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Speaker 1: Hey, ho hig, welcome to Motherfucker's when it's one O.

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Speaker 1: How before we started this week's episode, I started it

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Speaker 1: where we are welcome to my year. I am saying

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Speaker 1: it's my year. I'm ready for to be ready for

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Speaker 1: it to be my year. But I want you guys

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Speaker 1: to be a part of my year as well as

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Speaker 1: you guys know. We are on tour, baby, so I

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Speaker 1: want to shout out. In twenty nineteen, we hit Philly,

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Speaker 1: d C. And Boston. But this month, motherfucker Janua are

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Speaker 1: what I can say, like Janiar Janier anyway, Jair, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna be in the Midwest. So January the eighteenth, we

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Speaker 1: will be a motherfucking Detroit, the modest city, and then

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Speaker 1: we're gonna go to Chicago, which what is it? What

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Speaker 1: do they call it? Was called the Bean, but that's

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Speaker 1: Boston shot right on January. Call it that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: for the shooter Chicago. I am for the lux shops,

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Speaker 1: the nice hotels, maybe even a Soho house. Visit bitch

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Speaker 1: shy Rack. I can stay, God damn because I'm still

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Speaker 1: looking scammers. God damn it. I got the money now,

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Speaker 1: but I still don't want to spend full price, um

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Speaker 1: so how me. Also, as you guys know, we sold

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Speaker 1: out motherfucking Sony Hall in eight days. Like that is

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Speaker 1: sucking lit. I'm so proud of the Oar Hive. Yes,

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Speaker 1: like yes, you guys and special announcing Braylon already said

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Speaker 1: she'll come to every show. She's gonna host it for free,

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Speaker 1: and we already started goddamn name. Also, so if you

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Speaker 1: guys have not yet get your tickets New York, we

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Speaker 1: have back to back shows, so that is January. In January,

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Speaker 1: we will be live at Sony Hall. We have a

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Speaker 1: lot of surprises for you. And Mandy is gonna not Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I honestly thought, you know, she wasn't gonna

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Speaker 1: do it. You guys have seen her, you know, promo

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Speaker 1: real and I was like, Mandy, I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: time and she was like, I don't do it. You

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Speaker 1: never said I was sucking gonna see still barely opening.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna get all of it. I'm not the mouth

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Speaker 1: coming to the show. Literally. Look it might be Texas.

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Speaker 1: We in Dallas and Houston, and I want you guys

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Speaker 1: to stay tuned because this month we will go ahead

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Speaker 1: and be dropping tickets for New Orleans. Toronto, Orlando, Atlanta, Charlotte,

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Speaker 1: when Charlotte. But we're gonna drop the days this month, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this has been a long ass ad. Just no,

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Speaker 1: pull the funk up. Um, We motherfucking comeing to your

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Speaker 1: motherfuck a city and I'm excited to see you guys,

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Speaker 1: so again, visit Horrible Decisions dot com and get your

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Speaker 1: motherfucking tickets now dot com. But okay, you know what,

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Speaker 1: let's get on with the show. So freaky. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: don't know what you're walking to. This is Horrible Decisions.

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Speaker 1: W h O r E. Look she see it. It's

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Speaker 1: spelled up there on the screen. I just said Mandy

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Speaker 1: was gonna hopefully stuck a dick on stage. I think

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Speaker 1: she's not shocked that it's horrid, you know. Anyways, guys,

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Speaker 1: welcome to yet another episode of Horrible Decisions in we

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Speaker 1: motherfucking made it. We're still here. I don't know how,

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Speaker 1: but we are, and I'm excited. God is good all

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Speaker 1: the time, even though we don't know which guy we're

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Speaker 1: talking about. Saw the guy asked you that Mandy me

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Speaker 1: get along in this episode, Lord Father guy, and I

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Speaker 1: ask you, Lord Father God, to tell old Bay and

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Speaker 1: Beard Bay and they bitches to keep me in prayer

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Speaker 1: in mercy, Lord, Father God, because I don't do this.

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Speaker 1: So this is what you're doing. And you just added

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Speaker 1: like you couldn't do this, and we did it on

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Speaker 1: the Patriots couldn't do it. Yeah, she's making fun of

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Speaker 1: the bit that that prays because fun. I'm just because

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Speaker 1: Lindy Goat cheated on her, but they were separated anyway. Yes,

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Speaker 1: any who, y'all know what it is. This is your girl,

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Speaker 1: Mandy v a K A full core pumps a K

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Speaker 1: a peg this motherfucker stallion ak peg Ryan a K

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Speaker 1: that bitch and I am pastor wheezy pastors mrs. I'm

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Speaker 1: doing anyway, y'all. We're joining by two lovely guests today,

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Speaker 1: one who is a returning guest, which is crazy because

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Speaker 1: you'll be come on like, oh, y'all need to have

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Speaker 1: on the show. She was on episode six. All right,

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Speaker 1: baby girl, I'm gonna get it together. I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: go live. I'm trying to be professional and it keeps falling.

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Speaker 1: Then we got to make it. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: I would like to know. Wait, could she introduce us though?

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Speaker 1: Suck it so episode six. You said that you have

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Speaker 1: never had an orgasm and you don't masturbate. What how

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Speaker 1: did you end up here again? And she's still my friend?

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Speaker 1: You're hilarious. I thought we'd have some progression. There was progression.

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Speaker 1: I got really on the cusp, like really close, and

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Speaker 1: it wasn't finisation. It was from oral and then it

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Speaker 1: just I didn't Adam. Maybe I didn't know what to

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Speaker 1: do or I didn't know how to release or relax

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Speaker 1: or whatever, but it's in your head. Yeah. I was like,

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Speaker 1: have you gotten a vibrator yet? I want to? Oh? There,

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Speaker 1: it is right there. Bro. I wanted to get her one,

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Speaker 1: and she said no, I think you should. What makes

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Speaker 1: you not watching me a vibrating toothbrush? It was like,

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Speaker 1: ha no. She was like, look, so wait, you got

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Speaker 1: right there? Wait? Why not are we talking to? Did?

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Speaker 1: We said? Well? I didn't. I said we had here.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna get to it in a second. But I

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Speaker 1: don't know. One more question, Bro, It's been two years

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Speaker 1: and I've really thought about this. Every time I see

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Speaker 1: you on my feet, I'm like, we need be someone

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Speaker 1: to come literally okay before we get integrated to Why

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Speaker 1: not the fucking vibrator because this will make you coming

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Speaker 1: in and it's feel like you gotta touch yourself with

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Speaker 1: fingers before its boys, I'm in my head. I don't

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable doing that. By the way, I love I

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Speaker 1: just love your nails. I was just speaking about you

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Speaker 1: where they were coming coming about me to my nails,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, with y'all don't see my friends

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Speaker 1: nails and I literally thought, yeah, but you're like, these

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Speaker 1: are these would not be put into assholes because these

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Speaker 1: are the stones that I'm scared will end up in

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Speaker 1: the nigga ship because it came off as I was.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if they have a sparkly ship, spark again

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Speaker 1: like bitch daring things giving, I was cooking and a

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Speaker 1: whole rhymes don't fell off. I said that she's gonna

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Speaker 1: come open the greens and I let them know until

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Speaker 1: I found it on the counter and I was like, Okay, bitch,

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Speaker 1: ain't go eat a Ryan stone this year. Um well, anyways, yes,

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Speaker 1: we are joined by my friend Comedia. Y'all may have

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Speaker 1: seen her on motherfucking Wall and out. Y'all may follow her. Hey,

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Speaker 1: y'all may know her from she had her own show

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Speaker 1: and got damn Zu, I want to keep going with

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Speaker 1: your accolades. She sells out her shows. She's on to

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Speaker 1: on tour like the Big Doll from Martin Lawrence this year.

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Speaker 1: I don't even talk about it, Girlcary girl. But everything

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Speaker 1: I've been one has gotten me to this point. I'm ready,

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Speaker 1: I'm prepared, and you know, I just hope I kill it.

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Speaker 1: So I'm excited because everything you need to think about

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Speaker 1: your trend to write when you're like wondering if you're

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Speaker 1: going to kill something like bitch, I've been lit this

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Speaker 1: whole time. What's going wrong? No, it's just the enemy

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Speaker 1: gets in your mind that you're not good enough. They're

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Speaker 1: not gonna laugh. You know, that's just negativity. And I'm

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Speaker 1: just someone is really in her bag and her makeup. One.

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Speaker 1: I just want to let you know this bitch just

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Speaker 1: handed us seven million lipsticks. One of them it's called

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Speaker 1: WiFi Bitch talks. You're my boy is one Lincoln Bio.

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Speaker 1: Should we tell them about the WiFi story? Stupid? No? No,

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Speaker 1: we like I love so. First of all, I am

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Speaker 1: behind have because side Skittles. This is my assistant, Skittles,

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Speaker 1: your stripper name, my manager, and this is my assistant,

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Speaker 1: my best friend of seventeen years, friends two or twelve.

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Speaker 1: I love it. It's a real friends and Okay, So

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Speaker 1: there was a color It's called WiFi w I f I,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, it's WiFi, but I'll be

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Speaker 1: cool and call it. It'll be called wife. And she's like,

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Speaker 1: when people read it, they're say, it's like it's pronounced.

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Speaker 1: She's like, no one's gonna know that. She didn't sell capitalized.

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Speaker 1: The problem is the capitalization exactly. Yeah. When I looked

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Speaker 1: at it, I was like, it's not gonna work. It's

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Speaker 1: not gonna the colors critic, thank you, and all my

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Speaker 1: favorite colors it is, I think the other one that

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Speaker 1: I really like. I'm I know there's some niggas listening

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Speaker 1: to this and you don't want to hear about no listing,

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Speaker 1: but which one I just put on? There was little

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Speaker 1: freestyle Lincoln Bio that made me feel like a slut

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Speaker 1: just the name and color alone. It was very fly

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Speaker 1: me out, very fly you gotta come out with it,

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Speaker 1: fly me out color out. That gotta be like a

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Speaker 1: whole red. Actually that's a great color name too. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I walked into us the four once and this isn't

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Speaker 1: true story. Um, I was a little tipsy. It wasn't

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Speaker 1: so after a happy hour and I looked at her

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm looking for a red bright red,

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Speaker 1: a dark red, like in between, like a whole red.

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Speaker 1: And she looked me dead in the face and was like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I got it and she took me

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Speaker 1: to color pop perfect. I think it was Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: you have a hole ass red and is beautiful. It's

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Speaker 1: maybe ground. Well, I'm glad you're here. We're gonna start

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Speaker 1: off a little icebreakers because I know you you kind

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Speaker 1: of don't know what you really want to read. Is

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Speaker 1: that god fearing wife, mother of three? Don't scare my

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Speaker 1: friend out fear? Well, these are just icebreakers. Okay. So

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Speaker 1: the first at ease, especially going into would you rather

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Speaker 1: have sex in five minute increments for the rest of

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Speaker 1: your life or five hour increments for the rest of

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Speaker 1: your five hour? You want to five hour really long,

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Speaker 1: like I've been drying out five minutes. I was like,

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Speaker 1: maybe you gotta come. I'm sorry, did you just say

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Speaker 1: yes to five hours over five? I don't want to

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Speaker 1: work for five five minutes? But I wouldn't want that

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Speaker 1: in real life. If I had to choose between those two,

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Speaker 1: I would choose five hours. If you had to choose,

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Speaker 1: let me just say it one more time, if you

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Speaker 1: had to choose for the rest of your life, any

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Speaker 1: time you chose to engage in sex, it would last

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Speaker 1: five minutes or five I have five hours sex, and

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Speaker 1: so five minutes they you will fall off before that time.

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Speaker 1: I like that, What about five minutes? Five minutes? Now,

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Speaker 1: I just like, I'm married. She's married as ready in

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds. So the next one is. And this is

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Speaker 1: kind of which it's choosing the lesser of both evils,

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Speaker 1: because I think both of these suck. But would you

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Speaker 1: rather only be able to have sex in showers or

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Speaker 1: only be able to have sex in a car? Car? Car? Really,

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Speaker 1: you look like a car shower sex car girl? You

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Speaker 1: do them titties look like being in the car. See.

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Speaker 1: I think shower sex is hard because you can't really

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Speaker 1: feel Yeah, I feel like no, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy because I thought of this, But now that

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Speaker 1: y'all are saying it, I guess I would carry I'd

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Speaker 1: be like going to get my hair done and I'm like, damn,

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Speaker 1: shower sex. I ain't never black cracking out the shower black.

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Speaker 1: It's hair dye. When I went to do the Rihanna

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Speaker 1: Red go a couple, You're everywhere the red everywhere everywhere.

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Speaker 1: I want to add a hotel, you know. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's not let me write a note, not my peah. No,

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Speaker 1: I was just I was just in Puerto Rico and

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Speaker 1: I got real drunk, of course, and so I ordered

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Speaker 1: like this. It was a hard shell chocolate over like

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Speaker 1: ice cream. Well, bitch, they forgot my spoon and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't gonna wait for them. So I'm eating a hard

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Speaker 1: shell and ice cream with my with my hands, so

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Speaker 1: but I'm wiping it on the sheets I wake up

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Speaker 1: in the morning. It kind of looked like a little bad.

