Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
Speaker 1: talked back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in
Speaker 1: for a new episode that we talked back, A show
Speaker 1: dedicated for you niggas and these holes and everybody in
Speaker 1: but to Ween, it's your co host a J Holiday.
Speaker 1: What a hey, y'all listen me, Tim Ben I love y'all, man,
Speaker 1: I do, y'all be telling me, y'all love me back?
Speaker 1: J look a j Roe her eyes just now. I do. Hey,
Speaker 1: y'all tuning in one sucking him everybody. My weekend was lady, y'all.
Speaker 1: I went to Nashville and I participated in the Thrill
Speaker 1: of Possibilities summit hosted by Nissan on her radio and
Speaker 1: Black Effect, and I got to speak to some young
Speaker 1: bright at Bushy Tail College students on a panel about
Speaker 1: h b c U S And it was so much fun.
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it. The students looked like they enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: Everybody from Black Effect Network really had a good time.
Speaker 1: I'm so I was grateful to be a part of
Speaker 1: something so monumental in our black community. Thank you Nissan,
Speaker 1: thank you Black Effect, and thank you our Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: For having me for that. That was great. That sounds
Speaker 1: super dope. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Yeah it was great, man,
Speaker 1: it was How about your weekend? I didn't do much
Speaker 1: chill out prepare for this week that's it. Um. I
Speaker 1: really want to come to your your stock class when
Speaker 1: you hosted, I know you were doing preparing for that.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, okay, so this is what i'd be preparing
Speaker 1: for all right, So yes, y'all, and I have been
Speaker 1: meaning to mention it. Thank you for in minding me.
Speaker 1: So I have finally started putting together curriculum for my
Speaker 1: options traded and UM class. I'll put some notifications at
Speaker 1: LOOT that out soon for anybody who would like to attend.
Speaker 1: Even if you don't ever trade options, I feel like
Speaker 1: all black people should know how to trade options, especially
Speaker 1: with our declining economy. The stock marketing ain't going no where.
Speaker 1: So if you can learn how to make money on
Speaker 1: the downside of the stock market, like that's where it
Speaker 1: is at, so you still make money even if the
Speaker 1: stock market goes down with option trading. So get in there.
Speaker 1: Check it out, man, that's abuton, it's for me. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not free. And look niggas. It ain't free, you know.
Speaker 1: I just want to get compensated a little bit for
Speaker 1: my time. But for the most part, it definitely is
Speaker 1: going to be a well put together, comprehensive course, inexpensive
Speaker 1: in comparison to a lot of ship you might get
Speaker 1: charged for out here, because I have seen some programs
Speaker 1: upwards five dollars. He would be out here trying to
Speaker 1: charge people. I just want you to have the knowledge
Speaker 1: that's where my love comes from. I don't be there
Speaker 1: seeking some of that little bit. What happened is stupid
Speaker 1: internet news. Okay, so the Internet isn't a frenzy right now.
Speaker 1: You know young Miami's baby daddy. So I was I
Speaker 1: I know on Instagram he's eight or eight, my boas,
Speaker 1: but his son and friends in the class and recorded
Speaker 1: his teacher, their teacher basically saying that how he's racist. Essentially, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I did see him. It's a Texas middle school balls
Speaker 1: bowls b O h l S is that bowls whatever?
Speaker 1: Middle school? The teacher balls to the wall and they're
Speaker 1: gonna like he's on administrative leading for admitting to his
Speaker 1: very young, impressionable class that he is in fact a racist.
Speaker 1: And I was trying to, you know, listen to the
Speaker 1: discussion to understand the context in which he was saying,
Speaker 1: because there is a point where he says, I don't
Speaker 1: hate anybody. I don't. He said, I think I'm ethnocentric,
Speaker 1: and which means I do think I belong to the
Speaker 1: superior race. What do you think about that? I think
Speaker 1: what the teacher and that situation was trying to explain
Speaker 1: could have possibly, you know, he could have explained things
Speaker 1: a little bit better, but I think he would was
Speaker 1: probably trying to tell them a difference between prejudice and racism,
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit, because I think that most people
Speaker 1: are prejudiced. We do have prejudices against other groups of
Speaker 1: people that are outside of our group. That's like a
Speaker 1: real thing. We have prejudices against our own people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so especially in a time like we're in right now,
Speaker 1: right all the ship that's going on with the j
Speaker 1: community or whatever, however why we can't say it, but yeah,
Speaker 1: so with with that, it's almost like, um, and then
Speaker 1: now we're saying we're the real ones we on this
Speaker 1: earth and all that stuff. Everybody probably practices, Um, what
Speaker 1: is the word you use? Ethno centrism? Ye? I don't
Speaker 1: think that. I think everybody practices that, but nobody wants
Speaker 1: to be honest about it. Mm hmm um. I was like,
Speaker 1: what play for? I meant for the team. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: even like when we get mad when we see black
Speaker 1: men with white women, like why can't they do that
Speaker 1: without our group feeling some type of way about it.
Speaker 1: So there is the prejudice because I ain't got no man, right,
Speaker 1: if you had a man, you were feeling type of way.
Speaker 1: But that's that's really where it stems from. But I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't think that was a conversation for Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that was, you know, because a lot of adults aren't,
Speaker 1: you know, ready for that conversation. So to be having
Speaker 1: this conversation with these kids and their parents aren't present
Speaker 1: probably wasn't the best idea, you know, he would I
Speaker 1: don't know, mm hmmm, because you don't need to be
Speaker 1: sitting in the school with kids that black kids majority.
Speaker 1: It looks like the classroom was full of black kids.
Speaker 1: I saw hispanic, yeah, but for the most part it
Speaker 1: was black boys. I did see a little Hispanic boy
Speaker 1: in there, so it's probably and they were the most vocal.
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you say he didn't say he was prejudiced.
Speaker 1: He said he was racist, And it was that word
Speaker 1: that was like triggering for me, like racist, right, I
Speaker 1: don't know, he did say he was racist, you know,
Speaker 1: people adding white supremacists on top of that and all
Speaker 1: that should just have a negative connotation. But I mean,
Speaker 1: I might could be seen as a black supremacist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of black people could be seen that way.
Speaker 1: M but I don't like to put labels on stuff
Speaker 1: in that way. I'm definitely not racist. I'm definitely We're
Speaker 1: not in a position to do anything really systemically racist
Speaker 1: to another group of people at all. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I think I'm better because I'm Black. I just
Speaker 1: think I'm better and black at the same time. Period
Speaker 1: just happened to be that way. I'm sorry, and the
Speaker 1: black was just the icing on the cake of all.
Speaker 1: And who's to tell another group of people they too
Speaker 1: can't feel that same way. I feel like us being
Speaker 1: that way in America is shunned on a lot, Like
Speaker 1: you can't display black power and proud to be black
Speaker 1: without another group of people feeling like you're oppressing them,
Speaker 1: where we are not in a position to oppress any body.
Speaker 1: But you know why, I feel like white people might
Speaker 1: feel like they can't have white pride. They do. It's
Speaker 1: a whole movement right now. Yeah, Oh, you feel like
Speaker 1: there's a white white men in particular feel like they
Speaker 1: no longer have a voice in America when y'all still
Speaker 1: like literally running or are they? Because the ship we've
Speaker 1: seen in the last couple of weeks, I don't know
Speaker 1: who running, what what's happening? I don't know right, but
Speaker 1: I think that anytime going forward, black people need to
Speaker 1: look at things a little bit more objectively instead of
Speaker 1: having so much emotion. Because don't forget, like, even though
Speaker 1: it's a black person and the black kid experience, who
Speaker 1: put this ship on the internet, Like the ship stole
Speaker 1: makes its way out there to force us to have
Speaker 1: all these emotions about ship. Just sit back and be
Speaker 1: a fucking observer. So how do you feel like if
Speaker 1: a white person call you the end or with the
Speaker 1: hard e R or with the A on the end,
Speaker 1: how would you respond to anybody's saying that word to me, um,
Speaker 1: especially a white person. For sure you're gonna get smacked.
Speaker 1: I would. That's that's the derogatory word that they shouldn't
Speaker 1: not they should not use. Yes, we've found some type
Speaker 1: of way to make it a positive thing, because you
Speaker 1: gotta look at where the word actually comes from. Like
Speaker 1: some people it's niger I think that. I used to
Speaker 1: feel like you call me the N word, I'm punching
Speaker 1: your mouth right. But now I'm in a space where
Speaker 1: I'd be like, who burn Like it don't have no
Speaker 1: power over you, Like, try again, bitch, that don't hurt
Speaker 1: my feeling even the er. Yeah, I feel like it
Speaker 1: wouldn't burn me no more. I don't feel like it
Speaker 1: has that type of power. But it hasn't happened to me,
Speaker 1: so I can't speak to I might be just sitting
Speaker 1: here saying like, oh, bit, that don't affect me. It
Speaker 1: rolled off my shoulder like water, you know. Like, but
Speaker 1: I might be wrong. I might take it to your
Speaker 1: motherfucking ask just out of anybody using that. Anybody using
Speaker 1: that ere gonna be a problem for me. I've seen
Speaker 1: when Kanye was, you know, all in the news a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. I forgot who it was, but
Speaker 1: it was a celebrity. Um, but he tweeted, he said,
Speaker 1: fuck you nigger? What the er? He tweeted that, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's still like it's a black man. Don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: it is. I would not be okay with it, but
Speaker 1: I don't know if it would be powerful enough to
Speaker 1: take me to be violent towards this ignorant person. You're
Speaker 1: the real nigger, right, that's true. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm still I'm still a w P working progress. I
Speaker 1: was watching SNL. Well everybody's probably seen as SNL. Dave Chappelle, Um,
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, stand up recently, and it's I mean,
Speaker 1: it's still relevant to what we're talking about about. This
Speaker 1: teacher in Texas. He found a real comedic way to
Speaker 1: have these uncomfortable conversations. Mm hmm. He always does, but
Speaker 1: mm hmmm upset him right now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: because everything is anti semitic at this point. I Um,
Speaker 1: I saw a video where they were literally listing all
Speaker 1: the black people throughout history, you know, from Civil Rights
Speaker 1: on down that were called anti semitic. Girl everybody Oprah.
