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Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the

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Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you

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Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you're going through a breakup, maybe you're.

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Speaker 1: Having issues with your family, or maybe you need help

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Speaker 1: figuring out how to balance your checkbook or how to

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Speaker 1: start a business. What arever the cases I want to

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Speaker 1: hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts and opinions.

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Speaker 1: And if you're suffering from an issue or hardship, you

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Speaker 1: should seek help from a qualified professional. All right, now,

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Speaker 1: go ahead and leave your question at the sound of

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Speaker 1: the beat.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Cheeky's. My name is grise Dan. I'm one of

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Speaker 3: your biggest fans. I've been following you for a long

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Speaker 3: long time now. I admire everything you do. I love

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Speaker 3: going to your concert, I love watching you. I love

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Speaker 3: seeing everything new that you have chickasing Field, throw your podcasts.

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Speaker 3: I recently lost ninety pounds and I know you have

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Speaker 3: too recently lost a lot of weight, and so my

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Speaker 3: question to you is do you think that a life

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Speaker 3: and the way that you see life and the way

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Speaker 3: that people treat you has been different?

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Speaker 4: Now?

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Speaker 3: That you've lost weight, and what tips can you give

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Speaker 3: someone who's recently lost weight and who but who's changed

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Speaker 3: their life? Because what can you tell someone repetto? And

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Speaker 3: I really hope I can see you soon.

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Speaker 5: Bye.

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Speaker 1: I love you, oh CHRISTI, and thank you so much,

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Speaker 1: and thank you for being you know, a boss B.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that very much. And it's a very very

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Speaker 1: interesting question. I kind of talked about it a little

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Speaker 1: bit on one of my episodes on Cheese and Chew.

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Speaker 1: But yes, people definitely treat you different.

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Speaker 2: When you've lost.

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Speaker 1: Weight or when you are not a size twelve. I

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Speaker 1: guess because I was a size ten twelve and I

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Speaker 1: did notice a big difference once I lost weight. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: we live in a very superficial world and people think

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Speaker 1: that beauty is being a size two and four, and

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Speaker 1: that's beautiful two, But so is being a size fifteen,

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Speaker 1: a size sixteen. And I know it's gonna sound cliche,

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Speaker 1: but real beauty, beauty that lasts, does really come from

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Speaker 1: the heart and what you think and how you carry yourself,

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Speaker 1: because that's what's gonna last. This is gonna go away

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Speaker 1: one day, it's your spirit. But anyways, I feel like

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Speaker 1: you also get more opportunities being I guess on the

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Speaker 1: lighter side of things, it's very sad and it's very

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Speaker 1: unfortunate because I've decided that I want to stay with

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Speaker 1: the people that loved me when I was two hundred

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Speaker 1: and six pounds. It's like, those are the people, are

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Speaker 1: the real people, and not the people that are trying

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Speaker 1: to be my friend and tell me, oh, now you're pretty.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, now you look beautiful, and it's just like

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Speaker 1: what But anyways, the best thing is congratulations actually, by

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Speaker 1: the way, for losing ninety pounds. I mean, that is

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Speaker 1: amazing and more than anything, because of our health, we

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Speaker 1: feel better. You have more energy, and that's the reason

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Speaker 1: why I also wanted to lose weight and I went

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Speaker 1: on this whole journey because I wanted to just feel

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Speaker 1: better physically and have more energy and all that stuff.

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Speaker 2: And I do and I really really do. So I

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Speaker 2: hope that you feel the same.

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Speaker 1: And I mean advice, honestly, it's just make it a lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: Don't let it be just something that happened. Make it

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Speaker 1: a lifestyle. Make changes for long term, and yeah, just

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Speaker 1: ignore those people that are now trying to maybe be

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Speaker 1: your friend or come into your life or you know,

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Speaker 1: just you know. I I'm like, oh, I'm keep you

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Speaker 1: right there arms length the way. It'll be nice, but

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Speaker 1: you ain't coming in here, you know, in this inner circle.

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Speaker 1: And also Crisian, before I let you go, there is

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Speaker 1: an episode on Cheeky's and Chill called My Weight Loss Journey,

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Speaker 1: so check it out and you can. I spoke about

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Speaker 1: it a little bit more in detail. Okay, So wishing

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Speaker 1: you the best. Thank you so much for your question.

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Speaker 2: Okay, our next question comes from Delilah.

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Speaker 6: Excuse, I just wanted to say I love you and

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Speaker 6: I love your mom so much. I here watching you guys.

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Speaker 6: So I have two things.

