOTA i recommended instead.

325
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,080
Speaker 1: Of her car as a third, backup we could get

326
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:19,560
Speaker 1: a rental.

327
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 4: INSTEAD i researched rentals in the area and found one

328
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,000
Speaker 4: to fit our criteria along with good. Rates WHEN i

329
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,200
Speaker 4: informed girlfriend of the rental how much it would be

330
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,560
Speaker 4: and THAT i would be able to cover all, expenses

331
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 4: along with being able to put the car in my

332
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,880
Speaker 4: name so they wouldn't have to worry about insurance or

333
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,600
Speaker 4: roadside or anything, else she got pretty annoyed at me

334
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,520
Speaker 4: and was insisting THAT i think.

335
00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:42,080
Speaker 1: Her car is a bad. Car well what IF i?

336
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,120
Speaker 3: Do what IF i do think your car's poopy doodoo?

337
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,280
Speaker 3: Car it's the color, Round so what else AM i

338
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:47,800
Speaker 3: supposed to?

339
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,160
Speaker 1: Think, sorry you got a brown? Doodomobile and that her

340
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:51,760
Speaker 1: car was.

341
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:54,960
Speaker 4: FINE i never used those, words and if reiterated her

342
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,760
Speaker 4: car is fine for smaller, trips BUT i don't want

343
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,720
Speaker 4: her to risk it for such a long. TRIP i

344
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:02,400
Speaker 4: asked sure if she had roadside, assistants good tread with

345
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,800
Speaker 4: no dry rotting on her current, tires good, oil and similar.

346
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,160
Speaker 4: Stuff she recently got her oil changed due to her

347
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 4: oil light being, on but we still have to troubleshoot

348
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,960
Speaker 4: what code a check engine light is throwing in her,

349
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 4: car AS i haven't had time to check it for her.

350
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,600
Speaker 4: Yet i'm not a. MECHANIC i just know some not,

351
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 4: all basic car maintenance from dealing with my own car.

352
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,200
Speaker 4: Troubles she insisted her car was fine while stating she

353
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,960
Speaker 4: did not have roadside assistance and that she wouldn't really

354
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,920
Speaker 4: know what to do in the case of a breakdown or.

355
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 4: Accident and note this was all over text in a

356
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,240
Speaker 4: group chat with girl best friend as. Well at some,

357
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 4: Point i'm not sure when it became an, argument AND

358
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,160
Speaker 4: i kept trying to say THAT i just didn't want

359
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 4: to risk her car as she has a one hour

360
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,920
Speaker 4: round trip to work and that is her only viable

361
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,280
Speaker 4: transportation for work due to where we, live unless she

362
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:45,760
Speaker 4: pays for.

363
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,320
Speaker 1: An, uber which that would be.

364
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,720
Speaker 4: Expensive it is also worth noting that the morning of this,

365
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,160
Speaker 4: DAY i had let girl best friend and girlfriend know

366
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 4: THAT i wouldn't be able to go with them to

367
00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,080
Speaker 4: Any halloween parties tonight AS i had to finish, packing

368
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,200
Speaker 4: finalize some costume pieces and other STUFF i didn't feel prepared,

369
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,640
Speaker 4: for such as checking out the town we would be staying,

370
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,240
Speaker 4: in as they made jokes or references to sundown towns

371
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,960
Speaker 4: close to where we would be. Staying after a period

372
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 4: of not texting until the, EVENING i reached out and

373
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,280
Speaker 4: Asked girl best friend if there was any update to

374
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,720
Speaker 4: the car, situation for WHICH i was told that girl

375
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,440
Speaker 4: best friend and girlfriend weren't worried about that tonight as

376
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 4: they were trying to go to A halloween party For halloween,

377
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,080
Speaker 4: night and that we would worry about what was going

378
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,480
Speaker 4: on with the car situation tomorrow, morning which was when

379
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,960
Speaker 4: we were supposed to leave. Buddy it just sounds like

380
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 4: these girls are, like now we're, chilling it'll be, Fine

381
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 4: it'll be. Fine you put that out in the universe

382
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,880
Speaker 4: and it'll be. Fine and you're, like what if it's?

383
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,520
Speaker 4: Not but what if it's, not we need to figure

384
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,280
Speaker 4: it out right, now.

385
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,200
Speaker 2: Like all those like TYPE b friend videos where they

386
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,880
Speaker 2: just don't plan anything at.

387
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,400
Speaker 1: All, YEAH i mean really, like neither of you are.

388
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,440
Speaker 4: Wrong it's LIKE i also agree with, like we'll figure

389
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 4: that out if we need to figure it.

390
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,000
Speaker 1: Out, Yeah and it also pays to be.

391
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,200
Speaker 4: PREPARED i think maybe you guys just have a little

392
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,360
Speaker 4: bit of incompatibility in the way y'all.

393
00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,440
Speaker 1: Travel that's really.

394
00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,520
Speaker 4: It This it's made me really uncomfortable as it felt

395
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 4: like this was to last, minute AND i can get

396
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,080
Speaker 4: anxious when plans are falling through or uncertain this close

397
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,480
Speaker 4: to big. TRIPS i tried reaching out to girlfriend at this,

398
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 4: point asking if we could meet in person to talk really,

399
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,440
Speaker 4: quick or if she could call. ME i was ignored

400
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 4: until about half an hour. Later it's about ten at

401
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 4: night at this. POINT i was then told that she

402
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,159
Speaker 4: was driving and to not text her as they were

403
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,240
Speaker 4: heading to A halloween party with girl best. FRIEND i

404
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,640
Speaker 4: started panicking at this, point AS i had no clue

405
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,760
Speaker 4: what car we were going to, take AND i felt

406
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,400
Speaker 4: LIKE i was the only one who was worried about.

407
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,520
Speaker 4: It once they arrived at the party about an hour,

408
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 4: later she essentially stated that IF i want to get a,

409
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 4: rental THEN i should get, it SINCE i think her

410
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 4: car is so. Terrible she also said that she didn't

411
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 4: ask me to try to do all of. This this

412
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 4: hurt me SINCE i felt LIKE i was trying to.

413
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,920
Speaker 4: Help long story, Short after, THIS i STATED i couldn't

414
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:51,040
Speaker 4: go anymore and that the lack of planning before this

415
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,200
Speaker 4: trip made me too nervous and off put to. Go

416
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 4: one thing that stuck out to me was WHEN i

417
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 4: asked why she didn't try to help figure out a

418
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,000
Speaker 4: plan for. Tomorrow she stated they, did but she only

419
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,399
Speaker 4: offered her car as a third, backup but that it

420
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,639
Speaker 4: would be almost guaranteed not to be.

421
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: NEEDED i, asked.

422
00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 4: If it was almost guaranteed not to be, needed why

423
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,119
Speaker 4: offer it and why get mad at me for offering

424
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,119
Speaker 4: an objectively better third option for something that wouldn't be.

425
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,399
Speaker 4: Needed she stated THAT i was disrespecting her car and

426
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,160
Speaker 4: that she worked hard to get. It she previously had

427
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,919
Speaker 4: another car but lost it in a freak accident that

428
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,600
Speaker 4: wasn't her, fault also stating that it was her greatest

429
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,760
Speaker 4: achievement and to basically not ever talk down about her.

430
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 4: CAR i think your movie or buddy was like to

431
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,000
Speaker 4: pivot and be, like, oh your, CAR i love your.

432
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 4: Car your car gets you to work every. Day, Yeah

433
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,960
Speaker 4: and that's really Where i'm coming from IS i just don't,

434
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 4: want you, know this trip to put strain on your

435
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,320
Speaker 4: car and then you can't take it to.

436
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 2: WORK i don't think that's a great. POINT i just

437
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 2: want to take care of your, car that's.

438
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,159
Speaker 1: All. Yeah it's not about your car's not good enough for.

439
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 1: Us IT'S i just it pays to be.

440
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 4: CAREFUL i felt hurt by this, too as we have

441
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,199
Speaker 4: been dating for two years now AND i helped her

442
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,280
Speaker 4: as much AS i could to get back on her

443
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,639
Speaker 4: feet and get the car she. Has, NOW i feel

444
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,600
Speaker 4: like she has disregarded all of that and ASSUMED i

445
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,560
Speaker 4: was trying to talk down on her.

446
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: CAR i feel Like i'm in the.

447
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,800
Speaker 4: Right but since they left AND i heard from, girlfriend

448
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,360
Speaker 4: they have had to cut out activities they, planned including

449
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 4: not staying at the hotel for a third, night but

450
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 4: instead sleeping back over At digitance's home again for the

451
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 4: third night due to the lack of funds that me

452
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,879
Speaker 4: not going. CAUSED i am not sure what to do,

453
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,320
Speaker 4: now as we agreed to talk this out in, person

454
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 4: But i'm questioning If i'm even in the right at

455
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 4: this point or IF i was the a hole? Here

456
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,719
Speaker 4: SO i must ask AM i the a? Hole and

457
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 4: that is the end of that. STORY i don't really

458
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 4: think anyone's an a hole, here to be. HONEST i

459
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 4: think girlfriend was, probably you, know was not wrong in

460
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 4: feeling a little frustrated or. UPSET i think we just

461
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 4: failed in our execution of like communicating and de. ESCALATING

462
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,160
Speaker 4: i do think backing out of the trip was the wrong,

463
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,199
Speaker 4: move BUT i don't think you did it to be

464
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 4: like a contentious a.

