WEBVTT - Ep. 1 - Baby limbo, braids and Brown Ambition 0:00:06.160 --> 0:00:08.160 Hey everyone, I'm Mandy. 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:11.639 Hey, Hey hey, It's Tiphany and this is Brown Ambition. 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:17.040 I've been a reporter in New York City for five years. 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:19.720 Right now, I'm a writer at Yahoo Finance. I write 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.959 about money, business, career, basically anything to do with the 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:23.480 world and. 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:24.560 How it impacts your wallet. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.440 And I am Tiffany but much better known as the 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:32.159 Budget Lista and I'm a financial educator, best selling author, speaker, teacher, 0:00:32.400 --> 0:00:36.320 all things personal finance. Basically, on this podcast, we're going 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:39.960 to be talking about career, relationships, life and living in 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:40.920 this brown skin. 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:43.800 We work, we start businesses, we help one another. We 0:00:43.840 --> 0:00:46.560 do everything we can to make a better life for ourselves. 0:00:46.600 --> 0:00:49.400 And that's what Brown Ambition is all about. So here 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:51.720 are some topics you might hear us talk about on 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:52.360 the podcast. 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.760 How to deal with office bullies and microaggressions. 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.360 Coping with being the only one in the office. 0:00:59.040 --> 0:01:02.200 Yes, how to get money for a new business even 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:05.319 when you have no idea what you're doing. Should you 0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:10.160 care if people think you have resting bitch base guilty? 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:13.320 What to do when by earns less. 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:14.680 Than you guilty guilty? 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:18.320 Whether or not we should use the word bay in 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:19.480 everyday conversation. 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.440 I have a lot of thoughts about this. Well, thank 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:23.759 you so much for joining us. 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:26.360 Guys. We're going to start off the podcast by talking 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:30.280 about some buzzworthy headlines that are cropping up in our lives, 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:31.640 and we want to talk. 0:01:31.480 --> 0:01:45.160 More about. 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:41.560 This week's buzzworthy. 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.679 Yes, I'm excited about this one. 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.440 I think, I know I'm excited to have a lot 0:01:46.440 --> 0:01:49.200 of opinions about this, and so does the rest of America. Yes, 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:53.920 so many opinions on how a young woman today decides 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:57.960 the right time to step into motherhood. Yes, baby limbo, 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:01.640 baby limbo this you know, I kind of came up 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:04.280 with this terminology for a story I did on young 0:02:04.280 --> 0:02:08.359 people millennials eighteen up to their mid thirties who are 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:09.680 stuck between. 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:13.040 Do I have this college debt or do. 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:14.720 You know, pay that off and focus on my career 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.360 or do I also have a baby or you know, 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:21.400 what should come first? And honestly, it's such a difficult 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:24.160 question because mother nature doesn't wait for you to pay 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:26.440 off your student loved debt, and I think that women 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.080 have to recognize that fact. And it's maybe not so 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:31.519 comfortable because you know, obviously, we want to talk about 0:02:31.560 --> 0:02:34.720 how much control we should have over our own bodies, 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:36.920 which is absolutely true. You should, you know, be your 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.680 own body's boss. But at the end of the day, 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:40.639 like that clock is ticking. 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:41.040 Yeah, it's true. 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:44.160 So I'm thirty five and I turned thirty six in October, 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:47.280 which is not far away, and I mean, I've been 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:49.560 thinking about it a lot because I am in a 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.520 serious relationship, me and my boyfriend Superman. 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:54.840 He already has a daughter. She's eight. She's great. 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.640 Day a man with a daughter. That's some grown up dating. 