1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,040 Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if 2 00:00:04,040 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,239 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. You never know, it 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: could be yours Strawberry letter that Steve there, you go 8 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: share you I cannot with him subject I went back 9 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: to the streets too soon. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: thirty one year old single female and I just broke 11 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: up with my boyfriend after two years of dating. I 12 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: gave him all I could in our two years of dating, 13 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: and he didn't show up for me in a way 14 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,159 Speaker 1: that proved to me that he wanted to get married. 15 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: He kept on going to the club and hanging out 16 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: in the strip club. I couldn't get him to spend 17 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: time with me on the weekends, and I was done 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,959 Speaker 1: with fighting for his attention. A week after we broke up, 19 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: I had a party in a private room at a 20 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,280 Speaker 1: hookah lounge. He popped up and had a problem with 21 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 1: me being out so soon there was a life size 22 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,839 Speaker 1: picture of me in a corner with the words back 23 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: to the Streets on it. This is what he was 24 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: most offended by. He told me that he had hopes 25 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: of us getting back together, but this showed him that 26 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: I was really done with him. I was tipsy and 27 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: happy that he happened to come to the club that 28 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: night and saw me celebrating being free from a dead 29 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: end relationship. A few days after that, his mother called 30 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 1: me and said that her son, my ex boyfriend, felt 31 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: some kind of way about me celebrating our breakup. I 32 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: was respectful to his mother, but I felt justified in 33 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:52,200 Speaker 1: my actions. Now, a few months later, I do feel 34 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,040 Speaker 1: bad about claiming the streets, since nothing is in the 35 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 1: streets and men really don't want to commit to women nowadays. 36 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: I called to apologize eyes for embarrassing him, and he 37 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: wasn't trying to hear it. I told him that I 38 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: was willing to be patient with him, and he said 39 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: he's no longer interested. My mom said, he's using my 40 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 1: back to the Streets party as a way out because 41 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: he never because he wasn't ever planning to make me 42 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: a priority, and he was going to string me along 43 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: for a long time. Is my mom. Right, should I 44 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: stop asking him to come back? What? Yes, you should 45 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: stop asking him to come back. He told you he 46 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 1: was no longer interested. You felt justified in your actions. 47 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 1: You wanted to leave this dead in relationship. What has happened? Yes, 48 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: listen to your mom. Leave that man along. You were out, 49 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 1: you were free and clear, you were happy. Now you're 50 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: feeling guilty and feeling sorry for him. Believe me, that's 51 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: all it is. His ego wants you back just to say, 52 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: or at that time anyway, just to say he could 53 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:59,760 Speaker 1: get you back if you go back. He'll only do 54 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: the same thing to you. But remember he said he's 55 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 1: not interested. He hasn't changed. You're on your own and 56 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 1: your own. Mom said that he was never planning to 57 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: make you a priority. Believe her. He showed you in 58 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: his actions. All he wants is revenge. Right now, you 59 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: have to remember why you left him in the first place. 60 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: Remember what you said in the letter. He spent all 61 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: of his time at the strip club. He had no 62 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: time for you, especially on the weekends. He did this 63 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:31,080 Speaker 1: for two all years. So please wake up. Don't fall 64 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,639 Speaker 1: back into that old pattern you were in with him. 65 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: You were constantly fighting for his attention. Just go on 66 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: with your life. Forget him. He is no longer worth 67 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,960 Speaker 1: your time. You're still worried about him and what he's doing. 