1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: Andre Martinez in Real Life Podcast Chapter one. We're all 2 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 1: gonna die? Are we starting? We're rolling? We on? How's 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: my hair? Is my hair cute? How's my Nicole? I'm okay, 4 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:16,360 Speaker 1: Well I'm just a mess. How am I Brittany? Thank you? Sure? 5 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: Because she'll blame you if she doesn't. I'm good, alright, alright, good. 6 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:23,680 Speaker 1: So my sister is my guest on my podcast today, 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: which could be good or bad, right because it's done 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: nothing bad? Nothing bad? Could ever know your glass? Can 9 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: you slay my glasses for me again? Please? Thanks? Why 10 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: do you do this to your glass? I'm gonna tell 11 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: you how. Um, when I'm watching TV, I'll lay down 12 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: and I lay down with my glasses and that's how 13 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,880 Speaker 1: they end up being bad all right right now because 14 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 1: I need my glasses to see Hi boo, Hi Andie? 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,440 Speaker 1: Can we go again? That's why I love you. You 16 00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 1: know that everybody in the whole world knows I love you. 17 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,600 Speaker 1: Sometimes when you have a friend that you're interviewing, it'd 18 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: be weird because I know so much things. I don't 19 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 1: want to say anything that is off. I'd been like, 20 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: does everybody know that? Do I just know that? But 21 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:13,679 Speaker 1: lately I find you have been very open in general. 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: Sometimes I see you in then interview and I'm like, oh, 23 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: she told them that, Oh she said that publicly. Is 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: that a conscious thing or is that something that has 25 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: just happened to you. I think it's like I have 26 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: a lot of things I don't need to hide because 27 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:31,479 Speaker 1: people want to know. You know, how am I sustaining? How? 28 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: You know? How is this possible? You know? So there's 29 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: a lot of things that I don't mind sharing to 30 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: show them the steps, you know, it wasn't easy, and 31 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,320 Speaker 1: this is one of the reasons why, you know. So 32 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,320 Speaker 1: it's like it's think things I don't want people to know. 33 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: Trust me, they don't know. They will never know. Never 34 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: I don't care what they think. They know, they will 35 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: never know. The ship that I don't know? Why is that? 36 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: Is that? Is that just it's just too private, it's embarrassing, 37 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: or it's just something that you need. It's like it's 38 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,280 Speaker 1: like a piece of clothes and aware, you know, you 39 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: need that protection, You need some covering somewhere. You just 40 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: can't be running around naked, you know, And I think 41 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: I've been, You've been running around with my prama underwear on. 42 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 1: I want to rip off my prama underwear. So I 43 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: need those things, please keep so so just to be 44 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: those things I would not reveal, you know. Yeah, Well, 45 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: so the reason I wanted to do this podcast. There's 46 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 1: a couple of things. And as my friend, you know 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: this about me, how much I have changed over the 48 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: past couple of years due to experience, due to work, 49 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 1: the world, the world changing my own personal experience. And 50 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: also we're getting older and we're and we're like, we've 51 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,679 Speaker 1: seen a lot and we've lived a lot and done 52 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 1: a lot. And I also feel like during COVID everybody 53 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: had to like look at their life in a different way. 54 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 1: Did you how did that change? Like? What did you like? 55 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: I actually went deeper with the self love. You know, 56 00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:00,120 Speaker 1: I started finding myself during you know, the marriage in 57 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: the darkness and all of that stuff. But once I 58 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: was out of the marriage, I was so angry because 59 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: of the divorce and the alimony, and I was angry 60 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,400 Speaker 1: for a long time. And um, once I got over 61 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,800 Speaker 1: to anger, I started going in and and and loving 62 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: on a child, loving her a little Mary, spending more 63 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: time with her, letting her be a kid, letting her 64 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,399 Speaker 1: run out in the backyard. You know, drink whatever, eat 65 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: whatever she wants to eat. And during the pandemic, that's 66 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: what I did. I was buying myself a lot um 67 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: in my backyard. I drank a lot of wine. I 68 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 1: had this whole thing. I was having full conversation, so 69 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: full conversations with myself and um, I just learned to 70 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: just really get into the deep inner love for myself. 71 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:50,680 Speaker 1: That's and that's been making me happy, like just just freedom. 