1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: The Fread Show is on. It's stay or go all right, 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: Marco is here, by the way, I'll hit us up 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: fread Show Radio on Instagram, frendshow radio dot com. That's 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: where you can send us your stories. Marco. Good morning, 5 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: Good morning. How are you guys, Marco doing great? What's 6 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: going on with you? Your girlfriend's name is Kelsey? And 7 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:22,319 Speaker 1: what's the what's the situation? Because you know, as I 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: say each week, obviously, when you are confused about something, 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: the right thing to do is to call your friends 10 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: on the radio, obviously, So let's talk about it right now. 11 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: Just there's only thirteen people listening. It'll be fine. 12 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:36,879 Speaker 2: I got it. 13 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 3: Well, my so we've been dating for about a year 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 3: and a half, and I guess unfortunately, you know, she 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 3: doesn't really like my group of friends, you know, my 16 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 3: close friends I've been hanging with for basically my whole 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 3: life and just kind of starting to take a toll 18 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 3: on our relationship and my relationship with my friends. 19 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: Okay, so specifically year and a half. What's what does 20 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: she not like about them? What's the problem? 21 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:12,919 Speaker 3: She just says that, you know, they're just annoying because 22 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 3: that they're noxious, and and then I even act differently 23 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 3: when I'm around them. Kind of her whole thing? 24 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: Are these like childhood friends, high school friends? College friends? 25 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 3: What's the deal the childhood I mean combination childhood college. 26 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 3: A lot of them are like sort of like would 27 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 3: be like, you know, surrogate brothers and sisters, Right, okay, 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 3: how I feel about them? They're like, we're like really tight. 29 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: Do She's like any not one of them, She's like 30 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: any of your friends. 31 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 3: No, she just says, like, oh, they're not chous. I 32 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 3: don't like being around them. I don't know if it's 33 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 3: just like a thing she's going through. 34 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: But what do you guys like playing grab ass? And 35 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: you know what if you're being if you can be objective, 36 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: I mean you get too drunk when you're with them? 37 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: Do you tell dirty jokes? I mean, is it immature? 38 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: What do you think? I mean? Is she right at all? 39 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 3: I mean it's like if you can't be yourself and 40 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: have fun with your friends. You know, we're loud, we 41 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 3: would like, you know, messing with each other and just 42 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: I just say, we're having a good time. 43 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 2: You know. 44 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,839 Speaker 3: It's just like my friends, you know, we just get 45 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 3: to be like ourselves, and you know, she reads and 46 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 3: likes to be by herself. 47 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: Oh she reads books. Wow, one of those one of 48 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,399 Speaker 1: those kind of people. 49 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 3: You find her. 50 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 1: Yeah. I do have to say this though, and that's 51 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:32,359 Speaker 1: why I asked if she doesn't like it, is one 52 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: or two that she likes, Because anytime I hear that 53 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: one person doesn't like anybody else, you know, or anytime 54 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,519 Speaker 1: I hear somebody say that it's always everybody else's fault, 55 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: That's what I'm like, Okay, maybe you need to the 56 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,000 Speaker 1: person who doesn't like anybody needs to look at this 57 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: a little bit differently. That person needs to be a 58 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: little more accepting. That person needs to understand that these 59 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: this is who you are and that you're just being yourself. Now. 60 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:04,239 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that maybe you guys aren't annoying. But 61 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: at the same time, anytime, that's why I'm like, if 62 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,799 Speaker 1: she's like, well, she likes a couple of them, but 63 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: then there's a few she doesn't like, that's understandable. I 64 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: think anytime you date someone, there are going to be 65 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: people that you just you wouldn't be friends with otherwise. Right. 