1 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:09,720 Speaker 1: Hi. 2 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 3 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 2: and speaker. 4 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,560 Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, 5 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 3: writer and course creator. We are two working parents who 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 3: love our careers and our families. 7 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 8 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. 9 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long. 10 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 4: Term career goals. 11 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life. 12 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 2: Welcome the best of both worlds. This is Laura. This 13 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 2: episode is airing in mid September of twenty twenty five. 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,440 Speaker 2: I'm going to be interviewing Alyssa Black Campbell, who's the 15 00:00:49,479 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 2: author of Big Kids, Bigger Feelings about life with kids 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 2: in the elementary school years. She runs an organization called 17 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:01,600 Speaker 2: Seed and Sow, which is devoted to raising emotionally intelligent children, 18 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 2: which is certainly something I think we are all interested 19 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 2: in doing. What it is fascinating Sarah and I were 20 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 2: talking about this. We are starting to age out of 21 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 2: the elementary school years as parents, although we do still 22 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 2: have two our two little people who were born in 23 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: the course of this podcast existing Henry is five, and 24 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 2: a half and is starting kindergarten this year. 25 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 4: And Genevieve is seven, right. 26 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 3: Sarah, Yes, she is seven and she's in second grade 27 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:29,480 Speaker 3: this year. 28 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think about this. 29 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 2: I will have had an elementary school aged child from 30 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 2: twenty twelve to twenty thirty. 31 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 4: That is just quite the span. 32 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 2: It is quite the span, but we are definitely on 33 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 2: the back half of it at this point. 34 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 3: So that's sort of no bat, there's always been someone 35 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 3: in elementary school that's amazing. 36 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, it kind of is. 37 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 2: But well, what are you excited about? Was second grade 38 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 2: this year? I mean, what's on the docket for second grade? 39 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like Genevieve's gonna maybe like find her 40 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,720 Speaker 3: like thing. I mean, I'm very excited. She can read 41 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 3: well now, which is great. I think she's interested in 42 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 3: maybe doing some singing, and I've always been excited to 43 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 3: have somebody in my family sing since things to sing, 44 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 3: so that's. 45 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 4: Kind of fun. Yeah. 46 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 3: I just feel like she's coming into her own in 47 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 3: terms of like before when you're little, you're just sort 48 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 3: of doing things to try things, and now not that 49 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 3: she's like committing to some path for life, but maybe 50 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 3: finding things that she's more passionate about and maybe eliminating 51 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 3: some things that she's less passionate about. 52 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 4: We'll see. 53 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, no, I can't wait for Henry to learn 54 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 2: to read. I think it's highly likely it will happen 55 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 2: in the course of the year, just from my sort 56 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 2: of judgment of where he is currently on his letter 57 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: and word recognition and his interest in it. 58 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 4: He really enjoys being read to. 59 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 2: He and I have been working through the Magic Tree 60 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 2: House books, which is fun because we pretty much own 61 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 2: the whole set from Jasper was really into it back 62 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 2: in twenty twelve. So we are reading through those all again, 63 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:05,960 Speaker 2: although some have mysteriously gone missing. That's slightly annoying that 64 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 2: I'll like, have eleven in a row and then number twelve. 65 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 3: Is gone eBay Amazon, Yeah, you're got are hoping. 66 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:14,480 Speaker 4: Out with those? 67 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 1: Yeah? 68 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. And then we have a new series that we 69 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 2: are reading that I can highly recommend for people who 70 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 2: have either young readers or children who enjoy being read to, 71 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:28,119 Speaker 2: which is called The Dragon Masters. So some people who 72 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 2: had kids this age had recommended those to me, and 73 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: I'll pass that along because I also think they're really 74 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: well done. I think, especially if you have somebody who's 75 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 2: like a kindergartner or first grader who is reading pretty 76 00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 2: fluently but not quite at like Harry Potter level or whatever. 77 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 2: They're still exciting and they're magical and they're about eight 78 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: year old kids doing heroic things, and so we've really 79 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 2: enjoyed reading through those. I think we're a book like 80 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 2: sixteen in the series now. And then Michael's reading all 81 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 2: the Roald Dahl books. 82 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 4: Oh those are fun. 83 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, Danevieve is just stuck in Diary of a Wimpy 84 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 3: Kid lamb. 85 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 4: But later they really do absorb her. 86 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 3: I mean she'll sit on the couch for like hours 87 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,320 Speaker 3: and it's the cutest thing. 88 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, that one of my children was talking to me 89 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: about Ronald Dahl and I realized, yeah, rolled is. 90 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 4: A funny name. 91 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 2: And I'm sure that in their minds they just substituted 92 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: the end because it looked like a typo and that's 93 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 2: what they've been calling him. 94 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 1: Right. 95 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 3: I don't think that kid is the first one to 96 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 3: make that mistake, ye, exactly exactly. 