72 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: Like I saw a picture myself last night from this 73 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: event I was having and I was stretched out like that. 74 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, shoot, I'm happy her. She I 75 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: love that finally, you know, because I know the steps 76 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: to continue because it's a you have to continue to 77 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,559 Speaker 1: do the work. It's not like one day be here 78 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: just happy every day. Yeah, it doesn't work like that. 79 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: So that's what that's that's where I'm magic loving on Mary. 80 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 1: And I hate to sound selfish, but I am right now. Yes, 81 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: I've just had this conversation with Brittany in the car today. 82 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: Because Brittany is in her twenties. She's my assistant who 83 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: she's a producer on this podcast. And I remember in 84 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: my twenties, I was you know, I was raised to think, 85 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: but we gotta be kind to everyone. We gotta think 86 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: about everybody else, we gotta do it was always or 87 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: even my own career. It's like I wanted to inspire people. 88 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:43,239 Speaker 1: I wanted to everything was like outward going for other people, 89 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: do things for other people, and I thought that that 90 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: made me a good person, or being empathetic to people 91 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 1: all the time. I thought that made me a good person. 92 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: And it might have. But you get to a point 93 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:54,919 Speaker 1: where you're like, I only got a limited time on 94 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: this earth. How much of that am I willing to 95 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: give away to everyone else instead of just waking up 96 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: and doing what I want to do selfishly for myself. 97 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 1: And I was like, maybe that sounds selfish to me, 98 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: but that's kind of where I am and I'm okay 99 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: with that, and I've been very mindful of it. This 100 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 1: whole reason this podcast happened. I've been very mindful to 101 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: the fact that we are here for a limited amount 102 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: of time. Just that thought alone. If you wake up everything, 103 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: if you wake up every dingy and be like, I'm 104 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:29,159 Speaker 1: only have a limited amount of time, That's where I'm at. 105 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: So where do you what do you do with that? Like, 106 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,359 Speaker 1: how do you live your life differently. Once you have 107 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: that realization, you take care of you life is important. 108 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: It's it's the most amazing, precious gift we're ever gonna 109 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 1: get ourselves. And if we don't treat it like that, 110 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:47,359 Speaker 1: we can lose our lives. You know, we can spiritually 111 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: lose our lives. We can just be walking dead when 112 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: we just don't take care of our lives. You understand 113 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, no to, Yeah, but tell me, tell 114 00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: me I do kind of But okay, spirit really dead? 115 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: Meaning like you you know, you have been in the 116 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,200 Speaker 1: bad room. You've never been in a bad relationship? Are 117 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 1: you cry what you're talking to? So you're in something 118 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: that no longer it's healthy for you. It's not doing 119 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,239 Speaker 1: anything for you mentally, spiritually, physically, financially. Are you walking 120 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: dead and you're a walking dead? You're just sitting through 121 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 1: it for what? So you don't want to end up? 122 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: So we know what that feels like. So we don't 123 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: not not want to end up like that ever again. 124 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: And that's the work that we're doing to keep from 125 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,200 Speaker 1: doing that again, to not be the walking dead either 126 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: walking dead, We want to walking living, walking living walking 127 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: best version of ourselves at all time. And there's so 128 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: many people in the world that are doing that and 129 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,799 Speaker 1: don't even know they're doing They're just miserable and going 130 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: through the motions of not getting anything, just bullshit, getting 131 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: nothing in return, and chasing, chasing nothing, waiting for nothing. 132 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: I've been there too, you know, And and that was 133 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: just time to want more, want something now? Want what 134 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: do you want? Love? Love? But love for me? First? 135 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: I found that love, the love for Mary. I found it, 136 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 1: and I would suck anybody up to try to take 137 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 1: it away from because it's so real and it's so good, 138 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: and I work for and I earned it and I 139 00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 1: have to keep working on it every single day. And 140 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: it's a job. It's a real job, and it and 141 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: it hurts, Like I'm so proud of you because I 142 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 1: know when you're when you come to And it's not 143 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: a small thing when you say that. Some people think 144 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: it's just a sound bite or something like you've learned 145 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: how to love yourself, But it's a real it's a 146 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 1: real deal. My life is my my baby. You don't 147 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: always feel like that, obviously, No, I hated my life. 148 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: I didn't know why. I just hated myself. Hated my life, 