1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,199 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime podcast host, and we got some great stories 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,920 Speaker 1: coming up. Before that, we have a quick two minute 4 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: break from the sponsors that keep the show a lot. 5 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,280 Speaker 2: I thought my boyfriend was perfect until a doctor proved 6 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,720 Speaker 2: he was cheating on me. 7 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,800 Speaker 3: No, we can't all be perfect. 8 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 2: I met my ex boyfriend in February of this past year, 9 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 2: and we hit it off immediately. He got me flowers 10 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,280 Speaker 2: on our first date. We went to a big concert together, 11 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: he cooked me dinner, and we even had our first 12 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,160 Speaker 2: kiss on a private beach like a Diddy Dang rom com. 13 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 2: The only issue was that I had plans to move 14 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 2: out of state in the middle of the summer and 15 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 2: I didn't really want to jump into a relationship. 16 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user. 17 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that. 18 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, Esa 19 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 4: not really. The username comes from. 20 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,959 Speaker 2: User scared Letterhead eighty ninety four and if you want 21 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,959 Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, bunch just sneeze on. 22 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 4: Over to the r slash Okay story Time severed it. 23 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Keon, and we don't know everything yet. 24 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: We're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't 25 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,480 Speaker 2: have all the answers. Well, you know what we would do, 26 00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 2: so if you do something else, let us know in 27 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 2: the comments, and Opie says. Knowing this, my ex came 28 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 2: over one night at midnight with a box of chocolates 29 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 2: to ask me to be his girlfriend. 30 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,120 Speaker 4: My initial thought was no. 31 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 2: He knew I was moving, and even though I liked him, 32 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 2: I told him that I didn't want to move so 33 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 2: far and do long distance. When I said that, he 34 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 2: started crying, and I really did like him. 35 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 4: So I said yes. 36 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,960 Speaker 2: Two weeks later, he told me he loved me after 37 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 2: we finished having spice to sleep. 38 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 3: Oh that's a red flag. Usually it's a red flag. 39 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 5: Sorry. 40 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, apparently he had said it a week prior. 41 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 2: We were at a rooftop showing of La La Land 42 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 2: in the city, but I just didn't hear it. 43 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 3: Oh boy, this this guy, this guy's are a romantic. 44 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 4: He's the love bomber. Watch out, it's the love bomber. 45 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 2: I had never been in a relationship before, so all 46 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: of this was so exciting. I truly grew to love 47 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,279 Speaker 2: him a law and became excited about a potential future 48 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 2: with him. He would always talk about me as if 49 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 2: I was his dream girl, and eventually planned a surprise 50 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 2: bonfire date on a beach to ask me if I 51 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: wanted to do long distance with him. I said, yes, 52 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 2: I will be our long distance girlf I'm very happy. 53 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 2: As I began meeting his friends, he started talking about 54 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,079 Speaker 2: one of his coworkers, twenty one female a lot. Apparently 55 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 2: this girl was bipolar and had BPD and hadn't been 56 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 2: taking her med, so her roommate was evicting her and 57 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 2: was venting about it. To my ex. 58 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 4: I tried to justify. 59 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 2: It because he also had BPD and could have good insight, 60 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: and we had expressed how we were okay with the other. 61 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 4: Having friends of the opposite agenda. 62 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 2: She would call him while she knew we were hanging out, 63 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 2: was checking his location, and he even went over to 64 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 2: her house to bring her breakfast. 65 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 4: It was all starting to make me very uncomfortable. 66 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, because he's gonna be like, oh, my bipolar, my 67 00:02:59,160 --> 00:02:59,919 Speaker 2: borderline person. 68 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,239 Speaker 4: He des sort of queen that I love you, babe, 69 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 4: we share BPD. 70 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 3: That I had made her BPD bacon pancakes and Danish. 71 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 2: We both had BPD, so I gave her my PbD, 72 00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 2: bacon pancake Danish. At one point I even got roped 73 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: into driving her home from therapy. I nervously expressed this 74 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,919 Speaker 2: to him, and he agreed he needs to set boundaries 75 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: with her. I stopped hearing about her entirely. I would 76 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 2: still see her name pop up on his phone, but 77 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,280 Speaker 2: he never talked about her. At one point, I asked 78 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: how she was, since I hadn't heard her anything in 79 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 2: a while, and he got very defensive, saying. 80 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 4: Why are you asking? Uh, why are you asking? 81 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 3: We're living in Lola Land right now, and uh, it's 82 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 3: not gonna. 83 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 6: Be called sebs. 84 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 4: Check it on a stick. Flash forward to June. 85 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 2: I thought I had a UTI, so I went to 86 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 2: the doctor to get checked out. When I got my 87 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 2: results back, they told me I contracted a spice silly 88 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 2: related disease that could only come from someone who hadn't 89 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 2: been honest. My heart sank into the floor. The only 90 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 2: person I had ever had spash asleep with was my axe, 91 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 2: and we had been dating for months, so where the 92 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,600 Speaker 2: heck would I have gotten it? I called him and 93 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 2: asked when the last time he had spash's sleep with 94 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 2: someone who wasn't me was, and he said January. I 95 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: hung up and went to work and spent my whole 96 00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,160 Speaker 2: shift crying. I asked him to come over that night, 97 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 2: and I sobbed in his car, saying things like I 98 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 2: love you, and I want so badly to believe you, 99 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 2: but it just doesn't add up. He kept swearing that 100 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: he never did anything shady, and I didn't want to 101 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 2: lose him, so I chose to believe him. A couple 102 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 2: of weeks later, we went on a road trip up 103 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 2: north to meet some of my high school friends and 104 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,359 Speaker 2: move my things up to my parents' house before my 105 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 2: new lease started. 106 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:38,960 Speaker 4: On the last day of. 107 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 2: This trip, also the last day before long distance, we 108 00:04:41,839 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 2: were sitting in the bath together in a hotel and 109 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 2: I burst into tears. I told him how I didn't 110 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 2: want to be so far from him, and how much 111 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,480 Speaker 2: I loved him, and how scared I was for the future. 112 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 4: It was worse the next day. 113 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,279 Speaker 2: At the bus stop and we said goodbye, we both cried, 114 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 2: and he gave me his blanket to hang on to. 115 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:59,600 Speaker 2: He hugged me like it was the last time he'd 116 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,560 Speaker 2: ever see. We kissed goodbye, and I drove to my parents' 117 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 2: house in shambles. 118 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,160 Speaker 3: He gave he was blanky. 119 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 2: This guy's crying from a maybe attack of guilt, a 120 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 2: guilt attack. 121 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 4: And you're crying because you'll actually like him. 122 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 2: And he's like, man, ooh, maybe I do feel a 123 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:21,240 Speaker 2: little bad that I'm gonna immediately and already have cheated 124 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 2: on this girl. 125 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 3: This guy's not the main character. This guy's not the hero. 126 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 6: He's a villain. 127 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 4: He's the villain now. 128 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,280 Speaker 2: Two days after this, he drove to Las Vegas for 129 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 2: his coworker's twenty first birthday. 130 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 3: Usually, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless if 131 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 3: it's uh a spicy transmitted see. 132 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 2: The Little Spicy Germs Colin Oloviya BPD. 133 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 6: Yikes. 134 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,800 Speaker 2: I was told that all of these friends of hers 135 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,920 Speaker 2: were going and that it was the first big group thing. 136 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,839 Speaker 2: I didn't go because I was still twenty and couldn't 137 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 2: do any of the things they were going to do. 138 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 2: I felt very uneasy about this, but chose to trust 139 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 2: my ex. He barely spoke to me the whole time. 140 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,839 Speaker 2: I tried to call him while he was getting ready 141 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 2: to go out or just get updates on what he 142 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 2: was doing, especially since we had just had an emotional 143 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 2: few days but he was either busy. 144 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,280 Speaker 4: Or didn't want to talk on the phone. I expressed 145 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:17,960 Speaker 4: this was hurtful, and he apologized. After he got home. 146 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 2: My sister sent me a screenshot of his coworker's Instagram 147 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 2: post from her birthday trip. 148 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 4: I didn't follow her, but there were photos of. 149 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 2: Them cuddled up at a restaurant and a collage of 150 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 2: pictures of just them together on her story. 151 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 4: No sign of anyone else rough Row. 152 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,200 Speaker 2: Well, oh p, at least you got to learn what 153 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 2: a lying, manipulating love bomber is. 154 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 3: He's gonna be like Vegas just does that to people, Babe, 155 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 3: what happens to Vegas? 156 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 4: Go who's on the gram? 157 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,360 Speaker 2: I called him and asked what the heck was going on, 158 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 2: and he argued with me for the first time ever, 159 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 2: saying the photos looked platonic and that he thinks I 160 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 2: was just upset because of a gen're biased since he's Pan. 161 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 2: I felt like I was talking to a wall. I 162 00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 2: told him that if it were one of his other friends, 163 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be as upset, but he knew that the 164 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 2: girl made me feel uncomfortable, and he went into this anyway. 165 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 2: The next week was filled with messages being delivered for 166 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 2: hours his location, getting randomly turned off and avoiding phone calls. 167 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,280 Speaker 4: The next Sunday, he broke up with me. I was 168 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 4: so crushed. 169 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 2: I knew that his BPD was acting up again and 170 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 2: that he had started new meds that were messing with him, 171 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: but I was so confused how the person who had 172 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,080 Speaker 2: shown me so much love could drop me like that. 173 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 2: We talked again a week later, and he berated me, 174 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 2: saying that I didn't care about him or his mental health, 175 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,400 Speaker 2: and that he couldn't be around someone like that. Mind you, 176 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 2: I was checking in on him daily, asking his friends. 177 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 2: I was doing and researching his medication and. 178 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 4: Its side effects. 179 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 2: The day before I actually puked because I was so worried. 