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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonas is Sam your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 4: I cheated on her, but don't I deserve to be

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Speaker 4: happy cheater.

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Speaker 5: I hardly know her.

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Speaker 4: Let's start with the backstory. I met my wife in

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Speaker 4: high school. We dated for three years, but broke it

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Speaker 4: off in the middle of senior year. We stayed broken

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Speaker 4: up for a little over a year. During that year,

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Speaker 4: I dated a little, spent time with friends, and had

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Speaker 4: a few casual fleeings nothing serious. We got back together

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Speaker 4: and everything was great. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 4: am I a big jerk? And if you want to

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Speaker 4: speak your own stories, go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 4: story Time suffer at it.

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Speaker 6: I'm Riley, and I'm Angie and I'm Sophia.

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Speaker 4: We don't have all the absolute truth or experience here.

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Speaker 4: If you do, please comment below, but we're gonna give

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Speaker 4: our best shot at giving you advice. So op, he says.

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Speaker 4: At twenty one years old, we had our first child

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Speaker 4: and got married. My daughter changed my life. I went

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Speaker 4: from a nerdy video game slacker to a highly ambitious

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Speaker 4: IT professional. Overnight, I found a great job, got promoted quickly,

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Speaker 4: and started to travel for work. At twenty four, we

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Speaker 4: had our second kid. Four kids in our intimacy was

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Speaker 4: great anywhere from two to five times a week, but

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Speaker 4: after the second one it was maybe once every other month,

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Speaker 4: usually less. I met someone that worked at one of

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Speaker 4: those locations. I traveled to similar situation, young, married with

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Speaker 4: kids and lacking intimacy. It started innocent, it always does,

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Speaker 4: but eventually we decided we loved our spouses but still

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Speaker 4: needed a physical connection. Rather than risk emotional involvement, we

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Speaker 4: agreed to only meet when I was in town. When

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Speaker 4: I wasn't in town, we talk like friends, slash coworkers,

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Speaker 4: and keep things light. This arrangement allowed us to open

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Speaker 4: up to preferences we've never shared with our spouses.

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Speaker 7: Let's test it with each other before we before we

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Speaker 7: tried things with our spouses, do.

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Speaker 5: That trial run.

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Speaker 4: We continued this for about a year and a half,

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Speaker 4: which ended up being about six visits. We both agreed

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Speaker 4: it was time to focus on fixing our marriages, and

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Speaker 4: I did. I completely put all my energy into rekindling

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Speaker 4: the passion into my marriage. It didn't really work, but

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Speaker 4: everything outside the bedroom was perfect, So I decided it

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Speaker 4: was okay with very little intimacy because she's an amazing woman.

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Speaker 4: I didn't want to break up with a great family

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Speaker 4: just because I wasn't getting what I wanted. I also

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Speaker 4: made a vow to stay faithful, which I did.

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Speaker 5: So they I like this guy.

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Speaker 4: So they didn't do anything, but they just were like, man,

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Speaker 4: we could do this, we could do that, we could

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Speaker 4: do this.

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Speaker 1: Is that what just happened?

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Speaker 7: Real?

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Speaker 5: They did do things. They met up six times.

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Speaker 1: Well wait, wait, wait, wait, what was this with this?

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Speaker 4: I also made a vow to stay faithful, which I did.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he's act, he said.

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Speaker 6: He said he like did the cheating, and then he

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Speaker 6: was like, well I felt bad about that, so I

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Speaker 6: went back and uh, now I'm going to recommit to

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Speaker 6: my marriage.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, okay, okay, which I sayed faithful to.

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Speaker 5: I didn't tell her that you.

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Speaker 4: Cheated on her.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I think he's saying that, like once he decided I

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Speaker 7: had to work in his marriage again and not cheat anymore,

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Speaker 7: then he's decided to stay faithful, which, like, up until

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Speaker 7: this point that we're reading this, he has still a

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Speaker 7: crazy thing to say, Yeah, no, because he's.

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Speaker 5: Already cheated on his girlfriend.

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Speaker 6: Then he was like, well you know what, Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 6: gonna be faithful from now on exactly exactly faithful treating now.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, so it's about to get stupid crazy right here,

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Speaker 8: let's do it in About two years ago, my wife

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Speaker 8: found a video on the laptop of me and my

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Speaker 8: former affair partner.

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Speaker 5: Oohoo, why did you have that?

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Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: Keep that, That's what I'm saying. Is there why he

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Speaker 1: is dumb?

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Speaker 4: I came clean about everything I bet you did, admitted

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Speaker 4: it was wrong, and vowed to prove I was worth trusting.

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Speaker 4: She had some requirements that I accepted without question. I

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Speaker 4: stopped hanging out with friends, stopped playing any and all

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Speaker 4: video games, no longer chatting online, spent very limited time

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Speaker 4: on the internet, switch jobs, helped out more around the house,

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Speaker 4: and let her have full access to my email. I

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Speaker 4: decided that I would cut out everything that could be

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Speaker 4: a distraction from rebuilding trust. Just two years later, and

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Speaker 4: I'm confused. I've been faithful for more than three years

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Speaker 4: now and done everything ask of me and more. I've

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Speaker 4: made major changes in my life and who I am

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Speaker 4: to prove that I can be trusted. But it's made

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Speaker 4: very little difference. Still almost no intimacy, and she is

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Speaker 4: very mistrusting. She can have Facebook but I can't. She

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Speaker 4: can go out with friends occasionally, but I can't. I

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Speaker 4: can play a video game, but only if it has

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Speaker 4: no online slash chat component. We did counseling for about

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Speaker 4: six months, and the therapist said she saw improvements and

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Speaker 4: that I was making a serious effort to prove my trustworthiness.

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Speaker 4: Wife didn't like sharing details of our life and felt

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Speaker 4: it wasn't helping. Recently, a girl I knew in high

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Speaker 4: school contacted me and made it very clear she'd be

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Speaker 4: interested in a physically only relationship. I told her now,

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Speaker 4: but it made me wonder how much punishment I should endure?

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Speaker 5: Sure, break up?

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Speaker 1: Break up?

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Speaker 4: Oh, I can't go out and have a physical altercation

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Speaker 4: with this woman. How much punishment can I still have?

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Speaker 4: I'm not getting any spicy sleep. This is not fair.

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Speaker 5: How much of this is gonna angle?

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Speaker 4: I can't even I can't even play my video games

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Speaker 4: with wife who's in it? This punishment is getting unruly.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I've tried as hard as I can

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Speaker 4: and I want to get better, but I refuse to

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Speaker 4: spend the next seventy years apologizing and walking around with

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Speaker 4: my head down. But I also don't want to be

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Speaker 4: a weekend only dad. That would destroy me and I

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Speaker 4: still very much love my wife. I just don't know

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Speaker 4: what to do. We got an update, Sophia, what are

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Speaker 4: you doing?

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Speaker 5: I'm leaving. I'm breaking up. It's already not healthy like you. Wait, wait,

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Speaker 5: you can't fix this update.

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Speaker 4: After reading all the comments last week, I decided I'm

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Speaker 4: not a prisoner and things had to change. I made

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Speaker 4: plans to go out with friends and it's seen an

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Speaker 4: over a year on a Friday night. On Thursday night,

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Speaker 4: I sat down with my wife try and reopen communication.

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Speaker 4: I told her that I have needs and once that

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Speaker 4: aren't being met, and that if we are going to

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Speaker 4: make this work, then some things have to happen. She's

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Speaker 4: my partner, not my warden. She took it pretty well

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Speaker 4: and seemed to understand where I was coming from and

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Speaker 4: recognize a huge amount of work I've put into myself

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Speaker 4: and this relationship. It felt like a fairly major breakthrough.

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Speaker 4: We even discussed picking a new therapist and giving that

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Speaker 4: another try, but there was something nagging at me the

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Speaker 4: whole time. A commenter told me he went through something

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Speaker 4: similar but eventually discovered his wife was also cheating, which

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Speaker 4: explained why his life was on lockdown. I didn't want

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Speaker 4: to believe it, but I couldn't shake the thought. My

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Speaker 4: wife is reasonable, so why had I been under these

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Speaker 4: restrictions for two years. After a couple of days, I

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Speaker 4: gave in and started the keylogger on the laptop, and

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Speaker 4: I did this Thursday afternoon. Friday comes and I'm excited

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Speaker 4: to see my buddies. We talked a little before I left.

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Speaker 4: She was apprehensive but understood this was necessary to rebuild

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Speaker 4: lasting trust in our relationship. And, like Reddit suggested, I

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Speaker 4: hardly had anything to drink, answered texts and calls promptly,

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Speaker 4: and got home twenty minutes before I said I would,

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Speaker 4: as a show of good faith. My wife was already

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Speaker 4: in bed, but sleepily asked how the night went, and

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Speaker 4: I told her it was great. Saturday morning, we discussed

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Speaker 4: at length. She seemed genuinely happy and understanding, and I

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Speaker 4: was beaming. Not only did I see my friends, but

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Speaker 4: it looked like I was making real progress. While I

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Speaker 4: was on this high, I decided trust is not built

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Speaker 4: with a keylogger.

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Speaker 5: Oh a great, amazing, the great idea.

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Speaker 4: It was pointless and would only create paranoia. I should

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Speaker 4: also mention that while she has full access to my email,

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Speaker 4: I also have access to hers.

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Speaker 7: Oh oh, what's gonna happen?

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Speaker 4: The keylogger was unnecessary. I went to uninstall it. Of course,

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Speaker 4: curiosity got the best of me. I checked the two

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Speaker 4: and a half days of logs. Nothing unusual, Amazon, Facebook, YouTube, Gmail.

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Speaker 4: Then I saw a Gmail log in I didn't recognize.

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Speaker 4: I opened it. No spam, no random junk, just a

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Speaker 4: folder labeled tax information. It was full hundreds of emails,

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Speaker 4: none of it tax related.

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Speaker 5: Oh, I just gotta do my taxes really quick. Oh, taxes,

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Speaker 5: come on over.

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Speaker 4: These emails have a lot of loopholes, talking about a

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Speaker 4: lot of loopholes in the tax breaks. Yeah, every single

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Speaker 4: one was to or from Steve for tax guys.

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Speaker 5: Steve.

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Speaker 4: I don't know who this Steve is. These messages were inappropriate,

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Speaker 4: full of intimate conversations, things they liked about each other,

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Speaker 4: and notes about every weekend together. I read through about

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Speaker 4: thirty of them before I forced myself to stop. I

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Speaker 4: made a new Gmail account and forward all of them there.

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Speaker 4: Then I deleted my tracks, stayed calm. It hurt, but

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Speaker 4: I cheated once, and now I was feeling what she

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Speaker 4: must have felt. As I forwarded the emails, I noticed

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Speaker 4: the dates this has been going on for you, back

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Speaker 4: to roughly a year before my son was born, before

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Speaker 4: I even cheated.

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Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: Wait, that realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

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Speaker 4: What if my son isn't mine? What if my baby

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Speaker 4: girl isn't mine? I completely lost it. I verified my

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Speaker 4: tracks and left the house, saying I was going to

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Speaker 4: the gym. Sat in my car two hours crying, wondering

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Speaker 4: how to move forward. I got home to find her

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Speaker 4: best friend there. They said there were going to a movie.

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Speaker 4: I nodded I needed time to think. Later, I checked

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Speaker 4: her secret Gmail. She had email Steve four hours earlier

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Speaker 4: saying she'd meet him after the movie. I checked the

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Speaker 4: time the movie should be ending. I called her phone

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Speaker 4: ten times, no answer. At one am, she walked in.

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Speaker 4: She was surprised I was still awake, and asked if

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Speaker 4: I was feeling okay. Stood up and asked, why didn't

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Speaker 4: you pick up the phone. He said she was at

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Speaker 4: the movie and could have talked, didn't forgot to check.

