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Speaker 1: I'm a big taro girl. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I historically have sometimes used it when I'm like down bad,

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Speaker 2: but recently have been using it like for fun, like

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Speaker 2: just as like a way to connect with people and

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Speaker 2: be social. Okay, I'm like, yeah, so what do is

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Speaker 2: there anything? I mean, I'm assuming we want to know.

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Speaker 2: I'm assuming you want to know about love?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Sure, tell me. That's not just any Tara reader.

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Speaker 1: That's singer, songwriter and my sweet friend Jensen McCrae. Last week,

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Speaker 1: she came into the studio to chat about dating and

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Speaker 1: relationships and apparently tell me what's in the cards for

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Speaker 1: my love life. I love how you're shuffling, shuffling, shuffling

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Speaker 1: and then pulling.

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Speaker 2: Well you're supposed to kind of in theory, be shuffling

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Speaker 2: and wait for Oh and there she is. Okay, we

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Speaker 2: got one out.

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Speaker 1: So this is the love.

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Speaker 2: We've got the five of Pentacles.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'll say what I see. Okay, we've got one, two, three,

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Speaker 1: four stars. We've got a mother holding a child and

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Speaker 1: it's looking like they are either resting or mourning. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: can I say what I think right now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm ready for love right now. So

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Speaker 1: if that's what this is, that's a good thing. I

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Speaker 1: swear to God. This is what this says.

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Speaker 2: It may seem right now you'll never find the love

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Speaker 2: you are searching for.

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Speaker 1: Walk off, because I said today and last night I said,

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Speaker 1: I do not believe in love at this point in

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Speaker 1: my life. And I know that's stupid to say at

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Speaker 1: twenty nine, but I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna do.

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Speaker 2: It says unfortunately, this attitude can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Okay, chill,

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Speaker 2: and it says, this may be a difficult time, but

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Speaker 2: it's more important than ever to draw close together instead

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Speaker 2: of pulling apart. So I guess, lean on your people,

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Speaker 2: I would say. And also like, this is I think

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Speaker 2: the cards are saying this is not a permanent situation.

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Speaker 2: That's the season you're in right now. Yeah, it's not permanent.

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Speaker 1: And I understand that because I'm like, it's not that

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Speaker 1: I don't believe in love anymore, but I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: it's not in the cards for me right now. That

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Speaker 1: is fascinating.

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Speaker 2: Wow. Okay.

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Speaker 1: In today's episode, Jensen and I invoke the spirits of

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Speaker 1: romance and get into it about our love lives. I'm

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Speaker 1: Hopewitdard and Welcome to Boysover, a space where we're learning

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Speaker 1: and un learning. All the myths were taught about love

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Speaker 1: and relationships. If you're familiar with Jensen McCrae's work, you

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Speaker 1: know it's filled with details of past loves, navy bed sheets,

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Speaker 1: pilgrim ashtrays, trips out East. She's the kind of writer

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Speaker 1: that's not afraid to be specific and vulnerable, which hits

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Speaker 1: me right to my core. In fact, a lot of

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Speaker 1: people connect with her work, probably because it's all about

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Speaker 1: love and heartbreak, the things that we're all navigating. Just

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Speaker 1: this past April, Jensen put out her second album I

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Speaker 1: Don't Know How But They Found Me, and her song

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Speaker 1: Massachusetts was featured in Lena Dunham's new show Too Much.

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Speaker 1: On top of that, Spike Lee recently noticed her talent,

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Speaker 1: commissioning a song for his new film Highest to Lowest

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Speaker 1: and casting her in her acting debut alongside Denzel Washington.

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Speaker 1: Big things are happening for Jensen. Jensen and I have

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Speaker 1: been Internet friends for a while now, connecting over dating

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Speaker 1: stories and what it's like to be public about your

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Speaker 1: love life online. I was so excited to finally get

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Speaker 1: to meet her in person to get deeper into our

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Speaker 1: experiences around dating and relationships. Jensen, Welcome to Boysover. Oh,

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Speaker 1: thank you for having me decided. I feel so lucky

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Speaker 1: that you're here. Oh my god, I'm so happy to

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Speaker 1: seriously thank you. I do want to know like your

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Speaker 1: career highlight up to this point.

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Speaker 2: I mean honestly, Well, as we're recording this, last night,

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Speaker 2: I went to my first movie premiere for my first

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Speaker 2: movie role, and so filming Hi Soloist with Denzel Washington

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Speaker 2: was insane.

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Speaker 1: Talk about meeting heroes.

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Speaker 2: That was really wild.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to see the movie. I hope.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone goes.

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Speaker 1: This is not a promo tour, but everyone, I'm just

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Speaker 1: like claughing in the theater.

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Speaker 2: I just stopped my mom. She's like, my allowed to

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Speaker 2: scream and you come on screen. I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: but she has to. We just held hands. We held hands, Squeze, your.

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Speaker 1: Mom was there with you last night?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And how's your relationship with your mom?

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Speaker 2: We are so close? Okay my best friend.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's inspiring.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I want to ask your parents still together? Yes? Very

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Speaker 1: madly in love? In love? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Did they have a secret my mom would say separate

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Speaker 2: bathrooms and communication. Well, yeah, I mean they I think

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Speaker 2: probably like she's never bored, Like he makes her laugh

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Speaker 2: all the time, and he's just like very eccentric, and

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Speaker 2: I think that helps. Yeah, and they really respect each other.

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Speaker 2: Like my mom was like, no matter what, the person

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Speaker 2: that you're with forever, like you both need to respect

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Speaker 2: each other. To do whatever your job is in the home,

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Speaker 2: whoever's staying home with the kids, if someone's staying home

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Speaker 2: with kids, whoever's going out and making money. If there's

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Speaker 2: one person doing that, whatever your domains are, you have

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Speaker 2: to really respect and trust that person that they can

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Speaker 2: handle it, and like not micromanaging them, not talking down

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Speaker 2: to them, like you have to really trust that they

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Speaker 2: can handle it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds about right. My parents do the opposite.

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Speaker 1: Did they complete offsite in many such cases? Yeah, in

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Speaker 1: many cases.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to ask your type, Oh my type? Right?

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Speaker 2: So unfortunately it is men from New England. No, unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: Massachusetts is not a lie. That's that's just truth.

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Speaker 1: Describe them to me. I've never dated someone from New England.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean the guys that I have liked, like,

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Speaker 2: it's the reason I think I like men from New

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Speaker 2: England is like a quickness, even if they're not highly

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Speaker 2: educated or they didn't care about school, it's like there's

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Speaker 2: just a quickness, there's a wit. And also they tend

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Speaker 2: to talk faster than men from the West Coast. There's

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Speaker 2: a sleepiness about a men from the.

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Speaker 1: West Coast totally.

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Speaker 2: It's like a very sleepy, kind of a relaxed slow vibe. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: and these the men from New England, they can be

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Speaker 2: very chill, but they're yappers and that's what I need.

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Speaker 1: So you like someone funny, yes, okay, and a little

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Speaker 1: bit mean?

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Speaker 2: Yeah well yes, well yes, I think it's like a

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Speaker 2: they're mean, they're not mean to me, and but then

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Speaker 2: eventually they of course turn them than they are.

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Speaker 1: Eventually there's something that we all love about, like dating

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Speaker 1: someone who's mean but only nice to us.

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Speaker 2: Well, here's the crazy part is that like these men.

