WEBVTT - LS Episode 505: Cheating & Starting Over (Feat. Drew Sidora) 0:00:01.960 --> 0:00:04.880 What's happen slip service, I'm ant in thee, I'm destiny. 0:00:05.200 --> 0:00:09.160 Andrew Sodora like that, say, have you seen the meme 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:11.640 going around at you like she's always been that girl? 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:15.640 No? Really on social media and they're posting like throwback 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:19.560 clips of you singing and acting and all of that. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:21.480 I've missed that one only I don't know why I 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:24.720 got a million girls said it to me. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:27.560 I have to see that, because I was like, there's 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:30.040 no way you haven't seen that. I have not seen that. 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.640 I need to see that. That's positive reinforcement that I 0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:32.880 need to. 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:35.160 Sometimes we focus on the negative. Because I also see 0:00:35.360 --> 0:00:37.760 people saying that you've been carrying this season on your back. 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:41.360 I've seen that. But how do you feel about that 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:45.360 heavy tire? No? 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:48.199 I mean, I'm appreciative to the fans. I feel like 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:53.080 the first and foremost the Bravo fans are unlike anybody. 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.120 Else, like they are ride or Die. 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.800 They are so invested, they're so loyal, and I just 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:01.040 feel like throughout these season, because we're so writing Season sixteen, 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:05.920 this season you know, Sweet sixteen, but they are, They're smart, 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:08.800 and I feel like now maybe things that people got 0:01:08.800 --> 0:01:09.399 away with. 0:01:09.360 --> 0:01:12.000 Before they don't get away with no more. Like the 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:13.280 fans are putting it together. 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:19.160 They are seeing what's real and what's not clocking everybody's tea, 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:21.880 and I just I see that because I do see 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:24.920 the comments where they're like, okay, you know, they're remembering things. 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:27.360 They're recalling things. They're like, nad you didn't say that, 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:29.960 or either all my girls, she didn't do this, or 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.679 I'm yeah. So I'm like, okay, I don't have to 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:36.360 defend myself so much because they see what's really real, 0:01:36.640 --> 0:01:37.039 you know, and. 0:01:37.400 --> 0:01:41.200 You're adjusted because I think coming in what season did 0:01:41.200 --> 0:01:44.920 you start on? I came in on season thirteen, season thirteen? Yeah, 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:46.640 that had to be difficult. 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:49.240 I remember wat seing season thirteen and being so annoyed 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.560 at I know, we hate to make but at Ralph 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:54.520 like traveling out of town and not answering and not 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.120 saying where he was going, and I was like, ooh, 0:01:56.160 --> 0:01:58.240 this ain't gonna like you could see it from then 0:01:58.280 --> 0:02:00.480 and then we see where we are now, you know, 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.520 So I really. 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:05.360 Let me tell you something. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.640 So when Destiny found out you were coming, she's going 0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:10.600 through some shit right in my house right now? 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:13.359 What in your high house? Why does that sound like 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:15.880 a children's book in my house? 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:19.400 I mean, I'm not married and I don't have children, 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:22.000 so I guess that's even more. But you have children, 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:23.880 not with him, no, not with him yet, but you 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.280 have children together. It's a little bit, but it also 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:30.760 teaches women like myself obviously not being married and not 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:33.280 having the children and not having that connection, shocking up 0:02:33.400 --> 0:02:34.200 is just not the way. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.000 Yeah, for her, that's the life. Your situation is different. 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:42.320 But yeah, everybody's situation is different, unique in its own way. 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:44.720 So how I used to compare like, oh, they got 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:48.000 it together and this is what they're doing. It's like 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.280 all that goes out the window, you know, because when 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:52.320 you're with your person or the person you think is 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.800 your person, you kind of start to learn what works 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:57.720 for you doesn't. And like, I've been married now ten 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:01.160 years going through this process. It is legit in years, 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.600 but you realize, like what works for other people does 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:07.560 not work necessarily for you. So all you can really 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:12.440 truly focus on is your own relationship. Create the boundaries 0:03:13.000 --> 0:03:15.440 and those things that you'll stand for not stand for, 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:18.360 and if it works, it works great, you know, but 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.440 if it doesn't, it's like at what point is your 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:21.079 breaking point? 