Speaker 1: Welcome to Criminalia, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Today. If you're asked to think of a tractor, most
Speaker 2: of us probably imagine a large farm vehicle. But in
Speaker 2: the late eighteenth century, a physician named Elijah Perkins made
Speaker 2: and sold a different kind of tractor, a device consisting
Speaker 2: of small metal rods that could cure you simply through touch.
Speaker 2: The Perkins patent Metallic Instruments, or Perkins tractors, as they
Speaker 2: became popularly known, were sold as a pair for twenty
Speaker 2: five continental dollars in the United States and five guineas
Speaker 2: in Britain. For some perspective on those numbers, that's a
Speaker 2: few hundred in today's purchase price, and for several years
Speaker 2: people were mad for them. Welcome to Criminalia, I'm Maria Tremarky.
Speaker 1: And I'm Holly Frye. Elisha Perkins's story begins in Connecticut.
Speaker 1: He was born in January of seventeen forty one to
Speaker 1: Joseph Perkins and Mary Bushnall. Joseph was a well respected
Speaker 1: Yale educated physician, and he educated his son in medicine.
Speaker 1: Elisha served as his father's assistant while also gaining knowledge
Speaker 1: in the field. The age of twenty, the young doctor
Speaker 1: Perkins established his own practice in Plainfield, Connecticut, less than
Speaker 1: twenty miles from home. He very quickly gained a respectable
Speaker 1: number of patients and was known to be both a
Speaker 1: hard worker and in general a reliable guide. He's described
Speaker 1: in the New York Medical and Physical Journal as having
Speaker 1: been quote possessed by nature uncommon endowments, both bodily and
Speaker 1: mental in his person. He was six feet high and
Speaker 1: of remarkable symmetry. His ability to perform active professional business
Speaker 1: was extraordinary. He frequently rode sixty miles a day, and
Speaker 1: generally on horseback, and this without the aid of artificial stimulants,
Speaker 1: never made making use of ardent spirits.
Speaker 2: It was in his practice in Plainfield when Perkins made
Speaker 2: an observation that changed his life. He quote discovered that
Speaker 2: by drawing over the parts of the body affected in
Speaker 2: particular directions, certain instruments formed from metallic substances into certain
Speaker 2: shapes could remove most kinds of painful topical affections. Now
Speaker 2: that language is a little nebulous. Without more details, we know,
Speaker 2: so here's what's what.
Speaker 1: Though he would later be shamed by his peers for
Speaker 1: his invention. Perkins came to his tractors through good faith,
Speaker 1: or at least he seems to have. His idea was
Speaker 1: based on an observation he had while performing surgery on
Speaker 1: a patient. He noted how a muscle would contract whenever
Speaker 1: he touched it with the point of a metallic instrument,
Speaker 1: and he believed that contraction was the result of muscles
Speaker 1: excreting toxic electrical fluid. Okay, your body's muscles do contract
Speaker 1: and relax based on electrical charges, but this is not
Speaker 1: the same thing. He also saw a similar pain response
Speaker 1: in patients when he applied metallic instruments to inflamed tumors
Speaker 1: before he cut into them, and all of this gave
Speaker 1: him a light bulb moment.
Speaker 2: Perkins believed with this discovery he could cure rheumatism, gout,
Speaker 2: and pain resulting from headaches toothicks, sprains, burns. That's all
Speaker 2: just part of a long list. He didn't just up
Speaker 2: and run away with his half baked idea, though. He
Speaker 2: took his observations seriously and took an empiricist role in
Speaker 2: analyzing his experiential evidence. Though it didn't help in the end.
Speaker 2: His next step was to experiment with different metals to
Speaker 2: see which, if any, worked better than others, and if
Speaker 2: any other materials such as wood, had any benefits too.
Speaker 2: It took him several years of experimentation before he settled
Speaker 2: on brass and iron for his device.
