1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,040 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one hundred and ninety eight, 11 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,920 Speaker 1: which will be all about our pet peeves. We'll try 12 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: to keep it light and happy, but you know, we 13 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: all have those things that annoy us. But first we 14 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: want to start with some not pet peeve things. This 15 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: is airing in mid May, which is Sarah's birthday week. 16 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: I think it's close to your birthday too, actually know 17 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,960 Speaker 1: that I think. No, I'm in December. Oh just kidding. 18 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: Now everybody knows. I'm actually terror They're in my planner, 19 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,399 Speaker 1: but like I can never promote them when they're in 20 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: your plan or they don't have to be in your head. 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: That's the that's the key thing. I know this because 22 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: I'm looking at the notes that say it's Sarah's birthday 23 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: week right now, so it's also Jasper's birthday week. So 24 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 1: that's one of the rest. That's fun. So what are 25 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: you doing. We're not doing too much. We are. So 26 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,920 Speaker 1: May is this weird month in our family, and I 27 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: always have to like temper my expectations because it contains 28 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,840 Speaker 1: Mother's Day, my birthday, and our anniversary and it's usually 29 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 1: like one week, second week, third week, and like there's 30 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: only so much you can do, and then usually I 31 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: have to, you know, be on call at some point, 32 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: and like, you know, so one of those is gonna 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,400 Speaker 1: get messed up anyway. So we're taking like a little 34 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: mini trip together for our anniversary, so that will be fun. 35 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: So maybe that'll be a double duty kind of a situation. 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: But I also do plan on having like a very relaxing, 37 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: chill day for my birthday. That might evolve a spa 38 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: of some kind, and I'm thinking I will like take 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: myself to a nice outdoor place like maybe the beach, 40 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: depending on the weather, and I just want to try 41 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: to make it very special. My kids will be in 42 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,960 Speaker 1: school because it's a week day. And then I think 43 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: we'll have dinner all together as a family, maybe do 44 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: some fancy takeout or I don't know, something fun. Yeah, 45 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: are you doing it as a retreat? You put a 46 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: note about we may do a retreat episode at some point. 47 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,959 Speaker 1: I am going to count. So one of my goals 48 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,080 Speaker 1: for twenty twenty one was to try to have like 49 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: some sort of retreat day every quintile or five times 50 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: a year. So I'm counting this as my retreat day 51 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,000 Speaker 1: because I do plan to spend it just kind of 52 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: like thinking and writing and you know, relaxing, and that's 53 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: kind of what I wanted a retreat day to be. 54 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: And I am kind of retreat obsessed these days. I 55 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: just think it's such a cool, I don't know concept, 56 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,560 Speaker 1: and life probably needs more retreats if we can fit 57 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:50,920 Speaker 1: them in. Yeah, I agree. I've only taken two sort 58 00:02:50,919 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: of what I really think of as retreats, although when 59 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: I put it that way, I mean I've been on 60 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:59,239 Speaker 1: kind of professional things that might have qualified as a 61 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 1: retreat as well. Well. Sometimes when I have finished a 62 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: manuscript of a book and I need sort of concentrated 63 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 1: time to edit it, I'll go somewhere for a couple 64 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: of days so I can really dig into it without 65 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: being interrupted all the time. Like with the dog barking 66 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: right now, that's a new thing for the our listeners 67 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 1: who don't know my family got a dog, because why 68 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: not add that to the mix. But yeah, so I've 69 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: done that with the Courtland boya such as a novel 70 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,400 Speaker 1: of mine, and I did it with Off the Clock. 71 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: Both times went places that were less than two hours away. 72 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: So don't burn time traveling when you know you only 73 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: get so much time away. But yeah, you know, consider 74 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: tacking on an extra day or two to a work 75 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: trip as well. That might be a way to get 76 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: some time once people start traveling for work again. But anyway, 77 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: if you want to leave, if you were thinking, hey, 78 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: it's Sarah's birthday, I should give her a birthday gift, 79 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: what could they do, Sarah? You could leave us a review. 80 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: So if you would like to really make my day, 81 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: then one thing you could do is to jump on 82 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts or your podcast app of choice and leave 83 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: us a review or maybe with a comment. That would 84 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: be wonderful. Wonderful, it's not a birthday gift. If that's 85 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: a bad review. That is true. Maybe a birthday gift 86 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: is if you were gonna write a bad review, like, 87 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: don't do it, just don't do it, all right, that's good, 88 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: you can do that. So on to our pet peeves. 89 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: So I looked up the definition of pet peeve because 90 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,720 Speaker 1: you know what is it exactly? And it's a minor 91 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 1: annoyance that an individual finds particularly irritating to them to 92 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: a greater deep degree than would be expected based on 93 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,280 Speaker 1: the experience of others. And I think that part is 94 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: key because we all have our own things that set 95 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: us off, and any of these things are probably whatever 96 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: to somebody else, and in many cases, Sarah and I 97 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: don't have the same ones. So yeah, that's not a 98 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: big deal to me, but you know what, it's your 99 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: thing when it just sort of gets you riled up. 100 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: So Sarah, why don't you start off and we can 101 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,839 Speaker 1: We had sort of just try. You know, we'll comment 102 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: on each other's but I want to hear yours first. 103 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: This was such a fun episode to prepare for, I 104 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: have to say, because it's not some that you just 105 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,920 Speaker 1: like analyze on a daily basis. So I encourage anyone 106 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: inspired by this to think about what their own pet 107 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 1: peeves might be. So my first one is when technology fails, 108 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: and I think that's fairly universal. But I do feel 109 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: like my emotions when a printer like doesn't work are 110 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 1: probably even worse than like average, especially if I'm at 111 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: work and I'm trying to like print labs and it 112 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: just doesn't print, and it doesn't print anywhere, I like 113 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: will run around screaming like I I just feel like 114 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 1: in this day and age, like you know, we can 115 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: do heart transplants, and we can make a COVID vaccine 116 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: and like a matter of months, but we can't get 117 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: the printer to print. Like really, okay, you hear it 118 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: in my voice? I I yeah, printing especially is like 119 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: where my I have no tolerance and it's so bad. 120 00:05:44,279 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: Why it's still so bad? I don't know. It's my 121 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: first one, I mean, and mine's like my home printer. 