465
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,880
Speaker 1: Hole you, Know you're just an anxious. Traveler and that's.

466
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 5: The end of this. Story we're gonna go on to

467
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:06,680
Speaker 5: the next.

468
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 2: One may ex said she loved, me then started dating

469
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 2: another guy a week.

470
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,560
Speaker 1: Later oh my. God.

471
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,480
Speaker 2: Oh my partner AND i have been living separately Since

472
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,639
Speaker 2: august of last. Year there was a lot of fighting

473
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 2: in our last year. Together it was never Physical no one,

474
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,920
Speaker 2: cheated just a lot of, disagreements arguments and. Miscommunication by the,

475
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 2: way this comes From, hey It's charles twelve ninety, six

476
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own.

477
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 3: Stories go to the r Slash okay Story. Times supread it.

478
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,440
Speaker 2: And I'm, Angie I'm, dakota and we're here to give

479
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 2: good advice. Gooefully but we don't have all the. Answers

480
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 2: we just know what we would do in these. Situations

481
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do in the.

482
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,240
Speaker 2: Comments it boiled over into one explosive day where they

483
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 2: were kicked out by my parents as we lived in

484
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: one section of the house where my parents lived in the.

485
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 2: Other our fight got so loud and many hurtful words were,

486
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,959
Speaker 2: said and, ultimately due to them already planning on, leaving

487
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: my parents had their dad come and get. Them the

488
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 2: argument startart because she was moving to her mom's In.

489
00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:04,920
Speaker 2: Florida AS i, said we had been fighting a lot

490
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 2: and things were really tense between. Us she had just

491
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 2: gotten back from visiting her mom when the fight. Happened

492
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,160
Speaker 2: before the, fight she had been talking to others about

493
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:14,760
Speaker 2: her moving and had told me.

494
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,239
Speaker 3: Not to say anything to.

495
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 2: Anyone WHEN i found out she had been telling our

496
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 2: mutual friends about her leaving and speaking to her mom about.

497
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,199
Speaker 2: IT i ended up speaking to my parents about it for.

498
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,880
Speaker 2: Advice when she found out THAT i, had she grew

499
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 2: extremely angry said that it wasn't my place to say

500
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 2: anything to. Anyone but in my, defense why was she

501
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 2: allowed to talk and tell people and get? Advice AND

502
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 2: i had to just sit in silence and not talk

503
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 2: about how the love of my life.

504
00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 3: Was leaving AND i couldn't stop.

505
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,639
Speaker 2: THEM i wasn't allowed to say anything while she was

506
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,159
Speaker 2: telling everyone that she was.

507
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: Leaving it hurt in a.

508
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 2: Way it felt like she wanted me to be silent

509
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 2: because if she changed her, mind no one on my

510
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: side had question. It but HERE i was being told

511
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 2: THAT i wasn't enough and told to just sit with.

512
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 2: It we broke up and they have since been living

513
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: with their mother In. Florida after a long and hard

514
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,239
Speaker 2: peer we started talking again at the end of The

515
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 2: october last. Year while we never officially got back, together

516
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 2: we weren't seeing anyone, else we talked and facetimed every day,

517
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,840
Speaker 2: truly beginning In. January i've gone to see them In February,

518
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,760
Speaker 2: june and finally In, SEPTEMBER i paid for a hotel,

519
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,119
Speaker 2: room paid for a rental car as a second time

520
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: as they allowed me to stay with, them and then

521
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: for a hotel room again In. SEPTEMBER i buy them

522
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,920
Speaker 2: food and gifts every chance i'm able. To some GIFTS

523
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 2: i buy with plans to mail. Them other times it's

524
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,919
Speaker 2: sending them money so they could buy themselves something. Nice

525
00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: i've always been willing to help encourage and push them.

526
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 2: Forward i've also been very forward with wanting us to

527
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 2: talk and communicate about our breakup and how we can

528
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaker 2: work through these emotions.

529
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 3: TOGETHER i was not.

530
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,959
Speaker 2: PERFECT i had a lot of self hate WHEN i

531
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 2: THOUGHT i was punishing myself at, TIMES i in turn

532
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,400
Speaker 2: was unknowingly hurting them. TOO i let my self hatred

533
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 2: grow louder than the love that we, shared and the

534
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 2: guilt of that weighs on my shoulders like a lifeless

535
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: body that won't release.

536
00:22:58,680 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 1: Its grip on.

537
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 3: ME i would love to unpack your feelings right.

538
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 1: There, yeah holy crab's that's, uh that's. Vivid that is.

539
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: Vivid On thursday today Being, sunday they got really mad

540
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,639
Speaker 2: at me because we were playing a game together AND

541
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 2: i got overwhelmed due to both having, smoked hearing.

542
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: The blam the, blams the, blams the, blombs the, blooms hearing.

543
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 2: All that in the, game and them yelling that they

544
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 2: were being. INTACT i, said, WELL i don't know what

545
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,040
Speaker 2: to tell you about. THAT i don't, KNOW i don't

546
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 2: know where they. Are it was sharp and, pointed but

547
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,840
Speaker 2: IMMEDIATELY i realized how it. SOUNDED i asked right away

548
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: if they were, upset and THEN i did not mean

549
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:35,360
Speaker 2: for it to come out that, way AS i could

550
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:36,320
Speaker 2: see how it could.

551
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 3: Have been seen as an f you kind of.

552
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 2: STATEMENT i heavily apologized for it and said it over

553
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 2: and over THAT i didn't mean for it to come

554
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 2: out that. Way they stayed mad and upset and started

555
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,720
Speaker 2: to say THAT i won't ever.

556
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 3: Change oh my, god.

557
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 4: No this really so clearly reads like it's, like clearly

558
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 4: your partner is able to get away with anything under the,

559
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 4: sun and you have to worry about saying like.

560
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: A word, wrong, yeah or it's like it creates like a.

561
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 2: Catastrophe they said THAT i won't treat them with respect

562
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,080
Speaker 2: like a, person that they are an idiot of thinking

563
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,880
Speaker 2: THAT i would ever change and would be a good

564
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,160
Speaker 2: partner for. Them we ended up having a, long almost

565
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 2: four hour talk that went back and, forth with them

566
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 2: saying THAT i needed to understand the hurt from our

567
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 2: past and that they don't mean to be mean to,

568
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 2: me but that they are hurt and can't trust THAT i.

569
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 3: Won't hurt them again in the.

570
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 2: Future i've reassured them told them THAT i have been,

571
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: changing which they've both, acknowledged and then said that the

572
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,200
Speaker 2: changes either aren't happening fast enough or not in the right,

573
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 2: places but they won't tell me WHERE i need to

574
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 2: change BECAUSE i need to figure it. OUT i don't

575
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 2: call them, NAMES i don't belittle them outside of their

576
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: Mom i've been there fighting for them while everyone else

577
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 2: discarded them or don't talk to. THEM i push them

578
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,959
Speaker 2: to go after their dreams and back them and support

579
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,439
Speaker 2: them into whatever they. DO i want the best for,

580
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 2: them and IF i can provide that through, money, love

581
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 2: or whatever they, NEED i will do. It we went

582
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 2: to bed on FaceTime thursday, night me thinking that we

583
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: actually had a real heart heart talk because we both

584
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 2: seem to finally understand one another and both expressed that

585
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 2: we wanted this to.

586
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,760
Speaker 3: Work friday, morning the call had hung, up which is.

587
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 2: NORMAL i texted them good, morning and then throughout the

588
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 2: DAY i messaged to no. Response it wasn't until that

589
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 2: night THAT i realized they had blocked me on, everything, calls,

590
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 2: texts face. Calling all of it was, gone no, goodbye no,

591
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:21,360
Speaker 2: anything everything in me. SANK i did initially text their

592
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 2: mom if everything was okay due to not hearing from,

593
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 2: them and she said that it was and that they

594
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 2: just seemed to be dealing with not feeling good and

595
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 2: on their. Period she didn't seem to know that we

596
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 2: had that talk or, night and just thought that they

597
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 2: were not feeling. Good she said if something was going,

598
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,520
Speaker 2: on that things may just need a breather because they

599
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 2: do love, me and that she has rooted for. Us

600
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 2: when we finally talked On, saturday they told me that

601
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 2: they've been an idiot to think THAT i would, change

602
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,400
Speaker 2: and that they are done with. Me they don't want

603
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 2: to be with, me they haven't been happy being with

604
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 2: me for a long, time and that they are tired.

605
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 3: Of waiting for me to. CHANGE i begged, them told them.

606
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: THAT i am that their own words stated THAT i am,

607
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,239
Speaker 2: changing that they have said that they are, happy and

608
00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 2: that we are going down a better route That this

609
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 2: past year we have laughed and talked and communicated more

610
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 2: than we did the last year we were living. Together

611
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 2: they have still stated that they are, done THAT i

612
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 2: am not worth waiting to change for BECAUSE i won't.

613
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 4: Change, ah, Buddy it's like ALL i know how to, Say,

614
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 4: BUDDY i don't think you have to.