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Speaker 2: For the most part, they are like the charmer and

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Speaker 2: the beloved of their friend group. But there's like a

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Speaker 2: me and undercurrent. There's something there that's a little bit

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Speaker 2: like snarky with it. The sharpness, yes, yeah, it's the

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Speaker 2: way it's the sharpness. Yeah, I don't know what that

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Speaker 2: is I'm trying to well. I watch Goodwell Hunting at sixteen,

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Speaker 2: and I do think that was part of it, and

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Speaker 2: that was it well because the boy that I was

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Speaker 2: obsessed with when I was sixteen was like, you remind

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Speaker 2: me of Skyler from Goodwell Hunting, and I'd never seen

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Speaker 2: the movie. So I went and watched it and I

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Speaker 2: was like, first of all, that's very good compliment, right,

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Speaker 2: mini drivers everything. And then second of all, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: Matt Damon from Good One Hunting is my husband's beautiful,

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Speaker 2: so good at math, so good at math, but not

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Speaker 2: like a graduate degree.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's what I love.

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Speaker 2: He's showing up the guy in the bar with the master's.

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Speaker 1: He's working class and he's brilliant, and that's what I think.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm looking for. I think that when Ethel

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Speaker 2: Kaine said he looks like he works with his hands

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Speaker 2: and smells like Marlboro reds, yeah, I was like, she

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Speaker 2: got it.

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Speaker 1: No, she always does tell me, like how it is

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Speaker 1: processing your love life through your music and your art.

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Speaker 2: It's definitely it can be a crutch and it can

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Speaker 2: be dangerous because it's very easy to turn your life

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Speaker 2: and especially your love life into content and into art.

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Speaker 2: I do know something about that, Yeah, and so it is.

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Speaker 2: It is something that I've been trying to get better about.

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Speaker 2: It's like being more present in dating and life more generally.

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Speaker 1: But it is, it is.

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Speaker 2: It is a problem, I think, especially with people who

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Speaker 2: are like really sensitive and want to romanticize their lives.

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Speaker 2: It's like we're kind of experiencing life as a story

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Speaker 2: as it's happening, like we're experiencing in retrospect in the present.

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Speaker 1: And I also think so many men like do not

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Speaker 1: often feel perceived. So when you're on a date with

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Speaker 1: them and you're like noticing the way they're like moving

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Speaker 1: their body or they're like talking or whatever, and you're

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Speaker 1: calling them out on it, it's like the first time they're

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Speaker 1: aware of how someone sees them has been no exactly,

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Speaker 1: and there they don't often they're not often performing in

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Speaker 1: the way we are, you know what I mean. Like

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Speaker 1: I feel like women dating men, like we're so often

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Speaker 1: like careful to present in the right way, and they

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Speaker 1: just are themselves, like they don't think about it as.

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Speaker 2: Much, and that's why we're so namored of them because

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Speaker 2: they're not. There's so much that's not performance.

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Speaker 1: You're so right, because I'm like, if I could just

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Speaker 1: be as apathetic as you to perception, where would I be? Yes,

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Speaker 1: you know, I feel like I would be could be anywhere.

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Speaker 1: Does being like a public facing person hurt or help

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Speaker 1: your love life? It? I feel like it mostly helps.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I'm mostly all I'm not gonna lie

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Speaker 2: to you.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I love that answer.

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Speaker 2: I think I mean it hurts in the sense that

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Speaker 2: like there are definitely well no, because like there's people

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Speaker 2: who don't want to be in the public eye. But

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Speaker 2: it's like that doesn't make them not want to be

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Speaker 2: with me. Oh maybe it does, and I just don't

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Speaker 2: know about it. You date your fans, like do you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean? Like if someone's a fan, are

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Speaker 2: you like, oh, it would well like another public figure

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Speaker 2: who's a fan, or like like a private person who's

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Speaker 2: a fan, because many of my situationships have started with

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Speaker 2: another public figure sliding and the dancing. Like, I love

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Speaker 2: your music, and.

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Speaker 1: You know what I wanted to know about your DMS.

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Speaker 1: I would love to I would love to know what's happening.

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Speaker 2: It's a while since I've had the DMS. Happening like

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Speaker 2: I don't. I haven't done a DM that has not

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Speaker 2: been my dating bag recently, but there was definitely, like

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Speaker 2: post my big breakup, there was a couple of moments

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Speaker 2: that led to little situations and it was always flattering.

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Speaker 2: I mean the first time it happened, it was like

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Speaker 2: a guy who I considered kind of a celebrity crush,

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Speaker 2: like I watched his TV show during quarantine.

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Speaker 1: How did you feel when because this has happened to me,

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Speaker 1: and I melted into a puddle and just absolutely loul well.

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Speaker 2: It was like we like kind of had mutual friends.

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Speaker 2: So it was like I wasn't I was surprised that

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Speaker 2: he followed me on Instagram. I was like very giddy,

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Speaker 2: and then I think he followed me and I did

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Speaker 2: this lide like he opened the door and I walked

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Speaker 2: through it. And it was a very short lived thing,

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Speaker 2: but it was like very to go on a date

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Speaker 2: with a man who had been like all through lockdown,

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Speaker 2: like staring at on TV.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, there is you had

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Speaker 1: to tell me afterwards to it Okay, we won't. We

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Speaker 1: won't air it now if he listens to this keel not.

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Speaker 1: How was the date.

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Speaker 2: Well, we went to breakfast, which like girl, what, but

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Speaker 2: like it was he paid, and he was he was

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Speaker 2: really sweet, Like he's very progressive.

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Speaker 1: He was a little weird.

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Speaker 2: But like I think every if I've learned anything from

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Speaker 2: dating all the actors that I've dated is like, they're

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Speaker 2: all really weird.

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Speaker 1: Actors are freaks. They're all a kid. No. Absolutely, every

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Speaker 1: time I see a man on screen and I'm like

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Speaker 1: almost about to have a crush on him, I'm like, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: you must remember that that's a theater kid.

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Speaker 2: And in between takes, by the way, he's doing a

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Speaker 2: fake French accent and pretending to play with the sword,

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Speaker 2: like I promise you because I've seen it.

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Speaker 1: No, right, we need to stay clocked into reality.

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Speaker 2: And it's so funny because like, I like this makes

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Speaker 2: it seem like I'm just like dating celebrities all the time.

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Speaker 1: I'm not.

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Speaker 2: But like I have a friend who I have written

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Speaker 2: some songs with, and she has dated a lot more

250
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Speaker 2: celebrities than me. And every time I like casually mentioned

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Speaker 2: like oh yeah, this guy from this movie is so cute,

252
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Speaker 2: she's like either she dated him or her friend dated him,

253
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Speaker 2: and she's like and here's all the ways he's a weirdo,

254
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Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, crush.

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Speaker 1: Really, I feel like if you're actually really really beyond famous,

256
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Speaker 1: like you're a freak.

257
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Speaker 2: Or you don't even have to be that famous on right,

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Speaker 2: It's just I really do believe in the same way

259
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Speaker 2: that like me and my friends, like we're all like, oh,

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Speaker 2: we're all weird because we're creative. It's like that extends

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Speaker 2: to actors as well, Like they're very creative people and

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Speaker 2: they're like very in touch with tapping into other personas.

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Speaker 2: And I think and that makes you, like, it kind

264
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Speaker 2: of makes you a little disembodied. I have to assume

265
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Speaker 2: like I've not dipped my toe into acting.

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Speaker 1: I don't think of myself as an actor.

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Speaker 2: And to go back to what we're say, like, I

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Speaker 2: think those men are very aware of being perceived. Men

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Speaker 2: who are who are acting on a camera screen, they

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Speaker 2: are very aware of being perceived, and they're definitely very

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Speaker 2: conscious of how they're they're moving their bodies.

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Speaker 1: I want to know about the breakup, of course, tell

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Speaker 1: me about the breakup before people started sliding into your DMS.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I just can't. I asked before, is it

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Speaker 1: like the biggest breakup of your life, you'd just say absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I mean I didn't start dating until I was twenty three,

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Speaker 2: Like I mean, I was going on dates, but I

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Speaker 2: didn't get in my first relationship. So I was twenty three,

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Speaker 2: and so this was my second relationship, and I thought

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Speaker 2: that he was the love of my life.

