Speaker 1: You know your house smells, don't get mad. Don't get mad.
Speaker 1: My house smells too. I'm not I'm not indicting you.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you keep a clean home, but just time
Speaker 1: means you're going to acquire smells. Whether those are cooking
Speaker 1: smells that get in your paint, your carpet, maybe their
Speaker 1: animals smells. Maybe you're a smoker, or someone else was
Speaker 1: just living create smells. I didn't realize that my home
Speaker 1: had a smell to it until I got my first
Speaker 1: Eden Pure Thunderstorm, the greatest air purifier I've ever owned
Speaker 1: in my life. This thing. I had it plugged in
Speaker 1: for two hours. I came back in the room and
Speaker 1: my air smells so clean. I now owned three of them.
Speaker 1: I'm not making that up. This thing has absolutely changed
Speaker 1: me on top of what it's done from my allergies.
Speaker 1: Go get one, get two, you like me, and get three.
Speaker 1: Go to Eden Pure deals dot com. Make sure you
Speaker 1: use the promo code Jesse that gets you ten bucks
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Speaker 1: code Jesse. This is a Jesse Kelly show. Imagine paying
Speaker 1: somebody not to kill you. It is an ask doctor
Speaker 1: Jesse Friday I'm Jesse Kelly, the Oracle, the Showgun, Sombrero Jesse,
Speaker 1: what Chris, Jesse Steele Kelly. You can call in now
Speaker 1: and get in line eight seven seven three seven seven
Speaker 1: four three seven three. We will try to keep the
Speaker 1: history segment pretty short today because you filled up the
Speaker 1: inbox with some outstanding, outstanding questions Jesse at Jesse Kellys
Speaker 1: show dot com. Chris will be checking the email inboxes
Speaker 1: about the show. We have Cam Edwards coming up next hour.
Speaker 1: I don't even know that we're gonna talk about current news.
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about Stonewall Jackson in the Civil Wars,
Speaker 1: this huge Civil War buff guy we have. I have
Speaker 1: to answer things today about dying or being a vegetarian, Bigfoot,
Speaker 1: Florida's governor Ron DeSantis, and comb overs. I have this list.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Is it us? Did Jewish producer? Chris?
Speaker 1: That's us, isn't it? We have voicemails, Chris, let me
Speaker 1: ask you something. Can we play any of the voicemails
Speaker 1: on the air. I get into the office today and
Speaker 1: we're sorting through some of the asked Doctor Jesse questions
Speaker 1: to try to get these things sorted out and Chris
Speaker 1: is telling me, we have a bunch of questions. We
Speaker 1: have this to that, and he said, we have two
Speaker 1: voicemails about cocaine. I don't know that. There are too
Speaker 1: many shows in the country that walk in and have that. Nevertheless,
Speaker 1: here we are. But first and foremost, let us go
Speaker 1: back to the thirteen hundreds, the fourteenth century. Here's what's
Speaker 1: happening in Europe. Remember this, always remember this. It's easy,
Speaker 1: really really easy to look back in history or do
Speaker 1: it currently, to point a finger at the superpower, at
Speaker 1: the one in charge, and point out all the things
Speaker 1: they do wrong. It's easy to easy. Ah, they got
Speaker 1: involved in this, they did that. This is how they're
Speaker 1: screwing everything up. Look, this is where they're oppressing these people. Oh,
Speaker 1: I can't believe they passed this policy. Look how disastrous
Speaker 1: it was. It's really really easy throughout history. We do
Speaker 1: it on this show. Look back on the Persian Empire.
Speaker 1: I can't believe the decadence they did it to themselves,
Speaker 1: the Mongolian Empire. Why couldn't they just stop drinking? They
Speaker 1: had all these all these great cons and they were
Speaker 1: all drinking themselves to death. How stupid are they barbaric
Speaker 1: murdering people over and over and over again. We look
Speaker 1: back at the big empires and point out where they
Speaker 1: screwed everything up. Now, granted, in America today we have
Speaker 1: half our own country pointing at us, telling us how
Speaker 1: horrible we are. That's gonna be our death. But that's
Speaker 1: another story. Maybe we'll go over that later in the show.
Speaker 1: But Rome is the biggest example of this because in
Speaker 1: this horrible revisionist history, white guilt society we live in
Speaker 1: now in the West, not just America, in the West,
Speaker 1: every major power has to be dumped on all the time.
Speaker 1: And there's never been a power like Rome, greatest empire
Speaker 1: of all time. And we love everybody now especially loves
Speaker 1: to point out the slavery and the oppression and the
Speaker 1: murder of these people in the sacking of this city.
Speaker 1: And they did this wrong and that wrong. And look,
Speaker 1: a lot of that stuff's fair, you know, I I
Speaker 1: give a history right between the eyes. However, remember something,
Speaker 1: and remember it well. A lot of these territories where
Speaker 1: Rome committed honestly, well you could probably call it genocide.
Speaker 1: A lot of these places were really, really, really ugly
Speaker 1: places before Rome got there. And then they became really civilized,
Speaker 1: modern places while Rome was there, and as soon as
Speaker 1: Rome was gone, they went back to sucking. It's happened
Speaker 1: a lot throughout history. I'm just pointing out Rome because
Speaker 1: they're going to apply for today. It's happened a lot.
Speaker 1: I can't believe. I can't believe France is France is
Speaker 1: a call. They're colonizing this country. These people don't deserve it.
Speaker 1: They deserve freedom. I mean, you know that Life of
Speaker 1: Brian Bitt We've been playing all week. We're gonna play
Speaker 1: it again. Yeah, they yeah, we have modern medicine now
Speaker 1: in roads, but France, and then the second France gets
Speaker 1: kicked out, the country goes back to being a dump.
Speaker 1: Europe went through a long, long, hard period of time
Speaker 1: once Rome went down, and still in the thirteen hundreds,
Speaker 1: they're still feeling it now at this point. It's not
Speaker 1: as if they're backwards barbarians at this point in the
Speaker 1: thirteen hundreds, but the country are so divided up they
Speaker 1: just could never unify on anything and settle down, and
Speaker 1: so it was constantly war. It was a constant state
Speaker 1: of affairs. You had England, England fighting with France. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're actually gonna be the hundred years war is going
Speaker 1: on during our story today, and it actually been on
Speaker 1: more than one hundred years. You had the pope vying
Speaker 1: for power. You had Italy where most of our story
Speaker 1: will take place today. Italy. Remember this. People act like
Speaker 1: Italy's ancient because of Rome, but Italy as a unified
Speaker 1: country is not that old. At this point in the
Speaker 1: thirteen hundreds, Italy was like ancient Greece. It was just
Speaker 1: a bunch of city states. Now extremely extremely wealthy, sophisticated
Speaker 1: city states, and I mean very wealthy, and not always
Speaker 1: just the city. You would have a Genoa, that's just
Speaker 1: that's just one random one. You could have Genoa as
Speaker 1: a city state, very wealthy, very powerful, and they could
Speaker 1: own colonies across the ocean. But they didn't all consider
Speaker 1: themselves to be Italian. No. They were constantly murdering each other,
Speaker 1: which is gonna bring us to our story today. Constantly.
Speaker 1: I heard one guy describe it who wasn't shoot. I
Speaker 1: want to give him credit, but I forget who it was.
Speaker 1: I heard one guy describe Italy. He said, you know
Speaker 1: where they got the mafia from. They got it from
Speaker 1: how they were doing business back in the thirteen hundreds.
Speaker 1: It was run like a mafia, only a big one.
Speaker 1: You had this family who controls this city state and
Speaker 1: that family who controls that city state. And this guy
Speaker 1: tries to assassinate that guy tries to marry this daughter,
Speaker 1: or they form an alliance, and it was a constant
Speaker 1: state of blood and trade. And then you throw in
Speaker 1: the religious aspect of it, and that wasn't small. It
Speaker 1: was not small. Remember how corrupt that has been through
Speaker 1: certain periods of time with the papacy, the pope so
Speaker 1: often back then. I mean, I'm not Catholics, so I
Speaker 1: can't be judging this pope. Now. I'm not a big fan,
Speaker 1: but back then, oftentimes these popes were just they was
Speaker 1: just a king who wore white, oftentimes a corrupt, corrupt,
Speaker 1: corrupt king, a king who had the power to tell
Speaker 1: anybody in the world they weren't going to heaven anymore.
Speaker 1: Kind of a big deal. So it's an ugly state
Speaker 1: of affairs. But let's go to England first. Have you
Speaker 1: ever wondered about being a mercenary? Now you know what
Speaker 1: a mercenary is. It's somebody who gets gets paid for combat.
Speaker 1: I've wondered about it a lot, and I wondered about
Speaker 1: it because I considered doing it at one point in time,
Speaker 1: and I just couldn't ever completely wrap my mind around it.
Speaker 1: Just quick little thing here. When we were in the
Speaker 1: Marine Corps, we were Marine Corps infantry guys that we
Speaker 1: were trained pretty well, and we got with someone made
Speaker 1: sure we got word that for thirty thousand dollars a
Speaker 1: month you could go hunt poachers in Africa. Now, I
Speaker 1: don't exactly like poachers. I didn't think I hated them
Speaker 1: enough to go murder them, and my mom would kill me. However,
Speaker 1: it brought some questions up, and it's going to apply
Speaker 1: to our story today being a mercenary. Also today, comb
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Speaker 1: holistic healing approaches. Here's the thing, They're not the new thing.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we talk about natural medicines holistic healing, and we
Speaker 1: act like, why is this new thing. That's the established thing,
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Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly backs in, Lord of Governor Ron de Santis,
Speaker 1: What do I think about him? I will tell you
Speaker 1: my answer. Maybe not quite what you were expecting. Big
Speaker 1: Foot it isn't ask doctor Jesse Friday eight seven seven
Speaker 1: three seven seven four three seven three. We have voicemails
Speaker 1: about cocaine. You can email the show during the show
Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show dot com. Don't worry if
Speaker 1: you get it in too late. It's a good question.
Speaker 1: We'll save it and might get to it next week.
Speaker 1: We don't toss him. We do not toss him ever,
Speaker 1: all right. England thirteen hundreds. The most famous mercenary probably
Speaker 1: ever to exist is born thirteen twenty three, and his
Speaker 1: name is John Hawkwood. He's born relatively middle class family.
Speaker 1: Some of his childhood details are fuzzy, so I'm not
Speaker 1: going to give you any of them in case it's
Speaker 1: a bunch of crap. Some people said he was a tanner,
Speaker 1: some people said he was wealthy. Whatever the story is.
Speaker 1: King Edward the third of England at the time, he
Speaker 1: I know you're going to find. The shocking was fighting
Speaker 1: with France. England and France are always head each other's
Speaker 1: throats and they're in the middle of the Hundred Years War.
Speaker 1: When you're in a long war like that, it does many, many, many,
Speaker 1: many many things to your country, and not many of
Speaker 1: them good. Protracted war is really never good, and it
Speaker 1: was doing something to England at the time as well.