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.280 Yes, but I love it honestly, because one, I'm at 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:02.919 an age now and because I work for myself, I 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:06.119 realize I don't necessarily want a huge family. I came 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:07.920 from a family there was five girls. My mom and 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.160 dad raised all five of us, and I don't know 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:12.000 that I want a big family, but I at least 0:03:12.000 --> 0:03:14.440 think I'm pretty sure I want at least one kid 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:16.160 of my own. I mean, according to my mom, I 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:19.000 really need to get on it. And I kind of 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:21.320 feel like that too. My best friend just had a baby, 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.400 and my sister just had a baby, and so their 0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:27.120 babies are all under a year old, and so I've 0:03:27.160 --> 0:03:31.959 been like, yeah, a little bit, but sometimes you're over 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.760 more so that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be thirty six, 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:36.520 so when are you gonna make a choice. A friend 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.960 of mine had she made her choice at thirty six 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.160 and had her baby at thirty seven, and she said, 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:42.800 I wish I would have started sooner. 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.600 That's what I hear. I'm afraid, yeah, sooner would be. 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.520 I'm twenty eight right now, and I feel like, am 0:03:48.520 --> 0:03:50.760 I going to regret not having a baby now? 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:52.920 I don't know, but it seems like I just don't 0:03:52.920 --> 0:03:53.680 want to do it. 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.440 The her reason for saying she wished she would have 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.760 started sooner is that she wished She really wants to 0:03:57.760 --> 0:04:00.440 have a second, and she doesn't know if she can't. Yeah, 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.520 she can, So that's why I don't know that I 0:04:02.600 --> 0:04:04.200 want to have a second. I mean, I would want 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.200 to have two kids, but between his one and my one, 0:04:06.200 --> 0:04:07.920 I'm like, well then it goes one plus one mixed 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:11.840 two for three. Yes, she's the bonus kid and so 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.280 and plus I do so much work and I really 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:17.440 want to and I know this might sound a little selfish, 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:20.880 but I want to maintain my individual personality and maintaince 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:22.960 is okay, you know, as long as you know. I mean, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.159 I think selfish would be more so having ten kids 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.320 and still wanting to fly around the country and speak 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:30.680 and teach, and you don't have enough time for your children. 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.400 So I don't want to spread myself super thin, right 0:04:33.480 --> 0:04:33.920 m hm. 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:36.039 Well, hopefully you just have one kid to start. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.039 I know, Well, my boyfriend's are twins, so he is, 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:44.120 oh g I'm like, yo, he told me. I already 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:45.240 likes so I'm aiming for this. 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:47.800 Does that gene come from the mail line or that 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.240 I don't which is more likely to go somebody? 0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:55.760 Somebody email us at Brown Ambition Podcasts, yes and tell 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:58.880 us how exactly are twins formulated? Does that come from 0:04:58.920 --> 0:04:59.960 the male line the female line? 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.080 Is that? Yeah? 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:03.839 Is it hereditary or is that like some sort of 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:04.520 random I. 0:05:04.440 --> 0:05:07.280 Do think it skips a generation. So you might be good. Okay, 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.160 maybe you're If you have a daughter, then she's got 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:09.559 to worry. 0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:11.560 But you're good, So so you say, And so I 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:13.480 come back to the next podcast and I'm like, so, y'all, 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:14.560 I'm having twins. 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.680 Thanks Manny, I can talk well, you know, I'm twenty 0:05:18.760 --> 0:05:23.239 eight and I don't necessarily feel pressure to have a baby. Okay, 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.520 but I feel I guess that's not true. I don't 0:05:27.520 --> 0:05:30.600 feel pressure for myself, Okay, I don't. I look at 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:33.159 puppies and I feel my my ovaries twins, like I 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:35.440 really want a puppy very badly. Babies not so much, 0:05:35.480 --> 0:05:38.400 but they're cute. What I do feel is intense pressure 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:42.000 from you know, I'm dating. I've been dating my partner 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:45.880 boyfriend for through over three years now, which is my 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:49.479 longest relationship, and you know, we live together and we're 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.080 kind of we're kind of playing it as we you 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:56.080 know by ear. His family, however, is not waiting, especially 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.920 his mother. He comes from a very traditional, close knit 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:03.359 community and family. I guess it's not giving away too 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:05.680 much if I say. He's Dominican, so I'm in a 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:10.440 mixed race relationship. And his mother is very Catholic and 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:13.440 very old school, and she is like the mother of mothers. 