122 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: I was still it's bad. I mean I have to 123 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: switch to a different network to use the printer, and 124 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: I just like why, like why does it not send 125 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: over my existing Wi Fi to the printer. I have 126 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,599 Speaker 1: to switch to the printer's network in order to do it. 127 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: I'm sure there is a solution which I haven't read 128 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: the manual, which is what the they tell you to do. 129 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: But the manual seems big and boring, and I wouldn't 130 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:16,239 Speaker 1: really want to do that. Yeah, I have this weird 131 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: I don't know if it rises to a pet peeve 132 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: because I'm living with it. Like I haven't brought my 133 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: car to the mean I need to soon for something else. 134 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 1: But new cars. Not new cars, but like anyone that 135 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: was made after let's say, you know, two thousand has 136 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: very computer focused innards, right, so before that, it's like 137 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: it just you know, is mechanical. Like these things happen 138 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: because something's in a certain place. So mine is after that, 139 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 1: of course, but it's still old and so it's falling 140 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: apart in ways with the computer glitching and so. Particular 141 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 1: thing is that every time I turn on the car, 142 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 1: the mirrors go to the wrong place, and I can't 143 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,359 Speaker 1: get them to stay where I want them for me 144 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: so I can see, and so I have to reset 145 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: it every time when I'm I'm going. Now, this is 146 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: something that wouldn't happen, was like a nineteen ninety car, 147 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: because the mirror would obviously stay where you put them 148 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: because there's nothing telling them to go anywhere else, but 149 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: because it's an old new car, the glitch is such 150 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: that it just goes in the wrong place. And I'm 151 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: you know, I hate when technology feels like that, all right, 152 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,520 Speaker 1: Next one, Well, I thought about my you know, going 153 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: for the pet and pet peeves when it's like, okay, 154 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: most people really wouldn't care. I hate when my pens 155 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: much And listeners of vest Laid Plans are like, yes, 156 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: we know you talk about it all the time, and 157 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,240 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but not everybody listens to that podcast too, 158 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: although maybe you should try it. You should, but yeah, 159 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: I'm very picky about that. And so I'm picky about 160 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: different types of paper, going with different types of pens. 161 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: And this is in part a left handed thing. But 162 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: nothing makes me like disproportionately unhappy or like unreasonably unhappy. 163 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: Then when I'm taking notes on something and I realize 164 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 1: I have like a bunch of pen all over my 165 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:59,600 Speaker 1: hand and the page looks disgusting. So yeah, because if 166 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,760 Speaker 1: you're left hand and you're writing in English, going you know, 167 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 1: left to right, your hand is trailing over the ink, 168 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: so that will will smudge it if it's But what 169 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: would make it not smudge I'm very curious, Like it's 170 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: just that it instant dries or it's a certain thing. Yeah, 171 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: I mean different paper types and different pen types are 172 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,920 Speaker 1: much better than others. So if you have a very 173 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: wet gel pen and a very smooth page, it's going 174 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: to be a giant smear, but certain if paper has 175 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: a little bit more tooth and a dryer feel, or 176 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: maybe you like choose your gel pen carefully, like I 177 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 1: really love the pen tel energel Clena, as we've discussed 178 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,480 Speaker 1: before on an episode. It's one of my loves of 179 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 1: the week previously. So different pens definitely have different smudge 180 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: tendencies based on the paper, And if you want to 181 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 1: learn more about that, you can listen to my other podcast, 182 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: because I'm sure I talk about it more than necessary there. Anyway, 183 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,200 Speaker 1: I just hate crappy pens, but you know that's that's 184 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,839 Speaker 1: probably more universal, all right, Next one, Sarah, So this 185 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 1: one is huge, and my husband says, I'm maybe like 186 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: over sensitive to this one, but I don't know how 187 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 1: to fix it. And that's just when things when people 188 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,199 Speaker 1: make things more urgent than they need to be, And 189 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: I'm especially sensitive to when somebody chooses a method of 190 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: communication that causes an interruption when there was no need 191 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 1: for an interruption. So for example, obviously I have to 192 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: keep things anonymous, but somebody sent me like a what's 193 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 1: up message about something that I think was like sort 194 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 1: of like distressing them. But it also was kind of 195 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: clear from that what's up message that they didn't really 196 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: want to talk about it until Monday. But it was 197 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 1: on Saturday afternoon, and I'm like, Uh, if you're going 198 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: to send me a what's up message airing your feelings 199 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 1: on Saturday afternoon, then I guess we have to chat 200 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: on Saturday afternoon because I don't need to ruin my 201 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 1: weekend like thinking about your thing. So I call them 202 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:51,320 Speaker 1: and they didn't answer, and we did finally have a 203 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,840 Speaker 1: discussion on Monday. But there was literally no reason in 204 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: the world why it couldn't have been an email that 205 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: I saw on Monday, other than maybe that person in 206 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:03,439 Speaker 1: this case being purposely aggressive. Now in other cases, I 207 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,840 Speaker 1: think it's more inadvertent. I have had a resident text 208 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,920 Speaker 1: me at midnight about like a like a research project 209 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: about something completely like non urgent, and I was like, why, 210 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 1: Like I think for some people, I don't think that 211 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: person thought through it. I think it was just sort 212 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 1: of like, dada, I'm working really hard. I have a 213 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,719 Speaker 1: question about who to ask about this statistical analysis. I'm 214 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,200 Speaker 1: just going to send a text right now, but like 215 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: I can't do that. So did they just assume you 216 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: have your phone off overnight or something. I guess I 217 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 1: don't know what they assumed, and I don't want to complete. 