Speaker 1: It was running through their young men. They were all
Speaker 1: getting run through combat and that can sound healthy, but man,
Speaker 1: it's really unhealthy. They die, they're maimed. You adjust the
Speaker 1: mentality of a nation. Remember they say France lost World
Speaker 1: War two in World War One because such a huge
Speaker 1: percentage of the French male population had been through that
Speaker 1: living hell in World War One. By the time you
Speaker 1: got to World War Two, they're just you're so warped,
Speaker 1: you're you're so different than you were before that it
Speaker 1: changes your whole country. England was going through this as well,
Speaker 1: and they were going through something else. You have all
Speaker 1: these men. John Hawkwood joins the army becomes a long bowman,
Speaker 1: which is a big deal at the time. Well, then
Speaker 1: the war eventually stopped. So now you have men without
Speaker 1: great opportunity in front of them, highly trained in combat,
Speaker 1: stuck with only really one special life skill, and nowhere
Speaker 1: to officially ply their trade. And this is the point
Speaker 1: in time. Remember we have the Black plague everything else.
Speaker 1: And what happened was an odd phenomenon. We had all
Speaker 1: these mercenary companies, they called them free companies, pop up
Speaker 1: all over Europe because just because the official war was
Speaker 1: over didn't mean there weren't a thousand other conflicts between
Speaker 1: this lord and that lord, and this city state and
Speaker 1: that city state, and everybody wanted experienced fighting men. So
Speaker 1: you're somebody like John Hawkwood, who apparently acquitted himself very
Speaker 1: well in that war. You finish, you have, as the
Speaker 1: great movie was it taken says, a very particular set
Speaker 1: of skills and not many other skills. It's a tough question, right, Look,
Speaker 1: I would I told you I went through this when
Speaker 1: I was getting out of the Marine Corps. I seriously
Speaker 1: considered it. Thirty thousand dollars a month to go hunt
Speaker 1: down poachers. That's huge money. That's huge money. These guys
Speaker 1: were going through the same thing. Let's see, I can
Speaker 1: go home, go back to the family farm, maybe work,
Speaker 1: maybe work as a blacksmith's apprentice, or or hear me
Speaker 1: out here, this city state really doesn't like that city state,
Speaker 1: and they're offering us a small fortune. If we're willing
Speaker 1: to just go kill some people for him, should we
Speaker 1: do that? It became a big deal. He started working
Speaker 1: for the largest of these mercenary companies, called the Great Company.
Speaker 1: But here was the problem with mercenaries then and now.
Speaker 1: Remember and remember now, all mercenaries are not the same.
Speaker 1: We have b K, former Air Force PJ coming on
Speaker 1: this show every single week, every Tuesday. He comes on
Speaker 1: this show. B K was a mercenary for a decade.
Speaker 1: He's openly talks about it. They call him pmc's Private
Speaker 1: Military Contractors. But that's just a nicer way to say mercenary.
Speaker 1: Then and now, though mercenaries can run the gamut, b
Speaker 1: K was obviously one of the ones who worked with
Speaker 1: the federal government for a cause that was always pro American.
Speaker 1: But there are plenty of mercenary groups out there, and
Speaker 1: hear me out, plenty of mercenary groups out there who
Speaker 1: are more than happy to go in and liquidate a
Speaker 1: village for you if you'd like, oh, some natural resources
Speaker 1: in there. Do I have any problem killing all the villagers? No? No,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Neither do my men here pay me.
Speaker 1: Mercenaries are a funny breed, and they've been around since
Speaker 1: time began. But you run into this particular situation if
Speaker 1: you have too many of them. Sometimes if you're a mercenary,
Speaker 1: sometimes there's nobody for you to fight. What if you're
Speaker 1: in between jobs, what if you're long in between jobs?
Speaker 1: And do these sound like the type of men who
Speaker 1: have a four oh one K? I gotta make sure. Look,
Speaker 1: I have to put so many of these. I need
Speaker 1: stock options here. I have to make sure I have
Speaker 1: a monthly stipend, just i'd have to save for a
Speaker 1: rainy day. Do those sound like the kind of men
Speaker 1: we're dealing with. Believe me, it's not. And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying they're idiots, but men like that, especially young military
Speaker 1: aged males. I was that one. They don't save money.
Speaker 1: You live for them now because you're always on the
Speaker 1: end of death in your mind. These guys blow through
Speaker 1: their money as as as they make it. And now
Speaker 1: you're a mercenary company. You're very tough, you're very powerful.
Speaker 1: You you and all your friends, you're together, and you
Speaker 1: know you're really good, and there's nobody to pay you.
Speaker 1: And let's say, let's say you don't have necessarily the
Speaker 1: best moral compass in the world. Well, good old fashioned
Speaker 1: extortion has paid a lot of bills. What they would
Speaker 1: do is they would start, they would pick a powerful
Speaker 1: city state or a powerful lord, powerful anything, and they
Speaker 1: would simply start pillaging his land. Yes, they wanted the
Speaker 1: goods and services, they wanted the food and gold they
Speaker 1: were taking, but more than anything else, they wanted the
Speaker 1: city state to go. Please stop. What will it take
Speaker 1: to make you stop? Oh, just a very large payment
Speaker 1: right now and then we'll go away. And this is
Speaker 1: something that Hawkwood would do with his mercenaries throughout his lifetime, consistently, consistently,
Speaker 1: and it is large stay, large scale extortionism. It's no
Speaker 1: different than that Italian mafia. Seen you've seen in the
Speaker 1: movies A Thousand Times where two big goons walk in
Speaker 1: the mom and pop shop and grab the guy by
Speaker 1: the collar and say, I'll be back for buy fifty
Speaker 1: bucks again tomorrow and every day after that. Have my
Speaker 1: money ready, same thing, only Hawkwood and his guys simply
Speaker 1: made it official. We still have the records of it.
Speaker 1: He would say, Oh, I'll back off sure for a
Speaker 1: period of three years, for this amount of time. After
Speaker 1: three years, I can come back and do whatever I want,
Speaker 1: but you sign the contract. I'll stop murdering you for
Speaker 1: three years. Sound good. And they were so wealthy, the
Speaker 1: city states were, and they wanted these guys gone so
Speaker 1: much they routinely paid it. These guys start pillaging the countryside.
Speaker 1: The pope steps up and excommunicates Hawkwood and his entire company,
Speaker 1: the entire great, great company. They've killed, murdered, raped so
Speaker 1: many times, get out And then what do you know,
Speaker 1: as it happened so often, the very same pope who
Speaker 1: had just excommunicated their great company, found himself in yet
Speaker 1: another rivalry situation with a powerful wealthy family in city
Speaker 1: state in Italy. So he goes to the company he
Speaker 1: just excommunicated and says you guys looking for a job.
Speaker 1: Hang on, I'm gonna try to wrap this up before
Speaker 1: we get to talking about Bigfoot. Hang on, wake up
Speaker 1: and text, Text and eat, Text and catch the bus,
Speaker 1: techin miss your stop. Text and be late to work
Speaker 1: sorrently text and work, Text and pretend to work, Text
Speaker 1: and X surprised when someone calls you out for not working.
Speaker 1: Maybe text and meet up with a friend you haven't
Speaker 1: seen in forever. Oh God, Text and complain that they're
Speaker 1: on their phone the whole time. Text and listen to them.
Speaker 1: Complain that you're on your phone the whole time. Text
Speaker 1: and whatever. But when you get behind the wheel, give
Speaker 1: your phone to a passenger, put it in the glove box.
Speaker 1: Just don't text and drive. Visit stop texts, Stop rex
Speaker 1: dot org a public service announcement brought to you by
Speaker 1: the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the AD Council
Speaker 1: and Jesse just heard your cocaine questions. I found it curious.
Speaker 1: There is six hundred and forty nine kilos, not six fifty.
Speaker 1: But you know, under the right circumstances, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'd tell one or two just to you know, make
Speaker 1: some money. I mean people don't understand how many guys
Speaker 1: are out there doing it anyway. You know, low risk,
Speaker 1: risk were words. I love you guys so much. The
Speaker 1: question yesterday, it wasn't a question. It was just a
Speaker 1: random story. Somebody found an abandoned boat with six hundred
Speaker 1: forty nine kilos of cocaine on it and called the cops,
Speaker 1: and it was a morality question of what you would do.
Speaker 1: It's Jesse Kelly. You can find me on social media
Speaker 1: at jesse Kelly DC on Twitter, at Jesse Kelly DC
Speaker 1: on Instagram. It's I'm on Facebook. I'm on parlor for sure,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure I'm gonna get run out of all
Speaker 1: the others here pretty soon. We have to talk about
Speaker 1: Florida Governor Ron De Santis today and why I want
Speaker 1: to give you a little bit of caution there, just
Speaker 1: a little caution. I'm not gonna be bagging on heavy
Speaker 1: d I like him a lot. Well, this a little
Speaker 1: caution vegetarianism, all right, But we're gonna try to wrap
Speaker 1: this up. The Pope first excommunicates the great company, this
Speaker 1: company of mercenaries in the thirteen hundreds with John Hawkwood
Speaker 1: in there, and then he hires them hires them to
Speaker 1: go take on one of these city states in Italy.
Speaker 1: They marched down to Italy. They start wearing this highly,
Speaker 1: highly shiny, very pale armor, and they change their name
Speaker 1: to become the White Company, which will probably get you
Speaker 1: in quite a bit of trouble if you try that today.
Speaker 1: They become famous because John Hawkwood, for all of his
Speaker 1: lack of morals, if you want to say, John Hawkwood
Speaker 1: is a bad man when it comes to combat, some
Speaker 1: people are just simply naturally gifted at combat. These mercenary companies,
Speaker 1: the leaders were always voted on by the men. Hawkwood
Speaker 1: shoots up through the ranks and they're like, this is
Speaker 1: our guy. They had ambush tactics at a time where
Speaker 1: people weren't ambushing that much. They would attack at night.
Speaker 1: Nobody used to attack at night. Let's let's clear something
Speaker 1: up right here. Night attacks look very, very very cool
Speaker 1: in the movies, and I will tell you full disclosure,
Speaker 1: they look really cool in real life too. Looks like
Speaker 1: Star Wars out there, tracers going back and forth. However,
Speaker 1: especially historically, before there were flares, you could shoot up
Speaker 1: in the air so you can see and so on
Speaker 1: and so forth. Historically, night attacks were very very very rare.
Speaker 1: Communication was difficult, visibility was difficult, so much of the
Speaker 1: time these armies would communicate with each other by different
Speaker 1: flags and flag seaton, which you couldn't do it at night.
Speaker 1: It was just a night attack in ancient times was
Speaker 1: very rare, very rare. These guys managed to perfect it,
Speaker 1: and they start slaughtering people. They start winning all their battles,
Speaker 1: and they would pull some of the dirtiest stuff you
Speaker 1: can imagine. You see, here's the situation. These city states
Speaker 1: didn't really have armies of their own. They had to
Speaker 1: rely on mercenaries. So there were all kinds of mercenary
Speaker 1: groups out there. Well, if you're a mercenary company and
Speaker 1: this city says one hundred thousand dollars, one hundred thousand dollars,
Speaker 1: we want you to go attack this city state, and
Speaker 1: you say, okay, well pay me all my money now,
Speaker 1: So they pay you all one hundred thousand dollars, you
Speaker 1: go attack the other city state, and that city state says, well,
Speaker 1: we'll pay you hundred and fifty to turn around and
Speaker 1: go attack them, And these guys would routinely say, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll take that one hundred fifty two, and you don't
Speaker 1: exactly pay back the hundred. So then you have situations
Speaker 1: where Hawkwood would finally they started running into companies, would
Speaker 1: start city states would start telling the mercenary companies, well,
Speaker 1: we'll pay you one hundred thousand, but it's fifty thousand,
Speaker 1: now fifty thousand. When the job's done, we don't want
Speaker 1: you to switch inside. So Hawkwood would take to fifty
Speaker 1: grand and then just go sit out and say, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not moving till you give me my other fifty.