615
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: CHANGE i don't think you.

616
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 2: Do my breath is, caught my heart is, hurting and

617
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,480
Speaker 2: yes it is, fresh and, yes people will say you'll

618
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 2: love someone, else but there is no one. Else no

619
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 2: one loved me like they, did no one accepted me

620
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: like they. DID i just want them to see to

621
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 2: break through the pain and hurt they hold inside themselves

622
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: for not just, me but the others that hurt them

623
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 2: in their, life and see that out of, EVERYONE i

624
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: am here changing because they are worth changing. For please any,

625
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,480
Speaker 2: advice any, help or, encouragement anything to help me break

626
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 2: through to. Them we have an update and the first line, says,

627
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,760
Speaker 2: well we broke, up but before we read the rest.

628
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 4: Of, That, yeah that's my, advice my, guy that that

629
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 4: would be my advice.

630
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: Entirely is it's time to move on to greener.

631
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 2: Pastures, yeah when you, say you just want them to

632
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 2: see to break through the pain and hurt that they

633
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 2: hold inside themselves for not just, me but the others

634
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 2: that hurt them in. LIFE i think that says a

635
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 2: lot right. There you're trying to change yourself so that

636
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: they can. CHANGE i think that's If i'm assuming, Correctly

637
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,800
Speaker 2: like it maybe seems like you think that if you just,

638
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,520
Speaker 2: change then like their hurt will go away and they.

639
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 3: Will get better and they will. Change but you said

640
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 3: it right.

641
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 2: THERE i mean they need to break through that, pain

642
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: and you kind of got to do that on your.

643
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 4: Own, yeah, DEFINITELY i. DON'T i don't think it's gonna be. Happening,

644
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 4: yeah while you're. Together clearly whatever she's going through is

645
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,320
Speaker 4: you know saying like oh, yeah CLEARLY i would act

646
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 4: this way because, LIKE i can't trust that you're not

647
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:54,719
Speaker 4: gonna hurt.

648
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 1: Me it's like you're. Not you, can't it's not it's

649
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: never gonna. Work, yeah.

650
00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 2: Exactly it's, like, well if you're getting hurt by this,

651
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,320
Speaker 2: stuff like that's not on, me that's on.

652
00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 1: You you can't you can't live in.

653
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 3: Fear we do have her update, Here, well we broke

654
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 3: up after that.

655
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 2: Post she reached back out and we started talking. Again

656
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 2: she said she loved, Me she said she wanted to

657
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,959
Speaker 2: work it, out made plans for me to see her At.

658
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 2: Christmas then Over halloween weekend she went out with. Friends

659
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,920
Speaker 2: one of those friends was a guy that she mentioned

660
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: had asked her out, previously but she turned him down,

661
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 2: because in her, words he isn't what she. Wants he

662
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 2: asked her again this Past, sunday and this time she said.

663
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 3: Yes keep in mind that we.

664
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 2: Had spent the whole time sending Me schmeckshi, pictures Making christmas,

665
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: plans buying her dinner and, lunch and having FaceTime spicy,

666
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 2: activities and worst of, all she said she loved me

667
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: and still wanted to be with. ME i also would

668
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 2: be willing to bet that like this whole because they

669
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 2: were together and then broke, up but then we're also

670
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 2: still like living apart but talking all the, time but

671
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 2: like still broken up and then back. TOGETHER i don't,

672
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 2: Know it's kind of a messy, timeline BUT i honestly

673
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 2: would be willing to bet, that like she's been cheating

674
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,600
Speaker 2: on you this whole. Time LOVE i had has turned

675
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 2: into anger and, sickness and, yes still some LOVE i

676
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: have shame in myself for.

677
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 3: Believing THAT i could break through to.

678
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 2: HER i told her that she's going to hurt that

679
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 2: guy because she herself doesn't know what she. Wants she

680
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 2: keeps reaching back out to, me texting me and calling.

681
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 3: Me she even joined.

682
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,320
Speaker 2: My fortnite game the other day before suddenly jumping. OFF

683
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: i told her that she needs to figure her crop

684
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,719
Speaker 2: out and THAT i have nothing more to talk to her.

685
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 2: About she has to figure out her, stuff go to,

686
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 2: therapy take her, meds and actually try to be better

687
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: instead of wearing a.

688
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 3: Mask she called me a prick.

689
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 2: Just because she was just trying to give me, Closure

690
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 2: BUT i think we both know that that isn't what

691
00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 2: she was. WANTING i do still love, her and this

692
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: pain hurts so, much BUT i can't let her be

693
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: awful to me anymore just because she can't face her own.

694
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 2: Trauma and that's the end of that. Story and you're

695
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: so right about, that my. Guy that is.

696
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 4: True you are not the. Lynchpin you are not the

697
00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 4: trigger for her fixing. Herself she, yeah she's the only,

698
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 4: one and who can do?

699
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 5: That and that's the end of this. Story we're going

700
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 5: to go on to the next.

701
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: One, hey It's. Sam we're going to get back to these.

702
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 1: Stories but here's three minutes of ads from our.

703
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 4: SPONSORS i refused to host my daughter's wedding because her

704
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 4: mom would be.

705
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 3: There how very Is.

706
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 4: Shakespearean i'm in a pretty bad situation right. Now when

707
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,120
Speaker 4: my stepdaughter got married two years, ago she used our

708
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: home as the wedding. Venue we have a meadow in

709
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,239
Speaker 4: our backyard that is able to accommodate a large number of,

710
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 4: people as well as a, empty clean barn that can

711
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 4: be set up for dinner. Tables by the, way this

712
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,120
Speaker 4: comes from user wedding home. Question and if you want

713
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 4: to submit your own, stories go to the r slash okay.

714
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: Story i'm subret, It I'm, dakota.

715
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 4: And I'm, riley and we are here to give you

716
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 4: good advice, ruefully but we don't have all the. Answers

717
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,160
Speaker 4: we only know what we'd, Do so if you'd do something,

718
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 4: else let us know in the. Comments And op, says

719
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,680
Speaker 4: my daughter was supposed to marry at another location last,

720
00:30:56,760 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 4: year but because of the, pandemic the venue shut down.

721
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 4: Permanently she's now asked to use my home for the.

722
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 4: Wedding BUT i told.

723
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,280
Speaker 1: Her my issue with.

724
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 4: THEM i had a restraining order against her, mother my,

725
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 4: ex and a few members of her family after threats

726
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 4: and intimidation were directed towards my wife and. Myself the

727
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 4: restraining order expired mid last, year but we haven't heard

728
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 4: from them, since BUT i stayed.

729
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 1: Firm in my.

730
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 4: Decision this has upset my daughter greatly and she has

731
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 4: screamed at, me which she's never. DONE i offered to

732
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 4: give her fifteen thousand dollars for an alternative, venue but

733
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 4: now she's adamant about it being our. HOME i feel

734
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 4: extremely uncomfortable giving my ex and her family access to

735
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:49,600
Speaker 4: my home because that's where the washrooms will. Be my

736
00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 4: daughter has put this issue On facebook AND i now

737
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 4: have all of my extended family against. Me this has

738
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 4: also stirred up my ax and her family against, me

739
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 4: and were is that my wife and stepdaughter are now

740
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 4: being accused of trying to ruin my daughter's wedding when

741
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 4: they haven't played any part in. It, dude your family

742
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 4: sounds so. Difficult, yeah, immediately your daughter can't understand that

743
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 4: you have a restraining order on your ex wife and

744
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 4: her family or had one that's not.

745
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:22,880
Speaker 1: You Get, yeah it.

746
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 6: Takes that takes, Paperwork it takes.

747
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 1: Time you don't just get. It, yeah you things have to.

748
00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 7: Happen it's fine in restraining orders on the.

749
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 4: Ground, Yeah i'm planning on giving in and letting my

750
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,200
Speaker 4: daughter use our home for the wedding later this, year

751
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 4: But i'm going to tell my wife and stepdaughter not

752
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 4: to be around for, it Which i'm sure is going

753
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 4: to create a bunch of other.

754
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 1: Issues AM i THE a? Hole and no you are? Not?

755
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,640
Speaker 4: Clearly, yeah, NO i think you probably tried your best

756
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 4: to explain to your.

757
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 1: Daughter. Uh, YEAH i have.

758
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 4: A restraining order against your mom for a reason and her.

759
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 4: FAMILY i don't want them in our.

760
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: House because there were threads. Made, yeah and that's.

761
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 7: The last PLACE i don't want anybody to have my

762
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 7: home address if threads have been.

763
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: Made, right not the a let's read these.

764
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:14,320
Speaker 4: Comments addep to one eight point nine says not the

765
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 4: ale go renew the restraining order if your ex and

766
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 4: her family are pestering you and explain to your daughter

767
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,640
Speaker 4: that she can either have the wedding at your home

768
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 4: without her mother and her side of the, family or

769
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 4: she can or she can accept the FIFTEEN k and

770
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 4: have it, elsewhere but for personal safety.

771
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: Reasons you will not let her mother into your. Home,

772
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,800
Speaker 1: otherwise rent.

773
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,479
Speaker 4: Portapatties they have some super fancy ones for wedding, venues

774
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 4: trailers that don't look or smell like porta potties that

775
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 4: have a. Washroom opie, SAYS i won't be renewing this

776
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 4: restraining order BECAUSE i don't have any real standing this.

