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Speaker 1: Hey, it's Jay Schetty, host of On Purpose. On the

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Speaker 1: newest episode of my podcast, we have an extremely special

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Speaker 1: interview with Matthew McConaughey. Matthew opens up in a way

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Speaker 1: you've never heard before. We talk about identity, purpose, failure, risk, relationships,

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Speaker 1: and the parts of his journey he's never shared. If

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Speaker 1: you've ever felt stark, lost or in transition, this episode

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Speaker 1: is for you. You won't want to miss this one.

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Speaker 1: Listen to On Purpose with Jayshetty on the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Amazon Music, or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can't

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Speaker 1: break a habit if you still see yourself as the

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Speaker 1: person who does it. If you think I'm lazy, you

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Speaker 1: can't break a habit that proves you're disciplined. If you

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Speaker 1: think you're disorganized. You can't build a habit that proves

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Speaker 1: you're focused. If you're not on top of everything. You

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Speaker 1: can't prove to yourself you have a plan. So instead

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Speaker 1: of saying I'm trying to quit, say I'm not someone

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Speaker 1: who chooses that anymore. The number one health and wellness

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Speaker 1: podcast Jay Sheety Jay Sheety say Shety. I could never

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Speaker 1: change my habits until I did this. What if I

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Speaker 1: told you that ninety percent of your bad habits have

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with discipline and everything to do with

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Speaker 1: the systems you live inside. Most people blame themselves for

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Speaker 1: their habits. I'm just lazy, I'm not consistent. I always

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Speaker 1: mess this up. But here's the truth. You don't have

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Speaker 1: bad habits because you're a bad person. You have bad

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Speaker 1: habits because you have invisible patterns that no one ever

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Speaker 1: taught you to see. And once you see them, you

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Speaker 1: can break them fast. Let's be honest. If you want

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Speaker 1: to have a Grade twenty twenty six, breaking bad habits

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Speaker 1: and building good habits is core to your success. We

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Speaker 1: are what we repeat do. This is the wisdom that's

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Speaker 1: been passed down for generations. Yet we rarely focus on

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Speaker 1: our most repeated thoughts, actions, beliefs, and values. And we

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Speaker 1: think it's going to be some miraculous manifesting moment, some

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Speaker 1: random thing that happens in our life that changes the

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Speaker 1: trajectory of everything, when in reality, it's all about our habits.

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Speaker 1: If you want twenty twenty six to be the best

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Speaker 1: year of your life, this episode is for you. If

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Speaker 1: you want to break your bad habits in twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 1: This episode is for you. And if you're someone who's

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Speaker 1: done just setting goals and not meeting them, this episode

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Speaker 1: is for you. Let's dive in. So why can't you

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Speaker 1: break your bad habits? Let's get honest. If you could

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Speaker 1: have broken the habit by now, you would have. The

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Speaker 1: problem isn't effort. The problem is misdiagnosis. Most people think

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Speaker 1: a bad habit is a character flaw, but science shows

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Speaker 1: a bad habit is usually an emotional escape. When we

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Speaker 1: have a bad habit, we think it's because we're a

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Speaker 1: bad person. We had bad parenting, we had a bad background,

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Speaker 1: we had bad company. Now, even if you did have

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Speaker 1: a lot of challenging things, the truth I want you

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Speaker 1: to realize is a bad habit is more of a

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Speaker 1: subconscious response. It's something that you can train. It's not

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Speaker 1: something that you're stuck with. A bad habit can be

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Speaker 1: a triggered loop. A bad habit can be a dopamine

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Speaker 1: pattern you've repeated. A bad habit can be an environment

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Speaker 1: Q or a story you've been carrying for years. But

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Speaker 1: you can change it, you can transform it. A habit

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Speaker 1: is not something you have to live with because it's

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Speaker 1: who you are. You are not your habits. You're made

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Speaker 1: of your habits. You're defined by your habits, but you, yourself,

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Speaker 1: are not your habits. Here's the key idea. You don't

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Speaker 1: fix bad habits by fighting them. You fix them by