Speaker 1: In seventeen ninety six, Perkins began selling to his patient
Speaker 1: and to the public a new therapeutic device that he
Speaker 1: called the Perkins Tractors. The product, which he patented in
Speaker 1: February that year, was made up of two rods and
Speaker 1: described as quote half rounded on one side while the
Speaker 1: other was flat, usually had the name Perkins Patent Tractors
Speaker 1: stamped upon it. They were rounded at one end and
Speaker 1: drawn out into a sharp point at the other, and
Speaker 1: resembled a horseshoe nail in appearance. So each of these
Speaker 1: rods was about three inches long. And we mentioned earlier
Speaker 1: that one rod was made of brass and the other
Speaker 1: was made of iron. While that's true, technically, Perkins decided
Speaker 1: one would be made of an alloy of zinc and copper.
Speaker 1: Those two combined make up brass plus gold and the
Speaker 1: other of iron plus silver and platinum. And this whole
Speaker 1: thing worked like this. The tractors were intended to be
Speaker 1: applied to the head, face, feet, breast, side, stomach, and
Speaker 1: back to quote draw off the noxious electrical fluid that
Speaker 1: lay at the root of suffering. When applying it to
Speaker 1: his patients, Perkins drew at points over the affected areas
Speaker 1: of the body in a downward direction, and this whole
Speaker 1: process took about twenty minutes.
Speaker 2: He promoted the tractors as a simple cure ale and
Speaker 2: that you didn't need to see a doctor for treatment.
Speaker 2: Anyone could use them right at home. They became so
Speaker 2: popular and trendy that people began using all sorts of
Speaker 2: things to pay for a pair of their own, from
Speaker 2: trading property to offering horses as currency. Perkins had investors too.
Speaker 2: We know of at least one man in Virginia who
Speaker 2: sold his plantation and invested everything in the product.
Speaker 1: If you're thinking, wait, that's it, Yeah, that's right, Yes,
Speaker 1: that is all that it was. By just touching two
Speaker 1: short rods to the afflicted area of your body, poof
Speaker 1: your symptoms would disappear. For what it's worth, he claimed,
Speaker 1: the instruments could also be quote performed even on horses, where,
Speaker 1: of course, such influence could not be presumed to exist.
Speaker 2: The Perkins tractors were a massive hit. Historian James del
Speaker 2: Borgo notes that the device was quote disarmingly simple, and
Speaker 2: according to del Borgo, that simplicity was what made it
Speaker 2: so appealing. Keep in mind that this was a time
Speaker 2: when doctors regularly resorted to such healing measures as bleeding, blistering,
Speaker 2: and purging patients, so compared to that, Perkins tractors were
Speaker 2: a painless alternative.
Speaker 1: Perkins promoted his tractors in marketing pamphlets and newspaper advertisements.
Speaker 1: The first campaign began running in papers in early seventeen
Speaker 1: ninety seven. One spot that appeared in March of that
Speaker 1: year was published in the Aurora General Advertiser of Pennsylvania,
Speaker 1: and it read, get ready because this is a little long,
Speaker 1: but we're doing it. Quote doctor Perkins, patent metallic tractors.
Speaker 1: Doctor Perkins of this city, who has the tractor for sale,
Speaker 1: requests those persons who wish to purchase or receive information
Speaker 1: respecting their efficacy to call on him at his office
Speaker 1: number fourteen South fourth Street, between the hours of seven
Speaker 1: and nine in the morning and from two to three
Speaker 1: o'clock in the afternoon. As his professional business renders it
Speaker 1: inconvenient for him to attend at any other hour. The
Speaker 1: public may be assured that the doctor has not said
Speaker 1: more of their efficacy in his advertisements or pamphlets of
Speaker 1: certificates than their merit richly deserves. They are worthy the
Speaker 1: attention of every gentleman to keep in his family, and
Speaker 1: particularly to see farming men and planters.
Speaker 2: With his son Benjamin working with him, Perkins published not
Speaker 2: just one but a series of marketing pamphlets describing the
Speaker 2: efficacy of the tractors, and began to include testimonials from
Speaker 2: satisfied clients and patients. In his advertorial pamphlet titled Certificates
Speaker 2: of the Ethica of Doctor Perkins Patent Metallic Instruments. Testimonials
Speaker 2: included this one from William Allen, doctor of Divinity, who noted, quote,
Speaker 2: having had myself for a great many years a pair
Speaker 2: of them, if they have ever relieved pain, I have
Speaker 2: found them all so useful in picking walnuts.