777
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 4: TIME i also don't want to renew it BECAUSE i

778
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 4: do want to attend my daughter's wedding without causing any.

779
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 4: Issues but the outdoor bathrooms are an excellent. IDEA i

780
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 4: have texted the idea to my. DAUGHTER pbc eighty five,

781
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 4: says not the a. Hole but how is it that

782
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 4: you raised your presumably adult daughter in such a way

783
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 4: that when you don't give her what she, wants she screams.

784
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: At you and goes off on you On?

785
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 4: Facebook and why do you now think the right thing

786
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,959
Speaker 4: to do is to give into her antics by letting

787
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 4: her do the wedding at your? House after, all my

788
00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 4: own daughter just got married AND i provided financial. Support

789
00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 4: if she had screamed at me about anything related to the,

790
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 4: wedding you can.

791
00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:33,200
Speaker 1: Be sure that financial support would have been.

792
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 4: Withdrawn my daughter has never raised her voice at, me

793
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 4: BUT i can only imagine that other family members are

794
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 4: riling her. Up she also posted something On facebook that

795
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 4: didn't explicitly blame, me but my own sister made it

796
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 4: into a circus that involved my ex in her. FAMILY

797
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 4: i feel bad that my daughter is put under all

798
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 4: this stress due to my ex and my. Issues and

799
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,000
Speaker 4: we do have an. UPDATE i message my daughter about

800
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 4: the outdoor trailer brooms and she has refused and said

801
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 4: it was a disgusting.

802
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: Idea you're having your wedding in a? Barn it.

803
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 3: Is it is a weird line to draw on this.

804
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 4: Sand she then accused me of treating her worse than

805
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 4: my stepdaughter there it, is and THAT i play favorites

806
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 4: And i'm a terrible. Father she does not want the

807
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,560
Speaker 4: wedding at our home anymore and hung. Up she is

808
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 4: no longer picking up my. CALLS i got an angry

809
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 4: call from my mother who says she is hosting her

810
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 4: wedding instead and THAT i will not be welcomed at the.

811
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 4: Wedding my father will be walking my daughter down the

812
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 4: aisle instead of.

813
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 1: Me thanks to everyone for the.

814
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,279
Speaker 4: ADVICE i appreciate, it BUT i feel Like i've made

815
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 4: the biggest mistake of my. Life i'm completely. Heartbroken and

816
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 4: there is another, update.

817
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,719
Speaker 1: Hopefully it involves him going to the. Wedding because your

818
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:50,880
Speaker 1: daughter's being a butt head right. Now this is so.

819
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 4: Sad my daughter's wedding took place In october of last,

820
00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 4: year and after a few months of my daughter refusing

821
00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 4: to talk to, me my wife saw HOW i was

822
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 4: being a feed by the situation and SAID i should

823
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 4: just let my daughter use our home without any, restrictions

824
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 4: that we should.

825
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:07,319
Speaker 1: Lock up our valuables and hope for the.

826
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 4: BEST i was extremely, hesitant but at my wife's, INSISTENCE

827
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 4: i arranged a meeting at my mother's home and made the.

828
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 1: OFFER i was immediately told that it was too late.

829
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 4: And that the new invitations were already sent out and

830
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 4: the wedding would be happening at my mother's, property but

831
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,239
Speaker 4: my daughter asked for the fifteen thousand DOLLARS i originally

832
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 4: offered for an alternative venue to be used to renovate

833
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 4: my mother's home a little for the. WEDDING i just

834
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 4: accepted that this was the best it was going to

835
00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:33,440
Speaker 4: get and gave her the.

836
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: Money my daughter still.

837
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,719
Speaker 4: Didn't warm up to me after this and would only

838
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 4: reply to texts. Occasionally then a month before the, WEDDING

839
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,279
Speaker 4: i was told to come to the wedding without my.

840
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 4: Wife my daughter said that similar to how my wife

841
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,359
Speaker 4: AND i, felt her mother and some members of her

842
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 4: maternal family felt uncomfortable being around us due to the

843
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:57,439
Speaker 4: expired restraining. Order she said she was willing to fight

844
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 4: them to have her father at the, wedding but my

845
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 4: my wife's stepdaughter and her husband were not.

846
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 1: INVITED i was incredibly.

847
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,000
Speaker 4: DISAPPOINTED i wanted to confront my daughter and potentially not

848
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 4: go to the wedding.

849
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 1: At all if my wife wasn't, invited but my wife

850
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: said that.

851
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 4: There's too much bad blood AND i should just attend

852
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:16,840
Speaker 4: the wedding quietly for the sake of my.

853
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 1: DAUGHTER i ended up.

854
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 4: Attending the wedding alone and left once dinner was, done

855
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 4: WHILE i got to see my daughter get. Married my

856
00:37:24,120 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 4: heart feels heavy that it was such a conflict filled.

857
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 4: Situation even having me walking her down the aisle became

858
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,840
Speaker 4: such a touchy subject that she just ended up having

859
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 4: her half brother walker down the aisle. Instead WHEN i

860
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 4: went to congratulate my daughter BEFORE i, left she angrily

861
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 4: told me that she should have Just elope because of

862
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 4: me and my, ex and that it's disgusting that her

863
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 4: own parents ruined every aspect of her, wedding that she

864
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 4: can't wait to build a life separate from. EVERYONE i

865
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 4: apologized and cried on my way. Home, dude she know

866
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 4: that you've done absolutely your best and the right thing

867
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,120
Speaker 4: and your, Daughter, yeah probably got a lot of stuff

868
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:08,480
Speaker 4: wrapped up in you, know the, divorce the, split the.

869
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 4: REUSTRATING i know there's a lot of stuff that we're

870
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 4: not getting info on, here a lot.

871
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 7: Of moving, parts, yep and they're not moving in a

872
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 7: direction THAT i.

873
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,439
Speaker 1: Like but you did.

874
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,240
Speaker 4: Good you did what you should have, Done you did

875
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 4: what you could have. DONE a part of me is

876
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 4: happy that my daughter is still somewhat talking to, me

877
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 4: BUT i do regret putting her under so much.

878
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: Stress it's not her fault her parents can't get.

879
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 4: Along i'm just hopeful that we can slowly start repairing our.

880
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:39,600
Speaker 4: Relationship and there's a third. Update it's from the daughter's.

881
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 4: Perspective oh good, job dad found Your reddit.

882
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: POST i hope all the validation was worth, it because

883
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: you are never going to see me or my baby.

884
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 1: Again but who.

885
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 4: CARES a bunch Of internet strangers think you are the

886
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,400
Speaker 4: hero And i'm an evil money hungry which that's not

887
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 4: HOW i took that at. ALL i thought he was

888
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 4: just a guy trying his, best and you know you

889
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 4: are just a hurt person with your own.

890
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: Trauma but this.

891
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 4: Doesn't sound like it's gonna be a good. ENDING i

892
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 4: hope you're real. Happy not only was my wedding, miserable

893
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,920
Speaker 4: since you And mom, divorced my whole life has. Been

894
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,080
Speaker 4: you want to talk about how horrible she. Is, yeah you're,

895
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 4: right she, is but so were. You you always put

896
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 4: me in a position WHERE i felt that even staying

897
00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 4: the slightest positive thing about her would get me in.

898
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,920
Speaker 4: Trouble my birthdays were horrible because you both could not

899
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 4: grow up and BEHAVE i hate my birthdays now BECAUSE

900
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 4: i can only remember you screaming at each. Other you

901
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 4: never cared about. Me you cared about hurting her. MORE

902
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 4: i tried to be so. UNDERSTANDING i always told myself

903
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:49,880
Speaker 4: that my mom was, worse but, no you are horrible.

904
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 4: Too you made me feel a second class citizen at.

905
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,440
Speaker 4: Home you showed my stepsister so much more love and

906
00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 4: care than you did. Me you know how much it

907
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:01,400
Speaker 4: hurts seeing you accommodate every wish at her? Wedding do

908
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 4: you know how much it hurt when you basically laughed

909
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,040
Speaker 4: in my face WHEN i asked for the. Same you

910
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:09,239
Speaker 4: are not the polite martyr that you made everyone believe you.

911
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 1: Are i'm done with.

912
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 7: You this shouldn't be happening in a Public reddit forum

913
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:16,600
Speaker 7: at this.

914
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: Point it, Really, uh this needs to be a.

915
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:19,920
Speaker 3: Talk this needs to.

916
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:23,160
Speaker 7: Be an email LIKE I i'm imagining sipping my little

917
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 7: Tea Beyon reddit Like tuesday, Afternoon i'm, Like, OH i

918
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:26,800
Speaker 7: shouldn't be seeing.

919
00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:31,359
Speaker 1: This, no no one should be SEEING i. Really you, know.

920
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 4: It's hard to get a fake restraining. ORDER i think

921
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 4: once threats of violence are levied at me and my

922
00:40:39,640 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 4: family or my new you, Know i'm gonna take whatever

923
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,240
Speaker 4: STEPS i need to take to protect myself and. THEM

924
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 4: i would say it's unfortunate that your parents couldn't go,

925
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 4: parent but it sounds like it maybe didn't start with your.