218 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: You know, this person was apologetic, and I was just 219 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: sort of like, just make sure you think about Like 220 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: we're happy to help you if something's urgent in the 221 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,440 Speaker 1: middle of the night, but if it's something that can wait, 222 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: please email because I'm really good about responding, or even 223 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: text me in the morning if it's like you're really 224 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 1: really worried. But this was like a non non clinical, 225 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,319 Speaker 1: non urgent thing. So I don't know, but I guess 226 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: those are extreme examples, but there are many kind of 227 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: middling examples, and I just think I'm really careful about 228 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,880 Speaker 1: like somehows, I'll I want to text you, Laura, and 229 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: then I'm like, no, just send an email like that's 230 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: too annoying, and then sometimes text you anyway. See, it's 231 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: not a pet pee for me. You can text me 232 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: whenever you want me I turned my phone off overnight, 233 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 1: so I'm not going to get a text that shows 234 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: up between like ten thirty and six thirty anyway. So 235 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, you feel free. Well that's good. 236 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,280 Speaker 1: That's good. That's the nature of a pet peeve, right, 237 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: Like that's some pet peeve. That's why I think it 238 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 1: is which I'm concerned, like, oh god, it better not 239 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: ever text, Sarah, No, I have never so and fun fact, 240 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: if someone has woken me up via texting too many times, 241 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: then I put them on hide alerts. So how that works. 242 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 1: You are not on hide alerts, So that means you've 243 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 1: been fine. I've been fine. I've behaved myself. That's good. 244 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm glad to know that I have behaved myself. Your 245 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 1: next one is somewhat related, I think, I think, Sarah, well, 246 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,760 Speaker 1: it's my pet peeve too, when people waste your time, 247 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: but yes, go for it. Oh well, see, yours is 248 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: a little different. I feel like mine is more like 249 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: I hate when I have a meeting. If I go 250 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: to a meeting where the sole purpose is for somebody 251 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:58,680 Speaker 1: to like read a list of rules that they then 252 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: like send out later, I just don't know why the 253 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 1: meeting has to happen. If there's a meeting, the purpose 254 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: should be to have some sort of back and forth discussion. Otherwise, 255 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,080 Speaker 1: why do we all need to gather at the synchronous time. 256 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: Couldn't we all like read this stuff later? Or I 257 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: don't know. And I also just I'm so sad when 258 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,760 Speaker 1: there is a meeting and productive things are discussed. But 259 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: then like, sometimes it's not a meaning that I'm running, 260 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: so I can't really like corral everybody and say, like, 261 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 1: what are the action items here? But if nobody ever 262 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: says it, then sometimes it's very unclear as to what 263 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: next steps are. And then I just feel like a 264 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,559 Speaker 1: lot of that effort can be wasted. So I try 265 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: really hard. I don't think I'm perfect, but to like, 266 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,800 Speaker 1: at the end of a meeting, if I'm running it, 267 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,440 Speaker 1: I summarize, we're gonna do this, We're gonna do this, 268 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to do this, You're gonna do this, and 269 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,199 Speaker 1: our next meeting is this. Then I feel like there 270 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 1: was a reason to meet. Yeah, that's something changed in 271 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 1: the world as a result of your meeting, right, as 272 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 1: opposed to nothing changing in the world, in which case 273 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,880 Speaker 1: it was something of a waste of time. Yeah, I 274 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: feel like there should be people should learn how to 275 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,280 Speaker 1: run a meeting if they are ever going to run 276 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,840 Speaker 1: a meeting. I mean, this just seems like a skill 277 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: that is, I don't know, like putting gas in your car. 278 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,880 Speaker 1: You should learn how to do it. You're nobody ever 279 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: does teach that, though that's a fascinating or at least 280 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not in a traditional business. Maybe in 281 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,640 Speaker 1: like other fields, people do get some sort of instruction 282 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 1: in how to run a meeting. I don't know that 283 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,000 Speaker 1: they do. I mean maybe some companies, like Listeners, if 284 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: you work at a company where new managers get actual 285 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 1: training on how to run an effective meeting, let us know, 286 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,840 Speaker 1: because we would love to do a shout out for 287 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: places that are that are doing this well. But yeah, 288 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people are just sort of 289 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: flying by the seat of their pants and they get 290 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: everyone in the seat and they're like, let's discuss. I'm like, 291 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,640 Speaker 1: oh my god, this is the worst way to approach this. Ever, 292 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: so I think a great future episode topic would be 293 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,640 Speaker 1: how to run an awesome meeting. So actually, I would 294 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: even extend further that if that is something you are 295 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,959 Speaker 1: really good at and want to teach us. All then 296 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: that would be wonderful. Let's take a quick break because 297 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,319 Speaker 1: we are at that time in our episode, and we 298 00:13:56,320 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 1: will be right back with some more peeves. All right, well, 299 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: we are back talking about our pet peeves. We're getting 300 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: very excited. We actually had to stop the recording at 301 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: one point because Sarah was so excited about something that 302 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: she knocked her microphone off. That's what happens when you 303 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:28,240 Speaker 1: discuss things that are making you irritated. But yeah, so 304 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: another technology fail there. So your next one, though, has 305 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: more of a family element to it. Yeah, this one's 306 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: probably maybe not pet this is universal, probably, but it 307 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: makes me so livid when my kids get up significantly 308 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: earlier on weekends than they knew during the week I 309 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: just find it so disheartening and depressing, Like I normally 310 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,720 Speaker 1: have to drag them out of bed at around six 311 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,720 Speaker 1: fifty for school. I mean today it was literally like 312 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 1: I had to drag somebody out of her room. And 313 00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 1: on the weekends a lot of times at six twenty, 314 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: literally all three are bounding out, And I guess it 315 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: could be so much worse, like generally it's not in 316 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: the five hour and I'm very thankful for that, because 317 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: I know in some families it is, but I still 318 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,240 Speaker 1: don't get it, Like, clearly you're tired, Like if you 319 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: are tired