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Speaker 7: Number One, I just got a brand new car Freeze

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Speaker 7: out of the dealership. I literally crashed while parking. I

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Speaker 7: was entering a parking lot and while entering a parking

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Speaker 7: space on my work. I hate one of my coworkers cars. Now,

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Speaker 7: I've been driving for four years, I'm twenty one. I've

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Speaker 7: always gotten used to driving bigger cars and this is

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Speaker 7: my first smaller car. And now, like this entire week,

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Speaker 7: I've just felt so discussive with myself. It was one

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Speaker 7: time I look at the car, I feel discussed with myself.

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Speaker 7: I have so much anxiety. I almost cried every single

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Speaker 7: day coming into work like I did. The joy of

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Speaker 7: the new car is gone. I feel like everyone in the.

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Speaker 6: Office hates me. I don't know how to not feel

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Speaker 6: like that. So because give me advice on how to

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Speaker 6: not feel like that.

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Speaker 7: And second of all, secondly, I made a friend of

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Speaker 7: college and we text a lot, but I feel like

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Speaker 7: anytime I open my heart about something about that something

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Speaker 7: that's heavy in my heart, like she just says, Dann girl,

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Speaker 7: I'm sorry. Like I feel like we can't have any

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Speaker 7: heartfelt conversations. And anytime she told me something that's heavy,

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Speaker 7: I like sit there and I ask her how she

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Speaker 7: is and blah blah blah, but she just wants to

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Speaker 7: talk about like random stuff, nothing that's like deep, deep stuff.

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Speaker 7: And I don't know if I if that's like a

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Speaker 7: good friendship or not. Because I'm the type of person

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Speaker 7: that I like to talk about deep stuff and open

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Speaker 7: my heart about something.

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Speaker 6: She just is like, Dann girl, I'm sorry, And it

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Speaker 6: makes me feel like do you not care?

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Speaker 7: Or like I don't know if I should be friends

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Speaker 7: with someone that is not as deep and heartful like me.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Delilah. First of all, I'm really sorry that you

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Speaker 1: crush your car. I know that sucks. I know, but

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Speaker 1: you know what, when things like that happen, I always

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Speaker 1: think of like it's a material something, a goal. It's

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Speaker 1: a material thing that you can fix. Yes, it sucks.

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Speaker 1: It was a brand new car. And I don't think

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Speaker 1: everyone in the office hates you. I mean, accidents happen.

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Speaker 1: It's not like you did it intentionally, like you want

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Speaker 1: to crash your car, like you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: Like it it's a brand new car, and shit happens.

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Speaker 1: You know, as long as you apologize and you take

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Speaker 1: responsibility and you take care of the other person's car

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Speaker 1: and you know all that stuff, I think what's going

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Speaker 1: to help you feel better in that sense is just knowing,

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Speaker 1: Thank goodness, I'm okay, the other person's okay.

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Speaker 2: Nothing happened. It could have been worse.

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Speaker 1: And if people don't like you because of that, then

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Speaker 1: you don't need those people in your life because everyone

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Speaker 1: makes mistakes and you made a mistake and that's that.

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Speaker 1: And then in regards to your friend, look, I don't

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Speaker 1: think your friend is a bad friend necessarily. I think

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Speaker 1: that you should have friends and know that you have

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Speaker 1: friends for everything. I know what friend to go to

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Speaker 1: when I need to have a deep ass conversation. I

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Speaker 1: know that I have a friend that is fun and

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Speaker 1: we go drinking and we have surface level conversations. You

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Speaker 1: seem to be a person of substance. I don't think

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Speaker 1: this is your only friend, and I don't think that

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Speaker 1: you need to unfriend her. Is just know this is

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Speaker 1: my friend for this. But if you feel a little

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Speaker 1: bit like bankrupt, like you're feeling her cup more than

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Speaker 1: she's feeling yours, then that's a different story.

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Speaker 2: But really think about it. Does she fill your cup

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Speaker 2: in other ways? Is she fun? Is she a good time?

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Speaker 2: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like, you just have to kind of figure that out.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think she's a bad person. I don't

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Speaker 1: think that you need to unfriend her. It's just she

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Speaker 1: maybe doesn't even know how to go about giving people

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Speaker 1: the advice. Some people aren't good at that. Some people

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Speaker 1: are just good at listening and just say hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry you're going through that, but hey, this is

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Speaker 1: what's going on with me, and you may feel like, oh,

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Speaker 1: how selfish, But sometimes they don't know how to give

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Speaker 1: it advice, and you can't blame them for that, you know,

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Speaker 1: So maybe you know, find another friend to.