926
00:40:54,960 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: Dad but, hey you can feel however you. Feel we

927
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: don't have all the.

928
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 4: Answers we're only seeing a tiny crack of context on

929
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 4: A reddit.

930
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 1: Post, okay let's finish this.

931
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,760
Speaker 4: STORY i was done with you when you kept making

932
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 4: remarks at my. WEDDING i was done with you when

933
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,879
Speaker 4: you basically screamed at me for not inviting your wife

934
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 4: and her.

935
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: Daughter they don't feel like, family and neither do.

936
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 7: You.

937
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: Now oh, Yeah i'm expecting that was a.

938
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 4: SURPRISE i was thinking of calling, you but after seeing your,

939
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 4: POST i don't want. To my therapist says that you

940
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 4: and my mother are the cause for my childhood. Trauma

941
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 4: that's pretty much everyone's, parents. Right, anyways this, YEAR i

942
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 4: will cut out toxic. People if you care so much

943
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 4: about the, money i'll mail the check to. You i'm

944
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 4: done with, you with your wife and your daughter that

945
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 4: you love so. Much don't, Worry i'm.

946
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: Also done with your.

947
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 4: Ex hope you're, happy AND i hope that reddit karma

948
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:53,279
Speaker 4: is a good substitute for.

949
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: Me oh, wait you actually care for reddit. Karma, yeah

950
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 1: that's the end of that. Story i'm sure she'll come.

951
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 6: Around it'll be, fine he'll work it.

952
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 4: Out just a lot going on with family tension and

953
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 4: then the divorce and then the step daughter slash, duh you,

954
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 4: know with half.

955
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:17,080
Speaker 1: Sister whatever you want to it's.

956
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 7: Yeah whenever you start getting more and more characters and you're, Like,

957
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,959
Speaker 7: okay everybody just needs to take a step.

958
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 4: Back, well it just sounds like it's, like, YEAH i

959
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 4: don't want you, KNOW i didn't want your mom coming

960
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 4: into the house Because i'm afraid she's gonna put arsenic

961
00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: in the. Tea, yes you, know like what you know

962
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,600
Speaker 4: that's but, yeah let that be a lesson in co.

963
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,799
Speaker 6: Parenting, no no arsenic in the.

964
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 4: Tea no arsenic in the. Tea and if you guys

965
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 4: could have co, parented which who's possible to say who's

966
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 4: fault it really? IS i feel like it's maybe anyone's

967
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 4: fault in, particular maybe everyone's. Fault but uh yeah without

968
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 4: with co, parenting this would have never.

969
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 5: Happened and that's the end of. This we're going to

970
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:01,359
Speaker 5: go on to the next.

971
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:05,160
Speaker 7: One my father threatened to make me, homeless SO i.

972
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,719
Speaker 4: Left well it took the opportunity.

973
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:13,560
Speaker 7: Away just content, warning there's emotional abuse in these stories

974
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 7: that might be a little bit. HEAVY i twenty, three,

975
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 7: female live at. Home i'm in school and work part

976
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 7: time plus internet in. OFFICE i graduate In june And

977
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:24,960
Speaker 7: i've been applying to jobs as much AS i can

978
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 7: SO i can finally move. Out my, sister twenty, female

979
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 7: also lives at, home but is doing school online and doesn't.

980
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 7: WORK i try to help with chores around the house

981
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,920
Speaker 7: as much as, possible although it's difficult SINCE i leave.

982
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,040
Speaker 6: The house early in the morning and come home late at.

983
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 7: Night by the, way this comes from The Lilac swans

984
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 7: and if you want to submit your own, stories go

985
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 7: to our Slash okay storytime. Subreddit I'm, Riley I'm, dakota

986
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 7: and we're here to give good advice, goofully but we

987
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,359
Speaker 7: don't have all the. Answers we only know what we would,

988
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 7: do so let us know what you would do in the.

989
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 7: Commons As op, says last, WEEK i came.

990
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,520
Speaker 6: Home and there were clean dishes in the.

991
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 7: DISHWASHER i, Said i'm going to take a quick shower

992
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 7: then empty the, dishwasher and my dad went on a

993
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 7: rant about HOW i never help around the house and

994
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 7: that my sister's always the one doing. EVERYTHING i explained

995
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 7: THAT i do help and that just because they haven't

996
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:17,160
Speaker 7: seen me help doesn't mean THAT i. Don't he asked

997
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:18,960
Speaker 7: me to give him an, example AND i told him

998
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 7: THAT i took the garbage out the night before the

999
00:44:21,440 --> 00:44:24,239
Speaker 7: conversation escalated to, him saying THAT i should not argue

1000
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 7: any longer because he can easily make me homeless if

1001
00:44:26,920 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 7: he wanted. To The next, morning while everyone was still,

1002
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 7: ASLEEP i packed my things and. Left i've been sleeping

1003
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:34,839
Speaker 7: in my car for a. Week later in the day

1004
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 7: AFTER i, left my parents called and my mom texted

1005
00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:39,879
Speaker 7: me asking WHERE i am WHEN i didn't come home

1006
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 7: WHEN i was supposed. TO i didn't reply and blocked

1007
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,280
Speaker 7: my entire family's numbers and social medias and haven't spoken

1008
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:50,440
Speaker 7: to them as. Since they have been calling and texting

1009
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 7: my friends asking them WHERE i. AM i haven't told

1010
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 7: any of my friends That i'm sleeping in my, car

1011
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,600
Speaker 7: SO i got very confused text from friends asking me

1012
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 7: what's going. On why my parents are asking WHERE i

1013
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 7: am and If i'm safe and. OKAY i told my

1014
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 7: closest friend THAT i left home and That i'm, safe

1015
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 7: AND i let her know to tell my parents That i'm,

1016
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:10,319
Speaker 7: fine but THAT i have no desire to speak to them.

1017
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 7: Anymore they've been begging my friend to disclose my location

1018
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 7: and asking her to ask me to allow them to

1019
00:45:15,560 --> 00:45:17,920
Speaker 7: speak to. ME i went to my friends yesterday and

1020
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 7: she told me that WHAT i did was awful and

1021
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 7: THAT i should speak to. THEM i told her that

1022
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 7: they threatened to make me, homeless SO i left by

1023
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 7: my own. Volition but she's insisting that making them worry

1024
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 7: about my safety is a horrible thing to. DO i

1025
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 7: honestly THINK i just gave them what they asked. For

1026
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,480
Speaker 7: they wanted to get rid of, me SO i.

1027
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:39,239
Speaker 4: Left, no, no.

1028
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 7: No THE opi, Asks AM i the a hole for

1029
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:42,520
Speaker 7: leaving and refusing to communicate with?

1030
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: Them? YEAH i, YES i can say no on the.

1031
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 7: LEAVING i do think it was a, misplay a misstep

1032
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,040
Speaker 7: to like not communicate.

1033
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 1: That shouldn't have left like? That got a? Word, YEAH

1034
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:57,839
Speaker 1: i should have done.

1035
00:45:57,880 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 3: That shouldn't have left like.

1036
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 7: That there are some, comments and they do, disagree at

1037
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 7: least this first, one.

1038
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 3: Not THE a.

1039
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 7: Hole sounds like you were majorly stressed out and having

1040
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,840
Speaker 7: someone scream at you in a place that is supposed

1041
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 7: to be a, calm safe environment is just not helpful at.

1042
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,880
Speaker 7: All i'm guessing your mom doesn't know what hell. HAPPENED

1043
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 7: i would at least tell her she.

1044
00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: Blocked her whole, Family she blocked her entire. FAMILY i

1045
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:22,200
Speaker 1: GUESS i don't.

1046
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 7: Know i'm always like willing to kind of give the

1047
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 7: benefit of the doubt Because i'm, like, oh what was

1048
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:30,680
Speaker 7: going on so much that that was.

1049
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:32,640
Speaker 6: Like that is an extreme?

1050
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 7: Reaction so what was going on to garner that?

1051
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 6: Reaction?

1052
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,719
Speaker 7: FAIR opi does, say, no my mom was there when this,

1053
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 7: happened and she was on my dad's. Side he was

1054
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:45,920
Speaker 7: the one mainly throwing the, insults but she chimed in

1055
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 7: a few times as well and had a lot to.

1056
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 7: Say he's her a sea beef tank. INFO i get your,

1057
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 7: dad but why are you going to contact with your

1058
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 7: mom and?

1059
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,320
Speaker 6: Sister fair, QUESTION.

1060
00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,279
Speaker 7: Opi i'm not close with my sister and we pretty

1061
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 7: much never speak to each other unless we absolutely have.

1062
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 6: To my mom was also there while this incident.

1063
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:09,399
Speaker 7: Happened Uh and User Cinderella ridvan asks, info we genuinely do.

1064
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 6: Not have enough information to judge.

1065
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: HERE i think that's.