Speaker 1: Prominent names who used Perkins tractors included a list of
Speaker 1: what seems like kind of anyone who's anyone? According to
Speaker 1: an article published in the Yale Journal of Biology and Medicine,
Speaker 1: quote the hospitals and infirmaries opened their doors to him,
Speaker 1: and the board of managers of the Almshouse were so
Speaker 1: impressed that they purchased the patent right for the tractors
Speaker 1: for Philadelphia. Even the President of the United States, George Washington,
Speaker 1: purchased a set for use in his own family. The
Speaker 1: Chief Justice of the United States, the Honorable Oliver Ellsworth,
Speaker 1: was convinced of their value, and he not only purchased
Speaker 1: a set, but he also gave Perkins a letter of
Speaker 1: introduction to John Marshall, who later succeeded him as Chief Justice.
Speaker 1: Marshall also similarly purchased a set of his own, and
Speaker 1: that certainly did not hurt business.
Speaker 2: At this time in his life, Perkins had a well
Speaker 2: established and successful medical practice. He had become chairman of
Speaker 2: the Wyndham County Medical Association in seventeen ninety five and
Speaker 2: was selected as a delegate to the Connecticut Medical Society.
Speaker 2: He supported higher education, and he opened his home as
Speaker 2: a hospital for those with disabilities who needed care and
Speaker 2: for those who were wealthy enough to pay for private care.
Speaker 2: He set the stage for the founding of the Perkinean
Speaker 2: Institution in London, which gave free tractor therapy to those
Speaker 2: who couldn't afford treatment, but note that it wouldn't open
Speaker 2: its doors though until after his death. His star was rising,
Speaker 2: and by all accounts, he could have had a rewarding
Speaker 2: and prosperous medical career. One of Perkins's biographers put it
Speaker 2: quite well, stating, quote, the stage seemed set for a
Speaker 2: successful career, but it was not to be. We're going
Speaker 2: to take a break forward from our sponsors, and when
Speaker 2: we return, we'll talk about the skeptics and how Perkins
Speaker 2: just kept keeping on despite them.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Criminalia. Let's talk about how while the
Speaker 1: public loved perkins tractors, other physicians weren't so sure.
Speaker 2: The thing about this story of quackery is that, as
Speaker 2: it unfolds, it's more about a medical professional who genuinely
Speaker 2: believed his bogus treatment actually had healing benefits, rather than
Speaker 2: a classic case of what we think of as snake
Speaker 2: oil products and sales. Perkins, as far as we all
Speaker 2: know about him, really did believe his tractors worked, whereas
Speaker 2: it's unlikely a snake oil salesman hawking a mixture of say, water, turpentine,
Speaker 2: and morphine believed his elixir would actually cure headaches or
Speaker 2: typhoid or anything. Perkins tractors were popular and had the
Speaker 2: public's attention as a beneficial medical device. Some of his
Speaker 2: peers endorsed his product and also sought to figure out
Speaker 2: how the heck it worked.