97 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:29,640 Speaker 4: We're also starting music this fall. 98 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 2: He's going to be doing the junior choristers at church 99 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 2: and I just signed him up for piano lessons, so 100 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 2: that's exciting. We actually have the person who's gonna be 101 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 2: teaching him is the same person who teaches sam alto 102 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 2: saxon both saxophone and piano. 103 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 4: So that's exciting. 104 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah. 105 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 2: Well, anyway, we're gonna you have our episode here with 106 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 2: Alyssa Black Campbell talking about big kids and bigger feelings. 107 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 4: Well, Sarah and I. 108 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 2: Are delighted to welcome Alyssa Blast Campbell to the show. So, Melissa, 109 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 2: why don't you say hello to our listeners. 110 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: Hello, I'm jazz to be here with you. 111 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,599 Speaker 4: Yeah, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? 112 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 1: Sure? Yeah, I'm a mom of two humans. We live 113 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 1: in Burlington, Vermont. I have a little boy and a 114 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,279 Speaker 1: little girl who could not be more different from each other. 115 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: It's fine. In addition to the parenting journey in too, 116 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 1: have like two very different humans. And I grew up 117 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: in Western New York. I have a master's degree in 118 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: Early childhood ED and I did research in building emotional 119 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 1: intelligence and kids. And now I have the privilege of 120 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: sharing that information with the world. 121 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,039 Speaker 4: Yeah, how old are your kids now? 122 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: My daughter's a year and a half and my son 123 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,200 Speaker 1: is four and a half. 124 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 4: Okay, so still a little guys, Yeah, a little one 125 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 4: at this point. Yeah. 126 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 2: Well, so I guess that raises the obvious question. In 127 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,679 Speaker 2: your new book, you've been tackling the elementary years. 128 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 4: What led you to that topic. 129 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, we do the bulk of our work at Seed 130 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,279 Speaker 1: and so I founded Seed and So to share this 131 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:03,840 Speaker 1: work of raising mostly intelligent humans. The bulk of our 132 00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,840 Speaker 1: work is in elementary schools. So we're doing this with 133 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: teachers and families in the day to day at work. 134 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: And after I published Tiny Humans, Big Emotions, which is 135 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: my first book, we got so many comments from folks 136 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,560 Speaker 1: who were like, this is so helpful. Also, why is 137 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: my nine year old a teenager? Like what do I 138 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: do with them? And as we were doing all this 139 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: work in school systems and with families and then receiving 140 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 1: that information from folks after the first book published, we're like, 141 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: all right, it seems like there's a missing resource here 142 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: for middle childhood, and so we dove in and wrote it. 143 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, what are the most common challenges with kids 144 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: this age? 145 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: Sure, we we start to really see in this age 146 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,839 Speaker 1: is a real shift into identity of like who am 147 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,760 Speaker 1: I outside of the home? Who am I? In my 148 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: peer group. What am I interested in? All of a sudden, 149 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,320 Speaker 1: They're like, no, I want this pair of shoes, not 150 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,760 Speaker 1: that one, I want to do this thing. I'm interested 151 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: in that I want to hang out with these people. 152 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: And there's this real shift away from the home where 153 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 1: they are coming into who they are, and with that 154 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:11,280 Speaker 1: comes a lot of other shifts and changes. We're going 155 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: to see some hormonal shifts and changes that start in 156 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: this age range and that pull away from away from 157 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 1: home and into who they are and who they are 158 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: kind of trying on for size sometimes. And the thing 159 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: that we get the most questions about is the like 160 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: defiant disrespect, those eye rolls, the throwing the backpack on 161 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: the floor, the slamming the door. They're like, no, I'm 162 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: not going to do that, or I hate you, or 163 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:45,240 Speaker 1: you're the worst mom, And really like, how do we 164 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: respond to that disrespect in defiance and continue to nurture 165 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 1: our relationship with this child? A lot of folks are like, wait, 166 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: where did my sweet little kid go? 167 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, what are some good ways to connect with 168 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: kids in the sage? 169 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: Sure? Well, we talk a lot about in big kids, 170 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: bigger feelings. It's not a one size fits all. As 171 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: I said at the beginning, I have two very different 172 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: humans that I'm raising, and connection with both of them 173 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: looks very different. With one of them, connection looks like 174 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:18,560 Speaker 1: focus time with me, and as kids get older, humans 175 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: like this might really love things like being able to 176 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:25,320 Speaker 1: text you back and forth, or write a journal back 177 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 1: and forth, or leave notes back and forth, or have 178 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: time where you're driving in the car and it's just 179 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,200 Speaker 1: the two of you kind of chatting where they don't 180 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: have to look at your face to process how you 181 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: feel about something, but they can share stuff and kind 182 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 1: of have that connection time. We have some kids like 183 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: my daughter who is a big connection seeker, and for 184 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: her she's fulfilled. She's also a sensory seeker, so she's like, 185 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: give me like a hang, I want to be in 186 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,760 Speaker 1: a group. Hang, I want music going on, I want 187 00:08:57,760 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 1: to have a dance party. Like I don't need the 188 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: focused one to one time as much as I need 189 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: to be around other humans more consistently, really getting that 190 