66 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: The same with family. I think sometimes you marry into 67 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,280 Speaker 1: a family and you didn't choose that family. So maybe 68 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: you know, there are people that you tolerate, but you 69 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: tolerate them because you love the person who you're with, 70 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: or you like the person who you're with, but she 71 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:30,800 Speaker 1: doesn't like anybody, and right, well, what do you does 72 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: ay you can do about that? 73 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 3: Well, I mean, here's the thing though, like you said, 74 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 3: maybe the toleration, right, because at first week when we 75 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 3: started dating, we would hang out together and she did it. 76 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 3: But then she's like, I just did it because you 77 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 3: know at the time it made you happy. But so 78 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 3: now she doesn't want to do those things and not 79 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 3: make me happy. Right, So that's that's the issue that 80 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 3: we're happening to here. And my friends are asking questions 81 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 3: because she's not really going out anymore, and I'm even 82 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: passing on plans with hanging with them because I know 83 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 3: she doesn't like it. 84 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: But I mean, are you guys out like drinking too much? 85 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:05,840 Speaker 1: Doing drugs? 86 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 4: Like? 87 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: I mean, is it is it like rowdy and potentially 88 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: damaging in any other kind of way? Is it just 89 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: he just doesn't like these people's personalities. 90 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 3: We definitely don't do drugs already. I'm not that kind 91 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 3: of guy anyway. We bulling definitely boring. Yeah, yeah, we've 92 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 3: just done friends are. 93 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: Like we just yell and I said when he said, 94 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,760 Speaker 1: definitely not boring when I don't do drugs. I don't 95 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,559 Speaker 1: know why I said that, but I read books. Actually, 96 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 1: what's her name? She could be on the market soon. 97 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: Allein's your boy. We can sit in the same room 98 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: and read books. And I probably would be very happy 99 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,599 Speaker 1: with that relationship. And I don't hang out with that 100 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: many people, so she would be very unlikely she wouldn't 101 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,119 Speaker 1: like my friends. But again, like this is vial, go ahead, 102 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: Can I ask you how often do you hang out 103 00:04:58,640 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: with her friends? 104 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 3: I mean she's she like like you won't hang out. 105 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: Your friends, but she is of a homebody. 106 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 3: Oh okay, she does, but she's kind of a home 107 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 3: buddy and so like every once in a while, a 108 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 3: few times, maybe twice a month. 109 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: But you don't have any problem with any of her friends, right. 110 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 3: I mean, like they're all they're all, you know, aren't 111 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: all awesome. But it's not like issue with them, you know. 112 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: It's maybe she's a little bit anti social, maybe an introvert. 113 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,559 Speaker 1: I mean I kind of wonder if she don't like anybody, right, 114 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: because if she had a group of friends and then 115 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: you're supposed to like all of them, and it's unlikely 116 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: that you would. And then you have friends and she's 117 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: like any of them. But it sounds like she keeps 118 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: it pretty tight. 119 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 3: Yeah she's. Yes, she's just a little introverted. And the 120 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 3: thing I like that about her. I like her. She's 121 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 3: a deep thinker and she she's kind, and I don't know, 122 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 3: I think everything is well between us, and I just 123 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 3: think we need to do a better job of accommoding 124 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 3: each other all the way around. Like, hey, I do 125 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 3: that with my friends. I don't have to hang out 126 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 3: with them all the time or you know, and spend 127 00:06:05,279 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 3: time with her instead. But you know, not totally ever 128 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 3: hang out my friends. That's where Yeah, yeah, I have 129 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 3: the question. 130 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 5: You have to you have to compromise in a relationship, 131 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,559 Speaker 5: Like even if you don't like his friends, you should 132 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 5: steal and especially if he's inviting you, because a lot 133 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 5: of men will it just exclude you from their friend group. 134 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 5: And it's like he loved the homies more than he 135 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 5: loves me, you know what I'm saying. So the fact 136 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,080 Speaker 5: that he's inviting you, like you're still inviting her. I 137 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,480 Speaker 5: think she should compromise, and if she can't compromise, then 138 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 5: she got to go. 139 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: And the other thing is, we've all had friends. No, 140 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: I agree, I agree with both of you. And the 141 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 1: other thing is we've all we've all known people who 142 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: get into a relationship and the their partner, their new 143 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: partner who over there with isolates them. Yeah, you know, 144 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 1: in a lot of ways. And so here's the thing, Marco. 