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Speaker 1: Like your first relationship was at twenty three, your second relationship,

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Speaker 1: which was the biggest one of your life. I was

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Speaker 1: twenty four when that started.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, they were very The first one was almost

285
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Speaker 2: a year, and then only a couple of weeks went

286
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Speaker 2: by and between the first and second. That's why I

287
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Speaker 2: was just crazy, after being a person who had never

288
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Speaker 2: had a boyfriend ever, to then do that.

289
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Speaker 1: I was like, I.

290
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Speaker 2: Was like I was, I was making up for lost time.

291
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Speaker 2: I was like, time to get all of the boyfriends

292
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Speaker 2: in a row. Yeah, I guess, but yeah, I thought

293
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Speaker 2: he was the love of my life, like the beginning

294
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Speaker 2: of it. I mean, the same way it's every it's

295
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Speaker 2: like the beginning. I was like, oh my god, it's perfect.

296
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Speaker 2: He's perfect. I'm perfect. Everything's perfect. I literally remember like

297
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Speaker 2: a week and two when we were dating, I was

298
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Speaker 2: touring and I was like walking through the airport, and

299
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Speaker 2: I was like, the airport is beautiful, Like of course,

300
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Speaker 2: You're like, no, it actually is a movie my life,

301
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Speaker 2: but it was really I felt like my life was movie.

302
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Speaker 2: And yeah, when we broke up, like it was not

303
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Speaker 2: my choice, it was all him. I was completely devastated,

304
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Speaker 2: like completely destroyed. I had just bought him Christmas presents

305
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,000
Speaker 2: out of nowhere, like kind of there was a there.

306
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Speaker 2: He had been being weird for a couple of weeks,

307
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Speaker 2: but we've been dating for like nine months, so I

308
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Speaker 2: was like, Oh, we're having like a little rough patch,

309
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Speaker 2: Like it's just we're having a little rough patch, like

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Speaker 2: I think would have been different if we've been dating

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Speaker 2: for less time, but I was like, we've had this really.

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Speaker 1: Long run of it being amazing, and it was intense.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it was extremely intense because we were also long

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Speaker 2: distance a lot at the time, and so it was

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Speaker 2: like when we were together in the same place, it

316
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,320
Speaker 2: was like we were just so locked on each other.

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Speaker 2: And so he was like, Oh, we're just having like

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Speaker 2: a little rough patch, Like that's no worries. It's only

319
00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,400
Speaker 2: been like two weeks of it being kind of weird.

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Speaker 1: And then how did he do it? How did he

321
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Speaker 1: break up with you, well, I remember, sorry, that's like,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: He came over to my house and I remember that

324
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Speaker 2: he didn't have his overnight bag and I was like,

325
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,280
Speaker 2: something is a miss because he doesn't have his little backpack.

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Speaker 1: I'm pissed, Like immediately, I'm pissed. What do you mean

327
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Speaker 1: you don't have your tooth brush? I was like, where's

328
00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,400
Speaker 1: your little backpacking? And so but I didn't say anything.

329
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Speaker 2: And then we went into my apartment and like, I

330
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,760
Speaker 2: don't even know if there was any small talk. To

331
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Speaker 2: his credit, he did your right to the point. He

332
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:41,800
Speaker 2: just said I have some things to say, and it

333
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,640
Speaker 2: just then nothing. And then I was like, you're breaking

334
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:45,920
Speaker 2: up with me? And then he didn't respond, damn it.

335
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,839
Speaker 1: And you're shocked and you're just like what.

336
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 2: I actually, I was crying so much, and he was

337
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,520
Speaker 2: crying too, but I was crying so much, like I mean,

338
00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,560
Speaker 2: I'm just and ufortunately I didn't like beg like I was.

339
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,400
Speaker 2: I wasn't like don't do this, like don't change your mind,

340
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,760
Speaker 2: like I was like, this is happening. I know it's happening.

341
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,280
Speaker 2: I'm just devastated. And also I remember that when I

342
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,360
Speaker 2: walked him back to his car, and I walked back

343
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,360
Speaker 2: to my apartment. I didn't look back, and I remember

344
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:07,840
Speaker 2: thinking that that was like really powerful of me.

345
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,200
Speaker 1: Was like I didn't look back. But it's like girl

346
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,960
Speaker 1: who cares? He got du no, but thank god he

347
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,200
Speaker 1: lets you go, like he let you lose aged.

348
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:17,959
Speaker 2: It was just I mean, it was most it was

349
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,840
Speaker 2: part of it was well, Okay, the reason he broke

350
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,280
Speaker 2: up with these because he didn't love me anymore. That's

351
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,600
Speaker 2: the reason why people don't. But that's the reason why

352
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:23,360
Speaker 2: people bring up with people.

353
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,840
Speaker 1: That's what you're saying, Like, I don't know if that's true.

354
00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,280
Speaker 1: I had loved me. I think he stopped, but also

355
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,640
Speaker 1: there are different types of love, Like if you just

356
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,880
Speaker 1: stopped loving you in general, that feels incorrect.

357
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,240
Speaker 2: I think he lost feelings. I think that's what happened.

358
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,120
Speaker 2: I think his job was definitely a factor, but also

359
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,480
Speaker 2: the distance we both traveled a lot for more totally

360
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 2: and so that was But I think that if he

361
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,080
Speaker 2: had thought that I was his forever, he would have

362
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,280
Speaker 2: made we would have made it work because I thought

363
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,120
Speaker 2: he was my forever. I yeah, it was a was

364
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,640
Speaker 2: a miracle. I couldn't have I was actually thinking about

365
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,440
Speaker 2: that recently, like my second album, I don't know what

366
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,200
Speaker 2: I like if we had.

367
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,760
Speaker 1: Been together, I'm like, what the hell would I write?

368
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,040
Speaker 2: Totally those writing love songs about him, and I was

369
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,320
Speaker 2: writing songs about the challenges of being in our relationship

370
00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,840
Speaker 2: as well, but like those songs were just okay. I

371
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,640
Speaker 2: the rearranger about him and that was like a beautiful,

372
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,240
Speaker 2: fun song. But I wrote that, Like I listened to

373
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,000
Speaker 2: that song now and it's like really cute. It's like, oh,

374
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,480
Speaker 2: we don't talk about the future, like we're just having fun,

375
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,360
Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's a fun song to write about

376
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,800
Speaker 2: a boy even nating for a month. That's a crazy

377
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 2: song that I wrote about a boy man nay for

378
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 2: eight months almost year. Yeah, I wrote it like towards

379
00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,120
Speaker 2: the end of our relationship, and I'm like, girl, why

380
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 2: that's creaty? That was? That was the red flag.

381
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 1: I love that You're like, I didn't expect the breakup

382
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 1: at all and writing that, but like.

383
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 2: I cause I was so you know, you're so in

384
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,320
Speaker 2: denial when you're like that in love.

385
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 1: I thought he was perfect. Why were you so in

386
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:30,120
Speaker 1: love with him? Girl?

387
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,280
Speaker 2: I thought, well, Okay, at the time, I thought he

388
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 2: was the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life,

389
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,040
Speaker 2: which I no longer believe, right, But I thought that,

390
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,360
Speaker 2: and he was very good at mirroring me because I

391
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 2: look back now at a lot of the stuff, like

392
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 2: a lot of the moments that I felt like the

393
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,120
Speaker 2: most connected to him, and it was a lot of

394
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,840
Speaker 2: him kind of just like mirroring me. Yeah, And I

395
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 2: felt like I'd found someone who was really similar to me.

