WEBVTT - Small Dick Energy 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.800 Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:08.119 queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:12.360 If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more 0:00:12.480 --> 0:00:15.960 offense your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:18.880 discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:20.760 Put JR. 0:00:20.840 --> 0:00:25.320 Pussy, put your put your pussy up, Put your pussy, 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:26.880 put put your pussy. 0:00:27.360 --> 0:00:30.400 Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and. 0:00:30.360 --> 0:00:33.480 I'm christtison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:35.560 of queer sex, cruising, and relationships. 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.240 We talk to queer folks of all kinds. 0:00:37.280 --> 0:00:41.040 We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:43.640 and provide practical advice that you can use at home. 0:00:44.360 --> 0:00:49.240 Put Joy, put Jos, put Joe, put put your put Put. 0:00:49.200 --> 0:00:52.680 You all right, Chris, We're we got a theme today. 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:55.360 I think you're gonna know. Yeah, yeah, let's just pull 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:57.840 it all out on the table. Let's pull it out today. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:00:59.160 We're talking about dix. 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.800 We were talking about and dick sizes specifically, specifically, it 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:04.800 does seem like We're obsessed with dicks. 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:06.720 Humanity's been obsess with dicks for a really long time. 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:10.520 Accurate, there are like ancient deities with gargantuan fallacies. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.680 They are a lovely thing to be obsessed with. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:16.039 But I do wonder if perhaps that obsession has gone 0:01:16.040 --> 0:01:16.480 a little far. 0:01:16.760 --> 0:01:18.639 Sure, I can see that you're. 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:20.680 Like a someone of size. I don't think it's not 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:26.600 what I said, not me outing my experience. 0:01:26.720 --> 0:01:26.920 Yep. 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:29.560 I mean I will say, like, as a person who 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:31.520 works in nightlife, and I am a go go dancer 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:34.520 and the parties I work out are really sexy for 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:35.160 the most part. 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:37.120 I'm not one of these dancers. 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:40.360 That's like doing a try mix before I start working, right, 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:43.520 And I do work with some folks who are really 0:01:43.600 --> 0:01:47.560 well endowed, and you know, sometimes it gives me a 0:01:47.640 --> 0:01:50.760 little insecurity about like about my penis size. 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:52.800 Absolutely, you should see some of the dicks I work with. 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:55.520 I was like, I saw your cockage. I feel like 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:57.080 I could take a nap in it, you know what 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.680 I mean? Like, damn, that is why I that is accurate. 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:03.040 You are a woman of a certain size. Yeah yeah, yeah, 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:05.400 as am I yeah yeah. 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:08.120 Yeah, but yeah, I mean it is an interesting thing 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:09.760 where I do have to like check in with myself 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:13.320 about it because I do watch the attention that they 0:02:13.440 --> 0:02:16.480 get and the money that they get specifically, and I'm 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.480 always like, Ooh, is this something that I should be 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:21.440 doing to be making more money or to get more attention. 0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.200 I mean, I know you're not on a box throwing 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:25.440 that ass in a circle. 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:25.639 But what about you. 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:27.040 I don't know where I am on the weekends. 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.040 You know, friends, I know exactly what you are, exactly right. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:32.600 I'm not a go good answer, so I'm like calling 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:35.040 us something the poetry, I don't know. I've never really 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:39.000 like had hang ups about penisizes, Like I don't really 0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:42.560 care about other people's penisizes. I'm not freaked out about 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:44.720 my own. Like I will say, I did have one 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.360 interaction because I am short. I'm like a very short person. 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:50.320 I hoped it was somebody at a hotel when I 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:51.799 was like on a work trip years and years and 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:53.919 years ago. I remember I got into his hotel and 0:02:54.000 --> 0:02:55.400 I was like kind of hard already because we've been 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:56.959 like cooking up. And I took up my pants and 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.440 started laughing, and I go, what's happening here? Yeah, I'm 0:03:00.440 --> 0:03:01.960 a comedian, but I haven't tried out any material. 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:02.400 What's going on? 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:03.720 And maybe that was the material? 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:05.560 Yeah? No, and he just looks down. He goes, it 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.400 looks like it's photoshopped onto your body, and I was like, 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:07.840 what do you mean. 