145 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: If this doesn't last forever, and even if it does, 146 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 1: you know, you stand the chance of losing your friends 147 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,520 Speaker 1: in childhood in some capacity because she won't let you 148 00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:59,479 Speaker 1: hang out with them. Like that's not sustainable, right, you know, 149 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,800 Speaker 1: So that's good. Like if she's never going to accept 150 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,320 Speaker 1: your friends or never going to accept the way that 151 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 1: you act around them occasionally assuming that it's above bored, 152 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: then I don't This is not gonna work. It's because 153 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: you how can you live a life where you have 154 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: nothing outside the relationship? That's not healthy? 155 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 6: M m. 156 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 157 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: Let me take some vote hooves on this, Marco. I 158 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: have the radio on, have iHeart on or whatever, and 159 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take some calls and see what people have 160 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: to say about it too. And maybe they've been through 161 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: this as well, Marco, good luck to you man, have 162 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: a good day. 163 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 7: Rufio he big man. Yeah, she sounds boring. You know, 164 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 7: you needna get the shit out of her. But like 165 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 7: that's just no fun police over here. Like he's got 166 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,960 Speaker 7: child friends. And then she's like, oh, you can. 167 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 8: Hang out with him anymore because you act too crazy 168 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 8: or whatever. 169 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: Those are his friends. Like you gotta have time to 170 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:44,800 Speaker 1: hang out with your friends. Like I said, they're not 171 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: stealing cars and you know, being heroin or whatever. It's like, 172 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: I don't know. 173 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 8: And and the fact that she's a homebody and introvert, 174 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 8: that shouldn't take away the fact that he doesn't get 175 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 8: to hang out with anybody anymore. 176 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: She shouldn't turn him into an introvert. That's not right. 177 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: Yeah eight five five five one three five. You can 178 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: call him text the same. I know people have been 179 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 1: through this, Emma high Hi, Hey, good morning. What do 180 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: you think I. 181 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 9: Think he should talk to her? That happened to me 182 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 9: and I moved from another country and she wanted me 183 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:17,880 Speaker 9: to meet his friends and be around people, you know, 184 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 9: because I didn't know anyone in here, and everybody was awful, 185 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 9: including him, But because everybody was drunk, all the time, 186 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 9: I didn't have anything in common with them, and I 187 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 9: kept telling him and we got in tired. And then 188 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 9: one day he was ober at the party and he 189 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 9: saw what I saw, and then everything changed and I 190 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 9: don't mind. He still doesn't coat with them, but it's 191 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 9: just I just don't have anything in common with them. 192 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but if he if. 193 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 9: He wants to, if she doesn't want him to see them, 194 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 9: that's another thing. 195 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 1: I mean, they have to comparnmentalize a little bit. But 196 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 1: a life where there's your your significant other has nothing 197 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 1: to do with your social group is that's not sustainable. 198 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: It's not gonna work. Emma, thank you, have a good day. 199 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,439 Speaker 9: Thank you. 200 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 1: The other thing is people are oftentimes the most authentic 201 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 1: when they're around the people they've known the longest. Yeah, 202 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: and so if you don't like that version, then that 203 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: you probably don't really like this guy fundamentally or girl 204 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: for that matter. 205 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 10: And your friends sometimes are more permanent than your relationship. 206 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: It's like especially their childhood friends, you know. Yeah, you 207 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 1: can't ask someone to push their their friends away. And 208 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: because you don't like, you don't like again, if it's 209 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,320 Speaker 1: like deep character issues, I mean, you hear about that 210 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: sometimes where it's like I really wish you wouldn't hang 211 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: out with so and so because they're a bad influence 212 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: or because they get you in trouble, or because they 213 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: don't they don't think about the repercussions or how it's 214 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,280 Speaker 1: going to affect your life or this relationship. Like that 215 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: I understand, But that's why I ask that question, because 216 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,719 Speaker 1: you know, it's like, no, we're not doing that kind 217 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,640 Speaker 1: of stuff. I mean, if he's being honest, then she 218 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 1: did done. Like these people, I kind of wonder if she, 219 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: like anybody. 