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Speaker 2: Have a deep conversation with.

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Speaker 1: That's my advice to you, Miss Delilah, and I hope

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Speaker 1: it helped. Okay, moving on to the next question. It

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Speaker 1: is from an anonymous listener. Let's see, Hi Kei Key's.

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Speaker 4: First of all, I just want to say that I

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Speaker 4: really am a big fan and supporter of you and

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Speaker 4: your mom and your siblings.

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Speaker 2: You you guys are just.

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Speaker 4: Product of an angel and I respect you guys so

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Speaker 4: much as a unit of siblings. So keep doing what

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Speaker 4: you're doing. But really I kind of wanted to hear

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Speaker 4: your thoughts on.

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Speaker 2: What you would recommend.

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Speaker 4: I have been married for five years. We've been together

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Speaker 4: and we have three kids together, but recently we just

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Speaker 4: bought a house. Work is very, very busy for the

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Speaker 4: both of us, thank god, but our marriage, our relationship

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Speaker 4: just isn't the same, you know. I feel that we

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Speaker 4: are both placing our marriage the last on the priority list,

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Speaker 4: and that's not how it was. Your relationship with the

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Speaker 4: media really is a good example what we used.

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Speaker 2: To be in the beginning.

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Speaker 4: We respect each other and we you know, we're always

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Speaker 4: each other's number one fans. But now, just because life

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Speaker 4: is so hectic and so busy, it almost feels like

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Speaker 4: neither one of us is putting in the effort for

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Speaker 4: our relationship. With three kids, businesses, it's gotten crazy. So

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Speaker 4: you know, what would you suggest, I know, you know,

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Speaker 4: making time for each other, possibly even seeking therapy so

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Speaker 4: that we can become one with ourselves and then eventually

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Speaker 4: with one another. But yeah, just any thoughts or words

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Speaker 4: of advice would be helpful.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much, you know, my beautiful and I

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Speaker 2: am miss listener.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I love starting with first of all,

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Speaker 1: but my relationship with the media is fairly new, you know,

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Speaker 1: and we're going in four years. We it's been months

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Speaker 1: that we've been married. So you also have to understand

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Speaker 1: that every relationship goes through seasons, and it's what you

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Speaker 1: do in those tough seasons, in those seasons of darkness,

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Speaker 1: what to do about it. I think you taking the

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Speaker 1: first step of asking. I mean, you answered your own question,

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Speaker 1: by the way, and I'm gonna I'm gonna get there

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Speaker 1: right now. But I think you just need to hear

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Speaker 1: from someone else, maybe someone that isn't necessarily in So

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be as honest as I possibly can. I

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Speaker 1: think it's great that you guys are busy and life

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Speaker 1: is seems like it's thriving. You have three beautiful children,

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Speaker 1: you have businesses, and that's great. I think that if

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Speaker 1: both of you have not made the relationship a priority,

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Speaker 1: one of you has to take action. So it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be you, and you have to be okay with that.

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Speaker 1: You have to find the time and make the time,

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Speaker 1: and your relationship should be number two on your priority

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Speaker 1: of yeah, number two. Really it should be God, and

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Speaker 1: then your relationship and then your kids. Why because your

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Speaker 1: kids are gonna grow up later and they're gonna start

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Speaker 1: their own lives some pristalos, you know, and and and

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Speaker 1: you have to make your relationship a priority. How can

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Speaker 1: you do that? Yes, definitely therapy.

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Speaker 2: You said it. Therapy is saved my life.

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Speaker 1: And I'm sure that Emilia and I are gonna and

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Speaker 1: we still do have rough patches, and it's not you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm honest with you, guys. I tell you,

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Speaker 1: guys the issues that we've had. So anyways, I think

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Speaker 1: that therapy has to be a part of every relationship

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Speaker 1: and a part of our individual lives.

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Speaker 2: To be whole, you know.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, definitely therapy, but I think you need to

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Speaker 1: set up a date night without the kids, get a babysitter.

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Speaker 1: The businesses can wait, and you have to start dating

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Speaker 1: each other again, start doing things. Remember the things that

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Speaker 1: you guys had fun doing together when the kids weren't around,

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Speaker 1: you know, And it could be anything like go back

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Speaker 1: to those moments and say, Okay, I have to rekindle this.

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Speaker 1: I have to like spark it up again. So you're

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Speaker 1: gonna have to take action. Someone has to take action.