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:10.480 He's like, it's just you're just so short that like 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:13.600 it looks like it's And I was like, all right, great, cool, 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:15.480 like thank you, and then I don't. 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:18.040 Actually that weirded me out? Who's that kind of weird? 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:19.880 I was like, we could have saved it for afterwards. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.000 It could have been like fun in bedroobe. Like I 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:23.320 was like, we're scrutinizing. 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.280 I also feel like I am that person that probably 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:28.320 would have said that because I'm awkward as fuck. 0:03:29.960 --> 0:03:33.919 Okay, so we're talking about dicks today and whether you 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:37.720 are a straight, gay, or queer man, society is constantly 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:41.040 sending us messages that big dicks are the most desirable 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:42.000 body part someone could have. 0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:44.240 That leads to many of us growing up feeling bad 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.800 about our penisides, regardless of whether we're hung or not. 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:49.640 But I'm curious what kind of damage we do to 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.720 ourselves when our world revolves around our dicks. Are there 0:03:52.760 --> 0:03:55.040 ways we can embrace our bodies for what they are 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.840 and our penis sizes whatever they are, while learning to 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:00.280 actually feel good about ours else. 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:02.840 Our guest today has done it, and now he's helping 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.520 others feel good about their dicks as well. 0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:05.040 Yes. 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:08.440 Philip Minor is an activist and educator who spent years 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:11.320 in public health dealing with issues like HIV prevention and prep. 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:14.400 He's best known in New York City for throwing Natural Pursuits, 0:04:14.640 --> 0:04:18.080 a queer nudist gathering without a sexual component, and Pheromone, 0:04:18.160 --> 0:04:21.000 a very sexy nightlife party for guys who love men 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.799 with and trigger warning to the deodorant girlies here naturally 0:04:25.000 --> 0:04:25.920 scented armpits. 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:29.200 His latest endeavor furthers his efforts to help queer people 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.760 feel good about their bodies. Phil's new Packaging Acceptance Program 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.360 is a sixth week online course to retrain our queer 0:04:35.440 --> 0:04:38.479 brains to embrace and celebrate those with small dick energy. 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:40.839 And today he's going to share some of his wisdom 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:45.160 with us and you. He's welcome to Ciphy's Cruising Confessions. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:46.599 Philip Minor felper excited to be. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.200 Here, so talk to us about your package Acceptance program. 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:53.120 Yeah, this came directly out of my Natural Pursuits project, 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:57.920 which is the newdist It's essentially an online magazine, and 0:04:58.040 --> 0:05:00.240 I would get a lot of dms people like wish 0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:01.960 i could just go to a New dis event, but 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:05.000 I've got a lot of insecurities about my body. And 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.000 I drilled down on that and she was like, Okay, 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:10.640 what are you worried about? And people would be cagy, 0:05:10.800 --> 0:05:12.800 But luckily I have an audience who loves to fill 0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:17.240 out a survey, so I asked and the two things 0:05:17.279 --> 0:05:20.240 that came up were just not comfortable with the way 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:22.520 or with their bodies as the age, and the other 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.080 thing was just various things about their package, which I 0:05:25.120 --> 0:05:26.600 can probably actually just say, penis. 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:27.360 Here, you could take me. 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:27.800 Yeah. 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.880 Absolutely, So people were saying this and I was like, okay, 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.400 let me find a resource to send to people, and 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.599 there just wasn't anything. And what I found is there's 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:40.760 a lot of books on Amazon that are like living 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:43.280 with a micro penis, and you go and it's a 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:47.120 gag book that's just a notebook that's completely blank. Oh 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:51.200 my god. And I looked and there's some online resources, 0:05:51.680 --> 0:05:54.359 but those pages get a little in sully, a little 0:05:54.600 --> 0:05:57.840 quick because it's mostly straight men. So I was like, 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.919 oh fine, I'll do it myself. So months and months 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.040 of research of like, okay, how do different people tackle 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:09.000 this problem? And by problem I mean getting over your insecurities, 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.200 