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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 3: I refuse to announce my pregnancy because I know how

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Speaker 3: judgmental my family is.

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Speaker 4: That's my secret.

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Speaker 3: I forty female, just recently found out that I am pregnant,

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Speaker 3: like eight months pregnant at this point.

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Speaker 5: Dying you eight months pregnant, that's like you're ready to pop, girly,

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Speaker 5: that's actually like cryptic pregnancies are wild to.

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Speaker 6: Me, terrifying.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no, it's so scary.

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Speaker 7: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I have like one month to be like like, oh,

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Speaker 5: she got a baby?

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Speaker 4: Prep Yeah, how to be a mom?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, oh my gosh, that does not sound pleasant.

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Speaker 3: My fiance forty mail, and I were ever planning on

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Speaker 3: having children. I have never wanted kids of my own

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Speaker 3: and have always been uprunt about this with my family

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Speaker 3: and friends. By the way, this comes from totally diagnosing you.

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Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 3: to the rs gosh Okay Storytime Separated And I'm Anjie, I'm.

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Speaker 5: Sophia, I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice, goofily,

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Speaker 5: But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 4: We just know what we would do in this situation.

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Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do.

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Speaker 3: In the comment, OPI says, due to a series of

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Speaker 3: bizarre medical events, I ended up pregnant despite long term

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Speaker 3: use of very effective for me birth control.

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Speaker 5: Also terrifying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's why I always hear all the time

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Speaker 3: the idbabies.

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Speaker 6: But it's other birth control too, But find a way terrifying.

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Speaker 6: But also, she says, she says it very effective for me.

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Speaker 8: Clearly not I'm not clearly not clearly not.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know because a medication masked basically all the

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Speaker 3: symptoms of early pregnancy. It was a fluke that I

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Speaker 3: found out at twenty eight weeks, and it wasn't a

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Speaker 3: happy surprise. I spent several days in complete his hearing fair.

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Speaker 3: Now a month later, I have come to terms for

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Speaker 3: the most part, all right, At this point, there's nothing

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Speaker 3: to do would finish this strange and unplanned journey. My

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Speaker 3: fiance and I have decided to pursue adoption through a

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Speaker 3: very good agency. We're doing all the right things for

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Speaker 3: the baby medically, and we think we're doing the right

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Speaker 3: thing with the adoption as well. We believe that kids

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Speaker 3: deserve a family who was excited for them and delighted

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Speaker 3: by them, and we can't give this child that experience.

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Speaker 3: So here's where we may be the holes. We have

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Speaker 3: told only the people closest to us about the pregnancy

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Speaker 3: and our plans. This includes our closest friends and confidants,

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Speaker 3: but only includes two members of my family, namely too,

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Speaker 3: that I thought would support us without pressuring us to

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Speaker 3: do anything aside from what we've chosen. We're both close

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Speaker 3: to my family as a whole, but they can be pushy.

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Speaker 3: The other members of my extended family are very religious

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Speaker 3: and honestly pretty judgmental. I think they would probably mean well,

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Speaker 3: but would actually end up stressing both myself and my

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Speaker 3: fiance out during a time that's already stressful.

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Speaker 6: Of course, that.

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Speaker 3: Means shutting them out of everything. No part in the birth,

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Speaker 3: no information about the adopt option, and nothing. I know

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Speaker 3: this would hurt them if they knew, but I think

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Speaker 3: protecting my peace is priority right now.

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Speaker 4: Am I the a hole?

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Speaker 6: And there are some comments, but yeah, giving.

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Speaker 5: A child up for adoption is already an incredibly emotional

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Speaker 5: time so just now when we just found a month ago.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think you're good.

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Speaker 9: M M.

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Speaker 3: This is an edit to answer some common questions. My

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Speaker 3: fiance and I are seeing and will continue to see,

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Speaker 3: a counselor to help us navigate this process and make

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Speaker 3: the best decisions for ourselves and the baby. No, we

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Speaker 3: are not going to let anyone in our family adopt

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Speaker 3: our child. I don't think that would be the best

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Speaker 3: decision for anyone for many reasons. I didn't ask if

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Speaker 3: I was the a hole for choosing adoption, and I'm

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Speaker 3: not interested in opinions on this. It isn't an easy decision,

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Speaker 3: but it's the one we've come to.

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Speaker 6: Please stick to the topic.

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Speaker 3: We are not planning to keep this a secret from

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Speaker 3: these parts of our families forever. We, as a couple

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Speaker 3: who is going through an extremely stressful time, want time

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Speaker 3: to get through the last few weeks of my pregnancy,

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Speaker 3: the birth, and the postpartum processing that we need.

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Speaker 5: If they get mad, you can just tell them you

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Speaker 5: only knew for a month.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, right, Like we didn't even know.

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Speaker 4: We didn't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're super aware of DNA testing and how secrets

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Speaker 3: work in that they don't once we have some room

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Speaker 3: to breathe.

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Speaker 6: We'll sit everyone down and explain our decisions.

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Speaker 3: But months eight to nine of high risk pregnancy isn't

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Speaker 3: the time to have my very religious family members breathing

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Speaker 3: down my neck. And there are some comments, But from that,

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Speaker 3: I honestly feel like you have.

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Speaker 4: Your answer though.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like you know, you know what you want to do.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it really matters if you're an a

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Speaker 3: hole or not. No, I think it's not that you are. Yeah, yeah, definitely,

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Speaker 3: I would say no for sure.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but incredibly personal decision.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know what you want to do, So

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Speaker 3: I don't think it matters.

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Speaker 4: But we do have some comments.

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Speaker 6: Fun More seventy three fifty three says if you are.

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Speaker 3: Arranging an adoption without any further contact for you with

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Speaker 3: the baby, then there's no point in telling the family.

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Speaker 6: This is at least said soonest.

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Speaker 3: Mended situation Opie says, we're still making those decisions. If

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Speaker 3: we do have contact, we will sit down both of

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Speaker 3: our extended families and tell them. Large Client sixty twenty

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Speaker 3: four says, not the aple tell whomever you want to

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Speaker 3: when you want to, just beware that if you wait

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Speaker 3: too long, someone else may spill the beans and disrupt

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Speaker 3: your timetable. That's a good point, true wrong. Penn sixty

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Speaker 3: one seventy nine says, as someone who is adopted, I

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Speaker 3: had to wait until New York State unsealed the records

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Speaker 3: did try finding my birth parents. I just wanted to

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Speaker 3: find out if there was any medical history to know

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Speaker 3: of and to say thank you for making the decision

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Speaker 3: to put me up for adoption as opposed to the

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Speaker 3: other choice, and let them know that I had amazing

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Speaker 3: parents and a wonderful childhood slash life so far. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: my bio mom was already deceased, and no luck finding

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Speaker 3: my biodad. So even if you don't want to keep

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Speaker 3: in contact, they may want this info.

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Speaker 5: That's a really good point. And I think that, I mean,

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Speaker 5: I've never gone through this situation. I think that whenever

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Speaker 5: you go through the adoption process, you should always be

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Speaker 5: providing those medical those relevant medical informations or information, because

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Speaker 5: for a kid who do not know their medical information

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Speaker 5: is so incredibly dangerous to not know that you have

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Speaker 5: a history, like to go to the doctors and for

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Speaker 5: that way, like do you have a history of kid,

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Speaker 5: do you have a history of.

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Speaker 6: You know I always say yes.

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Speaker 5: By the way, even if you don't always say yes, well, yeah,

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Speaker 5: you want them to check. Yeah, But yeah, I think

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Speaker 5: you're I mean, you're probably getting all of this information anyway,

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Speaker 5: but I do recommend always sharing that medical information.

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Speaker 3: Also, when I found my mom, it was pretty wild

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Speaker 3: seeing someone who looked like me for the first time

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Speaker 3: in my whole life. OPU responds, thank you for this comment.

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad you've had a wonderful life and family.

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Speaker 3: We've filled out tons of paperwork for the agency, including

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Speaker 3: exhaustive medical histories for our families, mine, especially because I have.

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Speaker 6: Close relationships with them.

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Speaker 3: We're still deciding on how much contact and involvement will have,

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Speaker 3: but this really helps. Yeah, and here applied to a

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Speaker 3: very long comment. It isn't so much that I think

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't be a good parent. I adopted my stepson

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Speaker 3: when he was eight and did an okay job. If

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Speaker 3: I say so myself. There's just a lot in my

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Speaker 3: life right now that isn't compatible with a baby. I

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Speaker 3: have a hectic and demanding job, our financial situation would

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Speaker 3: be heavily strained. I have a lovely family that would

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Speaker 3: try to support me in the best way they could,

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Speaker 3: but probably would not be able to actually help much.

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Speaker 3: And while I had a good childhood, I'm rather like

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Speaker 3: my own mother and would probably provide a chaotic childhood

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Speaker 3: for my daughter, which wouldn't be ideal. I know I

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Speaker 3: had one weird and messy, still full of love, but

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Speaker 3: not what I want for my baby.

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Speaker 6: We do have an update from twenty two days later.

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Speaker 7: This kid is out.

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Speaker 6: Baby is here, Baby is here. I couldn't think of

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Speaker 6: anything new, todad Hello everyone.

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Speaker 3: I recently posted about my forty female unplanned pregnancy and

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Speaker 3: how I didn't want to tell certain members of my

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Speaker 3: family because myself and my fiance had decided to pursue

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Speaker 3: an adoption. Due to medical complications, our baby ended up

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Speaker 3: being born at thirty five weeks we Luckily we were

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Speaker 3: able to get to the amazing hospital with specialists that

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Speaker 3: we needed prior to her delivery. We had a little girl,

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Speaker 3: and from the time they laid her on my chest

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Speaker 3: in the delivery room, I knew I was in trouble.