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Speaker 1: You can't just sit there and expect him to do

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Speaker 1: it like you. Also, this is your relationship and you

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Speaker 1: have a responsibility in it, So I would say set

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Speaker 1: up first things. First, set up a date night, have

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Speaker 1: a nice time, have a couple of dreams. He's your friend,

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Speaker 1: remember that, and then say hey, I want to do

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Speaker 1: therapy together. Hopefully he says yes, because that'll be a

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Speaker 1: great sign. If he says no, then that's really going

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Speaker 1: to disppoint me. So I really hope even if it's

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Speaker 1: through zoom something where you guys could just release your feelings.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he's harboring feelings that you don't know about you

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Speaker 1: guys have to communicate. There is still hope. There's still hope,

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Speaker 1: and I'm really hoping.

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Speaker 2: That it gets better. So our next question and our

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Speaker 2: last question comes from Lizzie.

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Speaker 5: Hi Cheeky's. First off, I want to say how much

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Speaker 5: of a huge fan I am to you and your family.

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Speaker 5: My question that I have for you is, I have

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Speaker 5: a twenty one year old daughter and our relationship is terrible.

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Speaker 5: I had spent twenty two years with married to her father,

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Speaker 5: which he was very abusive, controlling, and just you know,

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Speaker 5: bad relationship. Will I finally decided to leave after twenty

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Speaker 5: two years, and since then she seems to put the

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Speaker 5: blame on me and she sees her father and a

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Speaker 5: perfect light that he never had any issues since I

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Speaker 5: did my best to try to make sure that the

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Speaker 5: kids were not seeing the abuse, the hitting and so forth.

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Speaker 5: So my question to you is how can I help

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Speaker 5: heal our relationship to where she no longer has this

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Speaker 5: hatred towards me for what has happened. There's also younger

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Speaker 5: siblings involved, which we're trying to make sure that they

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Speaker 5: are in a better situation and co parenting is going

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Speaker 5: as smooth as possible. But right now it's difficult, so

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Speaker 5: please any advice will greatly help. Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Oh Lizzie.

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Speaker 1: First of all, you're a great mother because you not

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Speaker 1: telling your children everything that you went through and what

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Speaker 1: their father was doing. That says a lot about you.

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Speaker 1: Your daughter is now old enough to know the truth,

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Speaker 1: and I think that if you haven't, maybe you can

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Speaker 1: have a conversation with her and ask her to understand

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Speaker 1: you as a woman that if she had a daughter,

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Speaker 1: would she want that for her daughter or if she

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Speaker 1: was in that situation, what would she do, And maybe

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Speaker 1: be honest and also say, I'm not saying for you

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Speaker 1: to hate your father. You should love him no matter what.

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Speaker 1: He's a good father. He just wasn't a good husband

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Speaker 1: and leave it at that. Maybe speaking to your ex

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Speaker 1: husband and telling him, hey, help me out with our

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Speaker 1: child here. I don't know if he speaks badly about you,

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Speaker 1: but he needs to bring in some light, shed some

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Speaker 1: light into this relationship. And he should do his end

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Speaker 1: as well, because he obviously did things that he wasn't

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Speaker 1: supposed to, so he needs to help clean up the

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Speaker 1: mess a little bit. And again, you guys know, I'm

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Speaker 1: a huge advocate for therapy. Therapy helps so much. So

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Speaker 1: if you and your daughter can go to therapy with

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Speaker 1: someone there to just kind of mediate and where you,

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Speaker 1: guys can safely express your feelings, I.

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Speaker 2: Think that'll also help.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's just also going to take life

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Speaker 1: and growing up and maturing on your daughter's part to

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Speaker 1: understand you as a woman, because I think she's just

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Speaker 1: seeing it as a daughter and she's hurt and she

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Speaker 1: wants to see her family together, so you have to

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Speaker 1: understand that as well. But as a woman, she will

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Speaker 1: understand and you just have to be patient and compassionate.

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Speaker 1: But I think it's time to maybe tell her some

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Speaker 1: of the ugly truth. I hope that helped you.

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Speaker 2: Guys.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your questions. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: always tuning in to Dear Cheeky's. If you still haven't

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Speaker 1: asked me a question, you can be an anonymous question

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Speaker 1: ask her a person. You don't have to give me

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Speaker 1: your name. If you want to change your voice, go ahead.

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Speaker 1: I'd love to help you and give you an advice

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Speaker 1: on anything. So you can leave your question at speakpipe

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Speaker 1: dot com, slash Cheekys and Chill podcast osmucho and I

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Speaker 1: will catch you here on the next episode.

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Speaker 2: Of Dear Cheeky's peace Out Guys.

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Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and Mike Withura podcast Network.

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