I don't mean the size. A couple hundred people filled 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.640 out the survey, and there are two big things that 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.320 came out. It's number one, changing your comparison group. And 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:20.120 I'm sure we'll get into this, but like how our 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:22.560 culture is just like big dick, big dick, big dick, 0:06:22.640 --> 0:06:25.920 everywhere you look. And the other was just partners or 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:28.279 being a slut or whatever, and seeing that it's actually 0:06:28.440 --> 0:06:30.760 not making as much of a difference as you thought 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:33.120 it was going to make it. It was integrating those 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:36.839 ideas and really breaking it down to be like, okay, 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:39.120 it's one thing to say like be confident, but like 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.200 how do you get there? Part of it was figuring 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.240 out a solution and how to teach it to people. 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.520 I'm curious, when you did this survey, do you find 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:49.040 that a lot of people have what, for lack of 0:06:49.080 --> 0:06:50.839 a better word, I will call penis d is morphia 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.440 where they're like, oh, I must have a micro penis, 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.640 but penis is so small, and it is actually like 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:59.800 either statistically quite average or like very much in proportion to. 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:04.440 Their Absolutely, I think that happens very frequently, and a 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:08.080 lot of that is the fact that our reference point 0:07:08.320 --> 0:07:12.080 is so inaccurate as it used to be, where when 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.280 you talked about porn star dick, there was an idea 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.320 that it was like a separate category, that it was 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:19.680 almost like it was a spectacle, like it was not 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:23.200 what was expected from the normal person. But now as 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:27.200 social media and I love all my friends on OnlyFans, 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.800 but what gets promoted on social media the way the 0:07:29.840 --> 0:07:32.440 algorithm works is all of a sudden, every penis you're 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:37.080 seeing is well above average. And I like to equate 0:07:37.160 --> 0:07:40.280 it to like if you only saw basketball players, but 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:43.000 then the only other people you saw were over six' 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:47.320 three and you were five,' ten you would feel short 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:49.600 even though you're theoretically. 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.080 The Average so. 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:52.800 I'm curious we've talked a little bit about some of, 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:55.720 the examples, the trends the challenges, the porn but what 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:58.800 are some of the ways culturally that we not only 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.840 reinforce the idea that big, are desirable but that small dicks. 0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:06.000 ARE not i think a great example is, in film 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:10.680 like it's so rare that male full frontal, is included 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:14.360 but especially if you look at, comedy films and when it, 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:19.480 does occur that's, The joke like either that somebody is 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:24.600 incredibly hung and, it's unexpected or that somebody has a 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:28.680 small dick and it's out like that's. THE joke i 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:32.960 think that's sort of messaging is. Just pervasive, it's amazing 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.400 LIKE since i launched, this program the amount of people 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.599 who will make a joke and then apologize to me 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.360 because it's something they aren't. Thinking about and we just 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:44.400 are so programmed to make, dick jokes Especially Like big 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:47.600 dick's good, type jokes because it's so ingrained in our 0:08:47.679 --> 0:08:50.360 culture that we're not thinking. About it it just comes 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.880 out of our, mouths literally not into. 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:55.880 Our mouths, YEAH yeah i, WAS like i don't know, 0:08:55.960 --> 0:08:58.120 about YOU but i remember a couple of years ago 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.199 When big dick energy was every where all over. The 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.480 internet all you could see were like folks in, gray 0:09:03.520 --> 0:09:06.319 sweatpans people talking about big, dick energy whether it was 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.680 actual big dicks or just people walking around with a sense. 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:11.920 Of bravado what was your take? On that and didn't 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:12.440 have an impact. 