Speaker 1: All right, break it down.
Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy
Speaker 2: and Cat got your cob and locking no brother, ladies
Speaker 2: and fels, you just follow an the spirit where it's
Speaker 2: all the front over real stuff to the chill stuff
Speaker 2: and the m but Swayne.
Speaker 3: Sometimes the best thing you can do it just.
Speaker 2: Stop you feel things. This is Feeling Things with Amy
Speaker 2: and Kat.
Speaker 1: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things.
Speaker 3: I'm Amy and I'm Kat.
Speaker 1: And our feeling of the day, well, I think we
Speaker 1: both have them. This is like last time you want
Speaker 1: to just say I'm on the count of three because
Speaker 1: I have two, pick your main one and go on
Speaker 1: the count of three. One, okay, two, three?
Speaker 3: Worry okay? Cool? I thought you were gonna go with
Speaker 3: the other feelings. Well that one is curious, okay, And
Speaker 3: I said worried so same reason.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Happy because Chase is in town and he's running
Speaker 1: our video today.
Speaker 3: Hey, Jas, I wish I could flip the.
Speaker 1: Can I know you can't. So this is fun. If
Speaker 1: you've listened to this podcast feed for years and years,
Speaker 1: it was four Things with Amy Brown and Chase before
Speaker 1: Kat was the co host on the bonus episode for
Speaker 1: that podcast called The Fifth Thing. Before you were the
Speaker 1: co host, Chase would do The Fifth Thing with me
Speaker 1: every week for several of them, a lot, a lot
Speaker 1: like Yeah, I don't know that it was consistent every week,
Speaker 1: but it was a lot. So he has been a
Speaker 1: part of the podcast family. And he happens to be
Speaker 1: in town, so he's running our camera and I'm curious
Speaker 1: because I want to know where Amy Bradley is. And
Speaker 1: I think that maybe is why you're worried.
Speaker 3: It's why I'm worried. Okay, you're worried about her, well, sure,
Speaker 3: but more worried. It seems a little suck us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're feeling sus.
Speaker 3: And you know what I'm not ever doing now?
Speaker 1: Oh no, you can go on a cruise. I will
Speaker 1: be on on next February, the Bobby Bone Show cruise.
Speaker 3: Okay, that cruise sounds like it's gonna be very safe
Speaker 3: and great. But can I share some I don't spoil anything.
Speaker 3: You know, I ruined Sex in the City for everybody, Well,
Speaker 3: you didn't, really.
Speaker 1: And also that Amy Bradley's story has been around since
Speaker 1: nineteen ninety eight and the doctor generies now gaining attention
Speaker 1: because this particular documentary there are other things out there
Speaker 1: you can watch. And the rabbit hole I ended up
Speaker 1: down was the inconsistencies in interviews over the last with
Speaker 1: who a couple of decades with the family and how
Speaker 1: stuff has changed. And in the Netflix documentary we learned
Speaker 1: that she is gay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and apparently her parents don't want people to know that.
Speaker 1: Well, it's information now, but you would think you would
Speaker 1: want the world to know that from the get go,
Speaker 1: in case any information could be helpful. But apparently, allegedly
Speaker 1: in previous interviews, interviews or documentaries or things, it wasn't
Speaker 1: disclosed that she was gay. In fact, even at one
Speaker 1: point they said she had a boyfriend right before the
Speaker 1: cruise or something like that, she had a girlfriend. She
Speaker 1: had a girlfriend.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well soon My parents were not into it in
Speaker 3: the beginning at least, okay, and now they seem okay
Speaker 3: with it.
Speaker 1: But what's your deal?
Speaker 3: Okay, if you haven't watched the documentary, I don't think
Speaker 3: I'm ruined anything, but like, don't you think the crew
Speaker 3: of the cruise was a little rude, mainly the director
Speaker 3: of fun or whatever. The guy, the guy, the cruise director,
Speaker 3: he was rude.
Speaker 1: I think that he probably wasn't his mindset, his thought
Speaker 1: that she jumped, she's overboard. Okay, so there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people online that have pieced together They're like, look,
Speaker 1: this family is in denial. I don't know what they're
Speaker 1: digging for. I don't think she was human trafficked.
Speaker 3: You don't think those pictures were.
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not telling you what I think. I'm
Speaker 1: telling you what other people have pieced together that have
Speaker 1: followed this case far longer than I. I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: Netflix newbie, like I have only been concerned about Amy
Speaker 1: Bradley for about two weeks now, well because I mean
Speaker 1: I didn't know about her. I didn't know she was missing,
Speaker 1: and now I need to know where is she? Is
Speaker 1: she being human trafficked in the Caribbean, I don't know,
Speaker 1: or did she go overboard? Or does something else happened
Speaker 1: to her?
Speaker 3: Or does that them again? Okay, I have a couple
Speaker 3: other thoughts. One I have to disclose this. I may
Speaker 3: have fallen asleep at the end of the last episode,
Speaker 3: so if she was found, I didn't know, but it
Speaker 3: sounds like she won't. So I didn't miss anything that
Speaker 3: I need to go back and watch, right.
Speaker 1: Sadly she's not found. It's almost like this is the
Speaker 1: family's last night. I don't know if it's their last,
Speaker 1: it's their next. Please they've done others.
Speaker 3: I would hope that my family would never give up
Speaker 3: on searching for me, and I would think as a parent,
Speaker 3: that would probably be how if there was not clear
Speaker 3: evidence that I died. I think that would I would
Speaker 3: not be able to sleep at night if I wasn't
Speaker 3: continuing to try to find why are you looking at
Speaker 3: like well?
Speaker 1: And if there were eyewitnesses that claim to see you
Speaker 1: years later in a bathroom or walking down the beach
Speaker 1: or crazy.
Speaker 3: This is what I'm worried about, though, Yellow's daughter. Don't
Speaker 3: you think she's gonna get herself into some trouble?
Speaker 1: Well, some people that haven't seen it, they're like, who's yellow?
Speaker 1: Yellow was a bass player on the cruise in the
Speaker 1: band that would play and apparently she was hanging out
Speaker 1: with them. Oh, this is the other thing. So she's gay?
Speaker 1: Right when you first watched the documentary, before they get
Speaker 1: into the piece that she's gay, aren't you thinking she's not?
Speaker 1: I mean some people are like, Look, I could tell
Speaker 1: by the first I was reading threads of people. They're like, look,
Speaker 1: I'm a lesbian, and I could tell right away when
Speaker 1: are they going to talk about how she's a lesbian?
Speaker 1: But they were just like she is the life of
Speaker 1: the party. She would walk into the room and everybody
Speaker 1: give her attention. Everybody wanted her attention, Like guys would
Speaker 1: talk to her, and everybody's come up to her. But
Speaker 1: at no point and then it was like this twist
Speaker 1: that she's gay. But I think that earlier in other
Speaker 1: documentaries or interviews that were done, the narrative was just
Speaker 1: how lively she was, and you would think, Okay, well
Speaker 1: we need to be looking at men, because clearly she
Speaker 1: was hanging out with men, and maybe she had a
Speaker 1: little rendezvous with the man. I mean, that's what I
Speaker 1: was thinking. I was like, well, who did she sneak
Speaker 1: off with? If she was so magnetic, she still could
Speaker 1: have done that, I know, but it seems like now
Speaker 1: we know she wouldn't be interested in a man.
Speaker 3: Maybe she was and she was just like, oh tonight,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do this. Maybe she's fluid, yes, yeah, versus
Speaker 3: the other stories that she was looking for drugs, which
Speaker 3: I also could be true. But back to Yellow, he
Speaker 3: was the bass player that people think had something to
Speaker 3: do with her being trafficked away, and in the documentary,
Speaker 3: his daughter calls him live and asks him what happened
Speaker 3: to Amy? If this guy is that powerful and he
Speaker 3: does those kinds of things, don't you think the daughter's
Speaker 3: now putting herself in harms way? That was my first
Speaker 3: thought of, like, if he's this powerful guy, like, don't
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: That part was weird to me. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: gave it nothing, nothing gave us nothing like I thought
Speaker 1: when she called and left a voicemail for that family.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we're about to get some real information. And
Speaker 1: the parents had to be thinking that, like we're about
Speaker 1: to really get something here. And then it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you just heard from your mom this story and whatever.
