1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,239 Speaker 1: How do I, twenty four male, get my dad fifty 2 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: two male, to realize his wife thirty eight is not 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: my mom and to quit pressing a relationship. And there 4 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: are some juicy, juicy updates into that, so let's get 5 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: into it. So my mom passed when I was fourteen. Thanks. 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: I was always closer with her than my dad, So 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: I took it very hard and still missed her every day. 8 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: My dad moved on extremely quickly. How quickly is too quickly? 9 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 2: We've said there was a rule we made. 10 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a rule. It's a month for every 11 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,720 Speaker 1: year of marriage. Yeah, yeah, so you would, all right, 12 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: so in this marriage at least probably fourteen years if 13 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: they were married like a little bit before their child, 14 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: So fourteen months. 15 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 2: At least fourteen months at least, Like, all right, that's 16 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 2: still kind. 17 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: Of April Hendrix says, within a year is fine, but 18 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: I'm talking one and a half months later. Bro man 19 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: moved quick. 20 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: He couldn't even wait for two rent bills. 21 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, and he was openly dating his current wife. I 22 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 1: suspect he was cheating on my mom. She moved in 23 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 1: four months after my mom's death. Oh, then nine months 24 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: after her death, they announced their engagement on my birthday 25 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: as one of my gifts. You're joking. Yeah, it's a 26 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: great gift. This poving someone else that we're in. 27 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: This poor fourteen year old kid is trying to grieve 28 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 3: and you go on their the one day he's like, 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 3: you know what, maybe i'll get a little bit of 30 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 3: sunshine today. I'll just or just try to enjoy it. 31 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 3: And they're like, hey, we're taking this this woman and 32 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 3: making her your mom. 33 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 2: Now, aren't you happy? 34 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: Great? Yeah, I love that, love that not. So I 35 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: obviously didn't take that well, made a scene, dumped the kick, 36 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: they caught me, and walked out. Oh my god, what 37 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: kind of gift is saying we're married? I'm sorry, that's 38 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: that's like, that's like proposing at someone else's wedding. Literally, 39 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: you know, it's like stealing the wedding under Honestly. 40 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 2: This is so much worse. This. This is a child 41 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 2: grieving the loss of his mother. 42 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, like I like, I'm okay with that because like, 43 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: I got you a new mom. 44 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 3: I'm giving the kid the past because I'm yeah best president. 45 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 1: Stop stop. So I disappeared for a few days until 46 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: they were about to put out a missing person slash 47 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: runaway report and I was forced to go back. Oh, 48 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: they tried to get rid of all evidence of my mom, pictures, 49 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: personal effects, memories, and others. I kept what I could 50 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: and hid some others. So basically, op is trying to 51 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: like preserve the memory of their mom because the dad 52 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: and the new girlfriend are just taking it away. 53 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 3: Sam, I think we got to enter a red flag 54 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 3: red flag segment because what kind of you're You're coming 55 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 3: in to be a step mom, right, and you think 56 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 3: that going to this person that the husband and the 57 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 3: kid and being like, oh, hey, let's announce it. You 58 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 3: think that's good for this child, You're going to be 59 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,639 Speaker 3: a good No red flag on you as a step mom, 60 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 3: red flag on you as a wife, all the red flags. 61 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 1: It's they're like trying to just brush the past under 62 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: the rug one hundred percent and like but not not 63 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: even the past, like the memory of the memory of 64 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: one Like you can't just like you can't just bury 65 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: someone's memory, especially for a child. 66 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 3: A green flag would have been, hey, you know we 67 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 3: have this, let's say they didn't She like, hey, we 68 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 3: have this thing kind of burgeoning, but I don't want to. 69 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 3: You know, you're still grieving your child's are a greeving 70 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 3: let's like really take our time like that would have 71 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 3: been the green flag. 72 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: But they did not take their time. They announced it 73 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: on our birthday. A lot so bad so they tried 74 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: to force me to call her dad's wife mom. I 75 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: never did. They would ignore me when I called her 76 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: by her name, she would introduce herself as my mom. 77 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: I would correct her every time. It got to the 78 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: point that I stopped talking to her unless absolutely necessary 79 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: or if I was correcting her. These talks were usually 80 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,839 Speaker 1: one word answers, wow. My dad got angry every time 81 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: I didn't call her mom, use her first name, or 82 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: introduce her as dad's wife. I once spent two weeks 83 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: not talking to either of them when I was sixteen, 84 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: because I was ruining their family dynamic. I quote, until 85 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: I can be part of the family. There was nothing 86 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: to say or do as one. They caved at about 87 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: the fifteenth day of no communications luss interaction. Wait, so 88 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: they didn't talk to her either, which is super childish. 89 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 2: I think, Yeah. I think they went to OPI and 90 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 2: they're like, we're not even gonna talk. 91 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: To You're not talking to you. Silent treatment talk to 92 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: the hand because the wife and and you're because you're 93 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: a mom and your dad are not listening. 94 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? 95 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: This is so bad? Yeah? Jesse C says this is crazy. 96 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,400 Speaker 1: I'm a widow of three years with two kids. I 97 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 1: can't even imagine this. I am with the other commenter 98 00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,159 Speaker 1: saying they were having an affair. Yeah, I think so 99 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: totally and shin stuff. His dad is such an asshole. 100 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: Heather Marquees says, red a flag for the dad. Janelle 101 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 1: says a month and a half is way too early. 102 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,240 Speaker 1: Gut her wife says gross, Yeah, it's pretty gross. Yeah, 103 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: it's pretty disgusting. I can't believe they would do that. 104 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 1: I turned eighteen and left for UNI and went extremely 105 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: low contact and didn't go back. When I was twenty one, 106 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 1: I got engaged to my fiance. She knows about my 107 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: relationship with my dad and his wife. She suspects it 108 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 1: and is on my side, So I guess. 109 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 2: Suspects that cheating. 110 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: Cheating. Yeah, they didn't know I was seeing anyone. My 111 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 1: dad's wife posted on social media saying she was excited 112 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: that her son me was getting married, with a bunch 113 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,839 Speaker 1: of other things, saying she can't wait until she becomes 114 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: a grandma. I made a short post saying I am 115 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,359 Speaker 1: not and never was her son, and she won't be 116 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: your grandma to any future kid. The fire, the fire. 117 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 2: Talk your taco bee. 118 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's wow, that's intense. 