68 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,560 Speaker 1: You won't have time to meet someone new, Okay, so 69 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 1: let him go by Steve. Wow, easy letter to do. 70 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: She easy letter to do. Yeah, I went back to 71 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: the streets too soon. My response to that time is no, 72 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 1: you didn't. It's real easy. It's just amazing. I love 73 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: the way men switch it, flip it. I love it, 74 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: but it's even more of me amazing how when a 75 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: woman allows it because of your kind heart and always 76 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: trying to fix men and heal everybody, but shoot, you 77 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: wind up being the most injured all the time. If 78 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:33,560 Speaker 1: women focused on fixing themselves like they focused on fixing others, 79 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: that would be less damaged women in the world. Man, 80 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: don't let a man tell you twice he don't want you. 81 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: What is wrong with this? Now? You're thirty one year 82 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: a single female. You broke up with your boyfriend up 83 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,760 Speaker 1: two years a date. So for two years what did 84 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: he do? You gave him all you could for two 85 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 1: years a day. He didn't show up for me in 86 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: a way to prove that he wanted to give him 87 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: getting married, kept on to the club, kept hanging out 88 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,440 Speaker 1: that strip club, couldn't get him to spend time with 89 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,040 Speaker 1: you on the weekend, and I was done with fighting 90 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: for his attention. It took you two years to come today, 91 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:19,279 Speaker 1: but you did it in congratulations. A week after we 92 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: broke up, one week you had a party in a 93 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,160 Speaker 1: private room at a Hookah Lowns. He popped up and 94 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 1: had a problem with me being out so soon. How 95 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: could you get over me so quickly? Well, I've had 96 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: two years to get over you. You ain't been coming 97 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: here on the weekends. Now I'm throwing a private party 98 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: in the private room at the Hooka Lowns on week 99 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: end night. Now you're on a weekend. You're available now. 100 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: You know that was a life size picture of me 101 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: in a corner with the words back to the streets 102 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:10,920 Speaker 1: on okay, cool, great affirmation, positivity, funny, back to the street. 103 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,719 Speaker 1: That is what he was most offended by. You know 104 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:17,520 Speaker 1: why he was most offended by because he from the street. 105 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: He in the street. He knows what's in the street 106 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:24,359 Speaker 1: because he out there in him. He told me he 107 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: had hopes of us getting back together, but this showed 108 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 1: me that I was really done with him. Yeah, yeah, 109 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 1: And we wasn't really together though, right, we don't get 110 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,599 Speaker 1: back together, so you can ignore me for two more years. 111 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: All right, Hang on, Steve, we'll have part two of 112 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the 113 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 1: hour today Strawberry letter, subject I went back to the 114 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:52,640 Speaker 1: streets too soon. We'll get back into it right after this. 115 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: You're listening show, All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap 116 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: today Strawberry letter. The subject is I went back to 117 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: the streets too soon. Well, you didn't. Thirty one year old, 118 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: You dated a boy for two years. You gave him 119 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,840 Speaker 1: everything you could for two years. He stayed in the streets, 120 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,160 Speaker 1: kept going the clubs, kept going the strip clubs. Never 121 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: wanted to spend time with you on the weekends. You 122 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: couldn't get him to spend time with you, and you 123 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,600 Speaker 1: was done with fighting for his attention. Then a week 124 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: after y'all broke up, you threw a party in the 125 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: Pride Room matter who can lounge, had a big picture 126 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: of yourself up in the corner, says back to the street. 127 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: He popped up, which he ain't been popping up on weekends. 128 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: Where his ass come. He propped up at the party, 129 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: and then he said he couldn't believe he had a 130 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: hope that you always gonna get back together, but this 131 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 1: showed him that I was really done with him. He 132 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: didn't say I was wanting to be committed to you, 133 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: that I wanted to treat you right. Finally, all he 134 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: said was I want to get back together with you, 135 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: And all that means is I'm gonna continue to treat 136 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: you the way I've been treating you, and I just 137 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: want now you to be able to accept it more. 138 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: I was tipsy and happy that he happened to come 139 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: to the club that night and saw me celebrating free 140 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:15,200 Speaker 1: from a daddy relationship. And the reason you was happy 141 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: and admitting it, it's because you was tipsy. You probably 142 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: need to get tipsy a little more often then, because 143 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: if that makes you see what it is, better than 144 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,960 Speaker 1: go ahead. A few days after that, his mama called 145 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: me and said that her son, my ex boyfriend, felt 146 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: some kind of way about me celebrating our break up. 147 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: I was respectful to his mother, but I felt justified 148 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: in my action right and you were. But his mama 149 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: called and said her son felt sometimes so right, So 150 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: now everybody around him got the call on him. You 151 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: got to call on him. His damn mammy got to 152 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,680 Speaker 1: call you, tell her he's feeling some kind of way. 153 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: Give a damn about chill mammy calling me saying that 154 00:09:05,559 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: ragging ass some Why don't you ask him why we 155 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:14,160 Speaker 1: broke up? Calling me telling how he's feeling some kind 156 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: of way about celebrating our break up. Hen we couldn't 157 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: celebrate the relationship, might as well celebrate the break up 158 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: now a few months later, I do feel bad about claiming. 