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Speaker 1: I really want to say. I hope she noticed the chocolate.

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Speaker 1: I'm having no anal sex, I promise, Okay. So this

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Speaker 1: one I wanted, um just for us to have fun

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Speaker 1: with celebrities. So I want to go around the table

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Speaker 1: just yeah, because as long as it's we know she

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Speaker 1: gonna say the baby goddamn. So this is a fun

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Speaker 1: Mary kill. What celebrities would you fuck? Mary and kill?

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Speaker 1: And I want to shout out to Mary to medicine

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Speaker 1: because I got this game. While they were on the

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Speaker 1: little are you gonna give us a list and we

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Speaker 1: just have to say you get to three kill Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to give three yeah, Like I wanted all

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Speaker 1: of us to say different ones because they know you'll

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Speaker 1: kill whoever you want. You'll kill trump. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna call with someone different, so you give three options, right,

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Speaker 1: like we all say, right, okay, fine, okay, well I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna make it. Okay, so carry your kills. Can't be

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Speaker 1: the baby, damn all gonna because because we want to

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Speaker 1: fun game, not like cheating answers. I would not kill

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Speaker 1: the baby. I wouldn't Mary, Okay, so look look now

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Speaker 1: be getting I love that, don't do the baby. After

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Speaker 1: he picked up that girl in the seven Liven, I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, you know, look he walked around with

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Speaker 1: big dig energy, like he's this big and he walked

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Speaker 1: around like, what's up. I'm not nobody to me. Maybe

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Speaker 1: you haven't came because God is saving your fucking first

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Speaker 1: orgasm for him. When when okay, I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: ok the celebrities that I think everyone kind of agrees

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Speaker 1: or kind of agrees to disagree. Okay, so fun Mary

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Speaker 1: kill um Barack Obama, Nick Cannon and fuck that Trey song. Okay, sorry, Michelle,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry you want to from Barack Obama. I would

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Speaker 1: marry Nick Cannon, and I would kill Tray. Okay. I

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Speaker 1: love Trey, that's that's the homie. But Trey is too

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Speaker 1: much and it Cannon is like I've never dealt with

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Speaker 1: Nick Cannon, him being my boss, but I know girls

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Speaker 1: that have dealt with him, and he's very like passionate.

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Speaker 1: He takes care of the women. He's very you know,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't do it. I forgot that Nick was

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Speaker 1: your bass. Yeah, I'm like, oh ship, but yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: what about that until it started? Um, I would definitely

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Speaker 1: kill Nick Cannon. No, no shape, just but I've always

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Speaker 1: found him to be like a little too cheesy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and like with women too, from what I've heard. Okay,

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Speaker 1: but I heard his dick is like to his knee

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Speaker 1: cap or something like that. I don't care big dicks

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Speaker 1: a cheesy package. No, I'm good. I can come to

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Speaker 1: Niga with a big dick. But if you like corny on,

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Speaker 1: I don't suck some corny niggas with big old dicks.

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Speaker 1: And I'll just be like, all right, don't talk after

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Speaker 1: Mary Barack because regal pussy, you know, say, I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to get the stamp of approval. Plus I would love

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Speaker 1: to play step mom, so like you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like I just I know, but like I saw one

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Speaker 1: of them smoking weed and I'd be like, listen, this

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Speaker 1: is how you gotta get down bitch underground parties and

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Speaker 1: then you know, I would love to have a nice

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Speaker 1: like an ex wife encounter with Michelle, Like, yeah, you

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Speaker 1: would Petty then try songs? Are you allowed to answer

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Speaker 1: this because you're married? Who are gonna Mary kill? I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's the game. I would kill Trey songs, Okay for sure, Jesus, Um,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't marry Brock and you would. I would suck Nick. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: I can pun with you all my name you. Um,

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Speaker 1: I would funk all of them in real life. Um,

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Speaker 1: that would be fun. I think they all would bring

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Speaker 1: something different to the bedroom. Seriously, um rock sexes. I

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Speaker 1: be tearing, you know, but I feel like Barrock, you

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Speaker 1: know what, because I didn't dealt with niggas who wear

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Speaker 1: suits and ship and maybe you don't times coupling. How

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Speaker 1: you gonna lie one like he wore suits to work,

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Speaker 1: and so he used to go into the bathroom because

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Speaker 1: his pants felt really good on his dick, so he

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Speaker 1: would get a little print. I would sex him at work,

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Speaker 1: so he would like show me his print through his pants.

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Speaker 1: So I really like niggas who are so I feel

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Speaker 1: like it would be nasty and kinky. So Barrock, Um,

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Speaker 1: you know, of course I would marry Barack. Um, I

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Speaker 1: would kill honestly, I know he'll boss. But it's like

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Speaker 1: like that movie with Christina Mili yawn. And then there's

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Speaker 1: disc to Eminem and claiming Eminem is in the KKKA.

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Speaker 1: There's just a lot when that's so crazy, just said

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Speaker 1: Eminem's name. I just started a list of three white

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Speaker 1: people for Mark. It was I just did my first

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Speaker 1: sexty encounter. Wow, we may have to how did how

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Speaker 1: did that go? Get finished? Okay? And then we'll get

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Speaker 1: it okay. And then of course it was, um, oh

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Speaker 1: could you read you read? No? No? Because I read

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Speaker 1: it back like, who am so here? Did I ever

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Speaker 1: send your usaid? Just too? Because so my our mutual friend,

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Speaker 1: she used to day a guy who was in jail,

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Speaker 1: and she didn't know how to write nasty to that nigga,

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Speaker 1: So I used you would do it. I would, but

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Speaker 1: I think it was sexing me back and didn't even

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Speaker 1: know what it was. He thought it was right, So

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Speaker 1: like I would copy and paste if she copy because

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Speaker 1: he had a jail Like he had a cell phone

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Speaker 1: in jail. Jake, he's talking my humble. I read it,

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Speaker 1: thank you. So she would. She would literally copy and paste,

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Speaker 1: but he would send back and she'd be like, okay,

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Speaker 1: we don't respond back. So I'm literally sitting here sex

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Speaker 1: and her nigga. Youah. Now, thank god she didn't go

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Speaker 1: too far because he's gonna be like, but you want

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Speaker 1: to peg me to fun? Okay, Okay, I knew the limits.

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Speaker 1: God damn it. Okay. For the three raps, you guys

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Speaker 1: are gonna be so fissed. First one do I well,

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Speaker 1: I know post Malone machine gunn kill you Eem he's

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Speaker 1: the only white want Mary post Malone kill eminem Mary

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Speaker 1: post Malone cool? He has a gut? Isn't he's cool? What? No?

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Speaker 1: Do not call him slow? Any marriage is we're not

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Speaker 1: thinking physical, We're thinking normal. That's me. You got to

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Speaker 1: think physical. I mean, yeah, but I'm keep saying you

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Speaker 1: just want to once Mary is like, are you killing em?

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Speaker 1: So I would um yes, kill himinem as well. I

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Speaker 1: would fuck shoot out a machine gun Kelly, and then

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Speaker 1: I would know Oh no, my bad, No, Mary, I'm Mary.

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Speaker 1: You can't see that. Have you guys seen a picture

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Speaker 1: of post Malone. He's ugly. I'm not. I don't even

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Speaker 1: want to Okay, I'll post malone, Mary, machine gun Kelly,

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Speaker 1: and I'm only fucking post Malone if you give me

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Speaker 1: a check is evident. Why are we trying to kill

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Speaker 1: this thing? It's like that a real thing? What because

335
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: like I need to kill post Maloney's ugly as time?

336
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Speaker 1: Are you keep saying for a check man? This game?

337
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 1: This isn't for a check first ability kill? For my god,

338
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 1: he's a fat, curly fat shade hair about publicity because

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Speaker 1: this is two years ago, we're the same side. I

340
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:30,080
Speaker 1: was postible two years ago. I was now I want

341
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Speaker 1: to uh diet Hill. He has two tattoos. Will Smith

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00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:42,880
Speaker 1: quite so bitch. I'm definitely definitarian Will with Jada because

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Speaker 1: we're gonna know no, and I've said that that's my

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Speaker 1: dream threesome couple. Really, Oh my god, Jada and I

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Speaker 1: will because who Yeah, I feel like that's most people. No, No,

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Speaker 1: Jada for sure. Jada is like will Will guy, Will,

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Speaker 1: That's fine. I told you he ain't got to talk

348
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,879
Speaker 1: out to. And I heard Jason, well that's it. But

349
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 1: I heard the into like some swinging, nasty Sha Taylor

350
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 1: and her husband ship would be that would be like

351
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Speaker 1: people right, Sorry, I would never do it. I really

352
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 1: wanted to worry about be samone. That's why I listened

353
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:30,160
Speaker 1: to this podcast. And these bitches are horsing with her

354
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:37,199
Speaker 1: um and wallet. She was directing her swag. I'm like,

355
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Speaker 1: I just love you. I don't really hear many women

356
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:41,760
Speaker 1: I think that have that much depth to their voice

357
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 1: and like, are still sexy to us, you know what

358
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And even her features are very you know

359
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,199
Speaker 1: some they're masculine, you know, she's a little androgym. But

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Speaker 1: it's weird because it's like I felt that so many

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Speaker 1: times too, Like are you dying? Can you not die

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00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 1: before your martin Lawrence? Her? What's happening? This is sparkling

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00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 1: water Sparkler. Uh, well, we're gonna go ahead and get

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00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 1: into our vanilla ship, our vanilla ships segment um, which

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Speaker 1: will remain in unlike other segments we've done in the past.

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Speaker 1: Um is our sex in the news. And I found

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Speaker 1: this article UM that I really liked. UM. And it's

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Speaker 1: from the New York Post, and it says that nearly

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Speaker 1: half of Americans claim they had the best sex of

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Speaker 1: their life in YESO, so that's what we're gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about it to be. That's gonna say. So of people

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Speaker 1: rate nineteen is their best sex yere um for sex yet.

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Speaker 1: The poll of two thousand sexually active Americans also discovered

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Speaker 1: nearly half forty seven percent say that their sex was

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Speaker 1: better in two thousand nineteen than any other year. It

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00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 1: was a year for experimenting, as one in six Americans

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Speaker 1: tried phone sex for the very first time, and a

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Speaker 1: further tried using a sex toy for the first time.

379
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Speaker 1: Um you love to beach Um. They also say that

380
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Speaker 1: results found from having anal sex for the very first time,

381
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,040
Speaker 1: using handcuffs and blindfolds are having a sexy photo shoot.

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Speaker 1: Thirty eight percent of those survey became more adventurous with

383
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Speaker 1: sex in twenty nineteen. I am gonna sit here and

384
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Speaker 1: say that that's because so many people listen to horrible decisions.

385
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna toot my own horn. Not what

386
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 1: I mean, um so, not what I mean. It says

387
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Speaker 1: that seventy are happy with their sex lives. So I

388
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: wanted to bring this up because I think that nineteen

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00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 1: was a year where I think I've had the most

390
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: three simes I've ever had, but also because I was

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00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: and I think in the beginning of the year we

392
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: don't anymore. But in the beginning of twenty nineteen, I

393
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,680
Speaker 1: was just surprised at even though we had been sucking

394
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Speaker 1: for so long, how he kept getting better. Yeah you know, girl,

395
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Speaker 1: And yeah I had I had loved that girl I

396
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,640
Speaker 1: was living through and it was I had my first

397
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: an orgasm. We'll talk to We talked about him, but Jesus,

398
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 1: he gave me. He gave me some of the best

399
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 1: thick in my life. Also one of my lovers. Um

400
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,919
Speaker 1: we on a trip where we had like three threesomes

401
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: together with like my friends, and it was I don't

402
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: know when you started saying, this is crazy, this is

403
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:16,720
Speaker 1: I love. You have always dragged me for seeing it. Lovers,

404
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: I always have said, and you were like lovers the niggas.

405
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,159
Speaker 1: I call him my lovers, and I appreciate it. I

406
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,359
Speaker 1: think it's a way better word than my hole. I like,

407
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:28,160
Speaker 1: I call him my hole too. I'm about to drop

408
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: Mercers says I love all my hopes because I do

409
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: love him, niggas. But but I would say that, like

410
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 1: I said, I talked about my annal orgasm that I

411
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: had for the very first time this year. Um, the

412
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,959
Speaker 1: threesomes and also just I think being in tune with

413
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: myself and the person that I was having sex with

414
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,719
Speaker 1: literally coming every single fucking time, and we would we

415
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 1: went three rounds every time. This is the person you

416
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: cut that I cut off, which is now why I'm

417
00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 1: missible because I have a fux in October. Don't do that, bitch.

418
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 1: I just looking at only thing. You know who it is? Right? Yeah,

419
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 1: I hate to shut up. He ain't goddamn anyway. I

420
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: mean it's fine. I don't know. I'd like to look

421
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 1: at him. Do we have? So what about your best

422
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 1: sex in my life? Okay? So I've been married for

423
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: ten years. So when I got married was nineteen or

424
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: I've been with my husband since I was nineteen, the

425
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: same deck, the same deck, what a fucking So I

426
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 1: would say that this year was the best sex of

427
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,399
Speaker 1: our lives and I think it's because I'm about to

428
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: turn thirties, so you know how you're supposed to get

429
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: into your prime. You look right now. I don't know

430
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:46,479
Speaker 1: if you'll can see a Magan looks like. I always

431
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: post her ask because her body is natural. She's had

432
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: that body literally sixth grades, always big hips and booty,

433
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 1: and I always post her. She's like, put it on

434
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: your close friends. Stop exploiting my body. I'm married, my husband.