149 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: hated the way I look hate it, but the way 150 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: I spoke. I hate a sound of my voice and 151 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: be like, ah, that's how that's me. Now, I's like 152 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,240 Speaker 1: I need to hear that again, Like it's it's just 153 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 1: some miracle. It's some miracle kind of intoence. And I'm 154 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: by myself a lot of you having dates to ship 155 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: with myself, Like we're going on the dates and we're going, 156 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: got you, but got you? But we we you know, 157 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: youveen splurge, hanging out, you can buying, We're going, we're 158 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,440 Speaker 1: buying the biggest chain. We could buy Oldies boots this week. Oh, 159 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: like it's it's just it's dope. You know. I've never 160 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 1: been like this. I used to be shell shocked, scared, scared, scared. 161 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: I'm scared of myself. That's what we That's what we're scared. 162 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 1: We're scared of ourselves. It don't be people to be 163 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: the power. Oh ship, afraid of the power, Afraid of 164 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: my own power. You know that's the case, right, Yes, 165 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: they do. They do. The other thing that I think 166 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: that we do. I had talked to a couple of 167 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: people about this is especially people have been successful in 168 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,280 Speaker 1: their careers. Like spend a lot of our lives, a 169 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: lot of a lot of our lives chasing something. It's 170 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: like chasing success, chasing money, chasing to get out of 171 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: the bad situation. Like do you still feel that, do 172 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,640 Speaker 1: you still feel that energy that are you chasing something? Still? 173 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: Nothing really, not a dollar, not a person, not you know. 174 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: Love is tricky because you can end up chasing and 175 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 1: not know you're chasing until you were, like, whoa, I 176 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: got that feeling again, that nasty feeling of I think 177 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose something that you've never had. You feel 178 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 1: like you might lose the exactly so I have I'm 179 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 1: not chasing nothing. And it's like when you're not chasing, 180 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,439 Speaker 1: everything just falls in your lap, everything just coming from 181 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: here from here. So I'm not chasing success because that 182 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: I got. I am what I am, who I am 183 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 1: for the rest of my life. So I don't need 184 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: to be running after a dollar or running in to 185 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: do a show, or trying to be seen the most. 186 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: I'm whatever. So it's not a good feeling, it's great. 187 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: I felt so good. I'm just oh man, ship, I 188 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 1: love that for you. I do. I sometimes have to 189 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,440 Speaker 1: check myself I think I definitely have slowed the chase down. 190 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 1: I think that has been the most uncomfortable transition for 191 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: me because I was always chasing to be inspired, to 192 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 1: be on the next thing, to reinvent, to um, just 193 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: stay relevant, you know, chasing that type of ship, right, 194 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: And it took and it took God to sit me 195 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: down for a little while for me to be like 196 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: uncomfortable and can't chase nothing, to be like, okay, I 197 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: think I'm good, and then and then it turned to like, 198 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 1: I actually think I like not chasing ship and just 199 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: kind of being and being in the moment and appreciated 200 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: life and going to sit with my girlfriend and have 201 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: some drinks. And do you not that when you get 202 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: in that place in your life, you look at yourself 203 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: and you look, I'm amazing to yourself, like you look 204 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: so boss, like whatever that you look so good your 205 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:12,240 Speaker 1: boss now your boss because nothing of you. But we 206 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: weren't boss because everything had control of us. So we 207 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: always had this look of and didn't know it. But 208 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: now we're just like, okay, all right, cool, you come in. 209 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,840 Speaker 1: You're going so like for real And that takes work too. 210 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: You know, what do you think that the biggest control 211 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 1: of you. I don't want to say it. I have 212 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: an idea of two things that came right, don't you 213 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: fucking say it. You know exactly what I was gonna say. Exactly. 214 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,600 Speaker 1: Y'all probably could get the two things that I was thinking. Man, 215 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: and those things That's why I says it's not easy 216 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: because those things are hard. You know what I'm say. 217 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: People are hard. People can have control over you, you know, 218 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,640 Speaker 1: wanting to be loved, wanting to be picked. So you 219 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: think love and that type of stuff have more control 220 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 1: of you than you chasing your career or your passion 221 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: because you I mean you you made Mary J. Blige. 