1066
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 7: Fair, Yeah opie has not provided enough backstory for us

1067
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 7: to be able to tell whether this is the final

1068
00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 7: chapter in a long history of abuse by their parents

1069
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,279
Speaker 7: or if this is a histrionic overreaction on their. Part

1070
00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 7: this is a post that's guaranteed to drum up a

1071
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 7: mountain of support for an ify choice on their, part

1072
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,280
Speaker 7: And i'm concerned that, commenters in their rush to support

1073
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:33,879
Speaker 7: someone who has apparently been treated very poorly by their,

1074
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 7: parents a rushing to defend what could easily be a

1075
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 7: dangerous and unnecessarily rash. Decision i'm concerned that there may

1076
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:42,760
Speaker 7: be more going on WITH opi than they have shared

1077
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 7: or are. Aware the spur of the moment decision to

1078
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:48,319
Speaker 7: move out secretly overnight into an unsuitable living situation in

1079
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 7: order to punish their parents for a relatively small issue

1080
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 7: makes me worry that there is an underlying instability that

1081
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 7: Places opie at increased. Risk and, yes this was a small.

1082
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 7: Issue even In opie's, telling the threats sound more like

1083
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 7: annoying bluster than an actual threat to make them. Homeless,

1084
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 7: Clearly opie's father was wrong.

1085
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,040
Speaker 6: And is a majorly the a.

1086
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:07,399
Speaker 2: Hole.

1087
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:09,400
Speaker 3: UH i think very.

1088
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 6: Well said all of.

1089
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 1: THAT i agree with.

1090
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:15,600
Speaker 7: That, Yeah opie says they've done this many times. Before

1091
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 7: WHEN i was, SIXTEEN i had an argument with my

1092
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 7: mom because she went through my, phone and then my

1093
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,279
Speaker 7: mom told my dad that she can't live with me

1094
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,080
Speaker 7: in the same house and that it's either her OR

1095
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 7: i in the. House SO i ended up getting kicked,

1096
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,719
Speaker 7: out AND i stayed with a friend for a week

1097
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 7: until she came and picked me up and apologized and

1098
00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 7: said they'd never punt me out, again which wasn't true

1099
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 7: because it's the one threat that gets made anytime something

1100
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 7: happens US.

1101
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,040
Speaker 6: A detached, nine not THE a.

1102
00:48:38,120 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 7: Hole but maybe talk to your LOCAL pd and let

1103
00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:41,640
Speaker 7: them know that if your parents try to file a

1104
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 7: missing person's, report it's a waste of time because you're not.

1105
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,880
Speaker 7: Missing they threatened to punt you out for not, helping

1106
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:49,960
Speaker 7: so you. Left sounds like a win win to. Me

1107
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 7: can you talk to any of your friends about staying

1108
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 7: with them until you get things? Together User shanna eight

1109
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 7: point one says she's twenty, three she's allowed to leave

1110
00:48:57,800 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 7: home and go no. Contact lesbian says not THE a.

1111
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,680
Speaker 7: Hole as someone who was made homeless by their, PARENTS

1112
00:49:04,719 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 7: i went no contact the MOMENT i left and didn't

1113
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 7: get back in touch till my father, apologized never moved

1114
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,799
Speaker 7: back even though he THOUGHT i, would and made a new.

1115
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 7: Life you don't owe them an explanation when they threaten your,

1116
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 7: life but also don't make your friend play.

1117
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,480
Speaker 6: Middleman that's.

1118
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 4: Fair, YEAH i, Agree and if this has like if

1119
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:25,719
Speaker 4: you'd already been kicked out at, Sixteen, yeah that would have.

1120
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:27,640
Speaker 1: Changed that would have changed a lot of stuff forever for. Me.

1121
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 4: Yeah BUT i, mean you, know we'd ever come back

1122
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,319
Speaker 4: after a week because they're my, friends and you're, Like i'm,

1123
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 4: Sorry i'll never do that.

1124
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 1: Again and then you keep threatening. It, YEAH i probably just.

1125
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,720
Speaker 7: Leave so that's WHAT i mean where it's like, again

1126
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,400
Speaker 7: LIKE i think you're okay to, leave BUT i think

1127
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 7: this person, too is, like, hey don't make your friends

1128
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 7: be the.

1129
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:46,000
Speaker 6: Middleman, LIKE i.

1130
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 3: Think there's a certain amount of.

1131
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 7: RESPONSIBILITY i know you don't want to talk to your,

1132
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 7: parents but just that, baseline, like.

1133
00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 6: Hey i'm leaving because of this.

1134
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 7: REASON i will be, safe BUT i will not be contacting.

1135
00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 1: You that's.

1136
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,799
Speaker 7: It that's all it needed to, happen, yep because then

1137
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:06,319
Speaker 7: at least everybody. Knows two months, later a week after my,

1138
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,279
Speaker 7: POST i ended up moving in with a friend who

1139
00:50:08,320 --> 00:50:09,840
Speaker 7: was kind enough to let me stay and pay a

1140
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 7: very small amount and rent in. RETURN i also ended

1141
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 7: up talking to my, parents and my dad apologized for

1142
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 7: his behavior and promised to never make a threat like that,

1143
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,200
Speaker 7: again which honestly came as a shock to, me But

1144
00:50:19,200 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 7: i'm glad things got resolved between. US i let them

1145
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,560
Speaker 7: know That i'm staying with a friend and paying a

1146
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:25,759
Speaker 7: small amount in rent in the, meantime and That i'm

1147
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 7: in the process of finding an, apartment and they suggested

1148
00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:30,200
Speaker 7: THAT i move back in with them for free UNTIL

1149
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,399
Speaker 7: i find a job and a. Place SO i took

1150
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 7: their offer and moved back home and haven't.

1151
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 6: Had issues with them since moving. Back there's another.

1152
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:38,880
Speaker 1: Update, well there we.

1153
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 4: Go things are, Okay just, yeah make a, plan move,

1154
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,280
Speaker 4: out YadA.

1155
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 1: YadA.

1156
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 7: Yeah it's always whenever we get this middle calm in the,

1157
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 7: Storm i'm always, like all, right what's this next?

1158
00:50:56,920 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 6: Update but for Now i'm, like, cool, good, glad.

1159
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: Things are, okay let's finish this.

1160
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 7: STORY i finished grad school and completed my, internship and

1161
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 7: two weeks AGO i landed a full time job in

1162
00:51:08,120 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 7: my field's. PLAY i also found an apartment that's only

1163
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,320
Speaker 7: a five minute walk from my. JOB i starts a

1164
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 7: job next, week AND i move into my new place

1165
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:16,160
Speaker 7: two weeks from.

1166
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: Now, okay, cool.

1167
00:51:17,400 --> 00:51:21,320
Speaker 7: Awesome there's some comments. Deleted users Says i'm always so

1168
00:51:21,360 --> 00:51:23,200
Speaker 7: happy WHEN i hear a good. ENDING i wish you

1169
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 7: all the happiness in the. WORLD op same the Throwback king,

1170
00:51:27,320 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 7: says as a longtime, Lurker i'm used to seeing these

1171
00:51:29,719 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 7: toxic family posts where THE op is forced to go

1172
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 7: h no contact and the a whole party refuses to

1173
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 7: apologize and doubles. Down so it's nice to see a

1174
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,359
Speaker 7: healthy resolution to a domestic conflict where the a hole

1175
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 7: admits their fault and relationships can begin to. Mend not

1176
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 7: every conflict will end as. Amicably, plus it's great to

1177
00:51:46,880 --> 00:51:49,720
Speaker 7: hear of the Success ope's had.

1178
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:50,720
Speaker 6: In her career and living.

1179
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 7: Arrangements user Hy unicorn, SAYS i read your previous post

1180
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:56,560
Speaker 7: and realize just how Often indian parents say this to

1181
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 7: their kids without actually meaning any of. It what they

1182
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,360
Speaker 7: don't realize is that it affects the self esteem of children,

1183
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 7: heavily such a toxic dynamic that has been so normalized

1184
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,440
Speaker 7: that they don't even realize that they're saying something so

1185
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 7: detrimental to their child's mental health, extension page four one

1186
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:14,279
Speaker 7: two Zero Eastern european parents as. Well, yes our cultures preach,

1187
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 7: resilience but it is tough when so much of the

1188
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,560
Speaker 7: self esteem trauma comes from those you are supposed to

1189
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 7: feel safest with and spend the most time with as

1190
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:21,319
Speaker 7: a youth.

1191
00:52:21,719 --> 00:52:26,600
Speaker 1: Culture it's a, funny funny. Business it's a funny.

1192
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,440
Speaker 6: Business it IS I i it's interesting because you.

1193
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:31,319
Speaker 7: Even said, like oh, yeah like my parents would be, like,

1194
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 7: oh you, know you're under our, roof and that can.

1195
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:37,879
Speaker 7: Change and it is always that interesting thing of never

1196
00:52:38,360 --> 00:52:41,400
Speaker 7: people saying that with different levels of, severity you, know

1197
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,400
Speaker 7: and different. Families sometimes people mean, it sometimes they. Don't

1198
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 7: BUT i get what the commenters are saying, too, that

1199
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 7: regardless of how serious it may, be stings in the moment,

1200
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:57,840
Speaker 7: again causes those feelings that cause these decisions that stumble

1201
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 7: and all.

1202
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:02,120
Speaker 1: That it's, true it's a slippery. Slope But i'm glad

1203
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 1: everything worked, out seems like it.

1204
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 5: Did and that's the end of this. Story we're gonna

1205
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 5: go on to the next.