119 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: That's a public blast. That's a public blast for sure. 120 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,119 Speaker 2: Book shot. 121 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,720 Speaker 1: Also like, I feel the if if this step mom 122 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: wants to be called mom, the way to go about 123 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,119 Speaker 1: it is not to force. It has to naturally happened. 124 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 1: Are you kidding? 125 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 3: Like you can't make someone call you mommy? I mean, 126 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 3: you can't make someone call you mommy. 127 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:30,800 Speaker 1: Can't do it. Put mommies in the chat. So Op 128 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: was like, I'm not going to engage this. I wrote 129 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 1: that short post. My dad got mad, saying I was 130 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:42,440 Speaker 1: disrespecting my mother and embarrassed her. I asked who we 131 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:46,280 Speaker 1: were talking about, because my only mother was real only 132 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: bio gave me life mom, and at this point I 133 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: lost both of my parents on that day when I 134 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: was fourteen. Wow. Also, thanks for the mommies and the 135 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,919 Speaker 1: chat guys. Yeah, John reword that please. I'm sorry, but 136 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 1: that was three years ago and we went back to 137 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,000 Speaker 1: low slash no contact so like like three years ago, 138 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: when Opie's getting married or like has the fiance, they 139 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 1: they like make that Facebook post and then OPI's like, 140 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: I can't take any of this. I'm going low no contact. Yeah, 141 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: but but my wife is about eight months pregnant, and 142 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: they showed up to my house. I never gave them 143 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: my address. They wanted to talk and meet my wife. 144 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: I didn't let them in and said to turn around 145 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:34,440 Speaker 1: and go back to where they came from. Oh my god, 146 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: I want to know what y'all would do. Would you 147 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: would you let them in or would you say go 148 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 1: back to where you came from put your answers in 149 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: the chat? That would That's a tough one. That's a 150 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: tough one. 151 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 2: That's a tough one to do. 152 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: I mean, I let my dad in, but I wouldn't 153 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: let mommy in. 154 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 3: I honestly, I feel like I would probably let them in. 155 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 3: But I also haven't lived through this experience experience. 156 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 2: You know, I don't. I don't really like blame op 157 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 2: but me personally, I don't. 158 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:02,040 Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, I don't know. I would hard to say. 159 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 1: I don't like the whole forcing of the momminess. 160 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 3: It's always it's always like I show up at the house, 161 00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 3: so you kind of can't refuse me. 162 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:16,119 Speaker 1: But yeah, but yeah, kiss this door. Baby. They wanted 163 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: to talk to meet my wife. I didn't let them 164 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: in and then to turn around and go back where 165 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: they came from. But apparently they decided they wanted to 166 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: move to my city state to be closer and repair 167 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: the relationship between us, So they're moving. She said she 168 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:32,560 Speaker 1: missed her son and wanted to be a better mom 169 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: and grandma. 170 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 2: Gee, what a way to go about it. 171 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:40,400 Speaker 1: I called them delusional and told them to leave and 172 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: slam the door. They bought a house about five minutes 173 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: away from us. Oh my god, five minutes? Do you 174 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 1: get it? Freaking hint y'all get a hint, that'd get 175 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: a hint. This has all been way too much for me, 176 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: and my therapist wants me to let them in, but 177 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: I would rather cut all contact. It wouldn't be so bad, 178 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 1: and they just would stop trying to replace my mom 179 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: and act like she never existed. I honestly don't know 180 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,440 Speaker 1: much about my dad's wife. I don't even know if 181 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,240 Speaker 1: I know who my dad is anymore. My wife is 182 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,200 Speaker 1: struggling to support me emotionally, and doesn't know how to 183 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: help please internet strangers. How do I convince them Dad 184 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: and my wife she is not and will never be 185 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 1: my mom? And there is a quick edit and a choicy, 186 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 1: thick update. I'll read the quick edit and then I 187 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: kind of want to break down everything. Yeah, So about 188 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 1: my therapist, he said, I should try to express my 189 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: true feelings toward them in a non hostile and threatening manner. 190 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: Do it in a way that is constructive. It gets 191 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 1: to the point learn more about what my dad and 192 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 1: his wife want and get to the root of who 193 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: they are and how they feel about the situation. But 194 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to find a better therapist. Yeah, He's like, 195 00:09:51,679 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: I don't know like this therapist by so, I mean, 196 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,199 Speaker 1: what would you do, what would like how would you 197 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: communicate to this I don't know these people that so 198 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: insistent for years that they want to have like some 199 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,920 Speaker 1: kind of relationship that I don't know, you don't want 200 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: to have. 201 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 3: I think over seventeen years, seven years, sorry, because it's 202 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 3: from fourteen to twenty one at least. Yeah, So, like, 203 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 3: I mean, that's where we're getting on a decade. 204 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,319 Speaker 1: Of pert Mobby forcing. Bobby's forcing not good sounds like 205 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: a new category. 206 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: Oh goodness, gracious, so Angela A. 207 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 3: Gatlin and I saw also someone else come at this 208 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 3: before restraining order. 209 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, that is the that's the I feel like that 210 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: is the resolution without any like emotional resolution. I guess. Yeah, 211 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 1: it's like it's a resolution for you so you don't 212 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,840 Speaker 1: have to deal with it. Yeah, but like will it 213 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: get at the root of the problem. Maybe it could. 214 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: It could. It could like like just getting them out 215 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: of your life is like, hey, I don't watch you 216 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,559 Speaker 1: in my life. How could I be any more clear 217 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:47,319 Speaker 1: that it could. 218 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,439 Speaker 3: Sarah Ratofis has a good one. So explain to her 219 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 3: that she made your grieving process harder, she did not 220 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 3: respect his pain, and because of her actions, he cannot 221 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 3: ever see her in a motherly way. Explain that she 222 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 3: has even tried to be his friend. 