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Speaker 4: I think I know where this is going.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I think that is a case with.

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Speaker 5: A lot of adoptions, or like a lot of parents

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Speaker 5: who you know are thinking about the adoption process, and

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Speaker 5: then of course having the birth of a child is

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Speaker 5: an incredibly emotional process obviously. Yeah, and also just releases

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Speaker 5: a lot of hormones because that like biologically like you

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Speaker 5: need like you need hormones that say, like you like

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Speaker 5: this baby, take care of it.

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Speaker 10: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Literally, yeah that makes sense and I.

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Speaker 6: Think literally changes.

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Speaker 4: It's never an.

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Speaker 5: Easy process to go through an adoption as a parent.

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Speaker 3: So after it lot of talking between my fiance and myself,

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Speaker 3: we've decided not to go through.

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Speaker 6: With the adoption and instead keep our baby.

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Speaker 5: I'm glad you guys, you know we're able to make that.

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Speaker 7: Now you're gonna have to tell your parents.

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Speaker 10: Yeah, well you'll have to tell people, but surprise crazier

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Speaker 10: crazier to like, I mean, obviously you didn't know that

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Speaker 10: you're real to keep the baby, but now it's absolutely

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Speaker 10: a crazy thing to go to your family members who

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Speaker 10: didn't know and be.

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Speaker 5: Like, yeah, we have a base everything, you're pregnant.

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Speaker 3: They're like, no, you're time to do a real surprise

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Speaker 3: day on the on the guests that never happens. You

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Speaker 3: never get to know a friend and you're like, surprised,

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Speaker 3: it's my birthday.

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Speaker 5: You can do that you send out like first birthday

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Speaker 5: invites and they're like who's this four yeah, and you're

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Speaker 5: like our baby and they're like what, And you're like,

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Speaker 5: what are you talking about? We've always had this, babe.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you're crazy.

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Speaker 3: Actually, we're a stable couple with good jobs, reliable housing,

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Speaker 3: and a great support system, so we're equipped to do this.

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Speaker 3: And yes, I've finished notifying all family members. They all

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Speaker 3: take it very well considering the circumstances, and we do

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Speaker 3: have a comment that says, I'm glad they were able

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Speaker 3: to come to this decision themselves without their family's inputs.

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Speaker 3: Too often, especially young people who want to give up

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Speaker 3: a child for adoption, meet with great resistance from family

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Speaker 3: members who offer promises of help.

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Speaker 4: In a village.

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Speaker 3: All too often those offers run dry pretty soon, and

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Speaker 3: the struggling parents are just expected to suck it up

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Speaker 3: and adapt because that's.

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Speaker 8: What parents do.

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Speaker 3: At least they're old enough to make an informed decision

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Speaker 3: about whether or not this is something that they can

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Speaker 3: realistically do.

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Speaker 6: And I totally agree. And then they have like jobs too.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean these are like, you know, people that

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Speaker 5: are in their forties, maybe like maybe she's in her

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Speaker 5: late thirties.

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Speaker 6: But you know this is these are.

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Speaker 5: People that are financially equipped for this, really have some

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Speaker 5: family members at least who are supportive and stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and we're I think what I really like is that

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Speaker 5: they kind of went through everything and we're like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: you know we have like don't necessarily or didn't necessarily

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Speaker 5: want this kid. We weren't kind of thinking about that.

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Speaker 5: Are we able to give this child life that the

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Speaker 5: kid deserves? And I kind of went through all that before.

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Speaker 5: But that's the end of that story. I vented to

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Speaker 5: my husband about my mother's secret because I'm tired of

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Speaker 5: her rents, oh, just shut up mom.

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Speaker 4: A lot of people.

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Speaker 5: I will try to keep this as short as I can.

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Speaker 4: Data point one.

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Speaker 5: I am autistic, have an autistic husband, and we have

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Speaker 5: a very honest relationship. I lie to him once, a

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Speaker 5: very small, silly lie.

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Speaker 4: And now I arranged a date.

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Speaker 5: To formally apologize. This is to show how transparent we are.

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Speaker 5: We simply can't lie to each other. Call it a

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Speaker 5: DNA level honesty. By the way, this comes from Scoopia

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Speaker 5: Disco and if you want to ssmit your own stories,

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Speaker 5: go to the r slash.

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Speaker 4: Okay, storytime suppered it.

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Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, I'm Riley, and.

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Speaker 4: We're here to give good advice, schoof Ley. But we

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Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.

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Speaker 5: So let's know what you would do in the commons

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Speaker 5: and op says Data point two. My biological dad left

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Speaker 5: my mom and me when I was two. Then my

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Speaker 5: mom immigrated to the country we are established in now

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Speaker 5: when I was four. From age four to nine, before

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Speaker 5: she permanently brought me here too, I was left without parents,

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Speaker 5: with my aunt in my homeland.

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Speaker 2: Data point three.

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Speaker 5: My mom married a man here, a prince charming, when

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Speaker 5: I was six. I'm twenty seven now, so I've been

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Speaker 5: calling this man dad for twenty two years, and I

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Speaker 5: couldn't love him more even if he was my biological dad.

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Speaker 5: Data point four. After seventeen years of an amazing marriage,

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Speaker 5: my parents relationship started to deteriorate. My mom brought up

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Speaker 5: the topic of divorce several times, but they would always reconcile.

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Speaker 5: Data point five. I've been the one listening to my

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Speaker 5: mom and dad's side all the time because both of

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Speaker 5: them refuse to go to therapy when they need it.

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Speaker 5: My dad is a bit better there though, But my mom,

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Speaker 5: I either listen to her or she'll not open up

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Speaker 5: to anyone until she becomes physically ill untill.

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Speaker 7: It's like an actual problem.

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Speaker 5: Tough man, that's rough to like, not at like your

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Speaker 5: parents can't go to anyone but their child. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 5: so yes, whether I like it or not, I am

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Speaker 5: always the shoulder she cries on because as an immigrant,

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Speaker 5: she never could connect to people here on an emotional

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Speaker 5: level and has no friends. My mom is fifty five,

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Speaker 5: my dad is sixty data point six.

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Speaker 4: My mom and dad run a.

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Speaker 5: Not very successful business together and live in a rental house.

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Speaker 5: So last year, when she started talking about divorce again,

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Speaker 5: I told my husband about it because due to our

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Speaker 5: situation and me running a household and a startup that's

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Speaker 5: being born now with no income, him being the breadwinner,

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Speaker 5: I thought he should be mentally prepared to help my

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Speaker 5: mom with me post divorce, because she wanted to move

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Speaker 5: closer to us and would stay at our place until

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Speaker 5: she found something good for her, whether to rent.

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Speaker 7: Or pot Oh no, no.

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Speaker 2: Never it good.

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Speaker 5: Start to have read a story and yeah, not looking

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Speaker 5: good for you, OPI we're doing that or your husband.

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Speaker 5: My mom had no issues with my husband knowing this secret.

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Speaker 5: Day a point seven. I call this divorce thing a

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Speaker 5: secret because she always prohibits us from saying a word

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Speaker 5: to my dad.

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Speaker 4: Data point eight.

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Speaker 5: Fast forward to last week, after the last update that

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Speaker 5: she felt happy in the marriage again, he told me

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Speaker 5: she one hundred percent decided on divorce and that she

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Speaker 5: would do it in nine months after paying the last

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Speaker 5: bank debt, closing the business and moved out. Does your

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Speaker 5: dad know? I don't think that's crazy. She's telling you

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Speaker 5: that she's divorcing your dad. She has this timeline perfectly

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Speaker 5: adjusted to her needs. This broke me because the last

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Speaker 5: thing I knew was that they were happy again, and

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Speaker 5: now I'm losing a dad for the second time in

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Speaker 5: my life. Well, I'm sure you could sell a relationship

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Speaker 5: with them, yeah, Data point nine. My mom is in

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Speaker 5: the right here. My dad is completely forgotten what romance

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Speaker 5: and love are, and my mom is super mega unhappy.

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Speaker 5: So even if it hurts, I support the split.

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Speaker 4: Data point ten.

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Speaker 5: I told my husband about this new line for several reasons. First,

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Speaker 5: I feel like crap being around my dad because my

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Speaker 5: whole heart tells me that he should know about his

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Speaker 5: own upcoming divorce.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I would have to agree.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's why I stopped going to my parents place.

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Speaker 5: And my dad can't understand why. Uh, you need to

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Speaker 5: tell your mom. You better tell him or I will

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Speaker 5: because this is so unfair. Yeah for everyone in this

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Speaker 5: everyone involved. Oh my goodness, terrible. Second, I feel like

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Speaker 5: my mom is being unfair. She is crafting a perfect

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Speaker 5: timeline for herself while my dad is in the dark,

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Speaker 5: and this feeling of unfairness is eating me from the

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Speaker 5: inside and I need to vent to someone. Third, my

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Speaker 5: therapist is useless here because she tells me I shouldn't

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Speaker 5: be my mom's therapist and should sibly redirect her when

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Speaker 5: she opens the conversation. But I can't do it.

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Speaker 4: It's so funny.

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Speaker 5: Your therapist is giving you good advice and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 5: she was telling me I shouldn't be my mom's freaking

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Speaker 5: emotional bag.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, huh Ey, so.