180 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 2: And you can just let this guy go. 181 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 3: No, it's very hard for Ope, because this is Opie's 182 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 3: like first real relationship. They're doing long distance. It's a 183 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 3: so much harder than it is. 184 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 2: I know it's not easy, but I'm telling you right 185 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 2: now that you can just let this guy go and 186 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 2: continue to date and find other people, because he was 187 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 2: not the end all, be all of your life. 188 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 4: I promise you was know all. A month later, we 189 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 4: randomly talked again and he told me that someone like 190 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 4: me doesn't deserve someone who did the things that he did, 191 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 4: like cheat on you and give you an STD. 192 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 3: Oh, he's guilting himsel that I don't deserve to be 193 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 3: put through his behavior, that he misses me every day, 194 00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 3: admires my ambition, and that he hasn't thrown out any 195 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: of our things. 196 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 2: I was a mask, asking him things like if you 197 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 2: know my worth so well, why couldn't it have been you. 198 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 2: He ended the conversation by telling me that he needed 199 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 2: me to not be alone for the night, that he 200 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 2: would text my sister if he had to. A couple 201 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 2: of weeks later, him and his coworker's relationship became public, 202 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 2: and they are still publicly dating to this day. I've 203 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 2: been dating and hooking up with other people since then. 204 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 2: Today is the three month anniversary of us breaking up. 205 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 2: But whenever I have a day to myself, I can't 206 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:02,320 Speaker 2: help but sit in what happened? Hey? 207 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 3: This guy, this guy sucks. Come on, op, put the 208 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 3: pieces together. 209 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,120 Speaker 4: He's the flip flop. He's the flip flopper. 210 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 6: RONI. 211 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 4: He's like bad, How could you do this to me? 212 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 4: I can't put I mean, you never cared, that's all. 213 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 7: You don't deserve to be put through, but I put 214 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 7: you through. 215 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 6: I still have. 216 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 4: All of your things, and I think you're incredible. 217 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 3: That's definitely the BPD with how he's handling things. But 218 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 3: he's also manipulating you, or he did manipulate you, so 219 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,160 Speaker 3: I'm happy you didn't. One, you were already long distance. 220 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 3: That made it probably a lot of a lot easier 221 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 3: for you to just move on. But two, you come on. 222 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 3: You got a good head on your shoulders. I feel 223 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,960 Speaker 3: like if you put two and two together, it makes 224 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 3: a lot of sense. 225 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's only been three months. Like you'll, you know, 226 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 2: you broke up three months ago. You're out there, you're 227 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 2: doing stuff. You'll get through this. 228 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 4: Here's my advice. 229 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 3: When he hits you up, because he probably will sooner 230 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 3: or later he does it, I don't give him the 231 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 3: light of day. 232 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 4: He don't deserve it. 233 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 3: He don't deserve you. 234 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 4: Just through on yourself. This is just a learning experience. 235 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,959 Speaker 4: This is your first real relationship. It's okay. 236 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 3: I'm not saying all fours real relationships should be like 237 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 3: this or going to be like this. Sometimes they just 238 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 3: they're the one, but this. 239 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 4: Guy was never the one. 240 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:18,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, right that this person I loved so much was 241 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 2: willing to hurt me so badly. 242 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 4: It's not just a bad dream. 243 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 2: Everyone who knows me knows I cared about him more 244 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 2: than myself, which I know isn't healthy bingo, But I 245 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 2: don't know how I'm supposed to trust anyone ever. 246 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 4: Again, if you've gone through something similar, how did you cope? 247 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 2: And there are some comments, Wow, what you've been through 248 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,319 Speaker 2: is like a Netflix limited series. Being in a long 249 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 2: distance relationship myself with my significant other for like four 250 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 2: years is tough and I appreciate her more. 251 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 4: Because of what we've been through. 252 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 2: I dragged her into it, but she took the leap 253 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 2: of faith with me and we are now together happy. Honestly, 254 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: your ex is a piece of work and doesn't deserve you. 255 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:04,320 Speaker 2: He literally speed ran the whole dream guide to Walking 256 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 2: Red Flag Transformation. My advice is to bury this post 257 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 2: and bury his memory for your future significant other. Reminder, 258 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 2: not everyone is like him. There are billions of people 259 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,440 Speaker 2: on this planet and not everyone is him, So start 260 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 2: from there and that is the end of that story. 261 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 2: And I do think you should probably just block this guy. 262 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,079 Speaker 4: Yeah, don't you? 263 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 3: Did you know? Block all socials. Don't worry about him again. 264 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 3: You're away from him, seems like you're doing alright. Move 265 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,880 Speaker 3: on with your life. He don't need you, you don't 266 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 3: need him. You'll be all right. You're young, You'll sure. 267 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 3: It's a learning situation and it sucks, but you'll know 268 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 3: from here on out not to deal with someone like this, 269 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:51,239 Speaker 3: and keep an eye out for that and don't get manipulated. 270 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story. 271 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 6: My boyfriend cheated with our roommate. Now he can't afford 272 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 6: rent two pads, so said I, forty two female, have 273 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 6: been with my boyfriend thirty three male for four years 274 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,920 Speaker 6: and we've lived together for two years. Our lease is 275 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 6: up in a week and a half and I've made 276 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:13,320 Speaker 6: the decision to move out after i found out that 277 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 6: he cheated on me with his best friend. By the way, 278 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,320 Speaker 6: this comes from Shonda eighty two, And if you want 279 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,520 Speaker 6: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 280 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 6: Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly, I'm anjie, and we're here 281 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 6: to give good advice. Goofiley, But we don't have all 282 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 6: the answers. We only know what we would do, So 283 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 6: let us know what you would do in the comments 284 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 6: and OPI says for context, his best friend Tina thirty 285 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 6: four female, and he were roommates before he and I 286 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 6: got together and before we all decided to move in together. 287 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 6: He and I were just friends for eight years prior 288 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 6: to committing. During our friendship, anytime she would call and 289 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 6: need him, he would drop whatever he was doing to 290 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 6: make sure she was all right. I'll admit Tina's not 291 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 6: the brightest and at thirty four, doesn't really know how 292 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 6: to be adult. She fixes everything with two or three 293 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,680 Speaker 6: different guys a week, which is made easy because of 294 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 6: her profession. I'm not shaming her, just stating facts. Over 295 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 6: the years, I had some doubts about the relationship, but 296 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 6: he always reassured me that they were just friends and 297 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 6: I trusted him. Two months ago, I found out the truth. 298 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 6: His behavior has been changing. He was distant, secretive, and 299 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 6: I could just feel something was off. Yes, I went 300 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 6: through his phone at around three am and saw the exchanges. 301 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 6: I confronted him, and after some hesitation, he admitted he 302 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:42,480 Speaker 6: slept with Tina Stinky. He said it was a one 303 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,359 Speaker 6: time mistake that he regretted and begging for my forgiveness, 304 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 6: claiming it didn't mean anything the text said otherwise, especially 305 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 6: since they were messages from the previous day. He really 306 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 6: wanted me to stay and work things out, but I can't. 307 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:03,600 Speaker 6: I feel betrayed, stupid, and humiliated. I'm also angry because 308 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,720 Speaker 6: he didn't just cheat. He cheated with someone who lived 309 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 6: in our home, shared meals with me, had heart to 310 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 6: hearts with me, and acted like a friend. They would 311 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 6: reassure me about my insecurities regarding their closeness. It's always 312 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,080 Speaker 6: the ones that they tell you not to worry about. 313 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 6: I've already decided I'm done. I've signed a lease for 314 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 6: a new apartment, arranged movers, and planned to leave next week. 315 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 6: I haven't told him yet, and I don't plan to 316 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,920 Speaker 6: until I'm gone. Since he goes to work before me. 317 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 6: My plan is to pack and move all my things 318 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 6: while he's at work. I'll leave a letter explaining my decision. 319 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 6: This is where I may be the ahole. I know 320 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 6: he can't afford this place or a new one without me. 321 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 6: He's financially struggling, and without me, he's going to have 322 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:51,960 Speaker 6: a hard time finding somewhere else to live. But I'm 323 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 6: not responsible for fixing his situation. Especially after the betrayal. 324 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,240 Speaker 6: Some friends think I'm justified in not telling him, saying 325 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 6: that he made his choices and now he has to 326 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 6: face the consequences. My sister, however, thinks I'm being cruel 327 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 6: by not at least giving him a heads up so 328 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 6: he can make arrangements. I don't feel like he deserves 329 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 6: my sympathy. He can have my middle finger, though. Oh yeah, 330 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 6: Tina doesn't live here anymore either. So am I the 331 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 6: a hole for moving out without telling my cheating boyfriend 332 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 6: knowing he can't afford this place or a new one 333 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 6: on his own? And we have an update? But what 334 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 6: do you think? 335 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 8: I don't think so. 336 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 2: I think so. 337 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 6: I think so I could maybe get behind like sure, 338 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 6: you could give him a heads up, but like ultimately 339 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 6: that wasn't going to change the fact that he can't 340 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 6: afford it or a different place. 341 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 9: Yeah, that's a great point, Like I could understand their 342 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:49,320 Speaker 9: perspective of just being just like considerate or whatever, and just. 343 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 6: Like did he really consider you? Yeah? 344 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 9: It was, Like I don't think I don't think it's 345 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:57,400 Speaker 9: a too much of an a whole move to like 346 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 9: stop you from doing it. Like I usually don't go 347 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 9: for the petty things usually don't go for like revenge 348 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 9: or whatever. But like, yeah, it's just kind of you know, 349 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 9: you don't heads up is a considerate thing to do, 350 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 9: and you don't deserve that from me at all. 351 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 8: Right, you don't deserve my consideration. 352 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 6: Yeah, I would agree, but we have an update as planned. 353 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 6: I moved out. It was incredibly hard, but I knew 354 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 6: it was the right decision for me, because jail is 355 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 6: not something I want to do again. Okay, the leasing 356 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,520 Speaker 6: office contacted him, so he found out that I was moving. 