223 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's really true. Well, I think I think 224 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: maybe maybe some maybe what you can do and like 225 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: like taking the advice of the therapist is explain in 226 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 1: a very calm and empathetic way, like yeah, like what 227 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: kind of Sarah said, and sit down with them, but 228 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,480 Speaker 1: then like say like I don't want a relationship with you, 229 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: and this is why. Yeah, like they might not accept 230 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 1: it though, so maybe you have to go restraining order 231 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: after that. Yeah, I get. 232 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 3: It's like, hey, give them because because I guess their 233 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 3: relationship has almost been this kind of cat mouse of 234 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 3: like hey, you know, let me be blah blah blah. 235 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 3: And then Op he's like, no, everything you do is 236 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 3: so crazy. You never give me a chance to grieve 237 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 3: other list of things that you've done to me, Like, 238 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 3: I'm not even going to entertain this. So if you 239 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 3: gave it one sit down, it's like, all right, you 240 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,680 Speaker 3: need to come to this sit down and listen because 241 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 3: I'm going to break it all down for you if 242 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 3: you don't get it after that. 243 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 1: And maybe maybe there's a way, maybe OP can have 244 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,680 Speaker 1: some stipulations of like this is the relationship that I'd 245 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 1: want to have with you, Yeah, right, like like these 246 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: are the terms of it. If you can't agree to 247 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: the terms, then I don't want anything to do with you. 248 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 3: And on the flip side of the coin, I understand 249 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,559 Speaker 3: OP being like now now OP is having to do 250 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,839 Speaker 3: all this work of like okay, I'll sit down, like 251 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 3: break it all down. If y'all I'll unload my emotional 252 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,960 Speaker 3: baggage to help you try to understand. 253 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: Anyone boots to understand. 254 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,079 Speaker 3: Yeah, and when it's like I just want to live 255 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 3: my freaking yeah, I just want. 256 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 1: To I feel like the restraining order might be the 257 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: easy it might be. 258 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 2: It just might be. 259 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never has anyone gotten a restraining order? And 260 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: like how effective are those? 261 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 2: Yeah? 262 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: Like are they super effective? I guess I would love 263 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 1: to know. But yeah, you could take someone to court, 264 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:45,079 Speaker 1: but garbage DM says, then when they break the restraining order. 265 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,280 Speaker 3: So garbage tam first said, you don't have to do 266 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 3: a restraining order since those are. 267 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 2: Harder to do. 268 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 3: The true easy way would be to start with a 269 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,800 Speaker 3: cease and assist since those are written intent, and then 270 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 3: use that to build a no contact Uh okay, interesting 271 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 3: and then or was it? And then when they break that, 272 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,480 Speaker 3: you get a restraining order? So I guess that's easier. 273 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,679 Speaker 1: And then Heather Marquette says not effective at all. It's 274 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,040 Speaker 1: a piece of paper. But Janelle says, unfortunately they're not 275 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: as effective as they should be. That you a fellow says, 276 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: they can walk through a restraining order, but it all 277 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: depends on the person and if they want to press charges. 278 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: So it seems like I mean that that communicates a 279 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: message of like, don't talk to me, but it may 280 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: not be as effective in practice. 281 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a force field. 282 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: It's not a force field that we need some of 283 00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:36,920 Speaker 1: those Dune force fields that'd be great. Yeah, dude, Riley 284 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:41,040 Speaker 1: and I were watching Doing earlier this week. Dude, Dune's amazing. 285 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 2: I fell asleep. 286 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: I also fell asleep. All right, so here is the 287 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 1: big fat juicy up there. So hello all. Thank you 288 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,600 Speaker 1: for your comments and feedback. I did read them all 289 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: I could reply. So for those who said I must 290 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,880 Speaker 1: be fake because of lack of reply such updates, the 291 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: post got so much attention that it was locked in 292 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: twenty four hours. I do have a life with work 293 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 1: and an eight month pregnant queen that I have the 294 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 1: privilege of calling my wife. That took priority. I love 295 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:14,719 Speaker 1: how Reddit it's like you're an answered three minutes. Baby. 296 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: My wife, me, and our unborn child are doing good. Overall. 297 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 1: My wife is over being pregnant at this point. Our 298 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: child should be here in the coming weeks. I did 299 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: find a new therapist. I called to cancel the rest 300 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: of my appointments on the books, and he did not 301 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,560 Speaker 1: take that well. So I've put a complaint. I met 302 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 1: with my new one and I like her a lot better. 303 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm actually being heard and actually getting 304 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: the help I need. I want to make this clear. 305 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: I am twenty four. My dad's wife is thirty eight, 306 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 1: fourteen years older than me. My dad is fifty two, 307 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 1: fourteen years older than his wife. So when she entered 308 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: my life, I was fourteen and she was twenty eight. 309 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: I feel like Dad, it was one hundred percent cheating. 310 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 3: Yeah right, totally, totally right. Like, which is so crazy 311 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 3: is why his wife was literally dying. 312 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, but that is that is when people cheat. Most 313 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 1: people cheat. Most we have people are in the hospital, 314 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 1: and when people are pregnant, So just I guess theyware. 315 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,400 Speaker 2: Do not get pregnant. 316 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 1: There were also theories about how my dad might have 317 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 1: had something to do with my mom's death. That is 318 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,640 Speaker 1: not the case. Oh wow, dude, Reddit is going crazy. 319 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: But I still believe they were together before she passed. 320 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: I am investing in a security system, but it will 321 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,000 Speaker 1: be a few weeks until they can install it. But 322 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: for now, we have a doorbell cam in some cheaper cameras. 323 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 1: Now onto social media since the post about her being 324 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: excited about being a grandma. How my wife and I 325 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,800 Speaker 1: getting engaged. We have locked down all social media. My 326 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 1: wife and I are not active on any platforms anymore 327 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: except for messaging or sharing pictures. And I guess also 328 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: to millions on Reddit hello, hello there, oh peep, we 329 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: found the leak as well. It is my brother in law, 330 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:09,520 Speaker 1: so the leak I guess of how the parents found 331 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: opeople right and the baby and everything wife's sister's husband. 332 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: We had a family dinner where we had planned on 333 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 1: working on the birthday plan. Brother in law was insistent 334 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,760 Speaker 1: on being there, which was odd as he was not 335 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: part of it to begin with. While we were waiting 336 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: for my mother in law to get home, I shared 337 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 1: what happened between my dad and how it made me 338 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: slash my wife feel. Brother in law got visibly uncomfortable 339 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: When I called him out on it, He denied, but 340 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 1: it was obvious. Sister in law called him out and 341 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: he broke down. He said he had been talking with 342 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: them because we need all the family support we could 343 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 1: get and they should know their grand baby. This caused 344 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: an argument. It ended with sister in law moving out 345 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: and staying with us. They have no kids and have 346 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: had some issues. I think it is over for them 347 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: and I will never trust him. Oh my god, another. 