0:06:13.640 --> 0:06:16.400 She lives to nurture her son's two sons. They are 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:21.880 schooled rotten. But you know, I feel her looking at 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:23.960 me and wondering. Not just feel, but I hear it 0:06:23.960 --> 0:06:28.360 because she tells me, Mandy, Amanda, why why no baby yet? 0:06:28.600 --> 0:06:31.320 Why? Her English isn't very good? But she can. 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:33.400 She gets her point. 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:36.640 Where's the baby yet? Where it's been three years? 0:06:37.320 --> 0:06:39.480 I asked her, you know, uh, don't she want us 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:41.880 to get married first and get married and do all 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.039 that and you know, the right order of events. 0:06:44.279 --> 0:06:46.360 And she's like, no, just have a baby. Wow? 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:47.880 Would this be her first grandchild? 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.080 This will be her first grandchild? There's so much pressure. 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.279 I know, what how about you come from a family 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.320 of five girls and no one has kids. My mother 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.040 every day on the phone, so my my Nigerian name 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:58.719 is Adochia and my mother would call me and say 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:03.480 it's so she's still not mad. It still no baby, 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:07.040 And I'm like, good old no second oldest. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:08.839 So they're just like so somebody. 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.960 The oldest is married and she's working on it, and 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:14.560 I'm the second. The third is not married, the fourth 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:16.840 is married and she just had a baby. So we're 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:21.280 like whoo. And but just watching her. She's literally like 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:24.840 the milk machine. So she's only allowed to take ten 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:27.600 paces away from the baby before the milk machine has 0:07:27.640 --> 0:07:29.200 to return and dispense milk. 0:07:29.560 --> 0:07:32.480 You mean, it's not glamorous and she's not like Blake 0:07:32.520 --> 0:07:36.160 Lively taking selfies of herself, you know, breastfeeding and a 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:37.640 field of sunflowers. 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.000 That is a straight beacuse. Honestly, She's like, I'm so tired. 0:07:41.040 --> 0:07:44.480 Her feet are swollen, and she's just like, how can 0:07:44.520 --> 0:07:45.880 I My mom is like, my mom is a nurse 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:47.320 and her my mom was telling her you need to 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:47.920 put your feet up. 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:49.960 She's like, oh, when when I'm being the milk machine. 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:52.840 I work for a company, and obviously Y'allhoo has very 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:58.360 generous maternity and paternity benefit programs, which isn't the norm nationwide. 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:01.840 It's actually America's one of the only developing nations that 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:06.600 doesn't have a federally mandated paid maternity or paternity lead law. 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:08.800 But I'm lucky enough to work for Yahoo and we 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:12.320 have sixteen weeks off. That's awesome, and dads get eight 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:14.680 weeks off, and at least I know I have that yeah, 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:16.360 sort of if I'm still working, you're gonna have a baby, 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:18.880 have that kind of cushion. But can you talk about like, 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:22.080 I'm curious as an entrepreneur's self, you know, you own 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:24.480 your own business, how are you going to plan your leave? 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:27.920 So I've been like, honestly like kind of like planning 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:30.320 now because I'm going to be thirty six, like I said, 0:08:30.360 --> 0:08:32.440 and I mentioned, and my boyfriend and I have been 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.040 talking about marriage and kids. So right now, the way 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:37.320 my business is is that I start off at zero 0:08:37.440 --> 0:08:40.080 basically like every month, meaning like my income, I never 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.320 know what's going to come in. People would just email 0:08:42.400 --> 0:08:44.360 me and call me and say we want you to 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.160 speak or teach or whatever. And so as a month 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:48.959 rolls on, I make money. I cannot do that and 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:52.080 the kid because one, you know, I'm gonna have to 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.079 be home. I do a lot of speaking around the country, 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.360 you know, So that's a worry for me. So I thought, well, 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.280 how am I going to make this work. So one 0:08:58.280 --> 0:09:00.600 of the things I'm implementing is I'm looking for other 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:01.760 ways to make passive income. 