357 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 6: He then decided that he wanted to talk. I did 358 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,640 Speaker 6: sit down and talk to him because I wanted to 359 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 6: see his reaction, specifically his shocked expression. I needed to 360 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 6: see that he understood the gravity of what he had done. 361 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 6: I said, you want to talk. Now, where was this 362 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 6: when you were deep in that witch, when you guys 363 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 6: were smiling in my face like nothing happened. When I 364 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 6: voiced my concern and you both reassured me there was nothing. 365 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:00,880 Speaker 6: When you would talk crap about all the different dudes 366 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 6: she would bring home, when you would text her late 367 00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 6: at night in the living room trying to get some more, 368 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 6: I continued, don't act like you're sorry, and don't try 369 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,199 Speaker 6: any guilt tripping because this is all on you. I 370 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 6: also told him he was a piece of crap for 371 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,959 Speaker 6: undermining me and our relationship by telling her that he 372 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 6: didn't mind things she did that made me uncomfortable, like 373 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,280 Speaker 6: wearing only a T shirt and panties, coming out to 374 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 6: talk in just a towel, or having him critique the 375 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 6: nuts she would sell to men. Then I hit him 376 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 6: with a couple of things he didn't know I knew. 377 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 6: I said, why the f would you lie and say 378 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 6: it's cool that we had an agreement where we just 379 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 6: had to let the other person know, and that you 380 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:42,479 Speaker 6: were going to tell me. Also, you said you guys 381 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 6: just did some spicy acts. We both know that's a lie. 382 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 6: I continued, not only did you ef her, but you 383 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 6: continued to pursue her, And now I know sometimes you 384 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,200 Speaker 6: would do it while I was in that room. Ehwah, 385 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 6: that's disgusting. Ewa, Yeah, this man not deserve notice, no, 386 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 6: he deserves way worse. What is his Now I know 387 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 6: why you'd always comment on men not being able to 388 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 6: make her finish after she made that statement. It was 389 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 6: because that night she told you that you were the 390 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 6: only man and the best man. And to think you 391 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,119 Speaker 6: kissed me the next day and told me you loved me. 392 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 6: What a lying a hole? Tell me why and make 393 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 6: it good, because no matter what you say, I'm done 394 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 6: and shocked he was. He was quiet, almost stunned, and 395 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 6: he finally said, I don't know what to say. I 396 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 6: messed up big time. He said. He took full responsibility 397 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,360 Speaker 6: for what he did and that there was no excuse. 398 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,159 Speaker 6: He said we weren't really talking and that he was 399 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 6: searching for something to ease his mind, and she provided 400 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 6: that something. I said, So you're telling me that, instead 401 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,199 Speaker 6: of being the grown man you pretend to be and 402 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 6: telling me how you feel, you decided to let your 403 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,280 Speaker 6: wiener do the talking. The look on his face was 404 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 6: priceless and confirmed that he finally understood the consequences of 405 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,160 Speaker 6: his actions. I was honest about my feelings of betrayal, disgust, 406 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 6: and anger. I made it clear that I wouldn't be 407 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 6: contacting him, and that I that he needed to figure 408 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 6: out his living situation on his own. I said, Tina 409 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,080 Speaker 6: might have a room for you. You should call her. Well, 410 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 6: there you go, he said, I cut her off after 411 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 6: she moved out because I thought we could work things out. 412 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 8: This man is so dam I laughed. 413 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,359 Speaker 6: She said, well you thought wrong, buddy, and got up 414 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,720 Speaker 6: to finish packing my things. 415 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 8: Jeez, dude, this man is so stupid. 416 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 6: Stupid, stupid, mass stupid. One crucial detail I forgot to 417 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,359 Speaker 6: mention in my original post was that I spoke with 418 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,439 Speaker 6: my landlord before moving. I explained the situation, including the 419 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,800 Speaker 6: cheating and the reason for my sudden departure. Because we 420 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 6: were so close to the end of the lease and 421 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,440 Speaker 6: she understood the circumstances, she agreed to release me from 422 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 6: further obligations. This was a huge relief and allowed me 423 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 6: to leave without the added stress of financial repercussions from 424 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,520 Speaker 6: the apartment. I did leave a copy of the new 425 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 6: agreement with the X. Now I'm in my new place, 426 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 6: I was out walking my dog when the universe decided 427 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 6: to throw me a curveball. Shockingly, I ran into Tina 428 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:16,120 Speaker 6: at my new apartment buildings. Stop it is Tina living there. 429 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 8: Now, there's no way. 430 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,399 Speaker 6: Turns out she lives there as well. 431 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:19,880 Speaker 10: Yah. 432 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 6: I guess karma has a twisted sense of humor. I 433 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,960 Speaker 6: just smiled and started to walk away, but curiosity got 434 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 6: the best of me, and I turned around and asked 435 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,480 Speaker 6: her to talk. Boy did she talk who I started with. 436 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 6: Now that the situation is over, tell me what really happened, okay, 437 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 6: she said. She was crying on the couch. He started 438 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,679 Speaker 6: a rubber leg. He tried to maybe initiate some other things. 439 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 6: She said. She told him he shouldn't because of me, 440 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 6: and that's when he told her the lie about us 441 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,199 Speaker 6: just having to tell each other. She said, it happened 442 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:55,000 Speaker 6: so fast, but she knows that it was a full, 443 00:20:55,880 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 6: spicy sleep act, not just some other things. She threw 444 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 6: me for a loop and pissed me off by saying, 445 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 6: and I quote, I used to purposely walk around half 446 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 6: clothed to get his attention and entice him. 447 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 7: Bro. 448 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,159 Speaker 9: I mean, I guess thanks for being honest, but like, 449 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 9: why are you admitting to all of this right now? 450 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 6: She said, especially after you stated that you didn't like 451 00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 6: when I walked around like that, And then he came 452 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,440 Speaker 6: to me and said he doesn't mind, and that he 453 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 6: likes it. I figured if he didn't care, why should I. 454 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 6: She said, he would set up movie nights for them 455 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 6: to cuddle on the couch while I was at work. 456 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 6: I saw red and it took everything in me not 457 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 6: to one tour in the face for the blatant disregard 458 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:43,120 Speaker 6: and disrespect. Yeah. I gathered my composure and said, if 459 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 6: you wanted his wieneror so bad, why didn't do you 460 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 6: do all this before I was in the picture. She 461 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 6: said she didn't see him like that until she started 462 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,360 Speaker 6: to see me changing him. 463 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,160 Speaker 8: Oh my god. 464 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 6: By that she meant, I stopped him from dropping everything 465 00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,720 Speaker 6: and running to her, aid, I mean, she has so 466 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 6: many men to choose from, eh, and I didn't think 467 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 6: that he needed to be the one to be running 468 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,679 Speaker 6: to her side. I said, it wasn't enough for you 469 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 6: to have a community to run to. You had to 470 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,840 Speaker 6: run to what I now know was an already passing 471 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 6: away relationship. I asked her when was the last time 472 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 6: they spoke, and she said, we talk every day, and 473 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 6: he's been over here a few times. She said, nothing 474 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,800 Speaker 6: spicy related happens, and he talks about how he messed 475 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,360 Speaker 6: up and how he wishes he could have been different. 476 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 6: Sounds like BS to me. I said I didn't care 477 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,359 Speaker 6: and that I was done talking, and to act like 478 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 6: she didn't know me. If she saw me, he tried 479 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 6: calling and texting incessantly because Tina told him that I 480 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 6: lived in the same complex, but I blocked his number 481 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,399 Speaker 6: and muted all his notifications and I haven't looked back. 482 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:50,160 Speaker 6: He also tried to contact my friend, who told him 483 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:53,400 Speaker 6: in no uncertain terms to leave me the f alone. 484 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,240 Speaker 6: Tina has also been trying to reach out through mutual friends. 485 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,119 Speaker 6: I have told them all that I want nothing to 486 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,360 Speaker 6: do with either of them. I'm done with the drama 487 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 6: and the lies. Apparently he's scrambling to find a new 488 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 6: place and is very stressed for his predicament. Honestly, I 489 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:08,160 Speaker 6: don't care. 490 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 5: Uh. 491 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 6: He made his choices and now he has to deal 492 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,280 Speaker 6: with the consequences. I've been going to therapy and it's 493 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 6: been incredibly helpful in processing my emotions and building my 494 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 6: self esteem. I'm focusing on myself now and I'm determined 495 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 6: to move forward and create a happy, fulfilling life. And 496 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,440 Speaker 6: that is the end of that story. 497 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 8: Yay for therapy. 498 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 6: Good job, op knew you didn't deserve that and you got. 499 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,800 Speaker 11: The heck out of there. 500 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 6: You sure did. That's great. 501 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,880 Speaker 9: Yeah, that is so insane to like, because Okay, I 502 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 9: understand wanting to ask like you're the fair partner pretty 503 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 9: much like, yeah, well you know what happened. But it's 504 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 9: crazy that she went into that much detail and about 505 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 9: what she did wrong. It's like, Okay, I was kind 506 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,439 Speaker 9: of wanted just to know, like just to you know, 507 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 9: make sure I didn't get the wrong idea or anything 508 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 9: like that. He just made it so much worse, Like 509 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,679 Speaker 9: I don't know, that's just so insane to me, Like 510 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 9: I feel like she would at least. 511 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 8: Try to save herself a little bit instead of. 512 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 9: Being like, yeah, I actually did this because I right, 513 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 9: it's like, Casey, you're just a terrible person. Yeah, you're 514 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:22,120 Speaker 9: like literally asking to be like yelled at right now, 515 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:23,480 Speaker 9: Like it's so what you want. 516 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 8: It's crazy. It's crazy. 517 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,479 Speaker 9: And that's the end of this story. We're going on 518 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:32,840 Speaker 9: to the next one. I discovered my fiance's secret family 519 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 9: after I moved States for him. 520 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 6: You are you guys neighbors now? 521 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,639 Speaker 9: I met my fiance when we dated as kids in 522 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 9: middle school. We reconnected about two years ago after living 523 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,879 Speaker 9: life separately and meshed so well that we decided to 524 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:46,720 Speaker 9: just take the jump. 525 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 8: His family lives in Texas. 526 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 9: We originally lived in Minnesota, and his mother wasn't doing well, 527 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,719 Speaker 9: so we moved down here to be close. My fiance 528 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,639 Speaker 9: bought a two bedroom house about a year ago when 529 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 9: you first learned of his mother's condition. 530 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:57,920 Speaker 8: And by the. 531 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 9: Way, this comes from a throwaway two five five three 532 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,280 Speaker 9: seven five and you and some of your own stories 533 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,320 Speaker 9: go to the hour slash okay, storytime, separate it and 534 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:06,480 Speaker 9: I'm Angie. 