1206
00:53:07,239 --> 00:53:09,920
Speaker 1: One, Hey John ogi host, Here we're gonna get back

1207
00:53:09,920 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: to this.

1208
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:12,359
Speaker 4: Episode but a quick three minute break of ads from

1209
00:53:12,360 --> 00:53:16,000
Speaker 4: a sponsor's keeping the show. Alive my sister turns every

1210
00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 4: family issue into A twitter, rant And i've had enough.

1211
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 4: Retweet WHENEVER i do something that upsets my, sister her

1212
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:27,600
Speaker 4: first reaction is to post it on her, personal albeit

1213
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:31,879
Speaker 4: public blog and Her. Twitter she doesn't come and talk

1214
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 4: to me about the issue or how we can work through,

1215
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:37,000
Speaker 4: it and instead publicly posts about, it often using negative

1216
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 4: language and insulting. Me this is an ongoing issue that

1217
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 4: has been occurring for many.

1218
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: Years by the, way this comes from User.

1219
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 4: Andromeda rising and if you want usubmit your own, stories

1220
00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,319
Speaker 4: go to the r slash okay storytime subburn. It I'm

1221
00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 4: dakota And I'm, riley and we're here to give you good.

1222
00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:54,600
Speaker 1: Advice.

1223
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:57,799
Speaker 4: Goofully but we don't always have all the. Answers we

1224
00:53:57,840 --> 00:53:59,759
Speaker 4: only know what we would, Do so if you would

1225
00:53:59,800 --> 00:54:03,279
Speaker 4: do do something, different let us. Know in the, Comments

1226
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:08,400
Speaker 4: opi SAYS i have asked her numerous times to please

1227
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 4: stop posting about me on her blog And, twitter and

1228
00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,760
Speaker 4: that if she has an issue with Something i'm, doing

1229
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:15,080
Speaker 4: just come talk to me.

1230
00:54:15,120 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: First but her reaction is always the.

1231
00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:20,719
Speaker 4: Same she claims that nobody cares that she vents about

1232
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 4: her family online and that it's her personal Blog.

1233
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,279
Speaker 1: Twitter it's such you can do whatever she wants on.

1234
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 4: It i've tried explaining to her that this is disrespectful to.

1235
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 4: Me while, yes it is her personal Blog, twitter she

1236
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 4: is posting about me in a public sphere on The,

1237
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 4: internet and therefore it is no longer. Personal it's upsetting

1238
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 4: BECAUSE i feel LIKE i can no longer have a

1239
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 4: relationship with.

1240
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,240
Speaker 1: HER i live in constant.

1241
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,320
Speaker 4: Fear that IF i do so little as breathe, wrong

1242
00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 4: my actions will be blogged or tweeted about without her

1243
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 4: coming to me first to discuss the. Issue in the,

1244
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 4: past she used to tweet and blog about me and

1245
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,760
Speaker 4: my ex, boyfriend saying she hated, him and even tweeted

1246
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,920
Speaker 4: a us Doing zuspasa.

1247
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:03,239
Speaker 1: Sleep this is.

1248
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:07,640
Speaker 4: Crazy, honestly my immediate reaction would just be, to, like

1249
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 4: get a bunch of bots and just start trolling your,

1250
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 4: sister troll Her, twitter you, know not a bad. Idea

1251
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 4: my sister AND i used to live together at the.

1252
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:19,640
Speaker 4: TIME i don't live with her, anymore, thankfully but WHEN

1253
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,480
Speaker 4: i go visit my mother where she, lives there's always

1254
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:26,240
Speaker 4: the Chance i'll do something and she'll react by tweeting about.

1255
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 4: It more, recently she posted THAT i ruined her day

1256
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,840
Speaker 4: and was insensitive for posting a photo of our father

1257
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,879
Speaker 4: on the anniversary of his passing and sharing a few

1258
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:39,200
Speaker 4: positive MEMORIES i had of him On. Facebook she CLAIMED

1259
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 4: i didn't think of anyone but myself when posting that.

1260
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 1: Photo, WELL i think they were thinking of their. Father.

1261
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 4: YEAH i felt bad that this upset, her but he

1262
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 4: was my dad, too AND i wanted to hear some

1263
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,839
Speaker 4: positive memories about him from his. Friends WHEN i tried

1264
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,480
Speaker 4: to talk to her about the, issue she stopped responding

1265
00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,359
Speaker 4: to me and proceeded to tweet and blog about how

1266
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 4: she doesn't have time for my whineybs and THEN i

1267
00:56:03,120 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 4: needed to stop being so. Sensitive you, mean like how

1268
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:11,120
Speaker 4: you were being so sensitive? This your sister sounds. Intolerable,

1269
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 4: YEAH i would want nothing to do with.

1270
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: Her she's.

1271
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:16,919
Speaker 4: Insufferable i'm at a loss for what to do. Here

1272
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 4: is there any WAY i can get her to stop

1273
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:19,360
Speaker 4: posting about me?

1274
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,160
Speaker 1: Online or AM i? Overreacting?

1275
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 4: Well one way to get her to not post about

1276
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 4: you online would be to never be around, her to give.

1277
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:28,360
Speaker 1: HER i guess like amo to.

1278
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 4: Post but, YEAH i think my reaction would be to

1279
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:33,920
Speaker 4: make Her twitter so unfun to use that she just

1280
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:34,799
Speaker 4: stops using. It.

1281
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,840
Speaker 3: Yeah not, Overreacting, yeah very not.

1282
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 4: Overreacting we have some comments comment, One OH mj just

1283
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 4: cut her out. Already your sister is a Hateful, ahle

1284
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 4: who despises.

1285
00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:49,799
Speaker 1: You why are you putting up with this abuse and

1286
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 1: public shaming from?

1287
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 4: Her opie, replies As i've recently blocked her on all public,

1288
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 4: media And i've tried to keep any conversations we have

1289
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 4: on a face to face. Basis in the, past she

1290
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 4: has screenshot at our conversations and posted them on Her

1291
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 4: twitter with my phone number in. Them no, Less, however

1292
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 4: any conversations That i've had with her face to face

1293
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:13,359
Speaker 4: end UP i end up being. Stonewalled she, Ends she

1294
00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:17,600
Speaker 4: shuts down and refuses to discuss. Anything comment TO i

1295
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 4: post about family members and friends on My, twitter but

1296
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:22,520
Speaker 4: it's a padlocked account AND i trust everyone WHO i

1297
00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:26,360
Speaker 4: allow to follow, it basically griping to friends. Indirectly if

1298
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 4: she needs an, outlet it needs to be a private

1299
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 4: one like.

1300
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: This it's being public is massively.

1301
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:36,560
Speaker 4: Unfair, nope he, Replied her account is public and she

1302
00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,880
Speaker 4: has seventy plus, followers not that that is a lot

1303
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,480
Speaker 4: by any, means but it still bothers. ME i doubt

1304
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,840
Speaker 4: she knows every single person that follows her, personally and

1305
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,840
Speaker 4: if anyone wants to look up her, account the tweets

1306
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,280
Speaker 4: are there for the whole world to, see and there

1307
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,280
Speaker 4: is an update, NOW i think you might be overreacting

1308
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:53,760
Speaker 4: if she only has seventy.

1309
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:56,800
Speaker 1: FOLLOWERS i honestly don't think this.

1310
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 4: Matters when she was, like nobody cares WHAT i, post

1311
00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,160
Speaker 4: she was, right nobody.

1312
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,760
Speaker 1: Cares she's got seventy. Followers, yeah your.

1313
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 7: Penny farthing account will get more than that in a,

1314
00:58:07,640 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 7: Day i'll.

1315
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 1: GUARANTE i bet you it.

1316
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 4: Would after reading through everyone's responses and taking time for

1317
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 4: myself to see HOW i really felt about the whole,

1318
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 4: SITUATION i did AS i SAID i was going to

1319
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 4: do and blocked my sister on all forms of social.

1320
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:24,760
Speaker 4: MEDIA i also cut her out of my, life albeit,

1321
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 4: temporarily for about eight. MONTHS i didn't speak to her

1322
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:32,720
Speaker 4: nor make any attempts at communicating with. Her that, summer

1323
00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,440
Speaker 4: about two months AFTER i had stopped contact with, her

1324
00:58:35,480 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 4: my sister moved away for. School my mother eventually got

1325
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,360
Speaker 4: wind of the situation from my, brother who was twenty

1326
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 4: four at the time and has never been particularly close

1327
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 4: with our younger, sister and asked me WHY i wasn't

1328
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:51,240
Speaker 4: talking to my. Sister, initially she was, judgmental but after

1329
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:55,640
Speaker 4: explaining to her my sister's repeated behavior of posting personal

1330
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 4: details about me, online including my phone, number in.

1331
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: Details about my spy sleep.

1332
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:03,440
Speaker 4: Life my mother was furious and agreed THAT i had

1333
00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 4: every right to cut her.

1334
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:05,240
Speaker 1: Out of my.