0:09:12.480 --> 0:09:16.400 ON you i would say it's such a common belief 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.120 that it didn't. Feel new it just felt a new 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:22.120 expression of something that we see all of. The time 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:27.440 so it wasn't a surprise or specially purtfol or triggering 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:30.480 that big dick, now means as, you said bravado is 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.040 the perfect way to, say it because that's what it's 0:09:33.760 --> 0:09:36.960 always stood for in our society for a very. Long 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:40.400 time it just felt like more of, the same or just, 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.480 a repackaging if. You will so when we say, below 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:45.800 average we're talking about half of the people in the world. 0:09:45.840 --> 0:09:50.240 With penises this is billions, of people and it's funny 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:51.920 that it's something to, think, like oh this is this 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.960 incredibly small minority and it's just a lot. Of people 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.280 there's so much stigma around it that part of the 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:02.719 journey is paring yourself, for rejection and part of the 0:10:02.800 --> 0:10:06.760 most confusing thing is when rejection, doesn't happen you're not 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:11.040 prepared for PEOPLE like i don't care, Like fine like in, 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:14.920 my head it was interpreting that, as, like oh you're 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:18.160 not telling me, the TRUTH and i think that definitely hurt. 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:22.000 Some relationships, EARLY on i would retreat into, my head 0:10:22.880 --> 0:10:24.800 even though there is all of the evidence in the 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:28.199 world that THE problem i think is a problem is not. 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:32.079 Is not so it's been a matter of realizing that 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:35.000 it's a story we're told that people don't care nearly 0:10:35.240 --> 0:10:38.559 as much as we are led, to believe and then. 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.080 Just living did you have a period of time where 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:42.400 you rejected guys for not being? 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:42.560 Big? 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:46.439 Enough, no, NO yeah i, would say like that's one 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:51.000 of the things that helped me move past my. Internal issues, it's, 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:55.160 like oh that, Is fine like that person is, my size, 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:59.920 are smaller and that was, absolutely sufficient and they're probably 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.439 in their head about this issue. As well so, IF 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:07.920 anything i would say that it helped the process of. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:12.920 Acceptance, along conversely, have you in your own experiences or 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.319 had friends tell you about a moment where somebody was 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.439 rejected for, the opposite for their dick being? 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:22.079 Too, big, yeah, Oh certainly like this IS something i 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:25.439 like to joke with my hung. Friends about It's like 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:27.400 i've never had a bad blowjob because you're not like 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:31.599 struggling to. Uninjure. Job YEAH what i have FOUND is 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:36.199 i can tap people that you absolutely cannot because of, 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:40.800 their anatomy like being smaller than average actually allows them to. Get, 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:45.040 fucked yeah whereas even average or above it's too painful 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:45.640 and it's too much. 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:47.719 For them at what point does that preference kind of 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.240 turn into A fetish like do you seek out people 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:55.040 who state they are turned on by smaller than? Average 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:57.960 dicks or is that kind of like a yellow flag? 0:11:58.040 --> 0:12:02.520 For YOU it's i, would, Say. NEUTRAL okay i remember 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:04.439 the FIRST time i. Was fetishized it was from, a 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:08.400 beard and it was such an, odd, experience, like oh 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:10.760 you do not care about what is attached to. THAT 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:16.880 beard i personally don't enjoy being objectified, or fetishized and 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:19.839 a lot of. People do and if that is what you're, 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:23.160 seeking for it's a little harder, To find like there's 0:12:23.320 --> 0:12:27.840 no tags for hung for small or you know whatever Might, 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:31.319 see yeah if we, searched it there might be like 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:33.520 three People or i'm sure. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:36.559 It exists it's just harder to, Search FOR like i 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:38.760 wouldn't know where. To, Begin Yeah so i'd love to 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.120 talk a little bit more. About Apps and i'm wondering 0:12:41.760 --> 0:12:44.400 what type of anxieties do folks with smaller or average 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:48.040 penesses sort of come up against as they navigate WHAT 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:52.959 sometimes i call. The cesspool right of human beings. Aren't 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:54.400 apps the. 