Speaker 1: I had my first big girl parenting moment. And my
Speaker 1: daughter and I are in the Hamptons. I went to
Speaker 1: a dinner party and she went to meet her friends
Speaker 1: in sag Harbor. So she had a girlfriend staying with us.
Speaker 1: Really lovely girl, really lovely girl. And they had two
Speaker 1: boys that were going to be in the Hampton it's
Speaker 1: not boyfriend, just boy friends. And they met them in
Speaker 1: sag Harbor as kids do, and they walk around. They
Speaker 1: go to the yogurt store, they just walk around. They
Speaker 1: sit on the bench, they go to the pizza place.
Speaker 1: It's great. And then they were like. She's like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be here anywhere. She called me. She goes,
Speaker 1: I want to Like, we did it. They had had
Speaker 1: dinner at a taco restaurant. Then they did it. Can
Speaker 1: I bring them back to the house. Now we live
Speaker 1: on the beach. My daughter's really proud, she's proud of
Speaker 1: her house. She's excited. She's at an age, you know,
Speaker 1: where they're first getting social. And she said, can I
Speaker 1: bring them back to the house. My first instinct, I'm
Speaker 1: at a dinner party that night. I was smart enough.
Speaker 1: My driver from the city had brought Brinn out because
Speaker 1: she was with her dads, and I made a new
Speaker 1: rule that like he would be here the whole day
Speaker 1: because the schedule is not the same back home, not
Speaker 1: the eaedy to be in my staffing schedule, but that
Speaker 1: he would be at the whole day in case she
Speaker 1: needed any rides, because I don't really want her to
Speaker 1: get into an uber, you know, even though ubers are
Speaker 1: safe and I've had great experiences and it's a great
Speaker 1: tool that I use, I'd rather him drive her, and
Speaker 1: it's also can be expensive and great. So he was around,
Speaker 1: so I thought to myself, I said, well not alone.
Speaker 1: I was like I was at the dinner party. I
Speaker 1: was presented with her wanting to go back to the
Speaker 1: house with her friends, and my first instinct was no,
Speaker 1: Like you have a friend saying you went into sag Harbor,
Speaker 1: you visited, and by the way, no would have been
Speaker 1: a perfectly good answer. But she's a really good kid,
Speaker 1: and she has to go to camp. We've never done camp.
Speaker 1: We've never done nanny. So like she's out here with me,
Speaker 1: like right now, I'm doing the podcast and she's been
Speaker 1: sitting around. We're going to go on the boat at three,
Speaker 1: So no one's crying for her, but like it's not
Speaker 1: the summer of all day, every day activities and she's
Speaker 1: such a good kid. And I'm like, uh, I go, no,
Speaker 1: she said why, I said, I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't have a good reason. I was at the dinner,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, I don't want to deal with this
Speaker 1: right now, brit, I don't know. Just go home and
Speaker 1: go with your friend. But Mom, why, And she wasn't
Speaker 1: being rude or antagonistic, She's like why, Like literally, why
Speaker 1: I go? I don't know why. I don't have a
Speaker 1: good reason why. I don't know why. I just don't
Speaker 1: like this. I don't want to be in the stage.
Speaker 1: I want you to go into the stroller right now.
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with this. What do I do?
Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, problem solver, I am. So
Speaker 1: I call Emelio, my driver who was with me. So
Speaker 1: I said, okay, here's what I want you to do.
Speaker 1: I want you to pick up the girls in sag
Speaker 1: Harbor and the boys. And I knew that the boys
Speaker 1: were all the way in Mantak and it's they're a problem.
Speaker 1: They're going to get themselves home. They knew about it.
Speaker 1: I knew this would be a problem, but whatever, So
Speaker 1: I said, cause I don't want it to be that,
Speaker 1: like it's always me. And now my driver's gonna have
Speaker 1: to go from Southampton all the way back to man
Speaker 1: Talk to bring these boys home two and a half
Speaker 1: hours out of his way, because I'm very respectful of
Speaker 1: everyone's time and i just don't waste people's time. And
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that to him, even though
Speaker 1: he offered. So now I was like, so she said, no,
Speaker 1: they're going to get to Ubers. They're fine. I said, okay.
Speaker 1: So I sent Amelia home and I'm like, okay, take
Speaker 1: them all home. Be cool. She wanted to go swimming.
Speaker 1: Let them go in the pool, and like, what time
Speaker 1: do we think is reasonable? Like that this will all
Speaker 1: get shut down. I'm gonna of course. Now my dinner
Speaker 1: party was over for me. I took it to the
Speaker 1: board at the dinner party and everybody. Most people said no,
Speaker 1: but one parent I could tell was like, I mean,
Speaker 1: who cares, what's the difference. I would do it. It's
Speaker 1: the age. Whatever. So he waits while they go in
Speaker 1: the pool. I come home a half hour later, I
Speaker 1: make takeitos and microwave popcorn trying to be cool. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I had that cool food in my
Speaker 1: freezer and the pitcher of waters to make their shure.
Speaker 1: They're all hydrating. They're in the pool like peeked out,
Speaker 1: not to be like the weirdo. And just so they
Speaker 1: were fed and went into my room and I texted
Speaker 1: a million and I We're like, okay, let's say, like
Speaker 1: at ten thirty we figure out what our plan is.
Speaker 1: Where I went to get the fuck out of here.
Speaker 1: We're in the Hampton's it's going to take an hour
Speaker 1: these kids to get home. So then I'm looking at
Speaker 1: him and these were like, all right, ten forty five,
Speaker 1: ten forty five, let's ask like, let's make sure. And
Speaker 1: at ten thirty, just say does everyone have their uber
Speaker 1: plan in order? So ten forty five, we're going to
Speaker 1: shut the program down. They'd been there for like two hours.