435
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: Take your hands. I'm like, damn, what do you look like? Y'all?

436
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:09,399
Speaker 1: We have a three ways ship? No, okay, afraid of

437
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:13,119
Speaker 1: threesomes because I don't know what that will unlock for me. Okay,

438
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 1: do you have any attraction in women at all? Yeah? Yeah,

439
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 1: I mean I think that like I think sexually. I

440
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:23,320
Speaker 1: think sexuality is a spectrum, so you're a spectrum. But

441
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: I am attracted to females in the sense of, like,

442
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,719
Speaker 1: I think they're beautiful in my opinion, Like I know

443
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 1: a lot of people have them in frivolous ways, and

444
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: I have had frivolous threesomes, but like, what's the what's

445
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 1: frivolous again? Like just like, oh I met you in

446
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 1: a bar, But I think that when you have something

447
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 1: very deep with a partner. I don't think like like

448
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 1: you said, you don't know it unlocked for you, Like

449
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 1: I don't think you can have moments like that, Like

450
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: I really don't. There's there's two ways for it, right,

451
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,479
Speaker 1: you could have a frivolous three somewhere it's like no names,

452
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: no fluids exchange, rob Don, you're out right anonymous thing.

453
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 1: Or when you do have a deeper connection with someone,

454
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 1: sometimes it is better to like have it feel more

455
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: like a date and feel more like a chemistry connection,

456
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,359
Speaker 1: even if they are going to just leave after mainly

457
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: because you and your husband don't have sex like that,

458
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: or you don't have sex with other people like that,

459
00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:18,520
Speaker 1: So it's like, why are we going to do this

460
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: super raunchy thing together if this ain't really are lane

461
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: And it can be really hard. I've talked to a

462
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 1: lot of people so I was in a throuble, and

463
00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: I've talked about it on the show and have a

464
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: lot of threasons, and I've always have people ask me like,

465
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: how is my first one supposed to go? And it's

466
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: such a hard Yeah, with your partner, it's such a

467
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: hard question because I meet people that literally would rather

468
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: not know anything else about you, just suck you and did.

469
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: And then other people that are like, nah, that feels

470
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 1: dirty and slimy to me. We're like a friendship. So

471
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,040
Speaker 1: you you've been with your partner for ten years and

472
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into that for the horrible decision, But

473
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:59,479
Speaker 1: so how would you gauge is the best sex? I

474
00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:02,199
Speaker 1: think because we we've been through a lot in our

475
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:07,040
Speaker 1: marriage and there was a I'm sorry there was there

476
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,159
Speaker 1: was a point in time where, um, we weren't in

477
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,639
Speaker 1: a good spot and we weren't having sex and I

478
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I'm not giving that nigga nothing.

479
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: I'm not giving him this. You know, he don't deserve it.

480
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. You know. And so I

481
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 1: wouldn't have sex. And I'm not I'm not a sexual person.

482
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 1: I like sex, but for me, it is intimacy, like

483
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 1: I love passion, and you know what I'm saying, that

484
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: like intimate stuff. And he and you got asking me,

485
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like he's sexual, he's a man,

486
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: And for me, I didn't I thought sex had to

487
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:48,959
Speaker 1: be romantic every time, and it isn't that way. Especially

488
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 1: when you're married. It's damn sure, is it that? But

489
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to go on a sexual journey this year

490
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: and kind of see where I could go and the

491
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: dream man, so we just started trying. So we're still

492
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 1: in the beginning phase phases. But I do think that

493
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: it's important to try stuff up until you're not comfortable.

494
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,080
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. Like trying things could be

495
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: as easy as like saying something new and bid yeah,

496
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 1: and it can totally revamp your sex life. It's like

497
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: just a word, just saying something that you found a

498
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 1: good mix, like we found a good because I love

499
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 1: the romance, and so I would. My new thing was

500
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: I would buy lingerie every week. So I would buy lingerie.

501
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: Do you think, um, once a week? No, I would.

502
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: I would like it to be at least four or

503
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,720
Speaker 1: five times, but in reality it's probably two or three

504
00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: or three times a week a lot. You say this

505
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: year it was that way. It hasn't always been that way,

506
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: but this year, so that's amazing. I think that's great.

507
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 1: What about you? What you have? The nineteen was my

508
00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: most sexual year of my life. I have vowed I'm

509
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,080
Speaker 1: going to be cell abate in the next person I

510
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: have sex with will be my boyfriend. Girl me too.

511
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: I just telling I mean, no, let's let's telling me

512
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: about I'm talking about the free sex. I'm not gonna

513
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: unless they're gonna be my boyfriend. I think the next

514
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: person I gave my body. For those of you who

515
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 1: cannot see the YouTube, right now, I am sitting next

516
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: to Megan Mandy sitting in sevisamone and Mandy just said

517
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: for the free sex. And Megan tapped me and said,

518
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 1: what's what is that? It's like free love? No? I

519
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: mean not, because I mean in the space where I

520
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 1: am looking for a partner, I'm not gonna cut off

521
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,560
Speaker 1: my hose and my hose look out, So me being

522
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: with my hose, who look at I ain't gonna stop.

523
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: But I don't count them the person. You're not sell

524
00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: a bit to anybody but for a boyfriend, because is

525
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: while I'm dating, they ain't gonna know about my home.

526
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 1: So if a sex worker said I'm celebrate I only

527
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: have sex for work, is that celebrating? What are we

528
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: gonna come up with another? I'm gonna be real, cell

529
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: brusthy Okay, I'm gonna be real, y'all y'all's minds. I

530
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: don't know that was Now you got a really exciting moment.

531
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 1: We have a new segment that I toyed with the

532
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,959
Speaker 1: name You'll not be in my improv class. A toyed

533
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: with the name on a recent episode hor Derves, and

534
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:40,040
Speaker 1: we are going to serve you every week. A new

535
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,280
Speaker 1: sex tip could be anal, your mouth, your nose, your ear,

536
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,760
Speaker 1: something really small like kissing something the same bed. Please

537
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 1: feel free to submit your best sex tips to Horrible

538
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 1: Decisions at Gmail. We would love to have user submitted

539
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: sex tips see what we think. I'm kind of interested

540
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: in seeing if guests maybe each time we have a guest,

541
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: they can come in and give their best tip they have.

542
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: So I'm interested in knowing. I don't think that, Um,

543
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: you know, just because maybe you haven't had a bunch

544
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,640
Speaker 1: of study experience as us very sexual person. What do

545
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: you do? What do you think is your thing in

546
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,680
Speaker 1: bed that you've noticed men love about you? Noticed that

547
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: that's a tip that you could give. Um, I like,

548
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm a talker, could be in the bedroom. No, I

549
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,960
Speaker 1: don't need to be some on tone, but I'm like,

550
00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 1: it's funny because you it's funny it's funny because you

551
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: and let are like my two goofiest friends, and I'd

552
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: be like, damn, y'all hole, so goofy don't really suck

553
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 1: without laughing, Like y'all always got motherfucking jokes. Y'all would

554
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: look at the pea hole before you start sucking it like, hey, buddy,

555
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm coming, Like buddy, I'm coming. What is something that

556
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: you say in bed that you think it's super sexy?

557
00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:00,959
Speaker 1: Or I let I say stuff to let dominate me,

558
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 1: like do what you want to me or take it,

559
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,160
Speaker 1: but you know, like I'll take it. Do you tell

560
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: do you tell people who you're not Like if you're

561
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: just casually having sex, do you tell niggas that the

562
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: seal pussy or this is yours? Yeah? Yeah, even when

563
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: it's not put the giving up ownership during sex, Oh

564
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,240
Speaker 1: my god turns me on me. You know, I've told

565
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 1: like I was like, use my pussy till you come,

566
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 1: like do whatever you want to me, And I was like, damn,

567
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: I'm hoping you'll sup my ass. Do what you want.

568
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:38,200
Speaker 1: You don't at the top, at the top, what you are?

569
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: You know, it's fun once a quarter. Also make sure

570
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: you do it like when you didn't drink coffee. That

571
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: more like you have to be ready for you know,

572
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: like me once and it was an accident. I ain't

573
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: go I was supposed to have sex, but I didn't.

574
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: But I told him. I was like, just so you know,

575
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: there's only one hole available because my wisdom teeth were pooled,

576
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: so head is not really option right now because I'm

577
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 1: a side squeen it so it's like I'm not gonna

578
00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: be able to second. I can lick it like a cone,

579
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 1: but I can't really stuck it. And then I ate

580
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 1: um some some some ship that day Mexican and coffee,

581
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,440
Speaker 1: and I shot that that morning. So I was like,

582
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: if I shot that morning, you ain't gonna put you

583
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: a little dick in there and then it it's gonna

584
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 1: be messy. So I was like, only have one hole

585
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: out of the three available as long as you don't mind.

586
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,120
Speaker 1: Sounds okay. And I don't really be super super sexy

587
00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: in the moment, like I'm not like talking about sex

588
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: and stuff. I get weird. But in texting you did fine,

589
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 1: though I did so good. I don't like sexy sober,

590
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:35,120
Speaker 1: I don't like dick pigs. But he brought it out

591
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,880
Speaker 1: of me, and I was like, this is the first

592
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: time where I'm like it was literally in the middle

593
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: of the day during lunch, you say, what were you doing? Scene?

594
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 1: So the first time this is all it started. I

595
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 1: need to get off live by guys. So the first

596
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: time that you and the sky started seexting. Okay, so

597
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,839
Speaker 1: this time I started, I'm like, I'm a very black

598
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 1: and white person. I like, but this is what I

599
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: was like. I like, you know, black and white, Like,

600
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 1: I'm the type of person that's like yes or no.

601
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 1: Don't tell me maybe because when you say maybe, in

602
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:16,719
Speaker 1: my mind that's already a yes. So I'd rather you

603
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: say no then say yes later. I'm like, oh yeah,

604
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: he I was pissed. Now I'm happy. Don't say maybe

605
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: because in my mind maybe means yes, so yes or no,

606
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: up or down, left or right. So I was texting him.

607
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: He was like, Okay, I got it. I got it.

608
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: He was like in or out. I was like, and

609
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: it wasn't awkward. It didn't like turn me off. It

610
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 1: wasn't I didn't wasn't sexual. I was like in and

611
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: he was like, okay, hard or soft. I was like

612
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:47,640
Speaker 1: hard and I was like like he just randomly said,

613
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: let me text somebody. But I'm saying as I was,

614
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,160
Speaker 1: I was expressing to him that I'm a black and

615
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,240
Speaker 1: white person, so he's giving you. So then he was like, okay,

616
00:35:58,239 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 1: black and white, upper down, left, right, I get it.

617
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 1: Be very upfront and forward with you, he was. He

618
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 1: was like, well, have another question. I was like yeah.

619
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: He was like in or out and that started it.

620
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 1: And he was like hard or soft. He was like

621
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: front or back, And then I got excited. I was like,

622
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: oh my turn, I said. I think. I said, like,

623
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, something sexy like top of you know,

624
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: on top or on bottom or outside or inside or

625
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 1: you know, like this is a fun game. I just

626
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 1: texted two niggas inter out. Let's see what happened. Already

627
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: I told you no more take out, but it just

628
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: went on. We sexed it for four hours. Did my makeup?

629
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 1: I went to the club. I was in the club, like,

630
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 1: did you notice your pussy being white while you were

631
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: sexy in the club? Did you feel the butterfly thing happened?

632
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: Where like it's a robbing that's the Bestially I never

633
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,759
Speaker 1: had never met him, You've never been Yeah, that's the

634
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,600
Speaker 1: best so we sex it for a long time, and

635
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: did you guys ever end up having said? Was it good? Oh?

636
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 1: As somebody like not prude at all, but like semi conservatives.

637
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: I've tried to find the balance between who I really,

638
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:23,760
Speaker 1: my goofy childish self, and being like a sexy adult.

639
00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 1: So I'll stay with you. I'll be thirty in April.

640
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: But I think I found that recently. But well, I'm

641
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 1: interested in you said that you're you agree right about

642
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 1: like you or semi conservatives. How do you think that

643
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: you were able to navigate a conversation like that with

644
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 1: someone you've never met. Do you think that's why you

645
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: were able to do it because maybe you've never met him? No,

646
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: I think I don't, Like, I've never sexed it in

647
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: my life into him. If somebody ever did that, I'm like, like,

648
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,759
Speaker 1: what are you talking about? Top Like it turned me

649
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: off even dick pigs, I'm like, I'd rather see titties.

650
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,200
Speaker 1: But with him, I don't know why the connection was

651
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 1: like that. Maybe because we talked for so long before

652
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 1: it was like any intimacy, so he had my mind already.