222 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 1: That's not a small thing wanting to be loved. But 223 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,800 Speaker 1: so you you were never chasing because you are serious 224 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 1: about your career. Didn't just happen. It wasn't by accident 225 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 1: that you became this household name, like you have to 226 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: put work into that. So but do you ever feel 227 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: like you were chasing that at any point or like 228 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 1: I didn't start chasing or until I got married and 229 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: things were just turned into ship and then it was like, Okay, 230 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,400 Speaker 1: I gotta figure out a way to get us out 231 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: of this shiphole. We in financially financially then I started 232 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 1: being like then, But from to then, I didn't even 233 00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 1: know if I was coming to go. When I was 234 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,839 Speaker 1: singing for my life, I was, y'all know, I didn't 235 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,480 Speaker 1: care what I was doing. I was. It wasn't about it, 236 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: you never or just even success. No really, because when 237 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: I when I when I got signed, I signed my 238 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,839 Speaker 1: contract when a washing machine in the projects, like, it 239 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,680 Speaker 1: was like, we're getting out of here, and the only 240 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: thing to do was just keep singing for my life. 241 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: And it was about singing. I don't even know if 242 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: I had money half at the times, you know, I 243 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: was spending so much money. I was just living frivolous 244 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: and young and ignorant and ghetto and dumb, and that 245 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 1: decisions young, dumb, frivolous and and insecure just so really 246 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 1: not free then, no, just just in trapped with the 247 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,719 Speaker 1: bondage of stupidity. So I didn't I wasn't like, oh God, 248 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 1: I gotta be the hottest puffles, like yo, you gotta 249 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 1: be a like puffles. I was like, yo, yo, Puppic 250 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: is always driven by success. He'd say, We've seen him 251 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,960 Speaker 1: say that moment, and he helped me. He helped me 252 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: to have some of that like some drive. You know, 253 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't lazy. I just didn't care about what everybody 254 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,319 Speaker 1: else cared about, Like I gotta be the hottest person. 255 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 1: I just was. I just was. And I didn't even 256 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 1: know what I had built or who I was, Like 257 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,000 Speaker 1: what I what? What I I gotta say what land 258 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,680 Speaker 1: I had opened and who I had become until later 259 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: like oh ship, Like I was young and how was that? 260 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: And that? So it wasn't like I gotta have it, 261 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: I just it was. It came with the job. I 262 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 1: had to have a hairstyle, I had to have so 263 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 1: I did you know what I'm saying. So it was 264 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,800 Speaker 1: like I was moving. I didn't know I was like 265 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: it wasn't you know, it was none of it was. 266 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: It was just I was just moving. What do you 267 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,120 Speaker 1: think is like when you look at your life, you 268 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 1: look at your career and in the theme of like 269 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:56,040 Speaker 1: you know, our time here is limited. What do you 270 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: like most proud about from out of your life? This 271 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: life right here is just finding myself. Just this freedom, 272 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: this this relaxation. That's not feeling stressed, this is not 273 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,880 Speaker 1: feeling impressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm 274 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 1: I'm proud of marry. I'm proud of myself because I've 275 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: been through hell and some horrible things and that feeling 276 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: that I had of inadequacy, not never being enough, not 277 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: feeling like it's gone. I am enough, you know, and 278 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 1: I have to keep working on it because I was 279 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 1: in it so much. It was it was it was 280 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,440 Speaker 1: so much self hatred. And then the self hatred was 281 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,600 Speaker 1: so bad it had people hate me more than I 282 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: hated myself. So this right here is what I'm most proud. 283 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:49,760 Speaker 1: I'm most proud of this growth. Yeah, I get that. 284 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:53,440 Speaker 1: That's good. That's a that's a good place. Yeah, I'm good. 285 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:56,400 Speaker 1: And it's worked. Like I said, every single day. You know, 286 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: therapy is not It ain't there's nothing wrong with that. 287 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: You gotta keep working and keep working. I love therapy. Listen. 