1335
00:59:05,320 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 4: Life at one, point my, mother during a phone conversation

1336
00:59:08,560 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 4: with my, sister called her, out calling my sister, childish,

1337
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 4: petty and, vindictive and said that if she ever found

1338
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 4: out that she was posting any intimate details about any

1339
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 4: family members online like that, again she wouldn't hesitate to

1340
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:25,000
Speaker 4: find a. Lawyer she also threatened to evict my sister

1341
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 4: from the house if she didn't stop her. Nonsense while

1342
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,120
Speaker 4: she was away at, school she did live at my

1343
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 4: mom's house.

1344
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:32,200
Speaker 1: During summer breaks and.

1345
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:35,480
Speaker 4: Holidays i'm not sure if there was any actual legal

1346
00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:38,280
Speaker 4: repercussions my mom could have actually made against, her but

1347
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 4: it was enough to make my sister set her blog

1348
00:59:40,720 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 4: And twitter to private after my mom browbeat her into

1349
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 4: submission for being so. Crappy due to, that my sister

1350
00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:49,480
Speaker 4: and my mom had a huge falling out as, well

1351
00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:51,960
Speaker 4: with my sister repeating the same old adage of how

1352
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 4: it was her personal blog In, twitter so she could

1353
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:55,560
Speaker 4: do whatever she wanted with.

1354
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:56,640
Speaker 1: It slash on.

1355
00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 4: It is she one of those people that doesn't understand

1356
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 4: that free spee each does not equate freedom of. Consequence, yeah,

1357
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 4: yeah it's, like, yeah it's your Personal, twitter, like go

1358
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 4: post some like you make the wrong, posts you're gonna

1359
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 4: need a knock on your door from THE fbi and

1360
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 4: they're going to arrest.

1361
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 7: You it's not, Personal, like yes it's personal and that it's,

1362
01:00:19,120 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 7: yours but it's a public, space like like if you

1363
01:00:23,640 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 7: are at a, park sure like you can be, like oh,

1364
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 7: Well i'm sitting on this bench right, Now like this

1365
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:30,600
Speaker 7: is my bench right. Now but it's like, okay but

1366
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 7: also a bunch of people can see. You they're hearing

1367
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,720
Speaker 7: what you. Say you posted your sister's phone number on the.

1368
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:40,520
Speaker 1: Internet that's crazy as a public that's a public. Bench

1369
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 1: that is a public.

1370
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 4: Bench christmas rolled around and me and sister still weren't,

1371
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,640
Speaker 4: talking and while my mom had patched things up with

1372
01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 4: her to a, degree it was an awkward.

1373
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 1: Holiday me and my brother both live.

1374
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,160
Speaker 4: Independently when we went over to visit for holiday, stuff

1375
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:57,520
Speaker 4: we were civil and polite towards our, sister but we

1376
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,240
Speaker 4: never failed to notice her on her. Phone twenty Five verse,

1377
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,120
Speaker 4: Seven we could only speculate what she was, doing BUT

1378
01:01:03,200 --> 01:01:05,720
Speaker 4: i was less bothered now that she had set her

1379
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 4: blogs to private. Regardless during a, dinner at one, point

1380
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 4: she was on her phone and my mom asked her

1381
01:01:12,560 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 4: to put her phone down so we could have family.

1382
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:18,600
Speaker 4: Time she responded along the lines of, yeah one, minute

1383
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,720
Speaker 4: and my brother made a jab about how she was

1384
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 4: probably too busy posting bs lies about us on the.

1385
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 4: INTERNET i should mention that while my sister doesn't seem

1386
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 4: to care WHAT i think or ask of, her she's

1387
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:30,240
Speaker 4: always seemed to respond and care about what my brother.

1388
01:01:30,360 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 4: Thinks she tried to fight him on his comment for a,

1389
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 4: minute but he shut her, down calling her an effing

1390
01:01:35,440 --> 01:01:38,520
Speaker 4: child who just Wants internet, points and straight up said

1391
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 4: that if she was a decent human, being she would

1392
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 4: talk to us about her problems instead of cowering behind a.

1393
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 4: Screen she shut up after that and retreated to her

1394
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 4: room after dinner was. Done After, CHRISTMAS i continued to

1395
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 4: have zero contact with. HER i would hear about how

1396
01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 4: she was doing in school via our mom from time to,

1397
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 4: time but still had her blocked on all social. Media

1398
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:02,840
Speaker 4: she came home for the summer to, work and that,

1399
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 4: summer our grandma passed away on my father's.

1400
01:02:06,200 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 1: Side my sister ended up.

1401
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 4: Having a complete breakdown due to the culminating and unworked

1402
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 4: through grief surrounding our, father who had passed away two years,

1403
01:02:14,920 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 4: before and now our. Grandma she started going to therapy

1404
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 4: and actually taking her. Medication sometimes it's a loss that

1405
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 4: will bring people.

1406
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:25,360
Speaker 1: Back, together.

1407
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 4: Honestly, unfortunately hopefully this ends with a little. Reconciliation let's. See,

1408
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 4: eventually my sister did reach out and apologize to me

1409
01:02:34,880 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 4: about her.

1410
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:38,280
Speaker 1: Behavior for the past few. Years we had to sit.

1411
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,440
Speaker 4: Down that fall over some bruskis and talked about everything

1412
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 4: that had happened and her. BEHAVIOR i told, her WHILE

1413
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 4: i accepted her, apology it would take some time for

1414
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 4: me to work through how her behavior had affected me

1415
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,400
Speaker 4: and our. RELATIONSHIP i unblocked her On facebook so we

1416
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:53,880
Speaker 4: could make.

1417
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:55,440
Speaker 1: A group chat with our brother as a.

1418
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:59,480
Speaker 4: Buffer we now occasionally, talk but we still aren't as

1419
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,120
Speaker 4: close as we used to be when we were. YOUNGER

1420
01:03:01,560 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 4: i actually went to lunch with her the last time

1421
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:04,880
Speaker 4: she was in town and it felt.

1422
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 1: Okay so that's. It here we, are and we have

1423
01:03:10,480 --> 01:03:10,840
Speaker 1: some more.

1424
01:03:10,920 --> 01:03:14,800
Speaker 4: Comments comment, One, UGH i have a sister who would

1425
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,440
Speaker 4: take pictures of me at events like meeting An instagram

1426
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:21,160
Speaker 4: famous dog and take them on my Personal facebook page

1427
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 4: and would tweet them to celebrities that she regularly tweets.

1428
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 1: At it annoyed me so.

1429
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 4: Much for what it's, WORTH i don't post On facebook,

1430
01:03:28,480 --> 01:03:32,000
Speaker 4: anymore nor talk to that sister due to other. Drama

1431
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 4: but that shouldn't stop you from posting On facebook.

1432
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:37,880
Speaker 1: Anyways my sister also has a blog for.

1433
01:03:37,960 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 4: Books she writes that sadly nobody reads except her circle

1434
01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 4: of book, friends and she talks a lot about her

1435
01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:46,920
Speaker 4: personal life and her relationships with her. Sisters it drives me,

1436
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,680
Speaker 4: crazy AND i hate when you google search my name

1437
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 4: you can find her blog Where i'm talked about. Hope he, replied,

1438
01:03:53,400 --> 01:03:58,120
Speaker 4: right it's incredibly. Intrusive beyond, that my career requires me

1439
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 4: to have a very limited online presence due to, professionalism

1440
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 4: and it was horrifying to think that potential employers could

1441
01:04:05,360 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 4: google my name and find it plastered on Her twitter

1442
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 4: in relation to her petty complaints about. Me and that

1443
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 4: is the end of that. Story you know you're on

1444
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:25,160
Speaker 4: the slow track to rebuilding that. Relationship, yeah, me, PERSONALLY

1445
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,120
Speaker 4: i DON'T i don't. Know IF i would, HAVE i

1446
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 4: would have let a seventy follower page get to me like.

1447
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:32,600
Speaker 1: THAT i know she ended up making it.

1448
01:04:32,640 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 4: Private i'm sure there's other elements of your relationship that

1449
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 4: have to do with you, know your lack of.

1450
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 7: Contact but if it's name and phone, Number i'm, LIKE

1451
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:42,959
Speaker 7: i get.

1452
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,040
Speaker 6: IT i get there could have.

1453
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,600
Speaker 7: Been fifteen, people but those are fifteen people you don't.

1454
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 1: Know or that is. True but and that's and then that's.

1455
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,520
Speaker 4: Doxic, yeah it's different being, like, booh my fister is.

1456
01:04:53,560 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 4: Annoying bye, bye she says bye. Bye she's so full of.

1457
01:04:56,960 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 4: Bs it's, like, okay, whatever no one's reading. That but,

1458
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 4: yeah if you're putting my name and phone number in

1459
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:05,480
Speaker 4: like my address or, stuff don't do.

1460
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 1: That don't do.

1461
01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:06,760
Speaker 4: That.

1462
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:08,800
Speaker 1: Please this is just.

1463
01:05:08,760 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 6: Your reminder about internet safety right at the end.

1464
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:13,280
Speaker 1: Here internet safety one on.

1465
01:05:13,280 --> 01:05:16,080
Speaker 4: One don't dox, yourself don't let your sister docs you

1466
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 4: shout out to mom for being.

1467
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:19,640
Speaker 1: LIKE i will invoke legal.

1468
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:23,240
Speaker 4: REACTIONS i don't know what they would, be BUT i

1469
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 4: will invoke.

1470
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 5: Them and that's the end of this. Story