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Speaker 1: Buck it up and hold on tight. We got it.

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Speaker 1: Fight you here. It is the Strawberry letter subject he

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Speaker 1: wants to skip the best part here Stephen Shirley. I

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Speaker 1: am a seventy year old woman with raging hormones like

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Speaker 1: a thirty year old. I love making love to a

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Speaker 1: man that knows what he is doing between the sheets.

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Speaker 1: I met this man about a year ago from an

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Speaker 1: online dating site. After five months of talking on the phone,

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Speaker 1: we decided to get together. Now. I've always thought of

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Speaker 1: love making as an art, and if you are not

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Speaker 1: an artist, I am not looking for a painter. I

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Speaker 1: know my performance is very artistic, or so I have

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Speaker 1: been told. I like variety, nothing too kinky, but a

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Speaker 1: little variety. I told my boyfriend that he will get

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Speaker 1: quality if he gives quality. I am big on getting

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Speaker 1: things started in the right way and not just jumping

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Speaker 1: right to it. My boyfriend's started out doing the pregame show,

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Speaker 1: but now he wants to get to the main attraction

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Speaker 1: right away. His stamina is wonderful, so there are no

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Speaker 1: complaints there. I constantly wear sexy lingerie and he compliments

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Speaker 1: me on it, but he doesn't take time to enjoy

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Speaker 1: the presentation. And unwrap the package. He is a good man,

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Speaker 1: very loving and giving, and he is even talking about marriage.

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Speaker 1: I would love to marry him, but I need to

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Speaker 1: know that he is willing to romanticize me and keep

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Speaker 1: it passionate and not just do a wham bam, thank

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Speaker 1: you man type of deal. Stephen Shirley, how can I

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Speaker 1: get him to take his time and not just jump in. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. I do like the fact that

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Speaker 1: even at seventy years old, you're still being a boss

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. Okay, you say you have hormones of

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Speaker 1: a thirty year old. I like that. I like that

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Speaker 1: you know what you want and all of that. I

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Speaker 1: think the problem with you two is you're not on

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Speaker 1: the same page. You're on different pages. Any smart man

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Speaker 1: knows that women love the build up. We love the

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Speaker 1: romance of it all. We love the pregame show as

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Speaker 1: you call it. All of that for play is essential

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Speaker 1: for women. We get that part, yes we do. But

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Speaker 1: every single time, though, every single time, you gotta have

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Speaker 1: a big pregame show and all of that. No, ma'am,

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Speaker 1: just real life just doesn't work like that. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: and this is real life. It is not a game,

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Speaker 1: as you call it. Yeah, you know, some people just

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Speaker 1: want to get to the main attraction. They really do.

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Speaker 1: Sorry to disappoint you, man, but that is how it

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Speaker 1: goes in life. When we get packages. I mean, think

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Speaker 1: about it, you know, when we do get gifts and packages,

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Speaker 1: sometimes think about Christmas. Sometimes you unwrap it, you know,

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Speaker 1: fold up the wrapping paper and fold the bow nice

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Speaker 1: and neatly. And then sometimes you're so excited you just

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Speaker 1: tear into the package. You just the paper off, you know,

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Speaker 1: you just snatch the ball off. You do that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's real life. Huh yo. This woman is seventy Steve

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Speaker 1: with the hormones of a thirty year old. Well, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Okay, anyway, we just tear open the packages,

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Speaker 1: we do, all right. So I have to say this

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Speaker 1: to you. You gotta go with the flow. Okay, you

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Speaker 1: gotta go with the flow. It should not be the

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Speaker 1: same every single time, it just shouldn't. You gotta go

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Speaker 1: with the mood of things. Life is unpredictable at times,

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Speaker 1: and so it's sex in the bedroom and all that.

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Speaker 1: So um, you gotta you know, be a little flexible

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Speaker 1: here and think about that situation. Sometimes you rip it off.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you go slow, all right, that's just how it is, Steve. Then, No,

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Speaker 1: the letter is not about being well, you know you

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Speaker 1: was in here talking about getting stuff ripped off. Let's

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Speaker 1: go over this letter a package. We gotta seventy, we

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Speaker 1: gotta seventy year old woman that's living with the raging

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Speaker 1: hormones of a thirty year old. Now, let's just stop

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Speaker 1: right here for a second. That's scary, dog on it.