653
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,239
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just really liked him, and when

654
00:38:09,239 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: he did it It wasn't awkward at all, but I

655
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: jumped right into it like it turned me on. It

656
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 1: wasn't like like you think other people haven't been that

657
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: smooth about it. Maybe we could we come enough. The

658
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:23,600
Speaker 1: first first face time was for hours. We talked about

659
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 1: so much intellectual, deep stuff before we even got to

660
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:31,399
Speaker 1: that sex one, oh Sapio sexual bit. Yeah you know, yeah,

661
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: that's why I used to tell stories while you were

662
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I think you're that she was really hoping,

663
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:46,440
Speaker 1: you know, if you got my pleaser, you were willing

664
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: to go that. I mean now that you just said

665
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: of your when your order for us was do what

666
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: you want with me, and that nigga said tell me

667
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: a story. Bit you think did I talk about that?

668
00:38:57,760 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 1: If you guys want to listen to what we're talking about,

669
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: go back two episodes. I can't believe talked about that.

670
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:04,919
Speaker 1: He's like, did what I'm like once upon a time,

671
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: I literally like driving a house, Like, what's the story

672
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 1: going to be today? I'm all out of stories? Like

673
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,399
Speaker 1: he just want me to tell stories? Drinks today? Oh

674
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,440
Speaker 1: my god, dude, after you left, that's what? Okay? This

675
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: was so I met someone that liked that same ship.

676
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: What did I call it? Old guy about other people

677
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: having sex with me? Yes? Weird? Like who was the

678
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,360
Speaker 1: old Hamptons guy that I sucked the one? What do

679
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 1: I call him? No? Just I think he liked to

680
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: fantasize about a girl like getting He would probably want

681
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 1: to see me. It's a cold thing. Yeah, like a

682
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 1: bron white dude, tasty to Hampton's. We have a fun

683
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,919
Speaker 1: time whatever. While he was I called him sick nipple fuck.

684
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: That's right, that was his name, sick nipple fuck. So

685
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 1: to make this very quick, basically he only could come

686
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 1: with his nipples being tied, but so much arousal from

687
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: the nipples that when I turned around and get fucked

688
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 1: from the back, He's like, that doesn't work for me,

689
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: and my nipples have to be He's like, no, he

690
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: didn't say my nipples have He couldn't. He just said,

691
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: oh that I don't like that position because there's no

692
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 1: and then he took his hands and waved them over

693
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 1: his chest and put stimulation. I was like, wow, okay,

694
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,239
Speaker 1: Literally it was like I had to turn. It was

695
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: like if I took my hands off the knob, it

696
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,600
Speaker 1: would come like come apart. That's how much he needed

697
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 1: his nipples touch. Long story short, I wanted him to

698
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 1: come and I was like, tell me what you want.

699
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,360
Speaker 1: He's like, tell me the last guy you fucked. And

700
00:40:35,400 --> 00:40:38,680
Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, what is So? It's weird because

701
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 1: the guys, so, the guys that that I talked to,

702
00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:43,799
Speaker 1: all my hose, all my holes are very the same

703
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 1: in that matter where they're like, I want to see

704
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: you suck dick or I want to see you get

705
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 1: so they want me to send them videos of me

706
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 1: fucking someone else all the time, or they're like, are

707
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: you fucking anyone coming up? Like let me watch. They're

708
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,879
Speaker 1: really all of my homes, they really like what it's

709
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: really the stuff in to an increased here on only fans.

710
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,840
Speaker 1: You need to make a close friends tab for these niggas.

711
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,759
Speaker 1: I'm telling you charge them for it. Dog Like I

712
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna I was gonna say, someone's name, is it Benny? No,

713
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,520
Speaker 1: it's actually not Benny. A few of my gay friends, right,

714
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 1: they'll meet niggas on Grinder, they'll add them to their

715
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: close friends thing and post like their dicks or like

716
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: sexual ship on there. It's you need my friends in

717
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 1: the ind well, my friends on the industry have have

718
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,959
Speaker 1: fences so their faith Instagrams and they're literally just people

719
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: that they know to follow, but they don't put their

720
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 1: face on there, and that's what they do. They post

721
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:39,080
Speaker 1: like next yes, and it's people like in the industry.

722
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: I'll tell you who and he live in Atlanta, so

723
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 1: he was I'll show you anyway, do I know when? Yes,

724
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 1: we're gonna get into this week's horrible decision And it

725
00:41:54,640 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't be right unless it was you're my boyfriend. The

726
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: we made the horrible decision this because you are listening

727
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: to for women who are in different spaces in their

728
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: love lives. And so with what I've seen you do

729
00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,640
Speaker 1: over the gotten him last ten years, just you're really

730
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,799
Speaker 1: big with manifesting everything that you've gotten. Um. I think

731
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: even with with horrible decisions, where we where we are now,

732
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 1: we did we had no idea where this would take us.

733
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,839
Speaker 1: But with you from the very first day I met you,

734
00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:30,640
Speaker 1: everything from a beauty line and being in beauty, from

735
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 1: your music to you before you get to me. I'm

736
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,799
Speaker 1: so proud of y'all and I really respect what you

737
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: do as women. Seriously, I would never be on this

738
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: with the banana in my mouth. That's not me. But

739
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 1: because it's you and y'all do that and living your truth.

740
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 1: I respect that because there's so many people that are

741
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: just not who they are. You're aren't hurting anybody, You're

742
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,359
Speaker 1: not bashing anyone. You're being yourself and being sexually open

743
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: and honest. And I think that it's perfectly fine to

744
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 1: do in life as long as you're not hurting yourself

745
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: for anyone. I'm not really respect that, thank you. I

746
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:07,960
Speaker 1: think rent open sexually and I love it that I

747
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: could never never, but I love that I could never do.

748
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,520
Speaker 1: You know. I think it's dope that you're honest and

749
00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: you know who you are and you're like, this is me,

750
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 1: take it or leave it. I love that. But I

751
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: think that you're pretty much that way, just and you.

752
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 1: And that's so when we were when me and Megan

753
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 1: were talking outside and when I was thinking of what

754
00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 1: we talk would talk about this episode, Um, it did

755
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: have a lot to do. We went out to dinner

756
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: last night and so we were with Jonathanson Maul. We

757
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 1: went after and we had a great dinner, but we

758
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: were talking a lot about love relationships and a lot

759
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 1: of us were single at the table or just out

760
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,920
Speaker 1: of relationships. Aside from you and you were giving a

761
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 1: lot of relationship advice, and even with you and I,

762
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: we've been talking about manifesting not only what we want

763
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 1: in our career, but what we want from love or

764
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 1: with a partner. So during this part of the episode, UM,

765
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 1: I think that this will really sit to maybe every

766
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 1: re listener because we have someone who's married, we have

767
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:05,360
Speaker 1: someone who's on the teter being in a relationship but

768
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,160
Speaker 1: not really sure what it is, but wants to be there.

769
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 1: I didn't say I want to be there. You're kind

770
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: of no, maybe not wanting to be there, but it's happening.

771
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 1: Ecuse I don't You're you don't want to be in

772
00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: a relationship. I'm I'm in a relationship with a boyfriend

773
00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: who's not my boyfriend, and I don't want a boyfriend.

774
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 1: I feel like it's not for me. You don't want monogamy? Um, well,

775
00:44:25,160 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 1: we both don't have it. I mean we we sleep

776
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,319
Speaker 1: with people together, we sleep with people separate. But it's

777
00:44:29,360 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: like it's very obvious that it's trending towards a relationship.

778
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: Brandon twining our lives families were going on our went

779
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,880
Speaker 1: fourth vacation together. Like, so it's a lot and he's amazing,

780
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,240
Speaker 1: but I said on a Patreon episode, like he's becoming

781
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: my best friend and that ship is very scary, And no,

782
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,640
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want a boyfriend. And where you're at,

783
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 1: is you, like you said year about to be celibate

784
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 1: because the next person you have sex with I want

785
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:55,320
Speaker 1: to be and you want to be in a relationship.

786
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,800
Speaker 1: And I'm also, I guess on the same line, is

787
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 1: you not so much into monogamy, But I am actually

788
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,000
Speaker 1: looking for someone who's my partner, and I'm actually looking

789
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: for someone who could be my partner and best friend. Um,

790
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,360
Speaker 1: And so that's something that I'm manifesting to her, even

791
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,480
Speaker 1: because I finally cut off that tie where I think

792
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 1: for the last three years, our guests, Wheezy, my friends

793
00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: have all said was keeping me from that because he

794
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 1: was someone I just fell back on because I was

795
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 1: comfortable with him, um, even though I didn't want to

796
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 1: be with him, and so cutting him off now and

797
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 1: not even being able to have casual sex because I

798
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: literally can't get out of my own head about it,

799
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: I know that the next person, hopefully that I have

800
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 1: sex with, for free. Um, not just playing, but the

801
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 1: next person that I have sex with, someone that I've

802
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 1: already made my boyfriend or were so much involved that

803
00:45:45,480 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: that's where it's going. Um. And it's something that I've

804
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,359
Speaker 1: been very open with even when dating. So I am

805
00:45:51,440 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: dating now, which is the fucking ghetto, uh, because he's project. Um,

806
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 1: but I am dating now, and I'm I'm noticing that

807
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm saying it exactly up front, and which is why

808
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,760
Speaker 1: PhD fell off because he was in the space where

809
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 1: he was telling me, listen, I just got out of

810
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: a seven year relationship. I don't want to rush into

811
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,440
Speaker 1: a relationship and I just didn't even want the idea

812
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,919
Speaker 1: of being hurt six months on the and you tell

813
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 1: me how long it wasn't good? Um, he's been siting

814
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 1: for about a year and a half now. Um, but

815
00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 1: he's PhD. PhD they God sent you to picture of

816
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: I know, cut him off already. UM yeah, I'm telling

817
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 1: you when you have it, like, what's happening to me

818
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: right now is crazy. And I just said I want

819
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 1: to sucking other nigga just because I I'm like, this

820
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 1: is what I wanted and it's here, and now I'm scared.

821
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 1: I'm freaking out, bro, what's scaring you? It's just too perfect,

822
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 1: We're too compatible. We fucking no, I didn't say that.

823
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: She did that. She does. Vincent cut the fucking camera it.

824
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:17,600
Speaker 1: I love that. It's crazy because like, I don't want

825
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:21,280
Speaker 1: this at all. I just want to live my life.

826
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:23,959
Speaker 1: I want to fear of getting hurt. Yeah, I'm not gonna,

827
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 1: but I just haven't been with someone that I if

828
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 1: I could paint a picture of, like aesthetically, what they

829
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:34,720
Speaker 1: look like, and just like we'd be on the same energy,

830
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,839
Speaker 1: like that ship is wild ship and I and I

831
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 1: just that's why I said the best friend thing is

832
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,280
Speaker 1: freaking me out. We talked ship together, like I can't

833
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 1: handle goddamnita. It's funny because what y'all are saying is

834
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 1: something that I'm actually going to bring up in therapy.

835
00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 1: I realized now with dating, that's my fear of dating

836
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: and hopping into our relationship is that when you're seeing

837
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: go in you're dating, you're vulnerable to pain. And so

838
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: I've talked about on this relationship how I have dealt

839
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,680
Speaker 1: with married men are taken a manner, men who are

840
00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 1: technically not emotional, emotionally available and to me. And this

841
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 1: is my fucked up way of thinking. I know that

842
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 1: I can go in there and there I'm not being

843
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: hurt because I can put up the wall because I

844
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 1: know exactly what it is. You know what you make

845
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 1: it up in your mind before you start, you know,

846
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 1: you know. And so now that I'm in this dating

847
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: space where everything is up in the air, I want

848
00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:28,799
Speaker 1: to know if this person is telling me the truth

849
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 1: or telling me you know, is he telling me what

850
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: I want to hear just so that he can get

851
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 1: to the next step before you know? And so And

852
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: of course when I'm dealing with someone who's married or

853
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to become anything more to them than

854
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,080
Speaker 1: what we are. It's just free flowing. It is what

855
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 1: it is. You take it or you leave it, and

856
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:48,840
Speaker 1: it's cool. But in terms of dating and being single,

857
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: now is just like I'm opening myself to you hurting me.

858
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 1: And I like to be in control of my feelings.

859
00:48:54,440 --> 00:48:58,200
Speaker 1: I hate when someone can my day, my day, And

860
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 1: when you're dating, you love someone and there's emotions involved.

861
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 1: That person innately has control of how you moved during

862
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:07,359
Speaker 1: the day. And right now, with an iron on tour,

863
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,320
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't believe in that. So you're married,

864
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: I don't believe in that. I believe that you give

865
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,399
Speaker 1: power to what you want to give power to. Right, So, like,

866
00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:22,879
Speaker 1: if if you hurt me, I allowed that to hurt me,

867
00:49:23,320 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 1: like you did things to cause me to feel a

868
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: certain way, but ultimately, like I have control over my

869
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: we do. Because there are certain people that you say

870
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:39,839
Speaker 1: things to me, But my husband to me, I would

871
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: be like yo, like, because I put him in a

872
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: certain position in my life. Right, But how are you

873
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: supposed to find love if you're not opening yourself to it.

874
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: If you open yourself to love, you open yourself to pain.

875
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,479
Speaker 1: That's the risk of tame. Absolutely, that's what I'm saying.