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,840 Speaker 1: connection bucket filled. I think the most important thing we 191 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,079 Speaker 1: can do, no matter who you're raising in this season 192 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: is to embrace curiosity that for so many of us 193 00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: we have our own experience of childhood that's going to 194 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: lead us into what we think our kids should do, 195 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: shouldn't do, should be interested in, shouldn't be interested in? 196 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: Who they should hang out with? What should matter? And 197 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: when we can recognize what's coming up for us from 198 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: our childhood, really get curious about who is the kid 199 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: in front of me, what are they into, and move 200 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: out of a place of judgment and decision making on 201 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 1: our side and into a place of like, tell me 202 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: more about what is coming up for you, or why 203 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: you want to hang out with this person, or what's 204 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 1: really appealing about this thing for you? And moving into 205 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 1: curiosity is one of the greatest gifts we can give 206 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: ourselves and our kid in terms of relationship in the season. 207 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 2: Absolutely, all right, Well, we're going to take a quick 208 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: ad break and then I'll be more back with more 209 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 2: from Alyssa Blast Campbell. Well, I am back talking with 210 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 2: Alyssa Blast Campbell, who is the author of the book 211 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:36,160 Speaker 2: Big Kids, Bigger Feelings about the elementary years. And you 212 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 2: were just talking about trying to not grasp onto whatever 213 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 2: you had going on as a kid and what you 214 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 2: were as a kid, because obviously your kids are entirely 215 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 2: different people. 216 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 4: Than you are. 217 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 2: But with that, a lot of the in the book, 218 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 2: you often have sort of scripts of people talking or 219 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 2: things that they've been saying with their kids, and sometimes 220 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 2: people are telling stories from their childhood like oh yeah, 221 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: I used to think this and did this with Grandma, 222 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 2: or I did this or I felt this. I'm curious, 223 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,439 Speaker 2: how does one gauge when it's right to bring in 224 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 2: something from your own life and when that risks coming 225 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 2: across as well? 226 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 4: And I was your age, I did. 227 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:18,679 Speaker 1: You know this? Sure, sure, sure, I appreciate this question. 228 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: So when we're doing it from a place of this 229 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: is right or this is wrong because this is what 230 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: I experience, that's much different than sharing with our kids, 231 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: Ah yeah, I remember when I was a kid and 232 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 1: this came up for me too, and sharing a story 233 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: with them about your experience rather than I'm parenting from 234 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 1: a place of this is what is right or what 235 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: is wrong because it's what I've experienced. Sharing stories with 236 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 1: our kids about our experience can be so powerful for 237 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 1: them to know that they're not alone, They're not the 238 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: first person to ever experienced this. And if it's really 239 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: from a place of connection of like, oh yeah, I 240 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 1: know what that feels like or I remember going through 241 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 1: something like that too, And different kids receive this differently, 242 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: and you start to learn that real young before they 243 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: are five years old, you already know if you have 244 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 1: shared with your kid and to like, no, that's not 245 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,280 Speaker 1: what it's like for me, or you don't understand at all, 246 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: then this is not an approach I would use with 247 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: this child. This is not a way that they feel connected. 248 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: We talk about the connection blueprint in this book, and 249 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 1: part of that is really observing when you are trying 250 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: to connect with your child. Is it something that they 251 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: receive as connection or do they pull away from you? 252 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: All right, well, let's talk about One thing that makes 253 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,160 Speaker 2: kids pull away from you is when they suspect that they. 254 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:39,640 Speaker 4: Are in trouble. 255 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 2: Sure, and so one of the helpful phrases in Big Kids, 256 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 2: Bigger Feelings is you're not in trouble, So explain why 257 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,320 Speaker 2: you're not in trouble is a bit of a magic 258 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 2: phrase for opening up. 259 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I mean, if you imagine if I come 260 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: into a room and you're doing something, maybe it's something 261 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: you know you're not supposed to do, and I came in, 262 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, what are you doing in here? And I 263 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: come in with this like power over tone, body language. 264 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: What happens on a neurobiological level for you is that 265 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: your nervous system says, WHOA, I'm not safe with this person. 266 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my guard up right. Do not let 267 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 1: your guard down because you're not safe with this person. 268 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 1: Don't be vulnerable with them. Don't share your honesty, your 269 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,240 Speaker 1: truth with them. You might get in trouble for it. 270 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:28,520 Speaker 1: It is then worth it often to lie, because if 271 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: you tell the truth, you're going to get in trouble. 272 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: When we come in and I say, man, I just 273 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 1: got off the phone with your teacher and she called 274 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: to say that you haven't been turning in your homework, 275 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you. You're not in trouble. I 276 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: want to help you figure this out. That I know 277 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: that there are things that you want to do, and 278 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: that some of those things require you passing this class. 