535 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,679 Speaker 8: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily. 536 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,320 Speaker 9: But we don't have all the answers. We just know 537 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,080 Speaker 9: what we would do in the situation. So let us 538 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,119 Speaker 9: know what you would do in the comments. So oh 539 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 9: p sets. At first, after we realized we wanted things 540 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 9: long term, he would fly back and forth every couple 541 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,440 Speaker 9: of weeks until I asked him to just. 542 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,240 Speaker 8: Stay with me. He had no intention of moving back 543 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:26,399 Speaker 8: to Minnesota. 544 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 6: And it was kind of a you move here or 545 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 6: we do. 546 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,560 Speaker 9: Long distance situation. He didn't explicitly tell me that, but 547 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 9: that's just what I gathered from our circumstances. After some 548 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 9: time thinking, I quit my job and moved to be 549 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,360 Speaker 9: with him. I've been here officially for forty days. Last week, 550 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,159 Speaker 9: while looking for something in the garage, I found a 551 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 9: pair of baby size to Nike shoes. I asked him 552 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,400 Speaker 9: who they belonged to, and he said he had no idea. 553 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,879 Speaker 9: I thought nothing of it at the time and just 554 00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:54,199 Speaker 9: tossed them. Two days ago, when going through the hamper 555 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 9: to do our laundry, I found a small pink, bluey 556 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 9: T shirt, probably the size of a five or six 557 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,480 Speaker 9: year old. I immediately remembered the shoes, and my mind 558 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,359 Speaker 9: started to race. What that's a crazy way to find 559 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:06,960 Speaker 9: this out. 560 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 6: I'm glad we got curious after the second article of clothing, 561 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 6: but why didn't we look into the shoes more. 562 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 9: That's like scary for just if truly nothing's going on 563 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 9: and there's just a random baby shoes in your house, 564 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,639 Speaker 9: like he's a kid, or this house is haunted some 565 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,960 Speaker 9: kind of crazy ghost. I'll admit I assumed the worst 566 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 9: and that he was hiding a kid from me, and 567 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,200 Speaker 9: I blew up a bit. I accused him of lying 568 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 9: to me and started getting emotional. An argument ensued after 569 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:38,639 Speaker 9: I didn't believe him when he swore he had no 570 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 9: idea where these things came from. He's an only child, 571 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 9: so there's no nieces or nephews. The only family he 572 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,919 Speaker 9: really talks to here is his parents. He offered no 573 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 9: explanation other than simply insisting. 574 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,800 Speaker 8: He had no idea. 575 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 9: I pretty much shut down after realizing we were getting nowhere, 576 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 9: and have spoken maybe ten words to him. Since he 577 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 9: isn't pushing me to talk either, it feels like I'm 578 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,720 Speaker 9: just here, existing in the same space. Since yesterday, I've 579 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 9: just been filled with despair and regret about moving here, 580 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,200 Speaker 9: and I'm not even sure if I should be feeling 581 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,879 Speaker 9: this way. The thought of apologizing for my blow up 582 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 9: and trying to rectify things when he might be secretly 583 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 9: lying to me about something like this just makes my 584 00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 9: stomach churn. I don't hope or even want to believe 585 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 9: that that's the case. He's never given me any reason 586 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:23,160 Speaker 9: to feel like this before, but it just doesn't make 587 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 9: any sense to me. And there are some comments, But 588 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,880 Speaker 9: what are your comments so far? 589 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 6: I like that she was like and I didn't really 590 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 6: think he was hiding a kid from me. Yeah, No, 591 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 6: he's hiding an entire family from you. Yeah, I mean, 592 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:40,920 Speaker 6: I mean it's hardly what I would say. 593 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 9: They have the title to like, that's that a hint, 594 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 9: But like I would immediately. 595 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 6: Still be like, why is there a baby? Shoes and 596 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:50,680 Speaker 6: T shirt. 597 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,360 Speaker 9: Yeah, and you have no siblings, so there's no possible 598 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,840 Speaker 9: ray of nieces or nephews. 599 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 6: And this is too big for you to be like, oh, 600 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 6: like it's for us having like you're not pregnant. 601 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 8: Yeah, you don't know that. You're not gonna announce to 602 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:02,959 Speaker 8: me that I'm pregnant. 603 00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 6: What a backwards way. Yeah, surprise he's pregnant. Right. 604 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,199 Speaker 9: We do have some comments though, Comment number one this, 605 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 9: I've randomly found kids clothes intermixed in my stuff. But 606 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,640 Speaker 9: it's as simple as I've had nieces and nephews over 607 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 9: even years prior and just never thought to do a 608 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:22,400 Speaker 9: clean house for crawl spaces or bins very often. It's 609 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 9: still weird, but this kind of stuff happens when you 610 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 9: sometimes babysit kids. If you don't or never have, it's 611 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 9: strange and weirder still to not have any curiosity whatsoever. 612 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 8: That's a good point, the. 613 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,600 Speaker 6: Fact that he's not like he's just kind of like, oh, 614 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:38,160 Speaker 6: that's weird. 615 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 9: It's just like a brand new baby of baby Nike's 616 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 9: and my clothes, like oh awkward. 617 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,520 Speaker 6: And then she's like he's like, actually, like I just 618 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 6: really like Bluey that shirt's for me, for me, She's like, 619 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 6: it's my baby. 620 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 8: Like I put on my leg, I. 621 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 9: Draw the little face on my I make a little 622 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:55,880 Speaker 9: puppet out of my leg. 623 00:28:55,960 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 6: Yeah. Like like best answer is I've taken up puppetry, right, 624 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 6: But the fact. 625 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 9: That he's not even curious about trying to make it's like, Okay, 626 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 9: there's definitely something going on. 627 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 6: Zero creativity problem. 628 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,680 Speaker 9: Come on, it doesn't have to be a mystery either 629 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,760 Speaker 9: of you can or even need to solve. 630 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 6: But his reaction or lack of surprise. 631 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 8: At all is a red flag in my opinion. 632 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 9: Come a number two says, you've now found baby shoes 633 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 9: and a shirt for a small child, maybe five or six. 634 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 9: They were in his garage and in his laundry. The 635 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:30,200 Speaker 9: laundry especially is suspect because that is constantly moving and refilling. 636 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 9: Does he think these items just magically appeared? There's maybe 637 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 9: one child or two in My first thought was that 638 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 9: there's a baby mama out there who was leaving evidence 639 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 9: for you to find. 640 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 8: Interesting. 641 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:41,280 Speaker 6: You know how some. 642 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 9: Women leave earrings in the bed or underwear behind so 643 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:44,920 Speaker 9: the man's wife can find it. 644 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 8: That's what I thought of with this. So what is 645 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 8: he going to do about this? What are you going 646 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 8: to do about it? I don't know if it will work, but. 647 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 9: You can search birth records online. You might have to pay, though, 648 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 9: sites like ancestry and my Heritage have birth records and 649 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 9: you don't have to have all the info like birthdates. 650 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 8: That's interesting. 651 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 6: I didn't know that. 652 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 8: That is good to know. We do have an update. 653 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,719 Speaker 9: Someone suggested I propose getting cameras and gauge his reaction. 654 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 9: He was very against it and immediately jumped to the 655 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,680 Speaker 9: conclusion that I was trying to catch him in something. 656 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,200 Speaker 9: His reaction took me mess fries. 657 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 6: Would you have to be caught doing? Exactly? After that, 658 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 6: I said screw it and. 659 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 8: Went through his phone. 660 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,200 Speaker 9: Another popular suggestion and something neither of us had done 661 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 9: since knowing each other. So I'd watched him put in 662 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,320 Speaker 9: the code from the corner of my eye and then 663 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 9: went through it while he slipped. I found a woman 664 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,960 Speaker 9: that he's been calling and answering calls from while he's working, 665 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 9: maybe every other day. After my hand stopped shaking, I 666 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 9: called from my phone and asked who she was. She 667 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,680 Speaker 9: asked me who I was, and I told her I'm 668 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 9: his fiance. She told me she's the mother of his kids, 669 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 9: and that he's a father of two boys, a girl 670 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,760 Speaker 9: ten seven and five years old. 671 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,440 Speaker 4: Oh my god. 672 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 6: Kids not so much. Okay, she didn't say his. 673 00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 8: Life though, Yeah, yeah, that's true, just the mother. 674 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 6: I'm wondering if they're in a relationship or if the 675 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 6: thing he's lied about is just not having a bunch 676 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:16,720 Speaker 6: of kids. Yeah, I mean, that's still a massive, unforgiven lie. 677 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 6: But I'm like, I'm wondering if maybe they're not like 678 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 6: together together a bunch of kids and their co parenting thing. 679 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 8: That's a good point. That's a good point. 680 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 6: Still weird, still like not something you don't disclose to 681 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,440 Speaker 6: someone that you're engaged to. 682 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,720 Speaker 9: Yeah, but okay, okay, okay, yeah, the next sentences. The 683 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 9: next sentences, they met in college and have been on 684 00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:39,400 Speaker 9: and off since then, but they're currently just co parenting. 685 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 8: An obvious lie, he says. Though, Okay, interesting. 686 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 6: An obvious line. 687 00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 9: Yeah, so maybe maybe there's like other hints of a relationship. 688 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 8: There's so much to the story. 689 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 9: She told me that she'd been told about me, and 690 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 9: that he said I was pregnant and had pretty much 691 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 9: moved here at random against his will, that I was 692 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,640 Speaker 9: just a crazy what night sand while they were on 693 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 9: a break, and he was just trying to co parent, 694 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,320 Speaker 9: basically playing this role of the heroic father to a 695 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 9: fake baby, trying to do right when in reality he's 696 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,080 Speaker 9: just a psychotic piece of garbage. 697 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 8: She seemed more relieved that I wasn't pregnant than anything, 698 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 8: but that's her issue. I told her about the shirt. 699 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 9: She said her kids had spent the weekend, another lie, 700 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 9: because no one has ever been here since I moved in. 701 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 9: She didn't even seem to care that he hid his 702 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 9: own children from a woman that he was going to marry. 703 00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 9: He doesn't know yet, but I'm leaving. 704 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:34,360 Speaker 8: I'll be using my little. 705 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,600 Speaker 9: Savings to get home and stay at a motel until 706 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 9: i'm on my feet again. Thankfully, when I left my job, 707 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,600 Speaker 9: my boss said I was always welcome back. 708 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 8: My flight is in two days. 709 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 9: I probably shouldn't have, but I also broke his phone 710 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 9: and said that I accidentally spilled water on it. 711 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 3: All. 712 00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 8: I actually spilled water on it. 713 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 6: Oh no, I mean like you accidentally had a secret family. 