0:03:21.200 --> 0:03:24.160 And then everybody's breaking point is different. Well, this man 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.160 won't get out of her house and you don't girl, 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.920 but a little bit. But it's a little bit different. 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:31.840 Here's the thing for me. 0:03:32.400 --> 0:03:35.760 I feel like, obviously you guys were married and at 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:37.240 some point we're in love. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:38.920 Are you still in love? 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:43.760 I will always love Ralph like the love is real, 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:48.000 the love was real and so forever will be. But 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:51.440 not in love. I would say, we know what that 0:03:51.480 --> 0:03:53.640 difference looks like. Yeah, it's a difference. 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:56.400 Yeah, because I mean people are like, listen, people are chatting, 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:58.360 They're getting confused. That was like, look, they was just 0:03:58.400 --> 0:04:04.200 upstairs in the kitchen cook the stag Rightidia tells such 0:04:04.240 --> 0:04:06.760 a different story life. Don't we always see the love 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:07.720 story on social media? 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:11.440 Anybody? Wait? They don't broke up when? How where in 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:12.120 the kitchen? 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.640 But also getting along for the kids is a mature thing, 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.839 thank you, So to clear that up. 0:04:19.080 --> 0:04:19.920 That was a moment. 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:23.880 It was a Memorial Day holiday, and you will see 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:28.520 even on this season of Housewives, we are moving towards 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:31.840 creating like a holistic co parenting relationship. 0:04:32.200 --> 0:04:35.640 That's it. We didn't work well, as you know, husband 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:36.200 and wife. 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:41.240 Nurse, right, But we have beautiful children, so let's focus 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:45.680 on co parenting and being great at that. And that 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:49.680 moment that you guys saw on social media was a 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:52.000 moment of hey, I made some mistakes for the kids, 0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:54.480 and I come upstairs and you know, give it to them. 0:04:54.520 --> 0:04:59.080 Cool, come upstairs? Can you come upstairs? 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:06.159 I granted access and boundaries. That's my boundaries holiday. And 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:09.400 actually his aunt was there. His aunt was the one recording. 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:13.599 So his aunt respectfully called me and was like, she 0:05:13.640 --> 0:05:15.600 didn't like what he tweeted about my mom and my 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.360 dad who passed away. So she was like, can I come? 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:21.000 And I need to talk to him. I missed the 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.760 kids and I just feel like this has gone too far. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:25.360 So it's like, you know what. She's like, I know 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.479 it's your weekend, can I come? She lives in South Carolina. 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:29.920 She's like, can I drive up there and just see 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:32.080 you guys? I was like yeah, So she comes. So 0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:35.760 she's recording and she's like, say hi to Helen, which 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:38.200 is his grandmother. So I'm like, hey, Helen, thinking we're 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:47.040 on FaceTime. She's recordings a little. I'm home in my 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:49.160 most vulnerable space. Obviously, I was looking a mess. 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:56.039 Viral. I didn't write I find out like viral. And 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:56.919 it was at this. 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:59.800 Moment you didn't even know that that was happening. You 0:05:59.880 --> 0:06:02.120 just thought that you were saying hello to a family. 0:06:04.000 --> 0:06:04.520 Intrusive. 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.160 I love her, so I don't want to say that 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:11.320 she intended or set me up anyway, but I assumed 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:14.920 she was facetiming. She had her phone out and I'm like, hey, Helen, 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:18.400 and he's like, call me daddy or whatever, and I'm like, no, 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:20.520 you're mister, You're Ralph. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:22.279 You can see it. I'm like, no, you're Ralph, you know. 0:06:22.760 --> 0:06:24.320 And then I'm cooking, so I got stuff on my 0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:26.320 hand and he's like, oh, you want to taste of steak. 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:29.160 I'm a foodie. Yes, someone tastes of steak. And I 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:31.560 tasted the steak. That was it. That was all. The 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:32.120 steak was. 