348 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 3: Relations another relations destroying Wow my goodness, Wow yeah wow. 349 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,920 Speaker 1: Sky Nicholson says, sir, mine your business. I mean, for sure, 350 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: what are you? What are you doing meddling? Like why 351 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:22,719 Speaker 1: I wonder if like the father and the father's wife 352 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: coerced or not coerce. But like we're talking in his ear, 353 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: making him like emotionally sabotaging him to do they're bidding 354 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: join their family death he tests to take over. Yeah, 355 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,360 Speaker 1: and it's so crazy because he's the brother in law. 356 00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 3: He's not even related by blood, so it's like, what 357 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:39,920 Speaker 3: are you talking about? 358 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 2: We need a family. They're not even your family if 359 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,120 Speaker 2: we want to get really technical. 360 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 1: And also like yes, family is great and family can 361 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: help a lot, but if you if if you hate them, 362 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:53,560 Speaker 1: that it's not helpful for the round. 363 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 2: It doesn't do anything. 364 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 1: Literally emotionally taxing for them to be around. 365 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:58,719 Speaker 2: What are we doing here? 366 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:02,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, we're doing the wrong thing. Our birthing plan has 367 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:05,679 Speaker 1: been locked down and secure made a day later without 368 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 1: brother in law, but we have some just in case 369 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,479 Speaker 1: of crazier showing up. Plans Everyone who needs to know 370 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 1: the plan Sush details knows about the birth right now, 371 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,120 Speaker 1: it is surprisingly hard to get a protection order where 372 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:22,359 Speaker 1: I live. It is heavily dependent on violence or physical contact. Technically, 373 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: what they have done is not against the law, yet 374 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 1: they're perceived as no real danger at this time. Since 375 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 1: they were no threats made and they left when asked to, 376 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,359 Speaker 1: they have free will to move wherever they want. Also, 377 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 1: since a family member gave another family member my address, 378 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:40,680 Speaker 1: it is fair game, so it sounds like they didn't 379 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: violate anything that would constitute needing overstraining right. In regards 380 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: to grandparents' rights, it is only when my wife and 381 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 1: I have lost custody or or are unable to care 382 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: for them, but my mother in law and father in 383 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,600 Speaker 1: law will be taking on that role if needed. So basically, 384 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,400 Speaker 1: like I think, it's like a god parent kind of situation. Right, 385 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,000 Speaker 1: my wife and I are not in a position to move. 386 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: We just bought our house when interest rates were low 387 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:09,119 Speaker 1: and my in laws helped the down payment. It is 388 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: nothing massive, but it is home and perfect for our 389 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:15,840 Speaker 1: starter family, which is annoying because the op's dad and 390 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: his wife are now around the corner of five minutes 391 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: away and to uproot your whole life like it's not 392 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: worth it, not worth it. My dad and his wife 393 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: are unable, so I shouldn't have kids. I don't know 394 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,199 Speaker 1: from what side made it impossible, So that may be 395 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,600 Speaker 1: why the constant pressure to be involved into the kid's life. 396 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: I did write my dad a letter summing up why 397 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: I want no contact. That's good. I feel like that's 398 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 1: kind of what we wanted. We wanted some like emotional 399 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: breakdown of why I'm uninterested in it. 400 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,239 Speaker 3: Let he's smart too, because it's like it's not as 401 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,760 Speaker 3: much burden on ope, but it's still like, hey, I'm 402 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 3: gonna break it down for you. 403 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 2: So there's no ambiguity. 404 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 1: You understand, Yeah, you understand exactly what you did wrong 405 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,400 Speaker 1: and why. So how I feel about what he did, 406 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 1: how his wife is not my mom and never well be. 407 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 1: If I feel like giving them a chance, it is 408 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:04,199 Speaker 1: on my slash my family's terms. So this is what 409 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: was what was in the letter. Specify that my family 410 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: is me, my wife, and any possible children. Moving forward, 411 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,399 Speaker 1: they are not to talk to my wife or I 412 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 1: at any time unless it is through our lawyer. He 413 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: can decide what information to pass on. They are not 414 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,359 Speaker 1: welcome around us at any point, including our house, school, daycare, 415 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 1: social gatherings, birthdays, christmases, barbecues, et cetera, as well as 416 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:30,679 Speaker 1: in public. We are strangers, keep space and act like 417 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 1: we don't exist. If they break this, they will get 418 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,760 Speaker 1: a follow up letter up to and including a protection order. 419 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,439 Speaker 1: The opie's going really part of the paint, yes, but 420 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 1: probably needed at this point. 421 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 2: Need it at It's fine? 422 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 3: I mean you have all this time, like basically your 423 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 3: formative young adult years, like they've kind of showed them 424 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 3: who they are. 425 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 2: And why why keep why why? 426 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: Maryam from YouTube says, the dad is such a biastander, Like, 427 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,280 Speaker 1: I'm surprised that dad isn't enforcing what op he wants, 428 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,439 Speaker 1: like his what his child wants, and instead choosing his 429 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: wife over. 430 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 3: It seems like from the jump, because he remembered very early, 431 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,440 Speaker 3: he was like start calling her mom. He was standing 432 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,560 Speaker 3: behind the new wife and just letting her. Probably she's 433 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,639 Speaker 3: like we're doing this, and he's like, okay, yes, screw 434 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 3: my son, let's do it. 435 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,640 Speaker 1: You know. So I feel like he's probably being totally 436 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: controlled yes by the wife, yes, completely controlled. Yeah, not 437 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: a good look not a good look. The letter was 438 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 1: quite long. Our lawyer looked it over and my wife 439 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,640 Speaker 1: and I signed it. Then he signed it as well 440 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,200 Speaker 1: as it is being notarized, and then we made legal 441 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,479 Speaker 1: copies for all our records. My lawyer went with a 442 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,919 Speaker 1: private delivery service and hand delivered it to him with 443 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: a signature of received goods plus video evidence as well. 444 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,120 Speaker 1: So far, so good on that end. I'm now focused 445 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: on my wife and soon to be child. I hope 446 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 1: I'm ready. I know how not to be a father. 447 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: So there is that. They for all of your input. 448 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,439 Speaker 1: Is there anything else I should do or think of 449 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 1: to protect the family. I would love to know from 450 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:10,920 Speaker 1: you guys what you think. But there is a thick update, 451 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: thick update, so there there's more. But what do you 452 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 1: think Opie should do? Stella Davis says the dad death 453 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: didn't deserve Opie's mom agreed one hundred Yeah, not like 454 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,440 Speaker 1: I mean the dad, the dad like has no spine, 455 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 1: no to not to just like completely bend over to 456 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,640 Speaker 1: what his his like new wife wants. Yeah, it's kind 457 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:33,000 Speaker 1: of whack. 