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Speaker 1: understanding what they're doing for you. Because every bad habit

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Speaker 1: has a job. Scrolling equals distraction, over eating equals comfort,

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Speaker 1: Procrastinating equals protection, overworking equals avoidance. People pleasing equals fear

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Speaker 1: of rejection. Staying up late equals escape time. Your habit

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Speaker 1: isn't random, It's a coping strategy, and once you understand

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Speaker 1: the strategy, you can rewrite it. Oftentimes, when we want

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Speaker 1: to change our habits, we just think, I just want

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Speaker 1: to wake up earlier. Okay, great, But what does staying

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Speaker 1: up late do for you? What is it providing that

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Speaker 1: you need to change the strategy? If you say to yourself, oh,

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Speaker 1: I just want to stop drinking sodas, what is that habit?

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Speaker 1: What is the loop? What is the trigger? What is

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Speaker 1: the int inventive that you turn to? That four? Right?

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Speaker 1: Every habit we have, you can say, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do this, and I want to start this. I

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Speaker 1: never want to do this again. I always want to

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Speaker 1: do this. But in reality, if you don't get beneath

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Speaker 1: the surface, if you don't get beneath the hood, you

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Speaker 1: have no idea as to why you even turn to

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Speaker 1: it in the first place. And if you don't understand

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Speaker 1: why you turn towards something, you can't turn away from it.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know why, every night, even when you

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Speaker 1: don't want to, you turn on the TV and waste

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Speaker 1: two hours. If you don't know why you do that,

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Speaker 1: you can't change it. If you don't know why you

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Speaker 1: choose to sleep in instead of going to the gym,

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Speaker 1: you can't change it. Here's what I want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you about. The four part loop that runs ninety

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Speaker 1: percent of your habits. Every habit follows the same pattern.

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Speaker 1: Number one trigger something happens, Number two emotion you feel stress, boredom, loneliness, fear,

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Speaker 1: number three behavior you reach for the habit, and number

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Speaker 1: four reward Your brain gets relief. The loop completes, and

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Speaker 1: your brain says, let's do that again tomorrow. But here's

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Speaker 1: the moment that changes everything. If you interrupt just one

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Speaker 1: part of the loop, the habit collapses. That means you

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Speaker 1: don't have to change yourself, you just change the loop.

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Speaker 1: This is where the real transformation happens. We keep thinking

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Speaker 1: I can't change myself. I don't know what's wrong with me.

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Speaker 1: I just can't do this. I'm just a lazy, useless person.

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Speaker 1: But the reality is we're trying to change the loop,

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Speaker 1: not trying to change you. It's the loop that has

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Speaker 1: become you. Therefore, if we can interrupt the loop, change

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Speaker 1: the loop, transform the loop, we can change how we feel.

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Speaker 1: Focus on the loop. Don't focus on yourself. We over

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Speaker 1: focus on ourselves and our character more than we focus

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Speaker 1: on the actual trigger. So here's what I want you

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Speaker 1: to do. Change your triggers. Most people try to change

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Speaker 1: the habit, but your habit is not the problem. Your

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Speaker 1: trigger is. Here's an example. You don't bin scroll because

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Speaker 1: you want to right, I don't think. You go to

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Speaker 1: your phone and go I can't wait to binge scroll today.

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Speaker 1: You binge scroll because your phone is beside your bed.

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Speaker 1: You don't eat late at night because you're hungry. You

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Speaker 1: eat because your kitchen is the only quiet moment you have.

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Speaker 1: It's a place of escape. You're exhausted, you're tired, you

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Speaker 1: didn't eat something right before. You don't procrastinate because you're unmotivated.

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Speaker 1: You procrastinate because you're overwhelmed, because you're scared of rejection.

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Speaker 1: So here's your first actionable step. Redesign your triggers. Move

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Speaker 1: the phone out of the bedroom, prep your meals, early schedule,

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Speaker 1: work into smaller emotional portions. Remove the queue, remove the craving.