279 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: You wanted to play basketball, and in order to play basketball, 280 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: you have to and grades for it. So I want 281 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: to help you figure this out, not mad at you. 282 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: I know that you want to make a kind choice, 283 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 1: or the choice that's going to be right for you, 284 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: and it seems like that's hard, right now, let's figure 285 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: it out together. In that then kids are safe to 286 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:16,680 Speaker 1: be honest with you, be vulnerable, say like yeah, when 287 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,560 Speaker 1: I'm in class, I'm not understanding anything she's saying, I 288 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 1: can't do the homework, I'm not getting it, and be 289 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: able to open up and share with you, Versus if 290 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: they're going to be in trouble for something, it is 291 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 1: not worth it for them to share with you, to 292 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: be honest with you. It's more worth it for them 293 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 1: to lie. 294 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you said that lying is because lying is 295 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 2: another thing that happens frequently with kids in this stage, 296 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 2: but that's often a function more of a self regulation 297 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 2: than it is of being malicious, at least in this 298 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 2: sort of five to ten year old age group. 299 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, it can serve both purposes. It could serve the 300 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: purpose of like self protection, right in a few different 301 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 1: ways of like I don't want to feel embarrassed. Right 302 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: If somebody's like did you far and you're like in 303 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: a few pats and they're like, oh yeah, yeah exactly, 304 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: like they're like no, not me, then it's worth it 305 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,560 Speaker 1: for them to lie even if they did. Right. So 306 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: there's times where it might be self preservation in that 307 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: terms of like am I going to feel embarrassed by this? 308 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: Is this something? Or is this something that's gonna get 309 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: me in trouble? And when we're looking at malicious lying, 310 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: I don't believe in it actually across the board, to 311 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: be honest, I think it always serves a purpose that 312 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: we lie for a reason. And it might be to 313 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,880 Speaker 1: try and get something that they're hoping to have so 314 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: that they could feel included in a group. It might 315 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: be because they're exhausted and you're like, did you brush 316 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,120 Speaker 1: your teeth? And they're like yes, and they didn't, And 317 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,000 Speaker 1: they're really just saying I'm so exhausted and spent from 318 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: the day that I don't have the capacity to go 319 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: brush my teeth. But when we can get curious about 320 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: like why would they be lying here? What's driving that? 321 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: There's always a reason driving that life. 322 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 4: Well, let's talk about that exhaustion thing. 323 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 2: Because you have an acronym, I believe facts of the 324 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 2: thing that you could try going through. If a child 325 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 2: is having a self regulation issue, if they're having a meltdown, 326 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 2: what the things that might be to blame at the moment, 327 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 2: or what they might need. 328 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, we can dive into the facts, and it's both 329 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 1: reactive and proactive. So if you're like, Hi, I want 330 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 1: to make sure my kid is set up for success, 331 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,360 Speaker 1: whether it's going to school or going to do homework 332 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: after school, or it's going into any sort of social situation, 333 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: you're like, I'm going to make sure they're set up 334 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: for success from a regulation standpoint, that they're basically as 335 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 1: resourced as possible. We're going to go through the facts 336 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 1: proactively and then reactively in the moment when they're having 337 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: that hard time, I'm going to start with the facts. 338 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 1: What we're looking at here is how's their nervous system doing? 339 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 1: What do they need? So we kickstart with food. When 340 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: it was the last time they had food that's going 341 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: to nurse their body? Are they angry right now? Are 342 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,840 Speaker 1: they coming home from school and they like need a 343 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 1: snack and instead of being like I'm hungry, they are 344 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: doing things to their sibling that's annoying, or they're throwing 345 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,560 Speaker 1: their backpack on the floor, they're rolling their eyes that 346 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: you really they just need a snack. So are they hungry? 347 00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 1: When was the last time they had food that nourishes them? 348 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 1: A activity? When was the last time they moved their 349 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: body or had access to activity that's regulating for them. 350 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 1: We have a QR code in the book that you 351 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,840 Speaker 1: can scan and it goes to seed quiz dot com. 352 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: It's a free questionnaire for any age human including adults, 353 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: can take it. You take as many times as you want, 354 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: and what it does is help you understand your unique 355 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: nervous system that what's regulating for one human is not 356 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:36,160 Speaker 1: necessarily regulating for the other. For instance, I am regulated 357 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: by properceptive input. This is like big body play or 358 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: deep pressure. I love a workout class like kickboxing or 359 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: something where I can run or jump or kick or hit. 360 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 1: I love that pressure. I love a massage. I love 361 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: having like a kid on my back for like a 362 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:56,360 Speaker 1: piggyback ride. Those are regulating things for me. My husband 363 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 1: is regulated by vestibular input. This he sits in like 364 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: a swivel chair for work, so he can move throughout 365 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 1: the day in a way that's regulating for him. I 366 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,679 Speaker 1: get motion sickness or nauseous if I'm sitting in that 367 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: swivel chair for too long. So the activity piece is 368 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,520 Speaker 1: really customized to that human. And you can go to 369 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,399 Speaker 1: seed quiz dot com and learn more about your