159 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: The street says nothing is in the street, and men 160 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,319 Speaker 1: really don't want to commit to women nowadays. You had 161 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: one who was in the streets who didn't want to 162 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: commit to you nowadays or none of the entire two years. 163 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: I called to apologize for embassing him, and he wasn't 164 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 1: trying to hear it. Man, this dude is manipulator at 165 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,920 Speaker 1: the highest level right here. He is a manipulator. So 166 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,280 Speaker 1: now he gonna he gonna make you crawl? How are 167 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 1: you sure you ain't gotta apologize for a damn thing 168 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: in bassing him? First of all, you didn't invite him 169 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:03,560 Speaker 1: to the party. He popped up and saw you back 170 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 1: in the street sign. Yeah, my mother said he's using 171 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: my back to the Street party as a way out 172 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: because he wasn't ever planning to make me a proud 173 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: and he was gonna string me along for another for 174 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: a long time. It's my mom, right, Your mother is 175 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,360 Speaker 1: one thousand percent? Yes, Oh, but I got news from here. 176 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: Should I stop asking him to come back now? You 177 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: need to stop being stupid, ask him to come back 178 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,320 Speaker 1: to do what you didn't like the two years you 179 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:39,079 Speaker 1: had with him. You want a relationship with a man 180 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: to stay in the club, to go to strip clubs 181 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: and don't spend time with you on the weekend. You 182 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 1: want that for what? Do I stop being? Stop being stupid? 183 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:53,560 Speaker 1: He wants you back to continue to going along with 184 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 1: what you've been going along with, and this time he 185 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 1: gonna do even more. You be a fool to go 186 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: back to this manipulation now. He is my best point 187 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:10,760 Speaker 1: for you. His mama called and told you her son 188 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: was hurt and felt some kind of way about you 189 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: celebrating y'all's break up. Yo. Mama called and said he's 190 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 1: using your back to the Street party as a way out, 191 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,400 Speaker 1: and he was never planning to make your broad and 192 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: he was gonna strain you alone for a long time. Now, 193 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,360 Speaker 1: you had two different calls from two different mamas. One 194 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,719 Speaker 1: of the mothers only has her son's interests at heart, yea, 195 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 1: And one of the mothers has his her daughter's interests 196 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: at heart. Which one sound better to your right? Let's 197 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:52,319 Speaker 1: see which one sound better to you? Two mothers called you? 198 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: Which one of these mothers called you? On? Yo behad? Yeah? 199 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: You know if hum, if this boy's mama was real, right, 200 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: you know what she just said. You know what, I know, 201 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: Deontay ain't been doing you right. And I know Deontay 202 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: has made some mistakes, but I think he might have 203 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 1: come to his senses. And you know he you a 204 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:23,440 Speaker 1: beautiful girl, and I love being around you. Just talk 205 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: with him and see maybe if he didn't grow up 206 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 1: behind this cause Deontay just sitting around moping, he ain't 207 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 1: been the same. That's what the phone call that could 208 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:37,200 Speaker 1: have made sense to you, right, But this other phone 209 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 1: call she made quit taking his health was call. But 210 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: he himself told, tell your mammy, don't call me no 211 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: damn mo oh love it or better yet? Yeah, your mama, 212 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 1: Deontay mama noum leave Leave, leave us your comments on 213 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram, at Steve Harvey fm dot com, 214 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 1: and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. Coming 215 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 1: up next, pregnant Abby de LaRosa defends her polyamorous relationship 216 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: with Nick Cannon. Oh really, we'll find out what that's 217 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: all about right after this. You're listening to The Stave 218 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.