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Speaker 4: I looked at her and asked, how Steve doing?

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Speaker 5: Uh uh?

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Speaker 6: Now, I would believe.

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Speaker 4: Steve is a tax guy if two things were to happen.

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Speaker 4: Number one, no inappropriate text. Number two, we don't have

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Speaker 4: to pay taxes. If that was the case, I'd be like,

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Speaker 4: all right, cool, how Steve doing? Accountant?

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Speaker 1: I would believe that like if wait.

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Speaker 7: What like if you didn't have to pay taxes, then

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Speaker 7: you'd believe that Steve is an actual Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like Steve and my wife are hanging out and they're

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Speaker 4: only talking about tax stuff and how to be sure

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Speaker 4: tax savvy.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: Unfortunately we did see the actual messages, so you know

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Speaker 7: that that's not true.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but I was hoping for a surprise accountant here.

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Speaker 7: It's like, no, it's actually actually I'm the accountant and

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Speaker 7: I'm helping Steve, whoa.

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Speaker 4: Ther name is actually Stephanie. She just goes by Steve

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Speaker 4: for fun.

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Speaker 5: There you go.

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Speaker 4: Her face went, hell uh your uncle Steve.

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Speaker 5: M mine says.

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Speaker 7: Plot twist the movie was minecraft It's like, uh, well, yeah,

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Speaker 7: I mean he went to another but like he got

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Speaker 7: out of okay.

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Speaker 4: O man went to her nether region another your uncle Steve,

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Speaker 4: She asked, No, I said, the Steve you just met

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Speaker 4: after the movie. How's he? She froze. I told her

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Speaker 4: I found the Gmail account. I told her I saw messages,

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Speaker 4: including the one from tonight, with that posure I had left.

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Speaker 4: I asked, why didn't you come clean when you found

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Speaker 4: out about me? We could have fixed things together. She

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Speaker 4: started crying and ran upstairs. I followed her. She admitted

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Speaker 4: she met Steve years ago at work. I asked why

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Speaker 4: she didn't tell me when I confessed my cheating. She

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Speaker 4: said she was hurt and ashamed. She claimed she ended it,

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Speaker 4: but started again about eight months later. Talk for hours.

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Speaker 4: I asked if the two youngest kids were mine. She

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Speaker 4: swore they were, she has no proof. I was shattered.

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Speaker 4: I told her I needed space. I won't be her warden.

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Speaker 4: I told her we need separation and therapy if we're

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Speaker 4: ever going to fix this. She didn't like it, but

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Speaker 4: I stood firm. I've been trapped for two years. Maybe

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Speaker 4: she loves the idea of us more than me.

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Speaker 5: Very easy thing to do now, true.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what comes next. I love my kids.

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Speaker 4: I still care for her, but I don't know if

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Speaker 4: we can ever trust each other again. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: jimberly Fin said, not a single person in this story

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Speaker 4: has come clean. Agreed, that's pretty good. Got an update

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Speaker 4: six months after I found out my wife had been

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Speaker 4: cheating on me, and a lot has changed. After founding out,

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Speaker 4: The first thing I did was get the kids DNA test.

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Speaker 4: Spent the next two weeks sleeping on the couch having

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Speaker 4: endless conversations with my wife. The more we talked, the

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Speaker 4: more I felt like the world's biggest chump. I had

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Speaker 4: poured my soul into fixing the relationship and was wrecked

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Speaker 4: with guilt while she was out having an affair with

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Speaker 4: some guy named Steve. But I also couldn't see myself

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Speaker 4: just walking away. She'd been in my life since we

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Speaker 4: were fifteen. We are now twenty nine.

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Speaker 5: Ooh, that's hard, dude. That's rough. Ah, that's rough.

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Speaker 4: So I agreed to start therapy immediately and see how

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Speaker 4: I felt after talking to someone else. To say the

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Speaker 4: therapist was a bit shocked by our story is a

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Speaker 4: bit of an understatement. This lady was pretty blunt in

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Speaker 4: saying that nearly all of our problems stemmed from my

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Speaker 4: wife's actions and that she needed counseling just for her,

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Speaker 4: in addition to couple sessions while we were in therapy.

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Speaker 4: I moved out and crashed with my best friend, but

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Speaker 4: demanded the house on the weekend so I could be

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Speaker 4: with kids. My other conditions were that she cut off

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Speaker 4: all contact with Steve and that we talk openly about everything,

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Speaker 4: any lies, even the white lies, and I would be done.

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Speaker 4: I wanted full control of the bills and the budget.

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Speaker 4: She could blind. I never divulged that it was a

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Speaker 4: key logger that helped me to find out what was

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Speaker 4: going on. She assumed that she had stayed logged into

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Speaker 4: her secret Gmail account, and I didn't correct her low move.

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Speaker 4: But I figured that since I'd been lied to for

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Speaker 4: three plus years, I had the right to do a

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Speaker 4: bit of spying.

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Speaker 3: Bro.

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Speaker 4: But whenever you installed the key lagger, you didn't even

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Speaker 4: know what was happening exactly.

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Speaker 7: Bro, you can't pull that, you can nah? You said, Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 7: we need to be super honest about all the lies,

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Speaker 7: even the white lies, which means we would have to

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Speaker 7: give all this information that might be important around it,

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Speaker 7: you know. But but I'm not gonna tell you that

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Speaker 7: I installed a key logger on your computer and then

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Speaker 7: snoop through your emails. That is so insane, That's so insane.

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Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 4: This puts us at Roughly four weeks after I found out,

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Speaker 4: and finally the results from the kids DNA test came back.

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Speaker 4: Oh mine, oh oh oh, okay, congrats.

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Speaker 5: Well I mean glad we no, I'm glad.

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Speaker 4: We know Steve shoots blanks. That was such a relief

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Speaker 4: that I can't even describe. It almost felt like I

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Speaker 4: didn't care what happened with my wife anymore, because I

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Speaker 4: knew my kids were mine and I'd always have them.

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Speaker 4: And one thought stuck in my mind the whole time

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Speaker 4: was I can accept that people make mistakes, but if

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Speaker 4: she loved me, she had the chance to come clean

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Speaker 4: about her mistake when she caught me. Instead, she put

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Speaker 4: me on lockdown for years. Who does that to someone

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Speaker 4: they love? I just couldn't stop thinking about that. Therapy

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00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,880
Speaker 4: was going well, but I was becoming jealous and angry,

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Speaker 4: always upset. I was away from home all week, and

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Speaker 4: then on the weekend I'd tear apart the laptop trying

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Speaker 4: to find out what she'd been doing in my absence.

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Speaker 4: She was checking her secret email, and Steve was continuing

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Speaker 4: to email her, but she never responded. That was the

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Speaker 4: breaking point. She hadn't shut down the email like I

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Speaker 4: had asked, and while she wasn't responding, she was checking

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Speaker 4: the emails, almost like she was keeping her safety net

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Speaker 4: around so she could go back if things didn't work

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Speaker 4: out or maybe not. I don't know, but I didn't

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Speaker 4: want to be angry and jealous all the time. I

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Speaker 4: didn't want to be a warden. The next day, I

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Speaker 4: confronted her, told her I couldn't forgive what she had done.

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Speaker 4: I told her I could probably move past the cheating,

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Speaker 4: but the way I was treated was terrible. I explained

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Speaker 4: how I'd push friends out of my life and shut

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Speaker 4: myself off from the world to work on us, only

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Speaker 4: to find out I was being kept prisoner so she

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Speaker 4: could keep seeing her a fair partner. She broke down,

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Speaker 4: saying she do anything to salvage the relationship, but it

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Speaker 4: fell on deaf ears. That Monday, I contacted an attorney.

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Speaker 4: Fast forward four and a half months at my own place.

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Speaker 4: Divorce is nearly final, and I'm finally starting to feel

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Speaker 4: like me again. We're going for fifty to fifty custody.

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Speaker 4: I've been reconnecting with friends and trying my new hobbies

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Speaker 4: for when I don't have the kids. I've been on

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Speaker 4: two dates because a couple of friends wanted to double date,

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00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,360
Speaker 4: thinking it would help me. It was nice to meet

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Speaker 4: new women, but I'm just nowhere near ready to trust anyone.

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Speaker 7: No, I agree with everything that we've been saying. It's

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Speaker 7: just that everybody sucks your kind of situation. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 7: but I am glad that they're at least like or

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Speaker 7: at least so P is kind of moving forward, it seems.

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Speaker 7: So it's like, yeah, everyone sucks, but like you, guys

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00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 7: can't just not do anything for the rest of your lives.

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Speaker 5: You gotta do something. So I'm glad he's doing this.

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Speaker 5: I'm glad they're getting divorced.

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Speaker 4: I agree with Lisa Marie. However, many years you were married,

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00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,280
Speaker 4: that's how many months you should stay single to work

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00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 4: on yourself after divorce.

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Speaker 5: That's fair, that's fair.

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Speaker 4: Part of me think I'll just put off dating until

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00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 4: the kids are out of high school. The kids are

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00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,040
Speaker 4: sad that we aren't together, but we keep all of

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00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 4: this away from them. No arguing in front of them,

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Speaker 4: and no bashing the other when they aren't around. But

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00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,080
Speaker 4: either way, I think I'm on the road to recovery

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00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,159
Speaker 4: and feel free to ask anything because you guys helped

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Speaker 4: more than I could ever say. I say these the

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00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:21,880
Speaker 4: story's done.

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Speaker 5: This is ah ah, yeah, glad it is done.

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Speaker 7: Glad you you know, aren't staying in that relationship up

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Speaker 7: And that's the.

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Speaker 4: End of the story. We're going on to the next one.

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Speaker 5: I walked in on him cheating? Would you forgive him? No,

376
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:38,800
Speaker 5: I'd walk out.

377
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 7: My boyfriend, who all call Kay and I had been

378
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Speaker 7: dating for four years after high school.

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Speaker 5: He asked me to move in with him in a

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Speaker 5: different state.

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Speaker 7: I agreed so that we can be together while we

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Speaker 7: attended college. By the way, this comes from Mayano Kiori.

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Speaker 7: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,280
Speaker 7: to the r slash okay story Teme's Upbreddit And I'm.

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Speaker 5: Angie, I'm Sophia.

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Speaker 2: And I'm Keon and we are not experts people.

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00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,680
Speaker 5: We are just here to give good advice. Goofily.

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00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 7: We haven't experienced all of these situations, so if you have,

389
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,040
Speaker 7: let us know what you would do or have done

390
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 7: in the comments, and Opie says, over the years we

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00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:14,720
Speaker 7: made amazing friends here, and he was just as kind

392
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 7: to me as when we first started dating. Cute, awkward

393
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:20,360
Speaker 7: text messages, surprise gifts, and flowers at least once every

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Speaker 7: two weeks. We had a date night every Thursday after

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Speaker 7: work as well. He also told me he loved me

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Speaker 7: at least once a day. Well, last week, I got

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Speaker 7: out of work early. I was in a good mood

398
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Speaker 7: because Kay had sent flowers to my workplace and ordered

399
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Speaker 7: me Chinese for lunch because I had mentioned that I

400
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,159
Speaker 7: had a taste for it the night before. On my

401
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,960
Speaker 7: way home from work, I picked up some of his

402
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 7: favorite donuts and went home. When I walked in the door,

403
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:46,439
Speaker 7: I could immediately hear the sounds oh oh oh. I

404
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,200
Speaker 7: walked to our bedroom to see that our friend Ellie

405
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Speaker 7: was on.

406
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Speaker 1: Top of him.

407
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,879
Speaker 5: No, my heart dropped.

408
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,360
Speaker 7: They'd known each other for ten years, but they were

409
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,399
Speaker 7: never close, or so I thought.