Speaker 1: Oprah was called anti semitic for having a Jewish family.
Speaker 1: Are multiple Jewish families on his show one time, and
Speaker 1: they were literally talking about how they secretly worshiped the
Speaker 1: devil in the house. She got called anti Semitic for
Speaker 1: it though, and these are Jewish people telling their truth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's wow. Uh. Day Chappelle made a joke that he said,
Speaker 1: when black people do it their gangs, When Italian do
Speaker 1: it is their mob, and when Jewish people do it,
Speaker 1: it's a coincidence. Ever, again, that's funny. I mean if
Speaker 1: a comedian, we're just so sensitive. I mean, you can't
Speaker 1: even be humorous anymore. There was a time when a
Speaker 1: comedian could like make fun of anybody and it would
Speaker 1: be okay because it's out of humor. Not anymore. They
Speaker 1: about to cancel Dave Chappelle to man, Dave Chappelle cannot
Speaker 1: be canceled. He's proven that multiple times. He just is
Speaker 1: battling the l g B d Q e O g
Speaker 1: B t Q community last year he can't be canceled.
Speaker 1: But don't y'all think it's kind of weird how we're
Speaker 1: laughing at it though? Why Kyrie and Kanye they're really
Speaker 1: going through some ship right now. But a comedian can
Speaker 1: come out and have an audience that is, you know, diverse,
Speaker 1: the diverse audience and everybody could laugh together but these
Speaker 1: two black men, Like we're laughing at it, but these
Speaker 1: two black men really going through it, the truth that
Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle is now telling. And y'all can laugh at
Speaker 1: it because it's in a him a comedy. This ship
Speaker 1: has happened to two black people. Well, all right, we're laughing,
Speaker 1: but this just happened this week, you know, this Saturday.
Speaker 1: We ain't seeing what they do today. Chappelle, he might
Speaker 1: go through it too. We're gonna see watch what happens,
Speaker 1: you know, watch what happens next. No, but why are
Speaker 1: we even gonna watch what's happening? The thing is, I
Speaker 1: feel like the only way that outside uh forces could
Speaker 1: do anything to us is if some people within our
Speaker 1: group are complicit. If everybody be like, no, y'all can't
Speaker 1: do that to him. Everybody gotta be like that, though,
Speaker 1: y'all can't do that if they come agrees, because all right,
Speaker 1: when it comes to anti Semitism, only a Jewish people
Speaker 1: can decide what's hurtful to them, right. I can't tell
Speaker 1: you that that's not a hurtful statement, or that that's
Speaker 1: you know, they can't tell you that there's Jewish people
Speaker 1: actually right now and trying to take down to a
Speaker 1: d L. That's a real thing because they are essentially
Speaker 1: extoring people at this point. Well, I mean that's similar
Speaker 1: to to black people. And and you're proving what people
Speaker 1: are saying, by the way, y'all are trying to punish them.
Speaker 1: You're proving what people are saying. You're proving the power
Speaker 1: that you have every time you come at somebody. You're
Speaker 1: proven what people with the joke is. You're proving the
Speaker 1: joke is what I'm saying. Do you see what I do?
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying? So? Yeah? So is it
Speaker 1: is it even needed? Is it necessary? Do we need
Speaker 1: a league like that? We need something? Good? Prayer? It's
Speaker 1: just not enough. Um. I also saw on Instagram that
Speaker 1: Savage said that NAS is not relevant. I know they
Speaker 1: were on a clubhouse forum and they were talking about
Speaker 1: what relevancy is and NAS is impact and it got
Speaker 1: into like a heated debate, and he says that NAS
Speaker 1: is not relevant. He only has his fan base. Do
Speaker 1: you agree with that? So? Okay, we know we're talking
Speaker 1: about two different people, two different rappers, from two different erarors. Okay,
Speaker 1: twenty one Savage came up on the mumble wrap era.
Speaker 1: I like twenty one Savage. I can tell twenty one
Speaker 1: Savage was raised by a man you know, based on
Speaker 1: his conversation. I don't think that, um so okay, So
Speaker 1: twenty one Savage. NAS may not be relevant to twenty
Speaker 1: one Savage and twenty one savages fan base, right, but
Speaker 1: NAS is definitely relevant to a lot of people, especially
Speaker 1: maybe our age group and older. And that is one
Speaker 1: of the things that twenty one Savage said. He was like,
Speaker 1: you know, if I if I were to have a
Speaker 1: concert and I came out of ninety five and I
Speaker 1: have a concert in two and all of my um
Speaker 1: fans from from came to my concert, does that really
Speaker 1: make me relevant or do I just have a strong
Speaker 1: fan base? So I get that, but relevant to who?
Speaker 1: And I feel like social media now maybe it's NAS
Speaker 1: is not relevant on social media as much as but
Speaker 1: if you have a strong fan base, that would make
Speaker 1: you relevant. These people still align right right there because
Speaker 1: they over thirty, you know. So I think because we
Speaker 1: don't see nas fhase plasid on social media all the
Speaker 1: time like we see other people, or maybe when a
Speaker 1: jay Z does something is a little bit um more profound.
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I listened to nas last album.
Speaker 1: I haven't listened to the most recent one that just
Speaker 1: came out. But that last album was a fucking hit.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, Like I still listen to it.
Speaker 1: I don't know why people ain't on it. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: just because it's not their age before, and maybe they
Speaker 1: don't like the flow anymore. I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: listened to learn things. That's why I like NAS album. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm a fan of Nas. I haven't
Speaker 1: listened to like none of his new ship. I'm illmatic,
Speaker 1: still mad, you know, all that ship. But I guess
Speaker 1: you can be relevant to forty year olds, but there's
Speaker 1: a lot of us. I mean, I know, m a
Speaker 1: R forty. I'm not That's why I said, y'all like
Speaker 1: that we're adding on to my name numbers, but not
Speaker 1: to me. NAS is relevant. Nas is so fucking fine.
Speaker 1: I like NAS, like I want to haul at NAS,
Speaker 1: but I could. I just think Nas might be like
Speaker 1: a little bit socially awkward. You don't get that from him. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know. You don't know what to know about Nas,
Speaker 1: right right? Yeah? But I mean he's in all things tech,
Speaker 1: like all the things that young boys are doing, like Crypto,
Speaker 1: all these tech things. Like NAS has all types of businesses,
Speaker 1: all types of ship to make him relevant. So it
Speaker 1: just depends on what's relevant to you. Because I don't
Speaker 1: think Nas gonna ever not be relevant, especially in hip hop, right.
Speaker 1: I don't know there's some little nigga ship, but I
Speaker 1: mean he not headlines in those shows no more. I
Speaker 1: guess that's what he's meaning. Like, do you think like
Speaker 1: these big ticket shows, Nas is not gonna be a
Speaker 1: headliner on Do you think that this new album with
Speaker 1: Drake it's kind of helping twenty one Savages career? Absolutely?
Speaker 1: Because I listened to Savage albums like I like twenty
Speaker 1: one Savage as a person, I don't necessary like his
Speaker 1: music like that. I haven't listened to the album yet,
Speaker 1: though you know I like the album. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm the target audience anymore. Because he was talking
Speaker 1: about tell me your fence to show me who you
Speaker 1: really are, and I'm like, bit, I'm too grown to
Speaker 1: have no fence to that. It's not that line was
Speaker 1: not for me, no, But you know, offenses like you
Speaker 1: got like a little secret account where you could be
Speaker 1: your cell phone. So all right, but it's it's grown.
