Speaker 1: So let's talk about dating, one of my favorite new topics.
Speaker 1: Not because I love doing it but it's okay, but
Speaker 1: because I think that it's something so many people are
Speaker 1: faced with and I'm watching so many people do it wrong,
Speaker 1: and I'm sharing my mistakes and I am kind of
Speaker 1: going through the process. I have to reiterate something really
Speaker 1: important that you'll never know what I'm talking about because
Speaker 1: I protect people's privacy and if I like someone, I
Speaker 1: certainly won't be talking about them. So when I do
Speaker 1: my data boards or talk about cautionary tales, I'm extremely
Speaker 1: intentional about it. I'm very careful. I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: But all of the stories are true.
Speaker 2: Okay. So here's what I think when.
Speaker 1: You're dating overall or online, because I hesitate because I
Speaker 1: was set up with someone from a human and that's
Speaker 1: when this TikTok I did that when on Instagram went
Speaker 1: viral because this person I ended up in their divorce
Speaker 1: agreement because I saw some pink flags and realized that
Speaker 1: their ex wife is supporting them, and it was like whoa.
Speaker 1: And people freaked out about that because of like what
Speaker 1: I thought were pink flags, and I got calls from
Speaker 1: warriors and business people being like your genius, you're such
Speaker 1: an investigator, like that was so smart, and so that's interesting,
Speaker 1: which tells me that you have to be smart about dating.
Speaker 1: And if you've been screwed over as I have, and
Speaker 1: if you have massive trust issues, as I do, then
Speaker 1: you can be spatially disoriented, meaning you don't it's zero
Speaker 1: dark thirty. You don't know where you are, and you
Speaker 1: don't know if you're upside down, someone screws you over,
Speaker 1: or you think that someone's something and there's something else.
Speaker 1: You don't know what's going on. You don't know what
Speaker 1: to trust. You feel like you're in a house of mirrors.
Speaker 1: You don't know whether to go left right, if anything
Speaker 1: you're seeing is what it is, And in many cases
Speaker 1: it's I'm not saying with everybody you have to be
Speaker 1: a crazy person detective, but if you smell anything weird
Speaker 1: or somebody seems like a player, it's too good to
Speaker 1: be true. Whether they're too nice to you or they're
Speaker 1: pursuing you too hard, or something happens, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to like figure out a way to cover your ass.
Speaker 1: And you just never know. People are crazy. Someone could
Speaker 1: say you're a stalker or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is like the fucking wild West and the Internet.
Speaker 1: If so many people get stolen from on the internet,
Speaker 1: like people you see things on dateline where people give
Speaker 1: away their entire inheritance, then you know, fucked up shit
Speaker 1: can happen on the Internet. It's just so accessible and
Speaker 1: so free and bots and AI and this is nuts.
Speaker 2: I've heard crazy stories.
Speaker 1: Okay, one person on their profile under their picture, the
Speaker 1: first question says burper or farder.
Speaker 2: I can't believe I just said that outlet. I want
Speaker 2: to vomit.
Speaker 1: Like what, that's how you're representing yourself, you fucking whack job.
Speaker 1: So people are nuts, okay, but this is what you
Speaker 1: have to do. You have to do a multi step
Speaker 1: verification process. It's not a two step verification process. A
Speaker 1: multi step verification process. What does that mean? Okay? Who
Speaker 1: are they? What's their name? Is it really their name?
Speaker 1: Then you find out the company that they work for.
Speaker 1: Then you go look it up and like is that real?
Speaker 1: Then you find out like where's their address? Do they
Speaker 1: really live where they say they live? Try to find
Speaker 1: some like public records. Then you need somebody in common
Speaker 1: to tell you this person's okay, sorry, like somebody needs
Speaker 1: to tell you. I've called my friends, but I've been crazy. Like,
Speaker 1: so the person telling me about the other person, they
Speaker 1: knew I didn't act like I cared because I knew
Speaker 1: that I was gonna call that other person in vet,
Speaker 1: this original person. So I called the other person and
Speaker 1: they said to me, this person is not it for
Speaker 1: you energetically, financially like, it's just not it like and
Speaker 1: I was like, thank you, because you know what, it
Speaker 1: saved me an outfit. It saved me a night. It
Speaker 1: saved me access to me. Now that's a little different
Speaker 1: because I'm a public person, but for anybody, don't give
Speaker 1: access to you to everybody, Like you're not just running
Speaker 1: out going on a date. You gotta like somebody. And
Speaker 1: you got to FaceTime than two. And this person had
Speaker 1: gone through a multi step verification until me reaching out
Speaker 1: to that person who said it wasn't a fit because
Speaker 1: this person was fairly successful, not successful enough, i've found out,
Speaker 1: but good looking enough, age appropriate, geographically desirable. The job
Speaker 1: sounds good. Everyone can make their jobs sound good. And
Speaker 1: you need a deeper piece of information. You need a
Speaker 1: multi step verification process before you go out with someone.