Speaker 1: People that haven't watched it, they're probably not as worried
Speaker 1: or concerned or curious as we are about this, But
Speaker 1: just watch it and if anybody knows anything about Amy,
Speaker 1: call us. We need to call that a lie. Obviously.
Speaker 1: That's what I meant to find their number and try
Speaker 1: not to one one before us. I just I am
Speaker 1: heartbroken for her family. I just don't know what is what?
Speaker 3: You know what I was happy to see though, because
Speaker 3: in these types of documentaries they always interview everybody separately.
Speaker 3: The parents stayed together, and I think a lot of
Speaker 3: times when there's any kind of tragedy within a family,
Speaker 3: a lot of times the parents, because of their grieving
Speaker 3: process to end up splitting up. But they're still together.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I love that too.
Speaker 3: Not, but it just was nice to see.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is nice. I'm like thinking, what do
Speaker 1: you think about my divorce?
Speaker 3: Well, I think that is very different. Your children didn't
Speaker 3: go missing, Okay, I know are you protecting?
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I'm so glad they stayed together, And
Speaker 1: I was like, I bet you are. Look at them,
Speaker 1: they're so great. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think about it every night with you. I can't
Speaker 3: believe you did that.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: So I thought I have a little activity for us.
Speaker 1: It's like a check in, and I think listeners could
Speaker 1: do this too if they want to write it down,
Speaker 1: or we can put it in the show notes and
Speaker 1: they can go copy and paste it and do a
Speaker 1: check in with themselves or their roommates or their husband, wife,
Speaker 1: whatever kids. So I'll share the check in so I
Speaker 1: can go first, and then you can share yours. But
Speaker 1: they're just questions you can ask yourself and then you
Speaker 1: fill in the blank.
Speaker 3: Do you do the same question or it's just a
Speaker 3: one time thing. It's not like a week you could
Speaker 3: do you do a monthly check in. You could do this,
Speaker 3: rinse and repeat twelve times a year. Okay, okay, ready
Speaker 3: this month. I'm proud of accomplishing.
Speaker 1: And for me curtains in my house because I've lived
Speaker 1: here over Yere and I finally got curtains up in
Speaker 1: all of the rooms.
Speaker 3: And have you ever hung a curtain rod yourself?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Oh did you do these?
Speaker 1: No? Okay, but I have very hard Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: like in college or something. Okay, yeah, why do you
Speaker 1: hang them?
Speaker 3: I just hung one once and I felt very accomplished.
Speaker 1: This might also be you doing that thing where we
Speaker 1: wanted to like ask things we don't know about each other.
Speaker 1: So is that like a thing you didn't know about me?
Speaker 1: If I'd ever hung a curtain.
Speaker 3: Right driving down the road and I was like, I
Speaker 3: wonder if Amy's ever hung a curtain rod. That's something
Speaker 3: I think would be fun if we have space, which
Speaker 3: I guess we do this anyway with space. In the podcast,
Speaker 3: if we're like, oh, questions that never come up. I've
Speaker 3: been wondering have you ever done this? Or what would
Speaker 3: you do in this situation? Questions that like, it would
Speaker 3: be weird if I just brought this up in conversation. Okay,
Speaker 3: you know, yeah, like, is there something about me you've
Speaker 3: always wanted to know?
Speaker 1: Let me think about it. I feel like if I
Speaker 1: wanted to know, I would ask you. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: sure there.
Speaker 3: Is that, but if it's not a natural place for it,
Speaker 3: you know. So, Okay, that's a new thing. We're gonna
Speaker 3: do that. If you randomly have a question or a
Speaker 3: thought and there's like nowhere for it to really fit,
Speaker 3: you can just say, kind of like how we say
Speaker 3: sib when we're being mean to each other, we can
Speaker 3: just say questions that never come up? Have you ever
Speaker 3: hung a curtain? Rod? Okay?
Speaker 1: Okay, and let me just ask it? Okay, So that'll
Speaker 1: encourage just more curiosity. Yeah, with your friends and family.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you think you can start that with your family,
Speaker 3: not just on the podcast.
Speaker 1: If you wonder it, ask it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's your T shirt.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I did my this month. I'm proud of accomplishing,
Speaker 1: which was curtains in my house. One thing I'm grateful
Speaker 1: for is people. What s grateful for people in my
Speaker 1: life lately that have been able to either pour into
Speaker 1: my kids or pour in to me. And just how
Speaker 1: important community is. So I think more so than just
Speaker 1: people is like your people, your community. My affirmation for
Speaker 1: the next month is I'm a fun person. Why did
Speaker 1: you say that? Because I listened to my affirmations as
Speaker 1: subliminals and so yeah, I was just doing it.
Speaker 3: How would a fun person say it?
Speaker 1: No, my subliminal would be I don't know, because I
Speaker 1: am a fun mat I'm not fun yet that's my
Speaker 1: manifestation for the next month. So so, so this.
Speaker 3: Is not an affirmation, So this is more so like
Speaker 3: this is a subliminal. Well, it can be either, because
Speaker 3: affirmation isn't that Like you are beautiful?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am fun, I am fun. What I write down,
Speaker 1: I'm a fun person. I am a fun person. Gosh
Speaker 1: darn it, Like are you repeat it over and over
Speaker 1: you look.
Speaker 3: In the mirror.
Speaker 1: I am a fun person, Okay, but I take in
Speaker 1: my subliminals. I am a money magnet. Fun finds me
Speaker 1: in fun ways. Circulating fun is fun. I'm fun I
Speaker 1: think you're fun. We are fun. I want to be
Speaker 1: more funky. I'm a fun I'm a fun mom, I'm
Speaker 1: a fun parent, I'm a fun coworker. I'm fun. I'm
Speaker 1: fun gosh, and people want to be around me because
Speaker 1: i'd so fun. But we're not there yet. But I'm
Speaker 1: work shopping it but fun okay, Like that's my affirmation.
Speaker 1: You are fun though you're a seven.
Speaker 3: Okay, you're just as fun as I am.
Speaker 1: No, no, you're.
Speaker 3: No pie for no, but no, you were fun in
Speaker 3: that meeting when you yelled at.
Speaker 1: That was fun. Yeah, I can be fun. I want to,
Speaker 1: I guess, be more consistently fun.
Speaker 3: Well, I want to be more low key, so like
Speaker 3: low key there, like I want to be more like less.
Speaker 1: You want to be more like me, which is low key, lame.
Speaker 3: It's not what I met what I met. It met
Speaker 3: like I want to just like be home more. But
Speaker 3: being home could be fun. Yeah, it's so fun now
Speaker 3: that I'm thinking about it. I am home all the time.
Speaker 3: I think you have a skewed idea of my life.
Speaker 1: No, I don't you play games? You you have you
Speaker 1: know you blindfold your husband and taking around town. You're
Speaker 1: always coming up with fun ideas that I take from
Speaker 1: you and then I implement them in my life. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're fun bank cookie logs.
Speaker 3: That's fun, but that's at home.
Speaker 1: One habit I cultivated this month was pretending to stretch
Speaker 1: while I was actually just laying on the floor. I
Speaker 1: really am trying to work on stretching more and I
Speaker 1: think we'll get there. But I definitely lay it on
Speaker 1: the floor to stretch more than I ever have before,
Speaker 1: and then ended up mostly just laying there. But still
Speaker 1: in yoga, laying on your back flat is a move.