unique 370 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: nervous system or your kids to know when was the 371 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: last time they had activity that was regulating for them? 372 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:27,159 Speaker 1: See is connection? Are we providing them connection in a 373 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: way that they receive it? So we talked a little 374 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: bit about that connection blueprint, really looking at how do 375 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 1: they feel connected. Are they a human who's like, yes, 376 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: sit and talk to me, or like, let's go to 377 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: this event together and We're hanging out with all these 378 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,719 Speaker 1: people and I leave and I'm like, oh, my connection 379 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: cup is so full? Or are they a human who's 380 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: more of a like one to one kind of smaller, 381 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: quieter time connection person. And maybe you're like, yeah, we 382 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,720 Speaker 1: just like hung out and went shopping for an hour 383 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: and a half and your child's like, yeah, don't. Then 384 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,680 Speaker 1: we get home and they're like, mom, watch this, Mom, 385 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: can you come see this? I just spent an hour 386 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,240 Speaker 1: and a half with you and they don't feel filled 387 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: by that. So really helping you understand like how does 388 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 1: your unique child receive connection? And then we have twoe out. 389 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: Tune out is where we are taking a break from stimuli. 390 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: It's giving our nervous system. Even one minute is so 391 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: powerful it would mean all screens away and in a 392 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 1: space where we don't have like background noise happening, just 393 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,400 Speaker 1: giving your brain and body a break from processing all 394 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 1: the stimuli around you. Imagine like I definitely have felt 395 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: this is a mom so many times where I'm like, 396 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: I just want to lay in a dark room where 397 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,199 Speaker 1: noone's talking to me or touching me, or needing anything 398 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,439 Speaker 1: for me, say in my name, and just to be 399 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,920 Speaker 1: for a minute. Even one minute of this is powerful. 400 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:52,880 Speaker 1: And then we look at sleep. Are they just tired? 401 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 1: Are we trying to have them do things and they're 402 00:19:55,400 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 1: like I can't, I'm spent and I just need to 403 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 1: go to sleep. And we're going to see this in 404 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 1: times of transition. This could be back to school, it 405 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,159 Speaker 1: could be a new classroom. It could also be shifts 406 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,040 Speaker 1: into a new activity or club or sport or new 407 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: friend group and they're working so hard all day long 408 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 1: that they don't have much left to give and they're 409 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,240 Speaker 1: just exhausted. 410 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, sleep is something that makes a lot of 411 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 2: us krabby. If we are not getting enough. I wonder 412 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 2: we could talk and pivot to some scripts that we 413 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 2: can help children use if other people are doing things 414 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,680 Speaker 2: to them, like peers are doing things that are mean 415 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,640 Speaker 2: to them if they don't like a situation at school, 416 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 2: rather than just sort of lashing out to what are 417 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 2: some scripts we can teach them. 418 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, so we can teach them to be really direct. 419 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:47,159 Speaker 1: We have kids like beating around the bush with things, 420 00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: and what we have found so successful in our work 421 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,920 Speaker 1: with kids is having them say things like I don't 422 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: like when you do that, or when you are all 423 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,480 Speaker 1: together in this group chat and I'm not invited, I 424 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 1: feel left out. Often when kids are really direct about 425 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:08,600 Speaker 1: their feelings, I feel this other kids are really receptive 426 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: to it, that they will say things like, oh, we 427 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,159 Speaker 1: didn't mean to leave you out that. Of course, we 428 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: walk through the world, and especially in this middle childhood 429 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,919 Speaker 1: time where we think everyone's looking at us and thinking 430 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,640 Speaker 1: about us all the time. Right, we just were at 431 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:28,040 Speaker 1: a like hang with some new folks recently we left 432 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, I said the 433 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: stupidest thing and like replaying it in my head, and 434 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 1: my husband was like, that person probably doesn't even know 435 00:21:34,080 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 1: you exist anymore, Like they're not thinking about you. And 436 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 1: same with our kids right that, like they are thinking 437 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: that everything is happening to them because everyone's thinking about 438 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 1: them and so when they can say things like I 439 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,160 Speaker 1: feel left out. When this happens, often what we hear 440 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:53,520 Speaker 1: is other kids saying things like, oh, I'm sorry, we 441 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: didn't mean to leave you out, or yeah, we'd love 442 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 1: for you to come join, or yeah, well when you 443 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,360 Speaker 1: were saying X, Y and Z to this kid, they 444 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,119 Speaker 1: didn't like that, so we didn't include you. They get 445 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 1: more to what's actually going on when we can give 446 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,440 Speaker 1: them those direct scripts to say with I feel language. 447 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's a good idea for an adult as well. 448 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 4: We'ren take one more quick. 449 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,679 Speaker 2: Ad break and I'll be back with more from Alyssa 450 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 2: Blast Campbell. Well, I am back talking with Alissa Blast Campbell, 451 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 2: who's the author of Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, which is 452 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 2: a book looking at the elementary year sort of roughly 453 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 2: ages five to ten, eleven, twelve. But before we get 454 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,679 Speaker 2: to the whole teenagerdom and all that might involve, I 455 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 2: think a lot of parents, especially when you think about 456 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 2: what kind of kids they're trying to raise, what they say, 457 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 2: I would really like to raise a kind person. So 458 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 2: I wonder what are some practical strategies we can do 459 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,880 Speaker 2: in our daily lives to teach kids about kindness, sympathy, 460 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 2: things like that. 461 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, the most powerful thing you can do is model 462 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:11,680 Speaker 1: it that they are always listening all the time, whether 463 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:15,440 Speaker 1: they are in conversation with us or not, they're hearing. 