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Speaker 5: I know how impulsive and emotional she is and she

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Speaker 5: needs someone to open up to. Fourth, whenever she does it,

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Speaker 5: my husband will also be the one supporting, and he

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Speaker 5: has all the rights to know. Fifth, when my mood

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Speaker 5: is crap internally mourning my parents' marriage, my husband has

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Speaker 5: the right to know what's unliving me. So basically, after

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Speaker 5: my mom learned that I told my husband about this

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Speaker 5: new exact deadline, which I told her is an FYI

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Speaker 5: because I didn't even think it was a big deal

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Speaker 5: since my husband already knew about the potential divorce since

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Speaker 5: we got married last year. She hung up on me, yelling,

364
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,080
Speaker 5: saying she'll never taught me anything anymore interesting. Now I

365
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,800
Speaker 5: feel like a complete ahole, as if I have betrayed

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Speaker 5: my mom. But like as a child, yes I'm twenty seven,

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Speaker 5: but I'm.

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Speaker 4: Still their child.

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Speaker 5: I'm also suffering, and I also need to vent.

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Speaker 4: To someone again.

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Speaker 5: I think it's important to realize, even though you feel

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Speaker 5: like you have this responsibility, that your mom is putting

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Speaker 5: too much of an emotional burden on you and this

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00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:35,120
Speaker 5: is an unfair reaction for her to have. Yeah, though

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Speaker 5: I told my mom that I didn't say anything before,

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Speaker 5: but she was draining me with all these divorce happiness,

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00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:45,120
Speaker 5: divorce happiness final divorce cycle conversation and I wasn't obeying

378
00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:48,400
Speaker 5: my therapist and leaving her unattended. But I also need

379
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 5: help and a shoulder to cry on and that's my husband.

380
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 5: She left me on red. We have always been so close,

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00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,560
Speaker 5: best friends. There never was this mother daughter hierarchy. We

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00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,480
Speaker 5: had complete trust, and now I feel like I just

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Speaker 5: destroyed it all.

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Speaker 4: I kind of think they're I.

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Speaker 5: Mean like, I don't know exactly what you mean by that,

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00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,560
Speaker 5: but I yeah, you should be there should.

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00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,280
Speaker 4: Be a little bit of an hierarchy. Yeah, you missed

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Speaker 4: it all destroyed.

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Speaker 6: Whoopsidies, it's all your fault.

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00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,560
Speaker 5: I know that my dad will still be my dad.

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Speaker 5: What I'm mourning is the family I'm losing. My mom

392
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,919
Speaker 5: has always been a hero. She went through heck and

393
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 5: back to raise me before my stepdad aka dad appeared.

394
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,640
Speaker 5: She endured so much in her life dad, first husband,

395
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Speaker 5: two wars, immigration, first years, and crappy jobs. He's not perfect,

396
00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:38,160
Speaker 5: nobody is, but she's my hero. That's why I take

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00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 5: all that burden off her chest whenever I can. But

398
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 5: apparently we reach the point where this dynamic is breached,

399
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,239
Speaker 5: as she no longer trusts me.

400
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,480
Speaker 4: I'm a crappy kiddo.

401
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:47,000
Speaker 9: You're not.

402
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:47,919
Speaker 2: You're not.

403
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 5: He doesn't mean your mom's a bad person or even

404
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 5: necessarily like the worst mom, just means that she doesn't

405
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 5: quite like know how to put up those boundaries and

406
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,480
Speaker 5: maybe he has never had an out and unfortunately you

407
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,119
Speaker 5: got the front of that.

408
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 2: Yeah used to.

409
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,120
Speaker 4: Obviously you can still love.

410
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:06,680
Speaker 5: Her and still think of her as you're here exactly,

411
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 5: but also understanding that this isn't your fault.

412
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,399
Speaker 3: Because it's like a lot of the conversation is about

413
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,960
Speaker 3: like her feelings and the dad's.

414
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,320
Speaker 6: Feelings and stuff. But you have to understand that you

415
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 6: are a very yes, like you hold space.

416
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 3: Of this in this story too, you know, like you,

417
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 3: your feelings are to be considered.

418
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 6: So the fact that, like the fact that like you are,

419
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,440
Speaker 6: like you're, you're in the story.

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00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,080
Speaker 3: You have a unique situation and role in this and

421
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,959
Speaker 3: that comes with its own emotions. So I think all

422
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,960
Speaker 3: of your actions are you know, just surrounding that.

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00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:39,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, what about you? Not your fault? What about you? Agreed?

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00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,040
Speaker 2: Amazing And that's the end of this story.

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Speaker 6: We're going on to the next one.

426
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 5: I refuse to talk to my sister ever again because

427
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 5: she's too sensitive.

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00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 8: You can't handle it.

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00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,320
Speaker 5: Growing up with my male thirty three sister female thirty

430
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 5: five was a wild ride.

431
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,200
Speaker 4: Of different faces for her.

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00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 5: She seems to have settled in to a sensitivity phase

433
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 5: that began when she was twenty five. It doesn't seem

434
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 5: to ease up or get worse, but it is still

435
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,160
Speaker 5: exhausting to listen to it every single time we converse.

436
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,199
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Guru of Stupid Texts,

437
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 5: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

438
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,359
Speaker 5: to the r slash Okay Storytime suburtt. I'm Sophia, I'm Carly,

439
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 5: I'm Riley, and we're here to.

440
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:22,520
Speaker 4: Give good advice.

441
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,800
Speaker 5: Goofley, but we don't have all the answers. We only

442
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 5: know what we'd do, so let's know what you would

443
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 5: do in the comments. Endopisas our father and I are

444
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 5: very positive, hardworking, common sense driven people. You don't, orie, girl.

445
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,919
Speaker 5: We like living on a factual basis and have a

446
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,920
Speaker 5: firm concept of the real world. So and we are

447
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 5: met with negativity, we usually don't know what to say

448
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 5: or how to act, since it's not very common in

449
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 5: her lives. When she was twenty five, our father started

450
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 5: a business and brought me on, but didn't really have

451
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 5: a place for her since she doesn't want to build

452
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,439
Speaker 5: cars or do the paperwork like both our dad I do.

453
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 5: He pays me a realistic wage, and I don't ask

454
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 5: for more. If I left a shop, i'd certainly make

455
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,520
Speaker 5: the same or more. But I love being here. She

456
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 5: thinks he pays for everything for me and thinks I

457
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 5: have zero struggles. I finance everything because I can't pay cash.

458
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 4: For a lot, and.

459
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,680
Speaker 5: I like having a car that doesn't break, updated living spaces,

460
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 5: et cetera. So I can see why she thinks that

461
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 5: she had times when we would talk where she has

462
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,159
Speaker 5: financial issues, and I often tell her that I have

463
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 5: financial troubles sometimes too, to relate and converse about the struggle.

464
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like I really wanted this fancy watch, but I

465
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 7: couldn't buy it, so I was just sad for a week.

466
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 5: I feel like, I'm sure he is in the right here,

467
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:44,760
Speaker 5: but it does feel like in this moment, I'm imagining

468
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,199
Speaker 5: her being like, I'm having a really tough time, like

469
00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,760
Speaker 5: affording my rents. I feel like I don't know if

470
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,119
Speaker 5: I can continue to live in that space. He's like,

471
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,439
Speaker 5: I'm having a really tough time too. I wanted to

472
00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:02,120
Speaker 5: go get a an new watch and I couldn't.

473
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 8: Yeah, sometimes you just gotta listen.

474
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 6: To yeah trouble.

475
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,639
Speaker 4: Don't want to hear your kitchen.

476
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 7: Except for the problem of Olympics.

477
00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 5: She had times when we talk where she has financial issues,

478
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,439
Speaker 5: and I often tell her that I have financial trouble

479
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 5: sometimes too to real aiden converse about the struggle, and

480
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 5: she shrugs it off and thinks I'm lying. Okay, so

481
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:26,320
Speaker 5: I won't say a struggle. Then he goes years without

482
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,920
Speaker 5: having a boyfriend and is crazy about our cat. Now

483
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 5: we can't bring up cats or even funny videos of

484
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 5: people scaring cats because it offends her.

485
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 2: WHOA don't even like having a cat.

486
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 5: Don't even tell me about that cat that you have.

487
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:41,919
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk for it.

488
00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 8: Don't even text me.

489
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,439
Speaker 7: At my house.

490
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 4: You can't talk about your cat.

491
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,879
Speaker 7: I wonder what her thoughts on garfilm is.

492
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,040
Speaker 5: She's like, that is a gross stereotype of cats. My

493
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 5: hat doesn't eat. Cats are lactose intolerant, you monster.

494
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 4: They are.

495
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 5: She I can't take a joke anymore, any joke, no

496
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,200
Speaker 5: matter how.

497
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 4: Funny or dark.

498
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 5: Just had a little girl a year ago. But when

499
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 5: my wife was pregnant, I wanted to call my sister

500
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 5: and tell her first and let her know she was

501
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,679
Speaker 5: going to be an aunt. I was excited as it

502
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:18,479
Speaker 5: was ringing, my eyes watering. She was silent, unimpressed, and

503
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 5: ghosted me for a couple of days. She's like, fIF

504
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 5: isn't about my cat? He don't want to.

505
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 9: Know about it? So you hate cats still because you're

506
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:27,960
Speaker 9: having a baby.

507
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 5: You're having a baby, why not a cat?

508
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 4: Cat?

509
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,240
Speaker 5: You never said a word about it for weeks. I

510
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,880
Speaker 5: find out from my dad that she's going in for surgery.

511
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,719
Speaker 5: So I called her up, asking if she's okay, and

512
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 5: she tells me she's getting her tubes tied.