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:04.360 So I have two books that do fairly well. 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:06.520 I'm coming out with a children's book hopefully that will 0:09:06.520 --> 0:09:09.679 boost up my income. In two I'm launching this academy 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.720 called the Live Richer Academy, where it's going to be 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.560 like a monthly fee and you can take classes on 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:16.920 investing and business and all this kind of stuff. And 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:19.680 so the Live Richer Academy will definitely help to put 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.920 regular income into my stream. Without me having to leave 0:09:22.920 --> 0:09:24.360 the house because I'm not going to be able to, 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.080 at least not for a while. So I'd love to 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:29.240 hear what the BA audience has to say. Tweet us 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:33.079 at the BA Podcast. You can find us on Facebook 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:38.520 at Brown Ambition and you can email us at Brownambitionpodcast 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:39.880 at gmail dot com. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:41.719 Let us know. Are you and Baby Limbo? What is 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:44.840 your story? We'd love to hear it, maybe share it 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:46.040 next time we're on. 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.559 So next up, this is one of my favorite segments. 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.480 It is is brown break, brown break? 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:05.080 Some music? 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:11.679 Yes, like. 0:10:10.720 --> 0:10:13.640 Mandy's gonna really how about you share? Like what what 0:10:13.760 --> 0:10:14.360 is a brown bak? 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:14.680 Many? 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.640 A brown break is just something in your life that 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:21.439 you are tired of having to deal with or explain 0:10:21.760 --> 0:10:22.840 as a person of color. 0:10:23.760 --> 0:10:28.360 And this week, my brown break is white feminism. 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:30.439 This is a very uncomfortable issue and I we like 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:33.200 to keep things light and fun as much as we can, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:35.959 but white feminism is something that I'm starting to learn 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:39.440 a little bit more about and just to give some 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:43.480 background on what brought me to this necessary break in 0:10:43.559 --> 0:10:46.520 my life. So two of my favorite authors, for very 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:50.120 different reasons. These authors couldn't be more different. Erica Jong, 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:55.319 amazing author, very popular in the seventies and popular even now. 0:10:55.360 --> 0:10:58.160 She's a new book coming out. She was seen as 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.320 sort of like one of the first female writer to 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.960 really embrace women's sexuality, writing about a woman who's having 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:08.679 sex and saying curse words and sleeping around with no apology. 0:11:09.120 --> 0:11:11.199 And she did a talk recently at the Decatur Book 0:11:11.240 --> 0:11:15.240 Festival Shout Out to Atlanta, my hometown, with Rox Sane Gay, 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.000 another one of my favorite authors. She's the author of 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:21.600 Bad Feminist. And someone asks Erica Jong how she feels 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:27.280 about white feminism and the concept of white women generally 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.520 speaking about feminists in a way that can sometimes exclude 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.320 women of color. And this is not a new issue. 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:37.000 It's been around since the seventies, when the first or 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.040 not even the seventies, but you know, when women were 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.239 trying to get the right to vote, cut to the seventies, 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:43.680 when women were fighting for equal pay and things like that, 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:48.880 and generally white women would speak of feminism as if 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:50.880 it only applied from their point of view, and we 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:54.360 weren't hearing so much from black and brown women. So 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.120 this is something that I care a lot about, and 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.079 I have to say as someone who really respects Erica John, 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:01.679 Erica John from the bottom of my heart, and I 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:02.400 love her writing. 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:03.400 The way that she. 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:06.960 Handled it wasn't I think the best way she could 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:09.880 have handled things. She got really defensive, and I can 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:12.920 understand why you'd be defensive, because if you identify as 0:12:12.920 --> 0:12:15.480 a feminist. And I give her so much respect. She 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.800 has done so much for the cause for feminism in 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:23.199 America and supported so many women, but she immediately was 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.400 discounting the whole white feminism thing. Oh no, of course not. 