WEBVTT - I don't see any amputees! 

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's a really good movie, but I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>see any amputees. It's one more thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm one more thing.

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<v Speaker 1>We're all a little hungover from our Oscar parties last night.

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<v Speaker 1>We're big Oscar people around here. Did anybody watch a

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<v Speaker 1>single second of the show. Nope, Yeah I did. He did. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>good for you.

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't miss your bride interest editor. Were you driving

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<v Speaker 3>that train?

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<v Speaker 2>It was mainly her, But you know, we watched it

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<v Speaker 2>for the show, so to speak, get a little show preppy.

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<v Speaker 1>Good for you. And that's the only reason I do

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<v Speaker 1>most things, is pay attention to most things is for

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<v Speaker 1>the show. I have no idea once I'm done with

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<v Speaker 1>this job if I'll pay attention to anything ever again.

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<v Speaker 1>But I do pay some attention to the Oscars because

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<v Speaker 1>it tips me off to things I want to see.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I watched Marty Supreme only because Challameay was nominated

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<v Speaker 1>for Best Ask Oscar and I heard about how greatest

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<v Speaker 1>performance was. Otherwise I wouldn't have known about the movie.

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<v Speaker 1>So we watched it over the weekend. We really really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoyed it. I highly recommended. His performance is freaking unbelievable.

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<v Speaker 1>He might be my favorite current actor he's terrific in

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<v Speaker 1>all the world.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, Sean pennu On the best supporting actor, is

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<v Speaker 3>an amazing artist. Yeah, he's absolutely crazy good. But you

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<v Speaker 3>know what's interesting about stars?

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<v Speaker 1>Excuse me, he's allergical talking about this. Yeah, even talking

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<v Speaker 1>about the oscars makeing cough. I'm trying to choke it out,

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<v Speaker 1>but I can't.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm choking on my hatred.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh No.

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<v Speaker 3>But you'd think if you were one of the great

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<v Speaker 3>gifted artists, you know, in your field, that would be enough.

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<v Speaker 3>But everybody's also got to be a like top notch

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<v Speaker 3>political commentator.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, kind of funny. This is not a spoiler alert

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<v Speaker 1>from Marty Supreme really, although it's a funny line which

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<v Speaker 1>kind of gets from if I replete bunker repeated. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>he does an amazing job of pulling off as a

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<v Speaker 1>noodle boy. I had to explain that term to a

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<v Speaker 1>whole bunch of people who had never heard it before.

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<v Speaker 1>The whole noodle boy thing is like a section of

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<v Speaker 1>sex symbols that apparently a lot of chick into these

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<v Speaker 1>really skinny metrosexual dudes like Chalomey. He's dating one of

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<v Speaker 1>the Kardashians, one of the hot Kardashi essuan that like

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<v Speaker 1>noodle boys, he's clearly a noodle boy. He's shirtless a

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<v Speaker 1>fair amount in this movie. Man, he is a skeleton.

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<v Speaker 1>I so don't get that. I don't get that either,

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<v Speaker 1>but any I mean, and that's the way he's built.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a he can't help it. But the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that that has become like a sex symbol style is

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<v Speaker 1>kind of interesting to me.

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<v Speaker 3>But either reminds me almost of the early seventies, when

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<v Speaker 3>early mid seventies when like metro sexual kind of gender bendy,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, kind of hairless, skinny heroin looking dudes for sex,

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<v Speaker 3>Jimmy Page, you know, with David Bowie, that sort of character.

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<v Speaker 1>Although if I was a check I'd like Shallamey just

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<v Speaker 1>because he's very, very cool. But his character at one

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<v Speaker 1>point he's playing he's a table tennis hustler, which does

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<v Speaker 1>not give anything away. Welle guy says, how about you

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<v Speaker 1>put your money where your mouth is? He said, how

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<v Speaker 1>about I put my penis where your mouth is? I

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<v Speaker 1>got wow spoiler. My kids laughed really hard at that one.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, you know, I had forgotten this crap about

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<v Speaker 1>the oscars, or I would have paid even less attention.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't watch one second, and I would have paid

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<v Speaker 1>less attention than that.

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<v Speaker 3>Is it possible to pay anti attention to something?

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<v Speaker 1>Right? If I had remembered their new qualifications for movies

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<v Speaker 1>being considered for Best Picture, all right, I forgot all

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<v Speaker 1>about that lead or significant sporting actors from unrepresentative racial

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<v Speaker 1>or ethnic groups that you need to have a certain

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<v Speaker 1>number and all these different things to be to qualify

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<v Speaker 1>for a Best Picture nominee. That's why my joke was

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<v Speaker 1>as a really good movie, but I didn't see any amputees.