513
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 9: She's like, she's like, the reason I met such a

514
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,400
Speaker 9: flashback when you set a flash forward?

515
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 8: When you said that.

516
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 6: Did it immediately?

517
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,760
Speaker 4: She's like, thank you.

518
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 5: Honestly, the only reason I went silent is because I

519
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 5: totally forgot that I had an appointment. I had that

520
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 5: schedule and I duled well before told me I totally

521
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,119
Speaker 5: forgot about it. Thank you, ink you very much. I

522
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 5: guess I solidified her decision to not have kids. Jumped

523
00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 5: to a couple of months ago. We're having our second girl,

524
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 5: and I don't tell her. She finds out from family

525
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 5: and is upset I didn't tell her. Well, I mean,

526
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 5: you can't, she can't get her troops tied twice.

527
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 9: Yeah, she had to have a different reaction for me.

528
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 6: Yeah that one.

529
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, she gets her troops untied. She's like, you know what,

530
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:27,720
Speaker 5: I'm ready now. I bought a house in twenty twenty

531
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 5: two with my wife's grandparents' help. A three percent down

532
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 5: payment was the wedding gift. I just sold it earlier

533
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 5: this year because we hated the area. Now we're back

534
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,119
Speaker 5: to renting for a bit in a way better area.

535
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 5: So she thinks all of this house stuff was paid

536
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 5: for by our dad and doesn't believe we had help

537
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 5: from my wife's family. This is the odd straw that

538
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,280
Speaker 5: broke the camel's back from me. I'm over it. My

539
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 5: family is not political at all, but most of us

540
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 5: have this want for more common sense in the country.

541
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 5: So right now maybe a little more conservative than not.

542
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 5: She sends an article in our family group chat about

543
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 5: the president's fifty year mortgage idea and says, I know

544
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 5: you guys like Trump, but you can't tell me this

545
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,959
Speaker 5: is a good idea. So I then tell her it's

546
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 5: an awful idea, but it's definitely a way in for

547
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 5: people that have low approvals or how low income. That

548
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,679
Speaker 5: didn't have access to the housing market. People said the

549
00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 5: same with thirty year mortgage idea. Mortgages should be paid

550
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 5: off earlier than that as quickly as possible. Otherwise you'll

551
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 5: pay one million for a four hundred and fifty.

552
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 4: I can't do care.

553
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 5: Just tell me.

554
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,679
Speaker 4: I literally don't don't care.

555
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 7: I feel like he's about the pitch.

556
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 2: I is that what's about that happens, I'll need to

557
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 2: be honest.

558
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 4: I don't fully dress the snack.

559
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 8: I don't trust this man anymore.

560
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 5: Part of the problem is the one willingness to hustle

561
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 5: for what they want. Some people should rent for the

562
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,880
Speaker 5: rest of their lives, and there's nothing wrong with that.

563
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:52,880
Speaker 4: But if they want what other.

564
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 5: People have and they're not willing to work for it,

565
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 5: then they're going to pay interest.

566
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 9: Okay, so I only see a lot of why your

567
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 9: sisters struggling financially.

568
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 6: To pay rent and God doesn't like you.

569
00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 5: God, your sister is coming to you and saying, Wow,

570
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 5: I feel like I'm never going to be able to

571
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 5: own a house.

572
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: And you're telling her you're dude.

573
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 4: I don't like this guy at all.

574
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:22,360
Speaker 1: So basically, what you need to do is I tried.

575
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 5: To be like its stereotypical, and then you were were

576
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 5: it keeps going guys, Oh, the only people paying interest

577
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,200
Speaker 5: are the ones that want what they can't afford due

578
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 5: to their situation.

579
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 8: Okay, buy me a.

580
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 9: House, then, dude, dude, buy me a house.

581
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,360
Speaker 5: A house? Oh lord, basically describing my financial situation and

582
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 5: my lack of motivation without saying it's myself, not to mention,

583
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 5: just the fact of accepting reality and how hard it

584
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 5: is to buy a home.

585
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,679
Speaker 4: If you're not making it up, then she made it

586
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,560
Speaker 4: about her, didn't.

587
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 5: You're just making it about yourself, and I didn't expect

588
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 5: this response at all. That's really easy to say when

589
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 5: your dad owns a very successful business and you and

590
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,479
Speaker 5: your wife can make your own hours like I don't hustle,

591
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,280
Speaker 5: I work overtime as much as they'll allow every damn

592
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 5: week and applying for a second job. I don't share

593
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 5: my bills with a spouse and pay for everything myself,

594
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,360
Speaker 5: including school. My schooling wasn't paid for by my parents

595
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 5: like our stepsisters was. That's pretty ignorant to generalize such

596
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 5: a statement, and that actually hurts to hear from you.

597
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 4: And pop off.

598
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 10: Good really way that he tried to make that sound bad,

599
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 10: and it did sounded so good.

600
00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 8: I'm agreeing with racers. Racers.

601
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 9: Honestly, it sounds like he was saying, they can't say

602
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 9: dark jokes about cats. I think he was sugarcoating what

603
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:41,679
Speaker 9: he's actually saying.

604
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,440
Speaker 5: I think so, I think is the type of guy

605
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 5: who's like, we can't joke about it any.

606
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 4: World is school.

607
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 5: I think this is exactly the type of guy, and

608
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 5: he knows that are both like, like, we just like

609
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 5: to make jokes so sensitiously.

610
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: Sensitive.

611
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 5: Is such like a dog whistle for like, I feel

612
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:05,920
Speaker 5: like people often use that when they're like.

613
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 9: Oh, whoa, you're just care about able to people and

614
00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 9: they're upset rightfully, yeah, man.

615
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 5: And I feel like I wonder if the tubes tying

616
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 5: thing was even about him, you know, or if it

617
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:25,120
Speaker 5: was just a procedure that she was doing that. To

618
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 5: be clear, you can't just do.

619
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 4: That like so much.

620
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 9: I almost made a comment about, wow, how did you

621
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 9: find a doctor to do that so quickly?

622
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,879
Speaker 5: There's no way that she was able to do it

623
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 5: that quickly. She probably has been talking to a doctor

624
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 5: for at least a year, you know, or a couple

625
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 5: of months. Trying because the doctor will say like they're

626
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 5: gonna make.

627
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 4: Yeah.

628
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not a spur of the moment thing because

629
00:28:53,600 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 5: your doctors are really really like against usually too tying. Anyway,

630
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 5: there's more. This is coming from the girl that wasted

631
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 5: thirty K, never paid it, and destroyed my mother's credit

632
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 5: in twenty fifteen for a school she didn't even go to.

633
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 5: I never got a dime for schooling because of her

634
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 5: f up. But I'm not a head, so I just

635
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 5: never responded. She also chose an industry that doesn't really

636
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,720
Speaker 5: pay well if you don't have a bachelor's degree or above.

637
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 5: No response from anyone in the group either. Now I

638
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 5: finally get it, walk on eggshells and just shut my

639
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 5: mouth if I can't. Maybe I just shouldn't respond, just

640
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 5: like the other family didn't.

641
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 4: Great am I The ale.

642
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,560
Speaker 5: Comment once says wild argument I won't comment on, but

643
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 5: not the a hole. You can cut contact for whatever reason,

644
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 5: no matter how small. Yeah, oh, pis are allowed to

645
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 5: do whatever he wants. If he doesn't like her, get

646
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 5: along with her, then.

647
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 8: It probably would be best for both of you to

648
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 8: be honest.

649
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 5: I think you should do her the favor. You sound

650
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 5: like you don't like her, so why even keep contact?

651
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 5: Comma two says, I think it's totally reasonable to expect

652
00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 5: her not to correct your kids. Going no contact becau

653
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 5: because if this one thing seems extreme to me, are

654
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 5: there other issues in the relationship or context you can share.

655
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 5: I also suggest that if you don't want her to

656
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 5: correct your kids, it is also best not to pressure

657
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,160
Speaker 5: her kid to share, especially if it causes her kid

658
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 5: to stress.

659
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 4: I think that.

660
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 5: I think that commentary read the wrong story.

661
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 8: I've stressed that we somehow read the wrong story.

662
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 9: She definitely doesn't have a kid, though, unless she had

663
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 9: a kid before we.

664
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 5: Got maybe it is easier to do it if you

665
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 5: had one child, Riley, Is there any information about that

666
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,600
Speaker 5: that we can find? I just want to know if

667
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 5: there's like an update that was missed or maybe something

668
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 5: of the comments that they respond to about correcting kids.

669
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,880
Speaker 8: It's still very just on.

670
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:42,400
Speaker 9: I definitely think we haven't.

671
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 5: Oh rough, maybe there isn't everyone sucks situation here. We're

672
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 5: sure it could be, but we don't and we don't

673
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 5: have all of that information because it was deleted.

674
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,760
Speaker 9: So rat and that's the end of this story.

675
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 8: We're going to go to the next one.

676
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 4: Sam.

677
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to the stories, but here's

678
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: three of it's bad from our sponsors.

679
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 9: I caught my stepmother cheating on my father and now

680
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 9: he's suspecting something.

681
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,400
Speaker 2: Oh what do you do?

682
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 5: Hi?

683
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 2: Everyone?

684
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 9: This all started a few months ago when I twenty female,

685
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 9: went on a horse ride with my boyfriend twenty three male,

686
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 9: my aunt thirty female, and my stepmom fifty one female.