220 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 11: Exactly the same thing, because to me, the issue was 221 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 11: very like surface level, like they're loud, Like okay, like 222 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 11: a group of guys is loud, Like that doesn't. 223 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 12: Be anything different if some like Mike will be upset 224 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 12: if someone does something to. 225 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: Me and treats me bad, and then you know. 226 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 12: He's not liked all of my friends or everyone and 227 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 12: vice versa, Like I'll be like, why do you still 228 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 12: talk to this person like they've done X y Z 229 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 12: blah blah blah. But I'm also a firm believer and 230 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 12: like not everyone has to go to everything, so like fact, 231 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 12: he doesn't have to come to everything that I do 232 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 12: with my friends and vice versa. But I know that 233 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 12: if it was something that like I wanted him to 234 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 12: go to, he would, But he, you know, might not. 235 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,920 Speaker 1: Care for everyone if he had called and been like, 236 00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,640 Speaker 1: my friends get me in trouble, or my friends encourage 237 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: me to do bad things, or my my friend, you know, 238 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,680 Speaker 1: one particular friend uses me or is mean to me. 239 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 1: You know that I would understand why she might have 240 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: an issue with that, or a partner might have an 241 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: issue with that, because sometimes it's clearer for other people 242 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: to see the manipulation or the damage that another person 243 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: is doing than it is for you because you're in 244 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: it right. So like I can sit back, or my 245 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: for example, can sit back and say this person is 246 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: an a hole, but you have this long time with 247 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:06,560 Speaker 1: them and you're not. You don't want to see that. 248 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 1: But that's one person. She don't like any of them, 249 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: So I don't know how you overcome that. Hey Gina, 250 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 1: good morning, good morning. Hey what do you think good morning, 251 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,120 Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. 252 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 4: I think it's an immediate red flag if your partner 253 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:26,679 Speaker 4: cannot support healthy relationships that you have outside of the 254 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,199 Speaker 4: relationship the two of you have. 255 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 6: Yep, my husband and I. 256 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,079 Speaker 4: We both have friends that we don't like of each other. 257 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 4: But if he wants to hang out with those friends, 258 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 4: he both out with his friends by himself and I 259 00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:43,440 Speaker 4: find something else to do, and vice versa. Have some 260 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 4: give and take. 261 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, and all we all know the relationship. We all 262 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: of us who've been in relationships know that there's always 263 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: at least one friend. You're like, oh, we have to, 264 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: but you do it. But again, it's one person. It 265 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: can't be all of them parties and stuff like that. 266 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 2: His friends, his friends that I don't particularly like to. 267 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,959 Speaker 4: Find time with, are so invited because that's what you do. 268 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 2: For your significant others. 269 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 3: That's what that's hell really diffient work. 270 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and trust me, I want the person i'm dating 271 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: to have a social life outside of me for a 272 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,640 Speaker 1: lot of reasons. One because otherwise it's like I gotta 273 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:28,839 Speaker 1: can relate to that for my fiance. Yeah, please, no exactly. 274 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,640 Speaker 1: Otherwise every aspect of your life flows on me, and 275 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: that's also not sustainable. One human, you've got to have 276 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: an outlet. 277 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: But it's the whole idea that I'm missing in your universe. 278 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: I don't like that I had a life before you. 279 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 2: You had a life before me and we will find a. 280 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:47,560 Speaker 4: Way to make it work. 281 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: Amen, Thank you, Thanks, have a great day. So what 282 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,120 Speaker 1: do you do? Like you call a couple of his 283 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: buddies and go, hey, me and Hobby and Hooters a 284 00:12:58,160 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: new one for the game and there'll be wings and 285 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: beer there and party favors pretty much. 286 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 11: I don't go through the friends because like they'll probably 287 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 11: be like, well the hell, But I go to Hobby 288 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 11: and I'll say, you know what, there's a game on 289 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 11: it didn't you friends the other day? 290 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: I bought them cop tickets one time in Milwaukee. 291 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,079 Speaker 11: But you have some time to meet. 292 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,719 Speaker 1: You're gonna love this game in Phoenix. It's he's got 293 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: how many days out of the week? 294 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:23,800 Speaker 5: Not enough. 