288 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: I started like a couple of weeks ago, like a 289 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: month ago. I was like, when I'm talking again, she's 290 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,800 Speaker 1: dope to listen. It's about growth, Yes, It's about growth, 291 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,720 Speaker 1: is about evolutions, about getting to know yourself better and 292 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,160 Speaker 1: all that. I'm full for that. Do you ever think 293 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:27,280 Speaker 1: about death sometimes? Yeah? And what is that doing? Like? 294 00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: How does that let me. I had to do my 295 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: my life insurance like me, you know, I didn't get 296 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: my finally your will and yeah, all that stuff. And 297 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: he was asking me all these questions and when you 298 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: want to bury you all that stuff. I was like, 299 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: she's let me, let me deal with that. Let me 300 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: face that head on, because I was I was always afraid, 301 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: you know, of of dying, you know, like like a 302 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,720 Speaker 1: death like later in my life. When I was young, 303 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: I was like, you know, risk it all, jump off 304 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,720 Speaker 1: the bridge or whatever. But when I got older, I 305 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 1: was I'm afraid, you know, of die. I'm afraid of 306 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: how I'm a die and all that stuff. And then 307 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 1: I had to do that. And then it was like, 308 00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: let me face this ship head on, because these questions 309 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:13,840 Speaker 1: are crazy. These questions are you know, we want to 310 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: who do you want to be the person that's responsible? 311 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 1: You know? Do you want to donate your organs? And 312 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 1: Jesus So, No, it's real, It's very real. It's the 313 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,920 Speaker 1: realest thing to talk about ever because it happens to 314 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 1: everybody and we never talked about it, and then we're 315 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,920 Speaker 1: not prepared for it. We're not preparing when to heaven. 316 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,120 Speaker 1: The other people were not prepared as we get older 317 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:34,960 Speaker 1: in life, and then so we don't ever like you said, 318 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 1: let me look at it head on most of our lives. 319 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,159 Speaker 1: We don't. Most of our lives, we look away. We 320 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: do our best to look away from that. That's what 321 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,400 Speaker 1: we That's what That's what I've been doing on damn 322 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: it all my life, looking away and not looking at 323 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 1: what it really is. And that's when you get on 324 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: all that trouble with people because you see all the stuff, 325 00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 1: but then you turn away. You see the sign, you 326 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: see the red flags, and then you turn away because 327 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: you want what you want by any means necessary. You know, 328 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: I get that. So what happens when you're answering those 329 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 1: questions and you decide, let me look at this. What happens? 330 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 1: Like what you how do you feel there's a change, 331 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 1: how you feel about it? Does it? It gives you? It? Empowered? 332 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: I think it's empowering. It makes you strong and like, okay, um, 333 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: I'm an adult, I'm grown, I'm growing up. This is 334 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,120 Speaker 1: something I'm moving past. Because that was that's a big thing. 335 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: That's a life insurance And did all that too and 336 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 1: freaked me out for a second to but also losing 337 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,840 Speaker 1: people like we we've lost a lot of people in it. 338 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 1: That always chifts you a little bit. And then when 339 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: we first lose somebody, it's always like, can I live 340 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,640 Speaker 1: your life to the fullest? Yeah, you know, you say 341 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,480 Speaker 1: that for a week life is short. We gotta blah 342 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,159 Speaker 1: blah blah, And then you say that for two weeks 343 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: and then we go back to living the same way 344 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: we always live. So then I had that thought of like, well, 345 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: if we have that notion of life is short when 346 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: somebody dies, can we live our whole life knowing that 347 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: living life like life is short? If we can live 348 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: every day knowing that the ship is not tomorrow is 349 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: not promised, but not only when something bad happens to somebody, 350 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 1: like every day we wake up every day with that 351 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 1: understanding of like life is short. Then does it change 352 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: how you operate? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I 353 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,040 Speaker 1: think I think it it does. But when you say 354 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 1: life is short and you gotta live everything you know 355 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: you can. You can be reckless with it, or you 356 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: can live your life with value, like for yourself, that's 357 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 1: what we're doing. Life is short, so you do have 358 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: to take care of you. And if you take care 359 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:40,160 Speaker 1: of you. It's it's long, you know what I'm saying. 360 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: But if you live in life is short. Let me 361 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 1: just do all the drugs, let me just do everything wrong. Yeah, 362 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 1: that's you know, this is when you become an adult. 363 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,919 Speaker 1: Like we're adults now, so we can and it makes 364 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: you appreciate to me when you think about it that way, 365 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: It's not doesn't make me want to go be reckless. 366 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: It makes me want to be mindful at present and grateful. 