Speaker 1: It's called savasana, which is a move. So if I
Speaker 1: am laying in it is a yoga post. It's a pose,
Speaker 1: it's a post. So I am laying in savasana, okay,
Speaker 1: so it's not like I'm just doing nothing. And then
Speaker 1: the final check in is one thing I want to
Speaker 1: accomplish next month is by next month, I want to
Speaker 1: finish Family of Liars, which is the book I ordered
Speaker 1: that's the prequel to We Were Liars, which I watched
Speaker 1: on Amazon. I didn't read the book, but after I
Speaker 1: watched it and learned it was a book, I wished
Speaker 1: I would have read it, So then I ordered us
Speaker 1: the prequel, which is Family of Liars.
Speaker 3: I wonder what's gonna so I guess maybe we're getting
Speaker 3: the mom's perspective.
Speaker 1: I don't know yet. I just got them mis Okay,
Speaker 1: well you didn't read the that of the book, not yet.
Speaker 1: I got stuck on the little drawing and they had
Speaker 1: a little graphic like a map. They had a map
Speaker 1: of Beechwood Island.
Speaker 3: Okay, because I'm imagining, like, you can't be that much
Speaker 3: that happens before.
Speaker 1: I mean, I started a little bit just but not
Speaker 1: enough to where I know really what's happening. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure what I'm reading right now is from one
Speaker 1: of the sisters.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's three.
Speaker 1: That's when you mean that mom, Yes, yes, which went
Speaker 1: and got her? Because in the show, and this isn't
Speaker 1: giving anything away, but do you remember which one got
Speaker 1: like her chin or jaw redone like plastic surgery? Remember
Speaker 1: when one of the sisters was like, well, yeah, let's
Speaker 1: be nice, Dad got you a new chin or whatever?
Speaker 1: That Okay, because I need a google. I want to
Speaker 1: see which one. Since I've already watched the show and
Speaker 1: i'm reading the prequel, I'm visually I have the real
Speaker 1: visualization from the show and not my own imagination. So
Speaker 1: I know what the three sisters look like, and I
Speaker 1: need to know which sister I'm reading about.
Speaker 3: So can I share something again that's not going to
Speaker 3: be a spoiler. But remember last week I said that
Speaker 3: I wanted to guess what was going to happen.
Speaker 1: And we were liars.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, Okay, wasn't I close?
Speaker 1: You were very close. You were very close. I was
Speaker 1: not that close, but you were.
Speaker 3: You're right, So I just I just want that on
Speaker 3: the record for everybody to know I was close.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Probably.
Speaker 3: I can't tell you what it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, if you have not watched that, watch it.
Speaker 1: If you would rather read it, read it first.
Speaker 3: I'm sad. If I would have known that was a book,
Speaker 3: I would have read first. That probably was such a
Speaker 3: good book.
Speaker 1: But now we have yeah, family of Life.
Speaker 3: Pretty cool.
Speaker 1: They're welcome, So your turn to do oh check in? Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: you went the first Yeah, and you asked them, And
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this month, I'm proud of accomplishing.
Speaker 3: So this is going to sound weird. I'm proud of
Speaker 3: accomplishing hiring somebody else to come clean my house because
Speaker 3: this is something that I've wanted to do for over
Speaker 3: a year. I kept asking one of my friends for
Speaker 3: her cleaners, and she finally said, I'm not giving you
Speaker 3: the number anymore because we're never going to play. Because
Speaker 3: I asked her like ten times, can I have your
Speaker 3: cleaner's number? And then she would give it to me,
Speaker 3: and then I would ask her the next month, which
Speaker 3: I don't know why I didn't just go look for it.
Speaker 3: I guess I was lazy. But then she was like,
Speaker 3: you're you're not going to call them? And I said, yes,
Speaker 3: I am, but then you texted yours for me, so
Speaker 3: I didn't have to do the work, but I rescheduled her.
Speaker 3: Yeah and okay.
Speaker 1: So and she's so awesome and she's so grateful and
Speaker 1: she's really excited about clean your house and she's so sweet,
Speaker 1: and she sent me a text. Gosh, I've been working
Speaker 1: with her for years years now, like four maybe at
Speaker 1: least or going on five, and I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a good consistent relationship and I adore her. And she
Speaker 1: was really sweet and she was like, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to be cleaning your friend's house. Like next time I come,
Speaker 1: I want to give you like a little discount, and
Speaker 1: I thought, Okay, you don't have to do that, but
Speaker 1: I just thought that it's also a good business practice
Speaker 1: for her because she knows like word of mouth is
Speaker 1: the best. Is that how the fast you can do
Speaker 1: no no business part in the mailbox?
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, Well I will say that has been so
Speaker 3: helpful because that's one of those things that I'm like,
Speaker 3: I can do it myself. There's something about having somebody else. Well,
Speaker 3: you're my house looks.
Speaker 1: New now, working full time, your husband works full time
Speaker 1: on mensayah, And like I think for y'all it makes sense.
Speaker 1: I think anytime you can outsource stuff, that is going
Speaker 1: to take stuff off of your plate.
Speaker 3: And you can and I give trying back. Yeah, because
Speaker 3: for her, cleaning my shower probably takes her, what fifteen minutes,
Speaker 3: It would take me four hours, you know, because she
Speaker 3: probably has better skills. And I'm like using Patrick's like,
Speaker 3: do you clean everything with Windex? And I'm like kind
Speaker 3: of yes.
Speaker 1: It's like everything my big fat Greek weddings cleaning my house.
Speaker 3: We're furniture with windex. He's like, what are you doing.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's just it's wet and it's getting the
Speaker 3: dirt off, like.
Speaker 1: Oh, well, I'm glad she's gonna be able to help you,
Speaker 1: because yes, you need to not do it with windex.
Speaker 1: But I'm proud of you too, thank you, especially with
Speaker 1: all you have going on with your house. It's good
Speaker 1: to have it like clean, Yeah, spiffy, so you can
Speaker 1: sell that bad boy. Yeah, because you're a money magnet.
Speaker 3: Money finds its way to circulate around me.
Speaker 1: People want to buy your house. Your house is very desirable.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you need to run subliminals while people
Speaker 1: are looking at your house.
Speaker 3: You'd have music. You should do it because you're really
Speaker 3: good at them.
Speaker 1: Well no, I mean you'd have to make them. But
Speaker 1: I wonder if there's a house selling subliminal and when
Speaker 1: people come into her your house, like they think that
Speaker 1: listening to horror falls, but really subliminately in the music.
Speaker 1: There's like, you want to buy this house. This house
Speaker 1: is perfect for you.
Speaker 3: Your stuff would look great in this house.
Speaker 1: Can't you imagine yourself so many fun family memories around
Speaker 1: this table? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Wow, yeah, Okay, that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of playing I don't know, it's a
Speaker 1: great idea, but yeah, being kind, I.
Speaker 3: Mean it's great, like it can't hurt. It can hurt
Speaker 3: if they do notice what's happening.
Speaker 1: Is this a new business we have? We could market
Speaker 1: it to realtors, buy our subliminals.
Speaker 3: You'll sell so many houses, so many We could sell
Speaker 3: it for like five days.
Speaker 1: Science backed.
Speaker 3: We didn't need to say that, therapist backed. We want
Speaker 3: to say science.
Speaker 1: I was joking.
Speaker 3: Okay, inside joke. No, I think we should do it.
Speaker 3: If it works, then we'll do it, because then we'll
Speaker 3: have a testimony.
Speaker 1: Perfect. Yeah, your house.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I played them in my house and it's sold
Speaker 3: in seven days. Okay.
Speaker 1: One thing I'm grateful for is dot dot dot?
Speaker 3: Did I for tell you the one time I got
Speaker 3: in a fight. Did I for tell you the one
Speaker 3: time I got in a fight with my ex boyfriend
Speaker 3: because he asked me this question? He abandoned me at
Speaker 3: church and drove off. Wait what yeah, Oh, sometimes this
Speaker 3: question triggers me a little bit.