714 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 9: About an hour after I called her, she texted him 715 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,160 Speaker 9: call me, and I panicked. I assume she plans to 716 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,040 Speaker 9: tell him that I know, even though I asked her 717 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 9: not to. It hurts and I've been evaluating everything this far, 718 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 9: every conversation we've had, every little piece that hasn't added 719 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,239 Speaker 9: up one thing. 720 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:11,920 Speaker 8: I will say. 721 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 9: Although we never begged me to move or anything, we 722 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 9: did have numerous conversations about the possibility, and a month 723 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 9: before I moved here, he acted so excited and even 724 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,960 Speaker 9: sent me a bunch of job listings in the area. 725 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 9: I definitely did not stock him or pressure him, but 726 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 9: he clearly wants his baby mama if he's concocted this 727 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 9: whole psychotic fairy tale to sell to her. So I'm 728 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,600 Speaker 9: truly and honestly done. I'm just trying to remain calm 729 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 9: and saying until I'm up and out of his life 730 00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 9: for good. This whole time, he hasn't even asked why 731 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 9: I'm not talking to him either, Thankfully, I guess because 732 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:43,960 Speaker 9: I wouldn't know what to say. But I know he's 733 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 9: a garbage parasite, and that just hurts me even more. 734 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,680 Speaker 8: And we do have a little bit more to this story. 735 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,440 Speaker 8: I might just wrap this up. It's like a teeny 736 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 8: tiny bit more. 737 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 6: Yeah, let's hear it. 738 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,320 Speaker 9: It's like I really was just nothing this whole time. 739 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 9: I uprooted my whole life literally for nothing more than 740 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,920 Speaker 9: a single month of playing wife. Now I have to 741 00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,160 Speaker 9: pick up the pieces and repair them all on my own. Well, 742 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 9: his life stays unchanged and he gets to be happy 743 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 9: with his family. This has all happened within the last 744 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,759 Speaker 9: forty eight hours, so I am still collecting myself emotionally. 745 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:17,120 Speaker 9: And uh, that is the end of that story. 746 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,919 Speaker 8: Wow wow wow wow. 747 00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam your og host here. We're gonna get 748 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:23,719 Speaker 1: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads 749 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 1: from our sponsors. 750 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 7: My daughter's friend moved in with us and it's been 751 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 7: chaos ever since. 752 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 11: That is what having a roommate is like. 753 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,759 Speaker 7: And this comes from the r slash Okay storytime suppered it. 754 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:35,919 Speaker 7: This happened a few years ago, and some of it's 755 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,280 Speaker 7: a bit hazy, but it's a wild story. 756 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:39,160 Speaker 8: Some backstory. 757 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,359 Speaker 7: My husband male forty five and I female thirty five, 758 00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 7: weren't married yet but living together. He has four kids 759 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 7: total at the time, two lived with him. I have 760 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 7: two fur baby's dogs, and my daughter female twenty has 761 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,719 Speaker 7: a fur baby cat. My son male twenty two is 762 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 7: moving out and my daughter still lives at home. By 763 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,959 Speaker 7: the way, this comes from Icy Temporary sixty six ninety 764 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:00,719 Speaker 7: three and if you wants mee own stories, go to 765 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:03,640 Speaker 7: the r slash Okay, storytime suppered it. I'm Sophia and 766 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 7: I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily, 767 00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:07,960 Speaker 7: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 768 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,759 Speaker 7: what we'd do, So let us know what you would 769 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 7: do in the comments. My daughter's friend, let's call her Lily, 770 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 7: female twenty one, is having issues at home. My daughter 771 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 7: is telling us about it, and I talk with my husband. 772 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,239 Speaker 7: He's known Lily for a while. Some of what she's 773 00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 7: said about home life is true. Kids shouldn't have to 774 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,720 Speaker 7: go through anything that causes drama. I suggest letting Lily 775 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,480 Speaker 7: move in with us to get her away from it 776 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 7: and help guide her through the transition. Everyone agrees, great idea. 777 00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,560 Speaker 7: Lily doesn't give my daughter an answer right away. My 778 00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,480 Speaker 7: son has been moved out for a month and I'm. 779 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,280 Speaker 11: Thinking cool, we have an extra room. 780 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:42,440 Speaker 7: And then about six weeks later, my daughter says Lily 781 00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:45,239 Speaker 7: will be here in two weeks. My stomach fell out 782 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 7: of my body. I should have said something then, but 783 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,640 Speaker 7: I didn't. It felt like my world was about to change. 784 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 7: Lily moves in, gets a job within a month, and 785 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:56,080 Speaker 7: we discussed my daughter and Lily helping with financial contribution 786 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,720 Speaker 7: to the household one hundred and fifty dollars a month each. 787 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,920 Speaker 7: They're both over eighteen, both have full time jobs. Conveniently, 788 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,400 Speaker 7: we all work at the same place, except my husband. 789 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 7: He works overnights at a manufacturing plant. Lily has her 790 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 7: driver's license but not a car yet, and if I 791 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,600 Speaker 7: didn't have any plans on my day off, I'd let 792 00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,400 Speaker 7: Lily and my daughter take my car. Everything seems to 793 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,920 Speaker 7: be going good for the first month or so, but 794 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 7: doesn't it always go good in the beginning. After the 795 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 7: I'm wonderful phase, things started getting weird. We'd all get 796 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 7: off work at the same time, but for whatever reason, 797 00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 7: the girls thought they needed to change out of work 798 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,480 Speaker 7: clothes into street clothes at work in the employee bathroom. 799 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 7: I wanted to go home, so I'd be sitting there 800 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 7: waiting in my car ten to fifteen minutes for them 801 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 7: to come out. In that time, we could have been home. 802 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:42,560 Speaker 7: After a couple of weeks, I asked that they please 803 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 7: wait till we get home. 804 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:44,200 Speaker 11: To change. 805 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,919 Speaker 7: I said it nastier than intended. I had a bad 806 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,720 Speaker 7: day at work and was frustrated. Then I noticed my coffee, 807 00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 7: creamer and coffee are being used faster. 808 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 11: That's fine, doesn't bother me. 809 00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 7: Until the last of it is used and I'm not 810 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 7: told so I can buy more. So I talked to 811 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 7: the girls about it. If you use the last bit, 812 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:02,960 Speaker 7: please say so. Then it's not just the coffee or creamer, 813 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,120 Speaker 7: it's other items in the fridge too. I don't know 814 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,439 Speaker 7: how many mornings I didn't have breakfast. I'd sometimes cry 815 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 7: when I saw there weren't any eggs or bread, and 816 00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 7: I snapped. I was buying more and more creamer, coffee, eggs, 817 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,319 Speaker 7: and we were still going through it so fast. My 818 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,919 Speaker 7: daughter wanted to be nice and make Lily coffee. She's 819 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,879 Speaker 7: filling the filter completely full of grounds. That's a cup 820 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,640 Speaker 7: of grounds for a twenty four ounce tumbler. I ask 821 00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,120 Speaker 7: her why. He tells me Lily likes her coffee strong. 822 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,960 Speaker 7: I'd take her to the coffee pot and show where 823 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 7: there's a regular and strong brew. Adding more grounds doesn't 824 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:37,120 Speaker 7: make it stronger. Eventually this all evolves to I'm not 825 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 7: making dinner anymore because I'm tired of wasting my time 826 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,400 Speaker 7: and money. It took months to reach this point. Whatever 827 00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:46,319 Speaker 7: I made, they wouldn't eat. They'd order door dash, Uber 828 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 7: eats or takeout. So I made food for my husband 829 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 7: and me. 830 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:49,879 Speaker 8: That was it. 831 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,160 Speaker 7: My daughter and Lily are buying their own food that 832 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:55,000 Speaker 7: includes coffee and creamer. Yeah, that seemed like that was 833 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 7: the solution. That's honestly, that seems like a pretty easy solution. 834 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:02,319 Speaker 5: Though I like, i'd trust like this was more frustrating 835 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,319 Speaker 5: to actually live in. 836 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 8: But it is kind of funny to have. 837 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 10: This story be like my daughter's friend move in and 838 00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 10: it was absolute chaos, and it's so going faster, and 839 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,560 Speaker 10: they get Uber Eats and they'd change in the bathroom. 840 00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 5: I'm like, again, all annoying stuff, but I'm sort of 841 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:19,760 Speaker 5: waiting chaos. 842 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,160 Speaker 7: During all of this, I did try and bond, but Lily, 843 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,720 Speaker 7: like a friendship, she kept her distance because she didn't 844 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:27,520 Speaker 7: know me and was intimidated. Still, I invited her to 845 00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,719 Speaker 7: everything we did, she'd decline. Sometimes, when I had the 846 00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:32,319 Speaker 7: day off and the girls had to go to work, 847 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 7: they'd come home and go straight to one of their bedrooms. 848 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 7: Then I'd hear sobbing, not crying, sobbing. It was terrifying 849 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 7: at first. Both girls had really bad anxiety and the 850 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 7: smallest thing would set them off. I told my husband 851 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,640 Speaker 7: he had a month to help my daughter find some help. 852 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,520 Speaker 7: He didn't, so I did. Got my daughter in touch 853 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,000 Speaker 7: with the place, and she began counseling. At this point, 854 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,360 Speaker 7: she was in counseling for about ten months and began 855 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 7: to handle her mental stress in healthier ways. We all 856 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 7: strongly suggested to Lily she began counseling or therapy for herself. 857 00:39:01,719 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 7: He kept pushing it off and never went. Whenever I'd 858 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,319 Speaker 7: come home from work and they'd be home all day, 859 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,319 Speaker 7: Sometimes I come home to them both sobbing. I check 860 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 7: on them, and sometimes the answer I got would be. 861 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 8: We just really needed a session. 862 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 7: Eventually I stopped checking on them. There comes a day 863 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,920 Speaker 7: where the girls had asked to use my car. The 864 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,720 Speaker 7: next morning, sure, I don't work, keys are on the table. 865 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 7: Afternoon comes around and they still haven't left. My husband 866 00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,239 Speaker 7: is relaxing before work, and I decide to go to 867 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:28,160 Speaker 7: the store real quick. When I get back, he's getting 868 00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:30,080 Speaker 7: dressed and the girls are waiting in the living room. 869 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,479 Speaker 7: I ask what's going on? He tells me. After I left, 870 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,800 Speaker 7: my daughter went upstairs to tell Lily I had left 871 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,160 Speaker 7: with my car. Lily asks to take his car. He 872 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,240 Speaker 7: just got that car Adventure Pack Rev. Four, he says. 873 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:42,840 Speaker 6: Now. 874 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,240 Speaker 7: Lily gets upset and says they have to go somewhere. 