367 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: Like if I'm having a great day, if we out 368 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,200 Speaker 1: we with our girlfriends, and what was me the other day? 369 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,679 Speaker 1: We're not girlfriend's house watching the one of these oscar 370 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: that's a whole other conversation. We're watching the oscars. But 371 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: I was at a great time and that I don't 372 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: really need much more than that in life, like me too. 373 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 1: That's where I am, you know, that's where I am. 374 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: Like I'm if it's not fun, I don't do it. 375 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: If I if I don't think I'm gonna have fun, 376 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:27,360 Speaker 1: I'm not outside. But if it was with my friends, 377 00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: it's a good time. I know what it's going to 378 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 1: be already. Yeah you go outside, Yes, Yeah, I'm really 379 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: happy to be at that place in my life where 380 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,639 Speaker 1: I don't I don't miss that. I feel like for 381 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: a lot of years I missed it. A lot of 382 00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:40,400 Speaker 1: years I was chasing it, running and running and trying 383 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,320 Speaker 1: to do things, and I miss so many great things 384 00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:46,239 Speaker 1: that were happening because I wasn't. I didn't just be like, yo, 385 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,919 Speaker 1: this is really dope. This is really dope. That's a 386 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: great way to live every day, like right, like this moment, right, 387 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 1: this is great, Like I mean, I couldn't be my 388 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: person too much. Please, this is a phenomenal. This is this. 389 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: Look at where we are we look Angie, look at 390 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 1: Don't tell me, please look look at Remember me when 391 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: you first met me. This is not the same person, 392 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Like you was always strong. 393 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,119 Speaker 1: You was always what to me, he was always my 394 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:22,399 Speaker 1: strong sister. Like you was like a rock, and I 395 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: was like, gosh, I need her because I wasn't that, 396 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: you know. But what was amazing to me was to 397 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,680 Speaker 1: find out that you had wasn't you know it's strong 398 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:42,400 Speaker 1: to you that you thought said yeah strong, not so 399 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,560 Speaker 1: that this is a blessing to have come full circle. 400 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,439 Speaker 1: And I don't feel that need to act strong all 401 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: the time anymore. And I used to be like that, right. 402 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 1: I was a strong friend, so I would always be like, 403 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: I gotta be strong, but that if I don't feel it, 404 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 1: I want to be able to say that. And it's cool. 405 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,679 Speaker 1: Who cares? Like what is that? Does it? And I 406 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:03,679 Speaker 1: love that? Yeah? I love that you're that now. I 407 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 1: love that because I was like, why she's so hard? 408 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: Why she mote? That's what we're hit for because I'll 409 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: be comingy like, oh god, oh this happened, Andrew, this happened, 410 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,119 Speaker 1: crying and ship and and and you'd like you, I, 411 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: you just gotta do that. You gotta do that. So 412 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, what you need? Why I need? I need 413 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,679 Speaker 1: a hug, I need some I need sympathy. I need 414 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 1: you to be on my team right now. You get 415 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 1: on my level. Get on my level right now, Get 416 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,439 Speaker 1: on my level. Man. I don't feel the need to 417 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: do that at all anymore. You feel that, like I 418 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,360 Speaker 1: feel like we can. Yeah, And I'm so grateful for that. 419 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: That's that's what'll be here for. I love you need 420 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,199 Speaker 1: that for sure. I don't set your ass down. Let 421 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,359 Speaker 1: me tell you something. Yeah, I thought I had it 422 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 1: all figured out. My glasses quickie. I had my glasses 423 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 1: been quickie. Oh I did it that? Okay, So first 424 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 1: of all, I just want to finish that, I thought, 425 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,120 Speaker 1: because I think maybe this will happen again in life. Right, 426 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,399 Speaker 1: So I used to think I would say maybe like 427 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: five years ago, I thought, I I got ship figured out, 428 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,239 Speaker 1: I know all the things that I need to know. 429 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna share with the world. I'm gonna do a 430 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: talk show. I'm gonna let the world. I'm gonna inspire 431 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: people with true stories. And then I got and then 432 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:27,159 Speaker 1: God sat my heads down and was like, which, you 433 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,040 Speaker 1: don't really know everything. You don't got it all together. 