Speaker 1: Oh, I did not mean to do that, So no,
Speaker 1: I can work through it a little backstory though. I
Speaker 1: don't know how much you say about this ex boyfriend's
Speaker 1: personality because obviously he's not diagnosed of anything. But he
Speaker 1: was not He was not kind to you. Yeah, toxic traits.
Speaker 3: Toxic traits. So we were on our way to church
Speaker 3: and he asked me, what are you grateful for? I
Speaker 3: think he was trying to do something cute or something.
Speaker 3: What are you grateful for today? I think? I said,
Speaker 3: that's such a weird question, and I was about to say,
Speaker 3: because there's so many things I'm grateful for. He lost
Speaker 3: it and was like, how dare you say that was
Speaker 3: a weird question? So disrespectful, and then he started saying
Speaker 3: loud of like mean things and like curse words, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh my gosh, I couldn't pick one thing.
Speaker 3: So he was like, I can't even be around you.
Speaker 3: Drop me off at church, left, ain't drove off. I
Speaker 3: don't know how I got home.
Speaker 1: How much longer did you date him after that incident?
Speaker 3: If I don't know, couldn't have been more than a
Speaker 3: couple months.
Speaker 1: You don't know how you got back home. I mean,
Speaker 1: let's just say you got to ride from a friend
Speaker 1: like that. Heart's not important. What was the I mean,
Speaker 1: obviously you getting home, it's important. I don't want to
Speaker 1: a Netflix special of where is kat a Fauna? Because yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be terrible, But once you got home or
Speaker 1: your next interaction with him. Sheldon lived together, but like
Speaker 1: what was that? Like, Like, hey, why did you leave
Speaker 1: me at church?
Speaker 3: And oh no, I think I got myself and left.
Speaker 3: I must have like called him after church. Maybe I ubered.
Speaker 3: This was so long ago, but I do know that
Speaker 3: I got my stuff and left. My car was at
Speaker 3: his apartment, so somehow I got back to my the apartment,
Speaker 3: got my stuff, a hat, a key too apartment, got
Speaker 3: myself and left and then he sent me an apology
Speaker 3: and it was probably like I'll buy you the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're like, okay, does it include a house keeper?
Speaker 3: You probably did have a housekeeper anyway, I'm one. Am
Speaker 3: I grateful for it that I'm not dating him and
Speaker 3: I'm married to my current husband.
Speaker 1: Praise the Lord. That's a crazy story and that I
Speaker 1: see now how that question could be triggering.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you could triggering. It's just I think every
Speaker 3: time somebody asked me that, I'm like, oh remember that
Speaker 3: one time.
Speaker 1: I know. But I don't want you to have to
Speaker 1: think of him if you don't need to. So you
Speaker 1: can omit this from your monthly check ins, my affirmation
Speaker 1: and how that you say that. I do recall you
Speaker 1: telling me that story years ago, and I couldn't but
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been able to regurgitate that. But that
Speaker 1: is such a good story. Not good, but you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, cool story.
Speaker 3: No, it's crazy. Yeah, it's great, That's what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I have a lot of stories about him that
Speaker 3: are crazy.
Speaker 1: No, but it's like I would think I would never
Speaker 1: forget that story because it's so you know, cuckoo.
Speaker 3: What I think that relationship was very much. It developed
Speaker 3: the plot of my own story, you know how, Like
Speaker 3: the kids will say, I do it for the plot.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I dated him for the plot, for sure.
Speaker 1: Do you know how many more yeah, it's cool. How
Speaker 1: many more interesting things could I gather? Or cool not cool,
Speaker 1: crazy stories can I get from this relationship?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's an embarrassing It was not a good relationship.
Speaker 1: No, but it maybe it kept life interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I will say I'm a big believer in this,
Speaker 3: not throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I have
Speaker 3: a lot of good memories from that relationship too. Obviously
Speaker 3: there was something good about it, else I wouldn't have
Speaker 3: been in it for as long as I was but
Speaker 3: he took me to Disney World.
Speaker 1: That's fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was fun. That was fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Was he a love bomber?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh his first gift? Well, first of all,
Speaker 3: our first date was the day before my birthday.
Speaker 1: I love how I asked, was he a love bomber?
Speaker 3: When like, obviously obviously he was. He brought a birthday
Speaker 3: card to our first date. So my birthdays in December,
Speaker 3: so Christmas is right after that. The first gift he
Speaker 3: gave me was like a very large sum of money
Speaker 3: to able so I can pick out a purse because
Speaker 3: I mentioned that I wanted a bag from there. Very large.
Speaker 3: I don't want to say what it is because that
Speaker 3: feels weird, but like it was like enough to buy
Speaker 3: a person then something else like and to me back then,
Speaker 3: and that was a lot of money. I mean, it
Speaker 3: is a lot of money. Yeah, somebody been dating for
Speaker 3: two weeks. It was weird. I was like, I wasn't
Speaker 3: going to get you anything. And then he took me
Speaker 3: on a trip to Asheville at the end of December.
Speaker 3: We were dating for like three weeks, so yeah, he was.
Speaker 3: He was a gift bomber, and I did like that.
Speaker 1: We were like I didn't hate it, But that's how
Speaker 1: they get in this person. They hook you and not
Speaker 1: even that you're in this material at person where it's like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I'm a little data. Affirmation worked in there
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, yeah, so you're grateful he's gone. Speaking
Speaker 1: of affirmation, that's the next check in my affirmation for
Speaker 1: the next month.
Speaker 3: Is does mine have to be subliminal? Subliminal?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Okay, I would like to tell myself one thing at
Speaker 3: a time, like, do one task at a time, like
Speaker 3: you can do time, you can do well here, how
Speaker 3: about this one task at a time is enough?
Speaker 1: So what's up with that? No? I want to know
Speaker 1: more behind it. I'm curious, No, this caut.
Speaker 3: I'm feeling judged, So what's up with that?
Speaker 1: Sorry, s Iv, I was not that.
Speaker 3: If I get that, I'm messing with you.
Speaker 1: If that came across sib, I didn't, okay, because a
Speaker 1: little bit, I quite literally was doing that thing where
Speaker 1: you said, if you get a question about let me
Speaker 1: ask you.
Speaker 3: Oh, you have to say questions that don't come up,
Speaker 3: questions and don't come up. What's up with that?
Speaker 1: Why are you wanting to do one thing at a
Speaker 1: time or one thing at a time is enough? Like
Speaker 1: I want more details.
Speaker 3: Because I think this is twofold. It's in the large
Speaker 3: scale and the small scale, because you know, I have
Speaker 3: a lot of huge life things happening. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 3: getting lost sometimes in like, let's just say, with a move,
Speaker 3: I'm like making Pinterest boards for my dining room, which
Speaker 3: is gonna be like the last room that I redo
Speaker 3: in this house, versus like focus on you need to
Speaker 3: have bedroom furniture that fits this house, or you need
Speaker 3: to hire a mover to even get there kind of thing.
Speaker 3: So like one thing at a time, right, like is enough?
Speaker 3: I want to do it all? And I think large
Speaker 3: scale is like the move and then these other big
Speaker 3: things in my life. I'm like feel like I have
Speaker 3: to get everything sorted out at the same time. Right,
Speaker 3: Does that make sense? Yes, So getting one thing accomplished,
Speaker 3: like calling a mover. I did message the movers and
Speaker 3: they really like to call immediately, and I wasn't prepared
Speaker 3: for that type of like eye eagerness. I thought they
Speaker 3: were going to text me back or something. So I
Speaker 3: messaged like four of them and then I got immediately
Speaker 3: like seven phone calls. So it was like one thing
Speaker 3: at a time is enough I messaged them. I don't
Speaker 3: have to talk to them yet. So if I just
Speaker 3: got a mover scheduled, that would be okay. Then I
Speaker 3: can sit down. I don't have to like check everything
Speaker 3: off the list. Okay. So yeah, that was that a
Speaker 3: good answer?