Speaker 1: You need to protect yourself. Talking about x's on a
Speaker 1: date is a red flag. I can think of one
Speaker 1: high profile person. I went out with, a successful person
Speaker 1: who runs a big brand and owns a brand, a
Speaker 1: man that I was set up with, and he kind
Speaker 1: of subtly trashed his X right away. Now, I've had
Speaker 1: a pretty challenging divorce. I do not get on my
Speaker 1: first date and start trashing. I might say I've been
Speaker 1: through a challenging situation.
Speaker 2: It's hard.
Speaker 1: It's a difficult situation that lasted a decade. But I
Speaker 1: would never you just don't do that. I've had two
Speaker 1: men do that, one man that liked me for years.
Speaker 1: It always turned me off because that will be you
Speaker 1: one day. You don't want to be with someone that
Speaker 1: you couldn't imagine being divorced from. Now that's a terrible
Speaker 1: thing to imagine, but a reality. Just like if you
Speaker 1: get into business with anyone, you don't want to get
Speaker 1: into business with anyone. That would be a disaster if
Speaker 1: it ended. I got into business with someone in the
Speaker 1: apparel business and another person said they've never ended a
Speaker 1: business without being in a lawsuit. And I was already
Speaker 1: sort of in the deal, and I always was paranoid
Speaker 1: about that. I didn't like the way that it felt.
Speaker 1: And towards the end, when I had some leverage over
Speaker 1: them and they were not treating my staff well and
Speaker 1: they needed me to do something for them, I had
Speaker 1: some financial leverage and I basically said, if you want
Speaker 1: me to do this X thing, you're going to have
Speaker 1: to pay me each time before I do it. So
Speaker 1: there was no way that they could get what they
Speaker 1: wanted without paying me because I had heard that piece
Speaker 1: of information and if I had no leverage, this person
Speaker 1: would have totally fucked me over. And I had another
Speaker 1: person in the entertainment industry that had a bad reputation
Speaker 1: and I was in a business deal with them, and
Speaker 1: I had to do a very similar thing, be like
Speaker 1: proactive about it ahead of time to get myself out
Speaker 1: of this deal. Like you gotta be on guard in
Speaker 1: your relationships like you are with business. And that's the difference,
Speaker 1: because you wouldn't get into a business deal. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's just write on a cocktail napkin and do a
Speaker 1: business deal. So every you gotta not trust people, period.
Speaker 1: You don't know these people. You go on a date
Speaker 1: with someone they're a stranger. You don't know them, So
Speaker 1: why would you go like trusting someone what they said?
Speaker 1: Do you trust people in business what they say? Hi,
Speaker 1: we're gonna deliver this diamond tomorrow, but just guess what.
Speaker 1: It's definitely coming hand us your money. Why is that
Speaker 1: different than like, Hi, I want to get into a
Speaker 1: relationship and I want to have kids, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to treat you like gold. Six months later, you know
Speaker 1: they're verbally abusing you. It sounds cynical, it's just realistic.
Speaker 1: I'm hearing too many fucked up stories, and I'm experiencing
Speaker 1: too many fun stories myself of people being nuts.
Speaker 2: Here's another weird thing. Dating apps. Now.
Speaker 1: I find many of them to be a goddamn disaster.
Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. It's a bargain bin. You have
Speaker 1: to go and fish through and have patience, and it
Speaker 1: could depress you and it can make you feel gross,
Speaker 1: to make you feel sick and make you feel full,
Speaker 1: and you really can't do it if you're not up
Speaker 1: for it. And many of them are trash bins. And
Speaker 1: so you could say I could find something in there, Well,
Speaker 1: you could go find somebody at Giant Stadium. Also, if
Speaker 1: you want to fish through and walk through that whole stadium,
Speaker 1: but I certainly wouldn't want to, so you got to
Speaker 1: be careful where you are. Another thing is they're motivated
Speaker 1: by money. They're all motivated by money. This is something
Speaker 1: zero people talk about. Okay, they're motivated by money. Dating
Speaker 1: apps are motivated by money, and they want to keep
Speaker 1: you on their app. And if they say that you've
Speaker 1: come off, do you ever notice that you go back
Speaker 1: in and then there's a better batch. So it's like
Speaker 1: you fucking got to date your dating app. You're playing
Speaker 1: games with them too. And they are also like arimez
Speaker 1: back rooms on some dating apps, like they'll be like, oh.
Speaker 2: These are the very special guys.
Speaker 1: They're giving you the like bargain basement shit every day,
Speaker 1: but if you pay extra, you get the special guys.
Speaker 1: Now that's your choice if you want to do that.
Speaker 1: It is like the slots, but I have experience that
Speaker 1: some good coins would come out, but you gotta be
Speaker 1: willing to do the work.
Speaker 2: It's like fishing.
Speaker 1: You got to sit out there all day and there
Speaker 1: might be something that jumps on your fishing rode, and
Speaker 1: there might not. So it's not for the it's not
Speaker 1: for the weary, it's not for the faint of heart.
Speaker 1: You have to know how to navigate these apps. So
Speaker 1: once you can deal with the fishing of it and
Speaker 1: the slots of it, and there is a skill to it,
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty fucking decent at it. I've done okay there,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've found decent people at the level. But
Speaker 1: then that's when you have to do your multi step
Speaker 1: verification process. Once you find someone seems good, it's got it,
Speaker 1: you got to get serious about like, okay. So also
Speaker 1: because I'm a known person, but maybe you're a hot person,
Speaker 1: maybe you're a rich person, maybe you're whatever they want.