876
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:56,239
Speaker 1: I don't think that to be in love and not

877
00:49:56,320 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 1: being pain I agree with that. I just you told me,

878
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,760
Speaker 1: she said, I said, I can't wait to find my husband.

879
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,600
Speaker 1: She said, when you find your husband, that is going

880
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 1: to be the person that hurts you most. And it's

881
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,799
Speaker 1: because you put him on that pedestal and love him

882
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: so much that you give him access to you that

883
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: nobody else has. No one else in the world has

884
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 1: that us. And so I think whether it's intentional or

885
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: it could still be a health I'm not gonna lie.

886
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,680
Speaker 1: I fear that like how and you you know me

887
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:33,720
Speaker 1: and Jordan's and that nigga, I feel like after that,

888
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:37,799
Speaker 1: I know I haven't been I know, and that was

889
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: someone who like over years and even his family girl

890
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 1: disgusting and we literally just saw each other when I

891
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 1: was and I was just crazy. I could see him

892
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,680
Speaker 1: walking down the street. I probably wouldn't remember what he

893
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:49,040
Speaker 1: looks like. I got you gotta show me a picture.

894
00:50:49,520 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 1: But even with that, like the control like to where

895
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 1: we would be yelling and arguing, and then I would

896
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 1: feel guilty for wanting to steal talk to him again,

897
00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: and like the emotions that I felt with that nigga,

898
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:04,720
Speaker 1: I don't see. This is why we can never pass judgment.

899
00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:08,520
Speaker 1: I have to. I keep this thing is really on

900
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 1: my mind about that wild ass video like video with

901
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 1: the Jerry Smith thing. I just keep thinking about it

902
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,759
Speaker 1: because there's like a lot of judgment to unpack there.

903
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:21,840
Speaker 1: Yes it was crazy, but you were saying, like I

904
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: feel guilty for talking to him. Someone treated you away,

905
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: you keep talking to them. We could all sit on

906
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:28,280
Speaker 1: this podcast and say I would never let that happen.

907
00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: But when you just really don't know no one is

908
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:36,680
Speaker 1: when you would never open your heart to somebody like

909
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,399
Speaker 1: niggas make you act nuts. You So you think her

910
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:44,920
Speaker 1: praying like that was like wow, social media? Absolutely, I

911
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: thought that. I think putting it on social media was wild.

912
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 1: But I don't think what she did. I thought what

913
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:54,440
Speaker 1: she did was something that was courageous in a sense

914
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:58,120
Speaker 1: of social media people be putting some bullshit out about

915
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 1: about their relationships. Absolutely, we're talking bull this, nigga. Look

916
00:52:03,239 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 1: a look at showing te messages showing you know what

917
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 1: I'm saying, screens. Why is it bad to do the

918
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: right thing in the opposite of that? Why? Why was

919
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: the right thing praying on Instagram? Though? But that's what

920
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,640
Speaker 1: I'm saying that I don't think it should have been

921
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:22,200
Speaker 1: on social media. So I've had two feelings about this.

922
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: If you publicly cheat on me, you opened the gates

923
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,479
Speaker 1: for me to publicly address it. That's why I don't

924
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 1: like that people are shooting on her for saying like

925
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: she shouldn't have did it. But at the same time,

926
00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:37,320
Speaker 1: I'm also that person because I'm like, that's fucking nuts.

927
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 1: Ten minutes of crying on Instagram because that to me

928
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:45,840
Speaker 1: was too much. Now I think there's like just honestly

929
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 1: taste level, like my taste to cry and scream. And

930
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: then I also felt like it felt like a backwards prayer,

931
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 1: like you want to heal her heart, but then also

932
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: like have mercy. I don't know what's gonna happen to

933
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,640
Speaker 1: you because what you did to God's daughter, it was

934
00:52:58,719 --> 00:53:01,560
Speaker 1: like if you guys that I don't want to get

935
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: too much into this because we literally spent like ten

936
00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 1: or fifteen minutes talking about it on our on our patriarch.

937
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 1: So this week, UM, but I do want to ask

938
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,880
Speaker 1: you guys, um in the realm of dating, so so

939
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 1: be small. I'm gonna ask you, um, what should we

940
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,880
Speaker 1: as women do to manifest what we want out of

941
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 1: a man? And I do want to switch it to

942
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,200
Speaker 1: you because now that you have a husband, was that manifested?

943
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you what you're doing. I

944
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: will say what I'm trying to do. I'm just now

945
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: starting this journey. UM. Two thousand nineteen, I felt like, Um,

946
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 1: I kept meeting guys who were bachelor's and but last

947
00:53:30,280 --> 00:53:32,239
Speaker 1: year I was almost sexual I ever been. I was

948
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: open he's a bachelor. He doesn't want to be committed.

949
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:38,400
Speaker 1: But you're acting like a bachelor, but you're attracting bachelor's

950
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: like you wanna you want a husband, act like a wife.

951
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,839
Speaker 1: You can't be out here dating and fucking and you're

952
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:50,600
Speaker 1: acting like a bachelor attracting I feel no, I agree, No, no, no, no, no.

953
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:54,239
Speaker 1: The way you act, how how am I saying I

954
00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,480
Speaker 1: would meet a guy? He dating so many girls, like

955
00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: you're dating so many guys. What's the problem. You're attracting

956
00:53:59,640 --> 00:54:02,840
Speaker 1: people that just be Are you not supposed to so? Like,

957
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: let's say, no, I don't know about what you mean

958
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 1: about acting, but should I not be casually dating and

959
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,360
Speaker 1: enjoying my life until I meet somebody? No, that's not

960
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I was really acting like a bachelor way,

961
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: not seriously dating, having sex with whoever I wanted to

962
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,680
Speaker 1: have sex with, just kicking it. But and that's not

963
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: what I want to tell me that this is one thing.

964
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,320
Speaker 1: This is what I'm interested in knowing, and I actually

965
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm curious and picking your brain about that. I have

966
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 1: a friend of mine married for a long time, and

967
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 1: whenever I get with her, she gets fucking wild. And

968
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's not even like this right. I feel

969
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 1: like it's because she didn't get that out. If you

970
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: don't ee for me, I got it out, you have

971
00:54:42,680 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: to like. But just because you're doing those things, I

972
00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 1: don't think that doesn't mean they don't they're not putting

973
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 1: you in the way of love. I think that you

974
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:52,200
Speaker 1: could find love and not be ready for it if

975
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 1: you didn't have ship like that happens to you, you

976
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: know what I mean. But I feel like what I'm

977
00:54:57,200 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 1: trying now is to change my mindset to I'm not

978
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:02,840
Speaker 1: just kicking it because that's not what I want. I

979
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:06,240
Speaker 1: don't want to just kick it. So now my mindset is, Okay,

980
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 1: you want a boyfriend, you want a husband, take a

981
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 1: step back and really date, trying to get to know people,

982
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 1: trying to see who you're dating, not just physical girl.

983
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:18,480
Speaker 1: He's so I'm a fucking tonight. No, we want a husband.

984
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:21,240
Speaker 1: Let's slow down. We don't just want to have fun anymore.

985
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm like, Okay, let me be cell abate,

986
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 1: be still learned. Do I really like this nigga? Do

987
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 1: not like his lifestyle? I really like this nigga? Like

988
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 1: there was a guy. I was like, I like him

989
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 1: so much. She was like, you don't like him. You

990
00:55:35,000 --> 00:55:38,279
Speaker 1: like the lifestyle, like the you like the idea of him,

991
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 1: you like that he has money, you like that you

992
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:42,479
Speaker 1: can party with him. You like that. You don't like him.

993
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: So I'm like, fuck, you're right. So it's like, wait

994
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 1: and get to know somebody, because I'm now looking for

995
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 1: a husband. I'm not looking for fun. So if I'm

996
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,920
Speaker 1: not looking for fun, I can't run around in the

997
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: nightlife acting like a bachelor. But that's not what I want,

998
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,560
Speaker 1: is this. I'm really trying to manifest a husband, so

999
00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 1: I think I just want to I want to relationship.

1000
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: So I'm a sit steal. Yeah, can I like what

1001
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 1: about you? Did you manifest before you got into your

1002
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 1: marriage or even before you guys were dating? Was that

1003
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,399
Speaker 1: something you manifested? I mean, like I said, I met

1004
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:18,840
Speaker 1: my husband, I was nineteen, so um wold story. I

1005
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:21,919
Speaker 1: went to Bible College. I like literally was like such

1006
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: a good like you still are so, but I was

1007
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 1: like I went to Bible College. Like I lost my

1008
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,360
Speaker 1: Virginia when I was sixteen on my stepmother's couch with

1009
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 1: a drug dealer. Was very awkward. Damn we all had that.

1010
00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:43,360
Speaker 1: So I had sex. Um, I had sex to sixteen

1011
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,720
Speaker 1: and was sexually active until I went into Bible College

1012
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 1: and I decided I wasn't going to have sex anymore.

1013
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,520
Speaker 1: And I said, the next person I had sex with

1014
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 1: is going to be my husband. And the next person

1015
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 1: I had sex with was my husband. So I waited

1016
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 1: until until we got married. No. Um, I didn't mean

1017
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:10,640
Speaker 1: it to be petty. I actually like, No, I definitely

1018
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 1: had sex with my husband. I think it was the

1019
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: first night we but but I said, the person that

1020
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: I have sex with next is whatever reason, I felt

1021
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:26,680
Speaker 1: comfortable in that moment having sex with him, and we've

1022
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 1: been married for ten years. I love that you actually

1023
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,440
Speaker 1: brought that up, because that was one of my questions. UM.

1024
00:57:31,480 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: I put, does sex complicate dating? Um? Should you have

1025
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 1: sex with someone to gauge the compatibility first or hold off?

1026
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:40,600
Speaker 1: And we were talking about that. I was like, well,

1027
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 1: what have you married? Someone? In the dick is actually

1028
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: what did we break up? And I'm like you always

1029
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,280
Speaker 1: said over the years, which is why I was really

1030
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 1: surprised when you were said that next person I thought

1031
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: has to be my boyfriend because you've always said I

1032
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 1: don't want to waste time. But in this case, like

1033
00:57:53,320 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: to me, I believe in that manifesting. But I am

1034
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,960
Speaker 1: still big on this person still meeting my sexual qualification.

1035
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: Feel like that can be learned. I think sex. I

1036
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 1: think you're sex. It's the journey and you have to

1037
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:08,440
Speaker 1: you have to figure out what you both like. Like

1038
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 1: me and my husband, I met him at nineteen. I

1039
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 1: didn't know what the hell I was doing at nineteen.

1040
00:58:13,320 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: Do you remember the first time you had sex to

1041
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:20,200
Speaker 1: you had no fucking clue what you were doing. I

1042
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:26,400
Speaker 1: just want to say that I know right now. So

1043
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,959
Speaker 1: this is how late my life's been. I've started talking

1044
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: to a nigga that I sucked a decade ago, and

1045
00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 1: so we're talking about our sex life a decade ago,

1046
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 1: and he's like, you, you were such a free like

1047
00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 1: and we're talking like we just had sex yesterday and

1048
00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: it literally has been about ten years. And I'm just like, Nick,

1049
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: do you know what? I'm like? What I'm damn? Yeah.

1050
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 1: But also it's funny because I used to refer to

1051
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:51,360
Speaker 1: him as the biggest dick in the world, and I'm like,

1052
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:53,680
Speaker 1: I wonder if you're still that because I've had a

1053
00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:56,760
Speaker 1: lot since you feeling too. They've been making you think

1054
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 1: have you ever like fucked somebody when you're in it

1055
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:01,120
Speaker 1: and it's amazing? And then you them again You're like,

1056
00:59:01,320 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 1: this is I was doing? This is not how I

1057
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 1: remember it. So the last question that I wanted to

1058
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:10,240
Speaker 1: have and I want everyone to to kind of maybe

1059
00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 1: give um one to two things that they thought was

1060
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:16,600
Speaker 1: wrong in manifesting love or a relationship or what you

1061
00:59:16,680 --> 00:59:19,240
Speaker 1: want out of a partner. Um in this realm of

1062
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:23,160
Speaker 1: dating outside of being a bachelor, what are we doing wrong?

1063
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: I feel their way to look at yourself and see, damn,

1064
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 1: where where am I sucking up? That I haven't landed?

1065
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:31,080
Speaker 1: Who I'm looking for? Things or what I want? Yeah,

1066
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 1: I have two things. One I'm looking sit still, focus

1067
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 1: on you. And the second thing, which kind of coincides

1068
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: with that, get yourself together. You have all these requirements.

1069
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,120
Speaker 1: You want this, you want this, you want this, have

1070
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,080
Speaker 1: the ship, and you want you not even providing I

1071
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:49,360
Speaker 1: mean a man that's mentally stable, that you're not mentally

1072
00:59:51,800 --> 00:59:57,320
Speaker 1: to therapy. We were talking about my best friend. We

1073
00:59:57,360 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 1: have these talks all the time. We are just traumatize

1074
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:02,960
Speaker 1: as people hurt people hurting people I have so much

1075
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 1: stuff under the rug. I haven't dealt with my mom

1076
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: to my stepmom to i'mbout to be thirty. Fix that

1077
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 1: first before you even try to come with the man.