Speaker 1: Yes, whatever answer you gave would be the good one, SIB.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: To be clarified what that means in case someone's new
Speaker 1: today not today, SIB is just a quick way that
Speaker 1: Kat and I call each other out in case one
Speaker 1: of us is acting or maybe we know we're acting bitchy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's just real quick SIB like sorry, I bit.
Speaker 1: So she can say it to me, I can say
Speaker 1: it to her, and then it also brings some levity
Speaker 1: to a situation that may feel it e.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's gonna make it easy if you're
Speaker 3: being SIV for me to be like SIB versus.
Speaker 1: Like oh you know, yeah, like hey, is everything okay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's more like hey SIB. It's like SIB check in,
Speaker 1: Like these are like check ins that you can do
Speaker 1: every month, but you could do SIB check in daily, hourly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: sometimes with anybody in your life.
Speaker 3: SIB.
Speaker 1: Yeah, by minute, by the minute. I fluctuate sometimes just
Speaker 1: depending on what's going on.
Speaker 3: It can be that fast you say I'm in it
Speaker 3: by the minute.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean like do a check in by the minute? Oh,
Speaker 1: like you could be not SIB and then sixty seconds
Speaker 1: later SIB sort of like just then I didn't feel SIB,
Speaker 1: and then within sixty seconds, I guess I gave sib vibes.
Speaker 1: Which I think there's a major difference in giving SIB
Speaker 1: vibes and actually being SIB, because sometimes it could just
Speaker 1: be misinterpreted.
Speaker 3: And sometimes like I make a weird face. I don't
Speaker 3: mean to make it, you know, and then.
Speaker 1: I feel judged, yes, and you're like, no, that's just
Speaker 1: the w F your face.
Speaker 3: It's just not having botox anymore. Yeah, weird fase. Okay, Sorry,
Speaker 3: you can say WF and I'm like, no, that actually
Speaker 3: was sip. Okay.
Speaker 1: One habit I cultivated this month was.
Speaker 3: I don't know if I should say what I was
Speaker 3: going to say.
Speaker 1: Why do you don't think it could hurt you?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 1: I didn't know what it was until you just asked me.
Speaker 1: So I looked down and read it because you typed it.
Speaker 1: But I had tried to stay away from it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna save that one for later. I'm gonna save that
Speaker 1: one until after what I hope is going to happen
Speaker 1: and happens. Okay, so that'll be a good contract. I
Speaker 1: will say it is very entertaining.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I'm going to keep you guys in your toes.
Speaker 1: This habit you cultivated, I wouldn't even call it a
Speaker 1: habbit you cultivated. It's a hobby.
Speaker 3: It's now a hobby. It's become a hobby. Yeah, it's
Speaker 3: become very time consuming. It's a time consuming heaby. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you're not the only one that's ever done it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I don't think people tell Oh and also I
Speaker 3: think you're doing it in a very normal way. I
Speaker 3: think other people have gone next level and they do
Speaker 3: like other things.
Speaker 1: Okay, if you guys want to guess what it is,
Speaker 1: but also will clarify it's nothing illegal or dirty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because that sounded weird when I was, like, other people
Speaker 1: do things. Okay, So do you have another habit, another.
Speaker 3: Habit I've cultivated this month? I don't think I've cultivated it.
Speaker 3: What was yours? Lay at?
Speaker 1: I've been trying to stretch more mine was stretching more,
Speaker 1: but then that ended up like I stretched for a
Speaker 1: second and then I lay.
Speaker 3: Okay, here's a habit, and this is all thanks to
Speaker 3: like everything revolves around stelling my house. I am cleaning
Speaker 3: my dishes and putting them immediately away right now instead
Speaker 3: of like leaving them out to dry, I'm like drying
Speaker 3: them and put them putting them away. And here's the
Speaker 3: habit I've cultivated. I've done it twice, Shannon.
Speaker 1: Can you look up what how many times do you
Speaker 1: do something where it takes it?
Speaker 3: And I'm cultivating this habit.
Speaker 1: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3: I'm folding my laundry as soon as it's done, putting
Speaker 3: it away and putting it away. Yeah. Yeah, I'll take
Speaker 3: it a step farther. I'm putting it away.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's what I need to do because I love
Speaker 1: doing laundry, and then I don't put it away, so
Speaker 1: then I form neat piles all over the place. I'm
Speaker 1: not messy about it, but sometimes my closet can get
Speaker 1: pretty messy. But like if you go up to my
Speaker 1: room and now I've got a pile like sitting on
Speaker 1: a chair, Well, you.
Speaker 3: Don't like doing laundry. You like putting laundry in the
Speaker 3: laundry machine?
Speaker 1: Then what are you saying? I know what I like
Speaker 1: and I like doing laundry. I like doing laundry. Why
Speaker 1: are you saying I don't like it?
Speaker 3: I love what is laundry? Laundry machine too? Because he
Speaker 3: feels like I'm doing something, but then I'm like, really
Speaker 3: just taking this mess and putting it in this Do
Speaker 3: you like sorting?
Speaker 1: Do you like sorting the colors?
Speaker 3: I don't think it takes a lot of time. I
Speaker 3: just don't get because I don't not like it. I
Speaker 3: don't get a high off of it.
Speaker 1: I don't think you like laundry like I do. I
Speaker 1: like laundry.
Speaker 3: You what do you like about laundry?
Speaker 1: Because I am I doing it.
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: I just don't always put everything away right away. But
Speaker 1: some people dread laundry, and there their laundry piles up
Speaker 1: and then they have lots of it to do. I
Speaker 1: try to stay ahead of it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I like laundry. Believe you. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Okay, Shannon said, there isn't a fixed number of times
Speaker 1: you need to repeat in action for it to be
Speaker 1: considered a habit, but research, Oh suggest it can take
Speaker 1: anywhere from eighteen to two hundred and fifty four days
Speaker 1: for something to become a habit.
Speaker 3: I'm on days like seven, so I'm almost halfway there.
Speaker 1: Like on my little bull balls that I put in
Speaker 1: my dryer because I quit using dryer sheets.
Speaker 3: Do they work?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, well what do they do? I don't know? Sure
Speaker 3: the stuff not staticky?
Speaker 1: No, I still have static. Oh maybe maybe I need
Speaker 1: to update my balls because.
Speaker 3: That's under sounds like it.
Speaker 1: But I think they wear down, so I might need
Speaker 1: you to get fresh wool balls fresh balls. But what
Speaker 1: I've been doing and it's so lovely is and maybe
Speaker 1: Shannon even gave you this tip is I put so see,
Speaker 1: I enjoyed my laundry experience. I saw it drops of
Speaker 1: vanilla essential oil. That's all I could think of, was
Speaker 1: vanilla ectually. Okay, vanilla essential oil. And it's a little
Speaker 1: dropper and I drop it onto the balls and then
Speaker 1: I put them in there. And then your laundry smells
Speaker 1: like whatever essential oil you want, which I opted for vanilla,
Speaker 1: And I think that's a lovely scent because my laundry
Speaker 1: is very boring now that my skin is sensitive so
Speaker 1: to avoid the rash that I was getting, I have
Speaker 1: unscented plain the detergent and no dryer sheets. So I
Speaker 1: love that the little vanilla essential oil on the balls
Speaker 1: helps my laundry. It's like more fun. Like every load
Speaker 1: I go in there and I give it a new
Speaker 1: little drop.
Speaker 3: Arm this book listening to this book called The Tenant.
Speaker 3: I'm reading this book listening to this book called The
Speaker 3: Tenant by Freedom McFadden. And I'm bringing this up because
Speaker 3: he is allergic to every like what's it called logiturgent,
Speaker 3: and somebody's sabotaging him by pouring out his detergent and
Speaker 3: pouring in lemon scented detergent and it's giving him a
Speaker 3: very large rash. Just this is fiction, yes, okay, yes,
Speaker 3: but that's how they're like, if you ever want to
Speaker 3: sabotage Amy, switch out her, No, because.
Speaker 1: I would open it up and I would smell the limon. Okay.