410
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Speaker 2: Yeah, little, they're really cl They're pretty close.

411
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 7: You can get they're pretty close. They didn't notice me

412
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 7: until I dropped the donuts.

413
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Speaker 5: Not the donuts.

414
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:08,360
Speaker 1: The donuts.

415
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 2: Was it like the box, Like all the donuts came

416
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Speaker 2: out like one.

417
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Speaker 7: I'm picking up one and dropping it like frosting.

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Speaker 5: First, shocking at them right.

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00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,320
Speaker 7: They quickly covered themselves up, and Kay got up to

420
00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 7: try and explain the situation to me, but I wasn't

421
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 7: hearing any of it. I packed a bag and left

422
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,880
Speaker 7: my friend's house. I spent a week at my friend's house,

423
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,199
Speaker 7: wondering if I wasn't satisfying him enough and what I

424
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:34,920
Speaker 7: did wrong. Both Kay and Elliet bombarded me with messages

425
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 7: trying to explain themselves. Kay told me that it just happened.

426
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,480
Speaker 7: He said that this really was the first time and

427
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,600
Speaker 7: it wasn't planned at all, that I should know that

428
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Speaker 7: this isn't the real hymn.

429
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 5: Of course it is. What else was it? I don't know.

430
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 5: Was it your clone? We're not in the metaverse right now?

431
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 6: Is you?

432
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 5: This is you? This is you exactly.

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00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 7: He explained that she came over and that one thing

434
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,280
Speaker 7: just led to another and it was a mistake that

435
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Speaker 7: he'd do anything to fix.

436
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 5: That's not how things lead to each other. Yeah, I

437
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 5: feel like you also wouldn't feel this way right after

438
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,439
Speaker 5: your finishing fact, like if you were just doing it.

439
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, Like if she didn't walk in at that same

440
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,199
Speaker 7: point in the day, you would have still kept you

441
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,920
Speaker 7: wouldn't have felt this way, so the only reason you're

442
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 7: saying this is because she saw you.

443
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 5: He's sent me pictures of an engagement ring as well

444
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 5: love bombing.

445
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 1: Oh.

446
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 7: Ellie messaged me as well, saying how she never meant

447
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 7: to hurt me and then it wasn't supposed to be

448
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,199
Speaker 7: this way. I decided to call my friend Ian and

449
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:36,639
Speaker 7: explain the situation to him. I asked him if he'd

450
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 7: be willing to come with me and help me grab

451
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 7: my things.

452
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,119
Speaker 5: Walk K was at work in the morning.

453
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 7: I explained the situation to my friends and family, and

454
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,119
Speaker 7: they all agree that leaving is the best option. I

455
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,880
Speaker 7: will be taking all of my things and flying back home.

456
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 7: My parents have sent me the money for a ticket,

457
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,600
Speaker 7: and I'll be moving back in with them for the

458
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 7: time being. I don't plan on telling Kay anything. He

459
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 7: will just come home to a partially empty apartment. There

460
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 7: are some relevant comments, but I want to hear your

461
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:01,719
Speaker 7: comments first.

462
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 5: Break up, Yeah, break up. Yeah.

463
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 6: They have no excuse for doing that. All of their

464
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 6: everything they've said is just so stupid.

465
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, the excuses don't make sense.

466
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 7: I didn't mean to hurt you, but you didn't mean

467
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 7: to do something that would hurt me, so.

468
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 5: Like, y, what do you mean you meant to sleep

469
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 5: with them? Yeah, and it hurt me. So that's kind

470
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:23,680
Speaker 5: of where we're at. And you knew that would happen.

471
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,560
Speaker 2: Services on that page, it's not what you think. I

472
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,240
Speaker 2: love you. Here's a ring.

473
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:32,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was cra crazy, that's crazy.

474
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 7: Min There are some comments. Cusco's dance partners says, I've

475
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 7: unfortunately been cheated on in a few relationships. It's always

476
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 7: an automatic deal breaker. There are no second chances. There

477
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,959
Speaker 7: is no going back from that. There's no reason they

478
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 7: could give that makes it okay. I don't understand why

479
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,920
Speaker 7: cheaters think an explanation will make it all better. You

480
00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,280
Speaker 7: did absolutely nothing wrong. None of this has anything to

481
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 7: do with you, and everything to do with your ex

482
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 7: and Ellie. I also agree with a few other comments.

483
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,160
Speaker 7: This is not the first time it's happened, agreed, It's

484
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 7: just the first time when he got caught. No way,

485
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,760
Speaker 7: it's the first time this has happened for sure. How

486
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 7: did Why was she coming over in the first place,

487
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 7: Why was she there?

488
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 5: Why? Like, one thing couldn't just lead to another? If not,

489
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 5: how things lead to each other? How it works?

490
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 7: Dude, and him setting a photo of an engagement ring

491
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 7: was a low blow. If he was truly in love

492
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 7: with you and sincerely wanted to marry you and spend

493
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 7: the rest of his life with you, he would not

494
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,080
Speaker 7: have been engaging in.

495
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,239
Speaker 5: The behavior that he was.

496
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,880
Speaker 7: It's a heart crushing thing to go through, and I'm

497
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 7: so sorry you were having to experience this.

498
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 5: That's cashi, okay uh. I'm a guy.

499
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 7: Two relationships three to four years each two and with

500
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 7: lots of cheating on me and lying, then I'd second

501
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,000
Speaker 7: chance them, and obviously it didn't matter, and that she

502
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 7: didn't kept going like, why don't you leave me first,

503
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 7: especially the second relationship, because we agreed that we would

504
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 7: leave each other first before cheating, and she even said, oh,

505
00:22:57,320 --> 00:23:00,239
Speaker 7: I'll never be that low and disgusting. Not saying this

506
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 7: to counter you, but reinforce the no second chances thing.

507
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 7: My first relationship didn't try to explain it away. They

508
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 7: literally just said I'm done. But Ben still slept in

509
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 7: the same bed, and then the second pulled a crying

510
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 7: move and anger at looking through her phone, so I

511
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 7: forgave her, but I.

512
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:20,880
Speaker 5: Knew it was over. But of course the cheating kept going, Yeah,

513
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 5: it's just.

514
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,199
Speaker 6: Not worth it to try and work like it's so

515
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 6: hard to work through that to rebuild trust.

516
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 5: And when like he's actively.

517
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 6: Lying about you know, this being the first time about

518
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 6: why he did it, then you're not gonna get anywhere

519
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 6: because if you don't start, like restart the relationship, which

520
00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 6: with just complete honesty, then it's just it doomed from

521
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 6: the start.

522
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 5: Yeah.

523
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 7: Absolutely, and we do have an update, so thank you

524
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 7: everyone for such supportive messages. For anyone who didn't see

525
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,399
Speaker 7: the update on my page, this is what happened. As planned,

526
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 7: my friend and my friend Ian and I went back

527
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 7: to the apartment in the morning when I knew Kay

528
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,159
Speaker 7: wouldn't be there to pack my things. We packed my

529
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,359
Speaker 7: things into our car, then went to have them chips

530
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 7: back to my parents' house. I got on my phone

531
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 7: to look at the security cameras, and Kay was throwing

532
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,639
Speaker 7: things around and acting like I'd never seen before.

533
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:09,439
Speaker 5: He'd always been.

534
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 7: Very level headed, so that was scary to me. He

535
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 7: called me at least one hundred times, but I'm not

536
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 7: going to answer. I decided to take your advice and

537
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 7: block both him and Ellie. I'll be on my flight

538
00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:22,200
Speaker 7: back to my parents tomorrow morning.

539
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 5: Art. Yeah, sorry it took so long for an update.

540
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 5: A lot of crazy.

541
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 7: Things happened after I got to my parents as I

542
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 7: was getting settled in. It turns out that a mutual

543
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 7: friend of ours told Kay what I was doing, and

544
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 7: he thought that it would be a good idea to

545
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 7: come to me in person and beg for my forgiveness.

546
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:41,400
Speaker 7: That's actually the worst idea. Don't talk to get out,

547
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 7: shoot to be honest. I almost had a moment of

548
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 7: weakness until it became a parent that he didn't come alone.

549
00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 5: He brought Ellie.

550
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 2: No crazy, they're gonna.

551
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 5: Hit We're Oh my goodness, that is so insane.

552
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 7: He said it was because he figured, with her also

553
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 7: guaranteeing that it wouldn't happen again, I would believe him

554
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 7: and go back to him.

555
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 5: That's crazy the logic, there's not logicing.

556
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 7: Ellie also decided that this was the best time to

557
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,000
Speaker 7: admit that she was pregnant and that Kay.

558
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 5: Might be a father.

559
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 6: Ah, I'm breaking up. I'm literally I mean she's already

560
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 6: breaking up. I think she already broke up.

561
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 7: She broke up and left the state, and they followed

562
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:26,760
Speaker 7: her by plane.

563
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 5: That is so insane. How dare you?

564
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,439
Speaker 7: How dare you follow me to my parents' house in

565
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 7: another state get out to.

566
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 5: Tell me that you're pregnant? That's insane? Why would I care.

567
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: Leave live on my kids? I'm gonna call police.

568
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 5: Bye bye, Go take your kid and go.

569
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:46,439
Speaker 6: Oh.

570
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 7: Kay said that even if he was the father or

571
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 7: he would only be there for the baby, that his

572
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 7: heart would only belong to me.

573
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 6: We already all that it doesn't. And why Elle telling

574
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,240
Speaker 6: it you that?

575
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 5: Or Ellie? Yeah? Why she the one who it's like

576
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,920
Speaker 5: confirming that his heart only belongs to you.

577
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,919
Speaker 7: I was furious and my heart was broken all over again.

578
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 7: It's also made it very apparent that it was indeed

579
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 7: not the first time.

580
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, because Kay wouldn't leave.

581
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,280
Speaker 7: My younger brother, eighteen, Mail also came out and started

582
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 7: calling Kay and Ellie all sorts of things, and it

583
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 7: led to a physical confrontation. My little brother shoved him,

584
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,360
Speaker 7: and thankfully Kay took that as a sign to leave.

585
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 7: This is all such a huge mess.

586
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 5: I don't want to see Kay or Ellie anymore. I

587
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 5: don't want to hear excuses. My heart feels like it's

588
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 5: been ripped apart.

589
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 7: They can have each other for all I care, and

590
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 7: we do have an update another update.

591
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,560
Speaker 6: What, oh man, you just need to leave your leave

592
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:39,960
Speaker 6: them all behind.

593
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 5: This is so insane, leave them all behind this straining corner.

594
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

595
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, honestly restraining word. Yeah, if he keeps bothering you, yeah, honestly.

596
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 7: But we do have another update. I'm sorry for the

597
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 7: late update. Don't be sorry, oh pee, I've been going

598
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 7: through a wave of different emotions. First, I'll address some

599
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 7: simple questions. I got out of college, thankfully prior to

600
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 7: this whole incident. I was already taking online courses. I

601
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 7: do plan to move back, but in my own apartment

602
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 7: later on. Now, as for what happened next between Kay

603
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 7: and I, he came back twice to try and apologize

604
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 7: and ask me to reconsider. He reminded me about how

605
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 7: I said I have never felt this way for someone before,

606
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 7: and that ending this would be a mistake, that we

607
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,919
Speaker 7: could work through these problems if I gave him a chance.

608
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,879
Speaker 7: I told him that I don't plan on being a

609
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 7: step parent to his mistress's kids. So even if I

610
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 7: dismissed the cheating, which I made clear that I wouldn't,

611
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 7: i'd break up with him because of that, he began

612
00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 7: crying and saying that he would try to change her

613
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 7: mind about the baby if it meant that I would

614
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 7: go back with him.

615
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 5: WHOA, that's crazy.