687
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 9: There were a few other people in our group, but

688
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 9: they're irrelevant here oo. It was a weekend ride, so

689
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,040
Speaker 9: we were planning to stay overnight. By the way, this

690
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 9: comes from odd snow seventy six to twenty three and

691
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,440
Speaker 9: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

692
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 9: the arsash Okay storytime subreddit.

693
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and.

694
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,440
Speaker 9: We're here to give good advice goofy, But we don't

695
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 9: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

696
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 9: so let us know what you would do in the comments.

697
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 9: Everything started out normal. We got their unloaded setup, camp

698
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 9: fed the horses, et cetera. It was about one to

699
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 9: two pm by the time everyone was settled in and

700
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 9: talking about going out on.

701
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 8: A ride like we do every year.

702
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 9: So we head out and everyone is drinking except me,

703
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 9: my boyfriend, and my aunt. This ride usually involves stopping

704
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 9: at nearby bars, so everyone was getting burritted tipsy. I

705
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 9: immediately noticed that my step mom was wasted. She was

706
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 9: doing stupid stuff like lifting.

707
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 6: Her shirt up, just very childish behavior.

708
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 9: At that point, the three of us knew we needed.

709
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 8: To eat and cut back on drinking.

710
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 9: We started heading back and by now it's around eight pm.

711
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 9: People are getting a fire, going eating and talking about

712
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 9: going back to the bar. Bareback on the horses, I

713
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,440
Speaker 9: noticed my step mom walk off to take a phone call.

714
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 9: I didn't think anything of it at first, assumed she

715
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 9: was calling my dad to check in.

716
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 8: A few minutes go by and she's still on the phone.

717
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 9: My aunt gives me that look, basically telling me to

718
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 9: go see who she's talking to. Before this moment, cheating

719
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 9: never even crossed my mind. So I walk over and

720
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,440
Speaker 9: she's giggling and laughing. I ask who she's talking to,

721
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:55,719
Speaker 9: and she just shoes me away. At that point, I'm

722
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 9: pissed because now something feels off. I go back and

723
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 9: explain situation to my aunt and boyfriend. The group decides

724
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 9: to go back to the bar on horseback again, and

725
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 9: she's still on the phone. When she finally comes back,

726
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 9: she asks, geez, where did everyone go. We tell her

727
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 9: they left thirty minutes ago. She's still obliterated and exists

728
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 9: she needs to go too. We tried talking her out

729
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 9: of it, but she's not listening. She throws me her stuff,

730
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 9: including her phone, to hold while she tries to climb

731
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 9: onto this massive horse. She's five to two, so watching

732
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 9: this was something. While she's struggling, I get the bright

733
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 9: idea to look at her phone. It was already open

734
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 9: on the call log. I see twenty plus calls to

735
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 9: a contact named Cowboy.

736
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 4: We had it partner.

737
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 9: Keep in mind this area has almost no service.

738
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 8: Then I checked the text.

739
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:58,800
Speaker 9: I see disgusting, vulgar messages exchanged between them. I was livid,

740
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 9: but tried to day smart and not react. Yet, she

741
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 9: finally manages to get on the horse, so I shut

742
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,000
Speaker 9: the phone off and put it down.

743
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 8: Then she just takes off. No phone, no.

744
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 9: Wallet, no light, nothing. We couldn't catch her. I sit

745
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 9: down and tell my aunt and boyfriend what I saw.

746
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,760
Speaker 9: I'm crying because I never wanted anyone to hurt my dad.

747
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 9: She's been the only mother figure.

748
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:21,880
Speaker 8: In my life.

749
00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 9: My biological mom passed away when I was twelve and

750
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 9: wasn't in my life after age two, so my stepmom

751
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 9: is all I've really known. She wasn't the best mom,

752
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 9: far from it, but she was something and I was

753
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,120
Speaker 9: grateful for that.

754
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:38,000
Speaker 8: And my love for my.

755
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 9: Dad is unmatched. For context, my parents' relationship has always

756
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 9: been very toxic.

757
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,239
Speaker 5: That makes sense, Like kind of racks for this, and

758
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:47,840
Speaker 5: you sound.

759
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 8: A better right, Eh.

760
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 9: They probably should have split up a long time ago.

761
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 9: My dad used to have a serious drinking problem, but

762
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,960
Speaker 9: he quit about six months ago due to health issues,

763
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,720
Speaker 9: and he's genuinely the best I've seen him in years now.

764
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 9: She's the one with the drinking problem and it's causing issues.

765
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:04,880
Speaker 4: Anyway.

766
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 9: The next day, we tried to come up with a

767
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,839
Speaker 9: plan to get back into her phone. We thought maybe

768
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 9: we could watch her enter her password and then later

769
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 9: when she passed out, take pictures of the messages for

770
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,399
Speaker 9: proof that the opportunity never came. A few days go by,

771
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 9: and I'm just sitting on this info with no idea

772
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 9: what to do.

773
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 8: My parents have been together.

774
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 6: Fifteen years, saying.

775
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 9: Again, she's the only mom figure I've had, but I

776
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 9: resent her now. I also didn't want to hurt my dad,

777
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 9: especially when he's finally doing better. After thinking long and hard,

778
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 9: I decided to text her. I said, Amy, while you

779
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 9: were wasted the other night, you were not being as

780
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 9: quiet on the phone as you thought. Then you fell

781
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 9: off your horse with your phone open to a disturbing

782
00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:52,879
Speaker 9: text thread with cowboy. I think you need to tell

783
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 9: dad what's going on before the weekend. He may not

784
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 9: be the perfect dad or boyfriend, but he is still

785
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 9: my father, and carrying this burden is not something I

786
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 9: should have to do or will do.

787
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 8: Honestly, that's a I think. I really like that.

788
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 9: She called me and said that if I told him,

789
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 9: he would punt her out, and she basically tried to

790
00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,319
Speaker 9: guilt trip me into staying quiet, like it would be

791
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 9: my fault if everything blew up.

792
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 5: Puff, Like, oh, if you tell him, I'll have consequences,

793
00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:24,240
Speaker 5: your fault that you cheated.

794
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 6: Oh girl, get it.

795
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

796
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 8: He'll hang out with cal Why.

797
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, maybe he can house you, yeha.

798
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 9: I put my foot down and told her that if

799
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 9: I found out she kept this up, I would tell

800
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,319
Speaker 9: him because what she's doing is not right. She tried

801
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,919
Speaker 9: to claim the guy was just a friend. I told

802
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,240
Speaker 9: her friends just don't talk like that. She basically admitted

803
00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,919
Speaker 9: that a few weeks go by, nothing major happens. Then

804
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,239
Speaker 9: this Sunday, my dad starts sending me screenshots of her

805
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:54,319
Speaker 9: calling the same guy.

806
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 5: I don't like. I think he wasn't like doing the

807
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 5: right thing for a while. But I don't like that

808
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 5: you said stop this, or I'll tell him, because I

809
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 5: think he should know he should have been I'm telling him,

810
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 5: or you're telling him, and that's it.

811
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 9: You have told this time to tell him or as

812
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 9: because it's not fair for your dad to.

813
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,640
Speaker 4: Know that not know this.

814
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 9: The dates were old, but still for context, me and

815
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 9: my dad have never been close when it comes to

816
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 9: their relationship. I've never been involved like this. But now

817
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 9: I'm old enough to understand what's happening, and maybe he

818
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 9: feels he can talk to me. He basically said that

819
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,680
Speaker 9: if she's cheating, he'll punt her out, and now I

820
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 9: don't know what to do. He sounds like your dad

821
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:38,640
Speaker 9: already knows now.

822
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, And at that point, honestly, I think you should

823
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 5: be like, hey, I you know, found something out wasn't

824
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 5: really sure how to tell you.

825
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 4: But you know I love you a lot.

826
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:51,040
Speaker 5: I'll be here, no, yeah, support you, etcetera.

827
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 9: I don't want to lose the only mother figure I've

828
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:57,239
Speaker 9: ever had, even though she's hurt me deeply. I don't

829
00:37:57,239 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 9: know if I'm being selfish thinking maybe they could work

830
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 9: it out, or if I'm just scared of the chaos

831
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 9: that would come with them splitting. They've been together fifteen

832
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 9: years and also run a business together. It would be heck.

833
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 9: I'm all over the place. This is weighing on me

834
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 9: so heavily. I don't want my dad to hate me

835
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 9: if I tell him the truth, and I feel so stuck.

836
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 8: Please help.

837
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 9: There's some commenters. Commenter one, take away what your stepmother

838
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 9: wants and ask yourself two questions. Can I carry this burden?

839
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 9: And would dad want to know? There's your answer. This

840
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 9: isn't about her. She's the one who hurt and betrayed

841
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 9: her family. This is about you and your father's feelings

842
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 9: and what you can live with.

843
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 8: It's the end of that story.

844
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 4: I completely agree.

845
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 9: Yeah, I mean dad knows now, but yeah, just being

846
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 9: there for him, Yeah, because I would be very stressed

847
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 9: that the stress from that could make it worse.

848
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 8: Yeah, hurt his sobriety.

849
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,480
Speaker 5: Too, absolutely, so hope Yeah, I think just be there

850
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, so he can do huh.

851
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 9: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

852
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 9: to the next one.

853
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,280
Speaker 5: My mother in law refuse to attend our wedding unless

854
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:10,440
Speaker 5: it met her standards.

855
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 2: Because it's actually her wedding.

856
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 5: I female twenty four and planning a wedding with my fiance,

857
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,120
Speaker 5: Mail twenty seven. We've been in a long distance relationship

858
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 5: for two years and are planning to get married next year.

