Speaker 1: Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about
Speaker 1: queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities.
Speaker 1: If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more
Speaker 1: offense your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer
Speaker 1: discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 2: Put JR.
Speaker 3: Pussy, put your put your pussy up, Put your pussy,
Speaker 3: put put your pussy.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and.
Speaker 4: I'm christtison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world
Speaker 4: of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 2: We talk to queer folks of all kinds.
Speaker 1: We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations,
Speaker 1: and provide practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 5: Put Joy, put Jos, put Joe, put put your put Put.
Speaker 1: You all right, Chris, We're we got a theme today.
Speaker 1: I think you're gonna know. Yeah, yeah, let's just pull
Speaker 1: it all out on the table. Let's pull it out today.
Speaker 1: We're talking about dix.
Speaker 4: We were talking about and dick sizes specifically, specifically, it
Speaker 4: does seem like We're obsessed with dicks.
Speaker 2: Humanity's been obsess with dicks for a really long time.
Speaker 1: Accurate, there are like ancient deities with gargantuan fallacies.
Speaker 6: They are a lovely thing to be obsessed with.
Speaker 2: But I do wonder if perhaps that obsession has gone
Speaker 2: a little far.
Speaker 6: Sure, I can see that you're.
Speaker 2: Like a someone of size. I don't think it's not
Speaker 2: what I said, not me outing my experience.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 4: I mean I will say, like, as a person who
Speaker 4: works in nightlife, and I am a go go dancer
Speaker 4: and the parties I work out are really sexy for
Speaker 4: the most part.
Speaker 6: I'm not one of these dancers.
Speaker 4: That's like doing a try mix before I start working, right,
Speaker 4: And I do work with some folks who are really
Speaker 4: well endowed, and you know, sometimes it gives me a
Speaker 4: little insecurity about like about my penis size.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you should see some of the dicks I work with.
Speaker 1: I was like, I saw your cockage. I feel like
Speaker 1: I could take a nap in it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like, damn, that is why I that is accurate.
Speaker 1: You are a woman of a certain size. Yeah yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: as am I yeah yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but yeah, I mean it is an interesting thing
Speaker 4: where I do have to like check in with myself
Speaker 4: about it because I do watch the attention that they
Speaker 4: get and the money that they get specifically, and I'm
Speaker 4: always like, Ooh, is this something that I should be
Speaker 4: doing to be making more money or to get more attention.
Speaker 4: I mean, I know you're not on a box throwing
Speaker 4: that ass in a circle.
Speaker 6: But what about you.
Speaker 2: I don't know where I am on the weekends.
Speaker 6: You know, friends, I know exactly what you are, exactly right.
Speaker 1: I'm not a go good answer, so I'm like calling
Speaker 1: us something the poetry, I don't know. I've never really
Speaker 1: like had hang ups about penisizes, Like I don't really
Speaker 1: care about other people's penisizes. I'm not freaked out about
Speaker 1: my own. Like I will say, I did have one
Speaker 1: interaction because I am short. I'm like a very short person.
Speaker 1: I hoped it was somebody at a hotel when I
Speaker 1: was like on a work trip years and years and
Speaker 1: years ago. I remember I got into his hotel and
Speaker 1: I was like kind of hard already because we've been
Speaker 1: like cooking up. And I took up my pants and
Speaker 1: started laughing, and I go, what's happening here? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: a comedian, but I haven't tried out any material.
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 6: And maybe that was the material?
Speaker 2: Yeah? No, and he just looks down. He goes, it
Speaker 2: looks like it's photoshopped onto your body, and I was like,
Speaker 2: what do you mean.
Speaker 1: He's like, it's just you're just so short that like
Speaker 1: it looks like it's And I was like, all right, great, cool,
Speaker 1: like thank you, and then I don't.
Speaker 2: Actually that weirded me out? Who's that kind of weird?
Speaker 1: I was like, we could have saved it for afterwards.
Speaker 1: It could have been like fun in bedroobe. Like I
Speaker 1: was like, we're scrutinizing.
Speaker 4: I also feel like I am that person that probably
Speaker 4: would have said that because I'm awkward as fuck.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we're talking about dicks today and whether you
Speaker 1: are a straight, gay, or queer man, society is constantly
Speaker 1: sending us messages that big dicks are the most desirable
Speaker 1: body part someone could have.
Speaker 4: That leads to many of us growing up feeling bad
Speaker 4: about our penisides, regardless of whether we're hung or not.
Speaker 1: But I'm curious what kind of damage we do to
Speaker 1: ourselves when our world revolves around our dicks. Are there
Speaker 1: ways we can embrace our bodies for what they are
Speaker 1: and our penis sizes whatever they are, while learning to
Speaker 1: actually feel good about ours else.
Speaker 4: Our guest today has done it, and now he's helping
Speaker 4: others feel good about their dicks as well.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Philip Minor is an activist and educator who spent years
Speaker 1: in public health dealing with issues like HIV prevention and prep.
Speaker 1: He's best known in New York City for throwing Natural Pursuits,
Speaker 1: a queer nudist gathering without a sexual component, and Pheromone,
Speaker 1: a very sexy nightlife party for guys who love men
Speaker 1: with and trigger warning to the deodorant girlies here naturally
Speaker 1: scented armpits.
Speaker 4: His latest endeavor furthers his efforts to help queer people
Speaker 4: feel good about their bodies. Phil's new Packaging Acceptance Program
Speaker 4: is a sixth week online course to retrain our queer
Speaker 4: brains to embrace and celebrate those with small dick energy.
Speaker 1: And today he's going to share some of his wisdom
Speaker 1: with us and you. He's welcome to Ciphy's Cruising Confessions.
Speaker 1: Philip Minor felper excited to be.