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Speaker 1: Your environment beats your willpower every single time. Don't try

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Speaker 1: to fight the habit. Break the loop. Don't try to

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Speaker 1: fight the habit. Break the loop. Focus on the design

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Speaker 1: part that you can change to shift the direction of

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Speaker 1: where you're going. I really want you to think about

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Speaker 1: this profoundly and thoughtfully. I'll give you an example. I

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Speaker 1: know that I used to turn to sugar when I

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Speaker 1: felt stressed. Sugar would get me out of that feeling.

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Speaker 1: I also know that I used to turn to sugary

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Speaker 1: drink so sodas when I felt I didn't have energy.

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Speaker 1: I used to think that I couldn't work out unless

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Speaker 1: I had energy, not realizing that working out gave me energy.

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Speaker 1: When I'm working out, I'm less likely to crave a

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Speaker 1: sugary drink or a snack. Also, going even a step

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Speaker 1: further when I'm sleeping, while I make better choices now

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Speaker 1: ask yourself, why are you're not sleeping well? What are

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Speaker 1: you stressed about? What's keeping you up at night? Figure

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Speaker 1: out that trigger and interrupt that pattern. Focus on solving that,

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Speaker 1: and you'll be able to wake up earlier and sleep better,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to just beating yourself up for not having

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Speaker 1: a good bedtime routine. Next, replace the reward, not the habit.

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Speaker 1: You can break your habit faster if you replace the

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Speaker 1: reward before you remove the behavior. Here's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: If your habit gives you comfort, replace the comfort, not

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Speaker 1: the habit. If your habit gives you escape, replace the escape,

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Speaker 1: not the habit. Most people try to stop a habit cold,

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Speaker 1: but nature hates a vacuum. So I remember, at one

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Speaker 1: point I would just want to play video games. After

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Speaker 1: a day of work no activity, my brain goes dull.

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Speaker 1: I just need to switch off. Instead, I switched it

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Speaker 1: for pickleball. Playing a sport in the evening gives me

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Speaker 1: that sense of play, but it also gives me connection,

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Speaker 1: gives me physical activity and burning calories and getting steps

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Speaker 1: and getting a sweat. In replacing the habit is better

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Speaker 1: than just saying I'm not gonna do anything this evening

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna start doing nothing from now on. That's

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Speaker 1: just not gonna work. For example, if you say to yourself,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna start eating healthy now, I'm never gonna reach

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Speaker 1: for the chips. But if all you have in your

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Speaker 1: snack drows chips. If you replace the habit and now

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Speaker 1: you've got healthier alternatives, that's what you're gonna reach for.

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Speaker 1: Remove a habit without replacing the reward, and your brain

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Speaker 1: will find another habit to fill the gap. This is

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Speaker 1: why emotional eating turns into bine scrolling, or why overworking

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Speaker 1: turns into overthinking. Your brain is not sabotaging you, it's

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Speaker 1: solving for relief. So you need an upgraded relief system.

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Speaker 1: We all need relief at the end of the day.

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Speaker 1: We all need relief at the end of the week.

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Speaker 1: That's normal. We couldn't possibly read a book instead of

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Speaker 1: watching a show. Reading a book requires effort. Watching a

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Speaker 1: show requires no effort. So if you eat for comfort,

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Speaker 1: call a friend for three minutes. If you know you're

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Speaker 1: going to watch a show, what's something that you feel

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Speaker 1: really engaged by and fulfilled by rather than disappointed when

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Speaker 1: you finish. If you scroll for escape, take a ninety

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Speaker 1: second walk outdoors and truly escape and feel the difference.

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Speaker 1: If you procrastinate, set a five minute time and let

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Speaker 1: yourself procrastinate, but have a deadline. If you stress and

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Speaker 1: you go shopping, write about what you're feeling, talk to

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Speaker 1: someone about it. Small replacements break big habits. I remember

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Speaker 1: when I was first trying to give up refined sugars.

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Speaker 1: I would find sweet products that were not as bad.

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Speaker 1: I was eating some monk fruit, I was eating some dates.