Speaker 1: And because you don't have their arms, and he's running
Speaker 1: the best show in town. He's got you by the gonads.
Speaker 1: You can't do anything about that. And he spends decades
Speaker 1: doing this. Florence and Pisa are at war. He signs
Speaker 1: with Pisa. They're laying siege to places. And Hawkwood was
Speaker 1: famous for doing things like if he had if he
Speaker 1: had a under siege, he would march up to the
Speaker 1: walls and play music at night so they couldn't go
Speaker 1: to sleep. It was just it was just an insane life.
Speaker 1: And again, in between jobs, because contracts would run out,
Speaker 1: in between jobs, they would go just start pillaging places
Speaker 1: and they would sign agreements they signed an agreement with
Speaker 1: a with a big with a major one like Florence,
Speaker 1: and say, okay, well one hundred thousand dollars, And Florence
Speaker 1: would say A hundred thousand dollars for what? And he
Speaker 1: would say, WHOA one hundred thousand dollars and I won't
Speaker 1: attack you for five years. He's not even working for
Speaker 1: anybody at the time. Just blatant extortion. And I don't
Speaker 1: know whether you can admire it be shocked by it.
Speaker 1: There are a thousand little tales I'm not going to
Speaker 1: go into today about Hawkwood, but he eventually amasses so
Speaker 1: much wealth. He's as wealthy as some of the city states.
Speaker 1: And he gets started, he starts to get more than
Speaker 1: just money he has by the time he's done, he
Speaker 1: has a lifetime pension from Naples. He receives money every
Speaker 1: month from Naples. He has estates that he's been given
Speaker 1: all over Italy. The Pope at one point in time
Speaker 1: hires him again, and Hawkwood pulls the old trick of
Speaker 1: refusing to fight until the pope ponies up all the
Speaker 1: money and then switches sides. Then after the pope it
Speaker 1: hired him and he switched sides, goes back to working
Speaker 1: for the pope and starts pillaging things again. Now people
Speaker 1: are blaming the pope. It actually started a war against
Speaker 1: the pope because Hawkwood was un the Pope's employee when
Speaker 1: he was out there pillaging anybody. I should clarify. The
Speaker 1: guy's life tale is very fascinating. It is very fascinating. However,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of ugliness in there, a lot of
Speaker 1: what you call blatant murder in there. They massacred an
Speaker 1: entire city one time. It didn't go well for the
Speaker 1: women in that city. They ran into this city, they
Speaker 1: pillaged it for all the goods. It went very poorly
Speaker 1: for the women in the city. And then Hawkwood sold
Speaker 1: the city to another lord over the city itself. Just
Speaker 1: simply said, hey, it's for sale for fifty grand, you
Speaker 1: can come have it. The guy bought the city. The
Speaker 1: guy ends up living to an old old age. I
Speaker 1: believe he was sixty nine or seventy years old before
Speaker 1: he died, which is ancient for this period in time.
Speaker 1: But died an absurdly wealthy man with children married off
Speaker 1: to royalty all over Italy. Who would they would marry?
Speaker 1: They would marry his daughters just to keep the guy
Speaker 1: away from him. John Hawkwood is his name. He is
Speaker 1: the most famous mercenary of all time. And that is
Speaker 1: the ultimate thirty thousand foot view of John Ackwood's life.
Speaker 1: Believe me when I tell you you could do a
Speaker 1: three hour show on this freaking guy. But I promised
Speaker 1: you we would try to get to as many of
Speaker 1: these ask Doctor Jesse questions as we could today, and
Speaker 1: we will. Remember it's an ask Doctor Jesse Friday. You
Speaker 1: can email your questions in during the show. They are
Speaker 1: more than welcome to do so. You are more than
Speaker 1: welcome to do so. Chris gets them throughout the show
Speaker 1: prints them out for me. I'm going to try to
Speaker 1: be better about not getting distracted and get to as
Speaker 1: many of them as I possibly can today. But imagine
Speaker 1: what that is like as a city state to pay
Speaker 1: someone not to kill you. I think you and I
Speaker 1: take things for granted. Sometimes I know I do. Maybe
Speaker 1: you don't, but I know I do. The times we
Speaker 1: live in even now, yeah, we're obviously not going well culturally.
Speaker 1: To put it mildly, it's not going well culturally. Things
Speaker 1: are shifting the wrong way in the country and we
Speaker 1: have moments, you know, we just lost an election. We
Speaker 1: have these moments where we think this sucks. Nah, we
Speaker 1: got it tough. Imagine what it's like to wake up
Speaker 1: in the morning, look outside of your city and see
Speaker 1: you're surrounded by mercenaries and know you have to pay
Speaker 1: them not to murder you. A little perspective in life.
Speaker 1: Ain't bad? All right? I've been wrongly convicted of first
Speaker 1: degree murder and I have a choice to make. Hang,
Speaker 1: you're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. You're welcome. No
Speaker 1: word in the English language is less convincing than probably.
Speaker 1: Are you sure we should get imaging tattoos on our
Speaker 1: first meet? Sure? We'll probably stay together. Probably, it's been
Speaker 1: twenty three minutes since I ate. I can probably swim.
Speaker 1: You should wait thirty minutes. Okay, don't tell me what
Speaker 1: to do. Cand b cramp, Oh, I have a cramp.
Speaker 1: I can probably hit the green from here. Probably? Can
Speaker 1: I get a Mulligan ready to go? Hey? Are you
Speaker 1: sure you're okay to drive? Yeah? I'm pretty sober. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm probably okay. Probably okay isn't okay, especially when it
Speaker 1: comes to drinking and driving. If you're drinking, call a cab,
Speaker 1: a car or a friend, buzz driving is drunk driving.
Speaker 1: A message brought to you by NITZA and AD Council.
Speaker 1: It's Jesse Kelly. What do I think about Governor Ron
Speaker 1: De Santis of Florida. I'll get to that question in
Speaker 1: just a few minutes. We have Cam Edwards coming up
Speaker 1: in about thirty and I don't even know if we're
Speaker 1: gonna talk politics about him today. I told him we're
Speaker 1: gonna talk about Stonewall Jackson. I love Stonewall Jackson, rebel
Speaker 1: general during the war, completely eccentric and brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Speaker 1: But first, it's it asked doctor Jesse Friday. Let us begin,
Speaker 1: doctor Jesse Steele. Sombrero Kelly, you've been wrongfully convicted of
Speaker 1: first degree murder. There's no way for you to prove
Speaker 1: your innocence and zero chance of it ever getting overturned.
Speaker 1: Would you rather serve out a life sentence? But you
Speaker 1: have to live on a strictly vegetarian diet for the
Speaker 1: rest of your days, or you can take the death
Speaker 1: penalty and you get to eat anything you want for
Speaker 1: your last day. I don't want to sound like an
Speaker 1: old person right now. I don't want to sound old
Speaker 1: and boring. I would rather in a vacuum. In a vacuum,
Speaker 1: I would rather I've You know, you ask yourself these
Speaker 1: kind of questions all the time. You whether live a
Speaker 1: long life. I, personally, because food is so important to me.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm the greatest food orderer in the world.
Speaker 1: Because food is so important to me, I personally would
Speaker 1: rather live a shorter life and eat what I want
Speaker 1: versus a longer life. However, there's something else to that.
Speaker 1: There's something to be said. Now I have kids, and
Speaker 1: you do look at things differently once you have them,
Speaker 1: because it's not just about me. It's it's about the wife.
Speaker 1: It's about the kids. Do I stick her without a husband?
Speaker 1: Do I stick my kids without a father? See Jewish
Speaker 1: producer Chris As. I'd be in prison though, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: they can come visit. Yes, they'll come visit. They would
Speaker 1: come visit me in prison. I'd be the best prison visitor, Chris.
Speaker 1: But again, do you never want to see your grandkids?
Speaker 1: I will tell you though, I think I do choose
Speaker 1: to have my great last meal. Chris wants, Chris, that's
Speaker 1: an inappropriate question. He wants to know if private visits
Speaker 1: with the wife are permitted. Let's go with no in
Speaker 1: order to make the question more fair. I still say
Speaker 1: death penalty. Though I say death penalty. I'm checking out
Speaker 1: of here because I can't. I don't like vegetables. I
Speaker 1: don't like vegetables. And you can yell at me all
Speaker 1: you want about that's how a child eats. I am
Speaker 1: telling you this is an absolute fact. You are born
Speaker 1: with specific taste buds that are inclined towards certain things.
Speaker 1: I have two children, same parents, well lord willing, same parents.
Speaker 1: My oldest will sit down and he will eat broccoli
Speaker 1: and ask for a second helping of broccoli. My youngest
Speaker 1: has vomited up vegetables back onto the table before because
Speaker 1: they're so gross to him. And I did the same
Speaker 1: thing when I was a kid. My folks used to
Speaker 1: make me eat lima beans, and that was the time
Speaker 1: when I mean, it's just a different era. We'll sit
Speaker 1: there all night and unless they left the room so
Speaker 1: I could sneak them into the trash can, I would
Speaker 1: sit there all night long, and if they try to
Speaker 1: force me to eat them, it would make me vomit.
Speaker 1: It's that bad. So it wouldn't be a life for
Speaker 1: me if I had to go vegetarian. I simply couldn't
Speaker 1: do it. Vegetables are the one thing I don't eat. Yes,
Speaker 1: I can eat corn, Chris. Potatoes are good as long
Speaker 1: as it's in French fry or tater taught form. Potatoes
Speaker 1: are better, the crispier they are. That's just a fact.
Speaker 1: Double fried French fries are the greatest thing ever. There
Speaker 1: was this place up in Frisco. I'm gonna mess up
Speaker 1: the name of it. We used to live up in
Speaker 1: the Dallas area. There was this place up there that
Speaker 1: served called it was called a Juicy Lucy Burger. Restaurants
Speaker 1: have Juicy Lucy's. It's just what the burgers called. It's
Speaker 1: the one they stuff with cheese and say you bite
Speaker 1: into it and the cheese just comes dribbling out all
Speaker 1: over your face and all over the plate. It might
Speaker 1: be the best thing ever. Gosh see, that was fast, Chris.
Speaker 1: That was fast. I told you I was gonna stay
Speaker 1: focused today. It's a new Jesse, Chris. That this Jesse
Speaker 1: of old that used to lack focus and not prepare
Speaker 1: or anything like that. That Jesse's gone. The show's national now,
Speaker 1: the show's even going to Boston. We keep getting picked
Speaker 1: up by these top ten markets. The taste of the
Speaker 1: American people is going downhill when this show is rising
Speaker 1: like this Jesse at Jesse Kelly Show dot com or
Speaker 1: eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three
Speaker 1: eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three.