Speaker 1: Although the public was very into his product, there were,
Speaker 1: of course skeptics. Many physicians were already suspicious of novel
Speaker 1: medical therapies and claims made by contemporaries of Perkins, so
Speaker 1: another cual fad probably felt pretty weary. For instance, this
Speaker 1: was the time when animal magnetism, sometimes called Mesmerism, was
Speaker 1: a hot topic of conversation and a hot topic experts
Speaker 1: were trying to debunk. It was an eighteenth century theory
Speaker 1: based on Anton Mesmer's belief that all living things had
Speaker 1: magnetic fields running through them and those fields could be
Speaker 1: manipulated for healing. With a buffet of controversial medical theories
Speaker 1: at the time, perkinstractors to many seemed to be just
Speaker 1: more quote delusive quackery, and that well, that resulted in
Speaker 1: Perkins's expulsion from the Connecticut Medical Society in May of
Speaker 1: seventeen ninety seven. Even if no one could say why
Speaker 1: it didn't work, many thought the whole idea behind his
Speaker 1: tractors was just unbelievable, as detailed in a report by
Speaker 1: the Medical Repository. Quote, whereas doctor Elisha Perkins, a member
Speaker 1: of this Society, having obtained a patent from under the
Speaker 1: authority of the United States, for the exclusive privilege of
Speaker 1: using and vending certain pointed metallic instruments, pretending that they
Speaker 1: were an invention of his own, and also that they
Speaker 1: possess inherent powers of curing many disease, which is contrary
Speaker 1: to rules and regulations adopted by this Society. Therefore voted
Speaker 1: that the said Elisha Perkins be expelled from the Medical
Speaker 1: Society of the State of Connecticut.
Speaker 2: Despite the critics, business was booming in the United States
Speaker 2: and Perkins expanded while Elisha held things down in the
Speaker 2: United States. His son Benjamin opened up shop in London,
Speaker 2: making tractors available to England and the larger European market.
Speaker 2: It was reported quote. The tractors were introduced in Copenhagen
Speaker 2: in seventeen ninety eight, where twelve physicians and surgeons, chiefly
Speaker 2: professors and lecturers in the Royal Frederick's Hospital, commenced a
Speaker 2: course of experiments. The experiments fifty in number were deemed
Speaker 2: sufficiently important to demand publication. The professors introduced the term
Speaker 2: Perkinism in honor of the discoverer and asserted that it
Speaker 2: was of great importance to the physician.
Speaker 1: Like Elisha, Benjamin published marketing pamphlets to his European audience.
Speaker 1: He circulated a booklet called the Influence of Metallic Tractors
Speaker 1: on the Human Body in removing various painful inflammatory disease
Speaker 1: such as rheumatism, pleurisy, some gouty affections, etc. Lately discovered
Speaker 1: by doctor Perkins of North America and demonstrated in a
Speaker 1: series of experiments and observations by professors Meg's, Woodward, Rogers, etc.
Speaker 1: By which the importance of the discovery is fully ascertained
Speaker 1: and a new field of inquiry opened in the modern
Speaker 1: sciences of galvanism or animal electricity. Benjamin continually updated these materials,
Speaker 1: adding testimonials from people including physicians, lords and ladies, and
Speaker 1: other prominent members of society who had benefited from the product.
Speaker 1: The Observer and other London papers all printed advertisements for
Speaker 1: his pamphlets.
Speaker 2: While Benjamin was abroad. Elijah turned his focus to a
Speaker 2: serious disease that was rampant and deadly in the United
Speaker 2: States in the late seventeen hundreds, and that's yellow fever.
Speaker 2: He didn't give up on his tractors, they were still
Speaker 2: in high demand, but he was convinced that better use
Speaker 2: of antiseptics could stop yellow fever from spreading, and he
Speaker 2: offered to treat anyone suffering from it with a quote
Speaker 2: preparation of common vinegar saturated with muriate of soda, diluted
Speaker 2: with three fourths its quantity of hot water, and administered warm.
Speaker 2: So yes, that's right. His antiseptic was vinegar, which, to
Speaker 2: be fair, does have some antimicrobial properties, but nothing that
Speaker 2: would help against a virus like yellow fever, plus some
Speaker 2: salt and water. He also recommended this mixture for dysentery
Speaker 2: and sore throats, and he was overwhelmed with demand from
Speaker 2: people wanting to try his yellow fever cure.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, though, Perkins himself was stricken with the disease and
Speaker 1: his so called cure did not help him. He died
Speaker 1: in September of seventeen ninety nine, when his tractor business
Speaker 1: was actually peaking. We're going to take a break for
Speaker 1: a word from our sponsors, and when we're back. We'll
Speaker 1: talk about the fall of Perkins tractors.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to Criminalia. Let's talk about the Perkins tractors
Speaker 2: and the placebo effect.