Speaker 6: Here, so talk to us about your package Acceptance program.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this came directly out of my Natural Pursuits project,
Speaker 2: which is the newdist It's essentially an online magazine, and
Speaker 2: I would get a lot of dms people like wish
Speaker 2: i could just go to a New dis event, but
Speaker 2: I've got a lot of insecurities about my body. And
Speaker 2: I drilled down on that and she was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: what are you worried about? And people would be cagy,
Speaker 2: But luckily I have an audience who loves to fill
Speaker 2: out a survey, so I asked and the two things
Speaker 2: that came up were just not comfortable with the way
Speaker 2: or with their bodies as the age, and the other
Speaker 2: thing was just various things about their package, which I
Speaker 2: can probably actually just say, penis.
Speaker 6: Here, you could take me.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, So people were saying this and I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: let me find a resource to send to people, and
Speaker 2: there just wasn't anything. And what I found is there's
Speaker 2: a lot of books on Amazon that are like living
Speaker 2: with a micro penis, and you go and it's a
Speaker 2: gag book that's just a notebook that's completely blank. Oh
Speaker 2: my god. And I looked and there's some online resources,
Speaker 2: but those pages get a little in sully, a little
Speaker 2: quick because it's mostly straight men. So I was like,
Speaker 2: oh fine, I'll do it myself. So months and months
Speaker 2: of research of like, okay, how do different people tackle
Speaker 2: this problem? And by problem I mean getting over your insecurities,
Speaker 2: I don't mean the size. A couple hundred people filled
Speaker 2: out the survey, and there are two big things that
Speaker 2: came out. It's number one, changing your comparison group. And
Speaker 2: I'm sure we'll get into this, but like how our
Speaker 2: culture is just like big dick, big dick, big dick,
Speaker 2: everywhere you look. And the other was just partners or
Speaker 2: being a slut or whatever, and seeing that it's actually
Speaker 2: not making as much of a difference as you thought
Speaker 2: it was going to make it. It was integrating those
Speaker 2: ideas and really breaking it down to be like, okay,
Speaker 2: it's one thing to say like be confident, but like
Speaker 2: how do you get there? Part of it was figuring
Speaker 2: out a solution and how to teach it to people.
Speaker 1: I'm curious, when you did this survey, do you find
Speaker 1: that a lot of people have what, for lack of
Speaker 1: a better word, I will call penis d is morphia
Speaker 1: where they're like, oh, I must have a micro penis,
Speaker 1: but penis is so small, and it is actually like
Speaker 1: either statistically quite average or like very much in proportion to.
Speaker 2: Their Absolutely, I think that happens very frequently, and a
Speaker 2: lot of that is the fact that our reference point
Speaker 2: is so inaccurate as it used to be, where when
Speaker 2: you talked about porn star dick, there was an idea
Speaker 2: that it was like a separate category, that it was
Speaker 2: almost like it was a spectacle, like it was not
Speaker 2: what was expected from the normal person. But now as
Speaker 2: social media and I love all my friends on OnlyFans,
Speaker 2: but what gets promoted on social media the way the
Speaker 2: algorithm works is all of a sudden, every penis you're
Speaker 2: seeing is well above average. And I like to equate
Speaker 2: it to like if you only saw basketball players, but
Speaker 2: then the only other people you saw were over six'
Speaker 2: three and you were five,' ten you would feel short
Speaker 2: even though you're theoretically.
Speaker 6: The Average so.
Speaker 1: I'm curious we've talked a little bit about some of,
Speaker 1: the examples, the trends the challenges, the porn but what
Speaker 1: are some of the ways culturally that we not only
Speaker 1: reinforce the idea that big, are desirable but that small dicks.
Speaker 2: ARE not i think a great example is, in film
Speaker 2: like it's so rare that male full frontal, is included
Speaker 2: but especially if you look at, comedy films and when it,
Speaker 2: does occur that's, The joke like either that somebody is
Speaker 2: incredibly hung and, it's unexpected or that somebody has a
Speaker 2: small dick and it's out like that's. THE joke i
Speaker 2: think that's sort of messaging is. Just pervasive, it's amazing
Speaker 2: LIKE since i launched, this program the amount of people
Speaker 2: who will make a joke and then apologize to me
Speaker 2: because it's something they aren't. Thinking about and we just
Speaker 2: are so programmed to make, dick jokes Especially Like big
Speaker 2: dick's good, type jokes because it's so ingrained in our
Speaker 2: culture that we're not thinking. About it it just comes
Speaker 2: out of our, mouths literally not into.
Speaker 4: Our mouths, YEAH yeah i, WAS like i don't know,
Speaker 4: about YOU but i remember a couple of years ago
Speaker 4: When big dick energy was every where all over. The
Speaker 4: internet all you could see were like folks in, gray
Speaker 4: sweatpans people talking about big, dick energy whether it was
Speaker 4: actual big dicks or just people walking around with a sense.
Speaker 6: Of bravado what was your take? On that and didn't
Speaker 6: have an impact.
Speaker 2: ON you i would say it's such a common belief
Speaker 2: that it didn't. Feel new it just felt a new
Speaker 2: expression of something that we see all of. The time
Speaker 2: so it wasn't a surprise or specially purtfol or triggering
Speaker 2: that big dick, now means as, you said bravado is
Speaker 2: the perfect way to, say it because that's what it's
Speaker 2: always stood for in our society for a very. Long
Speaker 2: time it just felt like more of, the same or just,
Speaker 2: a repackaging if. You will so when we say, below
Speaker 2: average we're talking about half of the people in the world.