396
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,640
Speaker 2: And I look back now and I look at kind

397
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,560
Speaker 2: of how he's conducted himself after the breakup, and I'm like, no,

398
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 2: he's just kind of shape shifts, I think to who

399
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,360
Speaker 2: he's with, which is not like it necessarily about many

400
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:00,840
Speaker 2: people do that.

401
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 1: Man. She was like, which got about things.

402
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that, like we were much less

403
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 2: compatible than I thought because I was like, oh, he's

404
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,000
Speaker 2: just like me, and it's like, no, he was not

405
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:09,360
Speaker 2: at all.

406
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,360
Speaker 1: Did he reach out to you after the album came?

407
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: I told my best friend.

408
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:13,920
Speaker 2: I was like, because she was like, he's going to

409
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,440
Speaker 2: text you, Like, I'll give you one thousand dollars if

410
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,720
Speaker 2: he ever texted me again in our lives way, He's

411
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,640
Speaker 2: never going to contact me.

412
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,080
Speaker 1: You're kidding I'm certain of it because I'm someone who

413
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:22,960
Speaker 1: always goes back.

414
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,240
Speaker 2: Well, I know that I am. So the only guys

415
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,080
Speaker 2: who have come back to me have been the ones

416
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 2: that I dumped. It's very thinly. They'll like, hey, let's

417
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,960
Speaker 2: be friends and get cough and I'm like, babe, you're not.

418
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 2: And I and I sometimes I'll play ball, but I

419
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 2: know that what's.

420
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,200
Speaker 1: Going on here. Yeah, But I mean, hen we we.

421
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:40,200
Speaker 2: Talked after the breakup because I reached out because I

422
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,480
Speaker 2: was sad, but it was I was very mature about it.

423
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,000
Speaker 2: I was like, it was like six months afterward. I

424
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,520
Speaker 2: was like, let's just get coffee because we ran into

425
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,720
Speaker 2: each other at something and it was totally fine and pleasant,

426
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,360
Speaker 2: and we texted a little bit after that. But he

427
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,760
Speaker 2: has since stopped answering my text which is fine. It's

428
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,160
Speaker 2: been like a year since last time I texted, and

429
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's whatever. But yeah, he's I am certain

430
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:58,960
Speaker 2: he's never going to contact me ever again.

431
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,720
Speaker 1: How long did it take you to get over it?

432
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:05,200
Speaker 2: I would say it took like the first kind of heat,

433
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,159
Speaker 2: the first heat of recovery. Honestly, like they took the

434
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,520
Speaker 2: length of the relationship. I feel like it took like

435
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,960
Speaker 2: nine months, damn, because he he was dating this other girl,

436
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 2: like right after we broke up, and they broke up

437
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 2: and got back together. And I remember when I found

438
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 2: out that they had gotten back together the first time.

439
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:22,640
Speaker 2: That was when I had like a big crash out

440
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:23,840
Speaker 2: and I was like nine months after we broke up,

441
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,639
Speaker 2: and it was like after that crash out, I was like,

442
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,639
Speaker 2: I think I'm better. And so then after that period

443
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 2: of being stressed about like him getting back together with

444
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,280
Speaker 2: this girl.

445
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,240
Speaker 1: I would be like, hill better, Yeah I was you

446
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:37,200
Speaker 1: reach out to him or him? Yeah?

447
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:38,639
Speaker 2: No, no, I'm.

448
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 1: Not proud of you. I have a lot of pride.

449
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 2: I was just like crazy, like I'm privately, I'm being insane,

450
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 2: and I mean I was posting listen I say privately,

451
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,280
Speaker 2: I was posting a lot of songs.

452
00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 1: I was writing a lot of songs and putting them

453
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:51,000
Speaker 1: on the Internet.

454
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,359
Speaker 2: And that was my public grieving process, which I will

455
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 2: never do again. Wait why because even though I was

456
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,760
Speaker 2: like relatively coy, like, surely he was seeing all of it.

457
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,600
Speaker 2: Like I don't like I could tell myself that he

458
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,440
Speaker 2: wasn't because he never like watched my stories or anything.

459
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 2: But I'm like I feel like he probably had some

460
00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,040
Speaker 2: idea of what was going on, and like, I think

461
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:13,880
Speaker 2: it's just better to process a little bit more privately.

462
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 2: Like I think it's being a person with a platform.

463
00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:18,520
Speaker 2: It's like, of course I'm going to talk about general themes,

464
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,199
Speaker 2: you know, but I think it's better to come away

465
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,000
Speaker 2: from the constant hamstery la posting process and then then

466
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,280
Speaker 2: share when you've come to a conclusion of something kind

467
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,719
Speaker 2: we have something to share, Like so I wrote Massachusetts

468
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,159
Speaker 2: about a year after we broke up, and then I

469
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,159
Speaker 2: put the song out like six months after that. When

470
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,960
Speaker 2: I put the song out, I made this substack post.

471
00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,320
Speaker 2: It was like breakup advice basically, and I.

472
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,800
Speaker 1: Was like, that was a good thing to share.

473
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 2: Because it was like, it's been a year and a

474
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,639
Speaker 2: half since this breakup. I have thoughts and feelings. I

475
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 2: have fully figured out what this means for my story

476
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,679
Speaker 2: in my life, and that's really valuable. And I think

477
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 2: I'll continue to share about my life when I can

478
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,760
Speaker 2: process it and take time away. But it's the in

479
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,639
Speaker 2: real time, like I got dumped a week ago and

480
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,159
Speaker 2: I'm writing a song about it and I'm putting it

481
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,840
Speaker 2: on the internet. It's like it's not as embarrassing as

482
00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 2: me like doing like a story time about it. But

483
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 2: it's like it is like that maybe was something. I

484
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,840
Speaker 2: don't regret it because like I grew my following that way,

485
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 2: was literally documenting the songs I was writing as going

486
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 2: through that breakup. That's how I grew my following.

487
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 1: But I don't think.

488
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 2: I don't think I need to do that again.

489
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,120
Speaker 1: You were twenty four. How old was he? He's a year older.

490
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:16,320
Speaker 2: He was okay at that point.

491
00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,040
Speaker 1: I was. I turned twenty five. He had turned twenty

492
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,719
Speaker 1: six at that point. And did you think y'all were

493
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,320
Speaker 1: gonna get married? I fantasized about it all the time

494
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,320
Speaker 1: in your one of your songs, and I can't remember

495
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,160
Speaker 1: which one you talk about like you talked about having

496
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,919
Speaker 1: my kids or you talked about raising That was.

497
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,399
Speaker 2: My first boyfriend. He threatened to father my children. That

498
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 2: was a threat.

499
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 1: Why would it be a threat. He was horrible. He

500
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: was really horrib he was careful. First relationship was bad. Yes, yeah,

501
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,760
Speaker 1: do you want to say why or no? I mean

502
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,080
Speaker 1: it was I would say it was abusive. It was.

503
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 2: It was not I was not saying and I didn't

504
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 2: know that it took a long time for me to

505
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: put that together. I mean, that's what the that's what

506
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 2: the second album is really about. It's about these two relationships,

507
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,439
Speaker 2: which is why I try to be really clear. I'm like,

508
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 2: for the people who know me and my exes, I'm like,

509
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 2: I want to be clear. Like the songs about my

510
00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,560
Speaker 2: second boyfriend and my first boyfriend are very different. My

511
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,200
Speaker 2: second boyfriend was not abusive, he was mostly a good guy.

512
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,560
Speaker 2: But yeah, my first boyfriend definitely was. He but he

513
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 2: was a little bit older, and he was talking about

514
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,040
Speaker 2: marriage and kids and stuff, and I was not like imminently,

515
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 2: but like something that he wanted with me, and I

516
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 2: was every time he talked about it, I was like, really.