Speaker 1: Perkins' critics and his proponents performed experiments to better understand
Speaker 1: the tractors and Perkins' theory behind the device. While they
Speaker 1: debated to disregard or to embrace his work, and despite criticism,
Speaker 1: Perkins tractors continued to be commercially successful in the United
Speaker 1: States and across the Pond for about another decade. When
Speaker 1: Benjamin returned to the United States in eighteen oh seven,
Speaker 1: it's believed he treated or at least supplied tractors to
Speaker 1: as many as one and a half million patients and
Speaker 1: made ten thousand pounds in the process. Their popularity, though
Speaker 1: waned after Benjamin's death in eighteen ten.
Speaker 2: In the end, the skeptics won, but with an interesting twist.
Speaker 2: Multiple physicians conducted tests to see if they could produce
Speaker 2: the same outcome as Perkins, and surprise, they did. London
Speaker 2: physician John Hagarth was at the forefront of this and
Speaker 2: in eighteen hundred tested the quote fictitious tractors and he
Speaker 2: found not what he expected. Haygarth performed one of the
Speaker 2: first known single blinded experiments, which means one group of
Speaker 2: subjects was treated with genuine tractors and another with objects
Speaker 2: shaped like tractors but made of something other than metal,
Speaker 2: and Haygarth was the only one who knew who got which.
Speaker 2: He found he could produce the same effects with a
Speaker 2: fake pair of tractors as with the real thing, and
Speaker 2: concluded that the quote whole effect undoubtedly depends upon the
Speaker 2: impression which can be made upon the patient's imagination. Right,
Speaker 2: So hold up talk about that, because that's what makes
Speaker 2: the story of Elijah Perkins one that's worth telling.
Speaker 1: Tests conducted in an effort to debunk Perkins found the
Speaker 1: opposite of what physicians predicted. It turned out that any
Speaker 1: and all materials used were unexpectedly equally as effective as
Speaker 1: the genuine brass and iron tractors. The takeaway was as
Speaker 1: long as the patient believed they were being treated with
Speaker 1: Perkins tractors, not just told mind you, but believed the
Speaker 1: results were positive. This was and is a great example
Speaker 1: of what we call the placebo effect.
Speaker 2: The placebo effect is a surprisingly powerful phenomenon that has
Speaker 2: been studied extensively in clinical trials. It's the idea that
Speaker 2: the human body can respond to a treatment simply because
Speaker 2: the person believes that treatment will work. So basically, your
Speaker 2: brain tricks you into thinking you're feeling better, though no
Speaker 2: one has proven it could shrink a tumor. Your brain
Speaker 2: can modulate your level of pain or fatigue, for instance,
Speaker 2: and that's what this is about. Placebos have been used
Speaker 2: in medicine since antiquity, but the word placebo wasn't really
Speaker 2: introduced until the eighteenth century, specifically in reference to inert
Speaker 2: substances like saline injections or sugar pills being used instead
Speaker 2: of treatments proven to have real beneficial ingredients. But the
Speaker 2: idea didn't become part of the larger medical vocabulary until
Speaker 2: Haygarth published his findings in a paper titled on the
Speaker 2: Imagination as a Cause and as a Cure of Disorders
Speaker 2: of the Body. That paper directly helped establish what we
Speaker 2: now call the placebo effect. Today, placebos are common in
Speaker 2: medical research and maybe brace yourself for a second. While
Speaker 2: it's not illegal for physicians to give placebos without a
Speaker 2: patient's knowledge, many admit they do prescribe them regularly, despite
Speaker 2: the ethical problem that it raises.
Speaker 1: That's right, as stated in a study that was published
Speaker 1: in the British Journal of Medicine in two thousand and eight. Quote.
Speaker 1: Six hundred and seventy nine physicians responded to the survey.