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.760 You know, Oh, We've done so much for all women 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.839 of color, all women of color. You know, everything I've 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.920 done has been through this lens of you know, all women, 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:36.600 all women. And it just seemed like a second iteration 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:39.680 of the whole all lives matter thing. And you know, 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.080 we kind of saw this play out with the whole 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:45.400 Nicki Minaj and Taylor Swift beef on Twitter, where Nikki's 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:47.520 trying to make a statement about how black women are 0:12:47.559 --> 0:12:50.000 treated in the music industry, and then Taylor comes in 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:51.240 and talks about, why are you trying. 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:51.679 To make it about you? 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.040 All women in music industry are marginalized and you know, 0:12:55.080 --> 0:12:59.000 sexualized in different ways and disenfranchised. But no, Taylor, No, 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.920 and women of color are way more likely to be 0:13:03.000 --> 0:13:06.320 marginalized in the music industry. And not just there. Let's 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.440 talk about in terms of like the wage gap. That's 0:13:09.480 --> 0:13:12.600 a huge cornerstone of the feminist movement today is the 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.720 fact that women are still earning less than eight eighty 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.880 cents on the dollar for a man. What gets lost 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:21.400 when you stop the conversation there is the fact that 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.160 Latina and black women are much more likely to make 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:27.480 less than that. And yeah, I'm just over I'm over 0:13:27.679 --> 0:13:31.400 people stopping the conversation at here's what it looks like 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:33.719 for all women, because all women don't have the same 0:13:33.720 --> 0:13:34.520 stait exactly. 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:37.280 So you need a brown break for the white So 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:42.600 my brown break is this whole debate of perm versus 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:43.880 natural apage. 0:13:45.360 --> 0:13:49.680 So I am sitting with my fed up like my 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:52.480 half perm, half relaxed awkward transition face. 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.080 So many's half and half right, And here I am 0:13:55.120 --> 0:13:57.920 fully natural. I have locks for the last like seven years. 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:00.640 But honestly, I've been natural since I want to say, 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:04.319 two thousand and one. I don't math good, so don't 0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:05.040 know how many years I does. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:06.360 Fifteen years. 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:08.520 Yeah, I was honestly natural. For the majority of my 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:11.760 life I had a perm. Yeah, I was like totally 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.400 like the natural girl before it became cool when I 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.240 went natural. At first I had honestly here's where I 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.160 went natural. So all throughout high school I had I 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:22.880 had a natural hair. I had braids, the Brandy braids 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.680 for those of you who can remember Brandy Norwood. M h, 0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:32.600 I want to be down. So I had the braids 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.560 because I played sports. I played tennis, and so it 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.520 didn't make sense for me to have a PERM and 0:14:38.040 --> 0:14:42.040 have permed hair and played sports. And so I was 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:44.520 natural mostly all my life. And then when I went 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.680 away to college, I was like, oh, I want a PERM. 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:48.800 I felt like perm was like the next level of 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:51.960 like womanhood for black women, and so I got a 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:55.480 PERM and two years in my hair started to fall out, 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:58.400 like I had alopecia. So alopecia is really weird. 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.200 Putting a very toxic coming your hair wasn't good. 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:04.240 For it, I know, And so my stylist was like, 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.600 you know what, Tiffany, your texture of hair, It's just 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.560 like I have really really tightly coiled hair and it 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.880 just was not blending well with the perm. So literally 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:15.960 the side started good go first, and then the back 0:15:16.040 --> 0:15:18.160 and the front, and then finally she was like, you're 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:20.400 just gonna have to let the perm go, and so 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.040 I cut off all of the perm and I was 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:25.120 left with this spiky fro, and I realized it was 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:27.120 too short to get braided, so I was kind of 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:31.240 forced to walk around with spike fro and I had so. 