Speaker 1: I guess like he's like, yeah, let them hang. And
Speaker 1: I also wanted to get Amelia to the city on time.
Speaker 1: I don't want to waste his time, and so I'm
Speaker 1: trying to take care of everybody. So I know Amelia
Speaker 1: is fairly young, my driver, and so he's like realizing,
Speaker 1: like he was at age not that long ago, and like,
Speaker 1: you know, closer to it than I am. And so
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just don't want to be on. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want this to be a good experience for them,
Speaker 1: because I want the kids at my house. I would
Speaker 1: rather not have them walking around sag Harbor, even though
Speaker 1: it's safe quote unquote, I just don't want my kids
Speaker 1: walking around any ten. I want them locked in a
Speaker 1: prison cell in my basement. So I was like trying
Speaker 1: to be cool, but not too cool. So I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, so then we would decided on ten forty five,
Speaker 1: and of course that meant they were working out of
Speaker 1: the pool Atoll eleven, and then we were working and
Speaker 1: then I was like in my room going to sleep.
Speaker 1: It was silent. Amelia was working with them on what
Speaker 1: the Uber program was going to be home, and he
Speaker 1: ended up there was a big music festival not far
Speaker 1: so he ended up having to drive them to some
Speaker 1: where they could get an Uber and the boys ended
Speaker 1: up leaving like probably like eleven thirty. I mean, those
Speaker 1: kids didn't get on to like twelve thirty. I mean
Speaker 1: I knew they were going in the wrong direction, not
Speaker 1: towards their house. But these kids don't listen and don't
Speaker 1: understand and brin the next day, I was like, right,
Speaker 1: they thought they were going on the way to Montak.
Speaker 1: I'm like, right, I told you this. Who cares whatever.
Speaker 1: So for those parents if their kids came home late,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I don't know how to control everybody. I don't.
Speaker 1: I wanted them out of here by ten thirty, ten
Speaker 1: forty five. So I didn't want to be the cool mom.
Speaker 1: You know, we're all having a rave at my house.
Speaker 1: It's just like this is what went on. The game
Speaker 1: was moving fast and it was like full on. It
Speaker 1: was big girl Panny time, like there was the witching
Speaker 1: hour we're getting into now. I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: like this part. I don't like this space. I think
Speaker 1: I handled myself well. She was lovely. She cleaned up
Speaker 1: by the way backing out. She had a friend this weekend.
Speaker 1: And what I did ahead of the time, I did
Speaker 1: a contract with her. So her first friend this weekend
Speaker 1: at this house. House is new whatever it's got the
Speaker 1: new car smell, I said to her. The following I
Speaker 1: emailed her, I said, Okay, you will make your bed
Speaker 1: every morning, you will clean up after yourself, you won't
Speaker 1: be leaving wet tow on the bed or on the floor.
Speaker 1: You'll go down to the basement if you have a
Speaker 1: bunch of people, because there's like a basement like sort
Speaker 1: of cabana room like versus like trapsing through. You know,
Speaker 1: just like just things you won't leave, like food everywhere,
Speaker 1: like you're gonna clean up after yourself. And she said okay,
Speaker 1: and I go, no, no, no, like you have to like
Speaker 1: sign like you have to in writing on the text
Speaker 1: say yes, agreed. I'm like, because you won't get your
Speaker 1: allowance if not. And she agreed, and she was great,
Speaker 1: Like it was just like a contract. But it's I
Speaker 1: know it sounds crazy. You could say something, but I
Speaker 1: wrote it down. I mean, it wasn't a contract, it
Speaker 1: was a text. But the point is my I wrote one.
Speaker 1: Number one this you'll make your bed every day. Number
Speaker 1: two you'll do this. Number three the wet towels. Things
Speaker 1: you've experienced that you've seen, like oh, no food in
Speaker 1: the bedroom, like I've seen that with like a wrappers
Speaker 1: and everywhere, and there are sometimes aunts in the kitchen
Speaker 1: and I don't want I just was like making rules.
Speaker 1: I made five rules. That was it. She agreed, she
Speaker 1: didn't break one of them, like setting boundaries, being trustworthy,
Speaker 1: but not like getting mad afterwards, like it's in their mind,
Speaker 1: Like I let her know ahead of time what the
Speaker 1: terms were means. It's great. Invite this friend back anytime
Speaker 1: you want. I'm so excited. Invite the boys over. Like
Speaker 1: we figured it out. We have something going here. We
Speaker 1: started on a level of trust. I pulled on my
Speaker 1: big real panties, and I think I checked two good
Speaker 1: boxes this weekend and learned. And so I was thrilled
Speaker 1: with my behavior, her behavior, the boy's behavior. Shout out
Speaker 1: to those boys, moms. Those boys were good. Brince's friend
Speaker 1: was amazing. It was a really successful thing because like
Speaker 1: I'm cool, but like I'm not that cool. I'm not
Speaker 1: the one who's having sixteen kids over. I'm not the
Speaker 1: hockey mom with the chair with the forty seven snacks,
Speaker 1: you know, with a big blowhorn, cheering like I'm not
Speaker 1: every mom, I'm not everything. I'm who I am. I'm
Speaker 1: doing my best. But for me, I'm grading myself an
Speaker 1: a plus on having you know, her friend this weekend,
Speaker 1: which she does all the time. Like that's not a problem.
Speaker 1: You could have a couple of friends, but having the
Speaker 1: boys come, like, I gave myself really good grade. What
Speaker 1: do you think first? That the answer that's the after