1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,880 Speaker 1: All right, let's get it. Buckle up, buckle up and 2 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: hold on. Type we got it for you here. It 3 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:08,720 Speaker 1: is the Strong Barry letter alright. The subject is concerned 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: father or jealous ex husband. Dear Stephen Shirley. I am 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: a recently divorced man with joint custody of my children. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: On the day that our divorce was final, my ex 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: wife and I we went out for drinks and then 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: back to her place to play a little game of 9 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: hide and seek. Everybody, you know what I mean. We 10 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: only did that once, and for the past six months 11 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 1: we have not had sex or anything close to it. 12 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 1: Not too long ago, she told me that she has 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 1: started dating again. So here's the problem. She wants her 14 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: new guy to meet our son and daughter after dating 15 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: him for only two months. She also has a girlfriend, 16 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: which took me by surprise. She is definitely living her 17 00:00:54,280 --> 00:01:02,120 Speaker 1: best life, but any way, she also wants her girlfriend 18 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: to be around our children. My ex wife's boyfriend does 19 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,600 Speaker 1: not know she has a girlfriend, and her girlfriend does 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: not know that she has a boyfriend. Obviously, this concerns 21 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,000 Speaker 1: me because my ex wife is playing both sides of 22 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: the field and wants to involve our children in this 23 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: love triangle mess. I told her that she needs to 24 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: end one of the relationships before someone gets hurt. She 25 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: told me that I was flat out jealous. She told 26 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: me that I'm jealous of her just because I can't 27 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: get over her, and that I don't want anyone else 28 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: with her. I am a concerned father, and I could 29 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: care less who she's getting it on with. It's just 30 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: not a good look for my children. So of course 31 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 1: I have to say something. What should I do? How 32 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: do I fix this without looking like the jealous ex husband? Yeah? Wow, 33 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: this is a lot. Yeah, well, let me just say this. 34 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: First of all, you might be just a little jealous 35 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:09,519 Speaker 1: because you're only human, but you still have valid concerns 36 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,799 Speaker 1: and you have a right to have input or say 37 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: so as to who is around your children. Your ex 38 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,359 Speaker 1: wife wants to bring her boyfriend and her girlfriend around 39 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: your children. So now, what kind of example is she's 40 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,320 Speaker 1: setting for them. You need to show your children, you know, 41 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 1: an example of a solid relationship. You know, you're flaunting 42 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: your boyfriend and your girlfriend around your boyfriend you've been 43 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: only dating for two months plus your girlfriend around your children. 44 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: Maybe as a suggestion, you need to ask your ex 45 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: wife to establish some boundaries. Maybe you can suggest that 46 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: when she wants to date or you know, maybe you 47 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,520 Speaker 1: can have the kids on the nights that she want 48 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,640 Speaker 1: to kick it and do all the things that she 49 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: wants to do. Maybe you can also suggest to her that, um, 50 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,959 Speaker 1: she introduced the kids to the person when the relationship 51 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: is going to be more stable. You know, you know, 52 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,959 Speaker 1: she's only been involved, like you said, with this guy 53 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: for two months, and we don't know how long she's 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: been dating the girlfriend. UM. I know you can't tell 55 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: your ex wife who to date, you know, in her 56 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: love triangle. You do have to let her live her life. 57 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: But honestly, you just can't stop her from doing what 58 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,440 Speaker 1: she wants to do. Let's just be real about it. 59 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: But you have to monitor your children and just let 60 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: them know within reason, what to expect. I mean, this 61 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 1: is real life and and and you know, maybe you 62 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: just have to break it down to your kids. You know, 63 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 1: your mom has a lot of friends. It's just some 64 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: ways that you have to handle it. But I think 65 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: you really have the right to talk to your ex 66 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: wife and say, listen, you know, we gotta have some boundaries. 