875 00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 7: He tells her I'll be back soon. Lilly panics and 876 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,040 Speaker 7: says she has to leave now. I get back before 877 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 7: he's even finished dressing, and I get mad when he 878 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:55,920 Speaker 7: tells me all that I let the girls take my 879 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,640 Speaker 7: car and say we can talk about this when you 880 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,440 Speaker 7: get back. Before this, there were hints that Lily felt 881 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:03,919 Speaker 7: like my car was her car. He goes to work 882 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,640 Speaker 7: and girls get back and we talk. It all comes 883 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 7: down to ME telling Lily she had all morning and 884 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:10,800 Speaker 7: she didn't use my car like she said she would. 885 00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,160 Speaker 7: So I go somewhere and that's when you finally want 886 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,880 Speaker 7: to use my car. I told her I felt like 887 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:18,360 Speaker 7: she felt entitled to my car. She denied it, so 888 00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,680 Speaker 7: I reminded her it is my car. She's access to 889 00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:24,040 Speaker 7: my car because I allow her to, but that doesn't 890 00:40:24,080 --> 00:40:26,840 Speaker 7: mean it's hers to use at her convenience. Things with 891 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,720 Speaker 7: Lily just kept getting worse and worse. I actually forgot 892 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,400 Speaker 7: my husband lived with us. I felt alone. That's not 893 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,320 Speaker 7: a great situation. 894 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:35,720 Speaker 11: Again, again, not a good situation. 895 00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 8: I'm sure it was not fun to do. 896 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:39,719 Speaker 5: I didn't love me like The image that popped into 897 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,960 Speaker 5: my head is her going into the kitchen at like 898 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:43,160 Speaker 5: two am and he has motion. 899 00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 11: Jesus, sorry, I forgot you lived here. 900 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 8: I thought it was just thought Lily. 901 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,520 Speaker 11: Terrible girls and three animals. 902 00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 7: We had been talking about moving for a while, and 903 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:56,919 Speaker 7: when Lily moved in, we told her we'd be moving 904 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 7: the following year. So about six months through the lease, 905 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,640 Speaker 7: I began looking at places. I talk to my husband, 906 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 7: tell him how I'm feeling alone and unwelcome in my 907 00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 7: own house. Lily and I were fighting a lot. After 908 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 7: every fight, she'd ask if I hated her. I always 909 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,360 Speaker 7: said no, because I didn't. She needed help, help that 910 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,279 Speaker 7: I couldn't provide, and help she didn't want to get. 911 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,839 Speaker 7: Can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. Though, 912 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,880 Speaker 7: I tell him I couldn't live with her anymore, that 913 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,319 Speaker 7: if he wanted to take Lily with us during the move, 914 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,600 Speaker 7: I'd find my own apartment. My own inner piece was 915 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,920 Speaker 7: more important. To me than Lily was. He told me 916 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 7: he felt the same about Lily and didn't want to 917 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 7: bring her with us. Neither one of us wanted to 918 00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 7: tell her we didn't want her moving with us, and 919 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 7: Lily was also trying to convince my daughter to move 920 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,000 Speaker 7: out with her. I discouraged that. I was beginning to 921 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 7: realize Lily was a leech. My daughter always had to 922 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 7: be with her do as she said. Lily was isolating 923 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 7: my daughter and I didn't like it. Even friendships can 924 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,319 Speaker 7: turn harmful, so we had a hard conversation together. We 925 00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,439 Speaker 7: talked to Lily about her behavior and how we weren't 926 00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 7: okay with it. We also told her that if nothing changes, 927 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,400 Speaker 7: we do not want her to move with us. The 928 00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:00,640 Speaker 7: conversation did not go well. She thinks you hate her. 929 00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 7: She's crying, my husband's crying, my daughter's crying. I'm stoic 930 00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,960 Speaker 7: as f Still, I don't ate her. I just didn't 931 00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:08,920 Speaker 7: feel anything. 932 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:09,480 Speaker 8: For her anymore. 933 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,279 Speaker 7: Things got worse after that. Found a place for us 934 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,520 Speaker 7: and got so excited I convinced my husband to sign 935 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,320 Speaker 7: the lease without him having seen the property. Lily doesn't 936 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 7: know where it is. This was in December and we 937 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,960 Speaker 7: signed the lease on the new place, and we still 938 00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,080 Speaker 7: had the lease with Lily until May at the old place. 939 00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,000 Speaker 7: We decided we could pay both leases. Lily and my 940 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,920 Speaker 7: daughter were going to stay at the old place together 941 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,240 Speaker 7: while my husband and I lived in the new place alone. 942 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:37,120 Speaker 7: The day after Christmas, everything explodes again. This was the 943 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 7: word done explosion. Lily and I were arguing, and my 944 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 7: daughter opened up and told us how she felt about Lily, 945 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 7: but wasn't sure how to end it, so we kept 946 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,360 Speaker 7: Lily away from the new place. Later that night, my 947 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 7: husband and I told Lily she wasn't coming with us. 948 00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,320 Speaker 7: She had thought things blew over and she was fine 949 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,600 Speaker 7: to come with us. I was firm and said absolutely not. 950 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,919 Speaker 7: She has some kind of dissociation with the conversation kept 951 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,160 Speaker 7: repeating how she needed to go to the gym. We 952 00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:05,080 Speaker 7: kept steering the conversation towards No, you're not coming with us. 953 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 7: We've had enough of this behavior. She kept saying, can 954 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,600 Speaker 7: we talk about this later. I need to go to 955 00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:11,960 Speaker 7: the gym. She leaves and my daughter goes with her. 956 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,920 Speaker 7: My husband has a bad feeling the entire time. We 957 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,319 Speaker 7: go get some fast food, and as soon as we 958 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:20,120 Speaker 7: get back, my phone rings. I've always told the kids, 959 00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 7: I don't care where you are or what time it is. 960 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,920 Speaker 7: If you are unsafe and you don't want to be 961 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 7: there anymore, call me. I will be there, no questions asked. 962 00:43:28,520 --> 00:43:31,040 Speaker 7: The phone rings, and it's my daughter. I answer. 963 00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,000 Speaker 11: She's crying. 964 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,719 Speaker 7: We get back in the car and stay on the 965 00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:36,680 Speaker 7: phone with her the entire time. She's in the gym 966 00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,719 Speaker 7: bathroom because Lily is taking her anger out on her. 967 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,360 Speaker 7: Lily is putting the blame of the fallout on my daughter. 968 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,759 Speaker 7: We get to the gym, my husband goes inside to 969 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:47,000 Speaker 7: get her. We get back to the house, set my 970 00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:50,560 Speaker 7: daughter up in our room, favorite pillow, here's the dogs remote, 971 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:53,319 Speaker 7: lock the door. We're gonna smasher burgers, and then we're 972 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,759 Speaker 7: packing some stuff to leave. It's one thing to fight 973 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,480 Speaker 7: with me, it's another to go after my daughter. I 974 00:43:58,640 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 7: was cold, I. 975 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:01,279 Speaker 8: Was calm, I was dangerous. 976 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,360 Speaker 7: I don't remember how long we were in my daughter's 977 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,000 Speaker 7: room packing. When Lily gets back, she goes straight to 978 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,040 Speaker 7: the bedroom door and opens it, not very far because 979 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 7: I was sitting in front of the door. Lily says, oh, 980 00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 7: she wasn't expecting that. She begins crying about how her 981 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,280 Speaker 7: best friend left her at the gym, and she doesn't know. 982 00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:18,480 Speaker 11: Why, what's going on. 983 00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:21,520 Speaker 7: My husband keeps responding to her, and after a minute 984 00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 7: or two, I just lean back and slowly shut the 985 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:26,760 Speaker 7: door on her. I tell him not to respond anymore 986 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,520 Speaker 7: because that's what she wants. So there we are shut 987 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,759 Speaker 7: in my daughter's room packing her stuff, while Lily is 988 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,799 Speaker 7: crying about how she doesn't know what's going on and 989 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,680 Speaker 7: is scared. She says, I brought Abby. Please talk to me, 990 00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,200 Speaker 7: what's happening. I brought Abby. My daughter stops, gets a 991 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 7: panic look on her face and begins to repeat she 992 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:47,520 Speaker 7: brought Abby. I get her focused on me and say, nope, focus, 993 00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,200 Speaker 7: is this keep or throw away? 994 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,320 Speaker 8: We continue packing. 995 00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,000 Speaker 7: Lily eventually goes away to her room with Abby. We 996 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:55,960 Speaker 7: load up my husband's car with my daughter, her stuff, 997 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 7: and all three fur babies, and we head to the 998 00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:00,839 Speaker 7: new house. We unpack at the new house, go back 999 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 7: for our stuff, and spend the night at the new place. 1000 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,120 Speaker 7: No electric or heat yet, but we were done with Lily. 1001 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 7: The next day, my husband, my son, and I go 1002 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:10,080 Speaker 7: back to the house with the u al and pack 1003 00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,320 Speaker 7: up everything that is ours. Lily's car was in the driveway. 1004 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,320 Speaker 11: She had a car this whole time. 1005 00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,040 Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess now she does, so we thought she 1006 00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 5: was home sleeping. 1007 00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:22,520 Speaker 7: We did it all quietly. We left my daughter at 1008 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,960 Speaker 7: home because we didn't want Lily to have an opportunity 1009 00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 7: to get her alone again. We move everything out, leaving 1010 00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,960 Speaker 7: Lily alone in the old house. I text Lily as 1011 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,200 Speaker 7: she has until the end of January to move out. 1012 00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,360 Speaker 7: We didn't tell her where we were so she couldn't 1013 00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,920 Speaker 7: bother us, and she doesn't respond. Lily kept trying to 1014 00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 7: guilt my daughter into talking to her again, and Abby 1015 00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,400 Speaker 7: did the same. We let my daughter make up her 1016 00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,719 Speaker 7: own mind. She decided to not talk to Lily anymore 1017 00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:48,839 Speaker 7: and made new socials without Lily as a friend. I 1018 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,839 Speaker 7: was proud of her for that. It was years till 1019 00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,520 Speaker 7: we saw Lily again at a big box store and 1020 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,680 Speaker 7: I wanted to talk to her and see how she's doing, 1021 00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:56,400 Speaker 7: but I didn't. 1022 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 11: I won't. 1023 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,760 Speaker 7: My intention wasn't ever to hurt her, but I couldn't 1024 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,040 Speaker 7: do it anymore for myself, and then she took her 1025 00:46:02,080 --> 00:46:03,120 Speaker 7: anger out on my daughter. 1026 00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:04,360 Speaker 4: I was done. 1027 00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,520 Speaker 7: I know I wasn't perfect in all of it, and 1028 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,240 Speaker 7: I made mistakes. I still think about Lily and wondered 1029 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,560 Speaker 7: how we could have done better for her. But you 1030 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 7: can't help anyone who can't help themselves. My daughter learned 1031 00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,719 Speaker 7: some valuable life lessons. She began being more assertive about 1032 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:22,000 Speaker 7: her personal feelings and boundaries. She's grown so much and 1033 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 7: is doing well. I couldn't be prouder. And that's the 1034 00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:27,279 Speaker 7: end of that story. And you know what, seems like 1035 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:28,720 Speaker 7: everything's doing a lot better. 1036 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,799 Speaker 5: Yeah, I honestly think Opie probably did. 1037 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,600 Speaker 6: Dude, it sounds like she did her best. 1038 00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,440 Speaker 8: I agree, I agree. 1039 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 7: I think I think it's not always you know, I 1040 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,879 Speaker 7: think Opee went into this wanting to help a young girl, 1041 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,080 Speaker 7: and this girl turned out to be a lot more 1042 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 7: work than Opie was able to handle. 1043 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,640 Speaker 8: And that's you know, that sometimes happens. 