Speaker 2: With penises this is billions, of people and it's funny
Speaker 2: that it's something to, think, like oh this is this
Speaker 2: incredibly small minority and it's just a lot. Of people
Speaker 2: there's so much stigma around it that part of the
Speaker 2: journey is paring yourself, for rejection and part of the
Speaker 2: most confusing thing is when rejection, doesn't happen you're not
Speaker 2: prepared for PEOPLE like i don't care, Like fine like in,
Speaker 2: my head it was interpreting that, as, like oh you're
Speaker 2: not telling me, the TRUTH and i think that definitely hurt.
Speaker 2: Some relationships, EARLY on i would retreat into, my head
Speaker 2: even though there is all of the evidence in the
Speaker 2: world that THE problem i think is a problem is not.
Speaker 2: Is not so it's been a matter of realizing that
Speaker 2: it's a story we're told that people don't care nearly
Speaker 2: as much as we are led, to believe and then.
Speaker 6: Just living did you have a period of time where
Speaker 6: you rejected guys for not being?
Speaker 7: Big?
Speaker 2: Enough, no, NO yeah i, would say like that's one
Speaker 2: of the things that helped me move past my. Internal issues, it's,
Speaker 2: like oh that, Is fine like that person is, my size,
Speaker 2: are smaller and that was, absolutely sufficient and they're probably
Speaker 2: in their head about this issue. As well so, IF
Speaker 2: anything i would say that it helped the process of.
Speaker 1: Acceptance, along conversely, have you in your own experiences or
Speaker 1: had friends tell you about a moment where somebody was
Speaker 1: rejected for, the opposite for their dick being?
Speaker 2: Too, big, yeah, Oh certainly like this IS something i
Speaker 2: like to joke with my hung. Friends about It's like
Speaker 2: i've never had a bad blowjob because you're not like
Speaker 2: struggling to. Uninjure. Job YEAH what i have FOUND is
Speaker 2: i can tap people that you absolutely cannot because of,
Speaker 2: their anatomy like being smaller than average actually allows them to. Get,
Speaker 2: fucked yeah whereas even average or above it's too painful
Speaker 2: and it's too much.
Speaker 1: For them at what point does that preference kind of
Speaker 1: turn into A fetish like do you seek out people
Speaker 1: who state they are turned on by smaller than? Average
Speaker 1: dicks or is that kind of like a yellow flag?
Speaker 2: For YOU it's i, would, Say. NEUTRAL okay i remember
Speaker 2: the FIRST time i. Was fetishized it was from, a
Speaker 2: beard and it was such an, odd, experience, like oh
Speaker 2: you do not care about what is attached to. THAT
Speaker 2: beard i personally don't enjoy being objectified, or fetishized and
Speaker 2: a lot of. People do and if that is what you're,
Speaker 2: seeking for it's a little harder, To find like there's
Speaker 2: no tags for hung for small or you know whatever Might,
Speaker 2: see yeah if we, searched it there might be like
Speaker 2: three People or i'm sure.
Speaker 4: It exists it's just harder to, Search FOR like i
Speaker 4: wouldn't know where. To, Begin Yeah so i'd love to
Speaker 4: talk a little bit more. About Apps and i'm wondering
Speaker 4: what type of anxieties do folks with smaller or average
Speaker 4: penesses sort of come up against as they navigate WHAT
Speaker 4: sometimes i call. The cesspool right of human beings. Aren't
Speaker 4: apps the.
Speaker 2: Fear really comes when you are getting ready to open
Speaker 2: up your private album or just send. A pick you
Speaker 2: could be having the greatest conversation in the world and be,
Speaker 2: very excited and then you open up your album and
Speaker 2: then there's radio silence or there's an excuse and they
Speaker 2: respond and, It's, like okay they didn't like something they
Speaker 2: saw there more, than likely and it's really easy to
Speaker 2: attribute it to. Your size sometimes it is, more direct
Speaker 2: but most people are too afraid of confrontation or to recognize, and,
Speaker 2: say sorry your penis is too small, For, me like
Speaker 2: that's not something that people. Typically say so it's mostly
Speaker 2: just things are going well and then they're.
Speaker 6: Just not going.
Speaker 1: At ALL before i ask this, next question do you
Speaker 1: want to be clear we're not talking about a, disability,
Speaker 1: HERE right a small penis is not. Necessarily DISABILITY but
Speaker 1: i am curious if you see any parallel struggles with
Speaker 1: people fighting, Against, ableism, like ultimately, it's like how do
Speaker 1: we make a world that is obsessed with policing or
Speaker 1: punishing people for not having the right kind of big
Speaker 1: or quotes right kind.
Speaker 2: Of, BODY absolutely i think it kind of comes from
Speaker 2: the same root belief that there is no human body
Speaker 2: that is automatically disqualified from sex.
Speaker 6: Or relationships like we all know.
Speaker 2: That there is a hierarchy, of attraction and however close to,
Speaker 2: the top the easier. IT is i don't sit here, and,
Speaker 2: say like if you have a, small penis you're not
Speaker 2: going to, get rejected because that is not an accurate thing.
Speaker 2: To say it's incredibly unfair that because of people's bodies
Speaker 2: they have to develop, resiliency strategies but it also is
Speaker 2: kind of.
Speaker 1: The case how have you or some of the folks
Speaker 1: that you've, worked with either through your events or, your
Speaker 1: classes faced rejection when it comes to, your body specifically.
Speaker 2: Penis size everyone faces rejection at, some point but it
Speaker 2: comes in, many forms and a lot of the times
Speaker 2: it's when there's an unanswered reason, for it where we
Speaker 2: fill that in with the thing that we are meanest to.
Speaker 6: Ourselves about so.