67 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: You just can't be just wilding out in front of 68 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 1: the kids. Lead by example, show them an example of 69 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: a solid relationship. And that is my response for it today. Jay, 70 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 1: what you got totally totally totally totally. Let me give 71 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: me three more totally totally, totally, totally totally. I'm just 72 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: the one more that totally disagree, totally disagree. I talk 73 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: to the dude. She first of all, don't nobody on 74 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:21,919 Speaker 1: this show got more excess than me. Let me say this. 75 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:26,520 Speaker 1: Let me start by saying this. Anything she's into that 76 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,159 Speaker 1: keeps her from calling the law on you and looking 77 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:39,200 Speaker 1: you by child support payment, dude, dude, leave the hell alone, dude, 78 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: trust me on this one couch, your blessing between her 79 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: boyfriend and her girlfriend, her time is gonna be jammed 80 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: the hell up. She gon'll have time literally literally fooling 81 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:57,279 Speaker 1: with you. He was such a blessed man. If you 82 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: don't know it, stay on the other side where you are. 83 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: Leave her be lee. You know how brown people people 84 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: leading people alone people You need you need to standing 85 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 1: people bending it. Boy, don't worry about her. She is 86 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: fine if she wants to pick up skeet shooting, duck hunting, 87 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: whatever it is, man pottering, making painting the houses, fixing cars. 88 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 1: You know what croche and I mean TV. Whatever she into, 89 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: she ain't bothering you. You need to focus on you. 90 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:43,039 Speaker 1: Them kids doesn't see what she doing. They're gonna be fine. Dude, dude, 91 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,279 Speaker 1: trust me on this. Man, Leave and it won't be 92 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: what the more people say any time. And stay people. 93 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: I don't know why you cross the street. There has children. 94 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 1: J What I'm saying that the people's business business. Those 95 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,000 Speaker 1: are his kids, Timmy. What does the old people say 96 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,719 Speaker 1: when they find what is you doing over here in 97 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:18,040 Speaker 1: the first place? What is your over here fun? Yeah? 98 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: Do your mamma know you ow him? Stay? And that's 99 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: all I got to say about that. Yeah, thanks for nothing, 100 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: taking the words of my mama. What's this something here 101 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: about to you? Over a mess? What you're doing? All right? 102 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: Coming up, we'll have the nephews response. I'll do a 103 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: recap quickly. This recently divorced man. He has joint custody 104 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: of his children. He and his ex wife they hooked 105 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 1: up like one time right after they got divorced, and 106 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: but they've moved on since then. And she is dating 107 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: a guy. She's only been dating him for two months 108 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: and so she has a boyfriend and and she has 109 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:05,239 Speaker 1: a girlfriend. So now she is telling her ex husband 110 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,919 Speaker 1: he's the one that wrote the letter, that she wants 111 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,680 Speaker 1: her children, their children to meet the boyfriend and the girlfriend. 112 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: The ex husband is concerned about that. He thinks that 113 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: she's it's too much this love triangle, and he's concerned 114 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: about his children. But he doesn't want to come across 115 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 1: as a jealous ex husband. He has asked for advice 116 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: as to what he should do. Nephew, you are up. Now, 117 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: come on, Tommy, he really asked for some help with this. 118 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: Don't no problem at all, called I promise you legitimate health. Honestly, 119 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: I think you should take your ex wife out to dinner. 120 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,680 Speaker 1: I think you guys should sit down and have a 121 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: very good conversation. You should let her know that you 122 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: don't condone the activity that she's doing. But just tell 123 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: her I'm not gonna knock what you're doing because this 124 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: is maybe the new you. This is what you want 125 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,440 Speaker 1: to do. But I am concerned about the will being 126 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: of our children. So if you could possibly for me, 127 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 1: as a parent that's concerned, how about you keep this 128 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 1: completely away from our children. Just keep this activity away 129 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: I'm not saying. I'm not telling you to stop. I 130 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: can't tell you what to do, but I'm asking you, 131 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 1: as the other parents, would you do this for me 132 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: so our children won't be, you know, tied up in 133 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:28,120 Speaker 1: the middle of this. Does that make sense? I'm speechless. 134 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: It makes sense that you That was great? Well, I 135 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: mean that that's a great answer. That's what I was saying, 136 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:41,320 Speaker 1: you know, shouldn't expose her children to all this. Lead 137 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 1: by example, I tell you the time of my eyes 138 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:51,959 Speaker 1: answer you know, yeah, that was great. Now if you're 139 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,880 Speaker 1: asking tell me, then here we go. What do the 140 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: girlfriend look like? How? Let me tell you something? Have 141 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 1: we look if we knew we had a girlfriend, we 142 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: knew you had a girlfriend, we wouldn't have got the 143 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: boys in the first place. Boy, listen to me. Figure 144 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:15,319 Speaker 1: figure out a way to get yourself into the party. 