1044 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,839 Speaker 9: And that's the end of this story. We're going on 1045 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:48,400 Speaker 9: to the next one. 1046 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,520 Speaker 4: Hey, it's johnio og host here. We're gonna get back 1047 00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:52,120 Speaker 4: to the stories. But he's a quick three minute break 1048 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:53,120 Speaker 4: of asthmim our sponsors. 1049 00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,480 Speaker 5: My nephew turned my home into a free hotel and 1050 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:57,160 Speaker 5: I've had enough? 1051 00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,640 Speaker 6: What is this hotel for dogs? 1052 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:04,120 Speaker 5: My nephew, twenty male, who I've dearly loved forever brought 1053 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 5: his new girlfriend eighteen female to meet us and asked. 1054 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,640 Speaker 6: If they could stay over. I said sure, we have two. 1055 00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:11,960 Speaker 5: Very comfy sofas, and came down the next morning to 1056 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,880 Speaker 5: find them both entwined on the one sofa. 1057 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,680 Speaker 7: Whoa pretty risque, pretty riskue. 1058 00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:22,520 Speaker 5: This does come from user diligent ad thirty eight sixty 1059 00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,560 Speaker 5: four and if you want to submit your own stories, 1060 00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,160 Speaker 5: good to our slash Okay story time subredded. 1061 00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,240 Speaker 11: I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and. 1062 00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:30,840 Speaker 6: We're here to give good advice. 1063 00:47:30,560 --> 00:47:32,840 Speaker 5: In a goofy manner. But we don't have all the answers. 1064 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 5: We're not omniscient, so you only know what we would do, 1065 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,920 Speaker 5: and let us know what you would do in those sweet, 1066 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,400 Speaker 5: sweet comments. This wouldn't bother most people, but we're hardcore 1067 00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 5: Christians and don't believe spicy sleep before marriage is a 1068 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:48,120 Speaker 5: good idea and something we are trying to instill in 1069 00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:52,200 Speaker 5: our own children ages fourteen, twelve, nine, and six. Still 1070 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,480 Speaker 5: they're not Christian, so we chose to ignore it and 1071 00:47:54,520 --> 00:47:57,000 Speaker 5: explain to our kids that we can't enforce our beliefs 1072 00:47:57,000 --> 00:48:00,160 Speaker 5: on others. This happens a few times over the next fortnight. 1073 00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:02,680 Speaker 5: Nephew then asks, if I get a caravan, could I 1074 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,480 Speaker 5: perk it on your drive so we can live there? 1075 00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,319 Speaker 11: WHOA, that's a this is a big step up. 1076 00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:13,080 Speaker 5: I'm also scurious, like entwined is such a fascinating herb, 1077 00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,560 Speaker 5: because I'm like, well do we I think we were 1078 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:16,240 Speaker 5: just cuddling. 1079 00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:18,880 Speaker 7: That's kind of my vibe. Well, I mean I was 1080 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,240 Speaker 7: not on that couch. We don't know how they were entwined. 1081 00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:22,840 Speaker 6: I love you. 1082 00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:27,080 Speaker 7: That's a I thought this was kind of a one 1083 00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:27,760 Speaker 7: night thing. 1084 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,799 Speaker 11: Yeah, I also love I've been thinking about moving in. 1085 00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,120 Speaker 7: I've been thinking about moving in. 1086 00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:33,040 Speaker 8: I hope that. 1087 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,759 Speaker 5: You're thinking of the same thing too. Nephew says, yeah, 1088 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,200 Speaker 5: it makes sense. I'm here all the time anyways. Now 1089 00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:42,720 Speaker 5: they're both here most nights, no longer bothering to ask. 1090 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:45,359 Speaker 5: One day, I come home from food shopping at five 1091 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,920 Speaker 5: am to find them practically dry humping on the sofa, 1092 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:53,080 Speaker 5: her underneath, legs wrapped around him, sucking on his neck 1093 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:56,080 Speaker 5: while he's smooching on hers. My four kids are in 1094 00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:59,480 Speaker 5: the room on various screens and playing with toys. 1095 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,640 Speaker 7: I'm all right, that's crazy to be like, howdays they're 1096 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,279 Speaker 7: like four nine and twelve thirteen or twelve. 1097 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 6: Nine in six. 1098 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:10,960 Speaker 7: Okay, still, OI, can we stop with the overtly spicy 1099 00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,120 Speaker 7: related displays in front of my kids? 1100 00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:13,600 Speaker 8: Please? 1101 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:17,320 Speaker 6: Nephew lifts his head and says, what we're cuddling? 1102 00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:21,520 Speaker 5: I retort yeah, horizontally. They stare at each other deadban 1103 00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,799 Speaker 5: like I'm being unreasonable. I turn into a comedian. I 1104 00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,759 Speaker 5: barely kiss Hobby in front of our kids, so this 1105 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:31,000 Speaker 5: horizontal canodling is a bit much. Waving my hands dramatically 1106 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,760 Speaker 5: and laughing. They both get up and sit side by side, 1107 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,160 Speaker 5: holding hands. I later chat with them and explain our 1108 00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,640 Speaker 5: values and state that we're trying to raise our kids 1109 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,839 Speaker 5: with what we believe is right. We don't particularly want 1110 00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,200 Speaker 5: to store up future problems with our own kids when 1111 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:47,600 Speaker 5: they're older, asking why their own girlfriend's boyfriends can't stay. 1112 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 5: When we let nephew and girlfriend to give credit, they 1113 00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:52,879 Speaker 5: take this on board. However, we now come down most 1114 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,759 Speaker 5: mornings to the sofa cushions all on the floor where 1115 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 5: they've made themselves the double bed. Girlfriend doesn't work, so 1116 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,960 Speaker 5: she's here constant while nephew leaves her work at six 1117 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,880 Speaker 5: am and gets back around five pm. Girlfriend likes to 1118 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,560 Speaker 5: Binge series on Netflix, munching on crisps. 1119 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,600 Speaker 7: They are British, They're British, British, They're British. 1120 00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,640 Speaker 5: Everything she watches is fifteen rated. While my kids are 1121 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,640 Speaker 5: in the living room. They know we don't swear, and 1122 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,640 Speaker 5: we've asked them often to curb the very heavy language. 1123 00:50:18,360 --> 00:50:18,839 Speaker 6: That they use. 1124 00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,200 Speaker 5: Nephew is a hotthead like his dad, and his favorite 1125 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,000 Speaker 5: word is the F word since he hit eighteen. Nephew 1126 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,640 Speaker 5: then tells me that his dad has asked him to 1127 00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,439 Speaker 5: move his stuff out since he hasn't paid him rent 1128 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,920 Speaker 5: the whole time he's been staying most nights at mine. 1129 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:35,440 Speaker 5: Nephew drives a pretty fast car no seatbelt because quote 1130 00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:39,000 Speaker 5: they're uncomfortable. Nephew is trying to break his family's record 1131 00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:41,560 Speaker 5: of one hundred and twenty five miles per hour. His 1132 00:50:41,600 --> 00:50:44,480 Speaker 5: car has lowered springs, and he realizes the wheels are 1133 00:50:44,480 --> 00:50:47,040 Speaker 5: being eaten into by the rims, but can't afford to 1134 00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:49,200 Speaker 5: fix it just yet. He borrows our old banger to 1135 00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:52,359 Speaker 5: get to work. Two weeks later, Nephew's telling me he's 1136 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,080 Speaker 5: going to give me some money towards food while he's here. 1137 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,680 Speaker 5: After another two weeks he offers me fifty zero. He 1138 00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,400 Speaker 5: already owed me thirty, so I say, with the thirty 1139 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,920 Speaker 5: dollars you owe me, is that eighty pounds? Then his 1140 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,960 Speaker 5: face drops, but he rallies quickly and says, yeah, sure, 1141 00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,600 Speaker 5: bearing in mind I'm on disability. We have four kids 1142 00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:11,879 Speaker 5: and my husband earns just over minimum weight, so we're 1143 00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,960 Speaker 5: not that well off and pretty much live hand to mouth. 1144 00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:16,439 Speaker 5: I order food in bulk, and order treats and things 1145 00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,319 Speaker 5: on Amazon, subscribe and save to save money where we can. 1146 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,719 Speaker 5: I buy cans of Sona to save money when we 1147 00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:25,160 Speaker 5: go to the cinema. I also buy booze cheaply at 1148 00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:27,160 Speaker 5: all the ahead of when I need it now. If 1149 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,800 Speaker 5: he likes to treat himself with these by taking first, 1150 00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 5: then asking you don't mind if I well, yes, actually 1151 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 5: I do now where it wasn't so much a problem 1152 00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,359 Speaker 5: when you were only visiting. I've also started saying buy 1153 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,400 Speaker 5: your own munch whenever my kids are eating sweets or crisps, 1154 00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 5: or whenever we're sharing something and he pipes up with ooh. 1155 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,000 Speaker 8: What you got. 1156 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:46,000 Speaker 7: This happens a lot. 1157 00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:49,000 Speaker 5: I've also begun to state, dude, bye, you eat way, 1158 00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:51,919 Speaker 5: and there's six of us to live off that money. 1159 00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:55,520 Speaker 5: I also noticed empty adult soda bottles in the car, 1160 00:51:55,920 --> 00:51:59,279 Speaker 5: including the driver's door. Ooh, and pull him up on that, 1161 00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,160 Speaker 5: saying I'm not impressed and it's pretty disrespectful to borrow 1162 00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:05,759 Speaker 5: my car and drink and drive. He gets cheapest and apologize. 1163 00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:08,560 Speaker 5: Then nephew calls one day to ask what we need 1164 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,839 Speaker 5: to keep from the car he's borrowed, since it's being 1165 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,680 Speaker 5: towed by the police who have caught him speeding in 1166 00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,720 Speaker 5: the car with no insurance. There's me thinking he's switched 1167 00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,800 Speaker 5: his insurance over to our car. Oh, since he was 1168 00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:23,640 Speaker 5: warned we had no insurance on it as we weren't 1169 00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:27,360 Speaker 5: driving it currently. It was on our drive tax though Nope. 1170 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 5: He tried to blag that he thought he was covered 1171 00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,400 Speaker 5: under a third party, but obviously they weren't born. Yesterday, 1172 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,720 Speaker 5: our car gets towed. That sucks, and he says, sorry, 1173 00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:38,600 Speaker 5: it's going to cost you one hundred and ninety pounds 1174 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,520 Speaker 5: to get it back out, and that increases to twenty 1175 00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:44,319 Speaker 5: pounds per day, so you'll need to do it soon. 1176 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,920 Speaker 5: Thankfully I was able to remind him that I'd said 1177 00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:48,839 Speaker 5: to him when he first borrowed it, you get caught 1178 00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,920 Speaker 5: doing anything illegal in it. It's on you may and 1179 00:52:51,040 --> 00:52:53,520 Speaker 5: his face fell. We borrowed the one one hundred and 1180 00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:54,560 Speaker 5: ninety pounds. 1181 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:55,160 Speaker 8: And got the car back. 1182 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,520 Speaker 5: I also bought the spark plug that had been damaged 1183 00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,440 Speaker 5: from a new oil leak, which he fitted and got 1184 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,440 Speaker 5: it back on the We had to pay for a 1185 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:03,480 Speaker 5: new insurance contract on this car to be able to. 1186 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 11: Get the police to release it. 1187 00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:06,960 Speaker 5: Last week, our own car had to be towed to 1188 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,400 Speaker 5: the garage when the brakes failed. I call him to 1189 00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,480 Speaker 5: ask what time he's back and say, gotta need our 1190 00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:13,440 Speaker 5: car back. It's in the garage and I need to 1191 00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:16,640 Speaker 5: get a food shop done. He replies, Ah, well that's 1192 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,040 Speaker 5: not going to work given the state that it's in. 1193 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:21,960 Speaker 5: I think and say, yeah, I've seen the state of it. 1194 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,000 Speaker 5: But I can push the rubbish to one side as 1195 00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:25,960 Speaker 5: I only need the driver's seat, don't need to take 1196 00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:29,040 Speaker 5: anyone with me. He replies, I've just had to drive 1197 00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:33,000 Speaker 5: it into a ditch to avoid hitting some idiot driving 1198 00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,040 Speaker 5: like a tweat. I ask what the damage is he replies, 1199 00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:39,239 Speaker 5: The front has gone. The driver's side wing mirror is 1200 00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,759 Speaker 5: hanging by its wire smash, there's no headlights, on the 1201 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,880 Speaker 5: left side and half a number. He says, I've managed 1202 00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:48,160 Speaker 5: to find someone with a towbar because it wasn't moving. 