295 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, you can't wait for the rest. 296 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: The guy you're about to marry, isn't he gone like 297 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,839 Speaker 1: three days a week living at the firehouse pretty much? Yeah, 298 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 1: and you need more than. 299 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,760 Speaker 12: Four days straight, so yeah, like, oh my god, imagine days. 300 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 11: I know right, well, he's got five daily coming up. 301 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 11: They called the dailies, which is they have five days 302 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 11: in a row, and thus. 303 00:13:45,679 --> 00:13:53,320 Speaker 1: Are tom That's the week of her wedding, get married 304 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: in two weeks right. 305 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:57,240 Speaker 11: To say, like I like to fart in piece like 306 00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 11: it's fat. 307 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:57,839 Speaker 4: No. 308 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 1: No, I think I think about that all the time. 309 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,600 Speaker 1: I really do. Yeah, yeah, I think I think a 310 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: lot about my mannerisms and stuff that I'm just used 311 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: to doing because for twenty years I've been alone, and 312 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: everyone hears alone and they see that, they hear that 313 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:13,800 Speaker 1: it's a bad thing. But like no one's lived with me. 314 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 1: I'm typically not in you know, real serious relationships, and 315 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:18,480 Speaker 1: like I think about the stuff I'm just used to 316 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: doing now, yeah, you know, like my pigout sessions, my 317 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: you know, when I want a napp all day when 318 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 1: I'm having a bad day or whatever, and I don't 319 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: necessarily want to put it on for somebody else, you know. 320 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: But then you get and you get into a relationship 321 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: and now all of a sudden, it's like everybody needs 322 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: that time, but it's hard to get it. 323 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 2: It is. 324 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 11: It is emerging like two worlds, like they're colliding. So 325 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 11: now I'm trying to figure out my place. 326 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,320 Speaker 1: And it goes back to my theory guys, two house relationship 327 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,840 Speaker 1: with a tunnel connecting underground. 328 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 13: And only Fred has a lox. You could leave that 329 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 13: part out there, we don't have to announce that. Hey Allison, Hi, Hi, 330 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:02,560 Speaker 13: good morning. If you're just tuning in just to recap here. 331 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 13: This guy's upset because he's been to any woman for 332 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 13: eighteen months, a year and a half, and she didn't 333 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 13: like any of his friends, none of them. 334 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: None of his friends. And he's like, what am I 335 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: supposed to do about this? She claims that he's different 336 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: around them, but again, none of them are. Okay, what 337 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: do you do in this situation? 338 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,440 Speaker 6: I mean, I'm married to somebody who's a homebody. 339 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 9: He's not boring, so rufio, I don't know what that is. 340 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, I said the woman was boring. Now your husband, no, 341 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: I know that. 342 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 6: But listen, no, because he's got he's I mean, he's 343 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 6: got friends. But I mean, if you are working, are 344 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 6: if you're in a relationship working towards the marriage like 345 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 6: your college life style, the pory life I was going 346 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 6: to die out, So I mean, like, at the end 347 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 6: of the day, it's going to be the person who 348 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 6: you're with. So if she's that doesn't like you know, 349 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 6: his friends for a certain reason, like I stopped talking 350 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 6: to my childhood fronts because one they still live this 351 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 6: party life, Like I'm over that fathe and like the 352 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 6: majority of them either are deal with their you know, 353 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 6: living with their parents. Like there's just no growth. So 354 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 6: if there's no growth within yourself, like in your relationship, 355 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 6: why stay like, you know, why stay with those friends? 356 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 6: I mean, what a guy laugh about? 357 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: Alison? This is hitting home? No, these guys over here 358 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,560 Speaker 1: is hitting home for them for some reason. What are 359 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,400 Speaker 1: you laughing about it? Did you just fart or something? Yeah, 360 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: fart and piece around here too. I'll be honest, I 361 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,920 Speaker 1: think everyone's a little comfortable in here, but obviously here. 362 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 11: What Alison is saying, I think just because I'm at a 363 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,760 Speaker 11: different level of my life though I'm in a different stage, 364 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 11: that doesn't mean that my friends who maybe like aren't 365 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 11: married or engaged or have kids like that doesn't mean 366 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 11: like that they're still I don't know that party mindset. Like, Okay, 367 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 11: if they are, that's cool, you know what I mean? 368 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,600 Speaker 11: But like, do we connect at a higher level? 369 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,360 Speaker 1: Are we you know what I mean? 370 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,360 Speaker 11: Do I go to them for stuff that that I 371 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 11: you know, need or that like you know that they 372 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 11: help me? I don't know, just just pretty much like 373 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 11: be my No, of course. 