616
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: About having the baby.

617
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, leave me alone.

618
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 6: That is crazl genuinely like, leave ope alone.

619
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,439
Speaker 7: I hate them both. But to be honest, hearing that

620
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 7: made me feel disgusted. I told him that we were

621
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 7: done and he needed to leave. The second time, my

622
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 7: dad threatened him if he didn't leave the property. From

623
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,280
Speaker 7: what I hear now, he went back home and we

624
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 7: do have another update.

625
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 5: Oh man, it doesn't stat doesn't just don't quit.

626
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 2: I can't stop, won't stop, can't stop, won't stop.

627
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 5: I'm always I think we should just rush right into it. Yeah,

628
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 5: run on it.

629
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 4: Yep.

630
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 5: Update. Hello everyone, it's been quite a while, around a year.

631
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 7: I think I had to pull away from everything for

632
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 7: my own mental health, especially after I made that careless

633
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 7: late night post. But I truly appreciate all the encouraging

634
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 7: comments you all left for me on my original posts.

635
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 7: I thought I would give an update in case anyone

636
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,879
Speaker 7: here was wondering about what had happened after the mess.

637
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,840
Speaker 7: I'll start off by saying, no, I never got back

638
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 7: with K, and I never will.

639
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 5: If any of you remember my friend Ian, the one.

640
00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 7: Who helped me pack and get out of that situation, well,

641
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 7: we started dating about five months out of that situation

642
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 7: have been together ever since.

643
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 6: Okay, wonderful, marvelous.

644
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 7: He's helped me every step of the way and moving

645
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 7: on from what happened, and I'm so grateful to have him.

646
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 5: As for K, for the first.

647
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 7: Few months, he was doing everything in his power to

648
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 7: attempt to contact me, including showing up outside of my workplace.

649
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 7: I went to the police, but they told me that

650
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 7: there was nothing they could do since he didn't do

651
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,760
Speaker 7: anything yet. I then heard that while he was doing

652
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,719
Speaker 7: all this, he was dating Ellie and she didn't know

653
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 7: about it. I told her to get her man sent

654
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:20,960
Speaker 7: screenshots and then blocked her again.

655
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 5: How does he do it? Does he do it? I

656
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 5: just can't even believe it. Don't understand, don't understand it.

657
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,520
Speaker 5: My goodness. There's a little bit more.

658
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,720
Speaker 7: I hadn't heard from either of them since, but a

659
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 7: friend told me that she got pregnant for real this time,

660
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 7: and they had gotten married. They got divorced recently because

661
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 7: she cheated on him.

662
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 5: Shocking go figure shocking and that's the end of the story. Yeah,

663
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 5: the people say.

664
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: What goes around?

665
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, terrible friend, Ellie and your terrible partner, Oh whatever

666
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 6: his name is.

667
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your ogi host. Here, bring it back

668
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

669
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,280
Speaker 6: I kissed my crush while still dating my boyfriend.

670
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 5: O pie, you can't cheat like that.

671
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 6: Around a year ago, I committed to college to run

672
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 6: across country and track. I was searching through Instagram for

673
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 6: the team and was looking for my teammates that would

674
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 6: be joining me in the upcoming year. I found a guy,

675
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,200
Speaker 6: let's call him Emmett, who did similar events as me.

676
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 6: I thought he was cute and I started to have

677
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 6: a crush on him. Oh, by the way, this comes

678
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 6: from Gail Runner, And if you want to submit your

679
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 6: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story time,

680
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 6: separate it.

681
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 5: I'm Sophia, I'm Angie, and I'm Keon and we.

682
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 6: Haven't been in all of these situations, so we can

683
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 6: only give the best advice we've got. But if you've

684
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 6: been in these situations, let us know.

685
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 1: What you would do.

686
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 6: And ohp says he went to a high school that

687
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 6: I did not have any meetings with. The only meat

688
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 6: that I could see him perform at was the state meet.

689
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 6: I did not make it to the state meet. You

690
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 6: did a few months from the day I found him

691
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 6: on Instagram. I watched him at the state meet. I

692
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 6: cheered him on and I snapchatted and yeah, he added

693
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 6: me me on Snapchat.

694
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 7: Oh, whoa, you guys are practically married yep, and asked

695
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 7: if we could meet up.

696
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,959
Speaker 6: He agreed, but we didn't meet up. He was very

697
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 6: upset due to his poor performance. The only plus that

698
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 6: came from the meet was we started a Snapchat street.

699
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 6: Emma and I met up in between our orientations. I

700
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 6: made a bad impression because I had laryngitis. I sounded

701
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,280
Speaker 6: like a frog, and I got butterflies when I was

702
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,840
Speaker 6: talking to him. That interaction made me very excited for college.

703
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 6: For cross country, I had to move a week earlier

704
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 6: than everyone else at my college. That week later, all

705
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 6: the freshmen Aka and me had to go to a

706
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 6: welcoming college and go through some college rules. I checked

707
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 6: my phone before they started to talk, and I saw

708
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 6: it was Emmett's birthday.

709
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 4: Ooh.

710
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 6: One of the speakers had to pick a group leader.

711
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 6: Guess who they pick?

712
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,440
Speaker 5: Emmett. Emmett.

713
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 6: I was in the section of seating to be in

714
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 6: his group. I was so excited to be in his group.

715
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 6: I tried to talk to him, but it was very minimal.

716
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 6: I said my birthday to him and.

717
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 5: He appreciated it.

718
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,560
Speaker 6: After we got let out of the meeting, I decided

719
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 6: to give him a birthday card and get him cupcakes.

720
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:07,960
Speaker 4: Oh.

721
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 6: I planned to take the stuff to his room. He

722
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 6: lived in a different dorm building than me. When I

723
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,600
Speaker 6: was walking around in my first week of college before

724
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 6: everyone else came, I saw what room he lived in

725
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 6: the evening, I went to give him the card and cupcakes.

726
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 6: Emmett was very surprised by the stuff I gave him.

727
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 6: I talked to him a little bit, and I also

728
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 6: met his roommates. After we talked for a while, we

729
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 6: all went to a little dance.

730
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 5: That was hosted by the college.

731
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 6: At first, Emmitt went, but lost interest in it from

732
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:35,080
Speaker 6: him not staying. I thought he did not want to

733
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 6: be by me. I was sitting in one of my

734
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 6: classes waiting for its start. Then Emmett walks in.

735
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 4: Oohoo.

736
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 6: There was an open seat next to me, but he

737
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 6: did not sit next to me. After that class, I

738
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 6: wanted to talk to the professor. I was waiting in

739
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 6: line to talk to the professor and EMMITTT came in

740
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,160
Speaker 6: line too. We talked for a little bit and I

741
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 6: found out that he didn't know that I was in

742
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,239
Speaker 6: the class. The next time we had that class, he

743
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 6: came and sat by me.

744
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:57,600
Speaker 7: OOOO.

745
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 6: To move on from Emmett, I started to talk to

746
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 6: another guy. That guy and I did not last very long.

747
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,320
Speaker 6: He broke up with his X because of me. At first,

748
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:10,760
Speaker 6: whoa heartbreaker? Repy He that ignored me and got back

749
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 6: with his X.

750
00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 5: Yikes.

751
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 6: I then go from random guy to guy. I got

752
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,280
Speaker 6: lost during my troubled time of hopping from guy to

753
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 6: guy A big shot game. At dinner one night, a

754
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 6: group of freshmen across the country and I were eating.

755
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 6: Emmett and his roommates ate at the table with us.

756
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 6: As the rest of them got up, Emmett stayed. I

757
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 6: found that very weird of him to stay at dinner

758
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 6: for that long. After dinner, he snapchatted with me. He

759
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 6: told me that he thought my friend.

760
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 5: Let's call her Faith was cute. Ah.

761
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,360
Speaker 6: My heart dropped inside. I liked him but I disregarded

762
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 6: my feelings for my friend. They started dating because of

763
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 6: my help. They were each other's first kiss. I thought

764
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 6: that the relationship was going well. He would come to

765
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 6: our cross country meetings. They would always hang out in

766
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 6: Faith's room. They never show affection or like they were

767
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 6: dating around campus. It just felt off. Then Faith began

768
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,600
Speaker 6: to get panic attacks. I found out that they were

769
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:08,399
Speaker 6: doing intimate things. From the timing of everything, I knew

770
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:12,320
Speaker 6: that the relationship was causing Faith problem. After they dated

771
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 6: for three months, they got into a horrible fight. I

772
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 6: was at the library when their fight happened, and I

773
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 6: ran to Faith's room to figure out what happened in

774
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:22,799
Speaker 6: her Panic state. I got a general story of what

775
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 6: went out, and then went to Emmett's room to hear

776
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 6: his side of the story. Emmett and I talked for

777
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 6: a long time about his in Faith's relationship. I felt

778
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 6: horrible for him. His first relationship wasn't like what he

779
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 6: thought it would be. He didn't get to know her

780
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 6: very well. They never had a deep conversation. He told

781
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 6: her that he loved her, but he didn't know what

782
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 6: love was. I felt like we had a deeper conversation

783
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 6: than what he and Faith had ever had. I told

784
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 6: him to follow his heart. As I was leaving his room,

785
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 6: I gave him a hug. My heart stopped when he

786
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 6: hugged me. The next day, Emmett broke up with Faith.

787
00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 6: Towards the end of Emmett and Faith's relationship, I started

788
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 6: to talk to a guy let's call him Rob. I

789
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 6: found Rob on Tinder. I rarely used Tinder. I talked

790
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 6: to him for around two months, then we started to date.

791
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 6: He has seen me at my worst. I've told him

792
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 6: I love him. I'm still with him currently, but I've

793
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 6: started to lose feelings for him. One reason why I'm

794
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 6: losing feelings for him is the distance. We go to

795
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,760
Speaker 6: the same college and we hang out most days. However,

796
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 6: back in our hometowns we live three hours away. You

797
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 6: go to the same college.

798
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, so that sounds like.

799
00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,000
Speaker 7: That sounds like back then you have a lot of distance,

800
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 7: but now you're you hang out all the time.

801
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:32,240
Speaker 5: So what's the issue.

802
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 6: I don't understand what. That's kind of a crazy thing

803
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 6: to say. Yeah, I'd be like, if that were true,

804
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 6: no one in college would have relationships.

805
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just don't get that.

806
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 6: That doesn't make sense there is no distance there. You

807
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 6: go to the same college.

808
00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're making it up by talking about your distance

809
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,480
Speaker 7: back home, But what do you mean.

810
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 5: I don't ye.

811
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 6: This doesn't make any sense. I hate face to face interactions.

812
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 6: I do not like texting because it's hard to express

813
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,799
Speaker 6: myself and give emotion. Video chats get boring not that long.

814
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,560
Speaker 6: Another reason why is because he is struggling with my

815
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,320
Speaker 6: mental health. I was recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression,

816
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 6: and I had a past of self harm. Rob has

817
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 6: some mental health issues too. I got medications and I'm

818
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,320
Speaker 6: still adapting to it. My mental health overall has been improving,

819
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 6: but it still needs some work. Rob has recently been

820
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 6: putting a negative cloud over me. He would always pick

821
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 6: pointless arguments. He would question everything that I did, even

822
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,160
Speaker 6: with simple things. He would always question if I loved

823
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 6: him or not. He would ask me questions when I

824
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 6: didn't say anything when I wanted to just think. He

825
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 6: would literally question me if I were to take a

826
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 6: deep breath. Before Rob and I started talking, he was

827
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 6: very active physically and romantically. I had been intimate before, too,

828
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 6: but my interest in that area wasn't as strong as his. Personally,

829
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,880
Speaker 6: I wanted to take a step back from intimacy. I

830
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 6: had gone through a very unhealthy and hurtfull relationship in

831
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 6: high school, and I wanted to distance myself from that

832
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 6: side of things. My mental health issues sparked from that relationship.