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Speaker 1: I had to still solve for my craving at the time,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted to find a healthier craving so that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't hurting myself. Does that make sense. I hope

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Speaker 1: that's resonating with you. I don't want you to just

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Speaker 1: say I'm never going to do this ever again. It's

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Speaker 1: really really hard to do that. The next step is

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Speaker 1: interrupt the loop in real time. This is the most

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Speaker 1: important step. When a trigger hits and you feel yourself

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Speaker 1: slipping into the habit, pause just ten seconds. Your brain

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Speaker 1: only needs a tiny interruption to disrupt the automatic pathway.

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Speaker 1: Say this out loud, what am I actually needing right now?

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Speaker 1: That one sentence moves you from subconscious habit to conscious choice.

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Speaker 1: This is where the bad habit loses power, because the

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Speaker 1: habits thrive in autopilot and die in awareness. As soon

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Speaker 1: as you're aware, as soon as you ask yourself, what

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Speaker 1: am I doing here? What do I really want right now?

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Speaker 1: If a you were scrolling, you ask yourself what do

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Speaker 1: I really want right now? You might actually say to

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Speaker 1: switch off, and you might actually find a twenty minute

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Speaker 1: power map better than that hour doom scroll that you're

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Speaker 1: about to do. If you're watching a show late night

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Speaker 1: and you are yourself, what do I really need, you'd

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Speaker 1: probably say to decompress and rest, and maybe getting into

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Speaker 1: bed thirty minutes earlier is better than that extra episode.

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Speaker 1: If you woke up in the morning and ask yourself

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Speaker 1: what do I really need right now, you'd say, I

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Speaker 1: really need to get moving right and you're going to

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Speaker 1: choose that over snoozing. That question re establishes what's really

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Speaker 1: important to you. Now we're getting into some serious growth.

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Speaker 1: The next step is to build a new identity around

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Speaker 1: your choices. You can't break a habit if you still

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Speaker 1: see yourself as the person who does it. Let me

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Speaker 1: say that again. You can't break a habit if you

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Speaker 1: still see yourself as the person who does it. If

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Speaker 1: you think I'm lazy, you can't break a habit that

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Speaker 1: proves you're disciplined. If you think you're disorganized, you can't

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Speaker 1: build a habit that proves you're focused. If you're not

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Speaker 1: on top of everything, you can't prove to yourself you

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Speaker 1: have a plan. So instead of saying I'm trying to quit,

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Speaker 1: say I'm not someone who chooses that anymore. Noice the difference.

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Speaker 1: Instead of I'm trying to wake up earlier, say I'm

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Speaker 1: a morning person in training. Instead of I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: stop procrastination, say I'm someone who starts small. This isn't

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Speaker 1: about manifestation. This isn't about creating something from your mind.

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Speaker 1: This is about identity. Identity is the soil. Habits are

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Speaker 1: the seeds. Plant a new identity this year, and your

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Speaker 1: habits will grow into it. Because we don't change our

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Speaker 1: self image, we can't change our habits. Right, if you

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Speaker 1: imagined yourself as an athlete every day, you would wake up,

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Speaker 1: eat right, and sleep well. Because you see yourself as

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Speaker 1: an athlete, you treat yourself as an athlete. But if

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Speaker 1: you see yourself as someone lazy and underachiever, someone who

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Speaker 1: doesn't perform, Why would you certainly start doing all of that?

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Speaker 1: When I'm working with a client, I encourage them to

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Speaker 1: see themselves as an athlete. How would they treat their body?

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Speaker 1: How would they treat their mind? How do they play

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Speaker 1: game day on Saturday or Sunday or Monday and actually

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Speaker 1: have an impact on the field. What does that look like?

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Speaker 1: What does that sound like? What does that feel like?

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Speaker 1: We have to build the identity first, and the behavior

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Speaker 1: will follow. When you understand your past, you understand why

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Speaker 1: you reach for certain habits and how to outgrow them.