Speaker 2: Anytime that there's just the unanswered questions, like oh because my,
Speaker 2: dick size it's easy your brain doesn't have to come
Speaker 2: up with, an answer we shorthand otherwise sometimes it's, more
Speaker 2: Direct like i've certainly been told hung for hung the
Speaker 2: Body that i'm looking for you, don't have and.
Speaker 6: That sucks but.
Speaker 2: It's reality so it's just about thinking broader, than Yourself
Speaker 2: and i'd, be, like oh this is something that everybody
Speaker 2: experiences for.
Speaker 1: Some reason so in, season one or very, first season
Speaker 1: we Interviewed Doctor, josh gonzalez an expert of all, things
Speaker 1: penile and he talked to us about different strategies that
Speaker 1: people use for, a bigger fuller. Sized penis i'm wondering
Speaker 1: if you yourself have ever thought about or been tempted
Speaker 1: to do something.
Speaker 2: Like that EVEN if i had known about it and also,
Speaker 2: the costs it wouldn't be SOMETHING that i would. Personally
Speaker 2: CONSIDER but i Have bought there's a sex toy product
Speaker 2: called sheets and like it works like a cock rank balls,
Speaker 2: go through your chef goes in and it gives you
Speaker 2: an extra. TWO inches i did purchase one. Of those
Speaker 2: and the FIRST thing, i did and this definitely counts
Speaker 2: as gender affirming something is put on the pair of.
Speaker 2: Gray sweatpants, oh Yeah, it's god that's what that would. Look,
Speaker 2: Like YEAH and i used it with a partner and
Speaker 2: it was quickly established that it was more for me
Speaker 2: than it was, for him because there was one OTHER
Speaker 2: guy i actually prefer you. Got it it, was like,
Speaker 2: Oh okay and that's another thing that helps me, realize like,
Speaker 2: oh right there's nothing wrong with me or ANYTHING that
Speaker 2: i need to be.
Speaker 1: Shamed, Of, so phil we mentioned in your bio that
Speaker 1: you've worked on ISSUES like hiv PREVENTION. And prep how
Speaker 1: did you get into that and how did it lead
Speaker 1: to your parties in some of the events and classes you're.
Speaker 2: Doing now my health communications worke didn't directly lead into
Speaker 2: the parties or. The magazines it WAS more i was
Speaker 2: doing these as hobbies that became my full, time job
Speaker 2: and that now has led into ME because i mean
Speaker 2: somebody that people trust and come to. With issues and
Speaker 2: one thing was just this insecurity. Around size but FOR
Speaker 2: years i WORKED for lgbt community health centers in COMMUNICATIONS
Speaker 2: and i was there RIGHT when prep was approved for.
Speaker 2: Gay men so it was a matter of figuring out
Speaker 2: how to get the word out and how to utilize
Speaker 2: the media as. It WAS so i ended up advertising
Speaker 2: on the apps and then it worked out and solely
Speaker 2: was training other community health centers around the country how
Speaker 2: to do, similar things just to let people know it
Speaker 2: was out there, and frankly for a lot, of people
Speaker 2: it was a very easy sell because it alleviates such
Speaker 2: a big worry if, you're, gay, like oh there's A
Speaker 2: pill i can take every day that drastically reduces the
Speaker 2: chance of ME contracting hiv like nearly one. HUNDRED percent
Speaker 2: prep helped break down that division between people who are
Speaker 2: positive and people who.
Speaker 1: Are negative i'm curious when you say you advertised, on
Speaker 1: apps was it like the organization that you were doing
Speaker 1: advertising in the apps or were you just on.
Speaker 2: Your profile, being like, oh no it was, The organization,
Speaker 2: like properly it was, just, like hey, this, exists OKAY and, i,
Speaker 2: know yeah.
Speaker 1: PAYMENT definitely i think early on before we had all
Speaker 1: these like copay, assistance programs which did come up pretty
Speaker 1: QUICKLY after prep. Was, APPROVED yeah, i know there was
Speaker 1: a big concern access very. Early on, it's, like yeah,
Speaker 1: this exists how do you get into the communities THAT?
Speaker 2: Need post and that was really great about working for,
Speaker 2: healthcare CENTERS especially, lgbt ones, is like We're In New,
Speaker 2: York State So New york state had programs that helped
Speaker 2: with the paperwork to make sure that access was available,
Speaker 2: to people and unfortunately that's not, available everywhere and it absolutely,
Speaker 2: should be but it's always helpful to have somebody who's
Speaker 2: able to cut through the. Health system, just yes do.
Speaker 6: We think that there is still a struggle with access
Speaker 6: when it COMES.
Speaker 2: To, Prep ABSOLUTELY and i think a lot of it
Speaker 2: is systemic barriers where a lot of people who would
Speaker 2: BENEFIT from prep they don't have the EXPERIENCE that i
Speaker 2: had where it's supported by their family where they have
Speaker 2: to stay in the closet because they need that, Community
Speaker 2: support like there is a price to, Coming out like
Speaker 2: you need to be able to, support yourself and a
Speaker 2: lot of people don't. Have that and luckily they're new
Speaker 2: innovations that. Really help there's a couple forms OF injectable
Speaker 2: prep now where you don't need to have the pill
Speaker 2: in your. Medicine cabinet so if it is a situation
Speaker 2: where you don't want that tell that you're a man
Speaker 2: who's having sex, with men you do have another option
Speaker 2: where you just going to the doctor and then get.
Speaker 6: An, injection yeah in, the butt in, the butt it's in. The,
Speaker 6: butt yeah. Got it, OH wow i love.
Speaker 2: A good excuse for a. Butt injection it's my. Favorite
Speaker 2: thing he.
Speaker 6: Did say the nurse was.
Speaker 1: Very, hot yeah the nurse is. Always, hot also you
Speaker 1: should go to the doctor even when your provider is.