458 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 3: It's kind of very very bad, like he should from 459 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,919 Speaker 3: especially from fourteen, right after the mom passed away like 460 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 3: that's that's the most sad. 461 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 1: Yeah, literally giving no like like giving no time for 462 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 1: OP to really create, you know. Uh, but we'll worry 463 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,320 Speaker 1: a little bit of comments before we get into this thick, 464 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 1: juicy update. Also, to everyone here, thank you for coming 465 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 1: to a live. We're just kind of getting used to this. 466 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: This whole live will be Once it's done, it will 467 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:04,639 Speaker 1: go for members only, so if you want to support 468 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 1: the channel, go subscribe to our members only so you 469 00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: can get access to all our lives after it's done. 470 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 1: These episodes also will come out on the regular feed, 471 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: but if you want like the unedited live versions, please 472 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 1: support our members only channel. It really helps with just 473 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: making the show better and better. The Raven says, John, 474 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,719 Speaker 1: your hair is so luscious and pretty today. It's the conditioner. Yeah, Janelle, 475 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 1: it's on. It's on YouTube if. 476 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,040 Speaker 2: You guys want to see YouTube. 477 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:34,200 Speaker 1: Stella Davis says, apart from everyone changing names and making 478 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,679 Speaker 1: step Monster think they move with an elaborate ruse, I 479 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:43,160 Speaker 1: can't think of anything. Uh yeah, yeah, I mean getting say. 480 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: Mara Garcia says, like getting cameras, I feel like extra security. 481 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 3: Which it sounds like Op's on and they're like they're 482 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,680 Speaker 3: working on that, right. Yeah, several cameras several weeks for 483 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 3: the new camera setup. 484 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think I think that's probably a good move. 485 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:04,440 Speaker 1: But shall we get into the final updates? We'll do it. 486 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 Speaker 1: In the weeks leading up to my wife giving birth, 487 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: things were stressful. I ended up having my first panic attack. 488 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: That was not fun. My wife helped me through that. 489 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,920 Speaker 1: One brother in law try to apologize and get back 490 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: with my sister in law, but effed up that by 491 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,919 Speaker 1: trying to explain himself again on how he was in 492 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,360 Speaker 1: the right by reconnecting my parents and my family. After that, 493 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 1: their divorce has been moving quickly. 494 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:31,720 Speaker 2: There we go. 495 00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: I love this little side story that could be a 496 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: whole Reddit story and it's truly Yeah, I want that one. 497 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, that would be great. So my 498 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 1: wife giving birth was an amazing experience for me. The 499 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,280 Speaker 1: moment I held my child for the first time amaze me. 500 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,159 Speaker 1: How can I love something so tiny and who I 501 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: just met so much so quickly? Both baby and my 502 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: wife are doing really well. My wife started saying she 503 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 1: feels like a cow. I'm not sure how to make 504 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 1: her stop, but she keeps randomly moving at me, that's 505 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: actually really cute. 506 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,680 Speaker 2: You know, they have a good sense of humor in 507 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 2: a good vibe again, Yeah, that's oi. 508 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 1: My dad and his wife. Oh, my dad and his 509 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 1: wife tried to show up at the hospital. Yikes, gosh. 510 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: Still not sure how they found us or knew where 511 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: we were, but staff blocked them and covered for us. 512 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: Like a bunch of you said. We would start running 513 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,640 Speaker 1: into them randomly around town, mainly grocery shopping stores. Even 514 00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 1: if I drove out of my way. We would sometimes 515 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 1: bump into one or both of them. I have an 516 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,520 Speaker 1: okay story time about bumping into people that you maybe 517 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 1: don't want contact with all the time. Okay, we would 518 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: sometimes bump into one or both of them. Law enforcement 519 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,120 Speaker 1: still says they are not doing anything against the law 520 00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: and don't seem dangerous, slush malicious. We did our best 521 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,159 Speaker 1: to ignore them or stay home or have a family 522 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: member get the items. My therapist has sure earned her 523 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: paycheck the last few months. Lawyer is trying their best, 524 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,280 Speaker 1: but they the laws I feel are against us. Innocent 525 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,280 Speaker 1: until proven guilty or in this case, nothing is dangerous 526 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 1: until after it is, or hurry up and wait until 527 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: something bad happens. And then we might do something. It's 528 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:17,639 Speaker 1: super frustrating. Also, we moved now I never want to 529 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: do that again. Good family helps, but with a newborn 530 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,119 Speaker 1: and crazy people around, it was stressful. I know it 531 00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 1: doesn't sound possible, and I'm still in disbelief, but my 532 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: in laws are amazing and got us in contact with 533 00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: a friend of theirs. Long story short, these friends wanted 534 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,400 Speaker 1: to downside since all of their kids moved out, told 535 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 1: the in laws and brought them over. We ended up 536 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: coming up with a really good deal. Our new home 537 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 1: is bigger on more Land, but needs a lot of work. 538 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,000 Speaker 1: Still baby friendly though it is as old and outdated, 539 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 1: but we have been making it ours. We were not 540 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 1: rich by any stretch of the imagination. We have a 541 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 1: good network around us. I'm still doing ninety nine percent 542 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: of the work to the house of myself. Sister in 543 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 1: law moved in to help make it possible. Since moving, 544 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: we have not seen my dad or his wife. Wow, 545 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:06,280 Speaker 1: that was until that was until that was until that 546 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:11,480 Speaker 1: wasn't two weeks ago? Okay. I was going to update 547 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: and did write all of the above. Then, since my 548 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:17,400 Speaker 1: lawyer contacted me saying my dad reached out and wanted 549 00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,840 Speaker 1: to talk. I tried to say hard pass, but they 550 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,439 Speaker 1: advised me by saying, I think it would be in 551 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,679 Speaker 1: your best interest. We set up a date in a 552 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,000 Speaker 1: time in public. Okay, so we're meeting with the dad 553 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,120 Speaker 1: one on one, which is what some of you guys 554 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: said that uh OP should do in the first place. Yeah, 555 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: meet one on one. Three days later at a coffee shop. 556 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: We met up. Even though we were early. They were 557 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:44,639 Speaker 1: waiting for us. It was just my wife and I 558 00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: also paralegal from my lawyer's office undercover. I could see 559 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: the disappointment in their eyes that our child did not 560 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 1: come with us because they wanted to see the kids. 561 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 2: What do you expect? 562 00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:01,920 Speaker 1: It started awkward at first. They started some small bs talk, 563 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 1: but I just said, what do you want? Yep, Well, 564 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,160 Speaker 1: my dad's health is not well and is going downhill steadily, 565 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: may have twoish years at most. They showed scans, doctor's notes, tests, 566 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: and other items to prove it. Okay, well yeah, really 567 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 1: quick pause break down here. Does would this change anything 568 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: for you? So if if like you were going no 569 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:34,399 Speaker 1: contact with family, they wronged you in some way. But 570 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 1: your dad is saying, like, basically, I'm on my deathbed 571 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,680 Speaker 1: does this change anything. 