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:58.200 Fear really comes when you are getting ready to open 0:12:58.320 --> 0:13:02.640 up your private album or just send. A pick you 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.040 could be having the greatest conversation in the world and be, 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.000 very excited and then you open up your album and 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:12.440 then there's radio silence or there's an excuse and they 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:14.880 respond and, It's, like okay they didn't like something they 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:18.920 saw there more, than likely and it's really easy to 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:23.200 attribute it to. Your size sometimes it is, more direct 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:28.319 but most people are too afraid of confrontation or to recognize, and, 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.920 say sorry your penis is too small, For, me like 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:35.360 that's not something that people. Typically say so it's mostly 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:37.400 just things are going well and then they're. 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:37.800 Just not going. 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:39.959 At ALL before i ask this, next question do you 0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:42.760 want to be clear we're not talking about a, disability, 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:45.719 HERE right a small penis is not. Necessarily DISABILITY but 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:50.520 i am curious if you see any parallel struggles with 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:54.760 people fighting, Against, ableism, like ultimately, it's like how do 0:13:54.880 --> 0:13:57.120 we make a world that is obsessed with policing or 0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.800 punishing people for not having the right kind of big 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:01.319 or quotes right kind. 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:04.559 Of, BODY absolutely i think it kind of comes from 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.880 the same root belief that there is no human body 0:14:08.960 --> 0:14:12.000 that is automatically disqualified from sex. 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.480 Or relationships like we all know. 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.079 That there is a hierarchy, of attraction and however close to, 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:20.520 the top the easier. IT is i don't sit here, and, 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:23.000 say like if you have a, small penis you're not 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.040 going to, get rejected because that is not an accurate thing. 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:31.880 To say it's incredibly unfair that because of people's bodies 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:35.840 they have to develop, resiliency strategies but it also is 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:36.160 kind of. 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.240 The case how have you or some of the folks 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:41.160 that you've, worked with either through your events or, your 0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:45.760 classes faced rejection when it comes to, your body specifically. 0:14:45.800 --> 0:14:49.560 Penis size everyone faces rejection at, some point but it 0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.600 comes in, many forms and a lot of the times 0:14:52.800 --> 0:14:56.400 it's when there's an unanswered reason, for it where we 0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:59.440 fill that in with the thing that we are meanest to. 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:01.000 Ourselves about so. 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.880 Anytime that there's just the unanswered questions, like oh because my, 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:07.280 dick size it's easy your brain doesn't have to come 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.600 up with, an answer we shorthand otherwise sometimes it's, more 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:13.920 Direct like i've certainly been told hung for hung the 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:16.240 Body that i'm looking for you, don't have and. 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:17.640 That sucks but. 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:23.440 It's reality so it's just about thinking broader, than Yourself 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:25.520 and i'd, be, like oh this is something that everybody 0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.160 experiences for. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.840 Some reason so in, season one or very, first season 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.640 we Interviewed Doctor, josh gonzalez an expert of all, things 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.880 penile and he talked to us about different strategies that 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:42.760 people use for, a bigger fuller. Sized penis i'm wondering 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:46.080 if you yourself have ever thought about or been tempted 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:46.560 to do something. 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:49.160 Like that EVEN if i had known about it and also, 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:52.200 the costs it wouldn't be SOMETHING that i would. Personally 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:55.320 CONSIDER but i Have bought there's a sex toy product 0:15:55.400 --> 0:16:00.360 called sheets and like it works like a cock rank balls, 0:16:00.400 --> 0:16:03.120 go through your chef goes in and it gives you 0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:05.880 an extra. TWO inches i did purchase one. Of those 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:08.480 and the FIRST thing, i did and this definitely counts 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:12.320 as gender affirming something is put on the pair of. 