Speaker 1: About half of the surveyed internists and rheumatologists reported prescribing
Speaker 1: placebo treatments on a regular basis. Most physicians, sixty two percent,
Speaker 1: believe the practice to be ethically permissible. This, of course,
Speaker 1: is an ongoing issue of heated debate in the medical community,
Speaker 1: because while some physicians argue that in prescribing a placebo
Speaker 1: you're depriving a patient of bodily autonomy, others, as that
Speaker 1: study showed, think it's perfectly okay to do so if
Speaker 1: you just need to take a moment to digest that,
Speaker 1: please feel free.
Speaker 2: While Elisha Perkins wasn't peddling snake oil in the way
Speaker 2: we might usually think of it, that doesn't mean he
Speaker 2: wasn't selling crap. In the end, he turns out to
Speaker 2: likely have been a physician who pursued a mistaken theory
Speaker 2: and did no more harm with his tractors than empty
Speaker 2: and gullible pockets. And it's too bad he died before
Speaker 2: he had the chance to read those papers about his product,
Speaker 2: and this thing called the placebo effect, because surely he
Speaker 2: would have found them fascinating.
Speaker 1: I mean I think he would have been. I would
Speaker 1: like to think that he would have been fascinated and
Speaker 1: not defensive, but who knows. I don't know him.
Speaker 2: I don't know him either, but I got that vibe
Speaker 2: from learning about him that he would have been like, wait,
Speaker 2: what is that?
Speaker 1: That's cool? Right? Shall we use that in some way
Speaker 1: to help people? Will that? Sure?
Speaker 2: Yellow fever?
Speaker 1: I've got a little cures. What ails you? So?
Speaker 2: Does alas that?
Speaker 1: I think you will enjoy it? Okay? So this went
Speaker 1: through seven different names, including Wow, including ardent spirits, free
Speaker 1: tractor therapy, I thought a great In the end, we
Speaker 1: called it the placebo effect. Yeah, And what I wanted
Speaker 1: to do with this drink was incorporate something metallic, but
Speaker 1: also make a drink that kind of hides the things
Speaker 1: that are actually creating the sensation while you're drinking it,
Speaker 1: so that it's hard to pick out the ingredients, but
Speaker 1: gives you a sense of coziness and you're not sure why.
Speaker 1: This isn't very far off from a whiskey sour, so
Speaker 1: I think you will like it. But it has a
Speaker 1: combination of things that may sound odd, but together they
Speaker 1: do something really nice. Into a shaker with ice, you're
Speaker 1: gonna put three quarters of an ounce of lemon juice,
Speaker 1: a half ounce or so of simple syrup, a half
Speaker 1: ounce of mandarin orange liqueur if you can get it.
Speaker 1: If you can't get mandarin, you can do an orange liquur.
Speaker 1: But the mandarin does have a different flavor that I
Speaker 1: quite like. M this is a little predictable, but I
Speaker 1: promise there's a reason other than just the gold flakes.
Speaker 1: But a half ounce of gold schlager, and then an
Speaker 1: ounce and a half if you can get it of
Speaker 1: bacon bourbon. Oh wow. This is like a bourbon that
Speaker 1: my local liquor stores carry. I don't have a hard
Speaker 1: time getting it. But if you cannot get it, you
Speaker 1: can just get regular bourbon and throw like a drop
Speaker 1: of liquid smoke in it, and it's gonna be the
Speaker 1: same thing if you can get it. Also a little
Speaker 1: bit of luster dust, like the edible glitter lustra, to
Speaker 1: just put a little in. You don't have to put
Speaker 1: a ton in, and you are gonna shake this and
Speaker 1: pour it into like a rocks glass over fresh ice
Speaker 1: and then top it with soda. Listen, if you want
Speaker 1: to get fancy on your presentation, you could get like
Speaker 1: a sprig of a pretty neutral garnish like parsley and
Speaker 1: spray it. They make like a silver edible food safe
Speaker 1: spray that you can use like on cakes and cookies
Speaker 1: and stuff, and you can do your your garnish with that,
Speaker 1: and then you have like a little silver thing. That's
Speaker 1: just if you want to do it for presentation. But
Speaker 1: here's what happens when you The cinnamon is the last
Speaker 1: flavor to make itself known, but it does so in
Speaker 1: a way that it's hard to know that it's cinnamon,
Speaker 1: like it mostly tastes a little bit citrusy and pretty
Speaker 1: light and refreshing considering how many things are in it
Speaker 1: that have very heavy flavors. Like something happens with the lemon,
Speaker 1: the orange and the cinnamon and the bacony bourbon that
Speaker 1: it's all smooths each other out and you're just kind
Speaker 1: of like, this is refreshing. It doesn't even taste that alcoholic.