572 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 2: I think you still. 573 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 3: I think you still say like I will give you 574 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 3: a chance now, But that doesn't mean that you can 575 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 3: continue to do what you've done in the past. The 576 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,680 Speaker 3: second you continue to start doing that, especially with you know, 577 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 3: the new the new child, like you have to recognize 578 00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:00,280 Speaker 3: maybe use that as the maybe not an ultimate him, 579 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: but like recognize what I've been telling you this whole time, 580 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 3: that you didn't let me grieve and that you brought 581 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 3: in this new mom and that that was all wrong. 582 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. And also maybe maybe it's just separating them, 583 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: like in terms of like, hey, I want a relationship 584 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,600 Speaker 1: with you, dad, I don't want a relationship with her. 585 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: That's a great point, and so I'm I'm happy to 586 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: have you visit, but I do not want her. I 587 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,160 Speaker 1: don't want a relationship with her. She's not my mom. 588 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: I've never had a relationship with her. She's always forced 589 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 1: this like title of motherhood on me that I never wanted, 590 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: and she's tried to systematically erase my real mom, the 591 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,240 Speaker 1: mom that passed away when I was fourteen. 592 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 2: I can't do it. 593 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: I want to what you guys think. We'll read some 594 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: of the comments, so Jem says, have the dad explain 595 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: how it happened so fast? Yeah? Yeah, clean, that's what happened. 596 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 1: Janelle says, if he keeps step monster in law away 597 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 1: from him and his family only, yeah, that's a I 598 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 1: think that's a really good stipulation. Heather Marquet says, I 599 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: want to say no, but I know I would try 600 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: to make something work. I mean, which does I mean 601 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 1: if your dad's dying like I feel, I feel like 602 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: emotions but totally total. But Pinky de Slayer says, they 603 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: still can't see my child. All come see them, but 604 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: not my child. Mindy Wilder says, I don't know. The 605 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: dad picked the step mom over his son time and 606 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: time again, so I might not. So yeah, I mean 607 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think you can try to 608 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,040 Speaker 1: have it on your terms, but ultimately it's up to 609 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 1: the dad to say what he wants. But let's get 610 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 1: big protein. 611 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 2: Me looking good? Oh yeah, we're looking good, beautiful. I 612 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 2: just had a conspiracy theory. 613 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: What's your conspiracy theory? Really? 614 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,240 Speaker 2: Okay? So have you guys ever seen community? 615 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: Yes? 616 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 2: Okay, you know, sure, crap. What's the old guy's name, 617 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 2: Chevy Chase Pierce. 618 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, pierers he would fake a heart attack? Do you 619 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,040 Speaker 1: think he like photoshop figured out how to photoshop all 620 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:54,400 Speaker 1: this stuff? 621 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,200 Speaker 3: And it's like, so you think that dad is faking? Yeah, 622 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 3: that thought definitely crossed my mind. Yeah, thinking it all 623 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 3: all right, Well, let's see that's that's a good, good 624 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 3: conspiracy theory. 625 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 2: Back to reality. 626 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 1: Back to reality. Baby. I was quiet the entire time 627 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 1: they talked, and all I could think about is that 628 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 1: sucks for him. It was like getting news that someoney 629 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 1: you knew of when you were a child died or 630 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: a sick like a neighbor, an old babysitter. For me, 631 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 1: no real emotion or feelings because I feel like I 632 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,200 Speaker 1: didn't have a real connection with them. My wife knew 633 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 1: I was irritated and tried to silently haul me down. 634 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 1: When they were done, I said something to the effect 635 00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,880 Speaker 1: I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you get better. 636 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: Then I got up and walked out. There's more. There's more. 637 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 1: What do you think of op two stone cold? Put 638 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,719 Speaker 1: put two stone cold? Or he got what he deserved? 639 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:56,440 Speaker 1: In the comments? Put one of those two stone cold? 640 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:58,200 Speaker 1: Or got what he deserved? What do you think two 641 00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:58,880 Speaker 1: stone cold? 642 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 3: For me like cold for you, I don't know if 643 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:07,440 Speaker 3: I would be able to. 644 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: To do that. 645 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:10,200 Speaker 3: But now, mind you, just a few minutes ago, I 646 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 3: was like you, I think there would have to be 647 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,400 Speaker 3: all these stipulations to even let and if the dad 648 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,520 Speaker 3: didn't go with them, then don't bring him back in 649 00:32:16,560 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 3: the life. 650 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:18,720 Speaker 2: But I don't think I would go that hard. 651 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:20,840 Speaker 1: But I don't think I would go that hard either. 652 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: But we also haven't like experienced the whatever, like the 653 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:29,680 Speaker 1: ten years of like systemic familial issues of OP trying 654 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 1: probably and just I mean there's obviously there's a lot 655 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,000 Speaker 1: of pain that is built up over these years, and 656 00:32:37,280 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: possibly too much pain to even try to bridge a 657 00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,240 Speaker 1: relationship even at this point, even on his deathbed. 658 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 2: Not to super psychoanalyze. 659 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,280 Speaker 3: And everyone take this with a grain of salt, but 660 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 3: you know how they say, like, oh, when something traumatic happens, 661 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 3: you stay with that problem. 662 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,479 Speaker 2: At the age that had happened. 663 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, like what if he's there's still like kind of 664 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,600 Speaker 3: fourteen year old angst, probably you. 665 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 1: Know, probably is, Yeah, I mean I can I can 666 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 1: see there being Linda Callin says, my sub conscious would 667 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: have not coped. Dennis Brendberg Bros. Says deserved. Mindy Wilder 668 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 1: says fifty fifty. I want to know why you're fifty 669 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: to fifty on it. Scarlett Wood says he'll probably regret 670 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,880 Speaker 1: it no matter what he does. I mean, yeah, would 671 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 1: ope regret it if his father did actually pass away? Maybe? Yeah, 672 00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:21,000 Speaker 1: I think I think generally, I mean, like, I think 673 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: it's generally a pretty well known thing that holding a 674 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:29,840 Speaker 1: grudge is usually regrettable, even if it's against people that 675 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 1: wrong you. 676 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,880 Speaker 2: It's like you forgive for yourself, not even for. 677 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: The yeah, yeah, not not for yeah, not for him, 678 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 1: but holding that holding that is is hurtful to you. Yes, 679 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 1: But you know, also so is this person, right, Like 680 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 1: the sad is actively hurtful for you. So maybe the 681 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: maybe holding on to the memory of it is less 682 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: painful than dealing it with it in the present. 