464 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,199 Speaker 1: How do we talk about people who are not in 465 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:21,359 Speaker 1: the room. What do we do in our everyday life? 466 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:23,640 Speaker 1: He shared a story in this Book of Time where 467 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: I was leaving the grocery store with my child and 468 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,360 Speaker 1: there's this mom who was just in it. She's got 469 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: three kids, everyone's melting about different things, and my son 470 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,840 Speaker 1: and I just I said, come on, bud, let's go 471 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: help her. And we popped over and we helped her, 472 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 1: and we took some groceries, took kids, we tagged, teamed 473 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: basically this whole situation with her. And on the way home, 474 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 1: he asked why I did that? Why did we stop 475 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: and help them? And I got to tell him, because 476 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,600 Speaker 1: nobody's doing this alone, that everybody helps each other and 477 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: it's one of the ways that we're kind in this world. 478 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,359 Speaker 1: I could tell him to do things all day long 479 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,640 Speaker 1: that are kind for other humans. The most powerful thing 480 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,400 Speaker 1: I can do is to be kind to other humans, 481 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 1: to hold that door, to say thank you to somebody, 482 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: to be accountable for my own actions, to say like, 483 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:21,359 Speaker 1: oh man, I was having a hard time earlier and 484 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 1: I lost my cool with you, and I'm really sorry 485 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:27,480 Speaker 1: that wasn't okay for me to do. Having accountability for 486 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 1: our actions is one of the kindest things we can 487 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 1: do for the humans around us, And if we want 488 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: to teach that to kids, we've got to model it. 489 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: When we treat them and others around us with kindness, 490 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:41,159 Speaker 1: they start to treat others with kindness. That a kid 491 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,280 Speaker 1: is not going to be respectful and kind if they've 492 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 1: been disrespected and we're not kind to and around them. 493 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: So the greatest thing to do is to practice it. 494 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 4: Yeah. 495 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,359 Speaker 2: Absolutely, So this is an age where I mean, people 496 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 2: are starting to get sort of the executive functions to 497 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: start thinking a little bit more about the future versus 498 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,640 Speaker 2: what is right exactly in front of them. I wonder 499 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 2: if there's ways you can think about, especially as kids 500 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 2: are in school and trying to think about longer term 501 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:17,000 Speaker 2: things like a weekly assignment, for instance, or maybe a 502 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 2: quiz that the teacher has said is coming up in 503 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,919 Speaker 2: a couple days. What are some ways to sort of 504 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: help support them as they begin to think about time 505 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 2: on a longer time horizon. 506 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean time management is such a valuable skill 507 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: in life, and it's not something that necessarily just comes right. 508 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 1: It's not like, oh, you're old enough, now you have 509 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,159 Speaker 1: time management skills. I know a lot of adults that 510 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 1: don't have time management skills. You don't just hit a 511 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 1: certain age and get it. So really being able to 512 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,439 Speaker 1: what we call scaffold them through this where if you 513 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:48,879 Speaker 1: think of a building where you're building it and they 514 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 1: put scaffolding up until that part of the building is done, 515 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 1: they keep that scaffolding up and then they pull it 516 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: back when the building can stand on its own. That's 517 00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 1: what we're looking at here is how can we build 518 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: in scaffolding them. How can we give them tools? Like, Hey, 519 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: I noticed that you have this assignment due next week, 520 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 1: this paper you're working on. Let's sit down and look 521 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 1: at the calendar and we can together right in where 522 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: you're going to work on it? What times are you 523 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: going to work on it? Oh, it looks like we 524 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 1: have music class after school on Tuesdays, so that probably 525 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: isn't a great night for it. And then we were 526 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: going to that soccer game on Saturday morning. That's probably 527 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,000 Speaker 1: not a great time for it. Let's look at the 528 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 1: calendar together and think about, hmmm, when are you going 529 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: to have time to work on this so that it's 530 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:38,359 Speaker 1: not Monday night and you're like, oh shoot, I forgot 531 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,680 Speaker 1: to do this, mom, like I need your help now, 532 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,880 Speaker 1: and feeling overwhelmed. So really modeling this for them of 533 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,679 Speaker 1: let's look ahead, let's look at our week ahead. We 534 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: can also again and model this in our everyday life 535 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 1: of okay, you know what, we're going to sit down 536 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: and meal plan or do our grocery order for the 537 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: week and figure out we have what happening on what nights, 538 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 1: what are we going to eat for the week. How 539 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,400 Speaker 1: do we plan for that ahead of time? It's all 540 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:06,840 Speaker 1: away to model time management and then giving them those 541 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,959 Speaker 1: visual cues of are there post it note reminders, are 542 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,119 Speaker 1: there visual schedules? Are there calendars that are being used? 543 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: We use those as adults all the time. We joke 544 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 1: could see that if it's not in my calendar, it's 545 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,240 Speaker 1: not real, it does not exist. I will not just 546 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,919 Speaker 1: remember it. And so to expect a kid to just 547 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: remember that they have this test coming up without a 548 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: visual support tool is kind of blockers that were like 549 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,600 Speaker 1: you have to remember it. I won't ever remember these 550 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:36,119 Speaker 1: things because there's so much floating in librad but you 551 00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: should just remember without giving them visual tools is not 552 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: an appropriate expectation. So really looking at what can we 553 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: put into place for them structurally to help scaffold some 554 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:47,520 Speaker 1: of those skills. 