Speaker 3: That's why I was like, Okay, this is not like
Speaker 3: he would smell that his clothes smell good. But you know,
Speaker 3: Patrick likes to say suspend disbelief.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of something my daughter wanted to do.
Speaker 1: My son claims to be lactose intolerant and we mean claims, well,
Speaker 1: we've never had it tested, but he self diagnosed him,
Speaker 1: so I roll with it. You want the Lactaid or
Speaker 1: the A two milk like which is lactose free or
Speaker 1: easier to digest on your stomach, so we buy that,
Speaker 1: and then Sashia has her normal milk and they both
Speaker 1: go through enough of the milk to where they can
Speaker 1: each other own or whatever. So it's fine. But Sashiro's like,
Speaker 1: I have one of my containers and he has an
Speaker 1: empty one. Can I pour my milk into his lactaid
Speaker 1: milk and watch him drink it for a week and
Speaker 1: see if he has a reaction, because if he doesn't
Speaker 1: react and it's mental like because he sees it in
Speaker 1: the specific container, then we'll know, like if he's not like, oh, mom,
Speaker 1: my stomach hurts or a mom, I have to go
Speaker 1: to the bathroom or I'm itchy, you know. And I
Speaker 1: was like, Sashira, I can't do that. I love your
Speaker 1: little plan here, but that seems cruel, and she's like smart,
Speaker 1: she goes, I'm telling you, I'm not wrong. It's not
Speaker 1: real and I don't know and I should probably take
Speaker 1: the time to get it officially.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a better way is to actually test it. But
Speaker 3: I mean she's been creative. Yes, it's sounds very sisterly.
Speaker 1: Yes, So I just that made me think about the
Speaker 1: switching out without him, and I couldn't allow it.
Speaker 3: But she does do that one day without your permission.
Speaker 1: She may have, like I don't know, she already did it.
Speaker 1: Who knows if she has. He's fine, Yeah, he's okay.
Speaker 1: Dryer balls bull Dryer balls offer several benefits, including reducing
Speaker 1: drying time, softening clothes, minimizing static cling, and helping reduce sprinkles.
Speaker 3: So I need to get those because I stopped using
Speaker 3: dryer sheets. Yeah, but now my clothes are just really staticky.
Speaker 1: Sometimes mine still are. But again, maybe I don't have
Speaker 1: enough balls in there. But to refresh your balls, I
Speaker 1: need to google laundry load and number of balls because
Speaker 1: then if I only have one or two, and maybe
Speaker 1: it needed for because they come in like a six pack.
Speaker 1: So I have and they're sneaky little suckers because they
Speaker 1: get caught in sleeves and they in sheet so then
Speaker 1: they end up upstairs because if the kids put them
Speaker 1: in their laundry basket and then they never so they
Speaker 1: or Kara my dog starts playing with them. So it's
Speaker 1: just gonna have extra on hand. Oh okay, Shannon says,
Speaker 1: here for larger loads, you do need five or six balls.
Speaker 1: How I do you have? I normally only do like
Speaker 1: two or three miles. I mean I have more, but
Speaker 1: maybe that's why I've got the static. This is riveting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are post this episode two. Your friends.
Speaker 1: Share this with at least one person in your life,
Speaker 1: because it's gonna change everything. Clothing, it's gonna change everything.
Speaker 1: Or maybe they have a rash because I lived with
Speaker 1: my rash for a long time thinking it was something else.
Speaker 3: That's how life is.
Speaker 1: I now bathe an unscented soap, which Chase is staying
Speaker 1: in my house, and you're probably gonna be like in
Speaker 1: the guests side guest bathroom, Well, it's all I had.
Speaker 1: I just have these bars of soap, and I was
Speaker 1: out of body washing air and I wanted to like
Speaker 1: put a fresh towel in there for Chase and make
Speaker 1: sure that shampoo conditioner like whatever. And then I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: and here's a boring box of soap unscented playing to
Speaker 1: be really disappointed. You get your own bar.
Speaker 3: He's like, I'm going to a hotel, this place, socks this,
Speaker 3: what is this?
Speaker 1: And unscented laundry my sheet? These sheets don't laundry mat Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know so, but but someone else out there, they
Speaker 1: may have a rash and they may be like what
Speaker 1: do I do? And this is gonna potentially help them.
Speaker 1: You need to just decent your life.
Speaker 3: It reminds me of when I like got glasses for
Speaker 3: the first time. I thought that's how everybody saw and
Speaker 3: I remember putting glasses on and I could see it
Speaker 3: an assembly and I was like, oh no, you can
Speaker 3: see the people talking. They're doing a bunny race too,
Speaker 3: and I was like, you can people can see the
Speaker 3: bunnies up there.
Speaker 1: So wait, how is this?
Speaker 3: It makes sense to make out like you thought that
Speaker 3: like life was just this way you had to live
Speaker 3: with this rash and then you're like, no, people are
Speaker 3: rap free, and then yeah, it's the same same. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's definitely the same. Anyway, one thing, wait, are
Speaker 1: we still on our put Okay? And here this is
Speaker 1: back to the dryer balls. This is the Feeling Things podcast.
Speaker 1: And also what I think you'll notice in this if
Speaker 1: you do this activity with your friend or your partner
Speaker 1: or your kids. Is it's like you learn things about
Speaker 1: each other, but also conversations come up, feelings come up,
Speaker 1: and this is just a way to add more of
Speaker 1: that into your life. A little activity there which you
Speaker 1: know that girl, Chelsea explains on I think I showed
Speaker 1: her to you. You are the one that introduced me
Speaker 1: to her, Yes, you are.
Speaker 3: I found her on b there in five.
Speaker 1: Okay, well she popped up with some hack. She's all
Speaker 1: about hacks, like everything's a hack, and she's like, and
Speaker 1: this is like a fun hack. She's like, it's something
Speaker 1: my friends and I used to do back in college
Speaker 1: when the nights were just mundane, like everything was starting
Speaker 1: to feel the same and we wanted to spice things
Speaker 1: up so they would be out. And they started playing
Speaker 1: instead of Truth or Dare Dare or Dare Stop It,
Speaker 1: Stop It?
Speaker 3: Did she really do this? Yeah, if my friends are listening,
Speaker 3: they're gonna freak out.
Speaker 1: Why did y'all play there or Dare?
Speaker 3: Because my favorite game is truth or Truth? Oh but man,
Speaker 3: my friends won't play it with me. I'm like, okay, guys,
Speaker 3: it's got time for truth or truth and They're like,
Speaker 3: we don't want to do the truth, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: well then pick a truth. They don't want to do
Speaker 3: a truth, so I just play with myself, so.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's another way to do it. So there's
Speaker 1: truth or dare, and I guess there is an option
Speaker 1: of truth or truth.
Speaker 3: But nobody usually wants to do the dares.
Speaker 1: Well. She explained it like with when you're out with
Speaker 1: your friends, dare or dare is fun because there are
Speaker 1: rules around it, like you can't do something so ridiculous
Speaker 1: or something that is hurtful to anybody. It's supposed to
Speaker 1: be lighthearted and fun. Like a dare might be I
Speaker 1: dare you to walk up to that person and just
Speaker 1: give them a compliment, to be genuine, like oh, I
Speaker 1: really love your and that might be uncomfortable for someone
Speaker 1: to be like I love your shoes, or the next
Speaker 1: guy or girl that walks by you have to say, hey,
Speaker 1: love your outfit, or hey, so good to see you.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's innocent but still spices things up and
Speaker 1: then sort of has a snowball effect like you never
Speaker 1: know where it's gonna lead, sort of like this activity,
Speaker 1: this check in, we don't know where it's gonna lead.
Speaker 3: I'll see if my friends will pay dare or dare.
Speaker 3: If you were to be playing truth or dare, what
Speaker 3: are you picking?
Speaker 1: What depends?
Speaker 3: I mean, sorry, if you're if you're playing truth ordare?
Speaker 3: Did I say dare?