Speaker 1: But because I'm a known person, people come in and
Speaker 1: they're curious, looky lose, they want to look at the
Speaker 1: house that they're not really planning on buying, or you know,
Speaker 1: they're not.
Speaker 2: The appropriate buyer.
Speaker 1: So yesterday someone reached out to me to date me,
Speaker 1: and like was asking you a loud do you really
Speaker 1: want do you want to get into a relationship and
Speaker 1: what do you like and where do you like And
Speaker 1: let's go on this kind of a date and go
Speaker 1: on this romantic walk and eat this ice cream and
Speaker 1: this whole shit, and I had noticed that they had
Speaker 1: said they wanted kids, and so then I said, do
Speaker 1: you want kids?
Speaker 2: And they're like yeah, And I'm like, get the fuck
Speaker 2: out of here. When you talk.
Speaker 1: I'm fifty three years old. What do you think I'm doing.
Speaker 1: I'm fucking halle Berry. Get out of here. Don't fucking
Speaker 1: waste my time. Now, I've like, I feel like I've
Speaker 1: had sex with this person just because I've talked to them.
Speaker 1: They make me sick because I've like given any part
Speaker 1: of me, Like you have my phone number, you've interacted
Speaker 1: with me, I've said more than four sentences. That's like currency,
Speaker 1: get the fuck out of here. So like, do the vetting,
Speaker 1: because what if I went out with the guy. The
Speaker 1: guy's hot, the guy's sexy, the guy seems interesting, and
Speaker 1: the guy really lays on the charm. Okay, then I'm
Speaker 1: into him and the I'm like, oh, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll convince me he doesn't want to have kids.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll put him around some brats and then change
Speaker 1: his mind.
Speaker 2: Whatever. Don't get in the wrong car, don't do it.
Speaker 2: Do not do it. Also, hot take.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you'll find that someone's using you find out if
Speaker 1: you want to use him back flip the script. I
Speaker 1: know of someone that wanted to use me for media.
Speaker 1: They wanted to use me for the cloud. Okay, what
Speaker 1: if there's something that they have Once I realized that,
Speaker 1: oh okay, I.
Speaker 2: Know the game.
Speaker 1: Now, I know our room we're in. We're in the
Speaker 1: users game. So let me think about if there's something
Speaker 1: you have that I want. Maybe for somebody at sex,
Speaker 1: maybe for somebody else, it's presence. Maybe it's going out
Speaker 1: and going on a date and not being like a
Speaker 1: spinster home alone in your pajamas. Maybe it's whatever. Whatever
Speaker 1: it is, you figured it out. And if you don't
Speaker 1: have a reason and they're using you, ice out, just
Speaker 1: blow them out. I've also had someone very interested in
Speaker 1: me that I didn't let them know that I wasn't
Speaker 1: interested in them. I don't need to let them know anything.
Speaker 1: You don't know them anything. I just blocked them on
Speaker 1: one of the like social media platforms, but they came
Speaker 1: in and found me in another platform. I didn't connect
Speaker 1: the dots. I didn't tell them like what they did.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like we're watching people, We're observing people
Speaker 1: in their habitat. Let's set this fucking guy's gonna do literally,
Speaker 1: I believe that he was using me. I saw some
Speaker 1: red flags about deleting texts, so I just blocked him
Speaker 1: over there and I deleted the entire chat because it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, you're gonna delete four texts, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: delete the whole chat. But he can access me other
Speaker 1: other places and tried to and I just did a
Speaker 1: smiley face. So he now probably is like wait. I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's like, you want to you want to fuck with me?
Speaker 1: I will jedi mind fuck you, bro. You know what
Speaker 1: you want to go, we can do it. It's like
Speaker 1: Kristin Cavalary said, it best match that person's energy.
Speaker 2: You want to go, we'll go.
Speaker 1: So don't think you've lost the ball just because it
Speaker 1: feels like you've lost the ball and someone got one
Speaker 1: over and you just shift shift it, work it out.
Speaker 1: You are going to take back the power. You're gonna
Speaker 1: be the one in charge now, not gonna be these
Speaker 1: babies that are running around like men decide how we're
Speaker 1: gonna act.
Speaker 2: Like I see this all the time.
Speaker 1: I was in Central Pey and I saw these girls,
Speaker 1: these hot, beautiful girls with these sleazy, cheesy like hairy
Speaker 1: chest like rope chain, gold, like flashy cashy watches, treating
Speaker 1: them like shit, and the guys are not attractive, and
Speaker 1: it's like the girls are just excited for someone to
Speaker 1: buy them drinks. And it's like taking scraps. We don't
Speaker 1: need scrubs, and we don't need scraps. Go home, read
Speaker 1: a fucking book, get a drink, go make a meal,
Speaker 1: do something, but respect yourself.
Speaker 2: This is not gonna be the era of We're gonna
Speaker 2: be treated like shit. No,