517
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,160
Speaker 1: And who broke up with you? I ended it okay, good.

518
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 2: Which was crazy because because it was my first relationship,

519
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:22,399
Speaker 2: the first relationship, you were younger.

520
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

521
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,359
Speaker 2: I was twenty three when it started and he was

522
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,399
Speaker 2: twenty eight, which is not like that much older, but like,

523
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 2: because I had no life experience, it felt like a

524
00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:29,160
Speaker 2: bigger age gap.

525
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

526
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 2: But I was so surprised that I ended it because

527
00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 2: like I had always thought, like if I ever get

528
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 2: a boyfriend, like I don't know how I could possibly

529
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: break up with someone, because like, I've wanted this for

530
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,439
Speaker 2: so long, And yeah.

531
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like, how did it feel as

532
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 1: someone like, you know, growing up up to like twenty two,

533
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,040
Speaker 1: not having a boyfriend. How do you think?

534
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 2: Well, it's so I am on TikTok all the time

535
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 2: looking at like late bloomer TikTok because I'm like, I

536
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,800
Speaker 2: know what you girls are. I know ladies, I know,

537
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,439
Speaker 2: which is funny. Also because I remember when I was

538
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,520
Speaker 2: dating that guy. I made a TikTok talking about being

539
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 2: a late bloomer but us being together, and I got

540
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,639
Speaker 2: so many hate comments, like the video kind of viral,

541
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 2: and I got all these hate comments from people who

542
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,120
Speaker 2: were much older than me, who'd never had relationships.

543
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 1: They're like, you think twenty three is a late bloomer.

544
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 2: Oh, it's like I thought so because everyone made me

545
00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 2: feel so weird that I didn't have a boyfriend in

546
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,200
Speaker 2: high school or college.

547
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,479
Speaker 1: Well, it kind of colors the way you're processing something,

548
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,800
Speaker 1: like how you said like, oh I thought I was

549
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,400
Speaker 1: a late bloomer, and then this TikTok of yours got

550
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: to like late late bloomer TikTok, you know, like and

551
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: so that color is the way you are perceiving your experience.

552
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 1: And I just think like, while you're processing something, sort

553
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 1: of leaving that at bay and making sure you are

554
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 1: where you are before you give it. Yes, I have

555
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: given before I have known. I feel like, how do

556
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:40,439
Speaker 1: you feel about it?

557
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 2: Like do you feel like you look back at old

558
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 2: tiktoks and things and are like, Oh, I kind of

559
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 2: wish I had waited to talk about that.

560
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: We talk about this, me and my producer sometimes, Like

561
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 1: there was an era of last year where I was

562
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: posting and I was just like I look back at

563
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 1: those videos and I'm like, who is she? Literally don't know?

564
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 2: It takes so little time six months a year, I'm

565
00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 2: like recognizable.

566
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,239
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I who she is? Why is she

567
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,960
Speaker 1: talking like that? What voice is that?

568
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:03,320
Speaker 2: Like?

569
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 1: What is that cadence? Like is she okay? So definitely

570
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,959
Speaker 1: I learned in a really intense way not to process

571
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 1: in public and not to process with public opinion. And

572
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: I'm still figuring out when and how to put my

573
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,120
Speaker 1: feelings out, even.

574
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 2: Because I don't think it's bad to do. Like I

575
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 2: think there's some people who are like it shall never

576
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 2: be shared, Like you should just process in private. And

577
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, I disagree, because I think as long

578
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 2: as we have the social Internet as a tool for

579
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 2: connection with other people, it's great to use it for

580
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 2: this purpose.

581
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: It's definitely like a double edged sword, do you know

582
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,399
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's just like you have to wield

583
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: it carefully, like the power of the internet. Wait, so

584
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: take me back a little again. Breakup with Massachusetts Guy

585
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: album comes out a little bit after and then you're

586
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: happily single, and are you looking for love or you're

587
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: looking to stay single? How do you identify with like

588
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: voice sover in general? Now I am not congratulations.

589
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:08,080
Speaker 2: Well, so I at the beginning of twenty twenty four,

590
00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 2: when I was like recording the album, I was I

591
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:12,640
Speaker 2: thought I was gonna be boy sob. I fully planned it,

592
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 2: like I went on a horrible first date.

593
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: And how what happened?

594
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 2: He was he picked me up at a bar, which

595
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: had never happened before in real life, Yes, in real

596
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 2: life in the wild, yes, which I've never had that

597
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 2: happen before or since.

598
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 1: Do you remember the line, Well.

599
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 2: He sent his friend up to me, like his friend

600
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: was a weird guy, and his friend like said something

601
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 2: kind of gross to me, and I was like what

602
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,080
Speaker 2: And then the guy came up and was like, oh,

603
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 2: sorry about my friend. And then we started talking and

604
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 2: he's like, I'm gonna be honest. I like sent my

605
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 2: friend over to start the conversation because I was nervous

606
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 2: to talk.

607
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: What a terrible allue. He's like, my friend is gross,

608
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm less gross, look at me.

609
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, and yeah kind of, I was like,

610
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 2: I was just so. He was really tall, and so

611
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, you're tall, and you came up

612
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 2: to me in a bar. In real life, I'm charmed.

613
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:53,520
Speaker 2: And so we went on a date and it was

614
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,359
Speaker 2: a terrible date. As it turns out. I at the

615
00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 2: when I met at the bar, he was drunk and

616
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 2: when I met him sober, not a fan and I

617
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:00,879
Speaker 2: and I went home and I like, I was like,

618
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 2: I'm done with dating for the rest of the year.

619
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:02,880
Speaker 1: It was so bad.

620
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 2: I was not going to date the rest of the year.

621
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,800
Speaker 2: And then a couple of weeks later, a damn slide

622
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,679
Speaker 2: did occur and I did get into a relationship for

623
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: a minute.

624
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 1: How much time?

625
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 2: Three months?

626
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: I knew it because it's always three months. It's yeah, okay,

627
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 1: I just I just wanted to confirm my suspicions and I.

628
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: And I again, I ended both of those, Like, I

629
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 2: didn't realize I was going to be the breaker uppers As.

630
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,320
Speaker 1: An adult, are you usually the person who breaks up?

631
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: I have been mostly other.

632
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 2: Than the one time I got like, spectacularly dumped I,

633
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,920
Speaker 2: since I've been in relationships, I've pretty much been the

634
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 2: breaker uppers.

635
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 1: Spectacularly dumped is so funny.

636
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: And then I broke up with him because he was

637
00:24:33,119 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 2: too clingy, Okay, proud of you, which does happen sometimes,

638
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: of course.

639
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,040
Speaker 1: And then I was like, I would assume guys are

640
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:39,719
Speaker 1: obsessed with you.

641
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: I would say most of my most of my dynamics

642
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 2: with men, it definitely starts if it's going to go anywhere,

643
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 2: it starts with them being obsessed. If they're not obsessed,

644
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 2: it's not gonna go anywhere. Yes, But then it just depends,

645
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 2: like how long is it going to take for that

646
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: obsession to kind of taper.

647
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: Off for them to really know. I've had guys meet

648
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: me and they like saw me and decided something about

649
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: me online first, and then they meet me in person

650
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,919
Speaker 1: and they're like, wait, you are actually crazy or there.

651
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,800
Speaker 2: Or it's like, but like I or you're not what

652
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: I whatever the thing is I made up in my head,

653
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: you're not that. And it's like maybe they figure that

654
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,359
Speaker 2: out on a date one, maybe they figured it out

655
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,200
Speaker 2: on a date twelve. But it's like eventually they're like, wait,

656
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:13,000
Speaker 2: I get an idea and you're not pulling my script.