683 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,360 Speaker 3: I wonder how they are responding now, if they're still 684 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 3: like call me mom, call. 685 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,600 Speaker 1: Me yeah, yeah, Are they still and if they're still 686 00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,160 Speaker 1: doing that, I I don't think there's any hope of relation. No, hope. 687 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 1: I don't know what do you guys think? Do you think? Ope? 688 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,720 Speaker 1: He should try to make any kinds of meds Ashley 689 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: Purkis says, forgive but never forget. I think that, but 690 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:14,640 Speaker 1: what does that look like? What does that look like? 691 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: What does that really What does forgiving and never forgetting 692 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:21,360 Speaker 1: look like in the context of a relationship with this father? 693 00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,440 Speaker 1: But I would love to know your answers. Put your 694 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 1: answers in the comments. But we're going to keep going. 695 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:31,399 Speaker 1: His wife opened her mouth and said something like, that's it, 696 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: that's all you have to say. Do you owe it 697 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,840 Speaker 1: to him? I didn't let her finish and went off 698 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: on them. I said everything that I had been saying 699 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:45,480 Speaker 1: in my head for years, a practice monologue I started 700 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: when I was a teen. Highlights include, but are not 701 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,839 Speaker 1: limited to, how he owed me more than anything, how 702 00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:54,920 Speaker 1: he ruined any type of relationship, the moment he started 703 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: thinking with his dick, when he tried to erase my 704 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 1: real and only mom, neglect, abuse over punishment, the works. 705 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: Then I finished with my real mother died when I 706 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,960 Speaker 1: was fourteen. Pretend I did as well, because that is 707 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: when he my dad became dead to me. 708 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:21,600 Speaker 3: Oh wow, hope he was ready. 709 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:29,640 Speaker 1: That was the monologue. That was the rehearsed speech. I'm like, 710 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: I'm getting like shifty, same, what a gooseber goosebumps. What 711 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 1: a monologue. Wow. Now, looking back, I find it in 712 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:45,640 Speaker 1: a way funny that my five foot four wife was 713 00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: holding back a six foot two hundred plus guy. But 714 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:54,319 Speaker 1: they kind of looked like fish opening and closing their mouth. 715 00:35:57,719 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: My wife then escorted me away. When we got in 716 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 1: the car, I had my second panic attack. But since 717 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,840 Speaker 1: things have been quiet but still fresh. I'm struggling but 718 00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 1: working through it well. My wife notices me zoning, she 719 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: hands me our child, and things get better. Oh love that. 720 00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,839 Speaker 1: Sorry for the long read. If you are still here, 721 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,560 Speaker 1: I hope you have a wonderful day and may your 722 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:25,320 Speaker 1: life be blessed. Wow? What wow? Wow? How do we 723 00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: feel about how it ended? How do we feel about 724 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:32,040 Speaker 1: like Opie saying everything that he wanted to say all 725 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,879 Speaker 1: these years? How do you feel about that? 726 00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 2: I mean, it's it is. I think it is ultimately good. 727 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 3: Like I don't know if they ever truly faced like 728 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 3: got the repercussion, got the the justice for the crime committed. 729 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:47,560 Speaker 1: Maybe they Maybe they did. 730 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 2: In terms of OPI like cutting them out, but I do. 731 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,200 Speaker 3: Think it is good for them to hear it in 732 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 3: its purest, most raw and unfiltered way. Which wait, maybe 733 00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,920 Speaker 3: OPI probably already said this in the letter too. We 734 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:03,800 Speaker 3: don't know exactly what was said there, but I again, 735 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,239 Speaker 3: I don't know if I would have. 736 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have done that. Yeah, I just can't like. 737 00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,160 Speaker 1: But it's also hard for me to even imagine, because, 738 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,359 Speaker 1: like I like, I love my parents, love my dad, 739 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: So it's hard for me to imagine someone caught like 740 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,360 Speaker 1: my parent causing that much hurt to where I'm ready 741 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,760 Speaker 1: to do this. But obviously Okie has felt that. I'm 742 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 1: glad they heard it for oh, the best thing for 743 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 1: OP to do. 744 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:32,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a tough time to share that, but yeah, like, 745 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 3: I'm glad they heard it, but maybe not at that time, 746 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:35,080 Speaker 3: I guess. 747 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 2: Uh. 748 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,120 Speaker 1: And Angelica Gatlan says he needed to say it cathartic. 749 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 1: Britney Welty says Op he needed that he held onto 750 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: those feelings for so long. Mel Adjusted forty six says, well, 751 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 1: I don't think the dad and stepmom are going to 752 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,480 Speaker 1: reach out again. I don't know, they haven't gotten a hit. Yeah, 753 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 1: it's been very persistent. 754 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:56,560 Speaker 2: They're gonna start breaking in now. 755 00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I like, I don't know, show me 756 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,520 Speaker 1: the baby, Yeah, dude, I mean it's that they it's 757 00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 1: I don't hopefully they take the hint. Now, Okay, story time, 758 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,120 Speaker 1: So about like moving into so we were like in 759 00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:15,239 Speaker 1: the in the this last story. Basically what happened is 760 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,600 Speaker 1: the parents moved into Ope's neighborhood and they would like 761 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 1: run into each other like at random times. So my 762 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:27,719 Speaker 1: ex girlfriend moved seven blocks away from me, and I 763 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:32,760 Speaker 1: run into her all the time, like like multiple times 764 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 1: a month, sometimes multiple times a week, and it definitely 765 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 1: is definitely doesn't help the healing of a breakup. Yeah, 766 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:45,120 Speaker 1: I don't think I can understand Opie, uh not wanting 767 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,400 Speaker 1: the parents to be in the same city. Yeah, yeah, 768 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,440 Speaker 1: because it's just like when you live in a small area, 769 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 1: like you run into each other that is the grocery store, 770 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,439 Speaker 1: and I like, I have a run that I run 771 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 1: every day. Yeah, and like she that she also runs 772 00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:04,440 Speaker 1: that run sometimes. 773 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 3: So much in common, including the what's your what's your 774 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:11,359 Speaker 3: philosophy on like how to engage for like or if 775 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,719 Speaker 3: someone's in a similar situation. 776 00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 1: I just say so, like I mean, I think, like 777 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:20,240 Speaker 1: I just tried, I'm like friendly but but but I'm friendly, 778 00:39:20,320 --> 00:39:23,399 Speaker 1: but I'm like not short, but I'm friendly, but I'm 779 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 1: like moving quickly, so I'll just say like, hey, how's 780 00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:27,759 Speaker 1: it going. Nice to see you, and then I'm like 781 00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:31,040 Speaker 1: blip on over. So it's not like a it's not 782 00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: like a stop stop and like really dive in. But 783 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,360 Speaker 1: you know what y'all can do if you haven't already, 784 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,840 Speaker 1: make sure to subscribe. Make sure to support us on 785 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,960 Speaker 1: memberships if you want to see this live that's right 786 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,640 Speaker 1: forever and ever. And also just tell us what you want. 787 00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:49,840 Speaker 1: We know, we we love. We listen to the comments. 