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<v Speaker 1>You've gotta meet various qualifications. This may include African American,

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<v Speaker 1>East Asian, Hispanic, or Latina EO or X. It has

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<v Speaker 1>here the Academy, I want you to say Latin E

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<v Speaker 1>Latino or LATINX okay or all three or okay, Indigenous people,

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<v Speaker 1>Middle Eastern Pacific Island or South Asian Southeast and at

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<v Speaker 1>least all these different things you have to have it

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<v Speaker 1>jen of.

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<v Speaker 3>That I'm making a movie about fishermen in Norway.

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<v Speaker 1>And I gotta have a LACHINEO X in. This a

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<v Speaker 1>Viking film. This is Vikings, This is Norwegian's taken on me.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, this is the vikings invading Britain in the year

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<v Speaker 3>thirteen hundred.

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<v Speaker 1>At least thirty percent of all actors for an OSCAR

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<v Speaker 1>nominated film must be from two under representative groups, which

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<v Speaker 1>may include women, racial or ethnic group LGBTQ plus, or

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<v Speaker 1>people with cognitive or physical disabilities, or who are deaf

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<v Speaker 1>or hard of hearing. This is so messed up for art.

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<v Speaker 1>You're gonna make a film and I don't know, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I walked around and I didn't see anybody

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<v Speaker 1>who seemed to be blind or hard of hearing. So sorry.

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<v Speaker 1>The characters are the actors, the last actors. Yeah, so

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<v Speaker 1>characters the actors. This is hilarious, hilarious.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a great illustration of how good Heart's paradox works.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that good Heart's law. Yeah, once a one law,

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<v Speaker 1>once a.

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<v Speaker 3>Measure becomes a standard.

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<v Speaker 1>Once a measure becomes a goal, it ceases to be

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<v Speaker 1>a good measure.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, right, exactly. So you know I would say, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>I played in bands for years and I kind of

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<v Speaker 3>got some hearing loss from the guitar amps. They'd be like,

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<v Speaker 3>thank God, sign this statement to that effect. All right,

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<v Speaker 3>you're hired.

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<v Speaker 1>You just go around to anybody you could reasonably.

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<v Speaker 3>Claim, yeah, my granddad I think was a Sioux Indian,

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<v Speaker 3>or maybe it was.

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<v Speaker 1>My great grand good enough sign here. Or you hire

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<v Speaker 1>somebody on for your movie and you say, hey, could

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<v Speaker 1>you do me a favorite? Limp around all the time?

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<v Speaker 1>What I just need you to limp around all the time.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a long story. If you could just limp around, or.

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<v Speaker 3>If I give you this signal, uh, you gotta start limping,

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<v Speaker 3>because that means the inspectors on this set all right, boss,

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<v Speaker 3>whatever it takes.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god. And then this one, which is even

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<v Speaker 1>crazier than that, your main storyline subject matter. So now

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<v Speaker 1>you're telling the artists of the world you're only allowed

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<v Speaker 1>to paint bowls of fruit or or a madonna with child,

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<v Speaker 1>these aline things you're allowed to paint, which actually kind

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<v Speaker 1>of was the rules ye back in.

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<v Speaker 3>The old ancient pope happy to do that for you.

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<v Speaker 1>The main storyline or subject matter the main storylines U

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<v Speaker 1>has to be centered on an at least a part

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<v Speaker 1>of the theme or narrative of the film has to

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<v Speaker 1>be centered on an unrepresentative group women, racial ethnic group,

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<v Speaker 1>LGBTQ plus, or people with cognitive or physical disabilities, or

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<v Speaker 1>dark or hard of hearing, hard of hearing. Yes, and

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<v Speaker 1>so like I'm trying to think back of movies. And

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<v Speaker 1>then and then another interesting thing, and this is.

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<v Speaker 3>So you got to have somebody go into a deli

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<v Speaker 3>or whatever. I'll have the U ham and Swiss. I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 3>said that again. I got a little hearing loss, hamond

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<v Speaker 3>Swiss and you've satisfied the standard.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh great drink, Yeah, no kidding.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the themes in Marty Supreme was him being Jewish.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder if they had to work that into the

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<v Speaker 1>script because it didn't the Hollywood accept horrible Zionist as

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<v Speaker 1>a special case. It wasn't important to the Oh you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, one of the actors who was really really

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<v Speaker 1>good was crazy overweight. I'll bet he counted, oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>because he was like really really big, good actor. But

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<v Speaker 1>you know, it's the whole DEI thing. You know, he'll

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<v Speaker 1>wonder for the rest of his life. Did I get

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<v Speaker 1>hired because I'm a good actor? Did you need a

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<v Speaker 1>profoundly obese person to qualify for Best Picture? They needed

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<v Speaker 1>to satisfy the body positivity movement. Mm hmm. Here's some problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Critics have argued the criteria is too easily met No kidding, Oppenheimer,

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<v Speaker 1>despite its predominantly white cast, qualified for picture through its

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<v Speaker 1>through its studios backing music. So there was somebody that

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<v Speaker 1>played on some of the music for the movie Oppenheimer

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<v Speaker 1>that I don't know was in a wheelchair or something.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's gay, wor's gay or whatever? Right? How crazy

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<v Speaker 1>is that?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah? You hear that background music in that scene. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>a third chair violinist is gay. I think he looks

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<v Speaker 3>gay anyway, sign.