145 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:17,840 Speaker 1: See if they got a little wiggle room so you 146 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,959 Speaker 1: can get back here, meet the girlfriend and last be 147 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: one big happen. Huh. She liked too, She like three? Yeah, yeah, 148 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: when they like to trust me that four can end 149 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: into the room. It's just one mom, just one mom. Yeah. 150 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: So that and and the other thing is you're gonna 151 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 1: need somebody to hold the camera. I mean, come on, now, 152 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:46,319 Speaker 1: we're making videos. Yeah, yeah, we're making video. I hadn't 153 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,240 Speaker 1: been in there with a self is stick. It's hard, 154 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 1: but worked it out. Sometimes you gotta hold it. Sometimes 155 00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: you need her to hold it. Sometimes it'd be good. 156 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: Only I'm the only one who's been in the room 157 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,320 Speaker 1: with a self stick. I'm the owners one. Y'all ain't 158 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:16,800 Speaker 1: never been a room and say baby holding right. All 159 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm saying is, if you know, from a Timmy perspective, 160 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: if you want to have some fun, it's time to 161 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,800 Speaker 1: go back now and explore what your ex wife is doing. 162 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 1: Don't be jealous. Get in the game. Yes, that's where 163 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 1: I would be. So you got Thomas and you got Timmy. 164 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 1: Which one did you like? Like? I like Tommy? If 165 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 1: you want Thomas, if you want Thomas day, Hey, come on, man, 166 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: take you take your take your ex wife. I'll sit 167 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:51,680 Speaker 1: down and say, hey, hey, come on now, let's let's 168 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: do this, uh decent in order. If I don't even 169 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: want to call this decent, but let's at least have 170 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: some order to it while children are not in the 171 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: middle of this crazy triangle you got going on. Yeah, 172 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: That's what I was saying. You know, that's one way 173 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,160 Speaker 1: to look at it. Call another way to look at it, 174 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: leading people alone. Yeah, because Jay, you were saying what 175 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: for those that Mr was saying that. My my comment 176 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,719 Speaker 1: was stay out other folks been in leading people like 177 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: old people tell you in a minute eating other people. 178 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: You re mean when you was in school and somebody 179 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: to be drinking a nice cold sotal and they can 180 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 1: halfway through, you'd be like, hey, savings, something to tell 181 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: you save get money fun, you're not a bit Well. 182 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,560 Speaker 1: The X husband did ask for some advice, and you 183 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 1: know my answer earlier was that you know he had 184 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,840 Speaker 1: he needs to talk to his ex wife about establishing 185 00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: boundaries and introducing uh people that she's dating of the children, 186 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 1: their children, when you know there's some stability, longevity, and 187 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 1: when it's more solid relationship. He is jealous though, calling 188 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: I said that, I said, he might be just a 189 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,439 Speaker 1: little jealous, but you know, it's nothing he can do 190 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: about it. It's her life. He can't really honestly tell 191 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: her what to do. But you know, but then the 192 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: sound point then it sound a little funny that right 193 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: after the divorce, we go back to your house and 194 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 1: get yeah yeah, I mean yeah, what's that called the 195 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,520 Speaker 1: last one? Is that? What that is? That? This is 196 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 1: our last time? That time that this is our last time. 197 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 1: We're gonna gonna get it over with and go our 198 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:49,440 Speaker 1: separate ways. This is it you gotta do. That's very 199 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: unusual after divorce that one more time and now she's 200 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: in his love tryangle yeah, yeah, yeah, because everybody I've 201 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: seen lead the court room and left cousin. You know 202 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. I ain't never seen nobody to leave. 203 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: We're gonna go out to the house, get a drink 204 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: and get our bookt on. I ain't never seen that, right, right, right, right. 205 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: If it's over, it's over all right. If you have 206 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,680 Speaker 1: any comments on today's Strawberry Letter, you can email or 207 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: instagram us your thoughts at Steve Harvey FM, or you 208 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: can even go to lips Bark Carla and comment on 209 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:20,319 Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry Letter. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.