Speaker 1: NOT attractive i.
Speaker 2: Guess, fine, YEAH right. I appreciate.
Speaker 4: I'm back we're going to be talking more about how
Speaker 4: to overcome our own, bodily insecurities and then later on
Speaker 4: we're going to be talking to some of the contestants
Speaker 4: In The new york's first ever mixed small.
Speaker 6: PENIS contests i. CANNOT wait, I know i. CAN'T wait i.
Speaker 6: Can't wait we'll be.
Speaker 8: Right back.
Speaker 1: Welcome back we are Talking With philip minor About His package,
Speaker 1: acceptance program and in, This act phil's going to be
Speaker 1: talking a little more about his six week online course
Speaker 1: to help folks feel better about.
Speaker 4: Their dicks i'd love to hear about How The package
Speaker 4: acceptance program is structured and maybe the types of exercises
Speaker 4: that folks.
Speaker 6: Might find in.
Speaker 2: The program it's set in two three. Week segments each
Speaker 2: week has three different lessons around the. Same topic they
Speaker 2: are about ten to fifteen, minutes long broken out, into
Speaker 2: segments and there's some activity or reflection for each. Of
Speaker 2: them the first is focused on, internal issues so part
Speaker 2: of that is understanding the stories that we're told about
Speaker 2: bigger's are and how to begin, dismantling them and then
Speaker 2: some very structured cognitive behavioral therapy techniques that are tailored for.
Speaker 2: The program And then i'm a, multidisciplinary guy so there's
Speaker 2: a little mindfulness and a little touch based therapy in
Speaker 2: there to develop new relationships with a part of your
Speaker 2: body that you've associated with. Negative things and then the
Speaker 2: second half is Tips that i've learned or people who
Speaker 2: filled out the survey Or people i've worked with we've
Speaker 2: discussed in how to, approach dating how to change your,
Speaker 2: comparison group so like you want to find out where
Speaker 2: nude camping sites are near you to try that out that's.
Speaker 2: In there and then finally it ends with just like
Speaker 2: how do sustain change and how to really build the
Speaker 2: systems for expecting failure and, fall back and like how
Speaker 2: to get back into it understanding that you've been feeling
Speaker 2: bad about yourself for a long time and it takes
Speaker 2: a little while to.
Speaker 1: Change that in terms of some the recommendations you might
Speaker 1: give folks in this course about where to seek out
Speaker 1: people who will be affirming about your body or are
Speaker 1: maybe into small dicks in a way that doesn't shool.
Speaker 1: Too fetishy what are some of the places or strategies
Speaker 1: you recommend for folks interacting.
Speaker 2: WITH others i think it's really helpful, for people even
Speaker 2: though it seems much scarier than, using apps is to
Speaker 2: go somewhere in person to if it's possible for them
Speaker 2: to do some in, person cruising those sort of things
Speaker 2: where it's really about the interpersonal chemistry and we're not
Speaker 2: so much segmented to the way the demographics that are
Speaker 2: in our profile or photos of individual, body parts so
Speaker 2: really it becomes about, the person, the place, the experience
Speaker 2: and it's less fragmented. And distant or even if there's
Speaker 2: something that you've got a huge mental block and need
Speaker 2: somebody and to ensure that they're super nice to you
Speaker 2: when you have sex, with them. Hire somebody sex workers
Speaker 2: exist for, a reason and that could be like a
Speaker 2: really nice step to, be, like okay this can be a.
Speaker 2: Pleasant experience and that's especially for people who are just
Speaker 2: trapped in.
Speaker 1: Their, heads now we did talk about the way media
Speaker 1: has contributed to some of the shame that folks with
Speaker 1: smaller penises might have becoming the butt of.
Speaker 2: The joke what are some strategies for, you know not avoiding.
Speaker 1: Or ignoring because you can't, ignore, it sure but for
Speaker 1: maybe dealing with these things or processing these things if
Speaker 1: it's something that can make you.
Speaker 2: Feel insecure so a lot of that is like breaking
Speaker 2: down the stories that we're told and like teaching ways
Speaker 2: to identify them so you can reject. THEM quickly a
Speaker 2: PRINCIPLE that i use for all of my work is,
Speaker 2: body neutrality the idea that we don't have to feel
Speaker 2: any way about, our bodies or achieve a, certain thing
Speaker 2: or to be ready in any way to partake in,
Speaker 2: these spaces because body positivity means, to me it means
Speaker 2: you have to have done the work before you're able
Speaker 2: to reap. The rewards or body neutrality just kind OF
Speaker 2: means i don't want to focus this much. On this
Speaker 2: so it allows people, the space well well crates the
Speaker 2: opportunity for people to. Enjoy spaces it's a way to
Speaker 2: make it just less important to people where they feel
Speaker 2: they need to be ready to take part in things,
Speaker 2: they like when in reality they're. ALREADY ready I think.
Speaker 6: I much prefer that.
Speaker 1: FRAMING too, I mean i'm not speaking, for PEOPLE but
Speaker 1: i think body neutrality feels so much more like digestible
Speaker 1: to me than, body positivity because there is a point
Speaker 1: where people, are like you're so perfect the.
Speaker 2: Way, you are we actually need more. Of you it,
Speaker 2: can right it can.
Speaker 1: Become condescending it's like highlighting the difference to the point where, it's,
Speaker 1: like okay like we're not, That different like you don't
Speaker 1: need to treat new. KID gloves i feel like folks
Speaker 1: that are over zealous about being good allies.
Speaker 2: Will like perform it to the point where, you're, like
Speaker 2: OKAY now i.
Speaker 6: Feel alienated now.