Speaker 1: It's grown. Yeah, especially celebrities like they can't. They gotta
Speaker 1: put on this image as as a celebrity. So what
Speaker 1: are you saying is let me see that of fences,
Speaker 1: I can see the real you bitch, be yourself. These
Speaker 1: bitches don'ta being a self, so they you know, grown
Speaker 1: ass Listen, I thought Fenster was for bitches who was
Speaker 1: hiding from their mama. You hide from the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they can comment and say that ship they really
Speaker 1: be wanting to say to people. So basically, that's the
Speaker 1: first problem. If you're a grownass woman, you gotta have
Speaker 1: a fence that you need to reevaluate your life. You
Speaker 1: out here faking my page is my page. You're gonna
Speaker 1: get who I am all day and the same, the
Speaker 1: same person. Yep. I don't know. Sometimes I be wanting
Speaker 1: to say something sh it now, I wanted to be
Speaker 1: my face on it, so I can understand having offense
Speaker 1: to it. I am about to go create one. I
Speaker 1: got several accounts, but I'm not about to be uh,
Speaker 1: I just say that ship. Maybe that's a problem. Maybe
Speaker 1: I need me offense to because I just be saying
Speaker 1: whatever I want under anybody post. You don't like it,
Speaker 1: go to church about it, talk to the right all right, y'all,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to commercial. But when we come back,
Speaker 1: we have the amazing Kelvin Davis. He is the author
Speaker 1: of Notoriously Dapper. He is a man who's all about
Speaker 1: body positivity for men, and we really want to talk
Speaker 1: to him because we want you all to stop wearing
Speaker 1: them shirts in the pool. Y'all don't need them T
Speaker 1: shirts in the pool. So come back and listen to
Speaker 1: Mr Kelvin Davis so he can draw some jewels for y'all.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. We have a special guest on
Speaker 1: we talked back this week. Okay. He's an sc native
Speaker 1: and he'd be putting that ship on. Okay, we got
Speaker 1: the we got the expools it. Mr Calvin Davis, also
Speaker 1: known as a Notoriously Dapper. He's a founder and creator
Speaker 1: of Notoriously Dapper, a super body positive style guide from
Speaker 1: men of all shapes and sizes. And essentially, you are
Speaker 1: here killing it because you're like the first black, big
Speaker 1: and tall model for Gap and Target tar J. Right,
Speaker 1: y'all welcome Mr notoriously zapp until we talk back. Kelvin Davis,
Speaker 1: thank you for joining us yet, thank you guys for
Speaker 1: having me. Yeah, I'm exciting. You look good, goddamn it
Speaker 1: I do. Yeah good. You know I'm I'm sitting here
Speaker 1: in my enchanted for us, as you call it. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: being a man from South Carolina, from Columbia, South Carolina,
Speaker 1: you know that eating is like part of our culture,
Speaker 1: is like entertainment, and gaining weight is part of our culture.
Speaker 1: You know. We like we we drenched everything in butter
Speaker 1: in the South, you know. And rice rice go, Like
Speaker 1: at my mama's house, you will order a pizza and
Speaker 1: it will still be a pot of rice on that
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, I don't know. So with that being said,
Speaker 1: do you feel like men can feel like conscious about
Speaker 1: their bodies Like I feel like when we were growing up,
Speaker 1: they weren't allowed like if you gain weight and you
Speaker 1: got big or whatever, you weren't allowed to have like
Speaker 1: insecurities about your body as a man for sure. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know, I noticed when I got to high school,
Speaker 1: really was when I started to feel like a little
Speaker 1: bit of insecurity towards my body because I was surrounded
Speaker 1: by like what this societal standard of male beauty was
Speaker 1: because I like worked at Abercrombie, I worked at Like Express,
Speaker 1: I worked at all these stores in the mall. So
Speaker 1: every time, like we would put up these ads, I
Speaker 1: would be like, damn, you know, any of these dudes
Speaker 1: look anything like But there's dudes that look like me
Speaker 1: coming here all the time, they go shopping, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So and then, um, it was really
Speaker 1: around like my sophomore year of high school when I started,
Speaker 1: when I started developing a lot more stretch marks on
Speaker 1: my back and stomach. I started to, like buil a
Speaker 1: little bit insecure. But I come from a family where
Speaker 1: both were like both of my parents are very body
Speaker 1: positive and they're very much like you know, love who
Speaker 1: you are, Love the fact that you're black, love the
Speaker 1: fact that you're big, all these different things. So around
Speaker 1: like my senior gear was when I started to feel
Speaker 1: a little bit more confident in who I was. And obviously,
Speaker 1: like later on in life, you know, things changed and
Speaker 1: I started to feel insecure again. But I do feel
Speaker 1: like being a man in South Carolina, especially since our food,
Speaker 1: like you said, it's so heavily and doubtsed in our
Speaker 1: culture you know with rice and you know, grains and
Speaker 1: butter and carves and all this stuff, right and yeah, vibration. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and don't ever go to Big Mama house like trying
Speaker 1: to like turn down some stuffing or some rice because
Speaker 1: because people get affected. Right. But it's like and like,
Speaker 1: you know, God forbid you tell tell them I'm trying
Speaker 1: to watch my I'm trying to watch my weight. They'd
Speaker 1: be like boys, you mean, like that's so it was
Speaker 1: like one of those things where it's like you have
Speaker 1: to like to like because you know, like you don't
Speaker 1: want to feel like roasted, because even though you may
Speaker 1: feel like bad about about your body in that moment,
Speaker 1: they'll make you feel bad for feeling bad about your Yeah. Boy,
Speaker 1: if you don't get to sit down and eat thisse
Speaker 1: motherfucker part at bit of food on your plate either,
Speaker 1: you get roasted for that. Right. I alt talking about
Speaker 1: this blog? How did you? How did you start the blog?
Speaker 1: So the blog, y'all is notoriously dapper. How did you
Speaker 1: come up with your blog? Tell us a story about it?
Speaker 1: So I went to USC and uh I graduated with
Speaker 1: the art education with the miner in oil painting. I
Speaker 1: got my first job over at St. Andrew's Middle School,
Speaker 1: which you know, y'all probably familiar with being and from,
Speaker 1: I mean being in the Colombia area. Um So, when
Speaker 1: I got my first job, I wanted to get like
Speaker 1: some stylish clothing, you know, look fresh to death, because
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, I always get that ship up.
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't go to the store to go get
Speaker 1: like a red blazer. And I asked for a size
Speaker 1: forty eight and they only had a size forty forty
Speaker 1: two that was on mannequin, and I tried it on.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is definitely not gonna going to
Speaker 1: fit so ASTI Later I said, hey, do you do
Speaker 1: you have like a size forty eight or maybe even
Speaker 1: a forty six. She was like, no, we don't have
Speaker 1: a larger size. I said, well, can you check online,
Speaker 1: maybe checking another store. I'll drive to go get it
Speaker 1: because it was just that fresh. And then she looked
Speaker 1: me dead in my face and told me, well, maybe
Speaker 1: you're just too fat to shop. Yeah no, she was
Speaker 1: white for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like the fight though, y'all
Speaker 1: y'all went to jail, you might not even have so
Speaker 1: like after that, like that was really my first time
Speaker 1: being like publicly body saying, and I tell people that
Speaker 1: I think it hurt even more than it came from
Speaker 1: a woman, because you know, if it came from a guy,
Speaker 1: I would have took it with a grain of salt,
Speaker 1: being like whatever, like Nick Hayden, like whatever, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, But like when it comes from a woman,
Speaker 1: there's obviously a little bit of truth that's behind it.
Speaker 1: And then I started to feel like do women view
Speaker 1: me this way? Like do women that give me attractive?
Speaker 1: And you mean it's just like being like fat because
Speaker 1: I did had gained a little bit of weight at
Speaker 1: that point, and I started to feel like really insecure,
Speaker 1: and I was like, man like, I couldn't like And
Speaker 1: this was a point in time in life. I had
Speaker 1: just had my first daughter, so my daughter at the
Speaker 1: time was about a year and a half year years old.
Speaker 1: I had just gotten um and engaged to my now
Speaker 1: ex wife, and then I was just you know, I
Speaker 1: was just like feeling very down right, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't shake this feeling. So I remember going on
Speaker 1: Facebook and trying to type on status being like, man like,
Speaker 1: black men need a safe space to talk about how
Speaker 1: they feel. But then I deleted it because I knew
Speaker 1: as soon as I posted it the comment sex, it
Speaker 1: was gonna be like you saw, get your ass, go
Speaker 1: go to the gym that stop eating all this, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I knew it was gonna
Speaker 1: like it wasn't gonna be the same as if a
Speaker 1: woman didn't. Right, Like, if a woman did it, you know,
Speaker 1: other women would come on there and be like, that's
Speaker 1: so city that that happened to you, Like that woman
Speaker 1: should have never did all that. But if I were
Speaker 1: to as like a man, especially a black man, come
Speaker 1: on social media and then about that, people be like,
Speaker 1: if you don't get your ass, I mean, there's plenty
Speaker 1: of other stuff for you to worry, we'll worry about, right.
Speaker 1: So it's like y'all are not allowed to be going
Speaker 1: right exactly down because y'all hear his story. And I
Speaker 1: always say this, and I get pushed back, is it
Speaker 1: women you couldn't be vulnerable with? Or is it men
Speaker 1: that you can't be vulnerable with? Because that's the narrative
Speaker 1: is pushed, that is women that men can't be vulnerable with.
Speaker 1: But I bet you you had posted that thing maybe
Speaker 1: because this woman did do that to you in the store.
Speaker 1: But if you had posted that on your social media,
Speaker 1: I bet you you would have gotten the same response
Speaker 1: from women, and you would have gotten that negative response
Speaker 1: from men. So who can't you be ving? Is it
Speaker 1: us or your homeboys? It's definitely men for sure. I
Speaker 1: mean I feel like I mean because I mean, that
Speaker 1: just goes to show right then and there, because I
Speaker 1: was worried more about the male perspective rather than the
Speaker 1: female perspective, cause I knew females understand like body shaming,
Speaker 1: especially like they and they will understand how it feels
Speaker 1: to be insecure or to compare yourself to somebody else, right,
Speaker 1: But men, even though they do do it, they like
Speaker 1: feel like they don't want to talk about it. I'm
Speaker 1: too games to like I don't care, Like, yeah, you do,
Speaker 1: like you care about your body? Like even like to dude,
Speaker 1: what's what's what's his bad man? Kevil? Like didn't he
Speaker 1: just get like some or some something? Yeah, So it's
Speaker 1: like dudes are out there roasting him. It's like, but dude,
Speaker 1: let that dude live his life. If he was feeling
Speaker 1: some kind of way about his body and he wanted
Speaker 1: to do something to make itself feel good, let him
Speaker 1: got her homeboy right now, walk around here looking like
Speaker 1: a bad bit He got the chisel, he got his
Speaker 1: abs done, he had he got lightful. Yeah yeah, look
Speaker 1: no but she said the bad bitch. He just did
Speaker 1: what we're talking about, you know. Yeah, but he don't mind.
Speaker 1: He didn't call it bad bage, like you don't care.
Speaker 1: Like it's funny because we know that thing like the
Speaker 1: surgery and stuff is associated with bad bitches. So yeah,
Speaker 1: right yeah, because like because they're starting to call Kevo's
Speaker 1: transformation the BB man all instead of instead of the BBL,
Speaker 1: they called the BB male, which I mean, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: that's cool. But it's like a lot of men though,
Speaker 1: are like checking and like roasting this man. But it's
Speaker 1: like if you had the bread, if you had the money,
Speaker 1: and if you had the chance to do it, you
Speaker 1: probably would do it too, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: But just because you ain't getting the bread, and like,
Speaker 1: you know, like this dude out here living his best life,
Speaker 1: like you're kind of hating on him. He just got
Speaker 1: a White Lives Matter tattoo. So I don't know how
Speaker 1: much we can we will, yes, any who did he
Speaker 1: get tattooed on his body, Um, Jeff Bayes, No, no,
Speaker 1: Mark Zuckerberg, Yeah, it was Mark Zuckerberg, yes, and a
Speaker 1: white Lives Matter, White lives yes, nigga. He really I
Speaker 1: would want to hear. I want to hear whether like
Speaker 1: is it supposed to be like funny or what was
Speaker 1: the Like I don't understand the psyche behind that tattoo,
Speaker 1: Like that's too permanent to be funny, guys, okay for real?
Speaker 1: Yeah for real? Yeah? Yeah. So pretty much like after that,
Speaker 1: I wanted to start like a a a blog, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, because I always wanted to start
Speaker 1: a fashion blog because I've always been into fashion. I
Speaker 1: always was in I was always into art, so I
Speaker 1: knew how to take good pictures. I knew how to
Speaker 1: pose good. I knew what looked good in images of
Speaker 1: what did it? So I started? So I started this blog.
Speaker 1: I started in two twelve actually, and this was like
Speaker 1: be four. Instagram was like, you know, it's the thing
Speaker 1: that it is now. I created like a similar Instagram
Speaker 1: profile which I have like now, like the same one,
Speaker 1: but it was pretty much just to help promote what
Speaker 1: I was doing on my blog. Right, And it was
Speaker 1: around like around two thousand and sixteen. Really when like
Speaker 1: the women's movement got really popular and started trending, I
Speaker 1: guess like people exactly yeah, like like like the first
Speaker 1: plus sized woman for this and that. So after that,
Speaker 1: people just from a natural curiosity point started googling male
Speaker 1: body positivity. And when they did that, my blog was
Speaker 1: the first thing that came up. So just out of
Speaker 1: like societal like cure curiosity, I became this this sort
Speaker 1: of like spokesperson and leader for like male body positivity.
Speaker 1: So all right with that, I have a question. I
Speaker 1: have a question about body positivity because some would say that,
Speaker 1: you know, people are promoting unhealthy lifestyle by promoting body positivity.
Speaker 1: What do you have to say to that. I have
Speaker 1: to say that I don't necessarily agree with any of that.
Speaker 1: I feel as though if you are requiring people to
Speaker 1: be a certain size, whether it's big or small, and
Speaker 1: in order to feel good about yourself, I feel like
Speaker 1: that's unhealthy because I feel like everybody is built differently
Speaker 1: and would never weigh under like two d and thirty pounds.
Speaker 1: This is not possible. If I did, my mother would
Speaker 1: look would look at me like like the black community,
Speaker 1: let the doctor, yeah, like yeah, like she literally like,
Speaker 1: are you sick? You know what I mean. So it's
Speaker 1: like there's some people that just aren't built in that way.
Speaker 1: And there are some people that I feel like, take
Speaker 1: body positivity to the extreme and they do things for
Speaker 1: clout or they do things, uh that necessarily aren't body positive,
Speaker 1: and they try to claim it as being body positive.
Speaker 1: And I feel as though, like body positivity is for
Speaker 1: all bodies and all races, because I feel like it
Speaker 1: gets trapped in to like this curvy white woman mindset
Speaker 1: and when everybody thinks about body positive positivity, they think
Speaker 1: about a curby white woman. But it's like, why is that,
Speaker 1: like the why is that the mold for what body positivity?
Speaker 1: Because Lizzo, it should be what body positivity is to,
Speaker 1: you know, because she's very healthy. She lives a healthy lifestyle.
Speaker 1: I mean she's she can literally play play, play the flute,
Speaker 1: dads do all this stuff, and there's women that are
Speaker 1: half her size that can't even walk up again exactly,
Speaker 1: and she'd be performings for real. Yeah yeah, So let
Speaker 1: me ask you this because all right, your established black
Speaker 1: man from Columbia, South Carolina and Colombia. People might think
Speaker 1: that a South Carolina country. They can't dress. But it's
Speaker 1: a lot of flyers people coming out of South Carolina,
Speaker 1: including us here on talking right now, How did you
Speaker 1: turn this into money? How? Yeah? So so people don't.
Speaker 1: So from when I started my blog, from two thousand
Speaker 1: and twelve all the way to two thousand and seventeen,
Speaker 1: I did all this stuff for like free. I didn't
Speaker 1: get paid for anything. So I was buying my own clothes,
Speaker 1: my own ties, my own hats, everything, and I was,
Speaker 1: you know, just showing different outfits. It wasn't until I
Speaker 1: went to New York Men's Fashion Week and two thousands,
Speaker 1: like late two thousand sixteen, almost two thousand seven seventeen
Speaker 1: when I met a couple of like other mail bloggers
Speaker 1: and they were, you know, talking to me about, you know,
Speaker 1: how much money they make. And they were like, you
Speaker 1: must make tons of money because you everywhere. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't make any money and these dudes are making
Speaker 1: like six figures and I'm like, how are you guys
Speaker 1: making this kind of money? And they're like, well, whenever
Speaker 1: a brand like reaches out to you and stuff, like
Speaker 1: if they offer you free clothes and say no, they
Speaker 1: need to pay you conversation for using your for like
Speaker 1: using platform, and I'm like and I'm like, you can
Speaker 1: do that, and they're like, that's what you should be doing,
Speaker 1: Like aren't you making Like isn't this your job? I
Speaker 1: said no. I was like, I am an art teeth
Speaker 1: the teacher, Like this isn't my job. This is like
Speaker 1: a thing that I do for like fun. And they
Speaker 1: were like if you care this much about it, and
Speaker 1: you're creating this amount of content for fun, like and
Speaker 1: we everybody here thoughts like you were getting paid for
Speaker 1: this stuff because your stuff is great, like you know.
Speaker 1: So I'm like thinking, like in my head, damn, I'm
Speaker 1: not getting paid for none of this stuff. So this
Speaker 1: company reached out to me about a week after that,
Speaker 1: and then it was like a sweater brand called h
Speaker 1: Rivington based based on the Santa Barbara, California, and he
Speaker 1: wanted to send me his sweater and like me like
Speaker 1: take a few pictures of it and write and write
Speaker 1: like a blog a blog a blog post and then
Speaker 1: posted on my Instagram and Twitter, Twitter, and I was
Speaker 1: like and I was like, let me just test out
Speaker 1: the water. So I sent in my price. It was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'll do it, but for this amount. And he was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll pay you whenever you get the sweats, or just
Speaker 1: send me a picture of it saying that you got it,
Speaker 1: and then I'll send you the money. I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, day, I'm like, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like I'm thinking, I mean, I'm I'm like the middle
Speaker 1: school art teacher that's barely making like dollars a year,
Speaker 1: and this dude's about about to pay me almost for
Speaker 1: like this stuff, and I need to keep this starting yeah, winning.
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, so this is how people
Speaker 1: start to monetize this kind of stuff. So after I
Speaker 1: did that a couple of times, I did it obviously
Speaker 1: like on my own, and then like the contracts got
Speaker 1: a little more trickier and I had to like actually
Speaker 1: learn how to read them and learn how to like,
Speaker 1: you know, say you need to change this purpose to
Speaker 1: this because there was one con contract that I signed
Speaker 1: with the gene company based out of Oakland that basically,
Speaker 1: if if I wouldn't have read it and signed it,
Speaker 1: they would have like used my name and likeness all
Speaker 1: the way to two. Yeah. But I but like, you know,
Speaker 1: being like this, you know teacher, like, you know, like
Speaker 1: you're just happy to get extra money. You're just signing everything, right.
Speaker 1: So then I started to like something like it was
Speaker 1: almost like God told me. Like God, I was like,
Speaker 1: hold on, brother, slow to slow up. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: like slow down. It was like reading. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: like read this, Read this, brother. So I read it
Speaker 1: and I like send them email back. I was like, hey, yo,
Speaker 1: this doesn't sound right, like seeing y'all can use my
Speaker 1: ship into like two two thousand and seven, like two
Speaker 1: thousand seven to like, oh, it's supposed to be only
Speaker 1: for two thousand and seventeen. I say, ain't no way,
Speaker 1: y'all missed the one in the two ain't no way perfect? Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: So then they sent it back. I signed it and
Speaker 1: then I like did it. And then around two thousand
Speaker 1: and seventeen, and in the beginning of that school year,
Speaker 1: so the two thousand and seventeen eighteen school year was
Speaker 1: my last year teeth the teaching. I signed with Bridge
Speaker 1: Models and two thousand seventeen, and then a week after
Speaker 1: I signed with them, Target and booked me as their
Speaker 1: first like big and tall male black male model, and
Speaker 1: I went to I went to New York and did
Speaker 1: it and it was awesome. And then I come back.
Speaker 1: You know, it was really strange for me at first
Speaker 1: because I'm still a tech teacher. I'm still teaching these
Speaker 1: badass kids like that don't give a funk about anything
Speaker 1: that I have to say or do. They're like Mr
Speaker 1: David is looking like, you know, saying like they are seriously,
Speaker 1: like they were always on the ask, like they were
Speaker 1: always on me right always, I know, like they were
Speaker 1: always roast me. So I was like, I go from
Speaker 1: like being this like yeah, like the celebrated black male
Speaker 1: like Target model, this and that, and then I leave
Speaker 1: and come back to the castroom when they like you
Speaker 1: ball head up, I'm like, come on, y'all. And then
Speaker 1: around around like around Thanksgiving was when a lot of
Speaker 1: my students started to see some of my ads and
Speaker 1: they started to like be like, you know, Mr Davis, uh,
Speaker 1: do you have like another job or something. I was
Speaker 1: like no. And then like this girl one day she
Speaker 1: had like a Target catalog come to her house and
Speaker 1: she brought it in the classroom. Was like, y'all, look
Speaker 1: at Mr milk dud up in Target Target and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I told them I lied to him and told
Speaker 1: them that I had I had a twin brother. So
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, ship, like you got a twin brother.
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, his like his name is Kevin. Like
Speaker 1: we looked just like obviously because we're twins, but that's
Speaker 1: not me and they and they're all like, oh damn okay.
Speaker 1: So around like around like March of two eighteen, I
Speaker 1: was about to like it was two months before I
Speaker 1: didn't sign my contract to come back. One of my
Speaker 1: sixth traders was like, yo, Mr Davids, so we like
Speaker 1: follow you on Instagram, right, and every time that like
Speaker 1: you're gone here, we noticed that, like your twin has
Speaker 1: gone too, like your twin is like wherever you are,
Speaker 1: but y'all never posted pictures together. All right, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you know what, that dude don't make a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: And he was like, so we all came up with
Speaker 1: the conclusion that you don't have a twin brother, and
Speaker 1: that's and that's been you the whole time. I said, yeah,
Speaker 1: come out, yeah yeah. And as much as they roasted me,
Speaker 1: they also like loved me, right, yeah, like love loved me.
Speaker 1: So whatever I was thinking about, quit quit quitting, I
Speaker 1: would ask them. I asked him around April. I was like, look, y'all,
Speaker 1: I'll think about not coming back. You know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: miss some of y'all. Some of y'all, man, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, right? And they were like, Yo, Mr Davids,
Speaker 1: you always tell us to go after our dreams, so
Speaker 1: why wouldn't we encourage you to go after yours. It's like,
Speaker 1: what from reading me? You know what I mean? But
Speaker 1: then I was like wow. I was like, and that
Speaker 1: really meant a lot to me to hear six seventh
Speaker 1: and eighth eighth graders, girl, we want to see you
Speaker 1: with like, we want to see you represent all the
Speaker 1: stuff that you've been teaching us and all the things
Speaker 1: that you've brought us to do, and all the confidence
Speaker 1: you've given us. Because I was like everybody's favorite teeth
Speaker 1: the teacher. Everybody would come. Man. I would literally have
Speaker 1: kids skip class to come to art. Like, they wouldn't
Speaker 1: leave Jim. I'm like, who doesn't want to play basketball?
Speaker 1: They would leave Jim and come to be and in
Speaker 1: my art class. I like, you ain't supposed to be
Speaker 1: up in here. They like, Yo, just just let me
Speaker 1: hang out for like an hour. I'm a class only minutes, right,
Speaker 1: and it's still kind of like Jim because I'm making
Speaker 1: a paper mache basketball, you know. So you know, in
Speaker 1: the past, um men didn't I guess really until your blog,
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, or until you this personality
Speaker 1: now didn't have like real life representation for different body types,
Speaker 1: not as much as women do. So do you think
Speaker 1: that social media kind of help with that? Do you
Speaker 1: think social media played a big role in now men
Speaker 1: being able to do some of the things that women do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course, yeah, I absolutely do, because I feel like
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for social media, a I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: as known as I am. And a lot of people,
Speaker 1: like a lot of men that uh follow me on like,
Speaker 1: you know, look at my look at my stuff. It's
Speaker 1: because they see not only the positive interactions that I
Speaker 1: have with women, but also with men, and they're like,
Speaker 1: if this dude could be like as vulnerable as he
Speaker 1: is on so social media, be you know, feminist and
Speaker 1: be pro all this stuff and still be a man,
Speaker 1: Like I could do this too, Like there's no reason
Speaker 1: for me to hide underneath the shell of quote unquote
Speaker 1: black and masculinity. Like nah, Like I don't want to
Speaker 1: be that way, because that's this and that. Like my
Speaker 1: daddy told me nine not not to be soft. My
Speaker 1: mama told me that boys don't cry, but I'm like
Speaker 1: as black men, and I honestly did. Didn't even start
Speaker 1: going to therapy until I got divorced. In you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, I was like, I need to go
Speaker 1: see somebody because I'm about the like I'm about to
Speaker 1: lose my motherfucking mind. Like I literally was like literally
Speaker 1: going crazy. I felt like, you know, so, I like
Speaker 1: encourage not only men to love who they are as
Speaker 1: far as body wise, but to also take care of
Speaker 1: their mentals. Because you can work out and be as
Speaker 1: physically healthy as you want to, but if you don't
Speaker 1: work on that mind, if you brain that body, do
Speaker 1: mean nothing. Like you can have the biggest arms, the
Speaker 1: nicest body, or you can feel as body confident as
Speaker 1: you want to, but if your mentals are not right,
Speaker 1: like if you are narcissistic you treat women back gas
Speaker 1: like you are not yeah, like you are not a
Speaker 1: good guy. Like you can look as good as you
Speaker 1: want to, but if you don't treat people nice, it's
Speaker 1: not great. And I live by I live by this motto.
Speaker 1: It's nice to be important, but it's most but it's
Speaker 1: more important to be nice. And I really I live
Speaker 1: by that in my everyday life because it's like it's
Speaker 1: nice for me to be important to people and people
Speaker 1: be like, you know, Kelvin is doing the stuff. I
Speaker 1: love it. I love to see it, but it's more
Speaker 1: important for me to be nice to other people and
Speaker 1: to like show other black men love. Very adamant a
Speaker 1: gentleman if you're just a whole asshole out here, yeah,
Speaker 1: like you have tips to be the modern gentleman and
Speaker 1: that sounds like one of them. Do you have any
Speaker 1: others that you could just share with us, Like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. Um so for so those listening, I do
Speaker 1: have a book. It was a Image Award nominated book.
Speaker 1: You know, yes, I was nominated for Most Outstanding Literature
Speaker 1: two seventeen, but I lost the Oprah shout out to Oprah.
Speaker 1: If if you lose to anybody, let it be O. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I tell man that you have to be you
Speaker 1: have to define what a man is for you, right,
Speaker 1: and if being a man for you is being gangster
Speaker 1: and you know, doing all this stuff and bad mouthing
Speaker 1: people and living a lifestyle that necessarily could get you
Speaker 1: in a lot of trouble or could hurt people around
Speaker 1: you or even hurt yourself. You're not really a gentleman.
Speaker 1: I mean you, I mean you can dress like a gentleman,
Speaker 1: and I like, start off. I started. I started off
Speaker 1: by telling people that, you know, a gentleman back in
Speaker 1: the nineteen twenties could be a guy that could wear
Speaker 1: a certain tie and still beat his wife, be racist.
Speaker 1: Uh like hang peeple people be he could even be
Speaker 1: as far as go and be a part of a
Speaker 1: clan meeting and still be considered a gentleman. Right, So
Speaker 1: I write this in my book, and I'm like, we
Speaker 1: need to redefine what a gentleman is because all these
Speaker 1: men out here just thinking it's about dressing, because it's
Speaker 1: like because like yeah, because like you can dress nice
Speaker 1: and then take a woman out on a date and
Speaker 1: then you know you'd be nice to her until she
Speaker 1: doesn't give you what you want, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you turn into somebody that you never even
Speaker 1: be out and it's like, look like, who the funk
Speaker 1: are you? Like, first of all, that's somebody's daughter, Like
Speaker 1: that's somebody's like that's somebody's everything, and you don't talking
Speaker 1: to people like they don't have no sense because you
Speaker 1: brought them crab leggs. Like you know what I'm saying
Speaker 1: it seriously like yeah, like these dudes really be out here,
Speaker 1: like be like, oh I bought this girl. I'm like, okay, thinking,
Speaker 1: well next time, don't buy if you like we need
Speaker 1: pulling up. Yeah, all the crabs yeah right, I mean,
Speaker 1: thank you for the crab leggs, but don't act like
Speaker 1: I owe you something because they want you want you
Speaker 1: to pay him pussy exactly. Yeah. And it's like, dude,
Speaker 1: like she can pay you in conversation, she can pay
Speaker 1: you on other forums. And how do you not know
Speaker 1: that if you go out somewhere else, like like if
Speaker 1: you go out on another day, she might pick up
Speaker 1: the text, right, you know what I mean. It's very
Speaker 1: transactional in that one, you know, and breakfast and holidays
Speaker 1: I got you, breakfast, and birthdays I got, I got
Speaker 1: that ship, I got lets. I'm not about to just
Speaker 1: be going to my pocketbook on the date. No, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel you honestly sometimes I will. I have because
Speaker 1: especially if I had sensed from the person that you
Speaker 1: think I told you, like I gotta pay you back
Speaker 1: and put you tonight. I might go ahead and pay
Speaker 1: for it and I just want to talk to you
Speaker 1: no more. But yeah, I would be Yeah, sometimes I
Speaker 1: do it just because I feel like being nice, you know, honestly,
Speaker 1: not like a typically not a first day I'll pay,
Speaker 1: but I might. Let's say we go out, and I'd
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, I got it this time.
Speaker 1: So I was married for ten years, so I haven't dated.
Speaker 1: I mean, so what now? Zero stars would not recommend ghetto. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's definitely hard. It's a different world because sometimes, you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of men do treat it very transactional, like
Speaker 1: especially if they go take you to a nice place
Speaker 1: and the tab is expensive, they do feel like, you know, damn,
Speaker 1: I showed you this nice time, show me a nice
Speaker 1: time back, and it's like, damn, I thought I was
Speaker 1: telling all my best jokes, right we had. I thought
Speaker 1: we both had a good time. Why do you need
Speaker 1: to come up to my house at this point? Like,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I don't know if it's the
Speaker 1: young girls, And y'all can correct me young ladies if
Speaker 1: you're wrong, But y'all, it's giving up the pussy fact,
Speaker 1: like y'all really the game. So it's like people think
Speaker 1: that that is what it's supposed to happen now, like
Speaker 1: you need to sleep with someone instantly after going on
Speaker 1: the date. I think I think most men, if the
Speaker 1: problem is their coin, right, they don't want to feel
Speaker 1: like they're getting finessed. But you don't. Why are you dating?
Speaker 1: Are taking ten different women out in a month? You know,
Speaker 1: pick a couple and then it won't hurt your pocket
Speaker 1: that much because what they're concerned about is how much
Speaker 1: they spent on you. Right, So now you're not giving
Speaker 1: up nothing out that spent all my money, but date
Speaker 1: with discernment, date with purpose, and you won't feel like
Speaker 1: you get in finesse. You won't be taking all these
Speaker 1: different people out because they everybody shouldn't be worthy of
Speaker 1: your coin. But if your goal at the end of
Speaker 1: every date is to get pussy, that's why they're mad, right,
Speaker 1: And then aren't their websites exactly to those grinders and
Speaker 1: all these all these different ways want regular women? Right? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like it's like the same dude that like don't
Speaker 1: want a respective woman whenever she gives it up and
Speaker 1: it's like I can never wife her out. But it's like, dude,
Speaker 1: you live like a double Standard's like, do you want
Speaker 1: to take this woman out on a day and get
Speaker 1: to know who she is and you can eventually see
Speaker 1: her as a potential partner? Are you just trying to
Speaker 1: get some If that's the case, then you don't need
Speaker 1: to take nobody out on the date. I had a
Speaker 1: guy tell me over the weekend that out of sixty women,
Speaker 1: fifty seven of the women that he dated was just
Speaker 1: for sex. And maybe what potential I got, I got
Speaker 1: to get my glances off of that. Hold on, hold
Speaker 1: I did. I really clashed my pearls. I was like,
Speaker 1: why are you telling you a group of women? And
Speaker 1: he said that was common for most men, that typically
Speaker 1: it's just about the hunt, and maybe two or three
Speaker 1: of the women that they date in their life is
Speaker 1: really for real relationship and everybody else is just about,
Speaker 1: you know, a man's desire to have sexual relationship with
Speaker 1: someone and that's it. I can see that from some
Speaker 1: men's point of view, but I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of those men need to go to therapy, Like I
Speaker 1: honestly say, the therapy, like and I know in the
Speaker 1: black community is like look down upon us, like we
Speaker 1: don't go to therapy, like praying about it, Like that's
Speaker 1: what my grandma used to Amos say, pray by the baby,
Speaker 1: pray yeah about But I'm like sometimes got busy, you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes got busy sometimes God like you need to go
Speaker 1: you mean, you need to go to somebody else for you,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So therapy for me has
Speaker 1: really and I and I really encouraged not only all men,
Speaker 1: but especially black men to actually go because it's I mean,
Speaker 1: for me, the recent like trauma with black men being
Speaker 1: killed by the cops and Takeoff staff really arnestly, really
Speaker 1: like really hurt me a lot. Like I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: lie like a lot of like a lot of the
Speaker 1: other rappers downs, you know, like you know, didn't bother
Speaker 1: me as much because you know, I wasn't allowed for PAULK.
Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed for Biggie, you know. I mean, I
Speaker 1: was alive, but I didn't know who they were, Like
Speaker 1: I wasn't a teenager. I wasn't do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? But take Off in the medias to me,
Speaker 1: it was like everything It's like that's what all my
Speaker 1: students would listen to and like we will always play
Speaker 1: stir Fry in the classroom like we would like you know.
Speaker 1: It's like whenever he passed to me, it really really
Speaker 1: hurt it, really it really did. And I I really
Speaker 1: I like craft like a couple of hours because I
Speaker 1: was really hurt. And I feel like a lot of
Speaker 1: black men don't want to talk about that, Like they
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about how some something like that
Speaker 1: can hurt them. Yeah, because you know, we look at George,
Speaker 1: look at all these things, and it does hurt us.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like black men are comfortable talking about
Speaker 1: any pain, you know, any kind of pain, especially emotional.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think y'all are. No, You're right,
Speaker 1: like especially I mean, I have a cousin who's pretty
Speaker 1: much like my brother because his mom, you know, like
Speaker 1: didn't do her thing, you know, raised them and stuff.
Speaker 1: So my parents raised them and we're like brothers. And
Speaker 1: he just recently started going to my therapy therapist about
Speaker 1: six months ago, but he was but he was like
Speaker 1: the same kind of guy, like you're always sucking this
Speaker 1: and sucking that and doing this and doing that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you need to combat, like you need to you really
Speaker 1: need to unpack what's really feeling, like how you really
Speaker 1: feel about things, because emotional intelligence will change who you
Speaker 1: are because once you can realize that you're not angry,
Speaker 1: that you have anxiety instead of being angry, or that
Speaker 1: you're nervous instead of being angry. Because for me, it
Speaker 1: was like all these emotions were to me anger because
Speaker 1: I would just feel some kind of like I'm angry.
Speaker 1: It was either anger or sad. I didn't realize that anxiety, nervousness,
Speaker 1: and depression like all these different aspects of like yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah a lot of times, yeah, like I would just
Speaker 1: be mad. I'd be like, wait, but I'm really feeling nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm really feeling nervous about this outcome. I'm not really
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be angry, you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So with the blog, because I know we talked, we
Speaker 1: mentioned like toxic masculinity briefly, so I I wouldn't he
Speaker 1: a blog is a really really nice blog. I suggest
Speaker 1: everybody to go check out the kids really nice. You know,
Speaker 1: it tells you like ship, the pack and all. It's
Speaker 1: all kind of like mentally things we're talking about, Like
Speaker 1: I just saw some information about ancne and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: because maybe my nephew just started day school and over
Speaker 1: the summertime, I'm like, listen, I'm gonna saying you some
Speaker 1: stuff because he had really bad acne and like, you
Speaker 1: don't want to go into high school with that. Like
Speaker 1: I I possibly could have been a little mean girl
Speaker 1: a little bit in school, but it was just like
Speaker 1: the thing, but I wanted to make sure. I wanted
Speaker 1: to make sure, like, you know, he cleans up age.
Speaker 1: It was roasting the stand up comedy for that ass. Okay, people,
Speaker 1: just I just you know, my ship hit a little
Speaker 1: bit harder. It's just different. But yeah, I sent him
Speaker 1: like some you know, some products to make sure he
Speaker 1: can start working on the skin. My sister ended up
Speaker 1: taking them to a dermatologist though, But y'all check out
Speaker 1: the website. But let's talk about check out his box.
Speaker 1: But let's talk about the toxic um masculinity for a second,
Speaker 1: because did anybody actually ever tell you that you couldn't
Speaker 1: express your feelings? But I know people say that, oh,
Speaker 1: my teacher did this, They rap about it. My teacher
Speaker 1: told me I wasn't gonna be shipped. Does that really happened.
Speaker 1: So how did how is it really developed? Yeah? So
Speaker 1: I would say luckily for me, both of my parents
Speaker 1: have never done that. They've always been very much like
Speaker 1: express how you feel, see how you feel, It's okay
Speaker 1: to cry, like all these things. Right. It was more
Speaker 1: of like the outside society like teachers, friends, uh, counselors,
Speaker 1: like you know, the people that watched me at daycare,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean that would tell me boys
Speaker 1: don't cry like man, not for you know, I had
Speaker 1: I honestly, So this is a funny story. So at RMO,
Speaker 1: I had a guidance counselor and she was my freshman
Speaker 1: year guidance counselor counselor. And I'm not gonna live like
Speaker 1: seventh and eighth grade. I was sucking around like I did.
Speaker 1: I made terrible grades. I was like, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie to you. I just wanted to possibly
Speaker 1: I was trying to find out how to have sex.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I was like I was really
Speaker 1: out there, like exploring sexuality. I was just a horn dog, right,
Speaker 1: So I was not focused in school in any kind
Speaker 1: of way. So my freshman year, you know, we like
Speaker 1: get there and like the ladies going over my transcript
Speaker 1: from ERMO Middle and she's like, like the dog. She's like,
Speaker 1: you need to be in these classes because you know
Speaker 1: your grades were terror bol so obviously you know you're
Speaker 1: very much under performing and you cannot be in these
Speaker 1: great level classes. I'm like, but I'm smart, I could
Speaker 1: do whatever I want to. I'm just horning, okay, right,
Speaker 1: you know. So I'm like, so I'm sitting like these classes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm like in these classes, like I'm like, I
Speaker 1: know all this stuff. I'm like surpassed this, right, So
Speaker 1: I'm doing like this lower level work knowing that you
Speaker 1: know this stuff is like elementary to me. And I
Speaker 1: went back to her and I was like, yo, I
Speaker 1: think I need to be bumped out to other classes
Speaker 1: like this stuff. This is way too easy. Like I
Speaker 1: need algebra, neied geometry, I need other stuff. And she's like,
Speaker 1: you know, you're lucky. I I I basically even put
Speaker 1: you in these classes because I was about to call
Speaker 1: her momental and tell them to retain you another year.
Speaker 1: It's excuse me. She was like, you would be lucky.
Speaker 1: If you ever make it to a four year institution,
Speaker 1: you'll be lucky if you ever make it high school. Right.
Speaker 1: So I go home, like, Mama, She's like, well, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you don't believe what the lady told me. She's like what,
Speaker 1: I'm like, this lady told me I'll be barely like
Speaker 1: I'll be lucky at if I even make it out
Speaker 1: of high school. And my mom was like, whoa god damn.
Speaker 1: So you know my mom, when up there, we had
Speaker 1: a conversate, say say station, and this lady was so
Speaker 1: bold she said the same thing in front of my mama.
Speaker 1: She didn't even back down. She looked at my mama said,
Speaker 1: Mrs Davis, I'm gonna be honest with you, I will
Speaker 1: be very shocked if your son ever makes it out
Speaker 1: of high school. The way his grades look, the way
Speaker 1: he came in here, entered. I mean, it's almost like
Speaker 1: he it's almost like he takes everything as a joke,
Speaker 1: this and that. Right, So fast forward, right, I get
Speaker 1: my first teaching job, and guess who the guidance counseling
Speaker 1: the same lady. The same lady I would have been
Speaker 1: trying to get her as out of that. So I
Speaker 1: didn't notice her until about the third week of school,
Speaker 1: and I was looking at it because you know, like
Speaker 1: time had changed. She got a little older and stopped
Speaker 1: and I was like, are you missed such and such?
Speaker 1: She was like yeah. I was like, probably don't remember me.
Speaker 1: I was like, you used to be a guy guy
Speaker 1: guy discussed at IRMO, right. She was like yeah, I said,
Speaker 1: you probably don't remember me because I was thinking that
Speaker 1: she probably said this to like a lot of kids, right,
Speaker 1: And I was like, you told me that I would
Speaker 1: be lucky if I even made it out of high
Speaker 1: school and this and that, and she was like, I
Speaker 1: do remember you. I said, well, not only did I
Speaker 1: make it out of high school, I made it through
Speaker 1: college and I'm here teaching art. And she was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: really you know what I mean. And it was like
Speaker 1: and it was like one of one of those moments
Speaker 1: for her, like I cannot continue saying this stuff. Two kids,
Speaker 1: I can continue, yeah, and parents, right, like I cannot
Speaker 1: continue doing this because I have this exquisite college graduate
Speaker 1: of a black man here teaching the same kids that
Speaker 1: come to me for counseling. And I with him. He
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna be shipped that and didn't imagine how many
Speaker 1: other people that she told that to that, right, yeah,
Speaker 1: And imagine how many students believed it, oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah plenty. But for me, I luckily have parents
Speaker 1: that were like, you can do whatever you want to
Speaker 1: and I have parents that always told me go after
Speaker 1: whatever you want to write, because I had like a
Speaker 1: lot of kids whose parents were like, if you want
Speaker 1: to go to school for art or fashion, I'm not
Speaker 1: paying for it. Ain't no black man going going going
Speaker 1: to be an artist and this and that, like you
Speaker 1: need to play sports and all this stuff. Right. So
Speaker 1: for me, I was lucky enough to have parents that
Speaker 1: really disembraced who I was as a part of the
Speaker 1: person and did not try to mold me into what
Speaker 1: society or what they think I should be. Right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: was this woman black or white? She was black? It
Speaker 1: was a yeah, man, I know right now kind of
Speaker 1: figured she was black, And she probably felt saying that
Speaker 1: to you. And that's why she felt comfortable saying it
Speaker 1: to your mom, because it's like saying it yeah in
Speaker 1: her mind, it's like, yeah, you can't tell right, don't
Speaker 1: do that, yeah, right, as counselor is supposed to guide
Speaker 1: give hope to these kids, exactly, Yeah, you're sucking out now,
Speaker 1: but you can't be better, you know exactly? Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: And like she never once told me. It's like, if
Speaker 1: you try a little harder and get this grade, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll bump you up. She was basically like, nah, you
Speaker 1: ain't it. You'd be lucky if you even make it
Speaker 1: to you know what I mean. And it was around
Speaker 1: my junior year was when she left, so she never
Speaker 1: got to see me graduate because I feel like if
Speaker 1: she was still there whenever I graduated, she might have,
Speaker 1: you know, said something to me and been like, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to you know, but I never I never
Speaker 1: saw her again until I became a teacher. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I felt like that was God's plan and so kind
Speaker 1: of way. Well, so what for now? What is the
Speaker 1: modern gentleman? Now? The modern gentleman to me as somebody
Speaker 1: that is so I tell people that you you don't
Speaker 1: have to agree with what everybody does, right. You can
Speaker 1: have your own views and your own way of how
Speaker 1: you were raising your own morals. It's okay to not
Speaker 1: agree with everything that the world presents to you and
Speaker 1: tells you that you're supposed to be okay with. But
Speaker 1: the modern gentleman just understands that even though people don't
Speaker 1: necessarily agree with everything that the same morals, because you know,
Speaker 1: you can be you cannot agree with gay marriage and
Speaker 1: not be homophobus right, Like there's a line, right like,
Speaker 1: you can like, you can believe that marriage supposed to
Speaker 1: be between this and then, but you don't have to
Speaker 1: be homophobic and be angry and transfer that energy in
Speaker 1: a negative way and tell people how they should live
Speaker 1: and be nasty. Right. You can have your own beliefs
Speaker 1: and agreed to disagree, but live your own life, right,
Speaker 1: And that's what I feel like. Being a gentleman is
Speaker 1: a modern one is it is understanding that I feel
Speaker 1: this way, but I can also understand how this person
Speaker 1: feels this way. And I'm not mad because I do
Speaker 1: what's best for me and they do what's best for them.
Speaker 1: But I don't think the modern gentleman should be transphobic, homophobic,
Speaker 1: anti feminist, anti man. Like you shouldn't hate any group
Speaker 1: of people, you know what I mean? You should you like,
Speaker 1: you should look at them like I wouldn't do that,
Speaker 1: And you know, if it was up to me, as
Speaker 1: somebody did that to me, it might be something different,
Speaker 1: you you know what I mean? Like There's been plenty
Speaker 1: of times where you know, I am a modern gym gentleman.
Speaker 1: I do conduct myself as such, but I will not
Speaker 1: tolerate disrespect, especially and in public place. You know. So
Speaker 1: if anybody were to ever, you know, try to use
Speaker 1: intimidation or try to use or try to you know,
Speaker 1: racially attack me, it's game time. Yeah, yeah, like it's
Speaker 1: game time. So I don't want people to think that
Speaker 1: the modern gentleman is like this soft man that disagrees
Speaker 1: for everybody, because hey, modern gentleman agrees and disagrees and
Speaker 1: understands and loves people and respects people's opinions, but he
Speaker 1: also does not tolerate disrespect. He also protects what's important
Speaker 1: to him. And if violence were to ever be the
Speaker 1: ultimate outcome, that's just what it has to be. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because I always conduct myself as such. But if I'm
Speaker 1: with both of my daughters and somebody disrespects my oldest daughter,
Speaker 1: who's in middle school but she looks like she's in
Speaker 1: a high cool somebody says something to her that's disrespectful,
Speaker 1: do you really think as her father, I'm going to say, listen, man,
Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from. We're gonna talk like that. No,
Speaker 1: who are you talking to? Brad's game time? Don't you
Speaker 1: ever talk to my kids and my way ever? Again?
Speaker 1: She is not only a female that is my daughter,
Speaker 1: She's a Lebritears. Oh, are you trying to get sucked up? Right?
Speaker 1: I think a lot of you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of time people only respect the
Speaker 1: people that they know and love. That's why it's so
Speaker 1: easy to go about and disrespect somebody else's mom, sister,
Speaker 1: daughter exactly. But if we look at all black people
Speaker 1: like that's my sister, you know, maybe get the rid
Speaker 1: of the word nigga and this replace it with brother
Speaker 1: and sister for real, because it just gives this different
Speaker 1: thing internally for us my sister. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I have embraced not nigger, nigga in a way that
Speaker 1: it's like it's determining of endearment from me. When I'm
Speaker 1: amongst black people, I feel yeah, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean definitely when I'm with other black people people
Speaker 1: I say nigga all the time. I mean, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna cat I say, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 1: I'd be like nigga, please, like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But like if I'm like, if I'm in a public space,
Speaker 1: I am more cautious of how I use that. And
Speaker 1: I do call people brother like whenever I see like
Speaker 1: another like guy, but like your brother. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like brother, right, Yeah, But it's like for me,
Speaker 1: like the modern gentleman has to always be you always
Speaker 1: have to be kind no matter where you are, Like
Speaker 1: your initial thought process is, no matter how I'm feeling,
Speaker 1: somebody else is probably dealing with worse right and you
Speaker 1: And whenever you leave your bubble, whenever you leave your car,
Speaker 1: wherever you leave your house, you not You not only
Speaker 1: have to be on guard, but you have to be
Speaker 1: kind to everybody else around because it could just take
Speaker 1: one thing for you to be in a bad mood
Speaker 1: and you not and you bump into somebody and you
Speaker 1: have words, and that could be the end of that
Speaker 1: could be the end of your life. Dude. And I
Speaker 1: think about this a lot. I'm like, do I do
Speaker 1: Do I really want my daughter daughters to not have
Speaker 1: a dad because somebody cut you off? Somebody? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: like small things like that you should like you should,
Speaker 1: but let it go because chances of you seeing that
Speaker 1: person again and in traffic very unlikely. But it's no
Speaker 1: really easy way to say this. Alright, So we have
Speaker 1: this segment on our show called SIMP Series. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: so we want you to share with us a tale
Speaker 1: of when you got played by a woman, Like what happened?
Speaker 1: Oh oh Jesus, okay, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, Um,
Speaker 1: so in college I definitely got it played. So I
Speaker 1: was dating this girl. Uh, she was from Russia. So
Speaker 1: there was like a little bit of like a language barrier,
Speaker 1: like a little bit a small one. Like she was
Speaker 1: like she had just come come from Russia but maybe
Speaker 1: a year in a year into the States, and she
Speaker 1: was a little fluid in like English, but like she
Speaker 1: was getting better and stuff, right, Like there was still
Speaker 1: certain terms that she didn't understand and stuff. Right, So
Speaker 1: there was there's sometimes I put the fact that she
Speaker 1: played me on the language barrier, But that ship wasn't
Speaker 1: it that that did do what she was doing round
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like she knew what she
Speaker 1: was doing, right. So I dated her for about a
Speaker 1: year and a half and during the time I was
Speaker 1: dating her, you know, um, we will always eat lunch
Speaker 1: at the US Rush Russell House, which if you are
Speaker 1: you are you familiar with? Yeah, So we always eat
Speaker 1: lunch there, right, And she was always very particular about
Speaker 1: a certain time that like we had to eat because
Speaker 1: she had class. Right, I'm all right, all right, so
Speaker 1: we can go there, right. So we go there and
Speaker 1: we eat, and she said, all right, I have to go.
Speaker 1: I I got to go to class. Da da dada. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm okay, Well I'm gonna finish up here. And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: how long are you gonna be How long are you
Speaker 1: gonna be here? Because don't you have to go to
Speaker 1: your to your class? To him, like why is she
Speaker 1: suppressed about what I'm gonna do? Like she has to
Speaker 1: go to class, right. So I'm sitting there eating and
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking anything about it because I actually believe
Speaker 1: that she's in class, right, Like I believe she's like
Speaker 1: really in class. So I go to mick Master to
Speaker 1: my art class, and my art professor had to cancel class.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, all right, I'll just go walk around
Speaker 1: campus for a little bit blay some time and tell
Speaker 1: him and tell my other class starts and I go
Speaker 1: on the horse shoe and I see this girl on
Speaker 1: a blanket on the horse shoe on top of a
Speaker 1: man kissing him. Right, So I'm like looking at the thing,
Speaker 1: I'm like, is that now, I'm like sitting on the core.
Speaker 1: I'm like no, she says she had class, that can't
Speaker 1: be her, right, So I text her right, sister her right,
Speaker 1: And then I watched her look at the phone and
Speaker 1: she puts it up. I'm like, I'm like, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: it really really did. Right. So at that point, you know,
Speaker 1: most guys would have went up to her confronted her
Speaker 1: then and there. Right, I was like, let me see
Speaker 1: if I asked her about it what she says, right,
Speaker 1: Because I just want to see a secul lote of me.
Speaker 1: Obviously I don't seeing a lot of me, But what
Speaker 1: is she going to actually tell me? Right? Because I
Speaker 1: was just curious of where her mindset was going to
Speaker 1: actually be. So later on she texted me like nine
Speaker 1: something that night was like, oh my god, has been
Speaker 1: such a busy day. I'm like, okay, yeah, I bet
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm like, so, how is
Speaker 1: your class? She was like it was great, Like I
Speaker 1: got so much work I have to do. Listen that
Speaker 1: I said, were you at the Horse Shoe today, like
Speaker 1: during like after you know, after we had lunch. She
Speaker 1: was like horsehoe. I said, like question Mark like questioned me,
Speaker 1: like horseho cors Mark said yes. I'm like I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: the horse Shoe, like the place that has grassed that
Speaker 1: you like hang out with the stuff. And she's like
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no right. So I'm like I call her, right,
Speaker 1: I call her immediately. I'm like, she's like, what's wrong?
Speaker 1: I said, Natalie, listen. I was like, I saw you
Speaker 1: at the Horse Shoe on a Blake card with another
Speaker 1: dude and she's like no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that was you, And I like I
Speaker 1: felt so play because it's like she met all of
Speaker 1: my roommates, my friends, and it's like I gotta tell
Speaker 1: my friends, like bro. Girl was like yeah. I was
Speaker 1: like whoa. I was like, girl was really out here
Speaker 1: like dogging me, like she really out here, like you're
Speaker 1: me wrong? You know. I glad it wasn't a white woman.
Speaker 1: I did it, yeah, and honestly, like honestly, like luckily
Speaker 1: for me, I wasn't in love you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I kind of was like, like, like, even though I
Speaker 1: dated her for like a year and some change, I
Speaker 1: wasn't like in in in love with her. So I
Speaker 1: was a little upset. But at the end, but at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I was like, now I
Speaker 1: could truly live the college experience and I can. I
Speaker 1: can be I can be this college board. I want
Speaker 1: to be exactly right, Yeah, exactly you can. You can
Speaker 1: be the guy you were trying to be in seventh
Speaker 1: grade getting in bad grades. Noies, I love it all right,
Speaker 1: Let's thank you, Calvin. I really really enjoyed you had
Speaker 1: any of my question. Stam No, I was just gonna
Speaker 1: ask them to like just leave our listeners some with
Speaker 1: some advice, especially our gentlemen. Listeners are men who want
Speaker 1: to be gentlemen. You know what advice would you want
Speaker 1: to give them? The advice iver want to give them
Speaker 1: is to be who you are and do not feed
Speaker 1: into your like to what your friend group or what
Speaker 1: other men defined as being masculine. And it's okay for
Speaker 1: you to have feelings. It's okay for you to be
Speaker 1: who you are, and it's okay for you to like
Speaker 1: the things that you do. It doesn't make you less
Speaker 1: of a man, It doesn't make you less of a
Speaker 1: black man, It doesn't make you any of that. And
Speaker 1: another thing I want to leave people with is if
Speaker 1: you have a dream, And I know people say this
Speaker 1: cliche thing all the time, if you have a dream,
Speaker 1: follow it, do everything you can. But I really tell
Speaker 1: people like, you really gotta if you really have a dream,
Speaker 1: you really gotta do. You really gotta do that ship
Speaker 1: because the worst thing for me is that if I
Speaker 1: would have never went after this dream, I would still
Speaker 1: be somewhere teaching art, being probably custad by somebody's mama,
Speaker 1: watching somebody else live the life that I wanted to
Speaker 1: And that to me, like it is the most like
Speaker 1: heart wrenching thing. And I also want to tell the
Speaker 1: last thing, the last thing. If you think the price
Speaker 1: of winning is too high, just wait until you get
Speaker 1: the bill from regret. You know what I mean, because
Speaker 1: that bill from regret will hurt you a lot more
Speaker 1: than the price that you would ever pay for winning.
Speaker 1: You got that out that book, don't be a same? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Can you tag like your social media telling? Yeah? So
Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram I'm at Calvin Davis
Speaker 1: all one word. My blog is No Tourist Dapper dot com.
Speaker 1: The book is also called No Torst Dapper How to
Speaker 1: be a Modern Gentleman with Men of Telling Body Confidence.
Speaker 1: And you can find me on Facebook at nors Dapper
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Speaker 1: What you guys? Sam, y'all, it's me official Tam Bam.
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