1078
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:11,560
Speaker 1: And now you're going off on hand for some of

1079
01:00:11,600 --> 01:00:15,439
Speaker 1: your stepmom Dan when he was eight eight, you still

1080
01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:17,320
Speaker 1: got to deal with family stuff where you even try

1081
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: to be equally yoked with me. People really project their

1082
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: PTSD into relationships and it's scary. I mean, I've been

1083
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,760
Speaker 1: that person before, you know what I mean. And I've

1084
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: been to a lot of therapy and I've definitely watched

1085
01:00:28,280 --> 01:00:30,520
Speaker 1: myself do it. I've seen a nigga walk outside and

1086
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 1: I'd be like, so you like because the last nigga right,

1087
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:37,919
Speaker 1: And it's like, you do have to heal? How to heal?

1088
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:42,400
Speaker 1: I think the biggest thing, too, is making sure that

1089
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 1: there's some space in between. Like I'm a serial data right,

1090
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: and I do it in a very social way. I

1091
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: love the apps, I love stuff like that. But if

1092
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 1: I meet someone that is great, maybe they're not super amazing,

1093
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:56,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, yes, this is it. I

1094
01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:59,040
Speaker 1: can work with it. Yeah he's a little cheesy, but

1095
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 1: like no, we is good, Like no like, definitely let

1096
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:06,280
Speaker 1: that time in space. He'll also know and understand that

1097
01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 1: not every person you fuck. Don't put too much pressure

1098
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 1: on yourself has to be the last one. But like,

1099
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 1: don't it doesn't have to be the last one. There

1100
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 1: can be people placed in your lives for a season

1101
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:24,480
Speaker 1: and that's okay. It is okay to just enjoy an

1102
01:01:24,520 --> 01:01:27,800
Speaker 1: experience with someone and it can end. I think there's

1103
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: way too much pressure, and it's mainly from other people,

1104
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 1: like either the energy of wishing bad or saying something's

1105
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 1: gonna end, or saying, oh well this is for right now,

1106
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: like fuck them, motherfucker's bro. Like, I don't like to

1107
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,800
Speaker 1: talk like that about people and their ship, but I

1108
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:45,439
Speaker 1: think also the fear of letting something end is really

1109
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,440
Speaker 1: what holds us all back. I think that you have

1110
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 1: to determine what you really want, like honestly, ask yourself

1111
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:55,200
Speaker 1: what I really really how are you really want to

1112
01:01:55,280 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: read right now? Just like I really want to be

1113
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 1: I want to do I really want to have kids?

1114
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:08,080
Speaker 1: Do I would I rather have my career? You know

1115
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:10,240
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Ask yourself what you really want, and

1116
01:02:10,320 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 1: don't think that you have to be confined to whatever

1117
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:17,240
Speaker 1: society says you have to be Oh, you have to

1118
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: be married by thirty you have to have kids by

1119
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: thirty five, or that's not what you want, that's not

1120
01:02:22,600 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 1: what you have to start chasing something that you weren't

1121
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:30,520
Speaker 1: meant to be, or people's societal it's your friends. People

1122
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 1: feel alone when their friends are together. Like, I mean,

1123
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: the reason I just said no, I don't want that

1124
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 1: a boyfriend is because I think there's a lot of

1125
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:41,600
Speaker 1: weight in the term boyfriend. I have someone that is

1126
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 1: becoming my best friend, is my lover. I care about

1127
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: a lot I've called a partner, you love whatever, But boyfriend,

1128
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:58,320
Speaker 1: I think takes it to this committal scary ruins it. Boyfriend?

1129
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 1: Why don't like that? You know what I'm saying. Like,

1130
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 1: but if you guys are having an open conversation and

1131
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 1: you set your expectations early, like, what does that look

1132
01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 1: like to you? Right? So? Like what is love looks

1133
01:03:10,760 --> 01:03:12,920
Speaker 1: differently for all of us, and I think you have

1134
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:16,440
Speaker 1: to have that conversation. Like I'm feeling you. We have

1135
01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:19,680
Speaker 1: this energy, we have this vibe, and I feel like

1136
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 1: I want to be committed to you in some way,

1137
01:03:22,400 --> 01:03:24,040
Speaker 1: But what does that look like for us? I mean,

1138
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, like defining your relationship. I

1139
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:31,080
Speaker 1: think it's like everything. I'm appreciating that the boundaries conversation

1140
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,320
Speaker 1: is happening. But I think what's also kind of scary

1141
01:03:33,360 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 1: about what happened is we both just thought we were

1142
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:41,920
Speaker 1: gonna fuck right. Because when you start something up, when

1143
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:45,560
Speaker 1: it's like a real like I talked about Jeeves, like oh, yes,

1144
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,880
Speaker 1: I'm looking for someone too, this is great, we're compatible.

1145
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:52,160
Speaker 1: Let's take things slow. When you just fucking motherfucker and

1146
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: then it grows, it's like, yeah, it's funny because that

1147
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,600
Speaker 1: was actually going to be my exact thing that I

1148
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 1: felt like I've done wrong, um in terms of what

1149
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,800
Speaker 1: I want. Now I'm being a lot more vocal upfront

1150
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 1: with what I want because I feel like why I've

1151
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:10,160
Speaker 1: been in the situation, ships or relationships, whatever you wanna

1152
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 1: call them, that I've been over the over the last

1153
01:04:12,160 --> 01:04:15,840
Speaker 1: decade is because I've done just that. I started where

1154
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:19,280
Speaker 1: we just sucked, and then now we're fucking this two

1155
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 1: ye years later, three years later, seven years later, um, An,

1156
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:26,520
Speaker 1: emotions have attached and I never really said what I

1157
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:29,560
Speaker 1: wanted or expected out of you, and now we're just

1158
01:04:29,640 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 1: going with the flow. And now when there's any conversation

1159
01:04:31,840 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 1: about well I want to elevate this, Well what the

1160
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:38,960
Speaker 1: fund You've been fine with what we've been doing. Why

1161
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 1: do you want something new now? And it is the

1162
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,040
Speaker 1: fact that you do grow, you do change, you do

1163
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 1: want more out of somebody as the time goes on.

1164
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 1: And this isn't necessarily at all, but with Jordan and

1165
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 1: and Q and the other guys that have been in

1166
01:04:52,480 --> 01:04:54,760
Speaker 1: my life to where it started off as just sucking

1167
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:56,920
Speaker 1: and I thought I was okay with just sucking, and

1168
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,800
Speaker 1: then until I like you and now I'm stuck in

1169
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:02,480
Speaker 1: it probably isn't going to go where I wanted to

1170
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,000
Speaker 1: do it because I left it there for so long, right,

1171
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:08,080
Speaker 1: And so to me, now that's where even when I'm

1172
01:05:08,120 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 1: talking to guys, I said, I won't do that again.

1173
01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:12,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a situation ship. I

1174
01:05:12,200 --> 01:05:14,320
Speaker 1: don't want to literally be vocal a friend or do

1175
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 1: you get And it's just like and if you don't

1176
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:21,000
Speaker 1: do if you don't want that, people think that's scary,

1177
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:22,800
Speaker 1: Like why would you talk about marriage on the first

1178
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:24,800
Speaker 1: day the second date if you don't ever want to

1179
01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:29,680
Speaker 1: get married? What's the point? I do think that the

1180
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:33,680
Speaker 1: first date, like, yes, maybe expectations should be set, But

1181
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 1: I also think that you can block your blessings by

1182
01:05:36,480 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 1: being like, well, I need but I think that being

1183
01:05:40,840 --> 01:05:46,920
Speaker 1: communicative about what you are looking for people there. If

1184
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:48,680
Speaker 1: you can go on a dating app and see that

1185
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 1: people say no hookups, you can be in person and

1186
01:05:52,040 --> 01:05:54,400
Speaker 1: say I'm not looking for that either. Yeah, you know

1187
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 1: what I mean A matter of fact, to be honest

1188
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 1: with you. The dude that I'm talking about now, Brooklyn

1189
01:05:59,520 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 1: Bay old baby whatever, I've changed his name, but with

1190
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 1: each other. So I met him in January and we

1191
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:08,560
Speaker 1: stopped talking. We fucked in the summertime, and it's been

1192
01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 1: going strong ever since. He said to me recently. I

1193
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 1: was like, why didn't we like keep it going or whatever?

1194
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:16,720
Speaker 1: And he was like, you were looking for something I

1195
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:19,680
Speaker 1: couldn't give you, I think. And he said that to

1196
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,240
Speaker 1: me and I was like, how did you know that?

1197
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:23,840
Speaker 1: He was like, because you told me that. He was

1198
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:25,440
Speaker 1: like on our second day. He was like, you were

1199
01:06:25,480 --> 01:06:27,200
Speaker 1: looking for something and I was like, I don't really

1200
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:31,240
Speaker 1: know what was it. I remember, yeah, I remember too.

1201
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:32,760
Speaker 1: I don't know if I said it. So I was

1202
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:36,000
Speaker 1: dating a girl at the time I wanted a partner

1203
01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:39,520
Speaker 1: in our throttle and I found one and it didn't

1204
01:06:39,560 --> 01:06:43,240
Speaker 1: work out with that, with with um, with them, I mean,

1205
01:06:43,800 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 1: fine breakup. It wasn't like fuck you nigga today. I

1206
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,440
Speaker 1: was just like, okay, this isn't working. But that was

1207
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:50,720
Speaker 1: what happened. And he was like, he was like, I

1208
01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,840
Speaker 1: couldn't handle that, and he was like, I couldn't be

1209
01:06:52,920 --> 01:06:54,560
Speaker 1: what you were looking for. And that's the thing. I

1210
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 1: think we need to be okay with the response that

1211
01:06:57,280 --> 01:07:01,440
Speaker 1: we get and think that it's something that a lot

1212
01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:03,439
Speaker 1: of women do, but something that I've done is where

1213
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 1: that's why PhD is out the picture. They would tell

1214
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:09,520
Speaker 1: me where they were and I was like acting like

1215
01:07:09,640 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 1: I was okay with it, hope. And that's where I

1216
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:16,560
Speaker 1: think a lot of us go wrong where they told

1217
01:07:16,600 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 1: you from. So now I'm telling you from the start.

1218
01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 1: And if that's something that you can't give me, well

1219
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 1: then all right, well I'm gonna let you go. You

1220
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:24,840
Speaker 1: go out of your house of sex with whoever you're fucking.

1221
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 1: But that I don't love you, ye like, yeah, and

1222
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 1: I would. I can go to and cancel you and

1223
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,800
Speaker 1: that's it, and I'm fine. And there's so many options

1224
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 1: out here. I feel like we do like see someone

1225
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 1: and automatically we're like, oh my god, this is my husband,

1226
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is the one for me. I

1227
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,880
Speaker 1: have to make it work when in reality, if he's

1228
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 1: not aligning or she's not aligning with really where you're at,

1229
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 1: it's okay to be like, well, let's revisit this maybe

1230
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:48,760
Speaker 1: when we get on the same page and you don't

1231
01:07:48,800 --> 01:07:51,920
Speaker 1: lose my number, hit me up looking or just like

1232
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:56,120
Speaker 1: being okay with just walking away. Okay, okay, was walking away.

1233
01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:58,360
Speaker 1: And I think that you have to be okay with

1234
01:07:59,320 --> 01:08:04,200
Speaker 1: you first, Like you have to truly love you first

1235
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:07,680
Speaker 1: and make you yourself happy, because then your happiness isn't

1236
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:13,080
Speaker 1: dependent on somebody else. Girl. I mean, but it's so

1237
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, there is a lot of weight

1238
01:08:15,240 --> 01:08:19,200
Speaker 1: in that because there are happy people that get happy

1239
01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:22,320
Speaker 1: with someone else and they lose themselves and they're fucked,

1240
01:08:22,960 --> 01:08:25,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like, I mean, that is

1241
01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,720
Speaker 1: the hardest part. So, like, I think that a lot

1242
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 1: of people say that you have to be happy with yourself.

1243
01:08:30,640 --> 01:08:32,759
Speaker 1: You have to be happy with yourself. I know plenty

1244
01:08:32,840 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 1: of great women that are confident, happy get in a

1245
01:08:36,080 --> 01:08:39,400
Speaker 1: relationship and you can lose yourself. And I think that

1246
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,960
Speaker 1: when that happens, you really start to depend on that person.

1247
01:08:43,080 --> 01:08:45,880
Speaker 1: You can you intertwine your lives, so it's like now

1248
01:08:45,960 --> 01:08:49,599
Speaker 1: you're sharing your happiness, and then when that piece is gone,

1249
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:52,439
Speaker 1: you're fucked. So that's why there's a lot of times

1250
01:08:52,479 --> 01:08:54,439
Speaker 1: where like you read something like that, you've got to

1251
01:08:54,479 --> 01:08:56,840
Speaker 1: be happy with you. You can't depend on a man. True,

1252
01:08:56,960 --> 01:09:01,120
Speaker 1: but I'm being death. I know amazing people that have

1253
01:09:01,200 --> 01:09:03,799
Speaker 1: been sucked over by heartbreak and they completely lose themselves.