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Speaker 1: That's scary. And if you're asking me, you're a little

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Speaker 1: late fall this year, you should have had the raging

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Speaker 1: hormones of a thirty year old when your ass was thirty.

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Speaker 1: You're seventy. Now you're seventy. Now I appreciate it because

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Speaker 1: I'm playing it on being, you know, around at seventy.

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Speaker 1: But I don't want to be like I was at thirty.

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Speaker 1: For the purpose of this letter, Okay, the lady says,

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Speaker 1: I love making love to a man that knows what

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Speaker 1: he's doing between the sheets. Well, hell, he's seventy out

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Speaker 1: of hell, he don't know what he's doing. If you

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Speaker 1: ain't experienced by seventy in the bedroom, you what what

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Speaker 1: what was you doing? You've had seventy years to get

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Speaker 1: it right. If you ain't doing in it right right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Pardner. You can push your chips up to

86
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Speaker 1: the window now, she said. I met this man by

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Speaker 1: the year ago on the old Line dating site, and

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Speaker 1: after five months of talking on the phone, we decided

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Speaker 1: to get together. She says. Now, I thought of love

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Speaker 1: making as an art, and if you're not an artist,

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Speaker 1: I'm not looking for a paintal Now, let's analyze that

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Speaker 1: line from this seventy year old on I'm I thought

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Speaker 1: of love making as art, and if you're not an artist,

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Speaker 1: I'm not looking for a paint. Ain't that cute? I

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Speaker 1: love that line. Ain't that cute? I like that a

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Speaker 1: lot too. That's real. What the hell du that mean?

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Speaker 1: Cute ass line? That's the way to write a letter.

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Speaker 1: But what the hell we're talking about love making? Anybody

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Speaker 1: tell about no damn brushes and paint you seventy we're

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Speaker 1: talking about old paint anyway. I'm a big fan of

101
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Speaker 1: getting things started the right way and not just jumping

102
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Speaker 1: right into it. My boyfriend started out doing the pregame show,

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Speaker 1: but now he wants to get to the main attraction

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Speaker 1: right away when we come back, Come on, let me

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Speaker 1: explain to you why he wants to get to it

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Speaker 1: right away. Let's get to it. Let's recap the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter for today. He wants to skip. The best part

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Speaker 1: is a subject. Well, this woman is seventy, got the

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Speaker 1: raging hormones of thirty year old, and she's considers making

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Speaker 1: love and art and if you're not a painter, she's

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Speaker 1: not interested. She'd have met this man online, which is great.

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Speaker 1: She's seventy, I'm assuming he's of age. And they started

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Speaker 1: seeing each other and she says, I'm a big fan

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Speaker 1: of getting things started the right way and not just

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Speaker 1: jumping into it. Was she saying the beginning, her boyfriend

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Speaker 1: started out during the pregame show, but now he wants

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Speaker 1: to get to the main attraction right away now, she said,

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Speaker 1: his stammers status stamina is wonderful, so there's no complaints.

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Speaker 1: She say, I constantly wear sexual lingerie and he compliments

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Speaker 1: me on it, but he doesn't take time to enjoy

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Speaker 1: the presentation and unwrapped package. He's a good man, loving

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Speaker 1: and we're even talking about marriage. I want to marry him,

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Speaker 1: but I need to know that he's willing to romanticize

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Speaker 1: me and keep it passionate and not just want to

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Speaker 1: wear bam, thank you man type of deal. Stephen, Shelley,

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Speaker 1: how can I get him take his time and not

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Speaker 1: just jump in? You can't, You can't. He's seventy. Hell

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Speaker 1: is we waiting fault? Exactly? He knows it could go

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Speaker 1: down for him any day. Now, what does that mean? Seventy?