833
00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 6: When I started to be with Rob, I told them

834
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 6: that I didn't want to be physically intimate. Although he

835
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 6: said he understood, I still felt like we were being

836
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:07,759
Speaker 6: intimate more often than I was comfortable with. To me,

837
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 6: it didn't feel like true affection or connection. Well, he

838
00:37:11,239 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 6: thought it did. Honestly, I would have preferred not to

839
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 6: be intimate at all. You might be wondering what my

840
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 6: situation is. Well, during our spring break, I got very bored.

841
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 6: One day on a whim, I asked Emmett to hang

842
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,760
Speaker 6: out as friend. You need to break up with your boyfriend.

843
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 6: You don't like your boyfriend, and.

844
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 5: She said that she's still with that.

845
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 6: You literally don't like your boyfriend.

846
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, because you're bored. Because you're bored, you said

847
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 5: it bored.

848
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,960
Speaker 6: Emmett drove an hour and a half to pick me up.

849
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 6: We drove to the big city that I lived nearby.

850
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,479
Speaker 6: We went on a walk and we were talking about

851
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 6: a lot of random things. It mainly was making fun

852
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,840
Speaker 6: of each other. We went back to his car and

853
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 6: sat in there and kept talking. We got into a

854
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 6: friendly fight. Then we started to wrestle a little. I

855
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 6: leaned in towards Emmett and we began to kiss. Oooh,

856
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 6: you fool.

857
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 5: You wrestled a little bit.

858
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 6: You wrestled, but we made out for a very long time.

859
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 6: He was feeling my chest and my butt. E. I

860
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 6: had imagined that moment for a year.

861
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 7: At that point, I think you, silly goose, Opie, silly goose,

862
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,080
Speaker 7: silly goose.

863
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 5: I think you should break up with your boyfriend. Up

864
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:19,479
Speaker 5: with your boy friend. You just cheated on your boy friend.

865
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:22,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, you don't like him, you hate him, actually, yeah,

866
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 7: you're bored with him, and you think that being closer

867
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 7: together is actually too much distance. Like I feel like

868
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 7: she said she had a distance problem, and it sounds

869
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 7: like she's like, the distance problem is that we're too

870
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 7: close to each other.

871
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, you can't.

872
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 6: The distance problem is that they're still together.

873
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,720
Speaker 5: Right. I don't know what to say to you, Opie.

874
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't break up with your boyfriend.

875
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 5: Yeah.

876
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 6: After we stopped, he had to take me home. The

877
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 6: car ride back was very odd because we did not

878
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,840
Speaker 6: speak that much. As he pulled up to my house,

879
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 6: I wanted to give him one last kiss, but he denied.

880
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 6: I said okay and left his car. I was in

881
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 6: shock afterwards. I kissed emmittt.

882
00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:01,880
Speaker 2: No, I say it like she was giddy.

883
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 5: I kissed Emmitt.

884
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,239
Speaker 6: He did not snapchat me for a few hours, and

885
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,120
Speaker 6: I knew something was wrong. I texted about what had happened,

886
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 6: and we both agreed that it was weird and that

887
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 6: we should let that go and retain our friendship. I

888
00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 6: couldn't let it go. I wanted him, but I don't

889
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 6: know how he feels about me.

890
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:21,040
Speaker 5: I think you do, Opie. I do. He literally made

891
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 5: out of you. We all know how he feels about you.

892
00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:25,839
Speaker 7: I don't think he's that interested in He just made

893
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,759
Speaker 7: out with you, didn't want to kiss you goodbye, yah,

894
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,439
Speaker 7: didn't talk to you in the car, and isn't talking

895
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,439
Speaker 7: to you on snapchat. I feel like, what's wrong here

896
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,839
Speaker 7: is the fact that he's not into you, our girl.

897
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 5: I'll bring up with your friend.

898
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,560
Speaker 2: Uh oh, Opie, you might be a bad kisser.

899
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,520
Speaker 5: Well if they made up for well yeah, no.

900
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,920
Speaker 6: The I have a song that reminds me of Emmett.

901
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 6: I have been listening to that song since the State meet.

902
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 5: Oh my god, my god, this girl, she's poor girl.

903
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 6: I can't stop listening to that song. I can't stop

904
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,680
Speaker 6: thinking about that moment. I can't stop thinking about Emmett.

905
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:59,160
Speaker 6: I want to wear things out with Rob, However the

906
00:39:59,239 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 6: VID makes se him hard. I don't want to tell

907
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 6: Rob that I kissed Emmett. I don't know what to do.

908
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 6: What should I do?

909
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 7: Break up with your boyfriend, yes, break up with your boyfriend?

910
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 5: Maybe like invest in some hobbies, like get some hobby's

911
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 5: girlt hobbies.

912
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:15,880
Speaker 7: I feel like I don't know if you think that

913
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 7: something's wrong with like Emmett when he's not talking to

914
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:19,680
Speaker 7: you and stuff.

915
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,799
Speaker 5: I feel like you're too I feel like you're too

916
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 5: indep too far in. You're so head over heels for

917
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 5: this boy. You you sweet, sweet child.

918
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,160
Speaker 7: You're probably just young and just yea all like literally

919
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 7: plans rom colums whatever.

920
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 5: But I don't think you're in one. I just have

921
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,160
Speaker 5: a feeling. You know, you kiss him. That so exciting.

922
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,480
Speaker 7: I don't think it's going to be everything that you wanted,

923
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 7: So don't get too hooked on this guy.

924
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:43,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, have some things for yourself just in case, but

925
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 5: not Rob. Yeah. Rob, Rob cannot be your hobby. That's

926
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:47,640
Speaker 5: my one condition.

927
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,360
Speaker 2: Robbie, Yep, you're Robbie.

928
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 5: But uh, that's the end of that story. My boyfriend

929
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,720
Speaker 5: pocketed my rent money for a year.

930
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:59,000
Speaker 1: WHOA, that's the felony.

931
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 7: I've been together for five years. We live on a

932
00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 7: property my boyfriend's dad is renting. His mom and dad

933
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 7: live in one house on the property and we live

934
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 7: on the other. When we moved in, he told us

935
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 7: the rent was sixteen hundred dollars for the house, so

936
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 7: eight hundred each for my boyfriend thirty mail and me

937
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:19,960
Speaker 7: twenty seven female. A steal, I know, However, I just

938
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 7: found out that my boyfriend and his dad came to

939
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 7: an agreement at the start of the lease last spring

940
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,239
Speaker 7: that his dad would pay our rent in full and

941
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,800
Speaker 7: that the money that I pay my boyfriend for rent,

942
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 7: which I had presumed that he would pass along to

943
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,879
Speaker 7: his dad for rent, they agreed that my boyfriend could

944
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:38,960
Speaker 7: keep that money. By the way, this comes from a

945
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:40,880
Speaker 7: username and if you want to submit your own stories,

946
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 7: go to the ur slash Okay storytime.

947
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 5: Sep bred It and I'm Angie, I'm.

948
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: Dakota, and I am Keon and Nop says.

949
00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,439
Speaker 7: He said they wanted to help him out by paying

950
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 7: his rent and his car while he lived here with them,

951
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 7: so this was how they thought to do it. I

952
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 7: immediately felt betrayed for not being involved and knowing about this,

953
00:41:58,080 --> 00:41:58,479
Speaker 7: but I.

954
00:41:58,440 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 5: Also felt like it's a bit enough.

955
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 7: It's cool because I wasn't aware of where my rent

956
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:02,879
Speaker 7: money was going.

957
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 5: I had been.

958
00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,280
Speaker 7: Suspicious for a while, but I finally had the courage

959
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 7: to ask.

960
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 5: He admitted it, and my stomach sank.

961
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 7: His first reaction was to be mad at me for

962
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 7: being upset about it. His point of view is that

963
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,399
Speaker 7: they didn't tell me because it's not my business since

964
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:22,239
Speaker 7: I'm paying rent regardless. Therefore, if his dad wants to

965
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 7: give him eight hundred dollars a month for his car

966
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 7: and also pays rent to help him, this is a

967
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 7: less roundabout way of doing it.

968
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,840
Speaker 5: He just keeps the eight hundred dollars that I'm sending

969
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,120
Speaker 5: for rent. He said.

970
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 7: In essence, it isn't my money since it's rent money,

971
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 7: so I shouldn't care where it ends up.

972
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:44,920
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, well okay, yeah, I think this now

973
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 3: becomes less because he's right about that, and now this

974
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 3: becomes less of a problem of like, my boyfriend is

975
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:54,840
Speaker 3: pocketing my rent money versus my my boyfriend's dad is

976
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 3: like just giving him eight hundred dollars a month for

977
00:42:59,120 --> 00:42:59,600
Speaker 3: no reason.

978
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 1: Where's eight hundred dollars a month? I don't know.

979
00:43:02,719 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 5: Yeah.

980
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 7: He also said that his dad asked him to keep

981
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 7: it in between him and his parents, so he was

982
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 7: put in a weird position. I can see how this

983
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 7: logically makes sense, but I can't help but feel like

984
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 7: I've been paying him eight hundred dollars a month to

985
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 7: keep without my knowledge. I'm not upset about his parents

986
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,399
Speaker 7: helping him, that is between them, and I don't want

987
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 7: to have my rent covered either. I'm grateful for the

988
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 7: cheap rent and believe that I should be paying rent.

989
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 7: It's just the dishonesty and the fact that he just

990
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,919
Speaker 7: transferred my rent money into his bank account without telling

991
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 7: me for a year.

992
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 5: That feels so wrong to me.

993
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 7: We split everything else equally, like groceries, utilities, and internet,

994
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:40,760
Speaker 7: except the occasional date night where he pays. I'm closed

995
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 7: with his family and frequently have them over for dinner,

996
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 7: so it hurts that they all knew something that I didn't.

997
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:48,439
Speaker 5: I have a full time job and a side job.

998
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 7: My boyfriend is self employed but doesn't make too much

999
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 7: from that. I don't typically mind, but I would like

1000
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 7: us to be more open with each other about finances.

1001
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 7: I don't know how to move forward from this, even

1002
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 7: though I want to be under standing and kind to him,

1003
00:44:01,719 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 7: because he says that it's a nuanced situation and that

1004
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,200
Speaker 7: I should know he isn't the type of person to

1005
00:44:06,239 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 7: steal from me. He has apologized for the dishonesty, but.

1006
00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 5: Still doesn't see the issue.

1007
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 7: The relationship hasn't been perfect, but it has been a

1008
00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,919
Speaker 7: worth staying in for five years. I just don't know

1009
00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 7: how to get rid of this gut feeling that this

1010
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 7: situation doesn't sit right with me. Plus rent was due

1011
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 7: yesterday and I haven't paid him yet. Is this grounds

1012
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 7: for a breakup or can we work through it? If so,

1013
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 7: how or is it truly none of my business? Any

1014
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 7: advice is so appreciated, and there are some comments, but

1015
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 7: I want to hear yours first.

1016
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,400
Speaker 3: Dakota, I guess just talk to the dad and be like,

1017
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 3: what is our rent situation?

1018
00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 2: Go to the source, go to the source.

1019
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,720
Speaker 3: It's like, the situation is that the dad pays, sends

1020
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:51,560
Speaker 3: the check to whoever needs the money. Yeah, because it's

1021
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 3: not your dad owns the lander's rent whatever, but yeah,

1022
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,120
Speaker 3: he doesn't own it's I guess he's still paying it off, right,

1023
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 3: But I don't know. It's just it's weird math because

1024
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 3: why would you want Yeah, wouldn't he just not pay

1025
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 3: any if you're if you're giving him half of the

1026
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 3: rent money back in cash, so you rationalize, we'll just

1027
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 3: keep the rent money your girlfriend gives you. Couldn't you

1028
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 3: just also be like, you don't have to give me

1029
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 3: any rent money because then that saves you that much

1030
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 3: money per month since I just give it back to you.