859
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 5: My parents aren't supportive, but his mom isn't. It's not

860
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 5: because she dislikes me, but because she's afraid the wedding

861
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,600
Speaker 5: won't be grand enough and that she'll be embarrassed by

862
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 5: the way. This comes from oxy toxic And if you

863
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 5: want to smit your own stories, go to.

864
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 4: The r slash. Okay, storytime suppared it.

865
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to

866
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 5: give good advice.

867
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:42,760
Speaker 4: Goofy, But we don't have all the answers.

868
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 5: We only know what we do, So let us know

869
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 5: what you would do in the comments, and Opie says

870
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 5: she wants a big wedding and insists on inviting important

871
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,120
Speaker 5: people from our office, which isn't what my fiance and

872
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 5: I want, especially since we're still in junior positions. She

873
00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 5: told us to postpone the wedding until we're thirty and

874
00:39:59,080 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 5: can afford something more extravagant. If we still can't do

875
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 5: it by then, then she wants us to.

876
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 4: Get married abroad.

877
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: She wants you to get married to another woman, What's

878
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 2: up with that?

879
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 5: To avoid embarrassment on her part, my fiance has explained

880
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 5: our plans and expressed how much she wishes she could

881
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 5: be more understanding, But this has been a recurring pattern

882
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 5: in his family. His mother often acts as if the

883
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,840
Speaker 5: world revolves around her. She doesn't take no for an answer.

884
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 5: Now she's saying she won't come, and neither will her

885
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 5: side of the family if we move forward with our

886
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,719
Speaker 5: current plan. My fiance, my family, and I are all

887
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:34,120
Speaker 5: okay with moving forward, but deep down we both want

888
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 5: her there. We've done everything we could to involve her,

889
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 5: but she insists it has to be done her way.

890
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,319
Speaker 5: I find that hard to accept, especially since we're the

891
00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 5: ones paying for the wedding. We even suggested therapy but

892
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 5: she refused. Now, she says this whole situation is stressing

893
00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 5: her out and she's losing sleep over it. For context,

894
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 5: I live in Southeast Asia, where weddings are usually family centered,

895
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 5: but in our religion, the groom's parents are not required

896
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,880
Speaker 5: to be present. I don't want my to feel like

897
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 5: he has to choose between me and his family. I've

898
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 5: tried hard to earn his parents' approval, and they have

899
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 5: no issues with me as a person. It's just the

900
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,840
Speaker 5: wedding that doesn't need his mom's expectations. My fiance is

901
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 5: a wonderful man and wants to marry me with or

902
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,520
Speaker 5: without his mom's blessing. But I keep wondering, is this

903
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 5: a battle I should keep fighting or is it something

904
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 5: I need to let go of? And there are some comments,

905
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 5: but what do you think?

906
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,879
Speaker 2: I think it's kind of both. Like I think it's

907
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 2: a battle you need to let go of. Yeah, So

908
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 2: instead of it being something where you just go like, oh,

909
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 2: I'll just give her whatever she wants, you just go now,

910
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 2: I'm not going to give you whatever you want. And

911
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,880
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm just gonna deal with whatever response

912
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,279
Speaker 2: you decide to have to it.

913
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:45,840
Speaker 4: Yeah.

914
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,279
Speaker 5: And also just kind of realizing this is not my

915
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 5: mother and not really my responsibility. So I think it's

916
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 5: just dealing with it or letting it go in the

917
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 5: sense of just being like, it's actually not really my problem,

918
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 5: and my boyfriend or my fiance has made the decision

919
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 5: that he doesn't need her permission and doesn't really need

920
00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 5: her at the wedding one way or another, and you

921
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,680
Speaker 5: just kind of let him make those decisions for himself

922
00:42:08,719 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 5: and come to you, hopefully if he has any other problems.

923
00:42:12,440 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 2: Or you could sacrifice your mother in law to a volcano.

924
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, or do that comment one, have the wedding you

925
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:22,439
Speaker 5: want and let her come or not. She probably really

926
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 5: just wants you guys to wait to get married so

927
00:42:24,320 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 5: she doesn't have to lose her little boy or something stupid.

928
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,439
Speaker 5: Opie says. Some part of me feels the same way.

929
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 5: My fiance's parents have huge fights over small things, and

930
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,319
Speaker 5: his mom drags the kids into it. She expects her

931
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 5: sons to watch and even step in, which I think

932
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 5: is unfair. On top of that, she expects my fiance

933
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 5: to cover her travel and some household bills. On top

934
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 5: of that, she expects my fiance to cover her travel

935
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 5: and some household bills. He's basically been the backbone of

936
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,760
Speaker 5: the family, acting like a second parent to his younger brothers.

937
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,000
Speaker 5: Comma Tu says she created an excuse instead of just saying,

938
00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,800
Speaker 5: I think this is a bad idea. Knowing someone long distance.

939
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 5: It is very different from living together. I was thinking

940
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 5: that too, I think you should try living together before

941
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 5: you make a legal commitment. I was also thinking that,

942
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 5: but it wasn't the main part of the story, so

943
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 5: I didn't say anything. Yeah, they've been like long distance

944
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 5: for two years and they're about to get married.

945
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wait no, I.

946
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 4: Oh no, I was thinking that too.

947
00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 2: I agree with her.

948
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, that's not what the mom is saying.

949
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 5: This is a commenter saying that that's probably what she's

950
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 5: feeling and why she's against her.

951
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 2: Oh, why she's being difficult. That's what she's feeling, and

952
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: she's not. But we don't know that saying it gotcha.

953
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,359
Speaker 2: People do that. People will instead of saying the hard,

954
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 2: uncomfortable thing, they'll say a thing that's easier to say. Yeah,

955
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: it makes much less sense.

956
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 5: She should have just been honest about her concerns. Opie says,

957
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 5: I don't think distance was the real issue. I fiance

958
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 5: and I have been traveling to see each other three

959
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 5: to four times a year, oh for two to four

960
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 5: weeks each time, the problem seems deeper. Her mom has

961
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 5: a certain image she wants to maintain around her friends.

962
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:02,279
Speaker 5: One time, she even told my fiance she was embarrassed

963
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 5: because her husband doesn't have a high paying job like

964
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 5: her friend's husband. She said it wasn't.

965
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 4: Fair to her.

966
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 5: That felt pretty harsh, especially considering your husband could afford

967
00:44:10,560 --> 00:44:13,359
Speaker 5: to buy a two story house in cash. Commentary three

968
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 5: says you have to put a stop door interference, and

969
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 5: the best time is now. Your fiance might need extra

970
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 5: support or counseling because it's hard as heck to change

971
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,839
Speaker 5: the pattern of a lifetime, but your marriage will be

972
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 5: a misery if you set a pattern of living up

973
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 5: to her expectations. If she wants to tell people she

974
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 5: boycotted your wedding because it wasn't pass enough. Letter Opie says,

975
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 5: I agree. My fiance and I have done couple's therapy,

976
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 5: but I've been encouraging him to go on his own too.

977
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:44,720
Speaker 5: I've been in individual therapy regularly. One thing I've noticed

978
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:48,239
Speaker 5: is that he avoids conflict, especially with his mom. She

979
00:44:48,320 --> 00:44:51,759
Speaker 5: can be manipulative and gets hysterical when people don't do

980
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 5: what she wants. That's been his whole life, so I

981
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 5: know it'll take time for him to learn how to

982
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 5: set healthy boundaries common for he says, why does she

983
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 5: care about inviting higher ups from work? Does she work

984
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 5: there too? OHP says nope, she hasn't worked in over

985
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,440
Speaker 5: twenty five years. I think it's more about her social

986
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 5: life and how much she cares about her public image.

987
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 5: She's friends with higher ups and some celebs, so I

988
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 5: think she feels pressure to keep up appearances which she

989
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 5: couldn't afford.

990
00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:20,640
Speaker 2: It's literally grey gardens. This is the plot of Greg Garden.

991
00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 4: Don't know what that is.

992
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 2: It's a socialite who's broke, but they live in a

993
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 2: man's own a mansion. Interesting but it's in disrepair on

994
00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 2: the inside.

995
00:45:32,080 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 4: Kind of a talented mister Ripley situation.

996
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:35,279
Speaker 2: In a way.

997
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, Op says she reached out to me personally with

998
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 5: different excuses, saying, my fiance's family is not on board

999
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 5: with it. It wouldn't bless our marriage. She wanted my

1000
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 5: fiance to wait until he's more financially mature and stable.

1001
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 5: Before building a family. So it does seem that she's

1002
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 5: roughly coming from the idea of wanting you guys.

1003
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: To be older.

1004
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,240
Speaker 5: I told her, we're both adults and this is our decision,

1005
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,120
Speaker 5: regardless of what she has to say. And now her

1006
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 5: mother in law is calling my fiance and becoming hysterical

1007
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,440
Speaker 5: on the phone, and there is an update, But do

1008
00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:06,839
Speaker 5: you have any thoughts before we jump in?

1009
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,399
Speaker 2: I hate hysterics.

1010
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 4: Stop it.

1011
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:14,840
Speaker 2: Bring back the sanatorium. We throw you in there, hysteria.

1012
00:46:15,320 --> 00:46:18,600
Speaker 2: You're being mother. If you call me hysterical one more time,

1013
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:20,600
Speaker 2: I will have you removed from society.