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Speaker 1: The clock is ticking, Shelley, That's what it means. We know. Yes, Shunny,

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Speaker 1: you seventy. You didn't live way longer than you got left.

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Speaker 1: He don't have seventy more years. I'm telling you why

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Speaker 1: he got to jump in. He gotta get anybody got

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Speaker 1: time for this? No more were seventy. We gotta get

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Speaker 1: to it. She say. He used to do the pregame show.

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Speaker 1: Now he want to jump right into it. He's seventy.

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Speaker 1: She want him to do? She give you a couple examples. Well,

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to be a young seventy, but

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like him though already know it. Let's

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Speaker 1: talk about a couple of things. When you go to

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Speaker 1: the movies, you don't want the damn preview. You want

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Speaker 1: to move it. Yes, I don't want to see no trailer.

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Speaker 1: I don't give a damn what's coming next week. I

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Speaker 1: might not be here next week. I want the movie.

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Speaker 1: What did I pay my twenty dolls for? Damn it?

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Speaker 1: Give me my movie right now. That's why the seventy

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Speaker 1: year old man ain't waiting. I got another one for you. Okay.

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Speaker 1: I don't like cracker jacks. I want the pride. Now.

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Speaker 1: I've been that way since I was a little boy. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I buy a cracker Jacks, but dog, gonn it. I

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Speaker 1: want the prize. I don't give a double damn about

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Speaker 1: the cracker jacks. All up in my teeth, cutting the

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Speaker 1: roof of my mouth, wear my pride once again. That's

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Speaker 1: why he can't wait. Here's another one for you. He

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Speaker 1: looking at it like an HBCU game. We're here for

156
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Speaker 1: the band. Damn the guy halftime bre the banding them

157
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Speaker 1: Damn Chile eaters out. This ain't even a good football game. Yeah,

158
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Speaker 1: hen we we can't find the kicker. We ain't kick

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Speaker 1: the field goal in two years. The quarterback can throw

160
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Speaker 1: fifteen yards? What's this going? A half time? The receiver

161
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Speaker 1: look like your little brother about out here for the

162
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Speaker 1: HBCU game. Jared Rice come along every nine Mien and

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Speaker 1: Walter Peyton everybody else look like children. This HBCU game.

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Speaker 1: I'm out here watching the thirteenth grade. Man, where is

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Speaker 1: the bad damnick Sonic boom Jackson boys that yeah, brain

166
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Speaker 1: meet him from Ratlers. Come on, I won't southern out here,

167
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Speaker 1: Oh man, HBCU game. That's why we can't wait so quick?

168
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Speaker 1: Getting mad at the man? Right, he seventy you seventy.

169
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Speaker 1: What you're taking your time for? Your time could be

170
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Speaker 1: next week too. She's got raging hormones. Let's get to it.

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Speaker 1: Stop all this holding up. Stop, Wait a minute, hold up,

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Speaker 1: you tied it swam bam, thank you man. You ought

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Speaker 1: to be lucky. He can steal wham and I know

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Speaker 1: some schamity years ago. Dude, that Ben stopped swamming and

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Speaker 1: bamming years ago. She says he has steve. She did say, yeah,

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Speaker 1: old man can last. Now, come on, that's that experience

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Speaker 1: that's done on what to do, that's putting your mind

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Speaker 1: somewhere else. Mental mental boy talk. Yeah, so you learn that,

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Speaker 1: take your mind off of it, go somewhere else. So

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Speaker 1: he keep putting me in. If you think about it,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna mesh yourself. You got medicine, You got all

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Speaker 1: the peers on the night stand. Stop thinking about which

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Speaker 1: people you got to tell. It's a lot of ways

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Speaker 1: to occupy your bland, so to your make it through. Man. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thinking about this is true right here. Yeah. You ever

186
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Speaker 1: been at it and just started to do something to

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Speaker 1: distract yourself barking like a dog. You're just practicing voices,

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Speaker 1: all right. Listen, email us or instagram us your thoughts

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Speaker 1: on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM and check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to

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Speaker 1: the Steve Harvey Morning Show