of the weekdays, you can catch up on 320 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,720 Speaker 1: weekends like adults do, right or not? Yeah, No, it's like, 321 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 1: but the weekend is like, you know, well, the equivalent 322 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,480 Speaker 1: of Christmas morning. It's like, hey, it's exciting, I want 323 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,160 Speaker 1: to get up for this as whereas whereas school is 324 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: just you know, not so much. So bed seems better 325 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: on those mornings, I guess. I guess that's part of it. 326 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,400 Speaker 1: And it doesn't help that they're still all in the 327 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: same room. So I'm sure once one is up, they're 328 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: like it's Saturday, and then they wake up with the 329 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 1: others up. Yeah, we can get up. Let's go see 330 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,160 Speaker 1: what our parents are up to. No, they don't want 331 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: to see you. No later, maybe later, all right? I 332 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: think are those mine? I think that's it for mine, 333 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: except for our bonus, which will get our bonus. We'll 334 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: get to it. I'll wait. Wait, I bet some of 335 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: these maybe yours too, maybe not pet peeves. But okay, 336 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,400 Speaker 1: so this is my grammar nerd hat here, but where 337 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: there are certain misused words, very commonly misused words. I'm 338 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: sorry if anyone has cover commented this on my blog 339 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 1: or Sarah's log, But when you agree with something, the 340 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: phrase is not I resonated with that, It is that 341 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: this resonated with me. Unfortunately, for people's use of luggage resonated, 342 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: it has to be that version of the verb, the 343 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: direction it goes. So that's great that something resonated with you, 344 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: but you did not resonate with it. Also, lose and loose, 345 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: so when you lose something, it has one o. If 346 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: a dog is on the loose, it has two o's. 347 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,560 Speaker 1: It is not the same word. And that's another one 348 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: that drives me absolutely nuts. Also, it is fine to 349 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: give somebody something, you don't need to gift it to them. 350 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: Give is a perfectly fine verb. We don't need to 351 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: noun the verb or verb the noun. I guess, as 352 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: the case maybe and turn things that are actually perfectly 353 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: usable words into different words that are not the right word. 354 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: So that's another one. Although jargon and acronyms in general, 355 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: like even people throw around, you know, acronyms for something 356 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,359 Speaker 1: that other people might not know what it means. You know, 357 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 1: I guess that's a hard judgment call sometimes, but there 358 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 1: are babies born every day who don't know what that 359 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 1: acronym is. So in general, we want to say what 360 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,040 Speaker 1: it is that in the first use in any general 361 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: writing or conversation. Do you have any grammar ones that 362 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 1: you or does that just not bug you? It doesn't, 363 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,640 Speaker 1: But I mean I just am like, aw like poor thing, 364 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 1: Like I don't think I get the same visceral of uh. 365 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: But again that's what a pet peeve is and that's okay. 366 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: I I yeah, I'm more just some like, although I 367 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: feel like it's very funny when it's in. My sister 368 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,160 Speaker 1: sent me like a sign and it said like, don't 369 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: walk past my store past pass jeez, I don't walk 370 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,040 Speaker 1: past like okay, Well, I mean store signage definitely needs 371 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: to be proof read like it. But I more think 372 00:17:56,640 --> 00:18:01,919 Speaker 1: it's amusing than irritating, that's true, I mean versus irritating. Yes, okay, Well, 373 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 1: that's the definition of a pet beave is when it's 374 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 1: exactly and you are allowed to have it, allowed to 375 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: have it. Another one for me is movies playing in 376 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: the background anywhere, so even television, like okay, if you're 377 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: in a sports bar and there's sports playing on the TV. 378 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 1: Like that is totally understandable. That is the nature of 379 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: the place. But if there's like you're in a doctor's 380 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,800 Speaker 1: office and there are children's movies with even like violent scenes, 381 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,119 Speaker 1: like a lot of these Disney movies have violent scenes 382 00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: in them, for instance, Right, I guess, so this is 383 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,159 Speaker 1: funny because this one, I'm like, I tend to be 384 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: a kind of whatever. The opposite of ADHD is like 385 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: I have that, like I will tune out anything except 386 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,360 Speaker 1: for what I feel like I want to be tuning in, 387 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,439 Speaker 1: especially in a public so I would never notice, like 388 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,639 Speaker 1: my family would vouch for that, Like you could there 389 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: could be like a body being ripped apart. There could 390 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 1: probably be like a like a gunman in the corner, 391 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,639 Speaker 1: and I probably wouldn't notice that either. Like, so this 392 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 1: one is not a pet pavee for me because I just, 393 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: you don't know, notice wouldn't So, I mean, I've on 394 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: some long haul bus routes at various points in my 395 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: life where they just show a movie and they think 396 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: that's like a benefit to their riders. I'm like, actually, 397 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: that made this like ten times less pleasant than it 398 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: would have been for me. Like it if I'm in 399 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: a waiting room that's got a TV going, It makes 400 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: the weight so much less pleasant than if the TV 401 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,119 Speaker 1: were not going. And I feel like in this day 402 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:21,120 Speaker 1: and age, people can bring their own entertainment, Like why 403 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 1: do you need the television up on the wall, Like, 404 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,919 Speaker 1: I just don't even understand. People can look at their 405 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,680 Speaker 1: own phones if they want to watch a video, they can, 406 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: you know, put an earbed in their ear and have 407 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: what open to listen to, you know, if they're being 408 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 1: called like, this is not a problem you need to solve. 