1014
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 5: I'll have you literally diagnosed with hysteria. And one of

1015
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 5: the things that they did to solve that was keep

1016
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 5: you in bed, and you weren't allowed to get out

1017
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 5: of bed for anything. After a few days, she reached

1018
00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 5: out to me personally. She said she didn't approve of

1019
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:40,239
Speaker 5: the wedding because she felt my fiance wasn't financially stable enough. Yet,

1020
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:44,320
Speaker 5: for context, we're both financially independent and covering all wedding

1021
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 5: costs ourselves. I replied politely, saying I'm sorry she felt

1022
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 5: that way, but assured her I'm not a financial burden.

1023
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:52,840
Speaker 5: To her son, since I want to have my career

1024
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 5: in all. I also said we're both pursuing our goals

1025
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 5: and there's no reason to wait to get married. Apparently

1026
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 5: that set her off really badly. She called my fiance

1027
00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:05,960
Speaker 5: for three hours, hysterically yelling about how disrespectful it was

1028
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 5: for me to reply with a long message. When he

1029
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 5: got home, she continued yelling and even called me names.

1030
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 5: She made his brother sit there and watch everything. No

1031
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 5: one defended him. This went on for several days. Every

1032
00:47:19,360 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 5: time he came home, she'd start yelling again for hours.

1033
00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 5: It reached a point where my fiance packed up all

1034
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 5: his things to move out, but before he could leave,

1035
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 5: his mom found out, trashed all his belongings, literally ripped

1036
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 5: out his luggage into and called him horrible names.

1037
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 4: It didn't stop there.

1038
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,560
Speaker 5: She physically attacked him and made the entire family watch

1039
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 5: what is going on in this family?

1040
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,040
Speaker 2: Nobody's gonna just like put an Oklahoma drill on her

1041
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 2: real quick the heck? I mean, like you don't even

1042
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,040
Speaker 2: have to do that, Just like get around her, like

1043
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 2: both hands behind the head, snake up, restrain, don't just

1044
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 2: stand there and let someone attack somebody.

1045
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 4: Any final thoughts.

1046
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:59,879
Speaker 2: Wrestle your mom brothers rather or wrestle your mother in law.

1047
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 2: I just can't imagine dealing with that. Yeah, it's just

1048
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:07,120
Speaker 2: like I come home and you scream for hours, you

1049
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 2: yell and you yell.

1050
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,640
Speaker 5: I'm just wondering about their financials. This is kind of

1051
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 5: a side note from your like terrible mother in law.

1052
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 5: But you know, you say that you're financially independent, and

1053
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,960
Speaker 5: maybe his part of getting financially independent was that he

1054
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 5: was living with his parents. But you know, I'm wondering

1055
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 5: Kenny now afford to live alone, you know, if you're

1056
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:28,640
Speaker 5: paying for a wedding, but he wasn't able to move

1057
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:29,240
Speaker 5: out before.

1058
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just wondering about this financials.

1059
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 8: I'll make sure you got everything in order.

1060
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 5: I still can't process how fast everything escalated. It happens

1061
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 5: so suddenly and so brutally that I took a twenty

1062
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:40,879
Speaker 5: four hour flight the next day and went straight home,

1063
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 5: completely shaken. I know he needed me that time, and

1064
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 5: not being able to do anything. If I'm far would

1065
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:48,879
Speaker 5: have unlive me. Now he hasn't gone home since, and

1066
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 5: we've decided to elope next year. I still can't believe

1067
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 5: this all started because she wanted a prestigious wedding. It's

1068
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:58,839
Speaker 5: heartbreaking to see how far it went, but at least

1069
00:48:58,840 --> 00:48:59,800
Speaker 5: we're standing together.

1070
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 4: Please watch us luck and peace as we move forward.

1071
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 2: And I wish you bad luck and the problem. No,

1072
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,240
Speaker 2: I don't, I'm just kidding.

1073
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:09,160
Speaker 8: I wish you well.

1074
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 2: Like what is the reaction. What is the response to

1075
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 2: mother in law?

1076
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 9: Oh?

1077
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,399
Speaker 2: Is that was that the end? Yeah?

1078
00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:15,879
Speaker 4: That was the end?

1079
00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're gonna get

1080
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:19,839
Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

1081
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors.

1082
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:24,919
Speaker 2: My mother in law excluded me from a trip while

1083
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 2: I'm seriously sick.

1084
00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 4: I am ill, I can't go.

1085
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,240
Speaker 2: I mean that you should be excluded. Maybe let's find

1086
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 2: out trigger.

1087
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,360
Speaker 4: Warning for mentions of child.

1088
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 2: I thirty female have recently been really sick and in

1089
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,160
Speaker 2: and out of the hospital getting infusion treatments. My husband

1090
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 2: has been my rock through it all. By the way,

1091
00:49:44,640 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 2: this comes from user clearing the garage And if you

1092
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1093
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,280
Speaker 2: side Showkay, storytime, sobered it. I'm Dakota, I'm.

1094
00:49:51,120 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 6: Sophia's and we're here to give good advice.

1095
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:56,320
Speaker 2: Googly, but we don't have all the answers all the time.

1096
00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 2: We all know everything, duh, nobody does, so just let

1097
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 2: us know what you would do in the comments. Last year,

1098
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 2: we move States because my in laws asked us to.

1099
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 2: They have a micro family and wants us to stay close.

1100
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 2: Since our move, they've never once come to visit us,

1101
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 2: except after we bought our house. They visited for an

1102
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 2: hour and left to beat traffic. We've driven to them

1103
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,919
Speaker 2: over fifteen times, an hour each way, and they still

1104
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 2: expect we go to them, even though the drive now

1105
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 2: wipes me out and risks my health. I don't have

1106
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:34,120
Speaker 2: any family or close friends here besides them, and despite

1107
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:36,839
Speaker 2: my husband asking several times for help, they always make

1108
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 2: excuses as to why they can't visit, even though they're

1109
00:50:39,560 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 2: both retired. What's going on now is that my mother

1110
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 2: in law and husband share a birthday, and she recently

1111
00:50:46,040 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 2: called him saying it would be fun if the whole

1112
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,560
Speaker 2: family went on a week long trip to celebrate and

1113
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 2: couple it with Thanksgiving. When my husband said he'd need

1114
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 2: to check with me since I have appointments and you know,

1115
00:50:59,719 --> 00:51:02,799
Speaker 2: his job, she told him it's best that I stay

1116
00:51:02,840 --> 00:51:06,200
Speaker 2: home and rest while everyone else went. He immediately told her, no,

1117
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:09,200
Speaker 2: he wasn't leaving me when I'm this sick, especially during

1118
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:11,640
Speaker 2: the holiday. He asked if we could postpone until I

1119
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:15,280
Speaker 2: completed these rounds of treatment and just sick to something local.

1120
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 2: That's when mother in law dropped that she'd already booked

1121
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 2: a resort three hours away and spent thousands, and that

1122
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 2: if we didn't come, we'd be ruining Thanksgiving and her birthday.

1123
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,319
Speaker 2: When I asked why she'd book it without confirming with us,

1124
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,760
Speaker 2: she said it was the only week his brother was free.

1125
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 2: That's when it really hit me. She never intended to

1126
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 2: include me and possibly my husband. Her only concern was

1127
00:51:38,200 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 2: his brother's availability, whom she sees every day. It felt

1128
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 2: like she either purposely booked the trip to guilt my

1129
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:48,160
Speaker 2: husband into going without me, or as a way to

1130
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 2: exclude us. I was over it, exhausted and just done

1131
00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 2: with the lack of effort and care for her. I

1132
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,680
Speaker 2: asked my husband if I could talk to her, and

1133
00:51:55,800 --> 00:52:00,840
Speaker 2: in the calmest, most sarcastic tone, I said, please don't

1134
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:06,040
Speaker 2: cancel your vacation. I really truly hope you have such

1135
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 2: an amazing time on your birthday. So much so that

1136
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 2: you forget we're even there because we won't be.

1137
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:18,040
Speaker 5: Bye, dang, I hope you don't even like think we're

1138
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 5: there because we aren't there.

1139
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 2: It's just your birthday only it's only your birthday, so

1140
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 2: enjoy it because you don't even need to even think

1141
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 2: about us. Well, we won't even be there, we won't

1142
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 2: be thinking about you. Then I hung up the phone

1143
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,920
Speaker 2: and I said, cauchow. My husband took the phone and

1144
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,879
Speaker 2: put it in his pocket. He told me he had

1145
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:36,879
Speaker 2: no notes, and we carried on with our day.

1146
00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 8: Nice.

1147
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,920
Speaker 2: Now mother in law, father in law, and brother in

1148
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 2: law are calling non stop, leaving messages saying I was

1149
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 2: rude and disrespectful. So am I the a hole for

1150
00:52:47,120 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 2: hanging up on my mother in law after she booked

1151
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 2: a family holiday that excluded me? And there are comments

1152
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,680
Speaker 2: and no, I don't think I think that. I don't

1153
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 2: think you to a hole?

1154
00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 5: Did you know probably what was gonna happen when you

1155
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 5: said it? Sure to make you the like it was

1156
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:04,360
Speaker 5: gonna upset her regardless, So like you just have to

1157
00:53:04,440 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 5: kind of know that. But as long as you know

1158
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:08,880
Speaker 5: going in that she's gonna get mad and say all

1159
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 5: this stuff about Yeah, then we're good.

1160
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:15,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just super annoying if I'm your partner and

1161
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 2: that's my mom and it's like, so you spent all

1162
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:23,040
Speaker 2: this money to plan a birthday. Well you knew my

1163
00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 2: wife is ill, and you want me to leave town

1164
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 2: and leave her alone to deal with this? What if

1165
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 2: something happens and she needs my help? You so you

1166
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 2: just want me to leave town without her so that

1167
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 2: she can rest. Yeah, we could have done anything else, anything.