1031
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: But then it becomes an issue of why is my

1032
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:29,000
Speaker 3: as op? It's like, why am I the only one

1033
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 3: paying rent in the house. Then it's like, well, no,

1034
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 3: you're I'm actually paying rent, but it's being subsidized at

1035
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 3: the exact same time, Yeah, by my dad.

1036
00:45:36,719 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 7: It's like exactly, It's just like what it's at the

1037
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:43,880
Speaker 7: end of the day, everyone is still getting and giving

1038
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,879
Speaker 7: the same amount of money that they would. It's just

1039
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 7: a it's just like a weird way to do it,

1040
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,959
Speaker 7: and it's it really is just the dishonesty.

1041
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 4: You know.

1042
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 7: Cool, But there is more to the story and some

1043
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,760
Speaker 7: cunts run Jeep sleep, No, run jump sleep.

1044
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 5: I'm confused.

1045
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,320
Speaker 7: Boyfriend's dad is renting a property that has two houses,

1046
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 7: but is paying rent for each of the houses separately

1047
00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 7: or subletting one. You sure boyfriend's dad doesn't just own

1048
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 7: the entire property. I would bet boyfriend's dad doesn't expect

1049
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,759
Speaker 7: any rent for the house, and boyfriend just told that

1050
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:17,600
Speaker 7: story to get money from Op, just like.

1051
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:18,040
Speaker 5: What you said.

1052
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 7: Op says, No, it's like a big property with two

1053
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 7: small houses and their businesses on it. He rents the

1054
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,800
Speaker 7: entire plot of land, he doesn't own it. Each house

1055
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 7: used to have its own rent, along with the business spot,

1056
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 7: but now he just rents all three.

1057
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 5: In one big lease. Run jumpsleep responds, So.

1058
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:40,200
Speaker 7: There is technically, uh, no, sixteen hundred dollars in rent

1059
00:46:40,239 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 7: to pay if he rents the entire property. It's just

1060
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,439
Speaker 7: you paying eight hundred dollars to your boyfriend. Dad isn't

1061
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 7: actually putting out any extra money for rent. He would

1062
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 7: be paying the same amount even if you and the

1063
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,400
Speaker 7: boyfriend weren't there since he rents the entire property, you

1064
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 7: are being scammed. Ruby Mama in ninety eight says, before

1065
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 7: you knew this, would you have described your relationship as

1066
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,799
Speaker 7: having no real secrets? Has it changed how you view

1067
00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:05,360
Speaker 7: him or your relationship on a whole. Consider if you

1068
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,960
Speaker 7: were in a different rental agreement and his parents were

1069
00:47:07,960 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 7: helping him financially without being involved in the rental agreement.

1070
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 5: He doesn't tell you. Do you feel the same way.

1071
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,880
Speaker 7: Do you feel like your relationship should be past the

1072
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,880
Speaker 7: not sharing important information stage?

1073
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 5: Do you feel betrayed? Does his remorse match your feelings?

1074
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 4: Hope?

1075
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 5: He responds, these are good questions.

1076
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,480
Speaker 7: I would say there were no real secrets before, but

1077
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 7: this has changed how I view the whole relationship with

1078
00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 7: him and the one I had with his parents too.

1079
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 7: After five years, I really felt like family, not a stranger.

1080
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 7: I don't think i'd feel the same way if my

1081
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 7: run money wasn't involved at all. I do feel like

1082
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:44,240
Speaker 7: our relationships past the stage of not sharing financial info.

1083
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:48,520
Speaker 7: We've discussed marriage. I do feel betrayed. His remorse doesn't

1084
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 7: match my feelings. He's trying to dust it under the

1085
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 7: rug and move on from it because he doesn't see

1086
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 7: it as a big deal. But we do have an update.

1087
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,480
Speaker 7: I've been with my boy for six years now. He's

1088
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 7: a content creator and posts two to three times a

1089
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 7: year when certain products are released. Once you're a content creator,

1090
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:10,720
Speaker 7: you post two to three times a year.

1091
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:11,799
Speaker 5: I thought you were gonna say, a.

1092
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 1: Week, will you Bill worked?

1093
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 5: That's crazy. Oh my god, that's hilarious.

1094
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 1: Out Bill Wurds, though honestly one of the biggest geniuses.

1095
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 5: Ever, shut out to you. Bill. I have a nine

1096
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,400
Speaker 5: to five that is in my passion.

1097
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 7: I work from home about thirty five hours a week,

1098
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,120
Speaker 7: forty on a hard week, and I have a side

1099
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:33,280
Speaker 7: job related to my full time job that takes about

1100
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,879
Speaker 7: ten to fifteen hours a month. I love my job,

1101
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:38,440
Speaker 7: although it can be stressful at times, but it's ultimately

1102
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 7: what I want to be doing, and I really don't

1103
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 7: think I overwork or prioritize it more than other things.

1104
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 7: I've always been super open about finances, but my boyfriend

1105
00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 7: has not, which I respected and didn't push. After some

1106
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 7: unpleasant conversations about finances, I thought as long as he

1107
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:56,080
Speaker 7: had it together, I was okay with it. Recently, I

1108
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,280
Speaker 7: found out that he is getting help from his parents

1109
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 7: on rent and his car payment, so I'm the only

1110
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 7: one paying rent essentially, and.

1111
00:49:02,320 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 5: He hasn't made a livable wage.

1112
00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 7: From his content creation since around the VID, which is

1113
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 7: why he needs the help. When he isn't making content,

1114
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,440
Speaker 7: which he makes contents about three weeks out of the year,

1115
00:49:13,320 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 7: he's doing whatever he wants to all day long, so

1116
00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:19,480
Speaker 7: he doesn't work. So he's like, oh, I need support because.

1117
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 3: I don't work at all, okay, and this is you

1118
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:25,239
Speaker 3: know what, and it's I feel like my suspicions are

1119
00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 3: being confirmed now.

1120
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, what parent is going to sign off on that?

1121
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1122
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: What parent is going to be like?

1123
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 3: Oh, you're like completely like without income, your job, your

1124
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 3: career you do twice a year, right and it makes

1125
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 3: no money? Oh yeah, go ahead and just take eight

1126
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 3: hundred bucks from your girlfriend.

1127
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:46,560
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1128
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: No, I feel like boyfriend is a lyon.

1129
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 7: We've been living together for two years now, and it's

1130
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 7: frustrating that he hasn't tried to find another source of income.

1131
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,600
Speaker 7: And it's just okay with taking help from his parents.

1132
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 7: He's not a nine to five type of person and

1133
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,600
Speaker 7: that's okay, but I would like him to do something.

1134
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,719
Speaker 7: We were arguing recently over the financial situation, and he

1135
00:50:04,800 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 7: told me that my job is taking away from my

1136
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,799
Speaker 7: ability to be one hundred percent present in our relationship,

1137
00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 7: and then it doesn't benefit him at all.

1138
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 5: Well, clearly it does, because you're getting eight hundred dollars

1139
00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:15,680
Speaker 5: every month.

1140
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 7: Come on, he thinks the time I spend working and

1141
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:22,880
Speaker 7: then carry over after work, whether it's stress or tiredness,

1142
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:26,240
Speaker 7: is affecting us negatively. He also said he doesn't benefit

1143
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 7: from me having this job. I disagree, since I'm the

1144
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 7: only one actually affording rent and our split household costs

1145
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 7: like groceries. He also said that if my focus was

1146
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 7: one hundred percent on our household, then our house between

1147
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,320
Speaker 7: both of us would be spotless.

1148
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:44,279
Speaker 3: There's no way this unemployed grifter is telling you you

1149
00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 3: need to clean the house more. Yeah, that's crazy wild.

1150
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 3: He's literally grifting you out of ten grand.

1151
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's like you're you're a stay at home boyfriend

1152
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:57,200
Speaker 7: right now. This isn't I'm being I'm the breadwinner here.

1153
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 7: You can't be telling someone like, oh, well, your normal

1154
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 7: full time job is taking away too much time from

1155
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 7: our relationship.

1156
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:07,919
Speaker 5: How much time do you need to be put into

1157
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,080
Speaker 5: our relationship?

1158
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 7: That's normal. You need to have a job, you need

1159
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 7: to have time away from each other like that.

1160
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 5: It's crazy.

1161
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 7: I'll admit I'm messier, occasionally leaving my coffee mug and

1162
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,560
Speaker 7: breakfast dishes in the sink until after work, or not

1163
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 7: getting a chance to clean the litter box during my

1164
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:27,680
Speaker 7: work day. I also have ADHD, so we'll let laundry

1165
00:51:27,719 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 7: pile up in my office git cluttered, but I'm working

1166
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:32,560
Speaker 7: on it and always make sure that our common area

1167
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 7: is tidy. I think this is normal, but he sees

1168
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,719
Speaker 7: it as a lack of investment on my part. For

1169
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 7: the record, no, he doesn't do more of the housework

1170
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,399
Speaker 7: than me, other than vacuuming the house one to two

1171
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 7: times a day, but dishes, bathrooms everything else.

1172
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 5: We split. I do most of the cooking too.

1173
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: Oh you've already you're the only investor here.

1174
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 5: Yeah. Literally.

1175
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 7: He basically told me that he doesn't regret not having

1176
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,399
Speaker 7: a job for the past two years because we were

1177
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:59,799
Speaker 7: able to spend a lot of time together, and that

1178
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 7: I'm ungrateful for not seeing the things that he does

1179
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 7: for me, like make me the occasional breakfast or coffee

1180
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 7: during work. I'm grateful for these moments, But in my opinion,

1181
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 7: now is when we should be working to build a

1182
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 7: life together, which involves financial contribution from both parties and

1183
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 7: a reminder to everyone, OPI is twenty six and this

1184
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 7: man is thirty, or she's twenty seven or something like that.

1185
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,719
Speaker 7: Either way, this man is thirty. This is around the

1186
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:26,920
Speaker 7: time where you want to.

1187
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 5: Start planning for kids or a house of your own.

1188
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,919
Speaker 3: You're doing something, you got it, You're doing something, doing

1189
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:38,759
Speaker 3: something besides just taking eight hundred bucks from your partner, right.

1190
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 7: I honestly would have preferred less time together the past

1191
00:52:42,200 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 7: two years if it meant that we could talk about marriage,

1192
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,759
Speaker 7: buying a house, having kids in a realistic way. Now,

1193
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 7: given that I'm supporting myself on about sixty k a

1194
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 7: year and he isn't contributing anything else, that scares me.

1195
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:58,120
Speaker 7: He said, he never wants to be the person that

1196
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,359
Speaker 7: work takes them away from their family, or who prioritizes

1197
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 7: work over their family. He's raised the concern that if

1198
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,200
Speaker 7: we had kids, I'd be distracted by my job. I

1199
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 7: had working parents growing up, and it just makes sense

1200
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 7: to me that I'd be able to have both without

1201
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,600
Speaker 7: being villainized. His belittlement of my job is hurtful because

1202
00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:18,840
Speaker 7: he knows it's my dream job and a super competitive field,

1203
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,839
Speaker 7: so I care about it, but I also do prioritize

1204
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 7: our home the rest of the time. I feel like

1205
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,120
Speaker 7: he doesn't understand since he's never had a normal job.