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:36.680 Good, okay, but the only meat you taste it. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:37.440 Carried. 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:41.640 That's the only meat I was tasting. And it was tasty, 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:45.040 but it was just the steak t bone. Thank you 0:06:45.080 --> 0:06:48.159 with the But on the flip side, right, you have 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:51.960 an album out that I think people could really relate to. 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:55.640 But the songs on there feel like They're real. They 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:56.359 are you know. 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.640 But as I'm saying, like, because I think sometimes are artists. 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.320 What makes music hit is when you can be like, 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:04.600 I know what she's going through and she did this song. Girl, 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.480 I cold relate because there are people that can relate, 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:10.320 you can feel it to certain circumstances. And so in 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.160 a way, this album is kind of it's cost so 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:17.240 much drama, but it's also representative of things that you're 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:17.680 going through. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:20.520 It was and like anybody that knows me and has 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:23.440 followed my career, it's like I've been doing music my 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:24.040 whole life. 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:27.200 Literally, but I was like in the studio, like all right, 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:27.920 let's do this. 0:07:27.920 --> 0:07:30.520 This this music, let's make a hit record. Who just 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:35.760 sounds good? This album was like, Oh, I need to 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:38.320 go to the studio. I need to sing this song. 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:41.440 Even though it's coming from Dennis, who I didn't know 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.400 did music. I know he does great hot Dogs and 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:50.920 all the guys coming from As far as writing, he 0:07:51.000 --> 0:07:53.400 curated soul. Let me be clear, he executive produced my album, 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.880 but he curated it. He was not like the producer, 0:07:55.960 --> 0:07:58.400 but he did. He he knows a lot of producers 0:07:58.480 --> 0:08:02.320 who knew he has relations and music who knew, however, 0:08:02.960 --> 0:08:05.800 songs that he would listen to and and and get 0:08:05.840 --> 0:08:07.880 sent to him. He would send to me and I'm like, 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.320 this is good, Like I need to sing this song. 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.480 This is resonating with me in a different way. 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:16.040 Which what makes you most emotional. 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.320 It's two of them, which one I would say I 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:24.120 did it to me and Love for a Minute, because 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.920 like Love for a minute, I was in the booth crying. 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:28.800 I was like, I don't think I can sing this today, 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:31.480 and he was like, here's some nayak, here's some clean next, 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:34.560 let's go. And that song was very emotionally challenging. But 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.720 like the whole album, I can say is a representation 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:40.400 of like the journey I've been on and just the good, 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.000 the bad, the ugly how I felt on that particular day. 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:43.920 That's the song we did. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.080 I mean, when I listened to it, I felt like, 0:08:46.240 --> 0:08:50.640 good girl, Yeah that's my son, but we're not gonna 0:08:50.640 --> 0:08:51.199 do it now. 0:08:52.679 --> 0:08:56.240 On Instagram did she was like, do you get verse ready? 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:57.920 I would if you don't get out of here with 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:58.600 your verse. 0:08:58.440 --> 0:09:02.440 Ready, I will say is a lot of the songs 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:06.120 expressed how a woman, how women are feeling coming from 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.959 a hurting or a hurt point, you know, or going 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.720 through something. And it's more so if you're boosting them up. 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:13.680 Get your shit together, get your bag right, get your money, 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:15.960 worry about yourself. Yeah that's kind of what I got 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:16.520 from a lot. 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:20.120 Of the songs. I appreciate it. But you have been 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:21.760 getting into the bag all this time. 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:25.559 I mean you know, I have since I was eight. Yeah, 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:27.760 my whole life. You don't even know what we like 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.240 to get to thank you. 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:31.720 But when I got married, I was like, oh my god, 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:33.880 I have a husband. I can like not have to 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.600 worry about work so much, the pressure of that, and 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:40.720 just be domesticated. So I embraced that, like the motherhood, 0:09:41.200 --> 0:09:43.920 having my beautiful babies, learning how to do laundry, cooking. 