374 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,840 Speaker 6: You know, yeah, of course, Like obviously you're gonna, like, 375 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 6: you know, see each other out like you've got experience 376 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 6: in some areas and you know you you're bond to 377 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 6: help each other in that way. But I'm just saying, like, 378 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:01,000 Speaker 6: you know, don't disconnect yourself at all. But at the 379 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 6: end of the day, like your relationship and if you're 380 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 6: working towards a marriage with somebody, that's going to be 381 00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 6: your number one priority. Like I know somebody said that, 382 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 6: like your friends are always going to be different chances, 383 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 6: that's not the case because they're going to do their 384 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 6: own life too, So I mean, you know what I mean, Like, 385 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,200 Speaker 6: if you're working towards the marriage and you care about 386 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 6: that and you want that, at the end of the day, 387 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 6: that's what should matter. 388 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Alison, have a great day. 389 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 9: Thank you. 390 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,360 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. See now, Rebecca, Hi, 391 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,400 Speaker 1: good morning. 392 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 3: Hi, good morning. 393 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 1: I'm feeling what you're about to say. Yeah, I'm feeling 394 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:32,360 Speaker 1: with you because but you heard me. I was prodding 395 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:35,320 Speaker 1: a little bit trying to get to this right. 396 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 14: So I mean, I honestly, I from my experience, I 397 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 14: believe that if she doesn't have a social life on 398 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 14: her own. 399 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 10: It's probably because all the attention is given to him. 400 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,879 Speaker 14: Okay, I mean so, I mean it's like, why is 401 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,440 Speaker 14: it all about him and his friends? 402 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: But you were saying, did you did you say to 403 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,840 Speaker 1: Ben something about how he maybe isn't telling the truth 404 00:17:57,880 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: about about what? 405 00:17:59,520 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 9: Right? 406 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 10: Like, yeah, he's not telling the truth. There's something he's hiding. 407 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: Obviously. She doesn't like her friends for a reason, like 408 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 1: his friends for a reason. Yeah, that's what I was 409 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,320 Speaker 1: getting at, was like, what are you guys doing that? 410 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,399 Speaker 1: She doesn't likee right, you know what I mean, like 411 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: all of them. I can't get over it. Yeah. 412 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,200 Speaker 4: Right. 413 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 14: From my experience as my ex husband, he had his 414 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 14: social life, he had his friends. 415 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:27,920 Speaker 2: I didn't hang around with them. 416 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 1: I didn't like them for the reason they there. 417 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 10: Were always a strip clubs, they were always drinking, they 418 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 10: were always either doing drugs, they always had a second 419 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 10: life outside their marriage. 420 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,880 Speaker 1: No, obviously, yeah I didn't. 421 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 6: I didn't like his friends. 422 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: And that's why I asked those questions that right, right, right, right, right? 423 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 7: Right? 424 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,879 Speaker 10: So if his friends for doing that, what makes me 425 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,520 Speaker 10: not think he's doing that as well? 426 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: Yeah? No, I get that. Thank you, Rebecca, have a 427 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: great tea. Thanks for listening. But yeah, That's where I'm 428 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,280 Speaker 1: at with this is like if they were if they 429 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 1: were cheaters and drug use us and going to you 430 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 1: know us, what's the difference. 431 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 8: He tried, he's tried to bring your into his ride, 432 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,160 Speaker 8: but it's not like he's like, no, you stay home, 433 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 8: I'm going out with my boy. 434 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:11,679 Speaker 1: You get to the hangout. You guys are laughing at me. 435 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 1: But if the hangout is a heroin Dan, every time, 436 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: I can understand what you know. 437 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,080 Speaker 5: This is a good man and he wants to include 438 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,720 Speaker 5: his girl with his friend and she need to get 439 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 5: her life together because she. 440 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: Sound boring and she sound mean. Nobody wants a mean 441 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,919 Speaker 1: l uh huh, except every time you got it's a 442 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: sex party. I don't think so. He related to me 443 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 1: was what's his name? What are these people's names? I 444 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: need to interview that person that really get to know 445 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,160 Speaker 1: this situation before I report back on it. The entertainer 446 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,160 Speaker 1: report is next.