1203 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,600 Speaker 5: I said, well, you're a third party. You can claim 1204 00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:53,440 Speaker 5: on the insurance, and he says no, because I avoided 1205 00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:56,239 Speaker 5: hitting him because I wasn't wearing a seat belt and 1206 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,239 Speaker 5: didn't want to go through the windscreen, so I drove 1207 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,279 Speaker 5: into the ditch on purpose and he's driven off. So 1208 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,920 Speaker 5: you've written my car off because you chose not to 1209 00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:07,759 Speaker 5: wear a seat belt and he says yeah. Basically, he 1210 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:09,560 Speaker 5: manages to drive it back to mine and it's not 1211 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:12,279 Speaker 5: driving terribly because I drive it two minutes around the 1212 00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:14,120 Speaker 5: corner to grab the food I need. This is now 1213 00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,480 Speaker 5: nine PM when I get back. He says, I'm still 1214 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,040 Speaker 5: taking it to work in the morning because I've got 1215 00:54:18,120 --> 00:54:20,440 Speaker 5: no choice, hoping at that time in the morning there 1216 00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:23,040 Speaker 5: won't be many coppers about. He then gets back around 1217 00:54:23,080 --> 00:54:23,840 Speaker 5: five pm, so. 1218 00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,000 Speaker 6: He takes it to work in the morning. 1219 00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,440 Speaker 7: At this point, like, yeah, he's in a hole and 1220 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,640 Speaker 7: he's a fall here, but like you're a little bit 1221 00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:33,520 Speaker 7: up fall Like if so fool me once you know. 1222 00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:39,680 Speaker 5: We're at fool me. Thrice stereotar like fool me fifth, yeah, fife. 1223 00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:42,239 Speaker 5: He then gets back around five pm and states had 1224 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,839 Speaker 5: to limp the car home. It's really not doing well. 1225 00:54:45,080 --> 00:54:46,000 Speaker 8: I'm sure it's not. 1226 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,800 Speaker 11: I imagined it wouldn't be. 1227 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 5: I get in it to pop to the supermarket for 1228 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,040 Speaker 5: stuff I couldn't get the day before, and it won't 1229 00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,239 Speaker 5: even turn over. We try to jumpstart it, but it's 1230 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,680 Speaker 5: not playing ball. Cars passed away. He says, you can 1231 00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,080 Speaker 5: get about two hundred and fifty or three hundred pounds 1232 00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,400 Speaker 5: for it from the scrappy I'll call them tomorrow. 1233 00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:01,920 Speaker 6: Oh yeah. 1234 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,279 Speaker 5: A couple of weeks before, he'd asked about scrapping it 1235 00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,319 Speaker 5: when it inevitably passed away, and then said, I'll need 1236 00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,640 Speaker 5: to use that dash to get my car back on 1237 00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:11,840 Speaker 5: the road so I can still get to work. My face, 1238 00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:14,360 Speaker 5: I can't even describe the look I gave him. He 1239 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:16,759 Speaker 5: looks a bit sheepish, and I ask, well, how much 1240 00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,520 Speaker 5: do you think it'll cost to get yours sorted? 1241 00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,120 Speaker 6: And he says, got to sort. 1242 00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,200 Speaker 5: The tires, so probably around two hundred pounds. So now 1243 00:55:22,280 --> 00:55:24,000 Speaker 5: here we are a four car family and none of 1244 00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:27,040 Speaker 5: them currently working. He duly calls the breaker's yard. When 1245 00:55:27,040 --> 00:55:28,919 Speaker 5: I ask him how they were paying me. He says, 1246 00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:31,759 Speaker 5: they're paying it into my account. He'd actually managed to 1247 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:33,719 Speaker 5: fix his tires the week before, and it said I 1248 00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:36,120 Speaker 5: won't be needing to borrow much. So when the breakers 1249 00:55:36,120 --> 00:55:38,439 Speaker 5: collected the car, I call him and ask if they've sent. 1250 00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:38,879 Speaker 8: The money yet. 1251 00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,799 Speaker 5: He says, nah, it'll be later this afternoon. I say, 1252 00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:43,640 Speaker 5: we'll buzz it over to me when it gets there yet, 1253 00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,160 Speaker 5: and he says, yeah, no problem. Around four PM, I 1254 00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:48,160 Speaker 5: call and say, have they sent you the dosh yet? 1255 00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:49,919 Speaker 8: His reply yeah. 1256 00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:53,080 Speaker 5: I say, well send it over to me then, because 1257 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:56,120 Speaker 5: I need to do a supermarket delivery since I can't 1258 00:55:56,160 --> 00:55:58,160 Speaker 5: get there now, and he says, how much do you need? 1259 00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:00,440 Speaker 5: I said all of it? Ah, we had to use 1260 00:56:00,480 --> 00:56:02,239 Speaker 5: some of it in the car. I asked how much 1261 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,240 Speaker 5: did you use and he replies about two hundred pounds. 1262 00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,680 Speaker 5: I got and yell his name in an incredulous way. 1263 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:09,480 Speaker 5: He says, well, I did say I'd need to borrow 1264 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,520 Speaker 5: about two hundred pounds, and then proceeded to tell me 1265 00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:14,440 Speaker 5: he spent about five hundred pounds that week trying to 1266 00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,520 Speaker 5: get it sorted. Presuming I imagined that I'll feel sorry 1267 00:56:17,600 --> 00:56:20,000 Speaker 5: for him. I reminded him of what he'd said previously 1268 00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:23,040 Speaker 5: about having had the tires done, significantly reducing the amount 1269 00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,960 Speaker 5: he'd need to borrow. He said, oh yeah, sorry, I 1270 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:30,000 Speaker 5: demand he sends the remaining forty dollars forty pounds over 1271 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:32,399 Speaker 5: and tell him I'll borrow the rest for my sister. 1272 00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,759 Speaker 5: I didn't mention at this point there. We're also going 1273 00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,719 Speaker 5: to be spending five hundred pounds fixing our other car. 1274 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:40,480 Speaker 5: This was five nights ago. Our car is still in 1275 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,360 Speaker 5: the garage and there's a crack in some pipe that 1276 00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:46,200 Speaker 5: needs replacing. It's going to cost us five hundred pounds, 1277 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:48,359 Speaker 5: which I've managed to hold back since we've been paid 1278 00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:51,919 Speaker 5: Hubby's monthly salary, but it's left us understandably tight this month, 1279 00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:55,880 Speaker 5: what with Hubby needing to use public transportation to work too. Thankfully, 1280 00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:59,120 Speaker 5: he works twenty four to forty eight hour shift, which 1281 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,400 Speaker 5: usually saved those petrol since he's only driving there and 1282 00:57:02,600 --> 00:57:04,960 Speaker 5: back once or twice a week. We've given the top 1283 00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,160 Speaker 5: bunk to the nephew, and the nine and six year 1284 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:11,479 Speaker 5: old are top and tailing in my daughter's single room, 1285 00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,239 Speaker 5: so all three older boys are sharing together. This is 1286 00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,240 Speaker 5: again where I think you're exactly right, and now I 1287 00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:18,120 Speaker 5: will even go so far as like, again, I'm trying 1288 00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:19,360 Speaker 5: to be sympathetic to Opie. 1289 00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:21,560 Speaker 6: Yeah, but like that's not fair to your kid. 1290 00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:22,919 Speaker 8: No, it's not fair to your kids. 1291 00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,360 Speaker 7: Your kids. One, you said you're trying to raise them 1292 00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:29,560 Speaker 7: in a certain way, and already you are effectively at 1293 00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:32,680 Speaker 7: like not at fault, but like you are responsible for 1294 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,040 Speaker 7: them not being raised that way when he's around influencing 1295 00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,120 Speaker 7: them in another way. And then also you are, like 1296 00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:43,680 Speaker 7: you know, making them share much smaller quarters because the 1297 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:46,280 Speaker 7: nephew gets to stay and take advantage and eat the 1298 00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,640 Speaker 7: food that you know, more than inconveniences the whole family. 1299 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,560 Speaker 5: Since nephew declared that the younger lads can have the 1300 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,160 Speaker 5: sofas so they can share the bed, we've had to 1301 00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:57,960 Speaker 5: have another chat about our values, which began with the 1302 00:57:58,040 --> 00:58:01,160 Speaker 5: line absolutely not you're having a laugh. Since then, they've 1303 00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:04,040 Speaker 5: been staying weekends at her dad. They still expect to 1304 00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,040 Speaker 5: be fed when they arrive here with no warning, as 1305 00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:08,000 Speaker 5: he generally doesn't sleep in more than three or four 1306 00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:10,520 Speaker 5: nights a week. Last night, I didn't cook enough shepherd's 1307 00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,600 Speaker 5: pie as we didn't have enough potatoes or meat four 1308 00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,000 Speaker 5: hundred and fifty four grams in the portion of lambmins. 1309 00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,160 Speaker 5: I've managed to make it stretch by finding a few 1310 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,920 Speaker 5: older potatoes in the pantry, making a new batch of max, 1311 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,080 Speaker 5: and stretch the meat sauce by adding another carrotstick of 1312 00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:25,080 Speaker 5: celery and putting more water in in some gravy granules. 1313 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,320 Speaker 5: I had to make this extra mash while eating mine, 1314 00:58:27,600 --> 00:58:29,840 Speaker 5: because they disappeared at six pm when I was cooking, 1315 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:32,000 Speaker 5: so I didn't actually know they'd be eating with us. 1316 00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:34,440 Speaker 5: When they arrived back and declared they were starving, I 1317 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:36,680 Speaker 5: had to try and make it stretch for the seven 1318 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:38,800 Speaker 5: of us. I think I did pretty well. They even 1319 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:40,919 Speaker 5: had leftovers which I was able to give to the dog. 1320 00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:44,120 Speaker 5: I asked last night when he gets paid, and he says, Friday, 1321 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,120 Speaker 5: Why I reply, because we're skinned mate, and he o 1322 00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:49,280 Speaker 5: is quite a lot. He goes, oh, yeah, the two 1323 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:51,680 Speaker 5: hundred pounds, And I said, and the rest you've had 1324 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,880 Speaker 5: over the last couple of weeks. And I do literally 1325 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,680 Speaker 5: go through my bank account on my phone to add 1326 00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,920 Speaker 5: up the totals. He's conveniently forgotten the small bits he's borrowed, 1327 00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,560 Speaker 5: which totals two hundred and thirty eight pounds, which does 1328 00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:03,840 Speaker 5: not include the one ninety for the impound fee from 1329 00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,360 Speaker 5: a few weeks bey four. He keeps forgetting about that too, 1330 00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:08,080 Speaker 5: since I told him I'd borrowed it from my sister. 1331 00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:11,480 Speaker 5: He thinks he owes her, even though I've paid her back. 1332 00:59:11,560 --> 00:59:14,320 Speaker 5: I'm getting seriously fed up. My sister arrived unannounced on 1333 00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:17,240 Speaker 5: Thursday and offered them her house to live in. Honestly, 1334 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:20,680 Speaker 5: please yeah, since she's paying rent on it but living 1335 00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:23,560 Speaker 5: with her man in his place mostly and they're buying 1336 00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,880 Speaker 5: another house together. The girlfriend has jumped at the offer, 1337 00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:28,760 Speaker 5: as it'll cost them just under one thousand pounds a month, 1338 00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:32,080 Speaker 5: including council tax and bills, which is a freaking steal 1339 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,640 Speaker 5: for a two bedroom house in that area. He's complaining 1340 00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,880 Speaker 5: about how much it's going to cost him, even though 1341 00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:39,240 Speaker 5: he earns twenty to twenty five pounds per hour. But 1342 00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,880 Speaker 5: I reminded him what he should be paying for that bargain. 1343 00:59:42,080 --> 00:59:43,600 Speaker 5: So they'll be moving out in a couple of weeks. 1344 00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:44,560 Speaker 11: I thank goodness. 1345 00:59:44,760 --> 00:59:47,080 Speaker 5: I cannot wait because we've no savings left and not 1346 00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,400 Speaker 5: having a living room is causing a few issues. Feel 1347 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,560 Speaker 5: like a right mug, but he declared to me when 1348 00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,640 Speaker 5: we got back in touch that he always pays his 1349 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:57,040 Speaker 5: debts back. He owes me close to five hundred pounds now. 1350 00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:59,960 Speaker 5: He wrote my car off and is paying and contributed 1351 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,360 Speaker 5: nothing apart from the fifty pounds he gave me two 1352 01:00:02,360 --> 01:00:04,440 Speaker 5: weeks ago. I don't know how to even broach the subject, 1353 01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:06,520 Speaker 5: to be honest, but I need him to contribute from 1354 01:00:06,560 --> 01:00:08,880 Speaker 5: this week going forward, since all our money is going 1355 01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:11,560 Speaker 5: on getting our car fixed before the seventeenth. My dad 1356 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:13,680 Speaker 5: is coming from Australia to see us all and has 1357 01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,040 Speaker 5: booked a cottage for us to stay in Scotland, and 1358 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,080 Speaker 5: we'll be needing to drive ten hours to get there. 1359 01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,360 Speaker 5: We have to use our car as it's a seventh 1360 01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:22,920 Speaker 5: seater and we're going for one week. We can't afford 1361 01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:26,160 Speaker 5: to hire one, plus there's six of us. Any advice appreciated. 1362 01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:27,760 Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's the update.