409 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 1: I mean, the place where I got my ultrasounds done 410 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,200 Speaker 1: with my pregnancy is like they always had the TV going, 411 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 1: and then they also had long waits, and so I 412 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,600 Speaker 1: like by the time I got in, I was always 413 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 1: just like, I'm surprised my baby isn't like kicking like 414 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: crazy because I'm so mad right now going in. I 415 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: feel like there's less waiting in waiting rooms now that's 416 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 1: tr covids, So at least this one can be a 417 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: little bit alleviated. You can just hang out in your 418 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,120 Speaker 1: cart the car. I think it's nicer anyway. Yeah, don't 419 00:19:56,119 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: have rank my air conditioner exactly. Yeah, dogs off leash 420 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: in places where they are supposed to be on leash. Now, 421 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: I know that there are all sorts of pet lovers 422 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: out there who you know, okay, like I maybe your 423 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,959 Speaker 1: dog is able to, you know, drop a high value 424 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,480 Speaker 1: treat on your command like a hundred times in a row, 425 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,000 Speaker 1: and that is how well trained they are and hence 426 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:23,200 Speaker 1: they don't have to be on leashes everywhere. But most 427 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: dogs are not that. And I can say this as 428 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: somebody who runs on trails around here, and I will 429 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: encounter dogs that their owners have let them go like 430 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,399 Speaker 1: one hundred yards ahead of them, and I'm like, I 431 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: feel like this is not safe for the dog as 432 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: well as annoying for me because I'm getting like barked 433 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,439 Speaker 1: at and jumped on by you know, dogs like to 434 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,240 Speaker 1: chase things that run. That's just what they do. That's 435 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: part of being a dog, right, and so it's just 436 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,879 Speaker 1: really really annoys me. And I am now a dog owner, like, 437 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 1: and my dog will be I mean, we don't take 438 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: him out much because he's still a puppy, but you know, 439 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: we'll be on the leash everywhere he's supposed to be 440 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,919 Speaker 1: on leash. I think, I mean partly some people just 441 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,439 Speaker 1: state leash laws don't apply to them, and that's a 442 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 1: whole different matter. Our township does have a few off 443 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 1: leash trails, but it is off leash with very specific 444 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,000 Speaker 1: things like between the hours of six and nine am, 445 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: you have to have a permit, you can only have 446 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 1: two dogs, they have to be within a certain radius 447 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:21,239 Speaker 1: of you. But I think this sheer existence of an 448 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 1: off leash trail has convinced some people that they are 449 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 1: all off leash trails and there are no rules about it. 450 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: I don't know. Oh, I'm so with you on this one. 451 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,719 Speaker 1: It makes me livid, and I I mean, I've actually 452 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: had there's like a little teenager that was like walking 453 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: her dog around my neighborhood without any leash. And this 454 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,159 Speaker 1: was like a mid sized dog and she's like, it's okay, 455 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,160 Speaker 1: she's nice. I love when that's there. I'm like, well, how, 456 00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 1: first of all, I don't know that. Second of all, 457 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 1: like maybe she's nice most of the time, but maybe 458 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: she doesn't like my scent or whatever, and she just 459 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: starts to go hi through me. Who knows. Third of all, 460 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: it's for her own safety too, because she could get 461 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: hit by a car or like another not nice dog 462 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,600 Speaker 1: could come at her and then you wouldn't have any 463 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,480 Speaker 1: So I was like, no, there's rules, and also it's 464 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 1: for your dog's own safety, and she like glared at me, 465 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 1: a little fifteen year old. Anyway, Yes, I believe people 466 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 1: should follow leash laws. That is, that shouldn't really be 467 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 1: like controversial. It actually is a rule, like a law. 468 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, but there's all sorts of 469 00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:21,120 Speaker 1: people who feel various rules don't apply to them. But anyway, 470 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: another one is sort of particularly in my field, but 471 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,439 Speaker 1: articles on work life balance, essays on work life balance 472 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:30,679 Speaker 1: in general that start with some sort of horror story 473 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 1: that is supposed to be indicative of why this person 474 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 1: had to change something or another. And this is just 475 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: the format of narratives in general, right, you know, somebody 476 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: hits rock bottom and then they have to come up 477 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 1: with a solution to come out of this rock bottom moment, 478 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: this epiphany, this turning point. So I get it. I 479 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 1: get that there is a narrative structure that demands that 480 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: sort of thing, but oh my god, this is such 481 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: a cliched kind of thing. Like I had to work, 482 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,720 Speaker 1: you know, I missed the softball game because my flight 483 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: was delayed. It's like, well, okay, fine, but like maybe 484 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 1: you missed a softball game, like I have all the 485 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,199 Speaker 1: time because I'm at another kid's baseball game right, Like 486 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,920 Speaker 1: it's there's no dark turning dark moment of the soul 487 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: inherent in that. Or you know I was in three 488 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: countries in twenty four hours. It's like, well, okay, I've 489 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 1: seen my husband do four countries in forty eight hours, 490 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,800 Speaker 1: and you didn't quit his job coming out of that. 491 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: Like you can tell yourself whatever you want right as 492 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: a narrative thing, and usually it's just the person's trying 493 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:29,720 Speaker 1: to justify a certain action or create a story where 494 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: the idea is, oh, it was inevitable that this choice 495 00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:34,199 Speaker 1: must have been made as a result of this, But 496 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: almost universally that is not the case, Like you know 497 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: you had a crap day? Great like such as the 498 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:45,280 Speaker 1: human condition. I mean, I don't know if I'm guilty 499 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 1: of this, Like if I write about how stars well, 500 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 1: I wrote that essay six times, like just lev me 501 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: go link to that on my blog. I mean, I 502 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,080 Speaker 1: did write recently about a very bad day. But then 503 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,680 Speaker 1: you're right, I didn't like say, and thus I put 504 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: one of my children up for adoption, like there was 505 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:04,399 Speaker 1: exactly there wasn't like an end to the And you're right. 506 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,560 Speaker 1: I think sometimes people are so tempted to be like 507 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: to put causal links together or yes, to tell some 508 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,879 Speaker 1: complete story, when it's not. It can just be you 509 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,919 Speaker 1: can talk about your hideous weekend without there being like 510 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,320 Speaker 1: a big punchline too. Yeah. Well, and this is the 511 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,280 Speaker 1: problem of writing a lot of personal essays, because I 512 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,959 Speaker 1: know there's sort of like you have to come up 513 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,400 Speaker 1: with some sort of epiphany because that is where the 514 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 1: crux of an essay is. And so it's sort of 515 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: funny to me that because there are people whose careers 516 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,639 Speaker 1: I've followed for years, I mean, they've written hundreds of essays, 517 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, how many life changing epiphanies can one 518 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,440 Speaker 1: person have? I just don't know. I mean, my life 519 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: doesn't change every day. Maybe other peoples do, but like, 520 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,360 Speaker 1: I don't have a life changing epiphany on frequent enough 521 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 1: schedule to maintain that level of personal essay writing. But 522 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 1: if that's your job, I mean, oh my goodness, I 523 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: guess you're just going to have to learn new things 524 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 1: every day that are profound in some way or another. 