657
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,239
Speaker 1: Wait I'm breaking up with you because this is all

658
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: I'm always going to be like, Okay, so bad date.

659
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,439
Speaker 1: Thought you were going to go boy sober for a

660
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,679
Speaker 1: year a DM last two weeks? Well the DM, how

661
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: you can do it?

662
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 2: I mean it's so powerful, but yeah, we so we

663
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: did it for a couple of months. I broke up

664
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 2: with him, and then I was like not going boys sober.

665
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm gonna be not gonna into a relationship,

666
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 2: like I want to have a little fun and like

667
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 2: get around. And then I asked a friend of mine

668
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 2: to set me up and she did set me up

669
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,120
Speaker 2: with her friend and that was the situationship.

670
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: That was a few months, and situationships love them or

671
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 1: leave them. You know, I'm gonna say love them.

672
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 2: Oh, and I'm gonna be a hot take about it

673
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 2: because Okay, I think if you're looking for a committed relationship,

674
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: do not get into a situation.

675
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 1: Be very honest about your intentions.

676
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 2: But if you are looking to be chill vibes like,

677
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 2: it's granted I did crash out about that man. I

678
00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: ended our situationship. But I was crashing out so bad.

679
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 1: What made you crash out? He never texted me ever. Sick.

680
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: I'm pissed.

681
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,040
Speaker 2: He never texted me ever, and he'd only see me

682
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 2: once a week.

683
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm insane. No, I'm like, if I'm in a situationship

684
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: with you, if we are doing this together, I need

685
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:17,920
Speaker 1: you to be almost my roommate. Once a week would

686
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:18,640
Speaker 1: make me sick in the head.

687
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 2: Well, because he was recovering for he had been in

688
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 2: a really long relationship before that.

689
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: I love like he was recovering from a long relationship.

690
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 1: He like, so, I don't listen.

691
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to put this man on black.

692
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: He's a very private person.

693
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 2: I would not put this man on blast. But yeah,

694
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: he had a very long I think he had like

695
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 2: a series of long relationships kind of close together, and

696
00:26:33,080 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 2: he was like, I need to be single. I am

697
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,240
Speaker 2: never sin He was also a little older. He's like,

698
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:37,920
Speaker 2: I need to single. I'm never single, and I kind

699
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 2: of got the vibe that I was like that. He

700
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 2: didn't say this outright, but I kind of got the

701
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 2: vibe that, like, his next relationship was going to be

702
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:44,679
Speaker 2: like the one, you know. So I was like, I

703
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: don't want to rush into that, like I'm ready to

704
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 2: have fun and be chill vibes. So the first like

705
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: month and a half, I was like, yeah, this is rad,

706
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 2: Like he's not all up in my space, like when

707
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 2: we see each other, it's great, but it's very chill.

708
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: And then something started to turn around.

709
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 2: It would have been like date five or six, and

710
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 2: I was like like, well, we're every time we hang out,

711
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 2: we hang out like all day totally and like we talked,

712
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 2: we're also talking.

713
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: That I think is the marker of a situationship is

714
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 1: when like playing.

715
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 2: House one of our last dates, I was holding laundry

716
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 2: with him, No, and you're in We're watching the Dodger game,

717
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: holding laundry his dog on the couch.

718
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no Dodgers dog laundry. I'm sick.

719
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: I was like, no label, yeah, no label, just fully.

720
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:27,120
Speaker 2: Oh yeah that was bad.

721
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 1: We could start a family, would make sense.

722
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, fine, no will question it were the right age,

723
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,679
Speaker 2: it was no, it was crazy and but yeah, I

724
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 2: eventually ended it because we there was a point where

725
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not going to text him first

726
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: and just see what happens to hear from him for

727
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 2: a week. And I went and I literally hit him up.

728
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 2: I was like, girl, if you can't text me for

729
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 2: a week, we should not be doing this. And he

730
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,719
Speaker 2: was like, you're right, damn.

731
00:27:46,000 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: And that was that. Can I ask you, how do

732
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,200
Speaker 1: you crash out? I mean you said you go crazy

733
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: in private? I go so crazy.

734
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,199
Speaker 2: I mean I I love to go in my I

735
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 2: have a walk in closet. I love to go in

736
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: my closet, sit on floor, lights off, headphones on, music

737
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 2: so loud, crying so hard that my neck.

738
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,360
Speaker 1: Is wet, and who are you listening to? Well?

739
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,359
Speaker 2: During that period of time, the new Kidie Gavin album

740
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: had just dropped, and so that was the soundtrack for that. Okay,

741
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 2: when I went through my big breakup, that was one

742
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 2: week before SOS by Sissy, and so that was my

743
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: that was my breakup album for that.

744
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,000
Speaker 1: Oh so good? Yeah, Okay, situationship is over, yes, and

745
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:38,480
Speaker 1: again you're happily single.

746
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 2: That was after I recovered from that crash out. That

747
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 2: was when I was like, oh, I think I'm happy

748
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: to be alone right now. And so that was like

749
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 2: November December of last year, so kind of all of

750
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm happily single,

751
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 2: which was like amazing. It was the kind of the

752
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 2: first time in a really long time, if ever, that

753
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,160
Speaker 2: I was like really single by choice, really happy. I

754
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: wasn't fully boys work because I will still going on dates,

755
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 2: but it was very much I was like, very definitively

756
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: like I don't want these toad relations.

757
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: And let me also say, I think you can be

758
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:08,640
Speaker 1: boy sober and go on dates as long as you're

759
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: not getting obsessed. That is like the true takeaway of

760
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 1: boy sober decentering exactly. So it's like, if you're having fun,

761
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 1: if you're going on dates, if you're sleeping with people,

762
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:22,200
Speaker 1: that's fine, that's amazing that do that. My issue is

763
00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,520
Speaker 1: like I become obsessed of course, so quick.

764
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 2: And that was what resonated with me about your content

765
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I really know that bag, and like

766
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 2: I know how it feels to like have your day

767
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: consumed by waiting for a text message, and your day

768
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,479
Speaker 2: ruined by not receiving.

769
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: I saw a crush of mine. I was scrolling Instagram.

770
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: By the way, how many crushes are we having right now?

771
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: For you? Actually none. I had a crush that was

772
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: so limberents object heavy, like every waking moment, every Instagram story,

773
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: every every day, every everything for him. And then finally

774
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 1: I asked him. I was like, what do you want

775
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: from me? And he was like nothing. And since that rejection,

776
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: I've actually been so thankful for it, Like because since

777
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: that rejection, I've been like let off the hook. But

778
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,480
Speaker 1: I am like, I know I have this like sick

779
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: dog inside of me.

780
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 2: So when he said that, you were immediately like not

781
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: interested anymore.

782
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,880
Speaker 1: No, But I I like stopped smoking weed, I stopped drinking,

783
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,720
Speaker 1: I gave up like nicotine, Like I don't have any

784
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: crushes right now, Like I do still need to sleep

785
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,360
Speaker 1: with someone every now and again. So that's that is

786
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: something I needed. You're like very clear headed. I'm trying

787
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 1: to be. That's why I woke up so angry this morning.

788
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: It's too clear. I'm like getting really comfortable with anger

789
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 1: these days because I'm like, like yesterday I woke up

790
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: so mad probably the world. Yeah, you know what I mean,

791
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: because there's a lot going on that's like what we

792
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: have in this day and age as well. It's like

793
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 1: we have our personal problems and then we get on

794
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: our phone and we see, like what's happening.

795
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's the background chaos of like everything is horrible,

796
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 2: like democracy is burning everywhere, people are suffering. And then

797
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,640
Speaker 2: it's like, oh and my situationship didn't text me. That's

798
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 2: my final strike.