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<v Speaker 1>Here I saw. I'm looking at a dude once. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know, you ask gay enough?

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<v Speaker 3>Right? Oh? These people are so there's such a parody

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<v Speaker 3>of them.

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<v Speaker 1>They really really are, and they have no idea of it. Again,

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<v Speaker 1>I paid no attention to it. I would have paid

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<v Speaker 1>less attention if I had remembered these stupid, stupid list

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, god dang it. They go on and on

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<v Speaker 1>about the importance of film and our art. And as

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<v Speaker 1>an artist, I okay, you're you're an artist who has

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<v Speaker 1>put down ridiculously quote ridiculous quotas for qualifying for art.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not the way art works.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, you got dark hairy, You will want to claim

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<v Speaker 3>your ancestors or inuits. Will it get me the job. Yes, well,

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<v Speaker 3>then yes I will.

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<v Speaker 1>How or where are the whales this season? I know

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<v Speaker 1>whatever you need.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean in Hollywood where people will will perform sexual

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<v Speaker 4>acts on loathsome old fat guys will they falsely claim

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<v Speaker 4>to be descended from Inuits.

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<v Speaker 1>G What do you think, good lord?

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<v Speaker 3>Or put up with being raped? Harvey Weinstein? You don't

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<v Speaker 3>think they'll falsely claim me. I got some hearing loss

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<v Speaker 3>on the right side. Oh my god, you people are hilarious.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, for putting your movie together, at least two

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<v Speaker 1>of the key creative roles, such as casting, director, cinematographer, composer, director, editor,

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<v Speaker 1>producer or writer must be from an unrepresentative group underrepresentative group.

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<v Speaker 1>So if you go the list of you know, the

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<v Speaker 1>people in the credits, you gotta there better be a

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<v Speaker 1>black woman in her somewhere, or a Hispanic dude or something,

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<v Speaker 1>or this picture doesn't count.

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<v Speaker 3>I read a piece by a white writer in Variety

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<v Speaker 3>who's like, yeah, all of a sudden, we can't get hired,

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<v Speaker 3>and now I know why. That's that's brutal.

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<v Speaker 1>And then this one, the film's distribution or financing company,

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<v Speaker 1>oh boy, must offer paid apprenticeships or internships. For underrepresentative

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<v Speaker 1>groups across departments like production, product, music, blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, oh my god, you got again.

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<v Speaker 3>This is this is anti caring. Now I have achieved

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<v Speaker 3>the theoretical physicists have speculated that this can occur. I

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<v Speaker 3>now have anti interest in the oscars.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, this is gonna ripple out for me because now

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<v Speaker 1>anytime I see anything that comes out of Hollywood and

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<v Speaker 1>I see you know exactly this character or that character

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<v Speaker 1>and be like, h take a shot. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the insidious part of affirmative action is the great

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<v Speaker 3>philosopher Thomas Solo has pointed out many times the sidekicker,

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<v Speaker 3>the guy down the block who turns out to be

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<v Speaker 3>the main character's friend, is a black guy. You're thinking, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>they had to put a black guy in there as

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<v Speaker 3>opposed to No, he's a really gifted actor, and you know,

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<v Speaker 3>as a neighborhood where you might find black people. No,

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<v Speaker 3>because it makes everybody under suspicion.

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<v Speaker 1>Should piss off all the quote underrepresented groups.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, so.

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<v Speaker 1>You know you're a check mark, right, And that last

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<v Speaker 1>one I'm sure is easy. So Warner Brothers makes up

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<v Speaker 1>a fake internship. They hire some twenty year old who's

0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:47.080
<v Speaker 1>one eighth jerokey. He says, show up every Monday at six.

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<v Speaker 1>What am I supposed to do? I don't care.

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<v Speaker 3>Go sit over there, do something, do nothing. I don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, oh my god, that's our art. That is hilarious.

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<v Speaker 1>It's hilarious on a couple ends. The obvious, which we've

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<v Speaker 1>said a bunch of times, is just putting rules on art,

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<v Speaker 1>is what. But then to feel like you're accomplishing something.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, to be so self congratulatory and self righteous.

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<v Speaker 1>That you think you've moved forward the lives of underrepresentative

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<v Speaker 1>people because of matching this so you can get nominated

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<v Speaker 1>for a Best Picture. Yeah whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>And to be so harshly judgmental of anybody who doesn't

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<v Speaker 3>think you're doing the most valuable work on earth. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>oh those people are.

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<v Speaker 1>And then they go up there and give a speech

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<v Speaker 1>about how awful we are. Hilarious.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you imagine telling Sean Penny has a limp around

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<v Speaker 2>in the last scene or something, Well, I guess that's it.