Speaker 1: You don't say truth or dare? And I said it
Speaker 1: depends because I would with it. Maybe probably who I'm with,
Speaker 1: how comfortable I feel telling a truth to them, depending
Speaker 1: on what the question is going to be. And then
Speaker 1: I guess if the dare is safe, like it's just
Speaker 1: supposed to be a fun dare, I probably choose the
Speaker 1: dare because that might lead to more laughter and fun.
Speaker 1: And you know me, I'm a fun person.
Speaker 3: I'm on, we should have a dare dare Knight.
Speaker 1: Oh so this makes me think of something that could
Speaker 1: have been a dare.
Speaker 3: Oh so you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Okay, the guy that came up to me, Okay, so
Speaker 1: I was out with my kids. We went to church and.
Speaker 3: Then we went to date.
Speaker 1: It could have been a dare or dare. Okay, because
Speaker 1: the way this happened, it was so bizarre.
Speaker 3: Because I'm with my kids.
Speaker 1: I could see him being around the corner with his buddy,
Speaker 1: I dare you to go up to her wall. She's
Speaker 1: with her kids, Like, how awkward that would that be?
Speaker 1: And he comes up and in front of the kids,
Speaker 1: gives me his card and says he doesn't know my situation.
Speaker 1: Obviously I don't have a wedding ring on. But he's like,
Speaker 1: I hope you call, and I just like took the
Speaker 1: cards off those I didn't know. I mean, he said
Speaker 1: something else, but I think I'm too embarrassed to say it.
Speaker 3: And he said it in front of you. No stop
Speaker 3: staring at you? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Why is that a lie?
Speaker 3: Is that a lie?
Speaker 1: Did your toxic boyfriend say that to you? No? Oh,
Speaker 1: but I'm with my son and daughter, which maybe he
Speaker 1: doesn't he didn't know they were my kids, but in
Speaker 1: front of my kids, hand me a card and say
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop looking at you inside.
Speaker 3: There, like wait, looking at you or staring at you?
Speaker 1: They feel looking Maybe we need to pull one of
Speaker 1: the kids in and ask I couldn't stop looking at him,
Speaker 1: you said staring because staring would sound creepy. He was like,
Speaker 1: I couldn't stop looking at you in there, like in
Speaker 1: the restaurant, And then so do you.
Speaker 3: Think he knew who you were, No, because he didn't
Speaker 3: know my name? What were you wearing?
Speaker 1: My church clothes? Very like like I'm going to describe
Speaker 1: it and you're be like, wow, what is your religion?
Speaker 1: It is a very long skirt with a white shirt
Speaker 1: and a cardigan over it, and my hair back in
Speaker 1: a bun like so and sandals. So yeah, my toes
Speaker 1: were showing. Yeah, but he didn't say like, he didn't say.
Speaker 1: He didn't say I couldn't stop looking at your feet.
Speaker 3: Well, that would be weird, I can.
Speaker 1: Anyway, he gave me a card.
Speaker 3: What did you feel like?
Speaker 1: Shocked that someone would do that in front of my kids?
Speaker 3: I don't think that's so he was shooting a shot.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think you shoot your shot in front of
Speaker 1: the kids.
Speaker 3: Okay, I do not know your situation.
Speaker 1: What if Stevensan's like, oh what if I was married?
Speaker 1: And she was like, ah, she's with my dad.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's okay, that's weird too. But when my friends
Speaker 3: just told me about a story where her brother saw
Speaker 3: somebody at like a deli of sorts and she he
Speaker 3: was with his kids, and she was with her kids
Speaker 3: and her family, and he wrote his number down and
Speaker 3: gave it to her and she called, Okay, well, he
Speaker 3: that's bold. I think it's it could be weird, but
Speaker 3: luckily well.
Speaker 1: Speaking of my kids' dads, I can't share this story exactly.
Speaker 1: This is not mine to tell. But my ex husband
Speaker 1: is dating somewhere around and they got together in a
Speaker 1: very interesting way. My ex husband is dating somewhere around
Speaker 1: and they got together in a very interesting way.
Speaker 3: Oh, like very I have to get this story, but
Speaker 3: it's so crazy. I guess I kind of did that too.
Speaker 1: You did, so hey, it's more of a coming come back.
Speaker 3: Okay, wait with us. So you felt shocked? Were you flattered? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean I think anybody would be flattered by that.
Speaker 1: Unless now I'm thinking it was a dare or dare.
Speaker 3: What time of day was it was after church?
Speaker 1: Yes, so probably one o'clock. You know he's there, dare,
Speaker 1: dare with a friendly way, brave, But that could be
Speaker 1: a dare or dare to do do you see, like,
Speaker 1: if you're out with your friends and your single whatever,
Speaker 1: it's harmless, or if nobody's gonna get hurt, you'd be like,
Speaker 1: you have to go up to this guy and give
Speaker 1: him your business card and be like, but then they
Speaker 1: have your information, so that's dangerous.
Speaker 3: Fake one. Oh yeah, find somebody else's business card.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then that's then they call that person.
Speaker 3: It's like, you give me your number, and they're like
Speaker 3: when I didn't, Oh yeah, that's good. Yeah. Wait, that'sn't mean.
Speaker 3: That's mean, don't do that.
Speaker 1: I don't have the card. Because then later I went
Speaker 1: and met up with my boyfriend and his family and
Speaker 1: my kids. We went celebrate and I was getting something
Speaker 1: out of my bag and I'd put the business card
Speaker 1: in my bag and I pulled it out. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was only a few hours later. I wasn't keeping it.
Speaker 3: Wait, you didn't say like, oh I'm seeing somebody. I did.
Speaker 3: I froze.
Speaker 1: I froze. I really didn't say anything. I just said oh.
Speaker 1: I kept looking at Stevens and Sashira and I looked
Speaker 1: at him and it happened so fast, and I was
Speaker 1: like okay, and I just put it in my bag
Speaker 1: and then we walked away. And then and when I
Speaker 1: walked away, I felt bad. I was like, oh my gosh, Like,
Speaker 1: why didn't I say I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: Yelled back at him, I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I thought about that. I thought about that because we
Speaker 1: were walking away, and I was like, I feel bad,
Speaker 1: like I should.
Speaker 3: Have said that.
Speaker 1: And now when I tell Alex the story, he's like, well,
Speaker 1: what'd you say? And I would be like, I said nothing,
Speaker 1: And then he's going to be like, why wouldn't you
Speaker 1: say I have a boyfriend? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I literally just froze.
Speaker 3: What'd your kids say?
Speaker 1: They were just like looking at me and they're like
Speaker 1: that was weird, Like they didn't they did not understand.
Speaker 1: They were like what So either his was dare or dare.
Speaker 1: But the cute part of this is so my husband
Speaker 1: shoot my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: We came to tally of how many times. That's only
Speaker 3: the second time, I know, But we haven't been doing
Speaker 3: this very long.
Speaker 1: Apparently if I do it, anywhere between eighteen and two
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty days to have it. But I that's
Speaker 1: only the second time that's ever happened. And we've been
Speaker 1: talking about my ex husband and my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: It happens, and it's a mistake. And my admirer at lunch,
Speaker 3: So your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend has kids and connecting with them, especially his
Speaker 1: daughter has been very important to me. Their mom passed away.
Speaker 1: She was the whole and very well, that was very close.
Speaker 1: They were all close to their mom, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: but she was older and closest and that was her mom.
Speaker 1: So also her being now much older and almost seventeen, like,
Speaker 1: it's not like she's ever going to have a step mom.
Speaker 3: Well she could, but I mean wouldn't be this.
Speaker 1: It's not the same type of relationship. I think as
Speaker 1: like the twelve year old who I never had, Like
Speaker 1: she's like to her her mom.
Speaker 3: She has a mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we've had talks. I'm not trying to be
Speaker 1: that role, but I mean I want to be a
Speaker 1: bonus mom. Sure, however you want to look at it all.