525 00:24:53,359 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 1: And to credit you none of your books follow that 526 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,919 Speaker 1: arc in any way, shape or form. So I was 527 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,199 Speaker 1: just thinking about how a lot of a lot of 528 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: personal development books do like to start with some dramatic 529 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 1: story that taught them, yeah, some deep truth. But well, 530 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 1: and I know how she doesn't even tweak it. I 531 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: make fun of it at the beginning, Like I talk 532 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 1: about my two you know, two little like horror story 533 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 1: things that could be like, if this were a certain 534 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,199 Speaker 1: sort of book, I would start with this tale, but 535 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: it isn't because in both of these cases it was whatever. 536 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 1: You know, it's just a thing like, Yes, I you know, 537 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:28,680 Speaker 1: I can see why that would be a pet peew 538 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 1: for you. Yes, it doesn't bother me as much, but 539 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 1: I get I get that, I totally get that. It's 540 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: also sort of like it's like a it's a little 541 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 1: bit of a cheap trick. Yeah, oh, welcome, imagine that. 542 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,239 Speaker 1: There are various cheap narrative tricks when you when you 543 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 1: could look at how writing is constructed. Okay, this one 544 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,720 Speaker 1: is probably related to the movie thing. But people talking 545 00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: on cell phones loudly in public, I mean, this is 546 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: less of a thing now that I'm not in any 547 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: sort of public transportation but you know, when I would 548 00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: take Amtrak, for instance, to New York or wash I 549 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,439 Speaker 1: could not sit anywhere but the quiet car, And like, 550 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 1: thank goodness that the quiet car exists for people like me, 551 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,639 Speaker 1: because although people talking in the quiet cars like an 552 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,960 Speaker 1: even higher level of pet peeve than the people talking 553 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 1: in the regular cars, not in the quiet car, but yeah, 554 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,920 Speaker 1: because it's just like your noise, your stuff, and you're 555 00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:25,239 Speaker 1: only hearing half of it. So it's even worse, right, 556 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: because you can't just tune out that there's a back 557 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 1: and forth. It's that there's half a conversation, so there's 558 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 1: like this missing element. I lack that ability. You have 559 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 1: to tune it out. I either tune it out or 560 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,359 Speaker 1: I like try to listen and hear both sides if 561 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: you listen real close, because then it's kind of like juicy. 562 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,000 Speaker 1: But also I'm not they're not terribly bothered by it. 563 00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,879 Speaker 1: My husband would be very bothered by it, though, So 564 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: maybe this is like an introvert introvert extrovert thing might be. 565 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,360 Speaker 1: And there was a recent discussion of this very thing 566 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,680 Speaker 1: on No Stupid Questions, which you know I'm obsessed with. 567 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: That's the podcast with Stephen Dubner and Angela Duckworth. Apparently 568 00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,960 Speaker 1: there's this human nature thing where if you hear how 569 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: of a conversation, your brain can't help, but like try 570 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: to create like the other side. And apparently a lot 571 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:08,439 Speaker 1: of people find that very distracting because you're trying to 572 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: like make up the other side. Yeah. I have not 573 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 1: noticed that myself. Yeah. And so then the question is, well, 574 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,880 Speaker 1: what do I listen to to tune it out? Because 575 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,479 Speaker 1: I bring my headphones right like I can bring you know, 576 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,399 Speaker 1: try and listen to music, but it has to be 577 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: instrumental music because I can't listen to music with words 578 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 1: and read or work because of the same like over 579 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,199 Speaker 1: stimulated inputs into the same problem for like listening to 580 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: the conversation that I can't focus on something else. So 581 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: you know, it's, uh, it's hard, and I know, I 582 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 1: guess that's just the way my brain works. I can't 583 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,359 Speaker 1: have all that that stimulus said, which is a problem 584 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,120 Speaker 1: when I'm living with six other people because they are 585 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,560 Speaker 1: talking over each other all the time. Have you tried 586 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: noise canceling headphones? I have not. But what do you hear? 587 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:52,560 Speaker 1: Then you hear nothing? I mean, what do you hear? 588 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 1: Hear what's in your you hear what's in your headphones, 589 00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,440 Speaker 1: like the Apple AirPod Pro. They're not perfect. They don't 590 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,359 Speaker 1: like completely get rid of the background, but they really 591 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,560 Speaker 1: make the background a lot. But so I can that 592 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 1: you're saying, I could listen to instrumental music, yeah, or 593 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: like relaxing spots or something. Yeah. Interesting, Okay, Oh maybe 594 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,119 Speaker 1: I'll try that. Maybe that'll be on the on the list. 595 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: All right, So now we're into our bonus round. Yeah, 596 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: because I couldn't help myself with this one. So I 597 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 1: really get irritated, probably disproportionately so, but maybe justifiably so. 598 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: If I have a tall medical student, male or resident, 599 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 1: usually med student though, because most of our residents happen 600 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,160 Speaker 1: to be female, because most people going into pediatrics are female. 601 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: Fun fact. But anyway, so sometimes a med student will 602 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: rotate through and it'll be like some six foot tall 603 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,720 Speaker 1: twenty four year old and we walk into the patient 604 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:43,680 Speaker 1: room and all eyes immediately could in good and I'm 605 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: like hey, I'm like I'm the attending and then they're 606 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 1: like oh, but it's like that initial moment, And my 607 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,239 Speaker 1: husband pointed out that some people have it obviously so 608 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: much worse. I mean there are studies about like black 609 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 1: doctors who like will walk into a room and people 610 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: will assume, like their studies that they are service staff 611 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: or something like how horrible, how frustrating. So you know, 612 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:07,959 Speaker 1: it's just like people need to let go of the 613 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: old I mean, pediatricians that are graduating now are overwhelmingly female, 614 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 1: and so like, people need to let go of the 615 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 1: old tropes of what their leaders and doctors used to 616 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:23,120 Speaker 1: look like in the past. Yep, and again I'm saying 617 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: it as somebody who probably doesn't bear the brun of 618 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,480 Speaker 1: how badly this could be. But man, people need to 619 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 1: consciously think about that. I think more because it is 620 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: an unconscious implicit bias thing. But then okay, we