Speaker 1: Biden got asked about Hunter again yesterday. I just had
Speaker 1: to play you this real quick listen of this. We
Speaker 1: have great confidence in our sons. I am not concerned
Speaker 1: about any accusation has been made against him. It's used
Speaker 1: to get to me. I think it's kind of foul play,
Speaker 1: but look, it is what it is, and he's a
Speaker 1: grown man. He is the smartest man I know. I
Speaker 1: mean in for of pure intellectual capacity. And as long
Speaker 1: as he's good, we're good. You know the thing about that, though,
Speaker 1: right now you're rolling your eyes. When I was listening
Speaker 1: to it, I was rolling my eyes. But here's here's
Speaker 1: an uncomfortable truth about that. Heyn One in three adults
Speaker 1: has pre diabetes. One in three. That means it could
Speaker 1: be you your football buddy, your fruitball buddy, or you
Speaker 1: your best man, your worst man. You you're a dog walker,
Speaker 1: your cat jugger. While one in three adults has pre diabetes.
Speaker 1: With early diagnosis, pre diabetes can be reversed. Take the
Speaker 1: risk test and do I have pre diabetes? Dot org?
Speaker 1: That's do I have pre diabetes? Dot org? Wait? Did
Speaker 1: they just say one in three adults has pre diabetes.
Speaker 1: That's thirty three point three three three percent of adults.
Speaker 1: That means it could be me my boss or my
Speaker 1: boss's boss, or me my favorite sister or my other sister.
Speaker 1: That's seven members of my twenty one person romantic book club. Wait,
Speaker 1: the one in three could be me my karaoke partner Carol,
Speaker 1: or uh, my karaoke enemy, Jeff. I'm going to take
Speaker 1: the risk test that do I have pre diabetes? Dot org?
Speaker 1: Brought to you by the AD Council, and it's pre
Speaker 1: Diabetes Awareness Partners. We have great confidence in our son.
Speaker 1: I am not concerned about any accusation has been made
Speaker 1: against him. It's used to get to me. I think
Speaker 1: it's kind of foul play, but look, it is what
Speaker 1: it is, and he's a grown man. He is the
Speaker 1: smartest man I know. I mean in front of pure
Speaker 1: intellectual capacity. And as long as he's good, we're good.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a bitter truth out there. One that
Speaker 1: you and I have to accept we are important because
Speaker 1: people who are activists for the cause are the ones
Speaker 1: who drive the ship. So you are important. I am
Speaker 1: very very important. But remember this and remember it well
Speaker 1: because it matters. You don't decide election. I don't decide election. You.
Speaker 1: There's a ninety chance you know who you're voting for,
Speaker 1: or at least a party you're voting for. In four
Speaker 1: years from now. You have no idea who the candidate is,
Speaker 1: and you already know. You and I don't decide election.
Speaker 1: Someone else does. Joe Biden, what's he doing? Well? Tell
Speaker 1: you something you don't want to hear. Hang on, this
Speaker 1: is a Jesse Kelly show. This is a Jesse Kelly show.
Speaker 1: It is your going to be a fun hour on
Speaker 1: the show. We have Cam Edwards coming up in about
Speaker 1: twenty minutes. We're talking civil war stuff, Stonewall Jackson. I
Speaker 1: am gonna get to this Governor de Santis thing here
Speaker 1: and just a few we got to talk about big
Speaker 1: foot today. What to do stranded on an island, to
Speaker 1: leave or not they've did. There's some great questions. But
Speaker 1: first this Joe Biden Hunter Biden thing. Remember Joe Biden's
Speaker 1: out there. I'm proud of my son, son's the smartest guy.
Speaker 1: I know you and I know Hunter Biden is dirty
Speaker 1: as dirty gets almost undoubtedly Joe's dirty with him. You
Speaker 1: hear Joe say things like I love my son, proud
Speaker 1: of my son's smartest guy. I know you roll your eyes.
Speaker 1: I roll my eyes instinctively. The people who decide elections,
Speaker 1: the relatively non political person, the rust belt swing voters,
Speaker 1: they hear a father defending his son. That's what they hear.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you something else now, I think Biden's
Speaker 1: as dirty as it gets. I think it was involved
Speaker 1: in all this. I'm not defending Joe entirely, but I've
Speaker 1: told you this before and i'll tell you again. My
Speaker 1: people are my people, and my people they're above anything else,
Speaker 1: including the law for me. I'm not telling you that's right.
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you that's right. If it was my
Speaker 1: son involved in all this stuff, I would deny it.
Speaker 1: I would defend him. I mean I would. I would
Speaker 1: privately just absolutely destroy him. But to everyone else, he's mine,
Speaker 1: non extradition country. You bet he's mine. Now, if he
Speaker 1: wants to do what I would say is the right thing,
Speaker 1: admit it turn himself in so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: That's fine. But I'm never under any circumstances selling my
Speaker 1: son out to you. Ever. He's my flesh and blood.
Speaker 1: He's number one for me. And I think that's not
Speaker 1: that unpopular. And I think that's what people hear when
Speaker 1: they hear Joe Biden defending Hunter Biden. This Hunter Biden's
Speaker 1: story is a very big deal. It's the communist Chinese
Speaker 1: having their hooks in the president of the United States.
Speaker 1: I'm not discounting that, but I am telling you it's
Speaker 1: only a big deal and as much as you can
Speaker 1: tie it to Joe Biden himself. Otherwise, who doesn't feel
Speaker 1: sympathy for a parent with a dirt ball song? Don't
Speaker 1: you know? Good people out there maybe had a few kids,
Speaker 1: maybe only I had one, and just one of them
Speaker 1: turned into a dirt ball. It's a fear of every parent, right.
Speaker 1: You look around and you look at your kids and think,
Speaker 1: oh gosh, here we go. But you feel sympathy for him,
Speaker 1: at least I do. At least I do. When I
Speaker 1: see people with dirtball kids, I think to myself, how
Speaker 1: much would that suck? I look at my boys now
Speaker 1: and not to get too heavy. We're gonna talk about
Speaker 1: Bigfoot here in a second. But I look at my
Speaker 1: boys now, and you know what I worry one of
Speaker 1: the things I worry most about. Obviously, I have the
Speaker 1: normal parental concerns. Everyone else does, car wreck, you, cancer,
Speaker 1: all these these terrible things. I look at my boys
Speaker 1: and I worry about addiction. I worry about drug addiction.
Speaker 1: And I worry about it because when you look at
Speaker 1: the opioid crisis, which turned into a heroine crisis across
Speaker 1: the country, and you read some of the stories of
Speaker 1: the kids who got hooked so often, they were the
Speaker 1: most well adjusted, good grades. I mean, the beautiful girl,
Speaker 1: captain of the cheerleadings squad, star athlete. Dude, he's got
Speaker 1: a football scholarship, and soon he's dead. Because that's how
Speaker 1: powerful that stuff is. That's really what I worry about.
Speaker 1: I worry about it a lot, all right, Doctor Jesse,
Speaker 1: Do you believe in sasquatch slash bigfoot slash yetti? What
Speaker 1: do you think gave rise to this lore or myth.
Speaker 1: I think it was a type of humanoid that went extinct,
Speaker 1: and we have some carryover from the last of their
Speaker 1: kind and he didn't tell me. I can read his name,
Speaker 1: so I'm not going to read his name. Here's what
Speaker 1: I think about Yetti, Bigfoot, these types of things. I
Speaker 1: think there's obviously obviously animals come and go. Animals go
Speaker 1: extinct based on a variety of things, their climate, diet,
Speaker 1: that man runs them out, a more powerful animal animal
Speaker 1: runs them out, so on and so forth. I think
Speaker 1: most of the things we talk about were wolves and
Speaker 1: big foots and yettis in locknow, monsters and things like that.
Speaker 1: We have powerful imaginations and all it takes is a
Speaker 1: little glimpse of something a bear, something from a child,
Speaker 1: from a lady, from a herd, from a guy who
Speaker 1: heard from a guy who heard from a guy, and
Speaker 1: soon you have bigfoot out there, and now you have
Speaker 1: so many of these people out there looking for it
Speaker 1: because they want to believe it. I mean, the lockness monsters.
Speaker 1: Let's stop there for a minute. It's a great example
Speaker 1: of it. We know. Get this, Wrap your mind around
Speaker 1: this and tell me what this says about mankind. We
Speaker 1: know now for a fact, this was a hoax, and
Speaker 1: intentionally created hoax because the town itself was dying and
Speaker 1: they needed to drive tourism, and they thought if they
Speaker 1: could create some fake monster, it would drive tourism. And
Speaker 1: it turned out to be wildly successful. By the way,
Speaker 1: and this is not something I'm making up. This is documented.
Speaker 1: We know that, we know all the details. It was
Speaker 1: a hope, and yet to this day people will flock
Speaker 1: to Lockness looking for the monster when the information's already
Speaker 1: out there. Take you five seconds on Google to figure
Speaker 1: out it was all a lie. The truth is, we
Speaker 1: have powerful imaginations and it's an odd part of human nature.
Speaker 1: But we want monsters to exist. We do they fascinate us,
Speaker 1: We want them to exist. I've said this about about
Speaker 1: movies often. I really believe this movies, TV shows, here's
Speaker 1: where they go wrong. Do you remember the TV show
Speaker 1: Loss Lost Jewish producer Chris how incredible it was in
Speaker 1: the first season, and then season two started to suck
Speaker 1: and then it really got embarrassing. And from there on,
Speaker 1: movie shows like Lost, movies like I think it's called
Speaker 1: The Village. The Village was this movie where the villagers
Speaker 1: were constantly harassed and scared by these scary things that
Speaker 1: live out in the woods. What are the scary things?
Speaker 1: And they don't show you and they don't show you,
Speaker 1: and they don't show you, and they don't show you.
Speaker 1: And then at the end it turned out the scary
Speaker 1: things in the woods that were hurting people were just
Speaker 1: people dressed up. It was just people who put on
Speaker 1: a costume. And everybody hated the movie. Everybody was so disappointed,
Speaker 1: and nobody remembered why you hated the movie. You know
Speaker 1: why you hated the movie because when you make a
Speaker 1: horror movie, something scary, even lost, something based on mystery.
Speaker 1: Oh there's a mysterious thing out there. What's the thing?
Speaker 1: What could the thing be? Your imagination is more powerful
Speaker 1: than anything they could come up with, So you create
Speaker 1: your own personal scary monster in your mind. You and
Speaker 1: I both watched the Village. We have different ideas of
Speaker 1: what that scary monster is. But yours is your scariest
Speaker 1: thing you can think of, And mind's the scariest thing
Speaker 1: I can think of, And the guy next to you
Speaker 1: is the scariest thing he can think of. And the
Speaker 1: guy who wrote the movie can never possibly in a
Speaker 1: million years, deliver on what your imagination has already created.
Speaker 1: That's the truth. The truth is, we love monsters, We
Speaker 1: love to be scared, we love to think these things
Speaker 1: are out there. It creates an excitement in the human existence.
Speaker 1: We get bored, and a lot of bad things have
Speaker 1: happened to human beings throughout history because they get bored.
Speaker 1: Boredom's a killer as a fact. Hello Doctors, show Gun
Speaker 1: Jesse big fan of the show from New York City,
Speaker 1: and hello to you, New York City. I love New
Speaker 1: York City so much, Chris, I love that play. You
Speaker 1: don't you're shaking your head because you've never been there.