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Speaker 1: For example, breaking habits isn't about force. It's about understanding

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Speaker 1: where they came from so you can finally let them go.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the biggest mistakes we make. We're just

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Speaker 1: trying to fight this thing and beat it and break

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Speaker 1: it down, whereas you can actually take its power away

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Speaker 1: when you go. Oh, I remember when I was stressed

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Speaker 1: out at school and I started that habit because it

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Speaker 1: made me feel less stress. Guess what, I'm not stressed

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Speaker 1: out anymore, you know what. I remember that I developed

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Speaker 1: that habit when I was really broke, and now I

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Speaker 1: still feel broke even though I'm a bit safer. I

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Speaker 1: can let that habit go. You disempower bad habits when

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Speaker 1: you recognize where they came from. So here's the ninety

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Speaker 1: day habit breaker blueprint, and I need you to commit

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Speaker 1: for ninety days. Here's the structure I want to give you.

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Speaker 1: Month one, focus on your awareness and triggers. Track your

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Speaker 1: habits for seven days. Identify the top three triggers, redesign

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Speaker 1: your environment. Month two, replace this and micro wins. Assign

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Speaker 1: a new reward for each habit, practice the ten second pause,

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Speaker 1: and celebrate tiny successes. This part is huge. Here's what

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Speaker 1: you need to do. When you make the right decision,

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Speaker 1: write down how you feel after it. I'll say that again.

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Speaker 1: When you make the right decision, write down how you

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Speaker 1: feel after it. When I first started going to the

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Speaker 1: gym in the morning, I used to have to write

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Speaker 1: down how I felt after it because it felt amazing.

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Speaker 1: It always felt better than skipping, It always felt better

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Speaker 1: than sleeping in, It always felt better than not showing up.

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Speaker 1: And in the beginning I had to write that down

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Speaker 1: so that the next morning, when I woke up again

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Speaker 1: and my mind came up with a list of excuses,

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Speaker 1: I was convinced. Because here's the thing. When you're doing

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Speaker 1: things that are good for you, they always feel hard

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Speaker 1: before you do them. You're going to wake up and

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Speaker 1: your mind is going to say, sleep in. You don't

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Speaker 1: need to work out, you're tired, you've been working hard.

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Speaker 1: But if you've recognized that even when that that's the case,

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Speaker 1: you feel better after you work out. You'll show up.

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Speaker 1: And especially if you celebrate tiny successes. So many of

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Speaker 1: us don't celebrate until the big thing happens, until the

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Speaker 1: big win happens. The problem with that is that could

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Speaker 1: take a year. And if you start celebrating a weekly win,

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Speaker 1: a monthly win, you'll feel more momentum towards the big

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Speaker 1: thing than taking energy away. Month number three, Focus on

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Speaker 1: identity and integration. Rewrite your identity statements, tell one friend

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Speaker 1: your new commitments. Choose one habit to turn into a ritual.

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Speaker 1: There's a quote that I love and it says, a

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Speaker 1: bad habit is not a life sentence. It's just an

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Speaker 1: old story waiting for a new ending. I can't stress

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Speaker 1: how important this piece on identity is. We have to

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Speaker 1: start seeing ourselves as not the habit. If you are

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Speaker 1: not your thoughts, you are not the voice in your head.

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Speaker 1: You are not the habits you've practiced for all these years.

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Speaker 1: That's not who you are. You are so much more

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Speaker 1: than that. You're beyond that, and simply by training yourself image,

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Speaker 1: your habits can change. If I don't see myself as

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Speaker 1: a podcaster, I won't podcast. If I don't see myself

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Speaker 1: as an interviewer, I would never sit in the interviewer's seat.

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Speaker 1: A lot of us are not doing the things, not

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Speaker 1: because we're not capable, but because we don't see them.

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Speaker 1: You're not held back by your lack of capability. You're

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Speaker 1: held back because of your lack of vision. You're not

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Speaker 1: able to start that new business, launch your podcast, write

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Speaker 1: a book, build a social media channel, not because you're

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Speaker 1: not skilled enough, but because you think you're not there yet.