1254
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:06,519
Speaker 1: And I think there's a lot of maintenance that you

1255
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,760
Speaker 1: have to do in the middle of your relationship. It

1256
01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 1: has to be a constant. Old time is a serious thing,

1257
01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 1: friend time, vacation, things without each other, because if you

1258
01:09:15,439 --> 01:09:18,280
Speaker 1: don't learn to have that, you're fun. A matter of fact,

1259
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 1: to be real with you, this New Year's right, so

1260
01:09:21,640 --> 01:09:24,000
Speaker 1: he's going to Europe. I'm going to Mexico. First thing

1261
01:09:24,040 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 1: out of arm I was like, okay, well, let's just

1262
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:28,800
Speaker 1: do Mexico together. And it was like, let me go

1263
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:30,800
Speaker 1: be with my friends. You'd be with your friends, will

1264
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:34,000
Speaker 1: do our little thing. And it was like literally something

1265
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:36,240
Speaker 1: I know we both suggestion because it was like fun.

1266
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,799
Speaker 1: This is how we're treating everything, Thanksgiving, Christmas, every thing, Birthday?

1267
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:42,360
Speaker 1: How much can we do? This is when it gets

1268
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:46,519
Speaker 1: too codependent. Yes, And I think that when you're dating

1269
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: you should I feel like you should be. There are

1270
01:09:49,160 --> 01:09:52,799
Speaker 1: days that you shouldn't be available. He knows. Every Thursday,

1271
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:55,400
Speaker 1: I'm not available. That's the time I go out with

1272
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:59,320
Speaker 1: my girls. Every other Saturday, I'm not available. You know

1273
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Have some type of consistency and schedule

1274
01:10:05,439 --> 01:10:08,600
Speaker 1: about your life so that way you do have that

1275
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:12,720
Speaker 1: girl time. You do have that. Every Wednesday is the

1276
01:10:12,840 --> 01:10:15,559
Speaker 1: night I read like anyone someone, I don't care if

1277
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 1: you already have friends. That is weird. And I've seen

1278
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:21,760
Speaker 1: relationships like that where they're so codependent on each other

1279
01:10:22,479 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 1: and your friends like a bitch I talked to you

1280
01:10:25,439 --> 01:10:30,120
Speaker 1: in six years where that bro, that's the worst I've

1281
01:10:30,200 --> 01:10:32,639
Speaker 1: been there. I would like to apologize to any friend.

1282
01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:34,519
Speaker 1: I've done that too, like in the past. I mean

1283
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:38,160
Speaker 1: not recently, but like some years ago. You talk. You know,

1284
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:41,600
Speaker 1: I haven't involved y'all? All? Yeah, and and bring that

1285
01:10:41,920 --> 01:10:43,240
Speaker 1: out I do. Before we get out of here, want

1286
01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:45,360
Speaker 1: to get to our homemail real quick. Because we don't

1287
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:50,400
Speaker 1: win over in y'all still get our episodes? God damnit. Anyways, ladies,

1288
01:10:50,600 --> 01:10:53,640
Speaker 1: how do y'all find these men? So what we're talking about? Dating? Um?

1289
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:56,160
Speaker 1: This listener said, Hi, I'm twenty five and getting back

1290
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,400
Speaker 1: into the dating world after being in a two and

1291
01:10:58,439 --> 01:11:01,800
Speaker 1: a half year relationship. I've I'm involved with a few

1292
01:11:01,880 --> 01:11:04,240
Speaker 1: guys who are really cool and that I've been very

1293
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:07,759
Speaker 1: upfront about, um what I wanted from them, which is sex,

1294
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:10,559
Speaker 1: and things with them have been pretty well. My issue

1295
01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:12,800
Speaker 1: with them and other guys is that I'm still not

1296
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:15,559
Speaker 1: finding men who are willing to explore sexually like I am.

1297
01:11:15,960 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 1: The guys are either acting like they want a relationship,

1298
01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: which I know they don't want that for me, and

1299
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:21,400
Speaker 1: I already told them I don't want that and it's

1300
01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,320
Speaker 1: a turn off. And they even act like they're not

1301
01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 1: really interested in threesomes, like they're low key possessive. I'm

1302
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 1: ready to level up from vanilla sex. How do you

1303
01:11:29,479 --> 01:11:32,000
Speaker 1: find men who are open to trying different things sexually?

1304
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:34,880
Speaker 1: Is the age? Do they just not want that from me?

1305
01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:37,519
Speaker 1: Should I try someone of a different race? I'm black,

1306
01:11:37,600 --> 01:11:39,080
Speaker 1: by the way, and I don't want to think race

1307
01:11:39,120 --> 01:11:41,479
Speaker 1: plays apart. But I know there are stigmas of certain

1308
01:11:41,560 --> 01:11:44,280
Speaker 1: on certain things, and I'm really only attracted to black men?

1309
01:11:45,479 --> 01:11:49,280
Speaker 1: Is it just my horrible taste in men? Thanks? Please

1310
01:11:49,320 --> 01:11:52,400
Speaker 1: help a sexually frustrated woman. I actually started sucking white

1311
01:11:52,439 --> 01:11:55,040
Speaker 1: guys for that reason and was that's like kind of

1312
01:11:55,080 --> 01:11:57,479
Speaker 1: how my white guy fucking started, because I was like, Okay, well,

1313
01:11:57,560 --> 01:11:59,639
Speaker 1: like I know I'm into b DSM and niggas won't

1314
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:02,840
Speaker 1: like it him bondaged on like the whole thing fifty

1315
01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:06,599
Speaker 1: shades right, that's a that's a I think household name

1316
01:12:06,640 --> 01:12:09,760
Speaker 1: for But I knew I was liking that nasty ship,

1317
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,439
Speaker 1: and I was just assuming niggas wouldn't like it. That

1318
01:12:12,600 --> 01:12:15,160
Speaker 1: was really it was all assumption, like yeah, because I

1319
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,839
Speaker 1: want to speak on the other end of the spectrum.

1320
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:22,040
Speaker 1: I've never been with uh latina, a white Asian. I

1321
01:12:22,080 --> 01:12:25,160
Speaker 1: mean they've been mixed sometimes, but always with black and

1322
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:28,320
Speaker 1: they never even Puerto Rican black nicks only speak Spanish. UM,

1323
01:12:29,360 --> 01:12:35,559
Speaker 1: so they're not because they're black only. I've only dealt

1324
01:12:35,640 --> 01:12:38,800
Speaker 1: with UM with black men, and so I wouldn't say

1325
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:41,240
Speaker 1: that you do have to switch race. I will say

1326
01:12:41,280 --> 01:12:43,840
Speaker 1: they are a little bit more guarded and opening up

1327
01:12:43,920 --> 01:12:48,519
Speaker 1: about what they do. But not only that, I think

1328
01:12:48,560 --> 01:12:50,439
Speaker 1: the number one thing that I hear too is niggas

1329
01:12:50,479 --> 01:12:53,600
Speaker 1: be scared to be exposed, and so they have a

1330
01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 1: fear that they're going to be judged by even the

1331
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:57,360
Speaker 1: woman that they're talking to. I mean, we're in this

1332
01:12:57,560 --> 01:13:01,400
Speaker 1: era of shots and all that ship UM, and so

1333
01:13:02,160 --> 01:13:06,040
Speaker 1: I've literally clearly I talked about pegging. I've pegged black men.

1334
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:07,560
Speaker 1: I've had three simple with black men. I've been the

1335
01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: sex clubs with black men. I've you know, done the

1336
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: spitting and mouths, the b DSM, the bondage that I've

1337
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:15,599
Speaker 1: done everything with black men. So I don't want any

1338
01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,840
Speaker 1: of our listeners UM to feel like they have to

1339
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:20,599
Speaker 1: step out of their race to get away from vanilla sex. UM.

1340
01:13:20,720 --> 01:13:23,880
Speaker 1: I will say that you need to be okay with

1341
01:13:24,040 --> 01:13:27,439
Speaker 1: maybe just not involving yourself with someone who's not open sexually. UM.

1342
01:13:27,520 --> 01:13:30,680
Speaker 1: I brought up a recent UM conversation where I was

1343
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:33,840
Speaker 1: talking to this football player and he knew I pegged

1344
01:13:33,920 --> 01:13:36,760
Speaker 1: some niggas and he felt like, oh, well, if they

1345
01:13:36,880 --> 01:13:39,280
Speaker 1: let you peg them, then you don't niggas that sucked

1346
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,240
Speaker 1: other niggas, which means you're sucking gay man and I

1347
01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:42,560
Speaker 1: don't want to suck you because I don't want to

1348
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,120
Speaker 1: a woman who was sucking gay men and it was

1349
01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:46,320
Speaker 1: just the folk, and I was like, well, I'm fine

1350
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:49,320
Speaker 1: with just us never having sex. You're going into this

1351
01:13:50,720 --> 01:13:53,240
Speaker 1: and guess what, you don't know all of the partners

1352
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:55,680
Speaker 1: of the women that you've had sex with. Now. It

1353
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:58,680
Speaker 1: was just like, you have to be okay with just

1354
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 1: not having sex with someone who doesn't match your sexual

1355
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:05,280
Speaker 1: um compatibility. And it's as simple as a question period,

1356
01:14:05,280 --> 01:14:09,040
Speaker 1: literally as simple as period, Are you open sexually, sexually

1357
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:11,720
Speaker 1: or or to this or would you ever do this?

1358
01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:15,720
Speaker 1: Star there into our relationship? Would you be open to

1359
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:18,519
Speaker 1: trying new things? You know what I'm saying. It's as

1360
01:14:18,600 --> 01:14:22,000
Speaker 1: simple as literally asking a question. But if she's dealing

1361
01:14:22,080 --> 01:14:24,800
Speaker 1: with so many men now that aren't there, I think

1362
01:14:24,880 --> 01:14:27,040
Speaker 1: you have to be okay with just not giving up

1363
01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:29,960
Speaker 1: the pussy. I would ask if she said, like, I'm

1364
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:32,800
Speaker 1: gonna be real like five, I was peggan because twenty two,

1365
01:14:33,120 --> 01:14:36,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, I think that a younger

1366
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:39,640
Speaker 1: man can be regarded. And also if you don't have

1367
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 1: enough confidence to ask for what you want, that's another

1368
01:14:42,920 --> 01:14:46,439
Speaker 1: thing too, Like let's say, like, you know what you want,

1369
01:14:47,040 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: men will receive it that way. But if you're like,

1370
01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:52,200
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe we could. No, I'm not gonna

1371
01:14:52,200 --> 01:14:54,479
Speaker 1: tell you that. What I'm saying as a woman, you

1372
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:56,560
Speaker 1: need to know what you like, what do you like?

1373
01:14:57,040 --> 01:14:59,599
Speaker 1: You need to know what turns you on. You need

1374
01:14:59,680 --> 01:15:02,320
Speaker 1: to know the spots to touch, so that way when

1375
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:04,720
Speaker 1: you come you know, when you're about to have sex

1376
01:15:04,800 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 1: with a man, you know what you like. This is

1377
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:08,439
Speaker 1: what I like. Well, what Whey said makes a lot

1378
01:15:08,479 --> 01:15:10,639
Speaker 1: of sense. She's she said she wants to get away

1379
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:12,720
Speaker 1: from vanilla sex, so a lot of these things that

1380
01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:15,680
Speaker 1: maybe she's introducing in the text message. She's also not

1381
01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:22,960
Speaker 1: confident that she's like she's try with somebody. She just

1382
01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:27,479
Speaker 1: wants she and she I really don't know how deep

1383
01:15:27,520 --> 01:15:31,280
Speaker 1: you want to explore. But I literally the only thing

1384
01:15:31,320 --> 01:15:34,760
Speaker 1: I will say about age is yes, it's true if

1385
01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:36,439
Speaker 1: you funk with someone a little older, they've been around

1386
01:15:36,479 --> 01:15:39,360
Speaker 1: the block. They're not usually gonna be like Teeter tottering

1387
01:15:39,400 --> 01:15:41,640
Speaker 1: on whether they'll do something or not with you, and

1388
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:43,880
Speaker 1: they may have already experienced it. So you might like that.

1389
01:15:44,600 --> 01:15:47,240
Speaker 1: I mean, but I can't see how young men. Young

1390
01:15:47,280 --> 01:15:50,240
Speaker 1: men are vibrant and want to try to ship. I'm

1391
01:15:50,280 --> 01:15:52,360
Speaker 1: saying it's it's a toss up. I just will say

1392
01:15:52,400 --> 01:15:55,679
Speaker 1: that I think that with older men, they probably already

1393
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:59,240
Speaker 1: been through and can help you go through the things

1394
01:15:59,320 --> 01:16:02,120
Speaker 1: that you want to go through. So I am so

1395
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,880
Speaker 1: glad that you guys were able to join us. I

1396
01:16:03,960 --> 01:16:06,519
Speaker 1: hope that y'all enjoyed this long episode. There were jokes,

1397
01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,320
Speaker 1: there was storytelling, and then we got able to open

1398
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:11,400
Speaker 1: up a little bit more about what we're looking for.

1399
01:16:11,800 --> 01:16:16,560
Speaker 1: I think the word um of the year should be manifestation.