799
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: And I don't believe in romantic love right now, I'm sick.

800
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 1: Right So anyways, do I have any crushes? Honestly, no,

801
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,040
Speaker 1: But enjoy.

802
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: This because one's gonna come for you, and you're gonna

803
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 2: be like I was so young.

804
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: Well, because like you said, it's like you were finally

805
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 1: happily single. Yeah, you were going on dates, but you

806
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: were not desperate, not at all.

807
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: And also, I mean I was getting more. I've been

808
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:24,960
Speaker 2: getting more selective.

809
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: Good for you. How quickly do you get the ick

810
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 1: and what gives you the eck? Pretty quick, dude, pretty quick.

811
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: Everything's been giving me the itck recently. Exclamation points.

812
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, no, I want to I want to

813
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:38,120
Speaker 2: hear more. X.

814
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: I love that well I'm just like, this guy was

815
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 1: texting me a lot of exclamation points and I'm like,

816
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 1: calm down, and that's well, that's frankly.

817
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,600
Speaker 2: I made a joke about psychologist, like you know you

818
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 2: love someone if you love them even when they get

819
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 2: a bad haircut. And I think this is before the

820
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,479
Speaker 2: term ick would have even really entered the left totally.

821
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 2: And that's kind of the thing now. It's like if

822
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,480
Speaker 2: a man that I was really quite infatuated with semny

823
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,640
Speaker 2: exclamation points, I'd be honest, but a man, I'm like

824
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 2: on the fence about don't do that.

825
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: No, And I actually this is I realized about X

826
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: the other day. So I was like, no, they don't exist.

827
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:04,880
Speaker 1: You just don't like that person. Yeah, like there is

828
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 1: no giving me.

829
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, every married couple I know, it's like they're like, oh, yeah,

830
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,960
Speaker 2: we've pooped on each other, we vomited on each other,

831
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 2: like we and we still love it. And I'm like, yeah,

832
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: because that Unfortunately, when you're like Maley in love, that

833
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: is the situation.

834
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's how that's how we're rocket. I did get

835
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: the ick.

836
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:22,120
Speaker 2: I was. I went one of my like dates that

837
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: I went on earlier this year. I thought that it

838
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 2: was going fine. And then he walked me to my

839
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 2: car and he leaned in to kiss me, and I

840
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 2: grabbed his arm and went, no, your.

841
00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 1: Body takes over. My body keeps the score.

842
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 2: I had never in my before that I never knew

843
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: what people meant when they were like, oh, yeah, you know,

844
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: like when a guyland's in for a kiss and you're

845
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: not into it, And I was like no. I was like,

846
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: no man's ever tried to kiss me without me sending

847
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 2: such obvious signals that I wanted to happen and that

848
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: and then it did happen to me.

849
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: I was like, it happened to me.

850
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:48,440
Speaker 2: Ama, A man did lean over to kiss me on

851
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 2: a street corner and I went, no, what did he say?

852
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: I lied, I said, I don't do that on the

853
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: first date. Big lie, and then kind of apparent lie.

854
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,959
Speaker 2: Sometimes are perfect and beautiful.

855
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 1: I think so too. I just think it saves everybody.

856
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 1: It's like, no worries.

857
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 2: I'm like, I like to think of myself as a

858
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: pretty honest person, but when it comes to being on

859
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: dates and trying to get out of them or things

860
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 2: on the dates, I'll.

861
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: Say any, oh, yes, anything. My neighbor tried to say

862
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 1: he wanted to sleep with me yesterday, and I was like,

863
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 1: I don't shit where I eat, I do, I have

864
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,520
Speaker 1: and I will again I have. But I was like,

865
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 1: that's a perfect thing to say to him, because it

866
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: makes sense. I mean, it's also true. It's like you're

867
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: my neighbor, like I'm not going to sleep with you

868
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: and then have to see you on the stoop like yeah,

869
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: you know, no, it's and it's that's a would thing

870
00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 1: to say.

871
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: But I have, like have a lot of tried and

872
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 2: true excuses, but I get think very easily.

873
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: But tell me, yes about this new relationship and why

874
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: it works, and why you didn't run and why are

875
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: in it and what happened and just tell me tell

876
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: me to well.

877
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: I mean, he's very private, and I definitely want to

878
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 2: keep it pretty private. But we met through friends. We'd

879
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 2: met before like years ago, like uh at something, and

880
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 2: we were both dating other people at the time, so

881
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 2: I didn't think anything about it. And then yeah, just

882
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: like years past, I was always vaguely aware of him.

883
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:06,080
Speaker 2: I didn't even follow on Instagram like truly, like David,

884
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,360
Speaker 2: no thought And then what is.

885
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: It that they say about like your anxiety and your

886
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: heart and your body and everything. Like the person you

887
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,839
Speaker 1: will love is actually someone when you meet them, your

888
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: body is calm. Yeah, like we look for butterflies, we

889
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 1: look for like excitement. But I mean I should say

890
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 1: I'm definitely I have butterflies for sure.

891
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 2: I butterflies for sure. But Okay, we met in personnel. Okay,

892
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,439
Speaker 2: it was like a thing that we were both at

893
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,799
Speaker 2: right and yeah, we just started talking. And even when

894
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 2: we were first speaking to each other at this event,

895
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: no part of me was like, oh, yeah, like this

896
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 2: is like I didn't. It was only after we'd been

897
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: talking for hours that I was like, I think I

898
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: texted my best friend. I was like, I think remember

899
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: that guy was like I.

900
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: Think we're gonna kiss. Oh my god, and he was like,

901
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:43,919
Speaker 1: go for a queen.

902
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:48,600
Speaker 2: Yes. Yeah, it's very like extremely extremely new.

903
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, is it moving slow? Is it moving fast?

904
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: Are you saying I love you? What's going on? I

905
00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: love you?

906
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: It's moving fast in the sense that like we've like

907
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 2: put a label on it. I guess already, like be

908
00:34:58,920 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: my girlfriend.

909
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: No. We were like, what what do you mean? Because

910
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,759
Speaker 1: people are so scared of labels now, like people are

911
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,880
Speaker 1: so they are I think men and women too, Like

912
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 1: I feel like, because I'm scared of labels, I have

913
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 1: commitment issues. I run, so I do not think this

914
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:12,680
Speaker 1: is just a man thing.

915
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 2: No, not at all, And I was feeling I was

916
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 2: talking to one of my best friends earlier in the year,

917
00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,399
Speaker 2: and like, he and I talk about relationships a lot,

918
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 2: and we both were saying how much we both have

919
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 2: commitment issues and so I hate to be like when

920
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 2: you know, you know, but it was just like it

921
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: didn't feel crazy like every time like with other people

922
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 2: that I've been with, and it fast felt rush like

923
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:32,560
Speaker 2: I felt like we're going too fast, we going too fast,

924
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,120
Speaker 2: and this like it didn't feel like that. But yeah,

925
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: I mean he trying. He was like, what are we?

926
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: The man?

927
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,600
Speaker 2: The man brought up the one are we conversation that

928
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: I was like, perfectly. I at the time I was

929
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,360
Speaker 2: going into like when we were going to see each other.

930
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, yeah, like we could because I'd

931
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 2: been away and we'd been like facetiming cute and I

932
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 2: was like, oh, surely, like I we can just keep

933
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 2: doing this as is like it's I don't care.

934
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,919
Speaker 1: But I feel like the fact that y'all are face

935
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 1: timing is like, that's such a green flag. I haven't

936
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: facetimed demand though.

937
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 2: Actually I was worried that he wasn't going to want

938
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 2: to do it. But like we hung out like two

939
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: times before I left for a lot of travel stuff.