Speaker 1: You people are all over New York City. I can't
Speaker 1: believe you haven't been all right. The guy from New
Speaker 1: York City wants to know about Rhonda Santis and my thoughts.
Speaker 1: Let's tell you those thoughts and just to say true,
Speaker 1: it's the Jesse Kelly Show. You're never completely ready to
Speaker 1: adopt a teen. For late nights, writing English papers are
Speaker 1: your teen's music taste, for dinners where they talk more
Speaker 1: on their phone than with you. For the first time
Speaker 1: they call you mom. You're never completely ready to adopt
Speaker 1: a teen, and you can't imagine the reward. To learn
Speaker 1: more about adopting a teen, visit adopt us kids dot org.
Speaker 1: Brought to you by the US Department of Health and
Speaker 1: humans are adopt us Kids and the AD Council. Part
Speaker 1: time job, full time hustle, all time. Shiro to all
Speaker 1: of us. You nurture, we listen, you teach, we thrive,
Speaker 1: You lift our spirits. But we've got to lay down
Speaker 1: the truth. It's time for you, our Shiro, to stretch
Speaker 1: for the stars. Start saving more for retirement now so
Speaker 1: you can feel prepared and live your life to the fullest.
Speaker 1: Get free tips to help boost your retirement savings now
Speaker 1: at Asia retirement dot org. Slash Shiro A message brought
Speaker 1: to you by AARP and the AD Council. We're getting
Speaker 1: to the RHN de Santis thing here in a moment.
Speaker 1: It's Jesse Kelly. You can call in eight seven seven
Speaker 1: three seven seven four three seven three Jesse at Jesse
Speaker 1: Kelly show dot com. It's an ass, doctor Jesse Friday.
Speaker 1: I am going to get to this District Attorney of
Speaker 1: Los Angeles and what he had to say I am.
Speaker 1: It's just it's like, when I get to it, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get upset and I'm gonna start talking too much politics.
Speaker 1: To just be patient with me for a minute. Jewish
Speaker 1: producer Chris doesn't like New York City because he's never
Speaker 1: been to New York City and it doesn't appreciate it.
Speaker 1: When you're in New York City, it feels historic, it
Speaker 1: feels big and important, and it's so old. That's what
Speaker 1: I love about it. It's unsurprisingly. I love the history
Speaker 1: of it. It's so old. Last time I was there,
Speaker 1: I went and ate at Sparks Steakhouse where Big Paul Castellano,
Speaker 1: the boss of the Gambino crime family, was assassinated by
Speaker 1: John Gotti. I went and stood in the exact spot
Speaker 1: where Paul Castellano was gunned down. That's freaking awesome. That
Speaker 1: is freaking awesome. I'm told you can even take a
Speaker 1: mafia tour of New York City, and yes, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do that, only I'm probably gonna have to wait
Speaker 1: about two decades because they've absolutely destroyed my beloved city.
Speaker 1: But or whatever. Anyway, big fan of the show of
Speaker 1: New York City. For the twenty twenty four race, what
Speaker 1: do you think about Rhonda santis At The guy's potential
Speaker 1: will be a really good president, as he's already a
Speaker 1: great governor. Also as a person from NYC, we gotta
Speaker 1: deal with both the Blasio and Cuomo. Which one do
Speaker 1: you think is worse. I appreciate the radio show and
Speaker 1: your TV show on the first. Keep up the good work,
Speaker 1: all right. First of all, Rhonda Santis, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: Rhonda Santis is currently the leader in the clubhouse for
Speaker 1: potential GOP nominees in twenty twenty four one. He's been
Speaker 1: outstanding on coronavirus, not perfect, but he's been outstanding. Two,
Speaker 1: he has one absolutely essential quality for any candidate wanting
Speaker 1: to be a Republican nominee. This is no longer a
Speaker 1: nice side thing we can hope for. This is one
Speaker 1: hundred percent essential. It's as important as his stance on
Speaker 1: any of the issues. Ronda Santis does not let the
Speaker 1: media walk all over him. He doesn't apologize, he doesn't backpedal.
Speaker 1: He will come right back in your face, and he
Speaker 1: decides what he wants to talk about. You cannot possibly
Speaker 1: have any success as a national Republican unless you are
Speaker 1: that guy. And the problem is that's natural. That's not
Speaker 1: something you can teach people. I saw somebody yesterday. I'm
Speaker 1: not even gonna call him out for it. Got caught
Speaker 1: in some stupid, little minor controversy and immediately blamed his
Speaker 1: staff and say it went with my staff was I
Speaker 1: didn't This is stupid. I didn't mean to No, no,
Speaker 1: we are past that time. You come right back in
Speaker 1: their face. You own it, you make fun of them,
Speaker 1: you change the subject. You cannot be back pedal, guy,
Speaker 1: or that is like slicing open your arm and dropping
Speaker 1: blood in a pool of sharks. For these people, they
Speaker 1: are constantly probing for weakness. Why do you think with
Speaker 1: all the things I say, why do you think I
Speaker 1: don't have as many national controversies now as I did
Speaker 1: even say a year ago? Why do you think that
Speaker 1: is the show's bigger now than ever before? My TV
Speaker 1: show's taking off, the radio show. I can't believe this
Speaker 1: stuff's working, but it's working. And yet I say the
Speaker 1: most defensive stuff out there and don't get in national
Speaker 1: troubled out of And why do you think that is?
Speaker 1: Because every time they've tried, I've waded into it, waded
Speaker 1: into it, I've doubled down, and then the matter they
Speaker 1: get all tripled down, and then they just lose their minds.
Speaker 1: Why is it he upon apologizing, I don't understand he
Speaker 1: said something. I'm really mad about it. I got my
Speaker 1: thousand friends to be really mad about it, and I'm
Speaker 1: so mad. Why isn't he apologizing? Then I'll quadruple down.
Speaker 1: Word gets around who the easy prey is and who
Speaker 1: the easy prey Isn't you either show them you will
Speaker 1: not apologize, You will not back down, and you will
Speaker 1: not dictate to me what I can talk about, or
Speaker 1: they're going to eat you alive. You simply will not
Speaker 1: be able to withstand the onslaught of being a Republican president.
Speaker 1: Look what Trump went through as president. Impeachment collusion investigations
Speaker 1: day after day after day, have made up scandals, pushing
Speaker 1: chaos and chaos and chaos and anarchie. It's the end
Speaker 1: of the world. You have got to be tough enough
Speaker 1: to come back at them. And I like that about
Speaker 1: the Santis that said, let me allow a big caution
Speaker 1: flag to drape all over your RHN de Santist dreams.
Speaker 1: And this is a big one. Four years is a
Speaker 1: long time, A long time. The hot guy now ain't
Speaker 1: necessarily the hot guy by twenty twenty four. I've seen
Speaker 1: this ten thousand times in politics. Is we fall in
Speaker 1: love with somebody because we're always looking for the next thing.
Speaker 1: We're always looking for the next thing, the next superstar,
Speaker 1: the next the next person to lead us out, the
Speaker 1: next this, the next that. We're always looking for that.
Speaker 1: But so often the bloom comes off that rose for
Speaker 1: things you can't foresee. You forget now because in Republican circles,
Speaker 1: In many Republican circles, he's a punchline. There was a
Speaker 1: time when Chris Christie was going to be the nominee
Speaker 1: for Republican for for Republican President, not during his second term,
Speaker 1: where he of course stumbled, tripped up, got caught in
Speaker 1: a couple controversies. During Chris Christie's first term when he
Speaker 1: was elected as a Republican President of New Jersey, it
Speaker 1: is totally forgotten now. He was the big deal. He
Speaker 1: was out there given fire and brimstone speeches. I had
Speaker 1: to go because I was running for Congress at the time.
Speaker 1: I went to this really private event in the Republican
Speaker 1: Conference where all the House Republicans, they had these mega
Speaker 1: speakers come in and there's no media allowed, there's no nothing,
Speaker 1: it's only the House Republicans, and sometimes they allow candidates in.
Speaker 1: Chris Christie got up and gave a speech. The entire
Speaker 1: place stood standing, ovation, cheering. When he was done, Chris
Speaker 1: Christie was huge, and then one or two controversies later dawn,
Speaker 1: Just like that, the blooms off the roads. What do
Speaker 1: I say all the time? Trees don't grow to the
Speaker 1: sky right now. If the primary was held right now
Speaker 1: and Trump wasn't in it, Desantist is probably the leader
Speaker 1: in the clubhouse. I fully admit that, and I like
Speaker 1: him a lot. I'm I'm not dogging on him at all. However,
Speaker 1: four years is a long time, especially when the media
Speaker 1: they're all over him. Now, what if he gets a
Speaker 1: controversy that's not even a controversy, remember when they have
Speaker 1: so much control of the system as they do. Look
Speaker 1: what they did to Trump. They can create controversy out
Speaker 1: of nothing. Now, we impeached the president of the United
Speaker 1: States of America over a phone call. We all saw
Speaker 1: the transcript of think about that for a moment. Impeachment
Speaker 1: is a big, big deal. We impeached Donald Trump over
Speaker 1: a phone call. We saw a transcript of they can
Speaker 1: take nothing and create a big deal out of it. Now,
Speaker 1: and they do, and they will. So maybe he'll run
Speaker 1: into something that isn't even in his control. Maybe he
Speaker 1: won't have screwed anything up, but that doesn't mean it's
Speaker 1: not a big, big, big deal. Now, as far as
Speaker 1: de Blasio and Cuomo goes, here's the difference between Deblasio
Speaker 1: and Cuomo. Remember I told you yesterday, while Obama was
Speaker 1: so damaging to the country, did so much lasting damage
Speaker 1: to the country, Barack Obama was a true believer. Andrew
Speaker 1: Cuomo's just a good old fashioned, corrupt New York politician, scumbag,
Speaker 1: just the same as it ever was in New York.
Speaker 1: Bill Deblasio is a true believer. Bill Deblasio is a
Speaker 1: true and blue He has his history is there. He
Speaker 1: is a true blue communist communist. Bill Deblasio is, and
Speaker 1: he believes it all the way. He's currently he believes
Speaker 1: it so much he's currently destroying his own city, destroying
Speaker 1: it intentionally. That's how how much Bill Deblasio believes. Would
Speaker 1: he believe? All Right, it's time to talk to Cam
Speaker 1: Edwards about the Civil War? Gosh, this is gonna be sweet. Hi.
Speaker 1: No word in English language is less convincing than probably.
Speaker 1: Are you sure we should get matching tattoos on our
Speaker 1: first date? Sure? We'll probably stay together. Probably it's been
Speaker 1: twenty three minutes since I ate. I can probably swim.
Speaker 1: You should wait thirty minutes, okay, I don't tell me
Speaker 1: what the job candid bo scrap. I have a cramp.
Speaker 1: I can probably hit the green from here. Probably can
Speaker 1: I get a mulligan? I'm ready to go. Hey, are
Speaker 1: you sure you're okay to drive? Yeah? I'm pretty sober. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm probably okay. Probably okay isn't okay, especially when it
Speaker 1: comes to drinking and driving. If you're drinking, call a cab,
Speaker 1: a car, or a friend. Buzz driving is drunk driving.