1206
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 7: He's been working on creating an app that he says

1207
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 7: can bring us a lot of money in the future,

1208
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 7: and he's upset that I'm not being super supportive of it. Honestly,

1209
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 7: I am supportive and I'm happy he's so invested in

1210
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:40,760
Speaker 7: this project, but I wanted him to find a steadier

1211
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 7: source of income first. Is this just a difference in

1212
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,040
Speaker 7: values that we can work through or does it sound

1213
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 7: like a deal breaker? And it's add I forgot an

1214
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 7: important detail. He said he had to work on his

1215
00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 7: mental health for the past few years, which is why

1216
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 7: he didn't seek a job sooner as well. This made

1217
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 7: me feel bad because I'm empathetic to his mental health struggles,

1218
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:03,399
Speaker 7: but he never shared this with me, so from my

1219
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 7: point of view, it.

1220
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 5: Looks like a last a lack of care or effort.

1221
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,359
Speaker 7: What do we think about taking three years off work

1222
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:10,320
Speaker 7: for his mental health?

1223
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 5: What do you think about that?

1224
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:15,920
Speaker 3: No? Yeah, I mean I think no, I think at

1225
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 3: that point you file for disability.

1226
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:18,319
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1227
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, God, I just if he's not lying about his

1228
00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 7: parents supporting him in this way, everything else in his

1229
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,240
Speaker 7: life does seem to be pointing to just spoiled child

1230
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 7: and not understanding that you have to like work for

1231
00:54:32,040 --> 00:54:34,959
Speaker 7: your money and like what we were saying earlier of like, yeah,

1232
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:40,440
Speaker 7: you either spend the time harvesting crops and hunting to

1233
00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:45,279
Speaker 7: like survive, or you work for money to do these

1234
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 7: things and to be able to spend time, like you

1235
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 7: have to earn money to take care of your children.

1236
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 7: That's like, yes, quality time is important, but also you know,

1237
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 7: buying groceries is important and all that stuff.

1238
00:54:58,480 --> 00:55:04,240
Speaker 1: Like unimployed for three years three years.

1239
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:06,280
Speaker 5: Wild, I was scept for the three times he posts

1240
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:06,600
Speaker 5: a year.

1241
00:55:06,719 --> 00:55:09,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, except for that, which is not real. By the way,

1242
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,840
Speaker 3: you no one, it's you can't.

1243
00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 7: You're not a content creator. If you're doing that, that's

1244
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:21,160
Speaker 7: not what you do. But there is a little bit

1245
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 7: more to this story. Update number two. This is two

1246
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 7: months now after the last post on moving out who.

1247
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 1: Gradually Let's go Billy Joel.

1248
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:35,000
Speaker 7: I got approved for an apartment this weekend, and I'm

1249
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,080
Speaker 7: excited to have this space to gain my.

1250
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:38,360
Speaker 5: Own perspective and clarity.

1251
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,080
Speaker 7: We're staying together for now, and we'll see how it

1252
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 7: goes when I move out. I think he's seeing it

1253
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,840
Speaker 7: as an opportunity for me to regret moving out and

1254
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:47,759
Speaker 7: come back to him, but I wanted to be an

1255
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,319
Speaker 7: opportunity for him to get his life together and build

1256
00:55:50,360 --> 00:55:53,239
Speaker 7: a life with me. I'm aware it's unlikely things will

1257
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:56,279
Speaker 7: work out how I'm hoping, but I think whether we

1258
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:59,240
Speaker 7: break up or stay together, moving out is the best

1259
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 7: next step. Thank you to everyone who gave advice and

1260
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:03,320
Speaker 7: validated how.

1261
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 5: I was feeling.

1262
00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 7: It's a weird situation, and after a lot of therapy

1263
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 7: and thinking, I'm okay with the fact that I don't

1264
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:10,279
Speaker 7: have to.

1265
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 5: Keep playing a game with rules that I don't understand.

1266
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 7: And to add that we had only lived in the

1267
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:18,080
Speaker 7: house for about a year when I found out about

1268
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:18,439
Speaker 7: the rent.

1269
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,280
Speaker 5: We haven't lived there together the whole five years.

1270
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,720
Speaker 7: Of the relationship. And that's the end of that story.

1271
00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 7: My goodness, it's exhausting.

1272
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 1: Hey y'all, it's John Ogi host here. We're gonna get

1273
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 1: back to the story. So but here's a quick three

1274
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: minute break from as for more sponsors.

1275
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 3: My girlfriend acted inappropriately with her former in laws.

1276
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 5: What kind of inappropriate are we're talking about.

1277
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 3: Let's find out. We were scheduled to get married in September.

1278
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,919
Speaker 3: She female, twenty seven, has a six year old son.

1279
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 3: I mail thirty two. Get along really well with him.

1280
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:53,320
Speaker 3: He's easy to get along with. She had been insisting

1281
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,800
Speaker 3: that I meet his dad's family because she's still close

1282
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:58,400
Speaker 3: with them. I met one of her ex brother in

1283
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,880
Speaker 3: laws at a rest by chance, and he gave me

1284
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 3: grief about quote, stealing his brother's wife.

1285
00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:06,920
Speaker 1: He was a wasted.

1286
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:09,759
Speaker 3: Idiot who wanted to get physical and by the way,

1287
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 3: this comes from user read it well, and if you

1288
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,279
Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1289
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 3: slash okay storytime sub reddit.

1290
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, and I'm Angie and I am Keon.

1291
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:21,480
Speaker 1: And Op says.

1292
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:24,960
Speaker 3: I met her when she had been divorced for three

1293
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:28,240
Speaker 3: years and separated for four. But I guess this guy

1294
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,760
Speaker 3: still sees her as his brother's property.

1295
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 1: She's been insisting that.

1296
00:57:32,600 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 3: The rest of them are nothing like this one idiot,

1297
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:39,560
Speaker 3: and they're really educated in classy. I still never wanted

1298
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:42,560
Speaker 3: to meet them. I had started to feel like a knucklehead.

1299
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,720
Speaker 3: So I finally agreed to attend birthday party at the

1300
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 3: house of one of her former in laws.

1301
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 1: Bad idea. I don't know, bro.

1302
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 3: I think if you're gonna, like seriously date this woman,

1303
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 3: like you should know her son's family.

1304
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:58,479
Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like it wouldn't hurt.

1305
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 1: Well, it's like you're gonna have too. Yeah, you need

1306
00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 1: to understand.

1307
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: You're gonna have to get along with the former hat

1308
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,960
Speaker 3: because that's still her son's family.

1309
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, that might be your son someday.

1310
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 3: Play cards, right, if you're getting married, if that was

1311
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 3: the plan, right, you're gonna have to be cool with

1312
00:58:18,280 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 3: those people.

1313
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 1: Or you probably not gonna get married.

1314
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:24,240
Speaker 3: As soon as we arrived, she was greeted by a

1315
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 3: bunch of men, all former in laws, and some of

1316
00:58:27,680 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 3: them hugged her inappropriately, and a couple of them cupped

1317
00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 3: her butt. Oh when they hugged her. She was sober

1318
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 3: at this point. I pulled her aside and confronted her

1319
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,480
Speaker 3: about it, and she totally denied it, said that she

1320
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,880
Speaker 3: didn't feel it and that I was imagining things and

1321
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,440
Speaker 3: that she would slap anyone who did that. I have

1322
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 3: to agree there, right, Let's keep going. She started drinking

1323
00:58:50,000 --> 00:58:54,200
Speaker 3: and the flirting got worse. She was soon doing body

1324
00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:57,240
Speaker 3: shots with a bunch of these men, all family members

1325
00:58:57,400 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 3: or friends of her ex who was not in attendance. Huh,

1326
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:04,880
Speaker 3: so that's the only guy you would really need to

1327
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 3: be I think concerned about, right, and he's not there.

1328
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 7: Well, I'm concerned with this or like girl now though

1329
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:16,160
Speaker 7: she's doing body shots with these people.

1330
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:20,560
Speaker 1: That does sound really crazy.

1331
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 3: She was soon doing body shots with a bunch of

1332
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,160
Speaker 3: these men, all family members are friends of her ex

1333
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:28,160
Speaker 3: who was not in attendance. Then she was dancing with

1334
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:32,120
Speaker 3: some of them while grinding all over each other sensing another.

1335
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 5: Eh.

1336
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 3: From the looks of it, that's how she behaves around

1337
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,480
Speaker 3: this group all the time. There's no way this was

1338
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 3: a one time deal. I decided to leave, and she stayed.

1339
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 3: She called me at about two am begging me to

1340
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 3: pick her up because some of the guys quote wanted to.

1341
00:59:48,640 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 1: Take advantage of her. Oh and I didn't pick her up.

1342
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:55,560
Speaker 7: Okay, Now this is where you're getting into a whole territory.

1343
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:57,520
Speaker 5: If she's saying that.

1344
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 7: And you didn't pick her up, and now you're like

1345
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 7: leaving her in an unsafe situation. No, matter what you

1346
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:08,040
Speaker 7: think or if you believe it, or if you think

1347
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:10,880
Speaker 7: that she was like, you know, doing things to.

1348
01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 5: Encourage that all night. Ask those questions later. You got

1349
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 5: to help her.

1350
01:00:17,200 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I had never seen this side of her. We've

1351
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 3: drank together many times, but the events we go to

1352
01:00:23,520 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 3: don't get as wild as that one. They're more civilized,

1353
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 3: adult events that are pretty tame by comparison. The next evening,

1354
01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 3: she showed up at my house acting like nothing had happened.

1355
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 3: I confronted her and she said I was exaggerating. She

1356
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:42,439
Speaker 3: also said that they would always be like family to her,

1357
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,760
Speaker 3: so that I need to get over it. As far

1358
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 3: as her being close with them, I told her that

1359
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 3: I wasn't willing to get over it. So she said

1360
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 3: that I could always call off the wedding because she

1361
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 3: wasn't going to give up lifelong friends for me, and

1362
01:00:54,840 --> 01:00:57,600
Speaker 3: then she stormed out. I called her and told her

1363
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,320
Speaker 3: it was over, and she said, good. It's it's been

1364
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:03,920
Speaker 3: three weeks and now she's calling me and emailing me

1365
01:01:04,040 --> 01:01:05,240
Speaker 3: a ton of apologies.

1366
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:07,400
Speaker 1: She says that we need to talk.

1367
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:10,720
Speaker 3: I texted her that we had talked, and she responded

1368
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 3: that she couldn't believe that I could be so immature

1369
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 3: as to end this relationship over what she calls a

1370
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:20,200
Speaker 3: petty fight. I don't think I'm compatible with this woman

1371
01:01:20,240 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 3: anymore after what I saw that night. I just would

1372
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,520
Speaker 3: never behave that way while in a relationship. And I

1373
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:30,360
Speaker 3: can't marry somebody who finds that. Okay, we've been together

1374
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:32,760
Speaker 3: for two years and I'm in love with her, but

1375
01:01:32,840 --> 01:01:35,240
Speaker 3: I'm terrified that if I marry her, this is gonna

1376
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:38,360
Speaker 3: happen again. I feel like this is a red flag

1377
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 3: that I can't ignore.

1378
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,800
Speaker 1: There is an update, but boil.

1379
01:01:42,640 --> 01:01:45,840
Speaker 5: Boy, Okay, wait, what happened in their little fight again?

1380
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:47,120
Speaker 5: What basically this?

1381
01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:49,080
Speaker 1: It was because she was getting so what do you

1382
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:49,720
Speaker 1: mean like.

1383
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 5: So like he brought this up? I think I just

1384
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 5: missed that.

1385
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 3: She was like, if you're if you're not, if you're

1386
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:58,080
Speaker 3: not gonna be like accepting of like this, then you

1387
01:01:58,120 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 3: can just call off the wedding because I'm not giving

1388
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:02,600
Speaker 3: up the he's friendships, you know, or I'm not giving

1389
01:02:02,680 --> 01:02:05,080
Speaker 3: up And it's like it makes sense, because what are

1390
01:02:05,080 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 3: you just gonna like be if you were already cool

1391
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 3: with your son's husband's family.