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.960 I loved that because that was something I never had. 0:09:47.040 --> 0:09:47.680 I was like. 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.000 Completely just engulfed in work since I was a little girl. 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:54.839 But you still work, so that is dope. Now every 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:56.800 day is worried though, every day is work. 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:58.800 Like I took my moment and I was like, let's 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:00.680 raise this beautiful family. But I was like, I gotta 0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.880 get back to work because I'm passionate about what I do. 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:04.880 So I was like feeling like. 0:10:04.880 --> 0:10:07.280 A little void, you know what I mean, Like, I 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:09.079 know I need to get back to work at some point. 0:10:09.120 --> 0:10:11.880 I just didn't know when. And honestly, it was like 0:10:11.920 --> 0:10:14.800 a couple of movies I did. But then when Housewives called, 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:20.040 we moved to Atlanta and took that opportunity. Speaking of movies, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.760 you got a movie coming out in twenty twenty five, 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.079 a thriller scary due. 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:30.120 My favorite time. Really, Oh my god, listen to my house. 0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.840 I did, like, y'all want watch scary movie? So upset 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:38.600 Angela has me liking scary movies. Now. It's funing scary movies. 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:40.040 I would have to like to watch them, but I 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:42.240 usually don't finish them. I have to like wait till 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:45.200 the daytime and have friends over. And then that's not 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.160 and I do them, and I'm still like, but it's 0:10:47.200 --> 0:10:49.760 certain movies that I'm like, hold on, I can't figure 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:52.200 this one out. This is cool, Like certain ones that 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:54.439 are really really good. I'm like, yeah, no, I need 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.040 some backup because I can't wait for that. 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:57.400 All right now, listen. 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.400 I think that the other thing is ay, like on 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:02.480 this show, it makes it seem like you're dating this person. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:08.600 You're that person. You're yeah, take a little, but I 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:09.440 want to ask you. 0:11:12.520 --> 0:11:15.400 Because on the last episode what I noticed was this, right, 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.240 so Portia accused you of dating somebody, then you went 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.360 back and her. They didn't bleep the name out that 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.400 she said about you, but they was. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:28.400 That what was over that. I was like, Okay, I 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:32.520 see what's going on. So yes, they're linking me with 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.520 so many people. But yet and still I'm going mad. 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.560 Women I love them and I got a man living 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.800 in my basement. So this is when I want to 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:43.360 ask you because so many people, obviously we see like 0:11:43.400 --> 0:11:46.200 there's so much going on social media obviously, like there's 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:50.280 things happening with married couples Cardi pat and not. 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:51.920 Putting you in the same situation. 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:54.720 As them, But like, is it okay if you're over 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.160 the situation, if you both agreed that you're over a 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.880 situation to date and just do your thing, if you 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:02.920 agreed that, listen, we're finished. We are going to do 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.160 this divorce. We are going to be doing this, but 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:06.640 we can move on, yeah, can we? 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:10.920 Like you know, it's interesting, it's like very layered because 0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:14.160 we have had that conversation where it's like we didn't 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.840 work as this per se, So we're gonna work on that. 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:20.560 But like, knowing that it just didn't work out, we're 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.240 just we think differently. It ran its course. We loved 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:26.880 each other during that time, and you kind of suck 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.000 it up to that. But then there are times where you're, like, 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:32.600 before we joined housewives, like the things that people didn't 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:34.960 get a chance to see is all of the struggles 0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:37.600 that we dealt with in our marriage prior to like 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:41.000 when we were living in Chicago, Okay, living in Chicago. 0:12:40.880 --> 0:12:41.600 Going through it. 