Speaker 1: A message brought to you by NITZA and AD Counsel.
Speaker 1: You just heard your cocaine question. I found a carrious
Speaker 1: there is six hundred and forty nine kilos, not six fifty.
Speaker 1: But you know, under the right circumstances, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: i'd sell one or two just to you know, make money.
Speaker 1: I mean, people don't understand how many guys are out there.
Speaker 1: I wanted to play that again because it does bring
Speaker 1: up a good point six forty nine instead of six
Speaker 1: to fifty. How do we know there wasn't a thousand?
Speaker 1: How do we know there wasn't two thousand? How do
Speaker 1: we know the cops didn't show up and take some
Speaker 1: of it. I mean, it's happened before. Let's not act
Speaker 1: like everybody's pure as the driven snow over here. I
Speaker 1: don't know why I'm so hung up on this, Chris.
Speaker 1: I guess it's because there's a boat. Remember this is
Speaker 1: from yesterday. There's a boat, a drift at sea, shows
Speaker 1: up with a whole bunch of cocaine in it. Someone
Speaker 1: found it and called the cops. It's clearly an abandoned boat,
Speaker 1: a long abandoned boat. I should stress that part of
Speaker 1: the story, because if you find a boat that looks
Speaker 1: pretty new with cocaine in it, I really would recommend
Speaker 1: you just call the cops and run the other direction.
Speaker 1: That's a good way to end up with your hands
Speaker 1: chopped off or something like that. But long abandoned, what
Speaker 1: would I do? I would like to think. I would
Speaker 1: like to think I would call the police, But we
Speaker 1: all know how terrible of a person I am. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not calling you, Chris. All right, we have much
Speaker 1: stuff to get to. I'm gonna get to this LA
Speaker 1: District Attorney in a minute. Dear doctor Shogun Oracle Steel
Speaker 1: ay A Tola of Rock and Roller Jesse. I love
Speaker 1: this emails people. I begin losing my hair in my
Speaker 1: mid thirties. By forty, I have decided to wave. I
Speaker 1: had decided to wave the white flag of surrender and
Speaker 1: shave my head ball As the fifteen days to stop
Speaker 1: the spreads stretches onto a year. I thought that maybe
Speaker 1: some good could come from this pandemic. So I have
Speaker 1: committed to bringing back the comb over. I yearned for
Speaker 1: those I gone years when when men held onto their
Speaker 1: last shreds of self confidence and dignity for a few
Speaker 1: mere strands of hair stretched across their otherwise bald head.
Speaker 1: I know that it will be no easy task, and
Speaker 1: I am committed to doing this naturally, without the use
Speaker 1: of performance enhancers. Although I firmly believe that this will
Speaker 1: result in what Cardi b so eloquently sings about which
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be discussing on this show. My
Speaker 1: girlfriend is less than impressed. So what say you, O,
Speaker 1: wise one comb over or not? Gentlemen, gentlemen, here's the thing, fellas,
Speaker 1: and this is gonna be tough for you to swallow,
Speaker 1: but look, I get all your cheers whenever I rip
Speaker 1: on women for wearing flats. I get all these emails
Speaker 1: of guy's cheering privately. You know they won't tell their
Speaker 1: wives or girlfriend, but they're telling me, Oh, I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you said it. They're so ugly. But remember I'm
Speaker 1: giving it. I'm giving you all the truth you don't want, Fellas.
Speaker 1: It's not just that comb overs look terrible. It's not
Speaker 1: that your hair needs to get shorter as it thins
Speaker 1: out and recedes. And I say this to you as
Speaker 1: a thirty nine year old whose hair is fitting out
Speaker 1: and receding. It's retreating back towards my ears. I know, Chris,
Speaker 1: you're like twelve. I know you still have hair, all right.
Speaker 1: Believe me, pal, it ends your hair gets shorter as
Speaker 1: it gets less prevalent period and Fellas, I get that
Speaker 1: a lot of guys are more self conscious than I am.
Speaker 1: But setting the comb over aside, hear me, and hear me. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't know why this is the case, but believe
Speaker 1: me when I tell you, every single person on the
Speaker 1: planet can tell that it's a tupei and it looks terrible.
Speaker 1: And every single person on the planet can tell that
Speaker 1: you dyed it and it looks terrible. Let it go.
Speaker 1: Let it go go gray, man, I've got it coming in.
Speaker 1: You should see my beard. My beard's about half and
Speaker 1: half anymore. Now, guess what. The wife loves it. Let
Speaker 1: it go gray. Let your hair on top of your
Speaker 1: head go gray. Let it thin out, shave it down.
Speaker 1: If you're really maybe you have an ugly head, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Become a hat guy. There stuff they're wrong with being
Speaker 1: a hat guy. There are some sweet hats out there.
Speaker 1: Chicks love it, those old nineteen twenties and thirties look
Speaker 1: of you know, suit and tie with the trench coat
Speaker 1: on and one of those sweet hats. Ah, dude, you
Speaker 1: have to be fighting off the ladies with a stick
Speaker 1: with that look. There's nothing wrong with being head guy. Fellas,
Speaker 1: I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. It's
Speaker 1: just like the ladies. The ladies were outraged when I
Speaker 1: told all of them your flats are disgustingly ugly. It's
Speaker 1: the equivalent to a man wearing sweatpants. It's borderline disrespectful.
Speaker 1: It's so ugly. Notice I didn't say you had to
Speaker 1: wear heels. I didn't say that. Obviously heels look great.
Speaker 1: They are a million options. Boots. Shoot tennis shoes look
Speaker 1: great on women, but those ballet flats looking things are
Speaker 1: the least flattering, ugliest things I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 1: And I know all your girlfriends tell you, oh, that
Speaker 1: looks so cute. They do not. They're lying to you.
Speaker 1: It's ugly, fellas, same thing for you, the comb over,
Speaker 1: the tupei, the die. Everyone can tell. And it looks
Speaker 1: like crap at all times. It's terrible looking. Plus, you
Speaker 1: know what really sails with the ladies when it comes
Speaker 1: right down to it. I mean, yeah, money, But what
Speaker 1: really sails with the ladies confidence. Nothing they love more
Speaker 1: than confidence. If you don't have it, fine fake it.
Speaker 1: You know what you're ugly looking to pay? Says to
Speaker 1: the ladies. Says I'm insecure. Says I'm insecure, So drop
Speaker 1: it all right. This Los Angeles District Attorney thing, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to spend much time on this because it's
Speaker 1: an ask because doctor Jesse Friday and I don't need
Speaker 1: to be bringing you down, but we do have to
Speaker 1: have a brief talk about it. Eight seven seven three
Speaker 1: seven seven four three seven three is the number or
Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot com. Remember you can
Speaker 1: still email in You're asked, doctor Jesse questions, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try to get through all these others as fast as
Speaker 1: evenly possible. But hear me. Now, his name's George Gasson
Speaker 1: or Gascon. I don't know how to pronounce his name.
Speaker 1: It's not American. And he says, this is a quote,
Speaker 1: we must achieve sustainable public safety that embraces justice and fairness.
Speaker 1: The false choice between reform and safety is built on
Speaker 1: a myth perpetuated by old school tough on crime advocates.
Speaker 1: Reform makes us safer. He's out there turning criminals loose
Speaker 1: and things like that. Understand this, this way of thinking,
Speaker 1: this way of thinking is not isolated to some ding
Speaker 1: bat wing nut da of Los Angeles. We just had
Speaker 1: a gigantic hack of our nuclear codes and I had
Speaker 1: somebody dig into it for me. Do you know what's
Speaker 1: on our mission statement from our nuclear agency. They're talking
Speaker 1: about diversity and fairness and equity and leveling the playing field.
Speaker 1: The people guarding the nuclear weapons that can destroy the
Speaker 1: world are worried about diversity and fairness. You have to
Speaker 1: understand this is neo Marxism, That's what this is. This
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with fairness or racism or civil
Speaker 1: rights or leveling the playing field. This is neo Marxism.
Speaker 1: It just found a brand new avenue that it has
Speaker 1: allowed itself to worm its way into everything. This is
Speaker 1: how they got into the churches. Remember I lost my
Speaker 1: church about a year ago for this stuff, white privilege
Speaker 1: and all that crap. This is how they got into
Speaker 1: the schools, They got into the military like this. This
Speaker 1: is not just some crazy district attorney in Los Angeles.
Speaker 1: This way of thinking is intentional commie poison designed to
Speaker 1: destroy the United States of America, and it will. It
Speaker 1: is that severe, it is that bad. We are going
Speaker 1: to diversity ourselves into the Stone Age. All right, It's
Speaker 1: time to go to a deserted island with kind of
Speaker 1: a different question. Yeah, oh God, an adimal inside of me.
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly, you're listening to the Jesse Kelly Show. Doctors
Speaker 1: Trusted CBD company made my life easier, and honestly, I
Speaker 1: don't know that there's a nicer thing I can say
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Speaker 1: com brows these incredible products, and while you're there, used
Speaker 1: to promo code Jesse that actually gets you five percent
Speaker 1: off in a free lip bomb through the holidays. It's
Speaker 1: an ask doctor Jesse Friday today. Let us dig in
Speaker 1: because this is a long one. Bear with me. It's
Speaker 1: pretty good. Jewish producer Chris, pay attention to the rules
Speaker 1: in case I screw any of them up. Okay, my Lord,
Speaker 1: the Showgun of America's the man whose head was molded
Speaker 1: by God to be crowned by a sobrero ha Ha
Speaker 1: the oracle from Ohio. He continues, I didn't make any
Speaker 1: of that up by the way it continues in a
Speaker 1: few years, when the Jesse Kelly media empire is raking
Speaker 1: in more than Rush Limbaugh. You're flying with your family
Speaker 1: on your private jet to Australia to film episodes of
Speaker 1: your popular pay per view show, Jesse Kills Stuff. The
Speaker 1: jet crashes, and only you and your family survive on
Speaker 1: an abandoned archipelago. It's just an island, all right. The
Speaker 1: island is large enough and has plenty of food and
Speaker 1: fresh water to sustain you and your family indefinitely. However,
Speaker 1: the volcano on the island is rumbling and you fear
Speaker 1: it may erupt, though you do not know how violently.
Speaker 1: Along with the abandoned buildings, there are plenty of hand
Speaker 1: tools and construction materials, but no electronics. And the plane
Speaker 1: is lost in the depths. All right, So we have
Speaker 1: food and water, we have buildings, we have materials, no electricity.
Speaker 1: What is your plan to return to civilization or do
Speaker 1: you stay put in a relative tropical luxury until you're
Speaker 1: hopefully rescued, die from old age or from the volcanic eruption.
Speaker 1: You determine the chance of each outcome is one third.
Speaker 1: If you plan to leave to get help, you must
Speaker 1: go due to your near Demi God strength and your
Speaker 1: navigational skills. Okay, so I can't send anyone else. I
Speaker 1: have to be the one who go. Regarding the rest
Speaker 1: of your family, who would you have stay, and who,
Speaker 1: if any, would go with you? And why if you leave,
Speaker 1: the chance of your finding civilization is fifty percent. That's
Speaker 1: pretty high, Chris. With a fifty percent chance of dying
Speaker 1: of exposure on the ocean, each additional passenger decreases your
Speaker 1: chance of finding civilization by five percent due to consumption
Speaker 1: of supplies. This guy took some time into this. So
Speaker 1: if your entire family goes, you have a thirty five
Speaker 1: percent chance of finding civilization, and if you do find civilization,
Speaker 1: there's a fifty percent chance you'll never find that island again.
Speaker 1: It's from Tim from Columbus, Ohio. Tim, that was awesome.
Speaker 1: I already know what I'm doing. I'm staying. I have food,
Speaker 1: I have fresh water. Volcano get out of here with
Speaker 1: a volcano. I'm not gonna separate from my family. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna stay on the island and risk the volcano and
Speaker 1: bank on being able to get away. However, for the
Speaker 1: purposes of our discussion, no, Chris, I do not think
Speaker 1: we can get something that's strong enough to withstand the
Speaker 1: volcano blast. I think if the volcano goes off and
Speaker 1: it's big enough, we're dead. But probably not the worst
Speaker 1: way to go is that. What is that city Pompey
Speaker 1: Pump Why am I screwing up the name, But it's
Speaker 1: pomp something. It's in Italy. It's the one that got
Speaker 1: It's the ancient Roman city that got drowned in a
Speaker 1: volcano blast. Maybe in Greek, but I think it's Roman city.
Speaker 1: They got drowned in a volcano blast, and they still
Speaker 1: have people there doing what they were doing when the
Speaker 1: blasts went off. That's how fast they just melted. They
Speaker 1: even have one guy there. You know what, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go into it right now. You've got forever,
Speaker 1: forever remembered in a private moment he was having a
Speaker 1: private moment. But I don't think one, dying in a
Speaker 1: volcano blast will be that bad of a way to go. Two,
Speaker 1: if I have all the food and water I need,
Speaker 1: I'll ignore the volcano blast and simply take take a
Speaker 1: new step. Make sure you're ready at all times. It
Speaker 1: would draw a big SOS on the beach, have a
Speaker 1: quick fire ready to be started if you see a
Speaker 1: plane or or a boat or something like that. If
Speaker 1: I had to leave, I would definitely only go myself.
Speaker 1: I would go myself. I would leave the wife behind,
Speaker 1: leave the kids behind, because my boys are getting older.
Speaker 1: They can help her survive the island. I go ahead
Speaker 1: and tough it out. He said, fifty percent chance I
Speaker 1: find civilization, and then only fifty percent chance I get
Speaker 1: back and find the island. I take off. If I
Speaker 1: had to take off, I take off. Hey, that that
Speaker 1: gives me a twenty five percent chance of taking off
Speaker 1: and bringing someone back. I like it. I like it.
Speaker 1: We would also domesticate some wild animals, just like I
Speaker 1: told everyone not to do yesterday. We would have parrots.
Speaker 1: What I'm just kidding. We would not domesticate any wild animals,
Speaker 1: although that would be sweet. Dear doctor Jesse, Sombrero, it's sombrero, Jesse, Gosh.
Speaker 1: Imagine you received inside information that a nuclear strike coming
Speaker 1: to the United States. It's unclear what locations are going
Speaker 1: to be hit, but you know will be more than
Speaker 1: a few. You try to notify the government for days,
Speaker 1: and they pass you off as a conspiracy theory not.
Speaker 1: It's up to you to protect your family. Do you
Speaker 1: leave the country. If so, where do you go? Do
Speaker 1: you expect it to escalate into a world war? So
Speaker 1: that is going to influence your decision. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think. I don't think. You
Speaker 1: can leave. And here's why you can't leave. You're unfamiliar.
Speaker 1: When disaster strikes, you have to go to familiar You
Speaker 1: know what. I know where I'm going. I have an idea.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. Wake up and text, Text and eat,
Speaker 1: Text and catch the bus, Text and miss your stop. Wait, wait,
Speaker 1: text and be late to work silently, Text and work,
Speaker 1: Text and pretend to work, Text and x surprised when
Speaker 1: someone calls you out for not working. Text and meet
Speaker 1: up with a friend you haven't seen in forever. Text
Speaker 1: and complain that they're on their phone the whole time.
Speaker 1: Text and listen to them, complain that you're on your
Speaker 1: phone the whole time. Text and whatever. But when you
Speaker 1: get behind the wheel, give your phone to a passenger,
Speaker 1: put it in the glove box. Just don't text and drive,
Speaker 1: they said, stop texts. Stoprex dot org a public service
Speaker 1: announcement brought to you by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration,
Speaker 1: and the AD Council. If a nuclear weapon is coming,
Speaker 1: you have to get away from major cities. One. Let's
Speaker 1: just go ahead and start there, because they're not going
Speaker 1: to be nuke in the countryside. I guess they might
Speaker 1: if they're just going to finish us off. You have
Speaker 1: to get away from major cities. I'm going to Montana.
Speaker 1: I was on this Montana ranch one time, Chris. It
Speaker 1: was the coolest thing you've ever seen in your life.
Speaker 1: They had these remote cabins that had been there since
Speaker 1: the eighteen hundreds, where old miners had gone up and
Speaker 1: built the cabins, and they still had some of the
Speaker 1: mines up there. You could go down into them. I mean,
Speaker 1: you'd have to be really careful, you could go down
Speaker 1: into them. If you had the supplies to survive. You
Speaker 1: could survive up there for ages. There's plenty of wild
Speaker 1: game to shoot and kill. I'm going to Montana. The
Speaker 1: problem with leaving the country is where are you gonna go.
Speaker 1: Are you familiar enough with somewhere else that you know
Speaker 1: you can survive. I know that territory I can survive
Speaker 1: up there. You're just worried about the Pool, Chris, gosh,
Speaker 1: that's embarrassing. You see what the ATF is doing. Did
Speaker 1: you see what the ACF is doing? Gosh, you know
Speaker 1: what we are going to talk about that really briefly.
Speaker 1: They don't get back to your questions. Hang on the
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show. This is a Jesse Kelly show. Oh
Speaker 1: we've got an interesting one here. I have a son
Speaker 1: do he's doe to be born in February. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to persuade my wife to name him after combinations of
Speaker 1: great Civil War generals, and would like your opinion on
Speaker 1: which one you think is best. I love your guts.
Speaker 1: Remember it's Jesse Kelly. You could reach me Jesse at
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly show dot com. We still have well, we
Speaker 1: have a heavy one I need to get to. I'm
Speaker 1: a try to churn through as many of these as
Speaker 1: humanly possible, and the next hour I'm gonna move a
Speaker 1: little faster than I normally do. I think. I think
Speaker 1: for the name he has he has suggestions up here
Speaker 1: like Bedford, Tecumpsa. The problem with Bedford is that's Nathan
Speaker 1: Bedford Forrest. And while he was he was for the South.
Speaker 1: But you know, I'm not reflectively everyone for the South
Speaker 1: was a Nazi. Nathan Bedford Forrest was a really bad guy.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he founded the KKK after the Civil War?
Speaker 1: Do I have that right, Chris? He's what definitely one
Speaker 1: of the founders of the KKK after the Civil War.
Speaker 1: The problem is he's one of those guys that's people
Speaker 1: sometimes struggle separating how terrible he was from how capable
Speaker 1: he was. Because he was also a bad man commanding troops.
Speaker 1: Sherman hated him because he was so good. Sherman tried
Speaker 1: everything he could, do everything he could to kill the guy.
Speaker 1: Nathan Bedford Forrest was a bad man, but also a
Speaker 1: bad man not good, So you probably want to stray
Speaker 1: away from Bedford. I would suggest, I would suggest a
Speaker 1: mixture of a North and South one. I would suggest
Speaker 1: something like Stonewall to Cumps. Could you name a kids Stonewall, Chris?
Speaker 1: Or is he gonna catch too much crap for that?
Speaker 1: It is too identifiable? You know, you could just go
Speaker 1: with naming him after that, only not at tell everybody
Speaker 1: you named him after that, what's your name? But it's
Speaker 1: Robert Custer Johnson, you know, And then you would then
Speaker 1: you did a mix of the two. The problem with
Speaker 1: these really awesome names. And I found this when I
Speaker 1: had both my sons and we were trying to come
Speaker 1: up with names. Women reject all the really cool ones.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Punisher is a legitimate middle name. I don't
Speaker 1: care what you say. Chris, did you see this guy
Speaker 1: on TV last night? Did you see what he said?
Speaker 1: You saw? Play this clip? Play this guy? I love
Speaker 1: this guy. Isn't it everything? When you're going for quality
Speaker 1: of life? Quality in anything, don't people have to be
Speaker 1: held accountable for it? But right here on the First,
Speaker 1: as you can probably tell, by this point in time,
Speaker 1: I'm allowed to say whatever I want on the show. Management,
Speaker 1: by the grace of God, has never once told me
Speaker 1: don't say this. Stop saying that. Oh I can't believe
Speaker 1: you said that. I say whatever I want on the show.
Speaker 1: And that's why I love working for the First so much. However,
Speaker 1: if I start showing up to work drunk every night,
Speaker 1: I would get fired because there's accountability here. If the
Speaker 1: people who work for me just stop showing up at all,
Speaker 1: they would get fired. There's accountability here. People are required
Speaker 1: to do certain things around me. In my life. My
Speaker 1: children have accountability. Show me the grades. Give me the
Speaker 1: good grades. Oh you want do you want to play
Speaker 1: video games? You want you want to do this? You
Speaker 1: want to do the fun things you like to do.
Speaker 1: Show me grades first. There's accountability, and if they're if
Speaker 1: the grades drop, the fun stops. Because we have accountability
Speaker 1: in my house. Accountability is everything, every s everywhere around you,
Speaker 1: Everything that's good hasn't And what amazes me is the system.
Speaker 1: As we've talked about a thousand times, and we'll talk
Speaker 1: about a thousand more. Remember the system is well, they're
Speaker 1: in control of everything now. The system is the entire media,
Speaker 1: the entire bureaucracy, the entire Democratic Party, seventy five to
Speaker 1: fifty percent of the Republican Party, Hollywood music, the entire
Speaker 1: education system, now corporate America. They all always speak with
Speaker 1: one voice, and they all always want one thing. And
Speaker 1: we're not just talking about leftism, that's certainly part of it.
Speaker 1: It's really about control and leftism. What amazes me, I
Speaker 1: say that took a step back to I looked at
Speaker 1: everything we've seen. There's never accountability for anything that ever,
Speaker 1: there's never accountability for the people within this system for
Speaker 1: anything ever. They never get held to account in fact
Speaker 1: if you screw up, but you're part of the system.
Speaker 1: If you're in the system club, oftentimes you'll get promoted.
Speaker 1: Tell me something. Tell me a time you've seen one
Speaker 1: of these television doctors. You've seen all over the TV
Speaker 1: for six months, eight months, I've lost track at this
Speaker 1: point in time. They're on TV every day making predictions. Right, well,
Speaker 1: it will be a hundred thousand dead by this day,
Speaker 1: boo man, two hundred thousand dead by this day. We
Speaker 1: have to do this, We have to do that. You've
Speaker 1: been a lockdown or you've been and we've had all
Speaker 1: these predictions, prediction after prediction after prediction, be wrong, be
Speaker 1: factually wrong. They give dates, they give amounts, they're never
Speaker 1: closed to. Right, when's the last time you saw anybody
Speaker 1: call one of these doctors onto their television show and
Speaker 1: ask them, kind of miss the mark here, doc, what happened? Never?