555 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, although with kids this sage, I find that they 556 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 2: remember the funniest things. 557 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:53,880 Speaker 4: That's why that show are you Smarter than a fifth grader? 558 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 4: Is even a thing? 559 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 1: Right? 560 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 2: Remember the order of like all forty presidents or something, 561 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 2: Because they don't have to remember that I have a deadline. 562 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,199 Speaker 1: Like the same. I can't remember that my child is 563 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,720 Speaker 1: a dentist appointment next weekend unless it's in my or 564 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: next week. This is in my calendar. But I can 565 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: tell you some random facts of things that don't deserve 566 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 1: to have life in my brain. 567 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 2: The lyrics from US from late nineteen ninety six. 568 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 4: Yes exactly. 569 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 2: All right, well listen, this has been great. We always 570 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 2: end our interviews with a love of the week, so 571 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 2: something that is just exciting or fun for you. 572 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 4: Mine is so random. 573 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: But you know, we play a lot of I have 574 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,359 Speaker 2: a bunch of little boys, so there's a lot of 575 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 2: video games going on around here. But one of my 576 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 2: kids has been playing this game Grow a Garden that 577 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 2: happens to have the background nice. Is this like calm, 578 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 2: lovely classical music. I'm like, love, why don't you just 579 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 2: keep playing that one? 580 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: That background music is superior to the others. 581 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,160 Speaker 4: Much superior to Oh he's playing that. It's like nice 582 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,960 Speaker 4: in the car and so it's like dog dong dong. 583 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 4: It's like no, Yeah, I think like Vivaldi. So I'm 584 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 4: a big fan. How about you. 585 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,760 Speaker 1: I love the My love of the week right now 586 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: is Amy Polar's podcast Good Hang with Amy Polar. In fact, 587 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,720 Speaker 1: I was just saying the other day there's like a 588 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 1: big push for like watching podcasts on YouTube whatever, Like 589 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,560 Speaker 1: there's never a world in which I'm watching a podcast 590 00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: except for Amy Polars, which I watch on Spotify, And 591 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 1: it's like my pleasure. I at the end of the night, 592 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,840 Speaker 1: kids are in bed and I'm like doing the dishes, 593 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: like prop my phone up and just watch it while 594 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 1: I'm doing the dishes and loving it. She's so funny 595 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: and it's like the perfect light thing for the week. 596 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, well makes doing the dishes better, I guess not. 597 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,720 Speaker 2: Thanks Amy, Thanks Amy, So, Alyssa, where can people find you? 598 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:48,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, seedns sew dot org is our mothership. If anyone's 599 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 1: interested in bringing any of this work to their child's school, 600 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: there's tools and resources on our website for how to 601 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 1: do that and connect us to the school and we 602 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: can see if there's an interest there, and then you 603 00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: can snag Big Kids, Bigger Feelings wherever books are sold. 604 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,719 Speaker 1: And I read the audio book if that's of interest 605 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:06,120 Speaker 1: to you too. 606 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 2: All right, well, Lyssa, thank you so much for joining us. 607 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: Thank you, Well, we are back. 608 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 2: I was just interviewing Alyssa Black Campbell, author of Big Kids, 609 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 2: Bigger Feelings. So today's question was posted on our Patreon page. 610 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 2: One of our community members says she is a new 611 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 2: runner and is looking for advice on how to get started. So, Sarah, 612 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 2: I'm curious what your advice was for her. 613 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:31,280 Speaker 4: Yeah. 614 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 3: I mean, I think if you're a very brand new 615 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 3: beginning runner, checking out a training plan that's really simple 616 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 3: is a great idea like couch to five K is 617 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,800 Speaker 3: an excellent place to start, or a similar other beginner plan, 618 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 3: because it's just nice to have some structure around, Like, Okay, 619 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 3: how am I even supposed to go about doing this. 620 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 3: There is a sort of social media of running called Strava, 621 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,920 Speaker 3: which a lot of people enjoy. If you choose to 622 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 3: partake and you are a newer runner, just try not 623 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 3: to get caught in the comparison trap, because you're going 624 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 3: to see people who are fast and who've been doing 625 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 3: this for many, many years. And if you have a 626 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 3: positive attitude like oh, that's inspiring and cool, then it's great. 