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:46.200 Women involved, you know, inappropriate behavior and the things that 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.000 as a woman, as a wife who was loyal in 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:52.200 this marriage, I had to deal with. And I think 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.320 just a lot of things get convoluted being on this 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:56.400 platform and a lot of things get thrown out there 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:59.440 that are just not true. It makes it hard to 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.400 even create a co parenting, cohesive relationship. So now on 0:13:04.480 --> 0:13:06.880 top of that, you got the pettiness. You gotta deal 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:08.640 with all these people getting thrown and I'm like, wait 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.280 a minute, I'm still a human being. I still am 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.240 going through a really like this is the biggest storm 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.960 of my life. My parents were married for sixty years 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.320 until my dad passed away, so I didn't never think 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:22.960 I would marry to divorce. When I got married to 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:24.960 my husband, I was like, this is it. This is forever, 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.000 like this is my person. So to now be here 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:32.040 it's unbelievable at times. So then when people throw these things, 0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:34.480 I'm like, wait a minute, though, Like, especially when you're 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:36.760 going through the same thing, it's like, wait a minute. 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.680 You know how hard emotionally mentally this is. I can 0:13:40.720 --> 0:13:42.960 go on dates which I've owned, I'll stand on that. 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:44.439 It's great, Like that. 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:44.959 Was the question. 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:51.120 I'm sitting here like I'm seeing yeah, and I'm attracted 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.160 to people that I see, and I'm like, you're a looker, Okay, 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.280 But to go like to this is exclusive or anything 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:57.680 like that. 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:00.360 You gotta take your time. You gotta take your to 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:01.880 the point of you saying. 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:05.760 That, you know, as far as you not being outside 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:07.600 or whatever case, maybe dating. 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:09.600 I'll be outside now, well. 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:15.800 Listen, I mean, you know sometimes, but I do. 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:19.320 Want to say this. I also because you are a 0:14:19.400 --> 0:14:19.840 human being. 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.360 Sometimes people see you on TV and they don't he like, know, 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:25.720 these are real people with emotions. I do think that 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:29.360 you spend so much time working, being married, being a mom, 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:31.160 you and you should have a little fun. 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:33.680 I want to have fun. I think you should, like, 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:34.920 I think you deserve it. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:37.240 Y'all come to Atlanta, y'all come hang out with me, 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:43.600 like we will have a great time. Well you better 0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:47.440 hit well, let me not find it, because I do 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.760 feel like right now my priority has been a pouring 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:55.800 my energy into my career, work, self care and really 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.840 just like having a good time, laughing more, you know, 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.040 and and enjoy myself and just being gentle with myself 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:04.480 to know, like I've been in a marriage for ten 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:05.920 freaking years, right. 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:08.040 I always felt like if I, you know, if I 0:15:08.080 --> 0:15:10.040 was single and I had kids and stuff like that, 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:10.960 I'd be like I could do. 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:11.320 What I want. 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:13.280 Now, Really I have to worry about that, you know, 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.280 because sometimes you also have to think about who's gonna 0:15:15.280 --> 0:15:17.600 be the father of your kids. You can't just date 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:19.960 without intention. But then once you get that out the way, 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.160 and you're like, okay, like do you want to have 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:22.600 more kids? 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:26.720 Are you done? You think the shop is closed? Okay? 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:28.400 But got it? 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:33.480 No? More like, yeah, I have a workout and I 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:34.680 had a mommy make over. 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:35.960 We're done? All right? 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:39.040 Maybe a sarrogate, but I mean, you know, I got 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:43.800 my three beautiful, beautiful babies, and I'm really happy and uh, 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:49.080 just focusing on really finding my voice myself and just elevating. 