1400
01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:20,160
Speaker 1: You talk about manifesting so much and I just love it.

1401
01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:23,320
Speaker 1: Like I said, you manifested everything. What can people expect

1402
01:16:23,400 --> 01:16:30,040
Speaker 1: from b Samone? Yes, more makeup? Um uh, tour to Martin,

1403
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:33,920
Speaker 1: checked toward dates on my Instagram movies. I'm auditioning for movies.

1404
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:37,240
Speaker 1: I want to do more films and stand up and

1405
01:16:37,479 --> 01:16:39,599
Speaker 1: you know she she's about to make you busy, bitch,

1406
01:16:40,960 --> 01:16:48,920
Speaker 1: You're about to be about I love you, look, yeah,

1407
01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:59,920
Speaker 1: I gotta I can't Instagram page. Yeah, but I want

1408
01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:01,840
Speaker 1: to thank all of you guys for tuning in. As

1409
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,559
Speaker 1: you guys know, we are again on tour, so come

1410
01:17:04,600 --> 01:17:07,599
Speaker 1: see us. That's horrible decisions dot com. Also, we're gonna

1411
01:17:07,640 --> 01:17:09,840
Speaker 1: leave you guys with a five minute bonus clip. Um,

1412
01:17:09,960 --> 01:17:11,880
Speaker 1: do you have I guess she's just working. I want

1413
01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:14,719
Speaker 1: to say, does Megan have anything? But Megan she's actually

1414
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:18,120
Speaker 1: um an institation school. So she about to graduate in

1415
01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:21,040
Speaker 1: February and we're opening up a spa in Columbus. She's

1416
01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:26,120
Speaker 1: gonna manage it, speaking it. We're saying that we're opening June.

1417
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:30,600
Speaker 1: Hopefully that'll be all over thet it is. Yeah, thank you,

1418
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:34,000
Speaker 1: and and I love your cameraman everything we stay over here.

1419
01:17:34,040 --> 01:17:43,360
Speaker 1: He's classic shout out, shout great age. He's like, I'm like,

1420
01:17:43,439 --> 01:17:48,240
Speaker 1: I love him. Yeah. Again, we're gonna leave you guys

1421
01:17:48,280 --> 01:17:51,839
Speaker 1: on a five minute bonus clip from our Patreon episode.

1422
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,679
Speaker 1: As you guys know, we give you guys three bonus

1423
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:57,680
Speaker 1: episodes every month, so that's a total of seven to

1424
01:17:57,880 --> 01:18:00,599
Speaker 1: eight episodes every month, depending on how many Mondays during

1425
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:05,240
Speaker 1: the month. Also, um, we are allowing our patrons to

1426
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:08,680
Speaker 1: get pre sell tickets. As you guys know, literally all

1427
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:10,439
Speaker 1: of our patrons brought up all of the v I

1428
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,639
Speaker 1: P Meet and greet tickets before they were even released

1429
01:18:12,640 --> 01:18:14,600
Speaker 1: to the public. For our first New York show. So

1430
01:18:15,040 --> 01:18:17,080
Speaker 1: it does help to become a patron, and at the

1431
01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:19,479
Speaker 1: fifteen dollar tier, you guys can get stuff like this.

1432
01:18:19,680 --> 01:18:23,200
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a Horrible Decisions UM crew neck sweatshirt and

1433
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:26,000
Speaker 1: you know, repping my little brand. But as a fifteen

1434
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:28,519
Speaker 1: dollar to your patron, you are able to get this.

1435
01:18:28,760 --> 01:18:31,800
Speaker 1: Every four months we send you a crew neck, a mug,

1436
01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:34,240
Speaker 1: a T shirt, UM, everything, just so you guys can

1437
01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:37,519
Speaker 1: start having your you know, your your T shirts and

1438
01:18:37,800 --> 01:18:40,120
Speaker 1: and all of your Horrible Decisions stuff. So again we're

1439
01:18:40,160 --> 01:18:42,439
Speaker 1: leaving you with a five minute bonus clip. Join us

1440
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:46,439
Speaker 1: at patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions for everything that

1441
01:18:46,479 --> 01:18:48,639
Speaker 1: I just mentioned UM, And again I want to thank

1442
01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:51,400
Speaker 1: you guys for tuning into Yeah another episode of corpor

1443
01:18:51,439 --> 01:18:56,799
Speaker 1: Decisions by UM. Make it clear that you're not interested

1444
01:18:56,840 --> 01:19:00,200
Speaker 1: in jumping straight into a relationship off bat, that it

1445
01:19:00,360 --> 01:19:03,160
Speaker 1: is fine to date multiple people at once. I'm I'm

1446
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:06,800
Speaker 1: asking what you think about that, because in dating right now,

1447
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:10,439
Speaker 1: I'm making it very clear what I'm dating for and

1448
01:19:10,479 --> 01:19:13,559
Speaker 1: I'm dating with purpose. I'm not dating to fuck, I'm

1449
01:19:13,600 --> 01:19:17,000
Speaker 1: not dating for a situation ship. I'm not dating just

1450
01:19:17,160 --> 01:19:19,240
Speaker 1: to have someone in my phone, wish me good night

1451
01:19:19,280 --> 01:19:22,320
Speaker 1: and good morning. I'm dating with purpose, So this is

1452
01:19:22,360 --> 01:19:29,320
Speaker 1: actually something that I would suggest against. So what about you.

1453
01:19:29,720 --> 01:19:31,840
Speaker 1: The entirety of me being on the show, I've been

1454
01:19:31,880 --> 01:19:34,479
Speaker 1: waiting for this. I've been waiting to talk about this.

1455
01:19:35,280 --> 01:19:39,320
Speaker 1: I have goose bumps. Actually, I've been waiting for this

1456
01:19:39,600 --> 01:19:43,759
Speaker 1: subject in particular only because I agree with the article

1457
01:19:44,280 --> 01:19:47,240
Speaker 1: because I'm on the opposite spectrum of where you are

1458
01:19:47,400 --> 01:19:50,160
Speaker 1: socially in regards to dating. Because I was in a

1459
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:53,479
Speaker 1: relationship for four years. It ended a few months ago,

1460
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:57,680
Speaker 1: and I don't want to go back into the rigamaro

1461
01:19:58,000 --> 01:20:00,720
Speaker 1: of being in a relationship. But niggas don't like to

1462
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:03,360
Speaker 1: be lonely. So what I do is I will never

1463
01:20:03,439 --> 01:20:05,720
Speaker 1: put you in a situation to where I'm hypnotizing you

1464
01:20:05,800 --> 01:20:07,680
Speaker 1: into thinking something that is not because I don't like

1465
01:20:07,840 --> 01:20:10,400
Speaker 1: using people for personal benefit. So what I say is

1466
01:20:10,439 --> 01:20:12,679
Speaker 1: off the bat like. Look, I'm not looking to be serious.

1467
01:20:12,920 --> 01:20:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm just looking to have somebody on my side. I'm

1468
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:16,519
Speaker 1: looking to show with somebody. But this isn't that. If

1469
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:18,400
Speaker 1: you're in a position to where you only date niggas

1470
01:20:18,680 --> 01:20:20,639
Speaker 1: with the hope that I become your boyfriend, I'm probably

1471
01:20:20,680 --> 01:20:23,000
Speaker 1: never gonna become your boyfriend, and we should stop this now.

1472
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:25,280
Speaker 1: This is what I say verbatim. Some women or with it,

1473
01:20:25,520 --> 01:20:27,519
Speaker 1: some womenate. Some women say that they're with it and

1474
01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:29,080
Speaker 1: they wind up not being with it. But you know

1475
01:20:29,439 --> 01:20:32,200
Speaker 1: you only I'm just all about honesty because what a

1476
01:20:32,280 --> 01:20:35,479
Speaker 1: lot of niggas do, my friends included, is to let

1477
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:37,200
Speaker 1: the woman think whatever they want to think because they

1478
01:20:37,240 --> 01:20:41,320
Speaker 1: don't want to lose the pussy. I just hate that

1479
01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:44,840
Speaker 1: there's so much emphasis for men to just like live

1480
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:48,040
Speaker 1: for the pussy. Not lying. That's that's it. That's that's

1481
01:20:48,080 --> 01:20:51,479
Speaker 1: that's strong. It's not it's coercion. They're co worse a

1482
01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:56,439
Speaker 1: woman think manipulation and lying is two different things because

1483
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:59,679
Speaker 1: manipulation I never lied to you. True. Well, I'm excited

1484
01:20:59,720 --> 01:21:02,760
Speaker 1: that you're even kind of opened up about, um, where

1485
01:21:02,840 --> 01:21:07,800
Speaker 1: you are dating, because actually the horrible decision for this

1486
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:14,720
Speaker 1: week is we are livingingleh in an cut. Well, it's

1487
01:21:14,760 --> 01:21:17,360
Speaker 1: not nineties, I can say what thousands kind of world is.

1488
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:25,400
Speaker 1: Keep your head up. I Hey, so it's crazy because

1489
01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:29,000
Speaker 1: you are living single as a black man. I'm living

1490
01:21:29,040 --> 01:21:31,479
Speaker 1: single as a black woman. Um, but a lot of

1491
01:21:31,520 --> 01:21:34,880
Speaker 1: people put value on whether they're being claimed or not

1492
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:37,960
Speaker 1: by the opposite sex or the same sex, um if

1493
01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:43,080
Speaker 1: they're in the alphabet community as they have been labeled recently. UM, So,

1494
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:47,000
Speaker 1: I wanted to start off by saying, you are what

1495
01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:52,200
Speaker 1: thirty approaching thirty almost thirty in February? Okay, and I

1496
01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:55,880
Speaker 1: will be thirty next year as well, and we are single,

1497
01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:58,440
Speaker 1: and I wanted to, um, I guess start the conversation

1498
01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:04,640
Speaker 1: off with why are you single? Um? Well I recently. Ever,

1499
01:22:04,800 --> 01:22:06,519
Speaker 1: if everybody listening to this that wants to get my

1500
01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:09,840
Speaker 1: show a chance, listen to seventeen point one. Uh. As

1501
01:22:09,920 --> 01:22:12,120
Speaker 1: I said earlier in the episode, I was in a

1502
01:22:12,160 --> 01:22:15,360
Speaker 1: relationship for four years and it ended, and me just

1503
01:22:15,479 --> 01:22:17,719
Speaker 1: being honest with myself, I pretty much wasted my excess

1504
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:21,120
Speaker 1: time because she dated me off of potential as opposed

1505
01:22:21,120 --> 01:22:23,960
Speaker 1: to who I really am. And as of right now,

1506
01:22:24,320 --> 01:22:26,160
Speaker 1: can you go into that more? What do you mean

1507
01:22:26,680 --> 01:22:29,479
Speaker 1: she dated you on your potential instead of who you are?

1508
01:22:30,120 --> 01:22:33,240
Speaker 1: So and in my experience and with a whole bunch

1509
01:22:33,240 --> 01:22:36,800
Speaker 1: of experience with my friends as well, uh, women will

1510
01:22:36,960 --> 01:22:38,759
Speaker 1: be in our life and they'll see that I'm charming,

1511
01:22:38,800 --> 01:22:41,080
Speaker 1: They'll see them smart to see that the most spoken whatever,

1512
01:22:41,439 --> 01:22:43,600
Speaker 1: and that should aligned with things that they see for

1513
01:22:43,840 --> 01:22:46,560
Speaker 1: me as opposed to being with me for me, So

1514
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:49,160
Speaker 1: they'll put all this ship on top of on my

1515
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:52,240
Speaker 1: plate and put me in all these hypothetical scenarios or

1516
01:22:52,280 --> 01:22:54,800
Speaker 1: what I should be doing as opposed to just appreciating

1517
01:22:54,840 --> 01:22:56,880
Speaker 1: me for who I am. So because of that, years

1518
01:22:56,920 --> 01:22:59,720
Speaker 1: and years went by and she started to feel disappointment

1519
01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:02,800
Speaker 1: because I wasn't matching up to who she thought I

1520
01:23:02,800 --> 01:23:05,519
Speaker 1: should be at the time when I'm the opposite spectrum.

1521
01:23:05,560 --> 01:23:07,160
Speaker 1: I was just accepting her for who she was as

1522
01:23:07,200 --> 01:23:10,040
Speaker 1: a person. So just the psychology of where we both

1523
01:23:10,080 --> 01:23:12,360
Speaker 1: were at was just never matching up. So where I'm

1524
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:15,240
Speaker 1: at right now is I'm not willing to go back

1525
01:23:15,320 --> 01:23:17,719
Speaker 1: into where I was at because now I'm more free,

1526
01:23:18,040 --> 01:23:19,920
Speaker 1: I'm able to do more stuff, I'm able to be

1527
01:23:20,000 --> 01:23:22,599
Speaker 1: more creative, I don't feel as bound, I don't feel

1528
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:25,120
Speaker 1: guilty being with my friends, and it's a certain level

1529
01:23:25,160 --> 01:23:27,360
Speaker 1: of freedom that I'm enjoying right now that I don't

1530
01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:29,880
Speaker 1: want to have stripped away. That just naturally stripped away

1531
01:23:29,880 --> 01:23:30,880
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship