1
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:07,080
Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who

2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:11,960
Speaker 1: talked back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning in

3
00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:14,680
Speaker 1: for a new episode that we talked back, A show

4
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 1: dedicated for you niggas and these holes and everybody in

5
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,160
Speaker 1: but to Ween, it's your co host a J Holiday.

6
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:25,239
Speaker 1: What a hey, y'all listen me, Tim Ben I love y'all, man,

7
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 1: I do, y'all be telling me, y'all love me back?

8
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,160
Speaker 1: J look a j Roe her eyes just now. I do. Hey,

9
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:37,000
Speaker 1: y'all tuning in one sucking him everybody. My weekend was lady, y'all.

10
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,720
Speaker 1: I went to Nashville and I participated in the Thrill

11
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,199
Speaker 1: of Possibilities summit hosted by Nissan on her radio and

12
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,000
Speaker 1: Black Effect, and I got to speak to some young

13
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,720
Speaker 1: bright at Bushy Tail College students on a panel about

14
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,240
Speaker 1: h b c U S And it was so much fun.

15
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,520
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it. The students looked like they enjoyed it.

16
00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,959
Speaker 1: Everybody from Black Effect Network really had a good time.

17
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,200
Speaker 1: I'm so I was grateful to be a part of

18
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,679
Speaker 1: something so monumental in our black community. Thank you Nissan,

19
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,199
Speaker 1: thank you Black Effect, and thank you our Heart Radio.

20
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,640
Speaker 1: For having me for that. That was great. That sounds

21
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,280
Speaker 1: super dope. Glad you enjoyed yourself. Yeah it was great, man,

22
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:17,119
Speaker 1: it was How about your weekend? I didn't do much

23
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:21,920
Speaker 1: chill out prepare for this week that's it. Um. I

24
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:26,319
Speaker 1: really want to come to your your stock class when

25
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,319
Speaker 1: you hosted, I know you were doing preparing for that.

26
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,480
Speaker 1: Oh yes, okay, so this is what i'd be preparing

27
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: for all right, So yes, y'all, and I have been

28
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,080
Speaker 1: meaning to mention it. Thank you for in minding me.

29
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,280
Speaker 1: So I have finally started putting together curriculum for my

30
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:44,960
Speaker 1: options traded and UM class. I'll put some notifications at

31
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,400
Speaker 1: LOOT that out soon for anybody who would like to attend.

32
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,720
Speaker 1: Even if you don't ever trade options, I feel like

33
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,680
Speaker 1: all black people should know how to trade options, especially

34
00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,200
Speaker 1: with our declining economy. The stock marketing ain't going no where.

35
00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:02,960
Speaker 1: So if you can learn how to make money on

36
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,760
Speaker 1: the downside of the stock market, like that's where it

37
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: is at, so you still make money even if the

38
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,519
Speaker 1: stock market goes down with option trading. So get in there.

39
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:19,799
Speaker 1: Check it out, man, that's abuton, it's for me. Oh yeah,

40
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,040
Speaker 1: it's not free. And look niggas. It ain't free, you know.

41
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,799
Speaker 1: I just want to get compensated a little bit for

42
00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:28,720
Speaker 1: my time. But for the most part, it definitely is

43
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,520
Speaker 1: going to be a well put together, comprehensive course, inexpensive

44
00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,119
Speaker 1: in comparison to a lot of ship you might get

45
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,679
Speaker 1: charged for out here, because I have seen some programs

46
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,239
Speaker 1: upwards five dollars. He would be out here trying to

47
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,760
Speaker 1: charge people. I just want you to have the knowledge

48
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,680
Speaker 1: that's where my love comes from. I don't be there

49
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:52,560
Speaker 1: seeking some of that little bit. What happened is stupid

50
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:57,240
Speaker 1: internet news. Okay, so the Internet isn't a frenzy right now.

51
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,959
Speaker 1: You know young Miami's baby daddy. So I was I

52
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,760
Speaker 1: I know on Instagram he's eight or eight, my boas,

53
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,680
Speaker 1: but his son and friends in the class and recorded

54
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:13,040
Speaker 1: his teacher, their teacher basically saying that how he's racist. Essentially, Yeah,

55
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:17,520
Speaker 1: I did see him. It's a Texas middle school balls

56
00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,440
Speaker 1: bowls b O h l S is that bowls whatever?

57
00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,480
Speaker 1: Middle school? The teacher balls to the wall and they're

58
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:30,680
Speaker 1: gonna like he's on administrative leading for admitting to his

59
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:36,480
Speaker 1: very young, impressionable class that he is in fact a racist.

60
00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,120
Speaker 1: And I was trying to, you know, listen to the

61
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,160
Speaker 1: discussion to understand the context in which he was saying,

62
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,840
Speaker 1: because there is a point where he says, I don't

63
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,280
Speaker 1: hate anybody. I don't. He said, I think I'm ethnocentric,

64
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,600
Speaker 1: and which means I do think I belong to the

65
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:57,680
Speaker 1: superior race. What do you think about that? I think

66
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,880
Speaker 1: what the teacher and that situation was trying to explain

67
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:04,640
Speaker 1: could have possibly, you know, he could have explained things

68
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,480
Speaker 1: a little bit better, but I think he would was

69
00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:11,560
Speaker 1: probably trying to tell them a difference between prejudice and racism,

70
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,640
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit, because I think that most people

71
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,240
Speaker 1: are prejudiced. We do have prejudices against other groups of

72
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,560
Speaker 1: people that are outside of our group. That's like a

73
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:26,680
Speaker 1: real thing. We have prejudices against our own people. Yeah,

74
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,440
Speaker 1: so especially in a time like we're in right now,

75
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,560
Speaker 1: right all the ship that's going on with the j

76
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:37,640
Speaker 1: community or whatever, however why we can't say it, but yeah,

77
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:42,160
Speaker 1: so with with that, it's almost like, um, and then

78
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,440
Speaker 1: now we're saying we're the real ones we on this

79
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:50,279
Speaker 1: earth and all that stuff. Everybody probably practices, Um, what

80
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:55,719
Speaker 1: is the word you use? Ethno centrism? Ye? I don't

81
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,440
Speaker 1: think that. I think everybody practices that, but nobody wants

82
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:02,800
Speaker 1: to be honest about it. Mm hmm um. I was like,

83
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:07,560
Speaker 1: what play for? I meant for the team. Yeah. So

84
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,920
Speaker 1: even like when we get mad when we see black

85
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,800
Speaker 1: men with white women, like why can't they do that

86
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,680
Speaker 1: without our group feeling some type of way about it.

87
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 1: So there is the prejudice because I ain't got no man, right,

88
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:22,480
Speaker 1: if you had a man, you were feeling type of way.

89
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,960
Speaker 1: But that's that's really where it stems from. But I

90
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:32,400
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't think that was a conversation for Yeah, yeah,

91
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,560
Speaker 1: that was, you know, because a lot of adults aren't,

92
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,640
Speaker 1: you know, ready for that conversation. So to be having

93
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,159
Speaker 1: this conversation with these kids and their parents aren't present

94
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:46,599
Speaker 1: probably wasn't the best idea, you know, he would I

95
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,320
Speaker 1: don't know, mm hmmm, because you don't need to be

96
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,760
Speaker 1: sitting in the school with kids that black kids majority.

97
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,880
Speaker 1: It looks like the classroom was full of black kids.

98
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:59,479
Speaker 1: I saw hispanic, yeah, but for the most part it

99
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,039
Speaker 1: was black boys. I did see a little Hispanic boy

100
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,960
Speaker 1: in there, so it's probably and they were the most vocal.

101
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,159
Speaker 1: But yeah, if you say he didn't say he was prejudiced.

102
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,840
Speaker 1: He said he was racist, And it was that word

103
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:17,360
Speaker 1: that was like triggering for me, like racist, right, I

104
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,080
Speaker 1: don't know, he did say he was racist, you know,

105
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,560
Speaker 1: people adding white supremacists on top of that and all

106
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,520
Speaker 1: that should just have a negative connotation. But I mean,

107
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,440
Speaker 1: I might could be seen as a black supremacist. Yeah,

108
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,960
Speaker 1: a lot of black people could be seen that way.

109
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:36,280
Speaker 1: M but I don't like to put labels on stuff

110
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,720
Speaker 1: in that way. I'm definitely not racist. I'm definitely We're

111
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,799
Speaker 1: not in a position to do anything really systemically racist

112
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,760
Speaker 1: to another group of people at all. I don't know

113
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,440
Speaker 1: if I think I'm better because I'm Black. I just

114
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,680
Speaker 1: think I'm better and black at the same time. Period

115
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,400
Speaker 1: just happened to be that way. I'm sorry, and the

116
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,600
Speaker 1: black was just the icing on the cake of all.

117
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,200
Speaker 1: And who's to tell another group of people they too

118
00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,800
Speaker 1: can't feel that same way. I feel like us being

119
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:08,800
Speaker 1: that way in America is shunned on a lot, Like

120
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:12,679
Speaker 1: you can't display black power and proud to be black

121
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,280
Speaker 1: without another group of people feeling like you're oppressing them,

122
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 1: where we are not in a position to oppress any body.

123
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,120
Speaker 1: But you know why, I feel like white people might

124
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:24,240
Speaker 1: feel like they can't have white pride. They do. It's

125
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,440
Speaker 1: a whole movement right now. Yeah, Oh, you feel like

126
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,440
Speaker 1: there's a white white men in particular feel like they

127
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,960
Speaker 1: no longer have a voice in America when y'all still

128
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:38,960
Speaker 1: like literally running or are they? Because the ship we've

129
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,720
Speaker 1: seen in the last couple of weeks, I don't know

130
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:45,240
Speaker 1: who running, what what's happening? I don't know right, but

131
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,160
Speaker 1: I think that anytime going forward, black people need to

132
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,240
Speaker 1: look at things a little bit more objectively instead of

133
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,080
Speaker 1: having so much emotion. Because don't forget, like, even though

134
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,360
Speaker 1: it's a black person and the black kid experience, who

135
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,640
Speaker 1: put this ship on the internet, Like the ship stole

136
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,160
Speaker 1: makes its way out there to force us to have

137
00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,720
Speaker 1: all these emotions about ship. Just sit back and be

138
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,160
Speaker 1: a fucking observer. So how do you feel like if

139
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,680
Speaker 1: a white person call you the end or with the

140
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 1: hard e R or with the A on the end,

141
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:21,360
Speaker 1: how would you respond to anybody's saying that word to me, um,

142
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,200
Speaker 1: especially a white person. For sure you're gonna get smacked.

143
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,240
Speaker 1: I would. That's that's the derogatory word that they shouldn't

144
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,800
Speaker 1: not they should not use. Yes, we've found some type

145
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,440
Speaker 1: of way to make it a positive thing, because you

146
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,760
Speaker 1: gotta look at where the word actually comes from. Like

147
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,920
Speaker 1: some people it's niger I think that. I used to

148
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,680
Speaker 1: feel like you call me the N word, I'm punching

149
00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 1: your mouth right. But now I'm in a space where

150
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,960
Speaker 1: I'd be like, who burn Like it don't have no

151
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,440
Speaker 1: power over you, Like, try again, bitch, that don't hurt

152
00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,760
Speaker 1: my feeling even the er. Yeah, I feel like it

153
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 1: wouldn't burn me no more. I don't feel like it

154
00:08:57,559 --> 00:09:00,079
Speaker 1: has that type of power. But it hasn't happened to me,

155
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,679
Speaker 1: so I can't speak to I might be just sitting

156
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:04,640
Speaker 1: here saying like, oh, bit, that don't affect me. It

157
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,840
Speaker 1: rolled off my shoulder like water, you know. Like, but

158
00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,079
Speaker 1: I might be wrong. I might take it to your

159
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:14,880
Speaker 1: motherfucking ask just out of anybody using that. Anybody using

160
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,600
Speaker 1: that ere gonna be a problem for me. I've seen

161
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,199
Speaker 1: when Kanye was, you know, all in the news a

162
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,839
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. I forgot who it was, but

163
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 1: it was a celebrity. Um, but he tweeted, he said,

164
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:30,280
Speaker 1: fuck you nigger? What the er? He tweeted that, yeah,

165
00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,160
Speaker 1: it's still like it's a black man. Don't get me wrong,

166
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,920
Speaker 1: it is. I would not be okay with it, but

167
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,160
Speaker 1: I don't know if it would be powerful enough to

168
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,880
Speaker 1: take me to be violent towards this ignorant person. You're

169
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,720
Speaker 1: the real nigger, right, that's true. So I don't know.

170
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm still I'm still a w P working progress. I

171
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:57,440
Speaker 1: was watching SNL. Well everybody's probably seen as SNL. Dave Chappelle, Um,

172
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,880
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, stand up recently, and it's I mean,

173
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,600
Speaker 1: it's still relevant to what we're talking about about. This

174
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:09,800
Speaker 1: teacher in Texas. He found a real comedic way to

175
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:15,320
Speaker 1: have these uncomfortable conversations. Mm hmm. He always does, but

176
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:22,240
Speaker 1: mm hmmm upset him right now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying,

177
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,640
Speaker 1: because everything is anti semitic at this point. I Um,

178
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:28,640
Speaker 1: I saw a video where they were literally listing all

179
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:32,640
Speaker 1: the black people throughout history, you know, from Civil Rights

180
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:37,120
Speaker 1: on down that were called anti semitic. Girl everybody Oprah.

181
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:41,560
Speaker 1: Oprah was called anti semitic for having a Jewish family.

182
00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 1: Are multiple Jewish families on his show one time, and

183
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 1: they were literally talking about how they secretly worshiped the

184
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,800
Speaker 1: devil in the house. She got called anti Semitic for

185
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,600
Speaker 1: it though, and these are Jewish people telling their truth. Yeah,

186
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:58,319
Speaker 1: that's wow. Uh. Day Chappelle made a joke that he said,

187
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,640
Speaker 1: when black people do it their gangs, When Italian do

188
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,240
Speaker 1: it is their mob, and when Jewish people do it,

189
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:09,840
Speaker 1: it's a coincidence. Ever, again, that's funny. I mean if

190
00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,920
Speaker 1: a comedian, we're just so sensitive. I mean, you can't

191
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,280
Speaker 1: even be humorous anymore. There was a time when a

192
00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,720
Speaker 1: comedian could like make fun of anybody and it would

193
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,400
Speaker 1: be okay because it's out of humor. Not anymore. They

194
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,320
Speaker 1: about to cancel Dave Chappelle to man, Dave Chappelle cannot

195
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,959
Speaker 1: be canceled. He's proven that multiple times. He just is

196
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,400
Speaker 1: battling the l g B d Q e O g

197
00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:35,400
Speaker 1: B t Q community last year he can't be canceled.

198
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,000
Speaker 1: But don't y'all think it's kind of weird how we're

199
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:41,280
Speaker 1: laughing at it though? Why Kyrie and Kanye they're really

200
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,400
Speaker 1: going through some ship right now. But a comedian can

201
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,480
Speaker 1: come out and have an audience that is, you know, diverse,

202
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:51,120
Speaker 1: the diverse audience and everybody could laugh together but these

203
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,280
Speaker 1: two black men, Like we're laughing at it, but these

204
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,960
Speaker 1: two black men really going through it, the truth that

205
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,240
Speaker 1: Dave Chappelle is now telling. And y'all can laugh at

206
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,840
Speaker 1: it because it's in a him a comedy. This ship

207
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,720
Speaker 1: has happened to two black people. Well, all right, we're laughing,

208
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,880
Speaker 1: but this just happened this week, you know, this Saturday.

209
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:11,240
Speaker 1: We ain't seeing what they do today. Chappelle, he might

210
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,959
Speaker 1: go through it too. We're gonna see watch what happens,

211
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,560
Speaker 1: you know, watch what happens next. No, but why are

212
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 1: we even gonna watch what's happening? The thing is, I

213
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:23,120
Speaker 1: feel like the only way that outside uh forces could

214
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:27,680
Speaker 1: do anything to us is if some people within our

215
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,280
Speaker 1: group are complicit. If everybody be like, no, y'all can't

216
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,560
Speaker 1: do that to him. Everybody gotta be like that, though,

217
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 1: y'all can't do that if they come agrees, because all right,

218
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 1: when it comes to anti Semitism, only a Jewish people

219
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,120
Speaker 1: can decide what's hurtful to them, right. I can't tell

220
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,920
Speaker 1: you that that's not a hurtful statement, or that that's

221
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,560
Speaker 1: you know, they can't tell you that there's Jewish people

222
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,280
Speaker 1: actually right now and trying to take down to a

223
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:56,120
Speaker 1: d L. That's a real thing because they are essentially

224
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,880
Speaker 1: extoring people at this point. Well, I mean that's similar

225
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,160
Speaker 1: to to black people. And and you're proving what people

226
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,120
Speaker 1: are saying, by the way, y'all are trying to punish them.

227
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,560
Speaker 1: You're proving what people are saying. You're proving the power

228
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 1: that you have every time you come at somebody. You're

229
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,599
Speaker 1: proven what people with the joke is. You're proving the

230
00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:18,719
Speaker 1: joke is what I'm saying. Do you see what I do?

231
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:22,000
Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying? So? Yeah? So is it

232
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,240
Speaker 1: is it even needed? Is it necessary? Do we need

233
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:32,440
Speaker 1: a league like that? We need something? Good? Prayer? It's

234
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:37,920
Speaker 1: just not enough. Um. I also saw on Instagram that

235
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:44,760
Speaker 1: Savage said that NAS is not relevant. I know they

236
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,439
Speaker 1: were on a clubhouse forum and they were talking about

237
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:53,040
Speaker 1: what relevancy is and NAS is impact and it got

238
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,679
Speaker 1: into like a heated debate, and he says that NAS

239
00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,560
Speaker 1: is not relevant. He only has his fan base. Do

240
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,880
Speaker 1: you agree with that? So? Okay, we know we're talking

241
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,240
Speaker 1: about two different people, two different rappers, from two different erarors. Okay,

242
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,200
Speaker 1: twenty one Savage came up on the mumble wrap era.

243
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,199
Speaker 1: I like twenty one Savage. I can tell twenty one

244
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,160
Speaker 1: Savage was raised by a man you know, based on

245
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 1: his conversation. I don't think that, um so okay, So

246
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,560
Speaker 1: twenty one Savage. NAS may not be relevant to twenty

247
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,320
Speaker 1: one Savage and twenty one savages fan base, right, but

248
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,200
Speaker 1: NAS is definitely relevant to a lot of people, especially

249
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,840
Speaker 1: maybe our age group and older. And that is one

250
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,000
Speaker 1: of the things that twenty one Savage said. He was like,

251
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,520
Speaker 1: you know, if I if I were to have a

252
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,280
Speaker 1: concert and I came out of ninety five and I

253
00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:44,120
Speaker 1: have a concert in two and all of my um

254
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,960
Speaker 1: fans from from came to my concert, does that really

255
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,840
Speaker 1: make me relevant or do I just have a strong

256
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:54,320
Speaker 1: fan base? So I get that, but relevant to who?

257
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,840
Speaker 1: And I feel like social media now maybe it's NAS

258
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 1: is not relevant on social media as much as but

259
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,360
Speaker 1: if you have a strong fan base, that would make

260
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,760
Speaker 1: you relevant. These people still align right right there because

261
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 1: they over thirty, you know. So I think because we

262
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,400
Speaker 1: don't see nas fhase plasid on social media all the

263
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,560
Speaker 1: time like we see other people, or maybe when a

264
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,320
Speaker 1: jay Z does something is a little bit um more profound.

265
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,440
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I listened to nas last album.

266
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:24,440
Speaker 1: I haven't listened to the most recent one that just

267
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,640
Speaker 1: came out. But that last album was a fucking hit.

268
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,760
Speaker 1: I don't know why, Like I still listen to it.

269
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,480
Speaker 1: I don't know why people ain't on it. Maybe it's

270
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,440
Speaker 1: just because it's not their age before, and maybe they

271
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,800
Speaker 1: don't like the flow anymore. I don't know, but I

272
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:42,320
Speaker 1: listened to learn things. That's why I like NAS album. Yeah,

273
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,520
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm a fan of Nas. I haven't

274
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:47,359
Speaker 1: listened to like none of his new ship. I'm illmatic,

275
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:52,120
Speaker 1: still mad, you know, all that ship. But I guess

276
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,360
Speaker 1: you can be relevant to forty year olds, but there's

277
00:15:56,360 --> 00:16:00,960
Speaker 1: a lot of us. I mean, I know, m a

278
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:05,640
Speaker 1: R forty. I'm not That's why I said, y'all like

279
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 1: that we're adding on to my name numbers, but not

280
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:12,120
Speaker 1: to me. NAS is relevant. Nas is so fucking fine.

281
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,320
Speaker 1: I like NAS, like I want to haul at NAS,

282
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,680
Speaker 1: but I could. I just think Nas might be like

283
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:22,360
Speaker 1: a little bit socially awkward. You don't get that from him. Oh,

284
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,840
Speaker 1: I don't know. You don't know what to know about Nas,

285
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:30,560
Speaker 1: right right? Yeah? But I mean he's in all things tech,

286
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 1: like all the things that young boys are doing, like Crypto,

287
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,960
Speaker 1: all these tech things. Like NAS has all types of businesses,

288
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:39,680
Speaker 1: all types of ship to make him relevant. So it

289
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,960
Speaker 1: just depends on what's relevant to you. Because I don't

290
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,480
Speaker 1: think Nas gonna ever not be relevant, especially in hip hop, right.

291
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,560
Speaker 1: I don't know there's some little nigga ship, but I

292
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,400
Speaker 1: mean he not headlines in those shows no more. I

293
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 1: guess that's what he's meaning. Like, do you think like

294
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 1: these big ticket shows, Nas is not gonna be a

295
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,199
Speaker 1: headliner on Do you think that this new album with

296
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:12,360
Speaker 1: Drake it's kind of helping twenty one Savages career? Absolutely?

297
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 1: Because I listened to Savage albums like I like twenty

298
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 1: one Savage as a person, I don't necessary like his

299
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,520
Speaker 1: music like that. I haven't listened to the album yet,

300
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:27,080
Speaker 1: though you know I like the album. I don't know

301
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:31,120
Speaker 1: if I'm the target audience anymore. Because he was talking

302
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 1: about tell me your fence to show me who you

303
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 1: really are, and I'm like, bit, I'm too grown to

304
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,280
Speaker 1: have no fence to that. It's not that line was

305
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,639
Speaker 1: not for me, no, But you know, offenses like you

306
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,639
Speaker 1: got like a little secret account where you could be

307
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,119
Speaker 1: your cell phone. So all right, but it's it's grown.

308
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:50,160
Speaker 1: It's grown. Yeah, especially celebrities like they can't. They gotta

309
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 1: put on this image as as a celebrity. So what

310
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,920
Speaker 1: are you saying is let me see that of fences,

311
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,680
Speaker 1: I can see the real you bitch, be yourself. These

312
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 1: bitches don'ta being a self, so they you know, grown

313
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 1: ass Listen, I thought Fenster was for bitches who was

314
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,200
Speaker 1: hiding from their mama. You hide from the world. Yeah,

315
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 1: so they can comment and say that ship they really

316
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 1: be wanting to say to people. So basically, that's the

317
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,199
Speaker 1: first problem. If you're a grownass woman, you gotta have

318
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,760
Speaker 1: a fence that you need to reevaluate your life. You

319
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 1: out here faking my page is my page. You're gonna

320
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,960
Speaker 1: get who I am all day and the same, the

321
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 1: same person. Yep. I don't know. Sometimes I be wanting

322
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 1: to say something sh it now, I wanted to be

323
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:36,440
Speaker 1: my face on it, so I can understand having offense

324
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 1: to it. I am about to go create one. I

325
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 1: got several accounts, but I'm not about to be uh,

326
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 1: I just say that ship. Maybe that's a problem. Maybe

327
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,400
Speaker 1: I need me offense to because I just be saying

328
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:50,240
Speaker 1: whatever I want under anybody post. You don't like it,

329
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: go to church about it, talk to the right all right, y'all,

330
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,080
Speaker 1: we're gonna go to commercial. But when we come back,

331
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 1: we have the amazing Kelvin Davis. He is the author

332
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,480
Speaker 1: of Notoriously Dapper. He is a man who's all about

333
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 1: body positivity for men, and we really want to talk

334
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 1: to him because we want you all to stop wearing

335
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,920
Speaker 1: them shirts in the pool. Y'all don't need them T

336
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,760
Speaker 1: shirts in the pool. So come back and listen to

337
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 1: Mr Kelvin Davis so he can draw some jewels for y'all.

338
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:24,919
Speaker 1: We'll be right back. We have a special guest on

339
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 1: we talked back this week. Okay. He's an sc native

340
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 1: and he'd be putting that ship on. Okay, we got

341
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: the we got the expools it. Mr Calvin Davis, also

342
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: known as a Notoriously Dapper. He's a founder and creator

343
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,880
Speaker 1: of Notoriously Dapper, a super body positive style guide from

344
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: men of all shapes and sizes. And essentially, you are

345
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 1: here killing it because you're like the first black, big

346
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,360
Speaker 1: and tall model for Gap and Target tar J. Right,

347
00:19:55,600 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: y'all welcome Mr notoriously zapp until we talk back. Kelvin Davis,

348
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,119
Speaker 1: thank you for joining us yet, thank you guys for

349
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 1: having me. Yeah, I'm exciting. You look good, goddamn it

350
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: I do. Yeah good. You know I'm I'm sitting here

351
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: in my enchanted for us, as you call it. Yeah. So,

352
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 1: being a man from South Carolina, from Columbia, South Carolina,

353
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 1: you know that eating is like part of our culture,

354
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,359
Speaker 1: is like entertainment, and gaining weight is part of our culture.

355
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 1: You know. We like we we drenched everything in butter

356
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,159
Speaker 1: in the South, you know. And rice rice go, Like

357
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: at my mama's house, you will order a pizza and

358
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 1: it will still be a pot of rice on that

359
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, I don't know. So with that being said,

360
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:56,399
Speaker 1: do you feel like men can feel like conscious about

361
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: their bodies Like I feel like when we were growing up,

362
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,440
Speaker 1: they weren't allowed like if you gain weight and you

363
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: got big or whatever, you weren't allowed to have like

364
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: insecurities about your body as a man for sure. Yeah.

365
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 1: You know, I noticed when I got to high school,

366
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 1: really was when I started to feel like a little

367
00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 1: bit of insecurity towards my body because I was surrounded

368
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,000
Speaker 1: by like what this societal standard of male beauty was

369
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,640
Speaker 1: because I like worked at Abercrombie, I worked at Like Express,

370
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,880
Speaker 1: I worked at all these stores in the mall. So

371
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: every time, like we would put up these ads, I

372
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 1: would be like, damn, you know, any of these dudes

373
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,439
Speaker 1: look anything like But there's dudes that look like me

374
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: coming here all the time, they go shopping, you know

375
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:39,120
Speaker 1: what I mean. So and then, um, it was really

376
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: around like my sophomore year of high school when I started,

377
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 1: when I started developing a lot more stretch marks on

378
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 1: my back and stomach. I started to, like buil a

379
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,680
Speaker 1: little bit insecure. But I come from a family where

380
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 1: both were like both of my parents are very body

381
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 1: positive and they're very much like you know, love who

382
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 1: you are, Love the fact that you're black, love the

383
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,680
Speaker 1: fact that you're big, all these different things. So around

384
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 1: like my senior gear was when I started to feel

385
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: a little bit more confident in who I was. And obviously,

386
00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: like later on in life, you know, things changed and

387
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 1: I started to feel insecure again. But I do feel

388
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 1: like being a man in South Carolina, especially since our food,

389
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,880
Speaker 1: like you said, it's so heavily and doubtsed in our

390
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,239
Speaker 1: culture you know with rice and you know, grains and

391
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 1: butter and carves and all this stuff, right and yeah, vibration. Yeah,

392
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 1: and don't ever go to Big Mama house like trying

393
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: to like turn down some stuffing or some rice because

394
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,320
Speaker 1: because people get affected. Right. But it's like and like,

395
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 1: you know, God forbid you tell tell them I'm trying

396
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: to watch my I'm trying to watch my weight. They'd

397
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:57,320
Speaker 1: be like boys, you mean, like that's so it was

398
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,199
Speaker 1: like one of those things where it's like you have

399
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 1: to like to like because you know, like you don't

400
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,240
Speaker 1: want to feel like roasted, because even though you may

401
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:10,080
Speaker 1: feel like bad about about your body in that moment,

402
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 1: they'll make you feel bad for feeling bad about your Yeah. Boy,

403
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: if you don't get to sit down and eat thisse

404
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: motherfucker part at bit of food on your plate either,

405
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 1: you get roasted for that. Right. I alt talking about

406
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: this blog? How did you? How did you start the blog?

407
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 1: So the blog, y'all is notoriously dapper. How did you

408
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,680
Speaker 1: come up with your blog? Tell us a story about it?

409
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:51,600
Speaker 1: So I went to USC and uh I graduated with

410
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: the art education with the miner in oil painting. I

411
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:56,679
Speaker 1: got my first job over at St. Andrew's Middle School,

412
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,360
Speaker 1: which you know, y'all probably familiar with being and from,

413
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: I mean being in the Colombia area. Um So, when

414
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 1: I got my first job, I wanted to get like

415
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: some stylish clothing, you know, look fresh to death, because

416
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 1: you know, like you said, I always get that ship up.

417
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: So I wouldn't go to the store to go get

418
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: like a red blazer. And I asked for a size

419
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: forty eight and they only had a size forty forty

420
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,439
Speaker 1: two that was on mannequin, and I tried it on.

421
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 1: I was like, this is definitely not gonna going to

422
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: fit so ASTI Later I said, hey, do you do

423
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 1: you have like a size forty eight or maybe even

424
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 1: a forty six. She was like, no, we don't have

425
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:35,879
Speaker 1: a larger size. I said, well, can you check online,

426
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,440
Speaker 1: maybe checking another store. I'll drive to go get it

427
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 1: because it was just that fresh. And then she looked

428
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 1: me dead in my face and told me, well, maybe

429
00:24:43,119 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: you're just too fat to shop. Yeah no, she was

430
00:24:50,880 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 1: white for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like the fight though, y'all

431
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: y'all went to jail, you might not even have so

432
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,160
Speaker 1: like after that, like that was really my first time

433
00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: being like publicly body saying, and I tell people that

434
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 1: I think it hurt even more than it came from

435
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: a woman, because you know, if it came from a guy,

436
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: I would have took it with a grain of salt,

437
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,720
Speaker 1: being like whatever, like Nick Hayden, like whatever, you know

438
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: what I mean, But like when it comes from a woman,

439
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,760
Speaker 1: there's obviously a little bit of truth that's behind it.

440
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 1: And then I started to feel like do women view

441
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,680
Speaker 1: me this way? Like do women that give me attractive?

442
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: And you mean it's just like being like fat because

443
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 1: I did had gained a little bit of weight at

444
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: that point, and I started to feel like really insecure,

445
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 1: and I was like, man like, I couldn't like And

446
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,240
Speaker 1: this was a point in time in life. I had

447
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 1: just had my first daughter, so my daughter at the

448
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 1: time was about a year and a half year years old.

449
00:25:56,200 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: I had just gotten um and engaged to my now

450
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 1: ex wife, and then I was just you know, I

451
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 1: was just like feeling very down right, and I was like,

452
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: I can't shake this feeling. So I remember going on

453
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 1: Facebook and trying to type on status being like, man like,

454
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,520
Speaker 1: black men need a safe space to talk about how

455
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 1: they feel. But then I deleted it because I knew

456
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 1: as soon as I posted it the comment sex, it

457
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: was gonna be like you saw, get your ass, go

458
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: go to the gym that stop eating all this, you

459
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I knew it was gonna

460
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,879
Speaker 1: like it wasn't gonna be the same as if a

461
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 1: woman didn't. Right, Like, if a woman did it, you know,

462
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: other women would come on there and be like, that's

463
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: so city that that happened to you, Like that woman

464
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: should have never did all that. But if I were

465
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,200
Speaker 1: to as like a man, especially a black man, come

466
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,719
Speaker 1: on social media and then about that, people be like,

467
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 1: if you don't get your ass, I mean, there's plenty

468
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: of other stuff for you to worry, we'll worry about, right.

469
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: So it's like y'all are not allowed to be going

470
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: right exactly down because y'all hear his story. And I

471
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: always say this, and I get pushed back, is it

472
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: women you couldn't be vulnerable with? Or is it men

473
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: that you can't be vulnerable with? Because that's the narrative

474
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 1: is pushed, that is women that men can't be vulnerable with.

475
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,399
Speaker 1: But I bet you you had posted that thing maybe

476
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 1: because this woman did do that to you in the store.

477
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,639
Speaker 1: But if you had posted that on your social media,

478
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 1: I bet you you would have gotten the same response

479
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 1: from women, and you would have gotten that negative response

480
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,720
Speaker 1: from men. So who can't you be ving? Is it

481
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: us or your homeboys? It's definitely men for sure. I

482
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: mean I feel like I mean because I mean, that

483
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: just goes to show right then and there, because I

484
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: was worried more about the male perspective rather than the

485
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: female perspective, cause I knew females understand like body shaming,

486
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 1: especially like they and they will understand how it feels

487
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 1: to be insecure or to compare yourself to somebody else, right,

488
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 1: But men, even though they do do it, they like

489
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 1: feel like they don't want to talk about it. I'm

490
00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:02,640
Speaker 1: too games to like I don't care, Like, yeah, you do,

491
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: like you care about your body? Like even like to dude,

492
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: what's what's what's his bad man? Kevil? Like didn't he

493
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: just get like some or some something? Yeah, So it's

494
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: like dudes are out there roasting him. It's like, but dude,

495
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 1: let that dude live his life. If he was feeling

496
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: some kind of way about his body and he wanted

497
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 1: to do something to make itself feel good, let him

498
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: got her homeboy right now, walk around here looking like

499
00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: a bad bit He got the chisel, he got his

500
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:32,440
Speaker 1: abs done, he had he got lightful. Yeah yeah, look

501
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 1: no but she said the bad bitch. He just did

502
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:43,720
Speaker 1: what we're talking about, you know. Yeah, but he don't mind.

503
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,680
Speaker 1: He didn't call it bad bage, like you don't care.

504
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 1: Like it's funny because we know that thing like the

505
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: surgery and stuff is associated with bad bitches. So yeah,

506
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: right yeah, because like because they're starting to call Kevo's

507
00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: transformation the BB man all instead of instead of the BBL,

508
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: they called the BB male, which I mean, I'm like, okay,

509
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 1: that's cool. But it's like a lot of men though,

510
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,240
Speaker 1: are like checking and like roasting this man. But it's

511
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 1: like if you had the bread, if you had the money,

512
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: and if you had the chance to do it, you

513
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: probably would do it too, you know what I mean,

514
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 1: But just because you ain't getting the bread, and like,

515
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: you know, like this dude out here living his best life,

516
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:24,960
Speaker 1: like you're kind of hating on him. He just got

517
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,200
Speaker 1: a White Lives Matter tattoo. So I don't know how

518
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: much we can we will, yes, any who did he

519
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: get tattooed on his body, Um, Jeff Bayes, No, no,

520
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 1: Mark Zuckerberg, Yeah, it was Mark Zuckerberg, yes, and a

521
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 1: white Lives Matter, White lives yes, nigga. He really I

522
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: would want to hear. I want to hear whether like

523
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 1: is it supposed to be like funny or what was

524
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,160
Speaker 1: the Like I don't understand the psyche behind that tattoo,

525
00:29:55,280 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 1: Like that's too permanent to be funny, guys, okay for real?

526
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: Yeah for real? Yeah? Yeah. So pretty much like after that,

527
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: I wanted to start like a a a blog, you

528
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, because I always wanted to start

529
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 1: a fashion blog because I've always been into fashion. I

530
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 1: always was in I was always into art, so I

531
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: knew how to take good pictures. I knew how to

532
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: pose good. I knew what looked good in images of

533
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,120
Speaker 1: what did it? So I started? So I started this blog.

534
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: I started in two twelve actually, and this was like

535
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: be four. Instagram was like, you know, it's the thing

536
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 1: that it is now. I created like a similar Instagram

537
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: profile which I have like now, like the same one,

538
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: but it was pretty much just to help promote what

539
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 1: I was doing on my blog. Right, And it was

540
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: around like around two thousand and sixteen. Really when like

541
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: the women's movement got really popular and started trending, I

542
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: guess like people exactly yeah, like like like the first

543
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 1: plus sized woman for this and that. So after that,

544
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: people just from a natural curiosity point started googling male

545
00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: body positivity. And when they did that, my blog was

546
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: the first thing that came up. So just out of

547
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: like societal like cure curiosity, I became this this sort

548
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: of like spokesperson and leader for like male body positivity.

549
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 1: So all right with that, I have a question. I

550
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: have a question about body positivity because some would say that,

551
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 1: you know, people are promoting unhealthy lifestyle by promoting body positivity.

552
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: What do you have to say to that. I have

553
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 1: to say that I don't necessarily agree with any of that.

554
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: I feel as though if you are requiring people to

555
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: be a certain size, whether it's big or small, and

556
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: in order to feel good about yourself, I feel like

557
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: that's unhealthy because I feel like everybody is built differently

558
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 1: and would never weigh under like two d and thirty pounds.

559
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: This is not possible. If I did, my mother would

560
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 1: look would look at me like like the black community,

561
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: let the doctor, yeah, like yeah, like she literally like,

562
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,240
Speaker 1: are you sick? You know what I mean. So it's

563
00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: like there's some people that just aren't built in that way.

564
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 1: And there are some people that I feel like, take

565
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: body positivity to the extreme and they do things for

566
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,840
Speaker 1: clout or they do things, uh that necessarily aren't body positive,

567
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: and they try to claim it as being body positive.

568
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: And I feel as though, like body positivity is for

569
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 1: all bodies and all races, because I feel like it

570
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 1: gets trapped in to like this curvy white woman mindset

571
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 1: and when everybody thinks about body positive positivity, they think

572
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 1: about a curby white woman. But it's like, why is that,

573
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 1: like the why is that the mold for what body positivity?

574
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: Because Lizzo, it should be what body positivity is to,

575
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 1: you know, because she's very healthy. She lives a healthy lifestyle.

576
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 1: I mean she's she can literally play play, play the flute,

577
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,320
Speaker 1: dads do all this stuff, and there's women that are

578
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: half her size that can't even walk up again exactly,

579
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: and she'd be performings for real. Yeah yeah, So let

580
00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: me ask you this because all right, your established black

581
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 1: man from Columbia, South Carolina and Colombia. People might think

582
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 1: that a South Carolina country. They can't dress. But it's

583
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: a lot of flyers people coming out of South Carolina,

584
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: including us here on talking right now, How did you

585
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: turn this into money? How? Yeah? So so people don't.

586
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: So from when I started my blog, from two thousand

587
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 1: and twelve all the way to two thousand and seventeen,

588
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: I did all this stuff for like free. I didn't

589
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: get paid for anything. So I was buying my own clothes,

590
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,720
Speaker 1: my own ties, my own hats, everything, and I was,

591
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: you know, just showing different outfits. It wasn't until I

592
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 1: went to New York Men's Fashion Week and two thousands,

593
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: like late two thousand sixteen, almost two thousand seven seventeen

594
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: when I met a couple of like other mail bloggers

595
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: and they were, you know, talking to me about, you know,

596
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: how much money they make. And they were like, you

597
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 1: must make tons of money because you everywhere. And I'm like,

598
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 1: I don't make any money and these dudes are making

599
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,319
Speaker 1: like six figures and I'm like, how are you guys

600
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,760
Speaker 1: making this kind of money? And they're like, well, whenever

601
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: a brand like reaches out to you and stuff, like

602
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,359
Speaker 1: if they offer you free clothes and say no, they

603
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,600
Speaker 1: need to pay you conversation for using your for like

604
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: using platform, and I'm like and I'm like, you can

605
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,640
Speaker 1: do that, and they're like, that's what you should be doing,

606
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: Like aren't you making Like isn't this your job? I

607
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: said no. I was like, I am an art teeth

608
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: the teacher, Like this isn't my job. This is like

609
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 1: a thing that I do for like fun. And they

610
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:53,000
Speaker 1: were like if you care this much about it, and

611
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 1: you're creating this amount of content for fun, like and

612
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 1: we everybody here thoughts like you were getting paid for

613
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: this stuff because your stuff is great, like you know.

614
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: So I'm like thinking, like in my head, damn, I'm

615
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: not getting paid for none of this stuff. So this

616
00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 1: company reached out to me about a week after that,

617
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 1: and then it was like a sweater brand called h

618
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 1: Rivington based based on the Santa Barbara, California, and he

619
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 1: wanted to send me his sweater and like me like

620
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 1: take a few pictures of it and write and write

621
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,719
Speaker 1: like a blog a blog a blog post and then

622
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: posted on my Instagram and Twitter, Twitter, and I was

623
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: like and I was like, let me just test out

624
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 1: the water. So I sent in my price. It was like, well,

625
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,800
Speaker 1: I'll do it, but for this amount. And he was like, Okay,

626
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: I'll pay you whenever you get the sweats, or just

627
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,560
Speaker 1: send me a picture of it saying that you got it,

628
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: and then I'll send you the money. I was like yeah,

629
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:52,160
Speaker 1: and I'm like, day, I'm like, you know what I mean,

630
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:56,120
Speaker 1: Like I'm thinking, I mean, I'm I'm like the middle

631
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: school art teacher that's barely making like dollars a year,

632
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: and this dude's about about to pay me almost for

633
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 1: like this stuff, and I need to keep this starting yeah, winning.

634
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,359
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, so this is how people

635
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: start to monetize this kind of stuff. So after I

636
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: did that a couple of times, I did it obviously

637
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 1: like on my own, and then like the contracts got

638
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 1: a little more trickier and I had to like actually

639
00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: learn how to read them and learn how to like,

640
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 1: you know, say you need to change this purpose to

641
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: this because there was one con contract that I signed

642
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 1: with the gene company based out of Oakland that basically,

643
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 1: if if I wouldn't have read it and signed it,

644
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,640
Speaker 1: they would have like used my name and likeness all

645
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 1: the way to two. Yeah. But I but like, you know,

646
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: being like this, you know teacher, like, you know, like

647
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: you're just happy to get extra money. You're just signing everything, right.

648
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 1: So then I started to like something like it was

649
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: almost like God told me. Like God, I was like,

650
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 1: hold on, brother, slow to slow up. Yeah, it was

651
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 1: like slow down. It was like reading. Yeah, it was

652
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 1: like read this, Read this, brother. So I read it

653
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 1: and I like send them email back. I was like, hey, yo,

654
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: this doesn't sound right, like seeing y'all can use my

655
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: ship into like two two thousand and seven, like two

656
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: thousand seven to like, oh, it's supposed to be only

657
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,799
Speaker 1: for two thousand and seventeen. I say, ain't no way,

658
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 1: y'all missed the one in the two ain't no way perfect? Yeah, right,

659
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: So then they sent it back. I signed it and

660
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 1: then I like did it. And then around two thousand

661
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 1: and seventeen, and in the beginning of that school year,

662
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: so the two thousand and seventeen eighteen school year was

663
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: my last year teeth the teaching. I signed with Bridge

664
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:55,120
Speaker 1: Models and two thousand seventeen, and then a week after

665
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: I signed with them, Target and booked me as their

666
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: first like big and tall male black male model, and

667
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: I went to I went to New York and did

668
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,759
Speaker 1: it and it was awesome. And then I come back.

669
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,359
Speaker 1: You know, it was really strange for me at first

670
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: because I'm still a tech teacher. I'm still teaching these

671
00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 1: badass kids like that don't give a funk about anything

672
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,359
Speaker 1: that I have to say or do. They're like Mr

673
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:22,400
Speaker 1: David is looking like, you know, saying like they are seriously,

674
00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: like they were always on the ask, like they were

675
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: always on me right always, I know, like they were

676
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:34,200
Speaker 1: always roast me. So I was like, I go from

677
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: like being this like yeah, like the celebrated black male

678
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,479
Speaker 1: like Target model, this and that, and then I leave

679
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: and come back to the castroom when they like you

680
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 1: ball head up, I'm like, come on, y'all. And then

681
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:03,400
Speaker 1: around around like around Thanksgiving was when a lot of

682
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 1: my students started to see some of my ads and

683
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: they started to like be like, you know, Mr Davis, uh,

684
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: do you have like another job or something. I was

685
00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 1: like no. And then like this girl one day she

686
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: had like a Target catalog come to her house and

687
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,520
Speaker 1: she brought it in the classroom. Was like, y'all, look

688
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 1: at Mr milk dud up in Target Target and stuff.

689
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 1: And I told them I lied to him and told

690
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: them that I had I had a twin brother. So

691
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: they're like, oh, ship, like you got a twin brother.

692
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: I said, yeah, his like his name is Kevin. Like

693
00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 1: we looked just like obviously because we're twins, but that's

694
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: not me and they and they're all like, oh damn okay.

695
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: So around like around like March of two eighteen, I

696
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 1: was about to like it was two months before I

697
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: didn't sign my contract to come back. One of my

698
00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: sixth traders was like, yo, Mr Davids, so we like

699
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,719
Speaker 1: follow you on Instagram, right, and every time that like

700
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 1: you're gone here, we noticed that, like your twin has

701
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: gone too, like your twin is like wherever you are,

702
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: but y'all never posted pictures together. All right, I'm like,

703
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,959
Speaker 1: you know what, that dude don't make a lot of sense.

704
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: And he was like, so we all came up with

705
00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:27,480
Speaker 1: the conclusion that you don't have a twin brother, and

706
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: that's and that's been you the whole time. I said, yeah,

707
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: come out, yeah yeah. And as much as they roasted me,

708
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 1: they also like loved me, right, yeah, like love loved me.

709
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:49,840
Speaker 1: So whatever I was thinking about, quit quit quitting, I

710
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: would ask them. I asked him around April. I was like, look, y'all,

711
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,560
Speaker 1: I'll think about not coming back. You know, I'm gonna

712
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: miss some of y'all. Some of y'all, man, you know

713
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: what I mean, right? And they were like, Yo, Mr Davids,

714
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 1: you always tell us to go after our dreams, so

715
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 1: why wouldn't we encourage you to go after yours. It's like,

716
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: what from reading me? You know what I mean? But

717
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: then I was like wow. I was like, and that

718
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,960
Speaker 1: really meant a lot to me to hear six seventh

719
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: and eighth eighth graders, girl, we want to see you

720
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,840
Speaker 1: with like, we want to see you represent all the

721
00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: stuff that you've been teaching us and all the things

722
00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:33,320
Speaker 1: that you've brought us to do, and all the confidence

723
00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:36,239
Speaker 1: you've given us. Because I was like everybody's favorite teeth

724
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 1: the teacher. Everybody would come. Man. I would literally have

725
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,640
Speaker 1: kids skip class to come to art. Like, they wouldn't

726
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: leave Jim. I'm like, who doesn't want to play basketball?

727
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 1: They would leave Jim and come to be and in

728
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:50,960
Speaker 1: my art class. I like, you ain't supposed to be

729
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: up in here. They like, Yo, just just let me

730
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,279
Speaker 1: hang out for like an hour. I'm a class only minutes, right,

731
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:03,960
Speaker 1: and it's still kind of like Jim because I'm making

732
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: a paper mache basketball, you know. So you know, in

733
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,799
Speaker 1: the past, um men didn't I guess really until your blog,

734
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 1: as far as I'm concerned, or until you this personality

735
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,719
Speaker 1: now didn't have like real life representation for different body types,

736
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 1: not as much as women do. So do you think

737
00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 1: that social media kind of help with that? Do you

738
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: think social media played a big role in now men

739
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: being able to do some of the things that women do. Yeah,

740
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 1: of course, yeah, I absolutely do, because I feel like

741
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,279
Speaker 1: if it wasn't for social media, a I wouldn't be

742
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 1: as known as I am. And a lot of people,

743
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: like a lot of men that uh follow me on like,

744
00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,879
Speaker 1: you know, look at my look at my stuff. It's

745
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 1: because they see not only the positive interactions that I

746
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 1: have with women, but also with men, and they're like,

747
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: if this dude could be like as vulnerable as he

748
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 1: is on so social media, be you know, feminist and

749
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 1: be pro all this stuff and still be a man,

750
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 1: Like I could do this too, Like there's no reason

751
00:43:13,239 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 1: for me to hide underneath the shell of quote unquote

752
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,440
Speaker 1: black and masculinity. Like nah, Like I don't want to

753
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: be that way, because that's this and that. Like my

754
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 1: daddy told me nine not not to be soft. My

755
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 1: mama told me that boys don't cry, but I'm like

756
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,839
Speaker 1: as black men, and I honestly did. Didn't even start

757
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:35,759
Speaker 1: going to therapy until I got divorced. In you know

758
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 1: what I mean, I was like, I need to go

759
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 1: see somebody because I'm about the like I'm about to

760
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,880
Speaker 1: lose my motherfucking mind. Like I literally was like literally

761
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,840
Speaker 1: going crazy. I felt like, you know, so, I like

762
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 1: encourage not only men to love who they are as

763
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: far as body wise, but to also take care of

764
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: their mentals. Because you can work out and be as

765
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,560
Speaker 1: physically healthy as you want to, but if you don't

766
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:03,800
Speaker 1: work on that mind, if you brain that body, do

767
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,719
Speaker 1: mean nothing. Like you can have the biggest arms, the

768
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 1: nicest body, or you can feel as body confident as

769
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: you want to, but if your mentals are not right,

770
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: like if you are narcissistic you treat women back gas

771
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 1: like you are not yeah, like you are not a

772
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: good guy. Like you can look as good as you

773
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 1: want to, but if you don't treat people nice, it's

774
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,920
Speaker 1: not great. And I live by I live by this motto.

775
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 1: It's nice to be important, but it's most but it's

776
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,279
Speaker 1: more important to be nice. And I really I live

777
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:39,799
Speaker 1: by that in my everyday life because it's like it's

778
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 1: nice for me to be important to people and people

779
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,680
Speaker 1: be like, you know, Kelvin is doing the stuff. I

780
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,799
Speaker 1: love it. I love to see it, but it's more

781
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,239
Speaker 1: important for me to be nice to other people and

782
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,360
Speaker 1: to like show other black men love. Very adamant a

783
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: gentleman if you're just a whole asshole out here, yeah,

784
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: like you have tips to be the modern gentleman and

785
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: that sounds like one of them. Do you have any

786
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: others that you could just share with us, Like, yeah, yeah,

787
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: I do. Um so for so those listening, I do

788
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:16,600
Speaker 1: have a book. It was a Image Award nominated book.

789
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:20,800
Speaker 1: You know, yes, I was nominated for Most Outstanding Literature

790
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 1: two seventeen, but I lost the Oprah shout out to Oprah.

791
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:32,319
Speaker 1: If if you lose to anybody, let it be O. Yeah. Yeah.

792
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:35,920
Speaker 1: But I tell man that you have to be you

793
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,799
Speaker 1: have to define what a man is for you, right,

794
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 1: and if being a man for you is being gangster

795
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 1: and you know, doing all this stuff and bad mouthing

796
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 1: people and living a lifestyle that necessarily could get you

797
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:52,840
Speaker 1: in a lot of trouble or could hurt people around

798
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,800
Speaker 1: you or even hurt yourself. You're not really a gentleman.

799
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 1: I mean you, I mean you can dress like a gentleman,

800
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:03,439
Speaker 1: and I like, start off. I started. I started off

801
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:09,279
Speaker 1: by telling people that, you know, a gentleman back in

802
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:12,279
Speaker 1: the nineteen twenties could be a guy that could wear

803
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:16,320
Speaker 1: a certain tie and still beat his wife, be racist.

804
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: Uh like hang peeple people be he could even be

805
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: as far as go and be a part of a

806
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,120
Speaker 1: clan meeting and still be considered a gentleman. Right, So

807
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 1: I write this in my book, and I'm like, we

808
00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 1: need to redefine what a gentleman is because all these

809
00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:40,080
Speaker 1: men out here just thinking it's about dressing, because it's

810
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:45,359
Speaker 1: like because like yeah, because like you can dress nice

811
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: and then take a woman out on a date and

812
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 1: then you know you'd be nice to her until she

813
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: doesn't give you what you want, and then all of

814
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 1: a sudden you turn into somebody that you never even

815
00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: be out and it's like, look like, who the funk

816
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 1: are you? Like, first of all, that's somebody's daughter, Like

817
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: that's somebody's like that's somebody's everything, and you don't talking

818
00:47:08,120 --> 00:47:10,640
Speaker 1: to people like they don't have no sense because you

819
00:47:10,719 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 1: brought them crab leggs. Like you know what I'm saying

820
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:18,640
Speaker 1: it seriously like yeah, like these dudes really be out here,

821
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:21,919
Speaker 1: like be like, oh I bought this girl. I'm like, okay, thinking,

822
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: well next time, don't buy if you like we need

823
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 1: pulling up. Yeah, all the crabs yeah right, I mean,

824
00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:36,160
Speaker 1: thank you for the crab leggs, but don't act like

825
00:47:36,239 --> 00:47:39,440
Speaker 1: I owe you something because they want you want you

826
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:44,399
Speaker 1: to pay him pussy exactly. Yeah. And it's like, dude,

827
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: like she can pay you in conversation, she can pay

828
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 1: you on other forums. And how do you not know

829
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: that if you go out somewhere else, like like if

830
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: you go out on another day, she might pick up

831
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: the text, right, you know what I mean. It's very

832
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: transactional in that one, you know, and breakfast and holidays

833
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: I got you, breakfast, and birthdays I got, I got

834
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:10,040
Speaker 1: that ship, I got lets. I'm not about to just

835
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 1: be going to my pocketbook on the date. No, yeah, yeah, yeah,

836
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:20,480
Speaker 1: I feel you honestly sometimes I will. I have because

837
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 1: especially if I had sensed from the person that you

838
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:25,120
Speaker 1: think I told you, like I gotta pay you back

839
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 1: and put you tonight. I might go ahead and pay

840
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,120
Speaker 1: for it and I just want to talk to you

841
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 1: no more. But yeah, I would be Yeah, sometimes I

842
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 1: do it just because I feel like being nice, you know, honestly,

843
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 1: not like a typically not a first day I'll pay,

844
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:42,279
Speaker 1: but I might. Let's say we go out, and I'd

845
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,480
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, I got it this time.

846
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 1: So I was married for ten years, so I haven't dated.

847
00:48:51,760 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: I mean, so what now? Zero stars would not recommend ghetto. Okay,

848
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:09,320
Speaker 1: it's definitely hard. It's a different world because sometimes, you know,

849
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:11,920
Speaker 1: a lot of men do treat it very transactional, like

850
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: especially if they go take you to a nice place

851
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: and the tab is expensive, they do feel like, you know, damn,

852
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 1: I showed you this nice time, show me a nice

853
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 1: time back, and it's like, damn, I thought I was

854
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 1: telling all my best jokes, right we had. I thought

855
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:29,960
Speaker 1: we both had a good time. Why do you need

856
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,320
Speaker 1: to come up to my house at this point? Like,

857
00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: and I feel like I don't know if it's the

858
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 1: young girls, And y'all can correct me young ladies if

859
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:39,439
Speaker 1: you're wrong, But y'all, it's giving up the pussy fact,

860
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 1: like y'all really the game. So it's like people think

861
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: that that is what it's supposed to happen now, like

862
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: you need to sleep with someone instantly after going on

863
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:54,840
Speaker 1: the date. I think I think most men, if the

864
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: problem is their coin, right, they don't want to feel

865
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,280
Speaker 1: like they're getting finessed. But you don't. Why are you dating?

866
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 1: Are taking ten different women out in a month? You know,

867
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: pick a couple and then it won't hurt your pocket

868
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,359
Speaker 1: that much because what they're concerned about is how much

869
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: they spent on you. Right, So now you're not giving

870
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 1: up nothing out that spent all my money, but date

871
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 1: with discernment, date with purpose, and you won't feel like

872
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 1: you get in finesse. You won't be taking all these

873
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:22,320
Speaker 1: different people out because they everybody shouldn't be worthy of

874
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:27,239
Speaker 1: your coin. But if your goal at the end of

875
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: every date is to get pussy, that's why they're mad, right,

876
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: And then aren't their websites exactly to those grinders and

877
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 1: all these all these different ways want regular women? Right? Yeah? Yeah,

878
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,359
Speaker 1: it's like it's like the same dude that like don't

879
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,480
Speaker 1: want a respective woman whenever she gives it up and

880
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,439
Speaker 1: it's like I can never wife her out. But it's like, dude,

881
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,359
Speaker 1: you live like a double Standard's like, do you want

882
00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:57,160
Speaker 1: to take this woman out on a day and get

883
00:50:57,200 --> 00:50:59,479
Speaker 1: to know who she is and you can eventually see

884
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,800
Speaker 1: her as a potential partner? Are you just trying to

885
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 1: get some If that's the case, then you don't need

886
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: to take nobody out on the date. I had a

887
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 1: guy tell me over the weekend that out of sixty women,

888
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:14,040
Speaker 1: fifty seven of the women that he dated was just

889
00:51:14,239 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 1: for sex. And maybe what potential I got, I got

890
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,640
Speaker 1: to get my glances off of that. Hold on, hold

891
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,320
Speaker 1: I did. I really clashed my pearls. I was like,

892
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 1: why are you telling you a group of women? And

893
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:37,280
Speaker 1: he said that was common for most men, that typically

894
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 1: it's just about the hunt, and maybe two or three

895
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 1: of the women that they date in their life is

896
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 1: really for real relationship and everybody else is just about,

897
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: you know, a man's desire to have sexual relationship with

898
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 1: someone and that's it. I can see that from some

899
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:56,840
Speaker 1: men's point of view, but I feel like a lot

900
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:00,759
Speaker 1: of those men need to go to therapy, Like I

901
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 1: honestly say, the therapy, like and I know in the

902
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 1: black community is like look down upon us, like we

903
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: don't go to therapy, like praying about it, Like that's

904
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,720
Speaker 1: what my grandma used to Amos say, pray by the baby,

905
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:16,880
Speaker 1: pray yeah about But I'm like sometimes got busy, you know,

906
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,840
Speaker 1: sometimes got busy sometimes God like you need to go

907
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 1: you mean, you need to go to somebody else for you,

908
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,799
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So therapy for me has

909
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 1: really and I and I really encouraged not only all men,

910
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,279
Speaker 1: but especially black men to actually go because it's I mean,

911
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: for me, the recent like trauma with black men being

912
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:43,840
Speaker 1: killed by the cops and Takeoff staff really arnestly, really

913
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 1: like really hurt me a lot. Like I'm not gonna

914
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: lie like a lot of like a lot of the

915
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,080
Speaker 1: other rappers downs, you know, like you know, didn't bother

916
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,600
Speaker 1: me as much because you know, I wasn't allowed for PAULK.

917
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:57,360
Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed for Biggie, you know. I mean, I

918
00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,440
Speaker 1: was alive, but I didn't know who they were, Like

919
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: I wasn't a teenager. I wasn't do you know what

920
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,160
Speaker 1: I mean? But take Off in the medias to me,

921
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,160
Speaker 1: it was like everything It's like that's what all my

922
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 1: students would listen to and like we will always play

923
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,800
Speaker 1: stir Fry in the classroom like we would like you know.

924
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 1: It's like whenever he passed to me, it really really

925
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:19,640
Speaker 1: hurt it, really it really did. And I I really

926
00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: I like craft like a couple of hours because I

927
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,520
Speaker 1: was really hurt. And I feel like a lot of

928
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 1: black men don't want to talk about that, Like they

929
00:53:27,400 --> 00:53:30,360
Speaker 1: don't want to talk about how some something like that

930
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:35,080
Speaker 1: can hurt them. Yeah, because you know, we look at George,

931
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 1: look at all these things, and it does hurt us.

932
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,280
Speaker 1: I don't feel like black men are comfortable talking about

933
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 1: any pain, you know, any kind of pain, especially emotional.

934
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think y'all are. No, You're right,

935
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:53,359
Speaker 1: like especially I mean, I have a cousin who's pretty

936
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,759
Speaker 1: much like my brother because his mom, you know, like

937
00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,400
Speaker 1: didn't do her thing, you know, raised them and stuff.

938
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:03,800
Speaker 1: So my parents raised them and we're like brothers. And

939
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:08,320
Speaker 1: he just recently started going to my therapy therapist about

940
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: six months ago, but he was but he was like

941
00:54:11,560 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 1: the same kind of guy, like you're always sucking this

942
00:54:13,680 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 1: and sucking that and doing this and doing that. I'm like,

943
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:20,040
Speaker 1: you need to combat, like you need to you really

944
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 1: need to unpack what's really feeling, like how you really

945
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 1: feel about things, because emotional intelligence will change who you

946
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 1: are because once you can realize that you're not angry,

947
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 1: that you have anxiety instead of being angry, or that

948
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,759
Speaker 1: you're nervous instead of being angry. Because for me, it

949
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,040
Speaker 1: was like all these emotions were to me anger because

950
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: I would just feel some kind of like I'm angry.

951
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: It was either anger or sad. I didn't realize that anxiety, nervousness,

952
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: and depression like all these different aspects of like yeah,

953
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,480
Speaker 1: yeah a lot of times, yeah, like I would just

954
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: be mad. I'd be like, wait, but I'm really feeling nervous.

955
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 1: I'm really feeling nervous about this outcome. I'm not really

956
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 1: I shouldn't be angry, you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah,

957
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 1: So with the blog, because I know we talked, we

958
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 1: mentioned like toxic masculinity briefly, so I I wouldn't he

959
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: a blog is a really really nice blog. I suggest

960
00:55:21,840 --> 00:55:24,360
Speaker 1: everybody to go check out the kids really nice. You know,

961
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: it tells you like ship, the pack and all. It's

962
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:30,320
Speaker 1: all kind of like mentally things we're talking about, Like

963
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 1: I just saw some information about ancne and I was like, oh,

964
00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:39,399
Speaker 1: because maybe my nephew just started day school and over

965
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 1: the summertime, I'm like, listen, I'm gonna saying you some

966
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 1: stuff because he had really bad acne and like, you

967
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:45,920
Speaker 1: don't want to go into high school with that. Like

968
00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: I I possibly could have been a little mean girl

969
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 1: a little bit in school, but it was just like

970
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: the thing, but I wanted to make sure. I wanted

971
00:55:54,719 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: to make sure, like, you know, he cleans up age.

972
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 1: It was roasting the stand up comedy for that ass. Okay, people,

973
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,319
Speaker 1: just I just you know, my ship hit a little

974
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,120
Speaker 1: bit harder. It's just different. But yeah, I sent him

975
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 1: like some you know, some products to make sure he

976
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 1: can start working on the skin. My sister ended up

977
00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,120
Speaker 1: taking them to a dermatologist though, But y'all check out

978
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:22,399
Speaker 1: the website. But let's talk about check out his box.

979
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,160
Speaker 1: But let's talk about the toxic um masculinity for a second,

980
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: because did anybody actually ever tell you that you couldn't

981
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: express your feelings? But I know people say that, oh,

982
00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 1: my teacher did this, They rap about it. My teacher

983
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: told me I wasn't gonna be shipped. Does that really happened.

984
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:43,360
Speaker 1: So how did how is it really developed? Yeah? So

985
00:56:43,560 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 1: I would say luckily for me, both of my parents

986
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: have never done that. They've always been very much like

987
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:53,359
Speaker 1: express how you feel, see how you feel, It's okay

988
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:56,200
Speaker 1: to cry, like all these things. Right. It was more

989
00:56:56,239 --> 00:57:02,200
Speaker 1: of like the outside society like teachers, friends, uh, counselors,

990
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:05,040
Speaker 1: like you know, the people that watched me at daycare,

991
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 1: you know what I mean that would tell me boys

992
00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 1: don't cry like man, not for you know, I had

993
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:14,359
Speaker 1: I honestly, So this is a funny story. So at RMO,

994
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: I had a guidance counselor and she was my freshman

995
00:57:18,760 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 1: year guidance counselor counselor. And I'm not gonna live like

996
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 1: seventh and eighth grade. I was sucking around like I did.

997
00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: I made terrible grades. I was like, I mean, I'm

998
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,840
Speaker 1: not gonna lie to you. I just wanted to possibly

999
00:57:32,080 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 1: I was trying to find out how to have sex.

1000
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I was like I was really

1001
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: out there, like exploring sexuality. I was just a horn dog, right,

1002
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 1: So I was not focused in school in any kind

1003
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:47,600
Speaker 1: of way. So my freshman year, you know, we like

1004
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 1: get there and like the ladies going over my transcript

1005
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: from ERMO Middle and she's like, like the dog. She's like,

1006
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,880
Speaker 1: you need to be in these classes because you know

1007
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:01,720
Speaker 1: your grades were terror bol so obviously you know you're

1008
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 1: very much under performing and you cannot be in these

1009
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,560
Speaker 1: great level classes. I'm like, but I'm smart, I could

1010
00:58:07,600 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: do whatever I want to. I'm just horning, okay, right,

1011
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:17,960
Speaker 1: you know. So I'm like, so I'm sitting like these classes. Yeah,

1012
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,680
Speaker 1: so I'm like in these classes, like I'm like, I

1013
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 1: know all this stuff. I'm like surpassed this, right, So

1014
00:58:24,720 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm doing like this lower level work knowing that you

1015
00:58:28,160 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 1: know this stuff is like elementary to me. And I

1016
00:58:32,360 --> 00:58:34,720
Speaker 1: went back to her and I was like, yo, I

1017
00:58:34,800 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 1: think I need to be bumped out to other classes

1018
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 1: like this stuff. This is way too easy. Like I

1019
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 1: need algebra, neied geometry, I need other stuff. And she's like,

1020
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: you know, you're lucky. I I I basically even put

1021
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: you in these classes because I was about to call

1022
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 1: her momental and tell them to retain you another year.

1023
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:55,360
Speaker 1: It's excuse me. She was like, you would be lucky.

1024
00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:57,920
Speaker 1: If you ever make it to a four year institution,

1025
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 1: you'll be lucky if you ever make it high school. Right.

1026
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: So I go home, like, Mama, She's like, well, I'm like,

1027
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: you don't believe what the lady told me. She's like what,

1028
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, this lady told me I'll be barely like

1029
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 1: I'll be lucky at if I even make it out

1030
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 1: of high school. And my mom was like, whoa god damn.

1031
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:18,360
Speaker 1: So you know my mom, when up there, we had

1032
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: a conversate, say say station, and this lady was so

1033
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:24,680
Speaker 1: bold she said the same thing in front of my mama.

1034
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 1: She didn't even back down. She looked at my mama said,

1035
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:31,560
Speaker 1: Mrs Davis, I'm gonna be honest with you, I will

1036
00:59:31,600 --> 00:59:33,680
Speaker 1: be very shocked if your son ever makes it out

1037
00:59:33,720 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: of high school. The way his grades look, the way

1038
00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 1: he came in here, entered. I mean, it's almost like

1039
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:41,640
Speaker 1: he it's almost like he takes everything as a joke,

1040
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:45,439
Speaker 1: this and that. Right, So fast forward, right, I get

1041
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: my first teaching job, and guess who the guidance counseling

1042
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 1: the same lady. The same lady I would have been

1043
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:58,200
Speaker 1: trying to get her as out of that. So I

1044
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:00,880
Speaker 1: didn't notice her until about the third week of school,

1045
01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 1: and I was looking at it because you know, like

1046
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 1: time had changed. She got a little older and stopped

1047
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, are you missed such and such?

1048
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,600
Speaker 1: She was like yeah. I was like, probably don't remember me.

1049
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 1: I was like, you used to be a guy guy

1050
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: guy discussed at IRMO, right. She was like yeah, I said,

1051
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: you probably don't remember me because I was thinking that

1052
01:00:16,640 --> 01:00:18,520
Speaker 1: she probably said this to like a lot of kids, right,

1053
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:21,080
Speaker 1: And I was like, you told me that I would

1054
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 1: be lucky if I even made it out of high

1055
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,720
Speaker 1: school and this and that, and she was like, I

1056
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 1: do remember you. I said, well, not only did I

1057
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: make it out of high school, I made it through

1058
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:36,640
Speaker 1: college and I'm here teaching art. And she was like, oh, okay,

1059
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 1: really you know what I mean. And it was like

1060
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 1: and it was like one of one of those moments

1061
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: for her, like I cannot continue saying this stuff. Two kids,

1062
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:51,080
Speaker 1: I can continue, yeah, and parents, right, like I cannot

1063
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 1: continue doing this because I have this exquisite college graduate

1064
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 1: of a black man here teaching the same kids that

1065
01:00:58,240 --> 01:01:00,400
Speaker 1: come to me for counseling. And I with him. He

1066
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:04,400
Speaker 1: wasn't gonna be shipped that and didn't imagine how many

1067
01:01:04,520 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 1: other people that she told that to that, right, yeah,

1068
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:12,480
Speaker 1: And imagine how many students believed it, oh yeah, oh yeah,

1069
01:01:12,640 --> 01:01:17,600
Speaker 1: oh yeah plenty. But for me, I luckily have parents

1070
01:01:17,680 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 1: that were like, you can do whatever you want to

1071
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,959
Speaker 1: and I have parents that always told me go after

1072
01:01:23,160 --> 01:01:25,800
Speaker 1: whatever you want to write, because I had like a

1073
01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:28,640
Speaker 1: lot of kids whose parents were like, if you want

1074
01:01:28,640 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: to go to school for art or fashion, I'm not

1075
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:36,439
Speaker 1: paying for it. Ain't no black man going going going

1076
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,320
Speaker 1: to be an artist and this and that, like you

1077
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,640
Speaker 1: need to play sports and all this stuff. Right. So

1078
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:43,040
Speaker 1: for me, I was lucky enough to have parents that

1079
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 1: really disembraced who I was as a part of the

1080
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 1: person and did not try to mold me into what

1081
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:53,040
Speaker 1: society or what they think I should be. Right, Yeah,

1082
01:01:53,680 --> 01:01:56,240
Speaker 1: was this woman black or white? She was black? It

1083
01:01:56,360 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 1: was a yeah, man, I know right now kind of

1084
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:03,400
Speaker 1: figured she was black, And she probably felt saying that

1085
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,120
Speaker 1: to you. And that's why she felt comfortable saying it

1086
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 1: to your mom, because it's like saying it yeah in

1087
01:02:07,960 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 1: her mind, it's like, yeah, you can't tell right, don't

1088
01:02:13,120 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: do that, yeah, right, as counselor is supposed to guide

1089
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:22,160
Speaker 1: give hope to these kids, exactly, Yeah, you're sucking out now,

1090
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:25,120
Speaker 1: but you can't be better, you know exactly? Yeah, right,

1091
01:02:25,200 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: And like she never once told me. It's like, if

1092
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:29,800
Speaker 1: you try a little harder and get this grade, you know,

1093
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:33,400
Speaker 1: I'll bump you up. She was basically like, nah, you

1094
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:35,480
Speaker 1: ain't it. You'd be lucky if you even make it

1095
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:39,440
Speaker 1: to you know what I mean. And it was around

1096
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: my junior year was when she left, so she never

1097
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:45,680
Speaker 1: got to see me graduate because I feel like if

1098
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: she was still there whenever I graduated, she might have,

1099
01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 1: you know, said something to me and been like, you know,

1100
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,520
Speaker 1: I want to you know, but I never I never

1101
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:57,880
Speaker 1: saw her again until I became a teacher. Yeah, and

1102
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:00,240
Speaker 1: I felt like that was God's plan and so kind

1103
01:03:00,240 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 1: of way. Well, so what for now? What is the

1104
01:03:04,080 --> 01:03:10,480
Speaker 1: modern gentleman? Now? The modern gentleman to me as somebody

1105
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:15,280
Speaker 1: that is so I tell people that you you don't

1106
01:03:15,360 --> 01:03:19,200
Speaker 1: have to agree with what everybody does, right. You can

1107
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,440
Speaker 1: have your own views and your own way of how

1108
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:25,400
Speaker 1: you were raising your own morals. It's okay to not

1109
01:03:25,560 --> 01:03:28,800
Speaker 1: agree with everything that the world presents to you and

1110
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 1: tells you that you're supposed to be okay with. But

1111
01:03:32,680 --> 01:03:39,080
Speaker 1: the modern gentleman just understands that even though people don't

1112
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:44,600
Speaker 1: necessarily agree with everything that the same morals, because you know,

1113
01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: you can be you cannot agree with gay marriage and

1114
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:55,440
Speaker 1: not be homophobus right, Like there's a line, right like,

1115
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 1: you can like, you can believe that marriage supposed to

1116
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:01,560
Speaker 1: be between this and then, but you don't have to

1117
01:04:01,680 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: be homophobic and be angry and transfer that energy in

1118
01:04:06,080 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 1: a negative way and tell people how they should live

1119
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:12,280
Speaker 1: and be nasty. Right. You can have your own beliefs

1120
01:04:12,320 --> 01:04:15,800
Speaker 1: and agreed to disagree, but live your own life, right,

1121
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 1: And that's what I feel like. Being a gentleman is

1122
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 1: a modern one is it is understanding that I feel

1123
01:04:21,080 --> 01:04:23,479
Speaker 1: this way, but I can also understand how this person

1124
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 1: feels this way. And I'm not mad because I do

1125
01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 1: what's best for me and they do what's best for them.

1126
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:34,959
Speaker 1: But I don't think the modern gentleman should be transphobic, homophobic,

1127
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:38,720
Speaker 1: anti feminist, anti man. Like you shouldn't hate any group

1128
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 1: of people, you know what I mean? You should you like,

1129
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 1: you should look at them like I wouldn't do that,

1130
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:47,720
Speaker 1: And you know, if it was up to me, as

1131
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 1: somebody did that to me, it might be something different,

1132
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 1: you you know what I mean? Like There's been plenty

1133
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:58,400
Speaker 1: of times where you know, I am a modern gym gentleman.

1134
01:04:58,480 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: I do conduct myself as such, but I will not

1135
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:07,280
Speaker 1: tolerate disrespect, especially and in public place. You know. So

1136
01:05:07,400 --> 01:05:10,600
Speaker 1: if anybody were to ever, you know, try to use

1137
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 1: intimidation or try to use or try to you know,

1138
01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:22,160
Speaker 1: racially attack me, it's game time. Yeah, yeah, like it's

1139
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,480
Speaker 1: game time. So I don't want people to think that

1140
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,600
Speaker 1: the modern gentleman is like this soft man that disagrees

1141
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:33,560
Speaker 1: for everybody, because hey, modern gentleman agrees and disagrees and

1142
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:37,960
Speaker 1: understands and loves people and respects people's opinions, but he

1143
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: also does not tolerate disrespect. He also protects what's important

1144
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 1: to him. And if violence were to ever be the

1145
01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:49,919
Speaker 1: ultimate outcome, that's just what it has to be. Yeah,

1146
01:05:49,960 --> 01:05:53,760
Speaker 1: Because I always conduct myself as such. But if I'm

1147
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:57,360
Speaker 1: with both of my daughters and somebody disrespects my oldest daughter,

1148
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 1: who's in middle school but she looks like she's in

1149
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,760
Speaker 1: a high cool somebody says something to her that's disrespectful,

1150
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:06,840
Speaker 1: do you really think as her father, I'm going to say, listen, man,

1151
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,560
Speaker 1: I understand where you're coming from. We're gonna talk like that. No,

1152
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 1: who are you talking to? Brad's game time? Don't you

1153
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,320
Speaker 1: ever talk to my kids and my way ever? Again?

1154
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:18,680
Speaker 1: She is not only a female that is my daughter,

1155
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:21,280
Speaker 1: She's a Lebritears. Oh, are you trying to get sucked up? Right?

1156
01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:24,960
Speaker 1: I think a lot of you know what I mean? Like,

1157
01:06:25,160 --> 01:06:28,200
Speaker 1: I think a lot of time people only respect the

1158
01:06:28,320 --> 01:06:30,920
Speaker 1: people that they know and love. That's why it's so

1159
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 1: easy to go about and disrespect somebody else's mom, sister,

1160
01:06:34,280 --> 01:06:37,640
Speaker 1: daughter exactly. But if we look at all black people

1161
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:41,520
Speaker 1: like that's my sister, you know, maybe get the rid

1162
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:43,919
Speaker 1: of the word nigga and this replace it with brother

1163
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 1: and sister for real, because it just gives this different

1164
01:06:47,400 --> 01:06:53,840
Speaker 1: thing internally for us my sister. But you know what,

1165
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:58,040
Speaker 1: I have embraced not nigger, nigga in a way that

1166
01:06:58,080 --> 01:07:01,400
Speaker 1: it's like it's determining of endearment from me. When I'm

1167
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:05,440
Speaker 1: amongst black people, I feel yeah, yeah, I don't know.

1168
01:07:06,120 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 1: I mean definitely when I'm with other black people people

1169
01:07:08,760 --> 01:07:10,640
Speaker 1: I say nigga all the time. I mean, I'm not

1170
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 1: gonna cat I say, you know what I mean, Like

1171
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,919
Speaker 1: I'd be like nigga, please, like you know what I'm saying.

1172
01:07:15,920 --> 01:07:18,600
Speaker 1: But like if I'm like, if I'm in a public space,

1173
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: I am more cautious of how I use that. And

1174
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:23,720
Speaker 1: I do call people brother like whenever I see like

1175
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 1: another like guy, but like your brother. You know what

1176
01:07:25,960 --> 01:07:31,280
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like brother, right, Yeah, But it's like for me,

1177
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:36,040
Speaker 1: like the modern gentleman has to always be you always

1178
01:07:36,160 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: have to be kind no matter where you are, Like

1179
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:43,280
Speaker 1: your initial thought process is, no matter how I'm feeling,

1180
01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,040
Speaker 1: somebody else is probably dealing with worse right and you

1181
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 1: And whenever you leave your bubble, whenever you leave your car,

1182
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:54,360
Speaker 1: wherever you leave your house, you not You not only

1183
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,440
Speaker 1: have to be on guard, but you have to be

1184
01:07:56,520 --> 01:07:59,360
Speaker 1: kind to everybody else around because it could just take

1185
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,840
Speaker 1: one thing for you to be in a bad mood

1186
01:08:03,040 --> 01:08:06,160
Speaker 1: and you not and you bump into somebody and you

1187
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:08,840
Speaker 1: have words, and that could be the end of that

1188
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 1: could be the end of your life. Dude. And I

1189
01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 1: think about this a lot. I'm like, do I do

1190
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,680
Speaker 1: Do I really want my daughter daughters to not have

1191
01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:22,960
Speaker 1: a dad because somebody cut you off? Somebody? Yeah, it's

1192
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:25,519
Speaker 1: like small things like that you should like you should,

1193
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 1: but let it go because chances of you seeing that

1194
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:34,360
Speaker 1: person again and in traffic very unlikely. But it's no

1195
01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:43,040
Speaker 1: really easy way to say this. Alright, So we have

1196
01:08:43,240 --> 01:08:51,679
Speaker 1: this segment on our show called SIMP Series. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright,

1197
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,479
Speaker 1: so we want you to share with us a tale

1198
01:08:55,160 --> 01:08:58,920
Speaker 1: of when you got played by a woman, Like what happened?

1199
01:08:59,360 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 1: Oh oh Jesus, okay, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, Um,

1200
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:09,280
Speaker 1: so in college I definitely got it played. So I

1201
01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:13,640
Speaker 1: was dating this girl. Uh, she was from Russia. So

1202
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:15,719
Speaker 1: there was like a little bit of like a language barrier,

1203
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,600
Speaker 1: like a little bit a small one. Like she was

1204
01:09:18,040 --> 01:09:20,559
Speaker 1: like she had just come come from Russia but maybe

1205
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:23,680
Speaker 1: a year in a year into the States, and she

1206
01:09:23,920 --> 01:09:26,600
Speaker 1: was a little fluid in like English, but like she

1207
01:09:26,760 --> 01:09:28,760
Speaker 1: was getting better and stuff, right, Like there was still

1208
01:09:29,040 --> 01:09:32,240
Speaker 1: certain terms that she didn't understand and stuff. Right, So

1209
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:36,439
Speaker 1: there was there's sometimes I put the fact that she

1210
01:09:36,520 --> 01:09:38,599
Speaker 1: played me on the language barrier, But that ship wasn't

1211
01:09:38,640 --> 01:09:40,679
Speaker 1: it that that did do what she was doing round

1212
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:42,360
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like she knew what she

1213
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,479
Speaker 1: was doing, right. So I dated her for about a

1214
01:09:45,680 --> 01:09:48,519
Speaker 1: year and a half and during the time I was

1215
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:52,639
Speaker 1: dating her, you know, um, we will always eat lunch

1216
01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:56,400
Speaker 1: at the US Rush Russell House, which if you are

1217
01:09:56,479 --> 01:09:59,280
Speaker 1: you are you familiar with? Yeah, So we always eat

1218
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 1: lunch there, right, And she was always very particular about

1219
01:10:03,960 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 1: a certain time that like we had to eat because

1220
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,720
Speaker 1: she had class. Right, I'm all right, all right, so

1221
01:10:08,840 --> 01:10:11,400
Speaker 1: we can go there, right. So we go there and

1222
01:10:11,520 --> 01:10:13,080
Speaker 1: we eat, and she said, all right, I have to go.

1223
01:10:13,640 --> 01:10:16,080
Speaker 1: I I got to go to class. Da da dada. Right,

1224
01:10:16,080 --> 01:10:18,960
Speaker 1: I'm okay, Well I'm gonna finish up here. And she's like, well,

1225
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,720
Speaker 1: how long are you gonna be How long are you

1226
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:22,640
Speaker 1: gonna be here? Because don't you have to go to

1227
01:10:22,800 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 1: your to your class? To him, like why is she

1228
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,080
Speaker 1: suppressed about what I'm gonna do? Like she has to

1229
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:30,800
Speaker 1: go to class, right. So I'm sitting there eating and

1230
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:34,559
Speaker 1: I'm not thinking anything about it because I actually believe

1231
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:36,640
Speaker 1: that she's in class, right, Like I believe she's like

1232
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:41,120
Speaker 1: really in class. So I go to mick Master to

1233
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:44,639
Speaker 1: my art class, and my art professor had to cancel class.

1234
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:46,599
Speaker 1: So I'm like, all right, I'll just go walk around

1235
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:49,599
Speaker 1: campus for a little bit blay some time and tell

1236
01:10:49,640 --> 01:10:52,200
Speaker 1: him and tell my other class starts and I go

1237
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:55,120
Speaker 1: on the horse shoe and I see this girl on

1238
01:10:55,240 --> 01:10:58,600
Speaker 1: a blanket on the horse shoe on top of a

1239
01:10:58,720 --> 01:11:03,479
Speaker 1: man kissing him. Right, So I'm like looking at the thing,

1240
01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:08,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, is that now, I'm like sitting on the core.

1241
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:10,320
Speaker 1: I'm like no, she says she had class, that can't

1242
01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:17,200
Speaker 1: be her, right, So I text her right, sister her right,

1243
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:20,920
Speaker 1: And then I watched her look at the phone and

1244
01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:27,840
Speaker 1: she puts it up. I'm like, I'm like, okay, yeah,

1245
01:11:28,320 --> 01:11:31,680
Speaker 1: it really really did. Right. So at that point, you know,

1246
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,519
Speaker 1: most guys would have went up to her confronted her

1247
01:11:34,680 --> 01:11:37,519
Speaker 1: then and there. Right, I was like, let me see

1248
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:40,240
Speaker 1: if I asked her about it what she says, right,

1249
01:11:40,320 --> 01:11:41,920
Speaker 1: Because I just want to see a secul lote of me.

1250
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:44,120
Speaker 1: Obviously I don't seeing a lot of me, But what

1251
01:11:44,360 --> 01:11:45,800
Speaker 1: is she going to actually tell me? Right? Because I

1252
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:48,840
Speaker 1: was just curious of where her mindset was going to

1253
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 1: actually be. So later on she texted me like nine

1254
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 1: something that night was like, oh my god, has been

1255
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:57,360
Speaker 1: such a busy day. I'm like, okay, yeah, I bet

1256
01:11:57,439 --> 01:11:59,439
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm like, so, how is

1257
01:11:59,479 --> 01:12:01,479
Speaker 1: your class? She was like it was great, Like I

1258
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 1: got so much work I have to do. Listen that

1259
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:06,640
Speaker 1: I said, were you at the Horse Shoe today, like

1260
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:10,280
Speaker 1: during like after you know, after we had lunch. She

1261
01:12:10,439 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 1: was like horsehoe. I said, like question Mark like questioned me,

1262
01:12:14,080 --> 01:12:20,960
Speaker 1: like horseho cors Mark said yes. I'm like I'm like, yes,

1263
01:12:21,160 --> 01:12:23,640
Speaker 1: the horse Shoe, like the place that has grassed that

1264
01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,560
Speaker 1: you like hang out with the stuff. And she's like

1265
01:12:25,680 --> 01:12:28,960
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no right. So I'm like I call her, right,

1266
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:32,639
Speaker 1: I call her immediately. I'm like, she's like, what's wrong?

1267
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:36,479
Speaker 1: I said, Natalie, listen. I was like, I saw you

1268
01:12:36,760 --> 01:12:39,120
Speaker 1: at the Horse Shoe on a Blake card with another

1269
01:12:39,200 --> 01:12:43,160
Speaker 1: dude and she's like no, no, no, no, no no.

1270
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:47,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that was you, And I like I

1271
01:12:47,479 --> 01:12:50,840
Speaker 1: felt so play because it's like she met all of

1272
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:53,559
Speaker 1: my roommates, my friends, and it's like I gotta tell

1273
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:58,439
Speaker 1: my friends, like bro. Girl was like yeah. I was

1274
01:12:58,520 --> 01:13:01,000
Speaker 1: like whoa. I was like, girl was really out here

1275
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 1: like dogging me, like she really out here, like you're

1276
01:13:04,479 --> 01:13:10,080
Speaker 1: me wrong? You know. I glad it wasn't a white woman.

1277
01:13:10,120 --> 01:13:15,719
Speaker 1: I did it, yeah, and honestly, like honestly, like luckily

1278
01:13:15,800 --> 01:13:17,880
Speaker 1: for me, I wasn't in love you know what I mean.

1279
01:13:17,960 --> 01:13:20,360
Speaker 1: I kind of was like, like, like, even though I

1280
01:13:20,479 --> 01:13:22,519
Speaker 1: dated her for like a year and some change, I

1281
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:26,240
Speaker 1: wasn't like in in in love with her. So I

1282
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,360
Speaker 1: was a little upset. But at the end, but at

1283
01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:30,160
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I was like, now I

1284
01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,880
Speaker 1: could truly live the college experience and I can. I

1285
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:37,479
Speaker 1: can be I can be this college board. I want

1286
01:13:37,520 --> 01:13:43,320
Speaker 1: to be exactly right, Yeah, exactly you can. You can

1287
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:45,080
Speaker 1: be the guy you were trying to be in seventh

1288
01:13:45,080 --> 01:14:00,240
Speaker 1: grade getting in bad grades. Noies, I love it all right,

1289
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:02,400
Speaker 1: Let's thank you, Calvin. I really really enjoyed you had

1290
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,280
Speaker 1: any of my question. Stam No, I was just gonna

1291
01:14:04,320 --> 01:14:07,280
Speaker 1: ask them to like just leave our listeners some with

1292
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,080
Speaker 1: some advice, especially our gentlemen. Listeners are men who want

1293
01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:13,800
Speaker 1: to be gentlemen. You know what advice would you want

1294
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,439
Speaker 1: to give them? The advice iver want to give them

1295
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:19,639
Speaker 1: is to be who you are and do not feed

1296
01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:23,960
Speaker 1: into your like to what your friend group or what

1297
01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:28,400
Speaker 1: other men defined as being masculine. And it's okay for

1298
01:14:28,520 --> 01:14:30,680
Speaker 1: you to have feelings. It's okay for you to be

1299
01:14:30,880 --> 01:14:32,720
Speaker 1: who you are, and it's okay for you to like

1300
01:14:32,840 --> 01:14:35,360
Speaker 1: the things that you do. It doesn't make you less

1301
01:14:35,400 --> 01:14:37,720
Speaker 1: of a man, It doesn't make you less of a

1302
01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,560
Speaker 1: black man, It doesn't make you any of that. And

1303
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:43,519
Speaker 1: another thing I want to leave people with is if

1304
01:14:43,560 --> 01:14:45,720
Speaker 1: you have a dream, And I know people say this

1305
01:14:46,080 --> 01:14:48,759
Speaker 1: cliche thing all the time, if you have a dream,

1306
01:14:49,200 --> 01:14:52,639
Speaker 1: follow it, do everything you can. But I really tell

1307
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:56,799
Speaker 1: people like, you really gotta if you really have a dream,

1308
01:14:57,360 --> 01:14:59,840
Speaker 1: you really gotta do. You really gotta do that ship

1309
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,479
Speaker 1: because the worst thing for me is that if I

1310
01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 1: would have never went after this dream, I would still

1311
01:15:06,560 --> 01:15:10,360
Speaker 1: be somewhere teaching art, being probably custad by somebody's mama,

1312
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,400
Speaker 1: watching somebody else live the life that I wanted to

1313
01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:18,840
Speaker 1: And that to me, like it is the most like

1314
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:23,360
Speaker 1: heart wrenching thing. And I also want to tell the

1315
01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:26,160
Speaker 1: last thing, the last thing. If you think the price

1316
01:15:26,240 --> 01:15:29,240
Speaker 1: of winning is too high, just wait until you get

1317
01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:33,120
Speaker 1: the bill from regret. You know what I mean, because

1318
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:36,639
Speaker 1: that bill from regret will hurt you a lot more

1319
01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:38,920
Speaker 1: than the price that you would ever pay for winning.

1320
01:15:44,240 --> 01:15:47,760
Speaker 1: You got that out that book, don't be a same? Yeah?

1321
01:15:53,600 --> 01:15:58,000
Speaker 1: Can you tag like your social media telling? Yeah? So

1322
01:15:58,760 --> 01:16:01,080
Speaker 1: you can find me on Instagram I'm at Calvin Davis

1323
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:05,000
Speaker 1: all one word. My blog is No Tourist Dapper dot com.

1324
01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:08,640
Speaker 1: The book is also called No Torst Dapper How to

1325
01:16:08,720 --> 01:16:11,240
Speaker 1: be a Modern Gentleman with Men of Telling Body Confidence.

1326
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:14,719
Speaker 1: And you can find me on Facebook at nors Dapper

1327
01:16:15,280 --> 01:16:19,000
Speaker 1: and Twitter at y'all listen. If you enjoyed this episode,

1328
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:21,400
Speaker 1: please tune in every Thursday on the I Heart Radio

1329
01:16:21,439 --> 01:16:24,080
Speaker 1: Apple Wherever the fun you get your podcast that. This

1330
01:16:24,160 --> 01:16:26,960
Speaker 1: is your co host, AJ Holiday two point oh. Y'all

1331
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:30,400
Speaker 1: follow me on Instagram. Check out our new website as

1332
01:16:30,479 --> 01:16:34,040
Speaker 1: we talk back I n T dot com. All that

1333
01:16:34,120 --> 01:16:37,000
Speaker 1: good ship and make sure you're sending them some stories. Okay,

1334
01:16:37,320 --> 01:16:40,639
Speaker 1: it's a custom season right now? Do that, um dumb

1335
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:42,880
Speaker 1: bitch stories. Ask a black friend all that good ship?

1336
01:16:42,920 --> 01:16:45,640
Speaker 1: What you guys? Sam, y'all, it's me official Tam Bam.

1337
01:16:45,760 --> 01:16:47,639
Speaker 1: Y'all follow me on Instagram. I love y'all. Thank y'all

1338
01:16:47,680 --> 01:16:50,479
Speaker 1: for tuning in once again, Remember to speak now and

1339
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:54,400
Speaker 1: never hold your piece by