Speaker 1: But then at the end, oh, there's just a cozy
Speaker 1: sense to it.
Speaker 2: And you don't know why you don't know.
Speaker 1: Why, so much like Perkins and stuff, you don't know
Speaker 1: why it works or makes you feel cozy, but it does.
Speaker 1: It's not going to actually cure anything. Listen, Citrus is
Speaker 1: good for you in varieties of ways, but that's not
Speaker 1: really This is not a health drink. To make the mocktail,
Speaker 1: it's pretty simple. You are going to sub out that
Speaker 1: mandarin liqueur for syrup for mandarin syrup. If you want
Speaker 1: to make a mandarin syrup, it's just like we do
Speaker 1: all the time. A cup of sugar, a cup of water,
Speaker 1: some chopped up mandarin oranges, let that simmer and then strain.
Speaker 1: The whole thing quite delicious. You can also just do
Speaker 1: orange syrup if that's what you can find. A half
Speaker 1: ounce of cinnamon syrup, which same thing. You can make
Speaker 1: your own. If you can't find it, just throw some
Speaker 1: cinnamon sticks in the mix. And then for this one
Speaker 1: instead of the bacon bourbon, we'll do a black tea
Speaker 1: and do what we did. If I said you couldn't
Speaker 1: find bacon bourbon, toss literally you just need a drop
Speaker 1: of liquid smoke in there, I will say for the mocktail,
Speaker 1: because you're using two syrups you can leave out the
Speaker 1: simple syrup in that one and just do those taste it.
Speaker 1: If you want it sweeter, go for it, but I
Speaker 1: don't think it needs it. And then same deal. Throw
Speaker 1: in some lustra dust, shake it, shake it, pour it
Speaker 1: over ice, and top it with soda. It's very yummy
Speaker 1: and also very refreshing. But you won't be like, I
Speaker 1: can't believe there's no alcohol in here, because there is
Speaker 1: no alcohol. Don't sub these out and try to confuse anybody.
Speaker 1: That's not cool. That will take away bodily autonomy, and
Speaker 1: it's not okay. But that is the placebo effect, which
Speaker 1: is surprisingly yummy. I wasn't sure how the mandarin and
Speaker 1: cinnamon would play together, but in fact they're buddies, their buddies.
Speaker 1: I didn't like them in the original drink. I tasted
Speaker 1: it before I added simple syrup and it was not working.
Speaker 1: You really need that sweetener to like make everybody hold hands.
Speaker 1: It's essentially something if you start playing around with drinks,
Speaker 1: and I hope that any of our listeners have, there
Speaker 1: are times when you taste it and you're like, this
Speaker 1: is trash, and then you'll add just a tiny amount
Speaker 1: of one thing and it's like, oh no, it's fine.
Speaker 1: As an option, you can also add a couple of
Speaker 1: dashes of angister of bitters to it if you want.
Speaker 1: That's always optional. It changes it a little. It kind
Speaker 1: of gear shifts the flavor, but not significantly. So that
Speaker 1: is the placebo effect, which, hopefully, if you make it,
Speaker 1: leaves you with the sense of warmth, happiness and yumminess
Speaker 1: and doesn't make you angry or suspicious or skeptical of anything.
Speaker 2: Fictitious.
Speaker 1: We want to, as always thank you for spending this
Speaker 1: time with us. We will be right back here again
Speaker 1: next week. But a little more snake oil. The little
Speaker 1: more cures what ails you, and uh we hope you're
Speaker 1: with us. Criminalia is a production of Shondaland Audio in
Speaker 1: partnership with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, please
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.