Speaker 2: You're thinking too much. About right, it's yeah it's such
Speaker 2: a different way to approach, sex specifically, like okay this
Speaker 2: is a sensory organ like we are feeling things, From
Speaker 2: this so we're really robbing ourselves of a lot by
Speaker 2: spending our time in our heads evaluating what people are thinking.
Speaker 2: About us it goes back to what? Is confidence how
Speaker 2: do you? Get confidence and the Fact that i'm not
Speaker 2: dwelling on what other people are thinking. About you when
Speaker 2: you're not doing, those things you appear confident even that
Speaker 2: if you're walking into a room and still a.
Speaker 4: Little insecure this might sound like an, odd Question but,
Speaker 4: i'm wondering should folks come out about.
Speaker 6: Their size it's a.
Speaker 2: PERSONAL decision i know that's a cop. Out answer but
Speaker 2: also as soon as people figured OUT that i might
Speaker 2: be smaller, than average people came out of the woodwork, To,
Speaker 2: learn like, oh people because there's not a place for
Speaker 2: this fetish or a way to. Search it so like
Speaker 2: as soon as, people know they'll slide into. Those dms
Speaker 2: so it's really like. Your goal you open a private
Speaker 2: album or if it's some plate and if it is your,
Speaker 2: main picture like people, will know like you don't have
Speaker 2: to necessarily, announce it but you can just play here's.
Speaker 2: My body use this information as you would like you, would,
Speaker 2: like right.
Speaker 1: And you know if you're going to make that information known,
Speaker 1: to me, friend center especially. Via image we need to
Speaker 1: start finding new items to compare. Penises to i'm tired
Speaker 1: of the cans. Of soda i'm tired of the bottles. Of,
Speaker 1: shampoo okay there are other. Cylindrical OBJECTS the tv remote
Speaker 1: was always a, popular ONE the.
Speaker 4: Tv, revolt okay you remember when we had we all
Speaker 4: had cable and they would use the Like The time.
Speaker 4: Warner remote, yes, REMOTE yes i mean there's also money
Speaker 4: to be made in, of course teaching people how to take.
Speaker 6: Dick pics people don't know about.
Speaker 1: The field sometimes sometimes you see the dick right up
Speaker 1: in the camera on the face, Back here, YOU'RE like
Speaker 1: i see what you, did there, but, right, yeah. Yeah
Speaker 1: okay so we are almost at the end of a
Speaker 1: hard time, With, you phil which is, very sad but
Speaker 1: we do want to do one more round.
Speaker 2: Of questions a lot more we'd like.
Speaker 6: To know so the, first question describe your sniffy's.
Speaker 2: Profile, picture oh we just kind of, were like it
Speaker 2: can be closer to a penis clamor shot like it's
Speaker 2: beautifully in.
Speaker 7: The, sun.
Speaker 2: Yeah listening it is very honest about what size, it
Speaker 2: is but like framed in the most appealing literal.
Speaker 1: Light possible, All right so describe the last person you
Speaker 1: hooked up with in three words.
Speaker 6: Or, less, oh fun.
Speaker 2: Penis piercing ooh.
Speaker 6: When you? Hook up is it, your place, their place
Speaker 6: or a? Third, place no it's my. PLACE always i. Live,
Speaker 6: alone okay what is.
Speaker 2: The corniest opening line that's worked, on you either in person?
Speaker 1: Or digitally i'm the, corneator one uh, huh, yeah okay
Speaker 1: so tell me your last corny line that Worked.
Speaker 2: Ifout I'm prompted i'll start with. A, joke yeah why
Speaker 2: did a scarecrow get? A promotion and then you got
Speaker 2: to wait for the other person to reply so that
Speaker 2: you can get in with the. Punch, line, Yeah okay so,
Speaker 2: MY god i don't know why here's outstanding in.
Speaker 6: THIS field i love where's the last place you've hooked up? With,
Speaker 6: someone no we're moving right along?
Speaker 2: My apartment uh huh oh yeah. Yeah yeah and what
Speaker 2: is your most controversial take regarding sex or? Queer life
Speaker 2: the idea that removing sex from a space actually makes
Speaker 2: it easier for people to make, real, friendships yeah to.
Speaker 2: Build community. Yeah yeah and also bars are. TOO loud
Speaker 2: i think both. Of them take.
Speaker 4: Your pick, All, right phil this has been an. Amazing
Speaker 4: discussion thank you so much for. Being here where can
Speaker 4: folks find you and where can they sign up for
Speaker 4: their package? ACCEPTANCE program i think.
Speaker 2: The easiest way would Be, my instagram which is at
Speaker 2: fill dot MINOR m i N er and if you
Speaker 2: want to go directly to, the website IT is pm pursuits.
Speaker 1: Dot com, all, right now as, we discussed there are
Speaker 1: some folks with smaller penises who really like when their
Speaker 1: partners point at it and laugh and some of those
Speaker 1: folks gathered This past April at rockbar for the First
Speaker 1: Ever Mixed Small. Penis contest in this, next segment you're
Speaker 1: going to meet some of, these contestants which include a
Speaker 1: few familiar faces from Last season's Locked and.
Speaker 2: Loving episode check it Out water ways in which you
Speaker 2: used your small penis for the good of. Human Kind that's.
Speaker 3: I'm lurching the lives of every single.
Speaker 9: One, Here.
Speaker 5: Hi I'm pup ROGER and i was one of the
Speaker 5: co hosts Of The Mix Small Penis rock Bar In
Speaker 5: New york city twenty twenty. FIVE pageant i was really
Speaker 5: adamant that the event should have the longest possible title
Speaker 5: for the smallest. Possible Day, peter cage who is one
Speaker 5: of my party collaborators At, rock bar had dreamed up
Speaker 5: this idea of a small.