940
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 2: We were texting and I was like, yeah, like the

941
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,919
Speaker 2: next time we talk on the phone or in person

942
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 2: or whatever, and he said, O, yeah, we should talk

943
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 2: on the phone. And then we did and I was

944
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,200
Speaker 2: like it was so great, and the reach ended up

945
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 2: face having like a lot, and that was I kind

946
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:18,920
Speaker 2: of figured that like we were headed towards it becoming

947
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,239
Speaker 2: more serious.

948
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 1: But we hadn't. I was like, maybe he's still like

949
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: sleeping like falling, I don't know. Long phone call FaceTime

950
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 1: feels like so serious. That's boyfriend girlfriend, I think as I.

951
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: Was thinking, but I was like, I don't want get

952
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 2: ahead of myself. And I really was like, yeah, he's

953
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 2: face sending me. But I'm like, but he could be

954
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,920
Speaker 2: sleeping with any I'm not in la ever now of

955
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 2: a week, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, and you just

956
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 2: really never know what these with these people. But yeah,

957
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,439
Speaker 2: when I when we hung out when I got back, Yeah,

958
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 2: we were just talking and we were we both said

959
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 2: we weren't seeing other people, and then I was like,

960
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,560
Speaker 2: just out of curiosity, what's the difference between exclusive and

961
00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: boyfriend girlfriend? He was like, no difference, and I.

962
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, what a breath of freshing.

963
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 2: And that's the thing that I think and I hate.

964
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:55,879
Speaker 2: I hate to be that.

965
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: Girl that's like, you know, than when you're not well.

966
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,280
Speaker 1: I was gonna was my next question, what's your dating

967
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: advice for someone? For me?

968
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 2: I mean, I think like I think you're allowed to

969
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 2: be looking for it. I absolutely think you're allowed to

970
00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 2: be looking for it. Like I've been set up twice.

971
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: The mass Choosest Man was a set up, and then

972
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 2: my situationship last was a set up. Both those were awesome,

973
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,400
Speaker 2: even though they ended, you know, not great.

974
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,720
Speaker 1: But I also feel like something I appreciate about, appreciate

975
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 1: about what you've been saying all day is I feel

976
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: like you're a little bit like ride the wave, like

977
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,440
Speaker 1: maybe like your pro situationship I am, and me a

978
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: little bit too, because I'm like get close to the sun.

979
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:30,600
Speaker 2: You know not first of all, if you get into

980
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:32,879
Speaker 2: a relationship, it's like the implication is like we both

981
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,040
Speaker 2: see this going somewhere I don't know where, like not

982
00:37:35,080 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 2: necessarily marriage, but it's like we see this going at

983
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,279
Speaker 2: least for the next few months. I think of it

984
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,040
Speaker 2: as like kind of like a lease, like getting into

985
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 2: relationship by on lease.

986
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: In this car, I'm like, we'll.

987
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 2: See if I re up right and I feel good

988
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 2: about it, I want to drive it for.

989
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:48,760
Speaker 1: A while totally see if I ran here for a minute. Yeah,

990
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: let's just see.

991
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 2: The situationship is like I don't necessarily see this going

992
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 2: anywhere totally, and it's like there is no future. There's

993
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 2: some kind of chemistry happening, and I don't want to

994
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 2: not hang out with you just because I don't think

995
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,520
Speaker 2: it's forever, Like I do want it. I want to

996
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: see it through to something. And I think if you're

997
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 2: not looking for a relationship, that's no reason to not have.

998
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: Romance and no greed.

999
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think it's just really important to be

1000
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:10,360
Speaker 2: clear about what you want. And in my case with

1001
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 2: situationships is like, as soon as I realize I want

1002
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 2: a relationship, I have to basically ask for it, and

1003
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: if they don't want it, then it's like, okay, we're done.

1004
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: Like I can't be I don't. I'm not a fake

1005
00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 2: chill girl. Like as soon as I'm not, in fact

1006
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 2: a chill girl, I'm like, hey, by the way, I'm

1007
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: not chill anymore.

1008
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 1: No, sorry, I was chill before, I'm not chill now.

1009
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 2: No, then we have to be done.

1010
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I love that. I feel like you have

1011
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 1: to get that out.

1012
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 2: And like I've I've crashed out over a one week

1013
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 2: situationship in my day. Yeah, And so it's like I

1014
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 2: don't want to say like I'm amazing at keeping control

1015
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,520
Speaker 2: and keeping my cool. I'm certainly not all the time.

1016
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 2: But the older I get, the more selective I'm getting.

1017
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just I think the biggest thing is

1018
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 2: to be be really honest with yourself and the people

1019
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 2: that you're dating about your intentions and just stop trying

1020
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 2: to pretend that you want stuff you don't want. And

1021
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 2: that goes both ways, Like don't tell people you want

1022
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 2: a relationship if you know you don't, because you're just

1023
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:54,919
Speaker 2: gonna break up with them in two months and they're

1024
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,000
Speaker 2: going to freak out. That's evil.

1025
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: What is like something I've had to unlearn about love?

1026
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,279
Speaker 2: I think, I mean one of the biggest things is

1027
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 2: just that like it doesn't solve anything other than the

1028
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 2: problem of the lack of romantic love. The only thing

1029
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 2: getting into a relationship does is it solves the problem

1030
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,120
Speaker 2: of you being single, which doesn't have to be a

1031
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 2: problem if you don't.

1032
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:19,359
Speaker 1: Want to be. I know, historically I have thought, like before.

1033
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 2: I ever got into a serious relationship, or when periods

1034
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,520
Speaker 2: where I was feeling really lonely, I was like, oh,

1035
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 2: if I just got a boyfriend, then all of this

1036
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: other stuff I'd.

1037
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: Be able to deal with. Everything else will disappear.

1038
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: And I will say that I'm very conscious in this

1039
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 2: relationship of like you don't have to be consumed, and

1040
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,279
Speaker 2: so like I've been very conscious of like still like

1041
00:39:37,680 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 2: really making time to be by myself and really being

1042
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 2: present on all the travel that I've been doing for work,

1043
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 2: like I was playing with Hosier and like I was

1044
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: going to this movie premiere, and like in the moments

1045
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:47,759
Speaker 2: when I'm doing that stuff, I'm like, he is not

1046
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,719
Speaker 2: on my mind. I am one hundred percent locked in

1047
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 2: on this thing that I'm doing, because these are the memories.

1048
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,000
Speaker 2: I hope we stay together. Like I don't know what's

1049
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 2: gonna come, but like when I'm an old lady like

1050
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to be remembering like stuff like frankly like

1051
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 2: not to make like my life as a at work,

1052
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 2: but this is like all my happiest memories of my

1053
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,239
Speaker 2: old life or my work, right, and it's like I'm

1054
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 2: trying to remember, like to stay focused and like really

1055
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 2: take mental screenshots of all of the tactile experiences of

1056
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,919
Speaker 2: being on those stages and being in those rooms, because

1057
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,200
Speaker 2: like that is what really fills me.

1058
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 1: Ah well, Jensen, thank you so much for coming on this. Yeah,

1059
00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: so much fun. We did it. Thank you so much

1060
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 1: to Jensen for taking time out of your busy schedule

1061
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: to talk with us. I can't wait to hear the

1062
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:34,919
Speaker 1: album that this new era of love inspires. And thank

1063
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 1: all of you for listening, And as always, I'll talk

1064
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: to y'all next week. Boys Sover is a production of

1065
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host, Hope Ordered. Our executive producers

1066
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 1: are Christina Ever and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is

1067
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: Emily Meronoff engineering by Bahid Fraser and mixing and mastering

1068
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 1: by Aboo Zafar. If you liked this episode, please tell

1069
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: a friend and don't forget to rate, review and subscribe

1070
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, and

1071
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 1: wherever you get your favorite shows.