788 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,920 Speaker 1: We read like a lot of them, so we really 789 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 1: appreciate everyone coming into live day. Just remember, if you 790 00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,319 Speaker 1: love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you. I'd 791 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:05,040 Speaker 1: see it worrow. This is an episode from Deep Within 792 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 1: the Archives. 793 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 2: Time for Okop rewam. 794 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: Today up by thinking of my family actually loved me, 795 00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:14,600 Speaker 1: but they had something else in mind. 796 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 3: Sometimes you got to give a good old fashioned I 797 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,440 Speaker 3: don't love you. Yeah, yeah, you're not family to me. 798 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,920 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's what I say, like every time to 799 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:23,440 Speaker 3: my sister. 800 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna when I put my kids to bed at night. 801 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:26,760 Speaker 2: That's that's what I'm gonna say. 802 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:30,920 Speaker 1: It's like, hey, just remember you're nothing you're not going. 803 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,200 Speaker 2: This is how we build character Andrew Tape. 804 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: Yesterday I turned eighteen years old, and for the past 805 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,400 Speaker 1: six years, like clockwork, every day on my birthday, we 806 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 1: go to the same place for dinner, and I'd always 807 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,240 Speaker 1: get the same thing. For those of you that confused, 808 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 1: I have extreme OCD and high functioning autism, which means 809 00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:49,480 Speaker 1: I very which means I'm very well regulated, and like 810 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:52,640 Speaker 1: things to stay the same as they've always been. Every 811 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:55,360 Speaker 1: year on my birthday, would go to Apple Peace, amazing 812 00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:59,320 Speaker 1: birthday place I've never been. Actually, really, we'll take you sometimes. 813 00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,080 Speaker 1: The first thing I would get is the steak in 814 00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,759 Speaker 1: trimp parmesan with a side of loaded mashed potatoes that 815 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,200 Speaker 1: actually sounds good does and cheesy steam broccoli. Hate me 816 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,359 Speaker 1: or not, Hate me or not, but I also get 817 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 1: a sad amounts of rellisticks. In total, it's thirty bucks, 818 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:16,319 Speaker 1: a bit expensive. I know. I couldn't really tell something 819 00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,799 Speaker 1: was off until a bit later, because when me and 820 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:21,080 Speaker 1: my mother, my stepfather, and my older brother sat down, 821 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 1: they didn't really say anything. I was confused, and so 822 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,319 Speaker 1: I started tapping my fingers and the conversation went a 823 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:32,400 Speaker 1: little like this, Mother, Well, I was rather confused. Well, mother, 824 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,520 Speaker 1: aren't you going to call the waiter over? This gave 825 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: me extreme anxiety. I have extreme issues with speaking with people, 826 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: and I tend to stutter and get very scared, if 827 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,600 Speaker 1: that's the right word. I asked her if she could 828 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: do it, and she does it in a huff. My 829 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: dad and brother staring are My dad and brother stare 830 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,440 Speaker 1: nonchalantly as she calls a waiter over. The alarm bells 831 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,360 Speaker 1: are ringing in my head. This is never how we 832 00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:03,640 Speaker 1: did before. I can't. As a waiter gets to the table, 833 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 1: he asks everyone what they want, and everyone orders, and 834 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,080 Speaker 1: he gets to me. My mother stops him and tells 835 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:14,520 Speaker 1: him separate bill. Damn. This is when my heart began 836 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,279 Speaker 1: beating very fast. I don't have a job. All the 837 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,920 Speaker 1: money I get is from all the money I get, 838 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,160 Speaker 1: it's from our neighbors raking leaves. You're gonna make him 839 00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:30,600 Speaker 1: use his leaf money? Why leaving him high and dry 840 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:35,440 Speaker 1: much like those leaves? Baby goodness, I just kind of freeze. 841 00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:39,920 Speaker 1: I don't know what to say the leaf money. I 842 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 1: don't really say anything, and I get a really bad 843 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 1: stomach ache from the anxiety. This is where I'm conflicted 844 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,560 Speaker 1: on whether I'm the asshole or not. My mother would 845 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,800 Speaker 1: explain at the table that now that I'm eighteen, I 846 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,359 Speaker 1: should be able to pay for my own things, but 847 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:58,000 Speaker 1: they all I have is leaf money. I was already 848 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,319 Speaker 1: feeling nauseous for the situation, so I just said, I 849 00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,840 Speaker 1: love Anybney. My mom kind of puffs and shoes the 850 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:12,040 Speaker 1: waiter away, poor waiter, he's bro It's awkward. This sour 851 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:15,239 Speaker 1: at the dinner party. However, my mom also paid for 852 00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: my twenty three year old brother. 853 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:18,240 Speaker 2: Where's the logic? 854 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,960 Speaker 1: My family was calling me entitled and a little a 855 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,040 Speaker 1: hole the whole ride home. When I got home, I 856 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,920 Speaker 1: just ran to my room and cried. They'd been ignoring 857 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,160 Speaker 1: me all day. I may be bad at social cues, 858 00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:35,880 Speaker 1: but my family has never acted this way before. Applebee's 859 00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 1: was my sanctuary. I mean never. They've been treating me 860 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,600 Speaker 1: horrible the whole day. I feel very angry and upset 861 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 1: at my family. If I would have been warned, I 862 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:51,160 Speaker 1: would have saved my breaking money, the leaf money, the 863 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:54,279 Speaker 1: leaf money. I also don't mean this to be a 864 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:57,359 Speaker 1: validation post. I have all the information you have. I'm 865 00:43:57,400 --> 00:44:01,399 Speaker 1: just very confused, and I'm terrible with social cues, Aspergers, 866 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,799 Speaker 1: Am I right, my family gets a little tighten of money. 867 00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,040 Speaker 1: I guess I should have really asked them before I 868 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:08,880 Speaker 1: assumed they were gonna pay for me. No, but I 869 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,359 Speaker 1: missed out on my birthday dinner because I wasn't mature 870 00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,440 Speaker 1: enough to bring my own money. Wait. Wait, so did 871 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:15,839 Speaker 1: he just not eat the whole time? I think so, 872 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:20,799 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm just gonna rake leaves for a 873 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:27,439 Speaker 1: couple more weeks to order it from takeout. Oh, this 874 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:32,320 Speaker 1: is so sad. Bro Bro doesn't get any food on 875 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 1: his birthday and now he's saving up his leaf money 876 00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:40,399 Speaker 1: to get takeout, And. 877 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,840 Speaker 3: Like that's already, Like it's so sad already. But like 878 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,000 Speaker 3: the fact that he's like, oh, here's why, am I 879 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:45,600 Speaker 3: being a whole? 880 00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:46,040 Speaker 2: You are? 881 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:49,160 Speaker 3: Literally this is like the hardest not the a whole 882 00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,680 Speaker 3: of all time, Like you were the furthest thing from 883 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,200 Speaker 3: a hole in existence that is living and breathing. 884 00:44:55,680 --> 00:45:00,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, And the edit is I underst saying that my 885 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,680 Speaker 1: parents could be terrible. But I might be missing some 886 00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:06,000 Speaker 1: social cues. I don't know if there's anything I did wrong. 887 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,560 Speaker 1: I've cried about I've cried about it and tried to 888 00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,480 Speaker 1: speak with them, but they don't want to talk to me. 889 00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:14,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what I did. Also, thank you for 890 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,359 Speaker 1: everyone for the birthday wishes. I wish my parents did 891 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:23,120 Speaker 1: that to me. Jeez, sad Man Hey, Happy birthday, Op Yes, 892 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,000 Speaker 1: happy birthday. 893 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,640 Speaker 2: Good gosh,