1168
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,839
Speaker 2: You did it on purpose. You did comment number one

1169
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: time to put the house on the market and move

1170
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 2: to green of pastures. Comment two says, not the a hole.

1171
00:53:45,640 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 2: I have a feeling this mother in law is very

1172
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 2: self centered and is willing to upset other people, but

1173
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: gets super angry if she's on the other end and

1174
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 2: never apologizes for anything. But that's just a wild guess hope,

1175
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 2: he says. She is the kind of person that volunteers

1176
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,680
Speaker 2: you for things without asking and then gets mad when

1177
00:54:02,719 --> 00:54:05,439
Speaker 2: you say no because she already promised someone else you'd

1178
00:54:05,440 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 2: do it. For instance, I am a former chef and

1179
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 2: can cook just about anything. Well, she would text out

1180
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:13,320
Speaker 2: of the blue and say, hey, you're making beef Wellington

1181
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:16,320
Speaker 2: and a side of your choice for my friends on Saturday,

1182
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 2: ten people will be there. I would just give my

1183
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: phone to my husband and say you have to call

1184
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 2: your mom again because she thinks I'm making her a

1185
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 2: beef Wellington for a party. Comment through says, not the

1186
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,319
Speaker 2: a hole, and I think you should talk to your

1187
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 2: husband about moving out of the area, possibly closer to

1188
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 2: your own family, if that would be desirable. I'm especially

1189
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,400
Speaker 2: alarmed at the way they've tried to convince your husband

1190
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 2: to go on holiday without you. Maybe they secretly want

1191
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 2: to drive a wedge between you and your spouse so

1192
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,520
Speaker 2: they can get you out of the family, you know,

1193
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 2: the whole get them alone so they can start subtly

1194
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 2: trashing you angle. Alternatively, your husband's brother is the golden

1195
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,800
Speaker 2: child and your in laws don't care if their plans

1196
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 2: don't work for you and your husband and there is

1197
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 2: an update, do we have anything to add?

1198
00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 5: And then moving further away is probably the best option

1199
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 5: and that will fix most of your issues.

1200
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 2: What a weird plan for them to be like, move

1201
00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 2: closer to us, to your micro family.

1202
00:55:10,680 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 4: We're so healthy for you.

1203
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 2: You put us in a smoothie and we give you

1204
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:19,279
Speaker 2: vitamin A microgreens joke. Yeah, I know, I got that.

1205
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:21,040
Speaker 2: That was just for the people who might not have

1206
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:25,360
Speaker 2: I got it. We know you went to Harvard. We

1207
00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 2: beat it on your sweater. Oh, of course you.

1208
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 4: Jet lag is catching up to me.

1209
00:55:32,239 --> 00:55:35,800
Speaker 2: Update. I posted this question after telling a coworker the story,

1210
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:38,960
Speaker 2: and she was adamant that I needed to apologize. She said,

1211
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 2: hanging up on anyone, especially my mother in law, was unspeakable,

1212
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: no matter the circumstance. Her reaction made me wonder if

1213
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 2: I'm the a hole. But after reading your messages, I

1214
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,960
Speaker 2: was flooded with relief. My husband and I have still

1215
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 2: been receiving voicemails from mother in law and brother in law.

1216
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,360
Speaker 2: They've escalated to the point that we have now blocked

1217
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 2: them on all platforms of social media, email, and our

1218
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,319
Speaker 2: cell phones. Last message my husband received was that they

1219
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,879
Speaker 2: knew something was wrong with me because I have any

1220
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,960
Speaker 2: family for context, They're aware I was treated badly as

1221
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:12,759
Speaker 2: a child. I left home at eighteen and went no contact.

1222
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 2: Our house had no locks on the bedroom doors or bathroom,

1223
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 2: so there was nowhere to hide from the The windows

1224
00:56:19,760 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 2: were nailed shut, and if I didn't return home right

1225
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 2: after school, which was timed. Then my dad would do

1226
00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:30,719
Speaker 2: things people weren't allowed over, not that I wanted them

1227
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:33,120
Speaker 2: to come over, and my friends used to joke I

1228
00:56:33,120 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 2: lived in Fort Knox because of the security gate and

1229
00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 2: system that the entire neighborhood could see. The only good

1230
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 2: thing that came from my suffering was perfect grades. It

1231
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:44,000
Speaker 2: was expected that i'd be an absolutely perfect student and

1232
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 2: always be respectful, presentable, and professional. Anything less than straight

1233
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 2: a's meant being beaten until I had no tears left

1234
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 2: to cry. When I threatened to call CPS once after

1235
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 2: a pretty bad incident, my dad said something along the

1236
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:59,320
Speaker 2: lines of, if you think this is bad, it's worse

1237
00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 2: out there. You're a girl and will be used like

1238
00:57:02,080 --> 00:57:05,280
Speaker 2: a plaything. Geez, your dad sucks.

1239
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, no, wonder you don't talk to these people anymore.

1240
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 5: They're terrible people.

1241
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,839
Speaker 2: So I kept my head down, worked hard, and did

1242
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,280
Speaker 2: what I was told and acted like I fell in line,

1243
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: and then got the heck out of there. I never

1244
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 2: looked back. His family is well aware of my story,

1245
00:57:19,040 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 2: so it was quite shocking to hear his mom bring

1246
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 2: this up now for those asking why we moved. When asked,

1247
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:27,880
Speaker 2: my husband's family presented as very close. Both his parents

1248
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 2: were only children, and his grandparents are no longer living.

1249
00:57:31,040 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: They are very tight knit and still take annual family

1250
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 2: vacations and spend holidays together. Brother in law moved a

1251
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 2: few years ago, and traditions carried on last year, but

1252
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 2: brother in law got engaged and announced that he and

1253
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:45,080
Speaker 2: his future wife would be trying to have children soon

1254
00:57:45,160 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 2: after that wedding. You were all ecstatic. Always a weird

1255
00:57:48,440 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 2: thing to announce.

1256
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:53,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I agree. It's like, hey, we're having

1257
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:54,640
Speaker 4: spicy sleep now.

1258
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 5: I want everyone I know age you protected spicy sleep now.

1259
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just wanted to give you the visual that's happening.

1260
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 2: Congratulate us.

1261
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 5: He's all rod dogging over here, like what, I don't

1262
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 5: want to know that.

1263
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:12,120
Speaker 2: We were all ecstatic. They haven't had a baby in

1264
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 2: the family for thirty years since my husband was born.

1265
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 2: Brother in law's future in laws live a few blocks

1266
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 2: from him and are going to help out whenever they

1267
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 2: have the baby, and my in laws threw in their

1268
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:25,360
Speaker 2: hat to also help out. That's how the move came about.

1269
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 2: We figured if we could find jobs equal to what

1270
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 2: we have now, then why not. It was actually welcomed

1271
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 2: since at that point, I wasn't living twenty miles away

1272
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 2: from my parents and was a little anxious about running

1273
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,600
Speaker 2: into them. My husband and I also talked about the

1274
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:43,880
Speaker 2: possibility of moving, but it seems almost impossible with work, insurance,

1275
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,080
Speaker 2: selling a house, and medical treatments. I was on the

1276
00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 2: waiting list for two months with the infusion clinic and

1277
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 2: we live in one of the largest metropolitan cities. I

1278
00:58:52,280 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 2: can't imagine the setback of trying to get initial appointments

1279
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: with specialists again and insurance approval. It would negatively affect

1280
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,320
Speaker 2: my health and set me back, not worse in my condition.

1281
00:59:01,560 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 2: Then there's insurance and finding a new job. Neither of

1282
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 2: our workplaces have other offices, so we'd have to get

1283
00:59:07,680 --> 00:59:11,200
Speaker 2: new roles. And I've even heard competition has been tough

1284
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,760
Speaker 2: with layoffs. Coming in as a candidate that needs accommodations

1285
00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 2: for serious illness would be a tough sell. I'd practically

1286
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 2: miss one or two days a week. I do think, yeah,

1287
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 2: you might need to stay here, yeah instead of move,

1288
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 2: but but start putting your.

1289
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 5: Foot down, get your husband to put his foot down,

1290
00:59:29,800 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 5: put your feet down.

1291
00:59:31,160 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just weird, it's a weird vibe. You move

1292
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 2: one hour away and they're like, no, we can't have

1293
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 2: a come over to you. Micro family is in the

1294
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 2: backyard somewhere.

1295
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, we just can't leave them.

1296
00:59:42,400 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 2: We can't. We got to find them. We're lucky that

1297
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 2: my place of work has been amazing and understanding. They

1298
00:59:47,080 --> 00:59:49,240
Speaker 2: cover one hundred percent of my medical bills, which is

1299
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 2: unheard of. Congratulations. So for now we're going to stay

1300
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 2: and we'll consider a move when I'm better. And at

1301
00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 2: least we know our in laws won't pay us a visit,

1302
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,080
Speaker 2: so there's some grace in that. At this point, my

1303
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,440
Speaker 2: husband and I acknowledge and accept that priorities have shifted

1304
01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 2: for his family. We will act accordingly and create our

1305
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:12,680
Speaker 2: own new holiday traditions any ideas. Also, thank you to

1306
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 2: everyone for your kind words. And you're right, my husband

1307
01:00:16,200 --> 01:00:16,919
Speaker 2: is pretty hot.

1308
01:00:17,320 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 5: Heick. Yeah, Amen to that, sister, And that knows the

1309
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:21,840
Speaker 5: end ofnet story.