1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm 2 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: Danny Shapiro, and this is family Secrets, the secrets that 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,440 Speaker 1: are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,920 Speaker 1: and the secrets we keep from ourselves. I've heard from 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: so many about your own family secrets and realize that 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: what we are creating for each other on this podcast 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: is a community, a community for those who are looking 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: for a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: that end, we've created a number for listeners to call 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: in to record stories to share here in this space. 11 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: This week, I'd like to share a few of those 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: stories from our community. Thanks for listening. So my family 13 00:00:53,159 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: secret is my grandma really never knew of her father 14 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,440 Speaker 1: died when she was six years old. Chilling ever had 15 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: one photo, not knew that rates of him. So fast 16 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: forward forty years and her mother died. She found her 17 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: father's first specificate and it turns out he was twenty 18 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: five years older than she originally thought. So she always 19 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,479 Speaker 1: kind of wondered, well, what he did in the twenty 20 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: five years, and she never thought she would give the 21 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: answer to the kind of secret. So one day, um, 22 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: I was just messing around on dot com and I 23 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: found a photo of her father when that my grandmother 24 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: had never seen, so I just kept clicking and it 25 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: turns out her father had a whole mother family. He 26 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: had a son and a daughter thurty years ago in 27 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: my grandma, my great uncle, and it's done my grandma. Um, 28 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,200 Speaker 1: she had nieces and nephews that were actually older than her. 29 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: And yeah, but the craziest thing is is that her 30 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: half brother actually ended up an able Quoque when three 31 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: streets away from her when they both grew up in 32 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: New Jersey, so she could have seen on the street 33 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: or at the grocery store. But it's just kind of 34 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,239 Speaker 1: crazy how cool incidences happened like that. And I'm just 35 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: happy I was able to bring that closure to my grandmother. 36 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: And I really loved the podcast and what you were 37 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: doing with it, and keep up the great work. Hi. 38 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: I am a new listener of the Family Secrets podcast 39 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: and I love it. And then his um sort of 40 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: compelled me to call and share my secret. That's a 41 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: family secret, but um, it's sort of something I feel 42 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: is my own now as I've gotten older. Um, when 43 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: I was young, I like a lot of people who 44 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: have called in found out through pretty obvious reasons that 45 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: my father UM was not my biological father. And I 46 00:02:56,160 --> 00:03:01,799 Speaker 1: actually found out on my own when I was about twelve, yeah, UM, 47 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: reading my baby book and realizing the last names were 48 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: very obviously people who I didn't know and weren't my 49 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: grandparents that I had grown up going UM. I told 50 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: my parents that I found out, and to be quite honest, 51 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: through my youth and growing up, we never really talked 52 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: about it again. UM, But I did have access to 53 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: my father's name, and as I got older and UM 54 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: better at sleeping and finding people on the Internet, I 55 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 1: discovered UM a law of information about my family and 56 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: where my dad was. And so my secret now is 57 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: that I know exactly where he is. UM. My father 58 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: went to prison when I was in my twenties and 59 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: is still there, and often I check in on status 60 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: of his prison sentence and his whereabouts in prison, as 61 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: he has quite a long sentence and has moved around 62 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: quite a few times from difference UM detention centers and such. 63 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:18,080 Speaker 1: And I have found many of my family members as 64 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:22,919 Speaker 1: well cousins and aunts UM on Facebook, and have even 65 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: sent a message in a sort of veiled Facebook page 66 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 1: to an aunt and have a lot of intention of 67 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: maybe meeting these people, but very real fears of offending 68 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: my family if I do so. I have also recently, 69 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,880 Speaker 1: UM just had of pure curiosity of maybe having more 70 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: have siblings, the question of twenty three and the DNA kit, 71 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: and look forward to seeing if there's saying new family 72 00:04:51,839 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: secrets that arise from that. But UM, I love the 73 00:04:55,279 --> 00:05:01,159 Speaker 1: podcast and I'll continue to listen. Thanks. I I just 74 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 1: felt really compelled to call and express my thanks for 75 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: uh the creation of this community and space that's really 76 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: allowed me to wrap my mind around and understand my 77 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:22,440 Speaker 1: own family's secret. UM. And I am my family's secret. UM. 78 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:25,159 Speaker 1: When my mother had me, she had me when she 79 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 1: was young, and UM, I never actually told the father 80 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: or my father that she was pregnant, or at least 81 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 1: that's what I've been told at this point. I didn't 82 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 1: know this for a long time. It wasn't until I 83 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: was nine years old when she sat me down after 84 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,279 Speaker 1: her and um my stepdad had had a fight and 85 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: he had left, and she basically said to me, you know, 86 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: you don't need to worry about him anyway. He's not 87 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 1: even your dad. So that was the end of the conversation, UM, 88 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,040 Speaker 1: and from there, you know, UM thirty five now, and 89 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 1: I've spent the last twenty some odd years trying to 90 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,920 Speaker 1: make sense of of of what that means. UM. When 91 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: I was young, I did ask for more information and 92 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: was basically told it wasn't any of my business, which 93 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,599 Speaker 1: in retrospect, I think was a defensive reaction. She was 94 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: scared and she didn't herself know what to do, especially 95 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: because she never told this man that she was pregnant. 96 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: But you know, it's just been in the last couple 97 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 1: of years that I've really started to own, UM, you know, 98 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 1: this this secret I guess, and UM, you know, own 99 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 1: the fact that I want to know more and that 100 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: I want to find this person and that it's important 101 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: to me. I still struggle on the daily with you know, 102 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,240 Speaker 1: how to ask my mother for more information, to get 103 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: more information. However, through this podcast, I've gotten the idea 104 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: that an ancestry kit would be would be helpful to 105 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: start my journey as I work up the courage to 106 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: take for more information. Right off, anyway, I just wanted 107 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: to say thank you, thank you for the community, thank 108 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 1: you for the thought. If you'd like to share your story, 109 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: call one eight eight eight secret zero and record your story. 110 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: We won't be able to run all the stories, but 111 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: we do want to shine a light on as many 112 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: as we can. The number again is one eight eight 113 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 1: secret and then the numeral zero. For more podcasts for 114 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, 115 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.