627 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 3: But I think some people also are like, oh that's 628 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 3: you know, I'm so much slower. No one cares, like 629 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,200 Speaker 3: none of us are pros. I mean you can follow 630 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 3: some pros. That's actually really fun and it puts everyone 631 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 3: else in perspective because if you're if you're following like 632 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,280 Speaker 3: Connor Mantz or something like that, and you see his 633 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,080 Speaker 3: like four fifty whatever, four thirty splits on his long run, 634 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,280 Speaker 3: then you're like, okay, like he you know, I'm just 635 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,960 Speaker 3: with all the other normal people, because that's so far 636 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 3: of up social runs. Don't say no to social runs 637 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 3: because you're scared you can't keep up. Like most people 638 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 3: don't care what pace they run, and a social run 639 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 3: always is just so much fun, like you can make 640 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 3: some wonderful friendships through running, and I think some people 641 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 3: get intimidated to try it, especially when they're newer. 642 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 4: If it makes you feel better. 643 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 3: I used to run with someone that was so much 644 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,720 Speaker 3: faster than me, Like literally, her half marathon race pace 645 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 3: was like two minutes per mile faster than mine. She 646 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:54,920 Speaker 3: used to run collegiately. She didn't care because we had 647 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 3: great talks and we had a great time. So if 648 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 3: she could run with me, you can run with whoever, 649 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,320 Speaker 3: and then be grateful that you can do it, because 650 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:03,360 Speaker 3: not everyone can do it. 651 00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 4: It's not the end'll be all. 652 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 3: You don't have to be able to do it, but 653 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 3: just getting out and being going for a run is 654 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 3: a gift, so try to appreciate it. 655 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say I never used any 656 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 2: of the running apps, and I'm trying to think back, 657 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 2: like when I was starting, I had to start a 658 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 2: couple times, like it took a while before I really 659 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:25,360 Speaker 2: started running regularly, And I think when I finally did 660 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 2: it was because I went slow and went for just 661 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 2: a little bit and then tried it again, and then 662 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,760 Speaker 2: eventually you can do it a little bit longer. But 663 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 2: it's not any sort of thing where you need to 664 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,280 Speaker 2: be aiming to do a lot right at the beginning, 665 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,520 Speaker 2: and you don't have to do it structured either. I mean, 666 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 2: I know that now because there is stuff like couch 667 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 2: to five k A lot of people do follow that. 668 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 4: But you can just put on shoes and. 669 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,320 Speaker 2: Run slowly for a little bit, see how it goes, 670 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 2: and then you're a runner. There's no barrier to entry 671 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 2: from that perspective. Walk brakes are allowed, by the way, yeah, 672 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 2: and walk breaks are allowed, and you can go very 673 00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 2: very slow, like there's no reason to like paul out 674 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 2: and then not be able to keep going or anything 675 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 2: like that. So but we were having this discussion on 676 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 2: Patreon because people are like mapping out runs and things 677 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,080 Speaker 2: like that, and I'm like, I don't think I've ever 678 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,480 Speaker 2: mapped out of run. 679 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 4: I don't know. 680 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 2: Even when I was training for races, I would sort 681 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 2: of have a time that I was intending to go, 682 00:33:28,440 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 2: but I wouldn't even always do that. I think a 683 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 2: lot of us, you know, it's always been a fly 684 00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 2: by the seat of my pants sort of thing for me. 685 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 3: If you're running somewhere unfamiliar and you just need like 686 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 3: a safe path, that's a great reason to like that's 687 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 3: when I've mapped out around I'm traveling, and I'm like, 688 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 3: where am I not going to like run into I 689 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,520 Speaker 3: don't know, like a place where I feel unsafe. And 690 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 3: then yeah, looking at a path and mapping it out 691 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,360 Speaker 3: can be super helpful. It's also fine to run loops, 692 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 3: like there's no rule against that. 693 00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 4: That's true. That's true. Loops are totally good. I like loops. 694 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 2: I like the loops, although you should know that you 695 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 2: may not do a second loop like you may. 696 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,160 Speaker 4: Some people loop and be like, yeah, I have done. 697 00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 3: My husband has that issue, like he feels like he 698 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,439 Speaker 3: has to map out a route that's not a loop 699 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 3: because all the rise will fill tup to the stop. 700 00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 4: I honestly never had that problem when I ran. But yeah, 701 00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,640 Speaker 4: you're mile loache Mayberry. 702 00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, I once did a loop where I because I 703 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 2: was it was like a two and a half mile 704 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 2: track or a loop with like a set trail, like 705 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 2: this is just a nature chill that's two and a 706 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,680 Speaker 2: half miles and I was trying to do ten miles, 707 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 2: so I was gonna have to do it four times. 708 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,520 Speaker 2: So I would stop about one hundred yards before I 709 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 2: could get like see my car, and I would reverse 710 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,280 Speaker 2: and then go the other way and then I stop 711 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,800 Speaker 2: again before the edit would reverse. 712 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 3: This is why I think you're like an upholder rebel 713 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 Speaker 3: sometimes like that's fascinating. 714 00:34:47,719 --> 00:34:50,560 Speaker 4: Well, you know it worked, it worked, I did it. 715 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:52,440 Speaker 1: All right. 716 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 2: Well, this has been best of both worlds. I was 717 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 2: interviewing Alyssa Black Campbell. We will be back next week 718 00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,720 Speaker 2: with more on making work and life fit together. 719 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,520 Speaker 3: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 720 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:09,160 Speaker 3: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 721 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 3: and you. 722 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,880 Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 723 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 2: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 724 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 2: us next time for more on making work and life 725 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 2: work together.