Speaker 6: Penis, pageant hi my Name.
Speaker 9: Is, komba WHITE and i was one of the hosts
Speaker 9: For The Mixed small. Penis contest my ass, looks.
Speaker 2: Good your proportions.
Speaker 9: Always good the whole idea is CAM and i feel
Speaker 9: like it hearkens back to like, old school Like Underground.
Speaker 5: New york this host on, SOCIAL media i saw that
Speaker 5: was just someone we had never. Met before that, WAS
Speaker 5: like I Love New. York city what do you mean
Speaker 5: there's a small penis contest with the one hundred dollars.
Speaker 6: CASH prize I knew i had to be part.
Speaker 8: Of it my Name is JEFF and i was one
Speaker 8: of the contestants of the small. PENIS pageant i never
Speaker 8: really thought about my small penis as a pro in
Speaker 8: my LIFE until i got into the kink for chastity small.
Speaker 5: Penis humiliation it describes someone who is into the thought
Speaker 5: of being degraded or embarrassed for their. Penis size there
Speaker 5: is definitely overlap between small penis humiliation enthusiasts and people
Speaker 5: who love chastity in that they get off on this
Speaker 5: idea of being smaller.
Speaker 2: THAN normal i found that in that kink people really
Speaker 2: valued a smaller.
Speaker 8: Penis right they like the comparison of, their large erect
Speaker 8: cock versus, my, small tiny, locked dick and it became
Speaker 8: a kind of PRIDE that i would have this perfectly.
Speaker 2: TINY package i. LOVED it i loved having a small.
Speaker 2: Locked pecker we.
Speaker 5: Had different categories for the contents. To compete we had a,
Speaker 5: measurement where which is. Pretty straightforward that's such, A FANTASY like,
Speaker 5: I know i have fantasies of being on stage and
Speaker 5: being cumiliated in a wide variety.
Speaker 6: Of ways.
Speaker 5: Peter used my ruler to measure each of the contestants
Speaker 5: and they ranged in size from one inch to two point.
Speaker 8: One inches so my problem with this IS when i,
Speaker 8: was MEASURED because i had my, penis piercing you gave
Speaker 8: me an.
Speaker 5: Extra, INCH well i think an extra point.
Speaker 6: One inch you.
Speaker 2: Gave Me an, oh sorry, you right it's just two point,
Speaker 2: one right but that makes me the.
Speaker 5: Biggest here these are things we have, to consider as,
Speaker 5: you know, the judges we have to take everything, Into
Speaker 5: account so sorry. About it consent is a huge aspect
Speaker 5: of Our small, penis pageant making sure that everyone was
Speaker 5: comfortable and on the same page, about like are you
Speaker 5: okay with us cracking jokes about your? Small penis are
Speaker 5: you okay with us touching you to measure you? On stage,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 8: There were multiple times during the competition when, The Host,
Speaker 8: coma white would make fun of our dicks and hearing
Speaker 8: the audience kind of light up to it and knowing
Speaker 8: that they were kind of in on, the joke that's kind, of,
Speaker 8: Hot right.
Speaker 5: We, had swimwear, formal wear a, pop question and a.
Speaker 5: Talent portion the contestants were able to plan their, different
Speaker 5: outfits their, different looks and their. Different performances when it,
Speaker 5: was showtime it was all just. A blur we all,
Speaker 5: lined up, got dressed came out on.
Speaker 8: Stage and looked at the crowd and it was just
Speaker 8: a sea of smiling faces looking, at us looking down,
Speaker 8: at oatpeckers looking back up.
Speaker 9: At us my favorite contestant was the one who painted
Speaker 9: a portrait of a penis with.
Speaker 5: His penis there was contestant who had a chastity cage
Speaker 5: like ripped off of his body without it being unlocked
Speaker 5: because of how small his.
Speaker 2: Penis was just the collective gasp in the room was,
Speaker 2: pretty incredible and the.
Speaker 8: Talent portion After performing princess peepe took like the hugest
Speaker 8: hit of poppers and then she had us all look
Speaker 8: at her balls and she, goes, one two three and
Speaker 8: they go into.
Speaker 2: Her body she recently tucked without, Touching herself and after.
Speaker 8: HER performance i, TOLD her, i said you should have
Speaker 8: been disqualified because those were performance and has.
Speaker 2: Some, drunks oh oh.
Speaker 8: MY goodness i played the ukulele and did a Cover
Speaker 8: of Mine By, taylor SWIFT and i talked ABOUT how
Speaker 8: i fell in love with someone in the dark room
Speaker 8: and they loved my, small penis and he Told me
Speaker 8: i'd be his.
Speaker 2: New cuckold Do?
Speaker 3: You remembumber we were touching on the part. Of group
Speaker 3: would you take? You back she excore THE first i, Love,
Speaker 3: it pecker you have the. Smallest DAY then i.
Speaker 1: Love fuve.
Speaker 7: THAT WAS i.
Speaker 2: I was i was so afraid in. THE beginning i
Speaker 2: love how for.
Speaker 5: Most people being fearful, of me like, being naked or
Speaker 5: like talking about your small penis, on stage but you're
Speaker 5: like THE most i never saw playing the ukulele out
Speaker 5: of this portion.
Speaker 9: Of you said you were, really nervous but like everybody
Speaker 9: was so supportive and cheering, new ON and i think
Speaker 9: that really that was a whole vibe of.
Speaker 5: THE night I think i really speaks to the community
Speaker 5: that we Have At, rock bar which is such an,
Speaker 5: inclusive place and it's like it made it the perfect
Speaker 5: home for.
Speaker 6: This contest and then when it.