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:50.520 Really see, I think that's a blessing. 0:15:50.560 --> 0:15:52.440 Like if I would have had kids out of it, 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:54.440 you know, then you don't have to think about. 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:58.080 It, still thinking about it? Wait, wait, what's up with you? 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:04.480 Let's talk about it? What's that about? You know? Wait 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:07.240 a minute? No, I got my man. We're good. Okay, Yeah, 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.920 heis me some playdates. Here's always me playdating. 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:14.000 She's got her two kids, you know what I'm saying. Whoever, 0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:15.840 she got amazing a boy and a girl. I have 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.760 a sixteen year old young lady. 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:19.520 Sixteen. 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.960 Yeah, and I'm not repeating myself. Yeah, I'm staying where 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:23.240 I'm at. 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:25.440 That's it. You're done. Yeah, I think I'm done. You 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:30.040 got your boy and girls. Okay. 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:32.040 So if you have to think about lessons learned, because 0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.480 I also think you go through things and you learn 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.320 from them. So moving forward, what would you say, are 0:16:37.360 --> 0:16:39.640 some valuable lessons that you've learned when it comes to 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.440 love relationships and what tru ones? 0:16:43.480 --> 0:16:48.360 Honestly, you know, I don't want to be like jaded 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.360 or bitter, So I don't want to say, like, you know, 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.840 this was all a mistake or anything. I think that 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:56.800 at the end of the day, what I would do 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.800 differently is just have certain conversations, not just let the 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.240 emotions lead me like, oh, this is love, this chemistry 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:08.359 is amazing. Have those really difficult conversations to say, let's 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.320 like agree on some things before we get married, because 0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:15.199 I do still believe in that, because the conversation that 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:18.560 isn't had a lot of times. You know, you're in 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:21.719 this fairy tale land is yes, what happens if this 0:17:21.880 --> 0:17:26.160 doesn't work right? You know, apart from us doing prenups 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:28.560 and all of that, let's talk amongst me and you 0:17:29.040 --> 0:17:31.280 when we break up? What can we Absolutely you can't 0:17:31.320 --> 0:17:33.400 go into a relationship talking about the breakup. 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.080 You shouldn't. Don't know what difficult. 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:38.800 Exactly because it's kind of like how we're sitting here. 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:40.880 I will not I can't imagine talking to my man 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:41.840 and being like, when we. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:43.280 Break up, how are we going to handle this? 0:17:43.400 --> 0:17:46.640 I always thought that over here talking about I want, well, 0:17:47.000 --> 0:17:50.280 that's that's a preen up situation. That's after the breakup, 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.880 because you know, it's a post nothing but if you're 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:57.600 dating somebody, do you address a breakup before it? Like, well, 0:17:57.680 --> 0:18:01.040 if you're dating with intention, if that's the difficult conversation 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.480 that you're going to have, if ever this was to 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:05.800 come to an end, nobody wants to talk about that. 0:18:05.880 --> 0:18:08.480 Those people don't talk about exactly, we don't talk about it. 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:10.840 That's so difficult at the end because because then you 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:12.120 could be like, remember you. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.840 Harry yet and we signed it, but none of that 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:18.280 is on the table. That's a different thing. Yes, I 0:18:18.320 --> 0:18:22.199 think that's a contractual agreement. But I do believe that. 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:24.800 You know, first of it's hard to say, like, if 0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.520 we break up, you're gonna do this, because no one 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:28.800 really is going to do what they said they were 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:30.960 going to do when emotions are involved and it's a 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:31.680 real breakup. 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:32.879 Prenup is different. 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.880 It's talking about you because at the end of the day, 0:18:35.880 --> 0:18:38.000 we know what we spoke about. And I'm not saying 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:39.960 your word has to be bombed, but you know what 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:42.399 you spoke about, or even for me, and this is 0:18:42.480 --> 0:18:45.040 just me. I'm like, we're gonna put it on paper, 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:48.160 we're gonna sign it andie it. 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:51.560 Yeah, because people won't remember what they said and when 0:18:51.640 --> 0:18:55.520