434 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: You need to solving up. You need to be in 435 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: the moment all the lessons I needed to learn to 436 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:34,919 Speaker 1: get me to where I am now, which is like 437 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 1: a to me, a better version than of who I 438 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: was five ten years ago. And so I hope five 439 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 1: years from now I'll be an even better version. Do 440 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: you believe that yoursel I think we could just keep 441 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:52,360 Speaker 1: elevating it. But we But but we keep elevating when 442 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: we keep going through the pain of transition, like of change, 443 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 1: like there's going to be something to shift you into 444 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:03,639 Speaker 1: the next thing higher. When you don't go higher, you 445 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: don't move. Nothing just feels like one thing. But when 446 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 1: you get ready to shift that that pain, some kind 447 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: of trial is coming to that you have to feel 448 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 1: to get through. And what about age? Do you think that? 449 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: Do you you attribute that some of that to just 450 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: age and growing and us being older and wiser, and 451 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,400 Speaker 1: or you think experience more than age. I think experience, 452 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: because if you don't have experience, you can't grow. I 453 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 1: don't care how it. Definitely are older people that have 454 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:42,560 Speaker 1: not evolved do that. Yeah? Yeah, I just wonder why, 455 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 1: as young, why we fear age so much? And I 456 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,560 Speaker 1: don't know if it's like fear of death or just 457 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: fear of changing how we look like what is the 458 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: fear of age that? I guess some being afraid let 459 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,000 Speaker 1: me see, right, what is that? I don't know what 460 00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 1: are we afraid of that? Oh? I know what it is? 461 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: And and in our industry of what people think, how 462 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: they just toss you to the Okay, she's old, she's 463 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,239 Speaker 1: washed up forgetting this, just to get that, forget that, 464 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: so right, But yeah, but I become like I'm not 465 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 1: even gonna give a fun you like me, lump me? Yeah, 466 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm fifty I'm fifty one, and and you 467 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: can buy my music, play it or not, because I 468 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,199 Speaker 1: have a fan base. And you've got to just be 469 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:39,400 Speaker 1: content with that, with content with what you have and 470 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,680 Speaker 1: that and that keeps you growing, and that keeps the whole. 471 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 1: Now that that keeps the youth looking at you as 472 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,199 Speaker 1: an inspiration. And that's when you become an inspiration when 473 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: you can just relax and be content and your thing 474 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:54,480 Speaker 1: and then they still worse is when somebody's fighting it 475 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: so hard that they're not comfortable in their own skin. 476 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:01,000 Speaker 1: That's it's nothing for any age. But if you're fighting 477 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 1: your truth who you are, where you are in like 478 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: like just no age that it's ever flied at at 479 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 1: any age, right, and it's it's it's it's hard for 480 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,680 Speaker 1: some people because everybody has a different journey, Like everybody 481 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: don't have the wisdom that you have or gone through 482 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: well or wanted to go through what we went through, 483 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,360 Speaker 1: or the pain of change, you know, the paint a changed. Yeah, 484 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: that feels like a song title. It is it's coming soon. 485 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: Do you have a bucket list? Is there something you 486 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 1: want to do while you're here on this earth? Anything? 487 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: Left because you've done a lot of ship. Well, I 488 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 1: definitely don't want to ever jump out of a plane. So, 489 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,160 Speaker 1: by the way, I don't want never nothing really, not really, 490 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: I think what an amazing thing to be able to say. 491 00:26:56,880 --> 00:27:00,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm for whatevery shoe I could buy what 492 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: I'm saying. There's no bucket lesson. I mean, the thing 493 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,960 Speaker 1: you want to do before we're not here anymore, I 494 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: don't know, I can't. I can't answer that right now 495 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: if you had to say one thing about what your 496 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: purpose is, because it's probably changed. Like I used to 497 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: think my purpose was one thing, and I don't think 498 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: it probably involved and it may continue to evolve. But 499 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: right now today, what do you think your purpose is 500 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,679 Speaker 1: for being here? Wow? The first thing came to my 501 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 1: mind is example, Just be an example, Just be and 502 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: you know, and let that be, just just be. Yeah, 503 00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 1: let that be and let that be enough. That is enough. 504 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 1: Who who's giving you the best life advice ever? I 505 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,159 Speaker 1: know you probably had so many because you know a 506 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,919 Speaker 1: lot of great people. People love you so but the 507 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: first thing that comes to you, the first thing, and 508 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: I always say this, Shota con really say, get out 509 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: your own way. So I was like, what does that mean? 510 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:05,679 Speaker 1: What does it mean? When I was younger, I was like, 511 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,919 Speaker 1: what does that mean? Stop being your worst enemy? M hm, 512 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 1: you know vocally, um business wise, like stop being afraid 513 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:21,880 Speaker 1: of you. Move, move scared Mary, so Mary can get 514 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:27,159 Speaker 1: through here. That's that's how I took it. Now it 515 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: might for you know, people who have different ways day, 516 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: you know, comprehend things. But for me, it was like, 517 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: stop being afraid of you. Yeah, Shoka the shock. Depending 518 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 1: on what day you get her, she could be she 519 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:54,800 Speaker 1: was nice, she's always nice, but she's ficy, she be 520 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 1: super fighty. So there's this quote from Steve Jobs. Well, 521 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 1: he wrote it in first person till he asked him 522 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 1: himself this all the time. If today were the last 523 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: day of my life, what I want to do? What 524 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: I'm about to do today? He would ask him something 525 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,080 Speaker 1: every day. No, m so what would you have done today? 