Speaker 1: That's just part of the details in case we have
Speaker 1: any new listeners that know that that relationship is very
Speaker 1: important to me. But I've been careful with it and
Speaker 1: well I've even heard from other listeners that have been
Speaker 1: in my situation where it's like coming in as the
Speaker 1: next mom is a It's an interesting thing that you
Speaker 1: don't get until you are actually trying to do it,
Speaker 1: and we're not even engage so you're married. So I'm
Speaker 1: just clarifying that I'm around the kids enough. And I
Speaker 1: pulled out the business card at dinner and she was like, wait,
Speaker 1: what's this and I was like, oh, this guy gave
Speaker 1: it to me.
Speaker 3: It was so weird.
Speaker 1: So I told Alex the story because I wanted him
Speaker 1: to know, like, I'm not going to do anything.
Speaker 3: With it, but here it is.
Speaker 1: And she grabbed it and she ripped it up and
Speaker 1: she was like, you're not going to be needing that.
Speaker 3: And I just thought that that was so.
Speaker 1: Cute and it warmed yes of like, I like you
Speaker 1: for my dad and for our family, So I'm going
Speaker 1: to rip this up and so thank you for random guy.
Speaker 3: Well, if she was like you should call him, could.
Speaker 1: You imagine that would be a sign. That would be
Speaker 1: a sign of like, oh, you'll probably hold on to that.
Speaker 1: You could see a teenager that was really if they
Speaker 1: were really struggling and like didn't like you, they might
Speaker 1: be like, I wouldn't lose that, did you? Really?
Speaker 3: Yeah, keep it in a safe place.
Speaker 1: Give him a call. You're not for my dad, you know.
Speaker 1: But instead she ripped it up and she said you
Speaker 1: don't need this, and it made me very while the
Speaker 1: houner made me feel weird. Especially because I made it
Speaker 1: more weird walking away without saying I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: It was all worth it because I had that moment
Speaker 1: with her, which probably to her it was just like
Speaker 1: a silly you know, but it meant a lot to me,
Speaker 1: and maybe one day I'll get to share that with her.
Speaker 1: I don't think she's a listener.
Speaker 3: You never know. I don't. I don't think we have
Speaker 3: a lot of least teenagers say thank you to What
Speaker 3: did you say thank you to the guy?
Speaker 1: Honestly, we'd have to ask the kids, Like I think.
Speaker 3: I was just like, okay, talk to you later.
Speaker 1: I think what he said I could stop looking at.
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh.
Speaker 3: Really, I don't know. It was just weird.
Speaker 1: Okay, are we still on your check in?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, see you never know. Okay, come up and check ins.
Speaker 1: One thing I want to accomplish next month.
Speaker 3: Is can I do too? Do I permission to do too?
Speaker 1: You don't need permission.
Speaker 3: This is your game? Yeah, okay?
Speaker 1: Truth or truth? Dare or dare you do you?
Speaker 3: I am surprised I'm saying this because I like, this
Speaker 3: is your thing, and I've never really struggled with it.
Speaker 3: But I've been struggling drinking water, So I want to
Speaker 3: drink more water.
Speaker 1: It's my thing to struggle with water.
Speaker 3: It is your thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's my identity. I struggle with water.
Speaker 3: Okay, so that's one. But then more seriously, well, I
Speaker 3: guess that's serious. It's my health. You need water.
Speaker 1: I think you can live longer without food than you
Speaker 1: can without water. I'm just letting you know it is serious. Okay,
Speaker 1: water is serious, Like I think with water you need
Speaker 1: with how many days can you like three to five
Speaker 1: days without water? But you can go two weeks without food.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine not drinking anything for three I'm so
Speaker 3: thirsty right now talking about water.
Speaker 1: Okay, thirty days without food you can go, but only
Speaker 1: three to five days no water.
Speaker 3: Questions that don't come up.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, it's just a thought.
Speaker 3: This is just a recommendation I want to throw out
Speaker 3: there before I forget. It has nothing to do with anything.
Speaker 3: Everybody should read The Winter Garden, speaking of food and water.
Speaker 3: It's a great book. It's by Chris and Hannah, so
Speaker 3: it's historical fiction. You'll learn a little bit and you'll
Speaker 3: cry a little bit. It takes a little bit to
Speaker 3: get into the book. My favorite book to this what
Speaker 3: I've ever read?
Speaker 1: Era of history? Or you said it's historical?
Speaker 3: What are we going to learn about a certain war?
Speaker 3: Which war it's in the book? Oh, you can't say.
Speaker 1: That's okay? I started Family of Liars and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't tell you whose perspective it's from.
Speaker 3: That's a little different. I'm just like I learned so much.
Speaker 1: The Sister that got the Chin job, well, like probably
Speaker 1: World War two? No, no, World War one?
Speaker 3: No civil what is it? Christ and Hannah The Winter Garden.
Speaker 3: I will say. Second really good book by Kris Hannah
Speaker 3: is The Women, and that's about the Vietnam War. That
Speaker 3: is also really good. Okay, it's not a war, but
Speaker 3: it's like there's something going on historically.
Speaker 1: So the other yes, The Women, that is a very
Speaker 1: good book, and it isn't about Vietnam War.
Speaker 3: But this it's about a famine.
Speaker 1: Is good?
Speaker 3: Where were we? Sorry? As I.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna drink more water.
Speaker 3: And oh I want to answer people more timely.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, like I respond.
Speaker 3: Yes, because I will get an email or a text
Speaker 3: and I'll like, I'll answer this later and then it'll
Speaker 3: be a week later, and I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 3: I meant to answer that, but then it feels too
Speaker 3: late to then answer them, because then it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: what do I say now? And so then I don't
Speaker 3: answer them, and then if I need to text them,
Speaker 3: then the last text is them asking me a question, and.
Speaker 1: Then you know, yeah, you know, I hit it. I know,
Speaker 1: I'm I want.
Speaker 3: To be better at getting the text and being like
Speaker 3: you can answer this now, you got it, and then
Speaker 3: doing it. Maybe that should be my affirmation. You can
Speaker 3: answer people right away you want to.
Speaker 1: You are capable when you want to.
Speaker 3: That's my problem. Okay, anyway, that's okay, we finished, Yeah, yay,
Speaker 3: we did the check in.
Speaker 1: So see, this is a simple activity, so good. I mean,
Speaker 1: it'll be an hour long meal around the table, especially
Speaker 1: you can only do with two people. If you do
Speaker 1: it with more people, just carve out the time. But
Speaker 1: also you could make it rapid fire. But some of
Speaker 1: these people need to think about.
Speaker 3: I think if you are in a family and you
Speaker 3: want to implement this in your family, one person gets
Speaker 3: to go at night.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's good, and we'll never.
Speaker 3: Do it again.
Speaker 1: On you go on Tuesday, and then Timmy, you go on.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, got it?
Speaker 1: Cool, Chase, do you want to do the check in?
Speaker 1: I mean not right now, but like not right now,
Speaker 1: but like do would you see yourself doing the check in?
Speaker 1: It's like a fun activity.
Speaker 3: He can't say no, well, yes he could, yeah, yeah
Speaker 3: he can. Used are another? Is there another question you
Speaker 3: would add to the check in? Or swap or maybe
Speaker 3: swap out like you can swap out some questions?
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's pretty good.
Speaker 3: I like it. I like it.
Speaker 1: It's fun.
Speaker 3: So there you go.
Speaker 1: Check in dare are dare truth or truth wind? Where
Speaker 1: is Amy Bradley again? If you know anything called called
Speaker 1: yes called the FBI? Do you know back in the day? Well,
Speaker 1: I guess you saw this in the documentary Her family
Speaker 1: was on Doctor Phil. Yes, that's interesting.
Speaker 3: Do you like Doctor Phil? I used to? That makes sense? Tracks?
Speaker 1: That tracks? Okay, all right, Well, we hope you're having
Speaker 1: the day the day you need to have.