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:16.880 Gray sweatpants, oh Yeah, it's god that's what that would. Look, 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.480 Like YEAH and i used it with a partner and 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.160 it was quickly established that it was more for me 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:24.280 than it was, for him because there was one OTHER 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:26.760 guy i actually prefer you. Got it it, was like, 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:30.440 Oh okay and that's another thing that helps me, realize like, 0:16:30.560 --> 0:16:33.480 oh right there's nothing wrong with me or ANYTHING that 0:16:33.480 --> 0:16:33.880 i need to be. 0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:37.440 Shamed, Of, so phil we mentioned in your bio that 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:41.280 you've worked on ISSUES like hiv PREVENTION. And prep how 0:16:41.320 --> 0:16:43.280 did you get into that and how did it lead 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.040 to your parties in some of the events and classes you're. 0:16:46.080 --> 0:16:49.720 Doing now my health communications worke didn't directly lead into 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.320 the parties or. The magazines it WAS more i was 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:56.760 doing these as hobbies that became my full, time job 0:16:57.280 --> 0:17:00.240 and that now has led into ME because i mean 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.880 somebody that people trust and come to. With issues and 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:08.040 one thing was just this insecurity. Around size but FOR 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:13.159 years i WORKED for lgbt community health centers in COMMUNICATIONS 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:16.639 and i was there RIGHT when prep was approved for. 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:20.920 Gay men so it was a matter of figuring out 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:23.800 how to get the word out and how to utilize 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:28.000 the media as. It WAS so i ended up advertising 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.920 on the apps and then it worked out and solely 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.919 was training other community health centers around the country how 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.680 to do, similar things just to let people know it 0:17:37.760 --> 0:17:40.200 was out there, and frankly for a lot, of people 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:44.000 it was a very easy sell because it alleviates such 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:47.600 a big worry if, you're, gay, like oh there's A 0:17:47.640 --> 0:17:51.520 pill i can take every day that drastically reduces the 0:17:51.680 --> 0:17:56.240 chance of ME contracting hiv like nearly one. HUNDRED percent 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.679 prep helped break down that division between people who are 0:18:00.720 --> 0:18:01.639 positive and people who. 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:04.600 Are negative i'm curious when you say you advertised, on 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:06.840 apps was it like the organization that you were doing 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:08.399 advertising in the apps or were you just on. 0:18:08.520 --> 0:18:12.440 Your profile, being like, oh no it was, The organization, 0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:18.520 like properly it was, just, like hey, this, exists OKAY and, i, 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:18.960 know yeah. 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:21.760 PAYMENT definitely i think early on before we had all 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:24.480 these like copay, assistance programs which did come up pretty 0:18:24.560 --> 0:18:26.920 QUICKLY after prep. Was, APPROVED yeah, i know there was 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.840 a big concern access very. Early on, it's, like yeah, 0:18:29.920 --> 0:18:31.760 this exists how do you get into the communities THAT? 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:34.760 Need post and that was really great about working for, 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:38.280 healthcare CENTERS especially, lgbt ones, is like We're In New, 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:41.000 York State So New york state had programs that helped 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.400 with the paperwork to make sure that access was available, 0:18:44.440 --> 0:18:49.000 to people and unfortunately that's not, available everywhere and it absolutely, 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:51.960 should be but it's always helpful to have somebody who's 0:18:51.960 --> 0:18:55.080 able to cut through the. Health system, just yes do. 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:57.280 We think that there is still a struggle with access 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:57.760 when it COMES. 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:00.159 To, Prep ABSOLUTELY and i think a lot of it 0:19:00.359 --> 0:19:03.080 is systemic barriers where a lot of people who would 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:05.840 BENEFIT from prep they don't have the EXPERIENCE that i 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:09.280 had where it's supported by their family where they have 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:11.840 to stay in the closet because they need that, Community 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:15.240 support like there is a price to, Coming out like 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:18.200 you need to be able to, support yourself and a 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:20.359 lot of people don't. Have that and luckily they're new 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.119 innovations that. Really help there's a couple forms OF injectable 0:19:24.160 --> 0:19:26.480 prep now where you don't need to have the pill 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:30.800 in your. Medicine cabinet so if it is a situation 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.840 where you don't want that tell that you're a man 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.359 who's having sex, with men you do have another option 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:38.360 where you just going to the doctor and then get. 0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:41.320 An, injection yeah in, the butt in, the butt it's in. The, 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:45.000 butt yeah. Got it, OH wow i love. 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:47.000 A good excuse for a. Butt injection it's my. Favorite 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:47.399 thing he. 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:48.240