1392
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 1: Yeah that you see?

1393
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 3: Still Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna stop doing that because

1394
01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 3: it's still like my son's family, my son's family. It's

1395
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:22,720
Speaker 3: like we're we and his dad are no longer together,

1396
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 3: but that's still his family.

1397
01:02:24,720 --> 01:02:25,320
Speaker 2: That's family.

1398
01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 3: So I'm not gonna be not cool with these people, right,

1399
01:02:29,760 --> 01:02:32,160
Speaker 3: And then he goes, well, then I guess I will

1400
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 3: call off the wedding, and she went good and then

1401
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 3: hung up.

1402
01:02:34,520 --> 01:02:36,640
Speaker 1: And it's been three weeks. I mean, I think both

1403
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 1: of you suck at communicating.

1404
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,120
Speaker 7: It kind of seems like I mean, yes, I agree

1405
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 7: with that. It does kind of seem like that is

1406
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 7: probably just what needs to happen. Like if if she

1407
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 7: doesn't see a problem with those kinds of relationships and

1408
01:02:51,520 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 7: partying with these people like that, you can't really change her.

1409
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 7: You can try to talk to her about it and

1410
01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,520
Speaker 7: express your feelings, but if she's just kind of saying like, no,

1411
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:02,760
Speaker 7: that's just what I'm going to keep doing, you can't.

1412
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 5: You can't try to.

1413
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,560
Speaker 7: Control that, and you just need to be like, Okay,

1414
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 7: well I guess I guess, Yeah, I guess you need

1415
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 7: to find someone that is okay.

1416
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 5: With that, you know.

1417
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1418
01:03:12,960 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 3: Update, I spoke to my ex once on the phone,

1419
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 3: and she stuck to her story that I had imagined

1420
01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 3: most of what happened at the party, that I was

1421
01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 3: tired and probably was seeing things that didn't really happen,

1422
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:28,440
Speaker 3: and I hung up the phone. I can't argue against that.

1423
01:03:29,040 --> 01:03:31,520
Speaker 3: I can't see myself debating her over what happened when

1424
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 3: I feel she's not even operating in reality. It's really

1425
01:03:35,240 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 3: acting frustrating to have that conversation with someone.

1426
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: Of course, a mutual.

1427
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 3: Friend of ours asked me to meet him for a drink,

1428
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,520
Speaker 3: and six of them showed up to confront me about

1429
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 3: my ft up behavior towards my ex. This time, I

1430
01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 3: told them everything, but just as I thought, they knew

1431
01:03:52,600 --> 01:03:55,200
Speaker 3: the story, but they were under the impression that I

1432
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:58,640
Speaker 3: was extremely wasted and therefore not able to see things clearly.

1433
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 3: I started out by telling them the real truth and

1434
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 3: went from there to defending myself from the wasted accusation

1435
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 3: to telling them to f off out of my life.

1436
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 3: I cussed out the guy that called me to invite

1437
01:04:12,080 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 3: me for setting this up. I was so effing mad

1438
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 3: because they all wanted to keep up this charade that

1439
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 3: he honestly invited me, just me for a drink, and

1440
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 3: the rest of them just happened to show up on

1441
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 3: an unrelated outing. They're just like my ex.

1442
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: They try to.

1443
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 3: Make you believe bs that's just so out of touch

1444
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:35,439
Speaker 3: with reality that it'll make you want to effing give

1445
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,960
Speaker 3: somebody the old one two. But then if you do,

1446
01:04:38,120 --> 01:04:40,360
Speaker 3: you're the one who looks crazy because you got violent.

1447
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:42,720
Speaker 3: It's like they drive you to the edge of insanity

1448
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:45,200
Speaker 3: with their ridiculous BS, and then they back off when

1449
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 3: they see you're about to lose it.

1450
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: I don't know how I ever got involved.

1451
01:04:48,880 --> 01:04:51,960
Speaker 3: With this cult of crazy a holes, but just as

1452
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,760
Speaker 3: I figured, she kept calling, texting, and emailing to the

1453
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,120
Speaker 3: point where my sister was worried that she might do

1454
01:04:57,160 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 3: something crazy to me.

1455
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:01,200
Speaker 1: Some days she would text me forty to fifty times.

1456
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 3: I changed my phone number, and to this day, I'm

1457
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 3: pretty sure she still doesn't have the new one. My

1458
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:09,680
Speaker 3: sister has been telling me that she sees her car

1459
01:05:09,720 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 3: pass by our house sometimes. I wasn't sure because her

1460
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 3: car is very common make and model and color, but

1461
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:19,040
Speaker 3: I wouldn't put it past her. There was one really bad,

1462
01:05:19,120 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 3: crazy out of this world scene that scared me a bit.

1463
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,680
Speaker 3: I had not been really scared that she might do

1464
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 3: something crazy but I'm not sure now. She knocked on

1465
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:30,680
Speaker 3: my door one evening, probably around seven pm, and I

1466
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 3: just ignored her. She knocked so much that I considered

1467
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 3: calling the cops, but I ignored her and the knocking stopped.

1468
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 3: My sister came home around two am and calls me

1469
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:43,720
Speaker 3: to tell me that my ex is sitting on the

1470
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 3: ground outside the front door.

1471
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:50,280
Speaker 5: What this is all wild? Who are these people?

1472
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, clearly your ex was also toxic, but.

1473
01:05:56,920 --> 01:06:02,320
Speaker 3: I think you're just completely ignoring her her not I

1474
01:06:02,320 --> 01:06:04,320
Speaker 3: don't know, it's not I guess the knocking went away.

1475
01:06:04,400 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 1: You didn't know she was just down on the front porch,

1476
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 1: So that's fair.

1477
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:09,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think it needed to be like a, Hey,

1478
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk to you.

1479
01:06:11,520 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 1: If you don't leave, i'm gonna call the police. Yeah.

1480
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:17,480
Speaker 3: I think there's a level of confrontation you need to have,

1481
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:19,200
Speaker 3: not because it's like I don't want to give her

1482
01:06:19,240 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 3: the satisfaction. It's like you're just you're prolonging this thing

1483
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 3: by like not confronting that and saying, hey, this is enough.

1484
01:06:27,480 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 3: We're not getting back together. I don't want to talk

1485
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:31,960
Speaker 3: to you. Just leave my leave right Like in.

1486
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 7: Some cases, ignoring is good, like if it's a munch

1487
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 7: of text messages or something like that. In that case,

1488
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 7: you would probably just block them. But like, yeah, wait

1489
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,920
Speaker 7: with this, like there is something to be done about it.

1490
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 7: This is just weird, all of it.

1491
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:49,280
Speaker 3: My sister backed out of the driveway and drove off

1492
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:52,280
Speaker 3: and called me from down the block. I went outside

1493
01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 3: and my ex started crying and telling me how sorry

1494
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 3: she was about everything she had done. When I told

1495
01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:00,360
Speaker 3: her to go home, she wrapped her arms around my

1496
01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 3: legs really tight while kneeling and said she wasn't going

1497
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:06,640
Speaker 3: to leave until I forgave her and promised the wedding

1498
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:10,200
Speaker 3: would be back on. I couldn't get her off of me,

1499
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:12,400
Speaker 3: so I warned her that she had to go or

1500
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:15,520
Speaker 3: I would call the police, and she ignored my please.

1501
01:07:15,840 --> 01:07:17,200
Speaker 1: So I called the cops.

1502
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 3: This was the most embarrassing thing I've ever been through.

1503
01:07:20,680 --> 01:07:22,840
Speaker 3: The first cop that showed up was this really tough

1504
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:26,320
Speaker 3: looking lady with a flat top haircut. As she approached us,

1505
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:27,960
Speaker 3: she had a what the f look.

1506
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 1: On her face. I could tell she was like, am

1507
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:30,840
Speaker 1: I effing seeing this?

1508
01:07:30,960 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 2: Right?

1509
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:34,600
Speaker 3: I see this cop a lot around town. Now it's embarrassing.

1510
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,080
Speaker 3: All the cop had to do was say, ma'am, you're

1511
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,160
Speaker 3: gonna have to let go of his legs, and my

1512
01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 3: ex complied immediately. She took her to the patrol car

1513
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:45,640
Speaker 3: and told me she'd be right back. After putting her

1514
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 3: in the back of the patrol car, she came back

1515
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,919
Speaker 3: and just said, Okay, I imagine there's history between you two,

1516
01:07:50,960 --> 01:07:53,160
Speaker 3: so tell me how we got here. I told her

1517
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:54,840
Speaker 3: the story, and she told me that if I didn't

1518
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 3: press charges, it would be impossible to get a restraining order.

1519
01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: She said that she's never seen a jilted lover man

1520
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:04,320
Speaker 3: or woman behave the way my ex has been behaving

1521
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 3: without it ending up with someone getting gravely injured. I

1522
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:09,760
Speaker 3: felt like crap and didn't want to give her a

1523
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:13,440
Speaker 3: criminal record, but I did it. But she said, quote,

1524
01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:16,920
Speaker 3: we're also talking about keeping your sister safe. Don't underestimate

1525
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 3: your ex. Before the cops left my house, one of

1526
01:08:20,000 --> 01:08:23,000
Speaker 3: them told me that when they interviewed my sister, they asked,

1527
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,160
Speaker 3: point blank, why did you back out of the driveway

1528
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:28,720
Speaker 3: when you saw her, and my sister apparently said quote, because.

1529
01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: I feared for my life. I don't know. I feel

1530
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:33,280
Speaker 1: like I.

1531
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 3: Guess she seems pretty unhinged. I think I think sister,

1532
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 3: being like I was afraid for my life was maybe

1533
01:08:43,439 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 3: a little extra, to be honest, But like standing outside

1534
01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 3: someone's door for five hours until it's two in the morning.

1535
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:53,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, also no, even longer than that.

1536
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:59,400
Speaker 3: Seven hours also pretty also pretty intense.

1537
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:02,400
Speaker 1: Let's finish this story.

1538
01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,200
Speaker 3: I don't know what's happening to her legally, but at

1539
01:09:05,200 --> 01:09:07,800
Speaker 3: the restaurant where I met those guys for a drink,

1540
01:09:08,360 --> 01:09:11,280
Speaker 3: they told me that her son is living with her mother.

1541
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:14,640
Speaker 3: They implied that I got her in trouble, so her

1542
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,479
Speaker 3: son is with his grandma now. But I don't see

1543
01:09:17,520 --> 01:09:19,800
Speaker 3: how that would happen so quickly, Seeing is how we

1544
01:09:19,840 --> 01:09:22,439
Speaker 3: don't have a court date until later this month. I

1545
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:25,080
Speaker 3: think she just dumped him there. I don't know anymore,

1546
01:09:25,560 --> 01:09:28,879
Speaker 3: nor do I care. There have been other unreal incidents

1547
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:32,000
Speaker 3: where I was confronted by my ex, but I don't

1548
01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,640
Speaker 3: want to write a whole novel at itIt not that

1549
01:09:34,720 --> 01:09:36,960
Speaker 3: it matters, But just for the record, it was a

1550
01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:38,800
Speaker 3: male friend who asked me to meet him for a drink,

1551
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,640
Speaker 3: and it was five females that showed up later for

1552
01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:43,000
Speaker 3: the quote unquote intervention.

1553
01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:45,280
Speaker 1: He just sat there and watched the whole time.

1554
01:09:45,479 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 3: It looked like they just used him to get me there,

1555
01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:50,439
Speaker 3: and that is the end of that story.

1556
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:51,400
Speaker 5: Interesting.

1557
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:58,920
Speaker 7: Yeah, just a weird situational around yeah yeah, yeah yeah