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:33.280 It started to grow out and I kind of liked 0:15:33.280 --> 0:15:34.240 the fro. It was cute. 0:15:34.240 --> 0:15:37.200 It was a cute little afro mini afro. But women 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.600 and older black women started stopping me in the street 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.000 and literally saying, why would. 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:42.560 You do that to yourself? 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:46.600 My my wasn't my mother and my father either, one 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:48.840 of them. One of them said to me, so you 0:15:48.880 --> 0:15:52.760 don't plan to, Maddie. I'll translate, so you never want 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:55.040 to get married. I was like, excuse me, So you 0:15:55.040 --> 0:15:56.720 don't want to, Maddie. That's what this hair is seen, 0:15:56.880 --> 0:15:57.360 that's what this. 0:15:57.320 --> 0:15:59.360 Is what my so you're putting out there, Yes, so 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:00.000 this is what I was. 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:04.080 So I couldn't believe how. I don't know, just like 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:07.760 how politicized my hair was. I literally just stopped getting 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:10.560 a perm because I was going bald. I wasn't trying 0:16:10.560 --> 0:16:13.680 to make a statement. I wasn't trying to I don't know, 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:17.160 trying to like prove my blackness. It was, hey, I'd 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:19.120 like not to be bald. Let me go back to 0:16:19.120 --> 0:16:19.680 the where. 0:16:19.440 --> 0:16:19.920 My hair was. 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:21.400 Yeah, very practical. 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.880 But what I found was with time, as time went on, 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.640 I found that people were politicizing it. For me. 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:28.360 I would go to like Harlem or New York and 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:29.320 people would. 0:16:29.080 --> 0:16:31.520 Say, hey, sister, like they would treat me differently than 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:33.120 my friends who I was walking with who had a 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:36.120 perm You know, I wasn't When men even would approach me, 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:38.200 it wasn't the same like hey, shorty, what up? You know? 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:39.920 It was like Hi, I just want to tell you 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.560 that you're so beautiful. And it was different, and I 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:45.880 thought that was so yeah, so strange, And but now 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:47.640 what's happened. At first it was like I was so 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.960 happy to see that people were embracing their natural hair, 0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.400 and I was like, yeah, yeah, yay. But now what's happened. 0:16:53.440 --> 0:16:56.600 It's like there's two camps. There's the perm camp and 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.160 there's their natural camp. And sometimes I find that each 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:02.160 camp is like looking down on each other, right, And 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.199 I'm like, to me, it's just hair. It's just a 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:07.119 choice like a dress or pants or shoes, and you 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:08.760 should be able to make your choice. And you shouldn't 0:17:08.760 --> 0:17:11.320 be shamed for having a perm. You shouldn't be shamed 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.520 for being natural. When to me, it should just be 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:16.800 an expression of like just how you want to look today, yeah, 0:17:16.840 --> 0:17:18.879 you know, or even if you want to make it, 0:17:18.920 --> 0:17:20.679 if you want to make it pull, that's fine, But 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:32.000 that's just not me. And we're here and we're back 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.400 and we are going to give you some tips brand 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:37.399 ambition tips for today. 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:39.280 So what are your tips for today? Tips? 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.800 So my main tip for today really is for those 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:45.199 of you who are starting a business. If this is 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:47.760 a very first kind of stage of your business, you 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:49.800 have to make a decision of whether or not you 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:50.880 want to. 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:53.760 Be a business or look like a business. Right, so 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:54.760 this is a business. 0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:57.320 There's a fourteen year old girl on your block who 0:17:57.480 --> 0:18:00.000 babysits and she gets paid to She has a business, 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:02.879 you know, very informal, but a business nonetheless, because a 0:18:02.920 --> 0:18:05.480 business is just when you have a product or service 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:06.800 that somebody. 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:07.880 Wants to buy and they do. 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.119 Now, if you look like a business, looks all fancy, 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.240 you have your business cards and pens and everything, but 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:14.240 haven't made a sale. 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:16.760 The fourteen year old has a business. You do not. 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:19.840 So here's how I can help you get to a 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.600