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Speaker 1: You think you have to do something else before you

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Speaker 1: do that. Please change your identity. Here's the thing. Most

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Speaker 1: people think breaking a bad habit takes strength, but it

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Speaker 1: actually takes understanding. You're not failing because you're weak. You're

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Speaker 1: stuck because your system was built for a version of

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Speaker 1: you you no longer are, and once your system changes,

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Speaker 1: your habits will as well. So remember you don't have

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Speaker 1: to break everything at once. You just have to break

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Speaker 1: the loop. Start today, Interrupt one habit, redesign one trigger,

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Speaker 1: replace one reward, shift one identity. Because when you change

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Speaker 1: one habit, you don't just change your behavior, you change

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Speaker 1: your future. This is the year you break the pattern.

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Speaker 1: This is the year you take your life back. This

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Speaker 1: is the year you make the shift. This is the

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Speaker 1: year you transform your future. In future generation, you can

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Speaker 1: break ninety percent of your habits. Now why did I

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Speaker 1: say ninety percent and not one hundred percent? Because I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to mislead you. I remember one of my

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Speaker 1: monk teachers saying to me, even if you take the

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Speaker 1: word habit, it teaches you a lot about breaking habits.

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Speaker 1: When you first start breaking habits, you take away the

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Speaker 1: H in habit, and a bit is still left. And

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Speaker 1: then he said, you work some more on breaking your

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Speaker 1: bad habits, and then you take away the A. He goes,

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Speaker 1: bit is still left, and then he goes, hey, you

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Speaker 1: work harder on your habits, you get rid of the H,

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Speaker 1: the A, the B, and guess what it is still left.

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Speaker 1: The idea being that when you're breaking your habits, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't just all live oparator. Once you're really excavating every layer.

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Speaker 1: The first layer is just a trigger, the second layer

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Speaker 1: is the loop, then it's the reward, and then you

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Speaker 1: get into this subconscious space of why do I need

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Speaker 1: that escape? Where does it come from? You could locate

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Speaker 1: to a childhood memory, you could locate it to a

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Speaker 1: friend or family member and interaction. Sometimes people are not

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Speaker 1: chasing their dreams than when you go to the subconscious level.

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Speaker 1: The answer is because people at school, teachers never believed

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Speaker 1: in me. No one ever believed in me. And guess what. Then,

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you hear people who are really successful and you

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Speaker 1: asked them what they heard in school. They said, people

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Speaker 1: never believed in me. Interesting, right, Two people in the

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Speaker 1: same class heard the same thing. The teacher said, I

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Speaker 1: don't believe in you to both of them. One person

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Speaker 1: went on to become successful. One person didn't. Why because

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Speaker 1: one person saw as fuel, one person saw it as

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Speaker 1: being held back. But you can retrain that habit, You

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Speaker 1: can rewire that function, you can change it into fuel.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to live up to what people expected

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Speaker 1: of you. You simply have to pursue the life you won.

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Speaker 1: And it all starts when you start breaking ninety percent

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Speaker 1: of your habits you will stay. There'll be some habits

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Speaker 1: that will take years to break, and that's not to

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Speaker 1: discourage you. It's to be honest. But know that you

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Speaker 1: can keep chipping away and it'll be worth it because

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Speaker 1: you will unlock another level of growth, performance success every

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Speaker 1: time you chip away. I really hope this is the

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Speaker 1: year that you succeed in breaking the habits that are

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Speaker 1: holding you back, and most of all, start seeing yourself

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Speaker 1: as already capable of everything you want to achieve. Remember

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Speaker 1: I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for being here. Make sure you subscribe so

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Speaker 1: you never miss a video. Let's lock in in twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty six. If you love this episode, you will also

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Speaker 1: love my interview with Charles Douhig on how to hack

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Speaker 1: your brain, change any habit effortlessly and the secret to

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Speaker 1: making better decisions. Look, am I hesitating on this because

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Speaker 1: I'm scared of making the choice because I'm scared of

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Speaker 1: doing the work, Or am I sitting with this because

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Speaker 1: it just doesn't feel right yet? Ends