Speaker 8: Was time for, the crowning they have us all lined
Speaker 8: UP and i distinctly remember thinking, to MYSELF maybe i
Speaker 8: might get, the title and how nice it, would be
Speaker 8: but a lot of people had some, killer PERFORMANCES so
Speaker 8: i wasn't let down With.
Speaker 9: Roder apple the RESPONSE that i got online from it,
Speaker 9: was insane like the amount of people that would reach
Speaker 9: out to me asking how to be a part, of
Speaker 9: it and then also asking when we're going to do.
Speaker 9: ANOTHER one i still get messages to this day asking
Speaker 9: when the next.
Speaker 5: One is i'm excited to see where it might go
Speaker 5: next and how it's going to continue to grow.
Speaker 6: And evolve i'm really excited to do. It again there
Speaker 6: was so much excitement.
Speaker 2: FOR it i think the next one will be even bigger.
Speaker 6: And, better yeah and harder.
Speaker 2: And.
Speaker 4: Smaller yeah, next up it's time to hear a new
Speaker 4: cruising confession from one of our, Anonymous listeners like.
Speaker 2: Can't wait to see what they. Left us.
Speaker 6: The park, Was, Hot.
Speaker 7: OKAY so i went to the gay bar with a
Speaker 7: bunch of friends and really depressed greet friend who just
Speaker 7: broke up with. His girlfriend he was cock blocking all
Speaker 7: of us because he would walk up to everyone and
Speaker 7: BE like i just with my girlfriend and then like ruined.
Speaker 7: The move so as we were, driving home we, were
Speaker 7: like what do? You want what do? You want and
Speaker 7: we like started jerking, him off and then we propped
Speaker 7: him up in between the front seats and the back
Speaker 7: seats and like one person ate his ass while another
Speaker 7: person jerked. Him off and then my boyfriend was sitting
Speaker 7: in my lap and he like pulled down, his PANTS
Speaker 7: so i, was like it's kind of fucking him in.
Speaker 7: The ass and we were like in like a small
Speaker 7: car driving on the THREE way i think probably like the.
Speaker 2: One ten He's from la made the five with the
Speaker 2: five free Way.
Speaker 7: In california he just started laughing and it kind of,
Speaker 7: like yeah stopped him from being. So depressed and then
Speaker 7: we all went back to my boyfriend dorm room and
Speaker 7: we all had.
Speaker 6: An orgy and that's. WHAT happened.
Speaker 1: I have so. Many questions there were, so many like
Speaker 1: from the information that kept adding TO like i was like.
Speaker 6: What wait, wait, wait wait wait wait wait wait who?
Speaker 2: Was driving who? Was driving THAT'S what i want.
Speaker 4: To know that, sounds dangerous but just like the jump
Speaker 4: from like he was cock blocking everyone and now we were,
Speaker 4: fucking him you KNOW what?
Speaker 2: I mean, like WAIT what i need to know how we?
Speaker 1: Got there and like also like, they're, like oh our
Speaker 1: straight friend who just like got his ass eating in.
Speaker 6: The car, i'm like a straight from getting. His assen
Speaker 6: are you sure did you? Have Whites because?
Speaker 1: I'm concerned and then they, Said Dorms so, i'm, like
Speaker 1: okay maybe this happened. In college maybe this person was
Speaker 1: like closeted or. Like bisexual is?
Speaker 2: It? Hot yeah, like SURE yes.
Speaker 1: I would i watch a porn about a straight guy, who's,
Speaker 1: like oh, we, go friend and then it's friends tricking
Speaker 1: off In, THE yeah I have i have what tale
Speaker 1: as old?
Speaker 2: As, time baby that's That's The grimm's brother's fairy tale of. Gay,
Speaker 2: porn okay we all know. That, story yeah it's right
Speaker 2: in front of.
Speaker 6: My salad it is right in front, of me you
Speaker 6: KNOW what. I, mean yeah that, was.
Speaker 2: Amazing wonderful.
Speaker 1: Thank you if you want to hear your own cruising
Speaker 1: confession on an upcoming episode of this podcast and name
Speaker 1: the specific highway you were, driving on you can Call
Speaker 1: Her Cruising confessions hotline at three zero two two one
Speaker 1: nine three eight. Nine eight, and again if you are,
Speaker 1: not driving and if you don't have your face up,
Speaker 1: someone's ass and you do have access to a phone
Speaker 1: that you can safely, dial on that number is three zero, two, two, one, nine,
Speaker 1: three eight.
Speaker 4: Nine eight Thank you phil so much for. Stopping by
Speaker 4: uh like. So, Insightful honestly i'm really glad we had.
Speaker 1: That CONVERSATION and, i think, YOU know i think we
Speaker 1: all know that the queer people suffer from body, image
Speaker 1: issues and like penis size is the thing that we
Speaker 1: love exaggerating and. Critiquing ON but i Feel like philip
Speaker 1: kind of framed how we think about that in a very.
Speaker 2: Thoughtful way i'm going to.
Speaker 1: Make sense he teaches a class, on IT but i
Speaker 1: FEEL like i got A perspective i had not heard
Speaker 1: yet on.
Speaker 6: This TOPIC and i love this concept around.
Speaker 4: Body, Neutrality yeah like it really does reframe the Way
Speaker 4: that i'm going to be start thinking about my.
Speaker 6: Own, body YEAH because i don't need to have an opinion.
Speaker 2: On. It yeah there are a lot of things people
Speaker 2: don't need to have opinions on a lot, of. Them
Speaker 2: yep and you can start with.
Speaker 7: My, Body.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Snippy's cruising confessions is Directed By, adam barron Produced By
Speaker 1: amanda Kuper And, cameron femino and executive Produced By.
Speaker 4: Eli Martin cruising confessions is Presented By Snippy's The ultimate
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