have 621 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: to think about it to try to overcome it. Yeah, 622 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,400 Speaker 1: I heard one horror story of that with something similar 623 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,560 Speaker 1: with a black gentleman coming in at the same time 624 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: as the Poland Springs water delivery guy, and basically the 625 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: person assumed that the Poland Springs water delivery guy, the 626 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,040 Speaker 1: person they were meeting with not cool, yeah, like in 627 00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:59,280 Speaker 1: his uniform like pretty clearly delivering the stuff that you know, 628 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: it couldn't be the black guy in the suit. But anyway, 629 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,880 Speaker 1: that's a whole different cannaworms. And yes, you and I 630 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: are not dealing with the worst aspects of that one, 631 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,400 Speaker 1: and I'm sure many of our listeners are, so please 632 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: feel free to write in with your particular experiences of 633 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 1: being treated less than serious because of what you look like. 634 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 1: You know. Similarly, with books, a particular pet peeve is 635 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 1: books that are for a general audience that feature almost 636 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: all male examples. But if your book, and I know 637 00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,720 Speaker 1: this personally features a majority female examples, then it will 638 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: be deemed for women because women is specific. Male is general, 639 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: you know. But there's all sorts of things along these lines, 640 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,320 Speaker 1: like when you know male writers, authors, podcasters, whatever talk 641 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 1: about a relaxing vacation and I know that they have 642 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: small children, I'm like, why is your vacation different from mine? 643 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,880 Speaker 1: Let's see what could the pop possible difference. B I 644 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: don't know. Maybe your wife didn't have a relaxing vacation 645 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: because she was on with the two year old and 646 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,040 Speaker 1: you weren't, and so it was relaxing for you. Anyway, 647 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 1: I'm proud to say that vacations are relaxing for neither 648 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 1: Josh nor me. When we take them with THEE. I 649 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: always appreciate it when people note this. I mean, you know, 650 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 1: I mentioned my that Axios Future newsletter I read, which 651 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: is written by a college friend of mine, and he's 652 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: he was off for a week and he came back, 653 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:34,520 Speaker 1: and the first note in the newsletter said, I'm back 654 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 1: from vacation and now need a vacation from having taken 655 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 1: a vacation with a toddler. Like yep, that's it. So 656 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he was. He was on with the 657 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: toddler for much of the vacation as well. So, yes, 658 00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: things that always give us a little It's like that 659 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,840 Speaker 1: that man on man to his own defense joke we 660 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 1: mentioned in a few episodes ago. Don't make that joke, 661 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,400 Speaker 1: pep peep, Yes, do not make that joke. All right, Well, 662 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,200 Speaker 1: we hope that we haven't been too overwhelmingly negative. We 663 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: are well aware that our lives are very good, and 664 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: we I guess I'm a little worried that people will 665 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: think that we're complaining about life. No, we are. We 666 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 1: are aware of our luck and all kinds of other things. 667 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: But at that said, nothing is perfect, and we just 668 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: thought it would be fun to go through what specifically 669 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 1: triggers us because this might help you explore some of 670 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 1: your own things, and hey, maybe it'll help us to 671 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,280 Speaker 1: come up with some solutions like noise canceling headphones or 672 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: getting getting my mirrors fixed on my car. Right or 673 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 1: they mentioned a man suit. That's true. It's gonna be 674 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,960 Speaker 1: hard to turn Sarah into a six foot tall man, 675 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:45,520 Speaker 1: but it could be a five. All right. So our 676 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:48,200 Speaker 1: love of the week, now that we've gone through all 677 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: those pet paves mine is lobster rolls from the cousin. 678 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:56,280 Speaker 1: Cousin's main lobster food truck. So Sam and I experienced 679 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 1: these at we went to this tulip farm the lobs 680 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: your truck was parked there. We decided to get lobster 681 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: rolls could have it had the longest line. Lines are 682 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,719 Speaker 1: kind of a pet peeve for mine, But if you're 683 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: in a food truck situation and one has much longer 684 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: lines than the other, that's often an indication that it's 685 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: actually better, so you might want to check that one out. 686 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: But they were really good, so we'll probably have lots 687 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,880 Speaker 1: of those this summer. That sounds amazing. Well, I'm going 688 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 1: to use my other one from the prior episode that 689 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 1: I didn't use, which is when my house is completely 690 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:28,600 Speaker 1: empty except for me, and that is like, so it's 691 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 1: been pretty rare because our nanny was helping with drop 692 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: off a lot, so she would be home, so I'm 693 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 1: not complaining about her being home, and of course that's 694 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: great and that's fine. But recently Josh and I have 695 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: been doing more of the drop off ourselves, so she 696 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: comes later. So there's several hours when it's just if 697 00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,719 Speaker 1: I'm working from home, it's just me, and it's like 698 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,719 Speaker 1: so special. I love it is. That is pretty awesome 699 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,920 Speaker 1: and rare. So yes, enjoy it while you have it, 700 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 1: all right, So our question, I'll go ahead and shorten 701 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: this because it was We went back and forth with 702 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,880 Speaker 1: this listener a couple of times, which is great. We 703 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:00,959 Speaker 1: love when we have that when we get more details 704 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 1: about a story. But this particular listener is going through 705 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: a divorce, so her family's household expenses will basically double 706 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,200 Speaker 1: because there will be two households, which is one of 707 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: those unfortunate aspects of divorce, many unfortunate aspects, but that 708 00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: is definitely a practical one that people wind up dealing with. 709 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,000 Speaker 1: So she makes good but not over the top money 710 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,600 Speaker 1: and is struggling to figure out if she should cut 711 00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 1: back on childcare or investing for retirement, or if she 712 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,120 Speaker 1: should try to boost her income, perhaps through a side hustle. 