526 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: If today was the last day I would be home? 527 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 1: You wouldn't be here with me. I knew, if I 528 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: knew this was it, I'm home praying, I'd be home quiet. 529 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: Just get myself center, get my spirit center so we 530 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 1: can transition the hell with all this, this is nothing. 531 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,800 Speaker 1: I feel you there's no cameras, there's nobody watching. It's 532 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 1: you and God and God and getting ready to you know, 533 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: spirit man transition. Do you have something that you believe? 534 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 1: What do you believe happens when we're not here anymore? 535 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:55,920 Speaker 1: I have no idea. I never thought about it. I 536 00:29:56,040 --> 00:30:01,400 Speaker 1: thought this. I was watching this song making sure this 537 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: documentary on these aliens. Right, we talked about scared the 538 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:08,120 Speaker 1: ship out of me. I had the lights on in 539 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: the daytime after we went off, and they were something 540 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,920 Speaker 1: out the reptilians and the light beings and the grays 541 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,400 Speaker 1: and the other something else. I said, are we the 542 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: light beings? Because I was I would we are light 543 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:27,400 Speaker 1: when we lead lead his body. So I just think 544 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 1: of it as we are light and we have this 545 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,600 Speaker 1: one big light all over the world that when we 546 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:36,200 Speaker 1: start leaving our bodies, we we light be brighten up 547 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,440 Speaker 1: the world. But where we're spirit people. So imagine us 548 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: doing that as spirit people, like lifting ourselves up spiritually 549 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: and then everybody becoming this big light. And that's what 550 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 1: we're doing right now. We're being a big light to 551 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: somebody at home, I hope. So, yeah, that's that's the 552 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 1: intention for sure. Yeah, that's how I see. That's that's 553 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: how I see. So you see yourself right here in 554 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,880 Speaker 1: present time, in in life doing that, and you see 555 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 1: that for yourself. Yeah, I think we take it with us. 556 00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:11,120 Speaker 1: I think whatever we are goes with us. So this 557 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: is why we gotta get get it right now, because 558 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,719 Speaker 1: this is nothing but that thing that we building up 559 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 1: every day to have a good Day's got to be 560 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 1: right to go to the right thing. You know. I 561 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: don't know what what the other world is, but you 562 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: wanted to be the right thing, right you do? You 563 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: want to go to Hawaii and live on the beach. 564 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: What are you? You know saying? What's in your head? 565 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. You have to think about that. You 566 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:42,480 Speaker 1: have something I have to I'm not gonna tell everybody 567 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 1: what I want to go because the panties and the 568 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 1: broad's leaving on. I hope I have many many years 569 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: with you and then to and I love you so much. 570 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: You will I'm not going anywhere. I love you. This 571 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,160 Speaker 1: is great. That was good, right, Yes, it was so good. 572 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: It's always always are. You're so amazing at this than 573 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: you We're gonna be here, we do Oh man, the 574 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:15,320 Speaker 1: people were don't even Edie always getting flowers from me. 575 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 1: When I first met you at the radio station, you 576 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: like women, was always funny with me, you know, And 577 00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:26,680 Speaker 1: when I met you, I was like, I love her. 578 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: I never know women are always be on some whatever 579 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:32,880 Speaker 1: that was then, you know, now I can handle it better. 580 00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 1: But you was just on my team, and I was like, 581 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: she's so pretty and and and me and all that 582 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: ship at the same time Vein. I was like, look 583 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:47,080 Speaker 1: at her vein and her eyebrow sucking dog me. But 584 00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: she was so nice to me and we had my 585 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 1: back and you, immediately you look like he was ready 586 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: to everybody up for me. That's my friend, and looking 587 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 1: looking where we looking. I'm very grateful for that, but 588 00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 1: the way I'm very grateful for that. H