713 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: She has one child, by the way, who is still 714 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,640 Speaker 1: is not school aged yet, so childcare still being an 715 00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 1: aspect that they have to deal with with that Before 716 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:42,000 Speaker 1: we could even answer, she actually wrote back with another 717 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,000 Speaker 1: idea she came up with, which was converting. She's staying 718 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: in the house and she's going to convert their mortgage 719 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,600 Speaker 1: from a fifteen year mortgage to a thirty one, which 720 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: these days is pretty good time for refinancing. Mortgage interest 721 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 1: rates are very low, so particularly if you did buy 722 00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 1: your house, say ten years ago, and have a higher 723 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,520 Speaker 1: straight this could work out great and lower your monthly 724 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,920 Speaker 1: payments by quite a bit. So that is what she 725 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,279 Speaker 1: decided to do. In that freed up some cash right there, 726 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:10,719 Speaker 1: so that was great. But in general, Sarah, like, if 727 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,320 Speaker 1: you're facing this situation, I mean, what would you recommend 728 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,840 Speaker 1: thinking about for when you need to cut back and 729 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: think about finances that way? Well, I think you would 730 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,200 Speaker 1: really need to take a very cut and dry look 731 00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,280 Speaker 1: at what the ins and outs are of your budget. 732 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,360 Speaker 1: So I think that the fact that she did do 733 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:27,920 Speaker 1: that and then got back to us with a solution 734 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: is very telling. So a lot of times you get 735 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:31,640 Speaker 1: in panic mode and you're not able to do that, 736 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,799 Speaker 1: you know, actual like calm analysis, and she figured out 737 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,720 Speaker 1: a great solution. I think thinking about in her case, 738 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 1: the short term, since she's going through this immense, very 739 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,480 Speaker 1: difficult change, is probably a good idea. So, you know, 740 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: while I'm all about saving for the future, I don't 741 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:49,640 Speaker 1: know that this would be like the time to be 742 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,160 Speaker 1: fixated on retirement. I think this might be like get 743 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,319 Speaker 1: through the next few years and then things are going 744 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,719 Speaker 1: to probably kind of fall into place. And I feel 745 00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: like I had one more things secifically about. Oh, the 746 00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: side hustle. I just would be very careful about that, 747 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 1: because some side hustles are more lucrative than others, and 748 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,000 Speaker 1: some can take a disproportional amount of time to what 749 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,359 Speaker 1: you're going to get out of it, and you may 750 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,320 Speaker 1: be better off either trying to advance at work, leaning 751 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,360 Speaker 1: in at work, simply asking for a raise, you know, 752 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:23,839 Speaker 1: doing something else that might get you farther with less sweat. Yeah, 753 00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,720 Speaker 1: totally agree, And I like that she looked beyond the usual, 754 00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:28,920 Speaker 1: you know, like what can I cut back on? To 755 00:36:28,960 --> 00:36:31,960 Speaker 1: think of something that was a more painless way to 756 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,880 Speaker 1: cut back, especially given the low interest rates right now, 757 00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 1: as you mentioned, you know, depending on the situation, moving 758 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 1: can obviously be a possibility as well. The real estate 759 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,879 Speaker 1: market is really hot right now. Maybe they could sell 760 00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,920 Speaker 1: their house for a tidy profit, which would free up 761 00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,680 Speaker 1: money for both of them, I presume if they're splitting 762 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 1: the proceeds from that, of course, then you've got to 763 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,560 Speaker 1: find somewhere else to live that hopefully isn't also quite 764 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,160 Speaker 1: that markup, But that could be an idea. Depending on 765 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: their custody situation, you know, that might be you know, 766 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:06,319 Speaker 1: moving somewhere differently that she could triage that. But yeah, 767 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 1: Also the side hustle is there's a great new episode 768 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,360 Speaker 1: out from How to Money, the How to Money guys 769 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 1: on side. You know, passive income is it a myth? 770 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,359 Speaker 1: Is it possible? Whatever? Because that's always this goal people 771 00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,200 Speaker 1: like oooh, I'd love to make passive income. And basically 772 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: what they say is the best passive income is basically dividends, 773 00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:31,240 Speaker 1: like invest your money in index funds or even dividend 774 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,320 Speaker 1: producing funds. Right, or stocks in particular have a high dividend, 775 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 1: because that is truly passive income. You're also saving up 776 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:40,799 Speaker 1: for a retirement at the same time, you're not having 777 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,760 Speaker 1: to put in all this you know, time and effort 778 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,759 Speaker 1: into building a business or you know, buying real estate 779 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,560 Speaker 1: properties or something written them out, and so that is 780 00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 1: truly passive income in a great way that most of 781 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 1: this other stuff is just not like, yeah, great, start 782 00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:58,400 Speaker 1: a podcast, a blog, whatever. Those are all great ideas, 783 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,040 Speaker 1: but they take a lot of time and effort to 784 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 1: build up, you know that. And particularly in our listener's case, 785 00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,359 Speaker 1: she's going through a divorce, she has a full time job, 786 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,920 Speaker 1: she has a young kid. Like, no, now is not 787 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 1: the time, and I agree with you that realizing that 788 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 1: now is not necessarily going to be indicative of what 789 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: her life is like five years from now. I mean, 790 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 1: maybe you know, she will be on her own for then, 791 00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,800 Speaker 1: and she will if she's kept her ability to keep working, 792 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:28,760 Speaker 1: you know, invested in the childcare and you know, focused 793 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:31,680 Speaker 1: at work, she could have grown her salary. At that point, 794 00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: she could be in a higher level, maybe at a 795 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,799 Speaker 1: different company that pays more in the same industry. Those 796 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,360 Speaker 1: are all great ideas. She may also wind up, you know, 797 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:41,040 Speaker 1: remarrying at some point with somebody else who is also 798 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: earning an income, and then their financial situation will be 799 00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,359 Speaker 1: very different as well too. I mean, these are all 800 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: things we just don't know about the future. But there's 801 00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: a high probability that you're at this low moment right 802 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,239 Speaker 1: now and things will be better in the future. So yeah, 803 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: make sure that now is doable, and so don't cut 804 00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 1: back on anything that will make now worse. What would say, 805 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 1: all right, well, this has been our pet Peeve issue, 806 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,400 Speaker 1: our episode I guess issue. I'm in magazine mode. Have 807 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 1: you ever seen a Pet Peeve magazine? I don't know, 808 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,880 Speaker 1: that would be I probably read it. Oh yeah, But 809 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: we'll be back next week with more on making work 810 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:20,560 Speaker 1: and life fit together. Thanks for listening. You can find 811 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: me Sarah at the shoebox dot com or at the 812 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:28,240 Speaker 1: Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can find me Laura 813 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,960 Speaker 1: at Laura vandercam dot com. This has been the best 814 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,520 Speaker 1: of both worlds podcasts. Please join us next time for 815 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,000 Speaker 1: more on making work and life work together.