Speaker 1: You haven't seen it? Once you saw it? During the
Speaker 1: Obama doj FBI, CIA disaster, everything they did to Donald
Speaker 1: Trump investigating using the power of government to wire tap
Speaker 1: your political opponent. You took bad information on purpose and
Speaker 1: went to the FISI court with it and got a
Speaker 1: fis a warrant to spy on an American citizen, your
Speaker 1: political opponent, using the FBI and the CIA. They did that.
Speaker 1: It's not some out of the movie. They did that,
Speaker 1: and not only has nobody been held accountable for it.
Speaker 1: They're on TV, they're signing CNN contracts, they're out there
Speaker 1: on book tours. They're not hiding, they're not lawyered up
Speaker 1: and hiding under a bed because they know the accountability
Speaker 1: train is about to come running. They're getting promoted, they're
Speaker 1: getting rich. It is astounding to watch. It really does pay.
Speaker 1: I understand why people choose to join the system instead
Speaker 1: of fighting against the system. If you fight against the system,
Speaker 1: you have no protections anymore none. You are simply left
Speaker 1: out to dry, and the system will try to eat
Speaker 1: you alive if you're part of it. Though, if you
Speaker 1: choose to just relent and well, I mean, let's just
Speaker 1: go along with it, you're untouchable. This is a heavy question.
Speaker 1: Get ready for this one, Dear doctor Steele. My sister's
Speaker 1: husband passed away a few years ago. She has two boys.
Speaker 1: Your kids ages. What Christmas gift would you recommend for
Speaker 1: boys that have no father? Gosh, that is heavy, man,
Speaker 1: That is heavy. I think about that stuff sometimes and
Speaker 1: I will tell you this. Do not buy them a gift,
Speaker 1: not like a physical gift, not a toy, not an iPad,
Speaker 1: not a video game, aim on anything like that. You
Speaker 1: present mom and the boys with. You can have an
Speaker 1: envelope where you describe it with an experience of some kind.
Speaker 1: You book a fishing trip for you and those boys.
Speaker 1: You book a gun safety class for you and those boys.
Speaker 1: You book some kind of manly experience where you will
Speaker 1: take them out, if it's for a day, a weekend,
Speaker 1: whatever the case. Maybe boys have to have a father figure.
Speaker 1: Boys without a father figure. That every single statistic proves it.
Speaker 1: Boys without a father figure are in serious trouble. And
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine because a boy always has a longing
Speaker 1: for his father always. You always want your dad to
Speaker 1: love you and want to be around you and talk
Speaker 1: to you and spend time with you. You just want
Speaker 1: that at all times. To have lost your father has
Speaker 1: to be devastating at that age. Forget about the gifts,
Speaker 1: forget about that. Give them an experience, even if it's
Speaker 1: just for a day. You them, Let's go out do
Speaker 1: some man stuff, fish and kill something, shoot something, race,
Speaker 1: car driving, whatever the case. Maybe go out do something
Speaker 1: fun and slightly dangerous. They'll remember it. That's the stuff boys.
Speaker 1: Name Chris. If I told you I'm not a big
Speaker 1: fan of the ATF. Have we had this conversation before?
Speaker 1: What do you hear what they're doing? I'll tell you
Speaker 1: in a second. Yeah? Is he smarter than everyone who knows?
Speaker 1: Does he think so? Yeah? The Jesse Kelly Shaw. One
Speaker 1: in three adults has pre diabetes. One in three. That
Speaker 1: means it could be you, your football buddy, your fruitball buddy,
Speaker 1: or you your best man, your worst man. You you're
Speaker 1: a dog walker, You're a cat jugger. While one in
Speaker 1: three adults has pre diabetes. With early diagnosis, pre diabetes
Speaker 1: can be reversed. Take the risk test at do I
Speaker 1: have pre diabetes dot org? That's do I have pre
Speaker 1: diabetes dot org? Wait? Did they just say one in
Speaker 1: three adults has pre diabetes. That's thirty three point three
Speaker 1: three three percent of adults. That means it could be
Speaker 1: me my boss or my boss's boss, or me my
Speaker 1: favorite sister or my other sister. That's seven members of
Speaker 1: my twenty one person romantic book club. Wait, the one
Speaker 1: in three could be me my karaoke partner Carol or
Speaker 1: my karaoke enemy, Jeff. I'm going to take the risk
Speaker 1: test it do. I have pre diabetes dot org brought
Speaker 1: to you by the AD Council and it's pre Diabetes
Speaker 1: Awareness Partners. Little name's Mark. And you mentioned about the
Speaker 1: fun in the cocaine. Well, the thing is you're gonna
Speaker 1: be turning it over to the FBI. Now, you trust
Speaker 1: yourself more than the FBI to keep it off the street.
Speaker 1: So what I would do is just destroy it because
Speaker 1: I don't trust our FBI at the moment, they've shown
Speaker 1: they are untrustworthy. So I would destroy it somehow someway
Speaker 1: probably bury it with the whole bunch of dirt sand.
Speaker 1: But that's me. Oh that was uncomfortable, wasn't it? And
Speaker 1: where is he wrong? Where is he wrong? Eight seven
Speaker 1: seven three seven seven four three seven three? It's the
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show. Remember you can find me on social media.
Speaker 1: I'm on all of them, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Parlor. I'm
Speaker 1: not joining anymore, Chris. They keep asking me, are you
Speaker 1: getting on this platform or that platform? No. I worked
Speaker 1: for a living. I can't possibly take the time to
Speaker 1: post on all these plus They're gonna kick me off
Speaker 1: all of them. Anyway. I've been suspended so many times.
Speaker 1: I can't even count how many times I've been suspended.
Speaker 1: At this point, I guess I'm offensive. Headline. ATF decision
Speaker 1: could lead to the biggest gun registration turn in effort
Speaker 1: in American history. The ATF published a notice on Thursday
Speaker 1: that could require millions of a R fifteen pistols and
Speaker 1: similar firearms, which are designed with braces that strapped to
Speaker 1: a shooter's forearm, to either to be either registered, turned in, destroyed,
Speaker 1: or dismantled. But the standards laid out for determining the
Speaker 1: device's legalities, such as caliber or wait, provide no objective measures,
Speaker 1: and the agency said it may also use undisclosed factors
Speaker 1: to judge the legality of devices. This is happening under
Speaker 1: a Republican president. Donald Trump is still president. When I
Speaker 1: tell you, you're more surrounded by the system now than
Speaker 1: you have ever been before. You are the people who
Speaker 1: have infected every single part of our cultural institutions. They're
Speaker 1: only getting bolder and bolder and bolder and bolder. And
Speaker 1: Joe Biden, they can a stand in their way. Joe
Speaker 1: Biden in many cases, will encourage this kind of behavior.
Speaker 1: You're not taking anything of mine. I'm not registering it.
Speaker 1: I'm not destroying it. I'm not dismantling it. Screw you,
Speaker 1: and the more corrupt you people look, the less inclined
Speaker 1: I am to want you having better arms than I have.
Speaker 1: I don't trust any of you, scumbad none of you.
Speaker 1: None of you. What have you done to prove to
Speaker 1: be trustworthy? No? Atf No, I don't think I'll be
Speaker 1: doing that. Dear doctor Shogun steals sombrero Oracle? What Chris
Speaker 1: Oracle of the airwaves? Thinking about your conversation today, it
Speaker 1: was Thursday with Brandon Darby and had a question about
Speaker 1: what we should do about Mexico. Do you think, given
Speaker 1: that Mexico presents a legitimate threat to the US, that
Speaker 1: we would be justified in taking over Mexico, destroying their
Speaker 1: government in the narcos, and then working to develop their
Speaker 1: middle class and raising their poor. How would you do it?
Speaker 1: How do you handle the inevitable international backlash? Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: We are about to have a tough conversation here. I
Speaker 1: really meant what I said when I asked Brandon Darby
Speaker 1: about it. If you missed it. It's on yesterday's show.
Speaker 1: Every show's podcasted. Chris puts them up on iHeart, Google, Spotify.
Speaker 1: They're all on iTunes. Remember subscribe on iTunes, leave a
Speaker 1: five star rating, and leave a review discussing how handsome
Speaker 1: I am. But remember this, it's not normal to have
Speaker 1: such a failed state right on your border, especially when
Speaker 1: you're so megapowerful. It's not normal, and the history of
Speaker 1: mankind really, what the inevitable thing to do would be
Speaker 1: simply take it over. I personally see some problems with
Speaker 1: taking it over, but I'm not saying we shouldn't. Here's
Speaker 1: the main problem with taking it over. The main problem
Speaker 1: is not just the international backlash. That would suck and
Speaker 1: you'd have sanctions and stuff like that, but no one
Speaker 1: would really do anything, because no one really does anything
Speaker 1: to powerful nations. And we all talk about how against
Speaker 1: against human rights violations we are today. Really China's running
Speaker 1: concentration camps. Anybody advocating for war, anybody, one person, Nope,
Speaker 1: you only care about human rights violations if you can
Speaker 1: stomp on some less powerful nation to solve them. You're
Speaker 1: not actually going to risk lives over it. So it's
Speaker 1: not like they do anything significant. But if you take
Speaker 1: over Mexico, here's your problem. One. Have you seen Central America?
Speaker 1: If you take over Mexico, then your new border states
Speaker 1: are just failed states, just like Mexico was. So you're
Speaker 1: gonna keep going all right, now, you take over Central America.
Speaker 1: Everything looking well down in South America. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you've heard, they're having a tough time now there.
Speaker 1: You're gonna keep going and going and going until you've
Speaker 1: taken over all of them. So that's one, and that's
Speaker 1: a look, that's a real problem. Two. And again, I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I'm against taking over Mexico. I've long advocated
Speaker 1: for taking over Mexico because I love it so much.
Speaker 1: Great food, great beer, great beaches, good natural resources. The
Speaker 1: women are smoking hot. Mexico is awesome, good family values,
Speaker 1: I like. I love the place. But a takeover also
Speaker 1: means death a lot of it. See, these things are fun,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna make fun or we're gonna have fun
Speaker 1: with it here too. But these things are fun. But
Speaker 1: remember when we talk about stuff like that, it's more
Speaker 1: than just you putting up a post on Facebook or Twitter.
Speaker 1: It's more than an email. You want to stomp in
Speaker 1: with the military and takeover. People are gonna die. Innocent
Speaker 1: people are gonna die. You can say, just take out
Speaker 1: the government, dude, it's war. Collateral damage is a real thing.
Speaker 1: Are you to see some dead Mexican kid hauled out
Speaker 1: of a building that you carpet bombed. That's heavy, it did.
Speaker 1: I'm all about conquest. I believe it's the natural order
Speaker 1: of things, and frankly, taking over Mexico, I believe it
Speaker 1: would truly be the best thing for the Mexican people.
Speaker 1: I feel bad because I do love the Mexican people
Speaker 1: so much, and they're just getting crepped on constantly, either
Speaker 1: by the narcos or by the government or by the
Speaker 1: fact that they work together. That's just that's terrible. Man.
Speaker 1: You've heard Darby talk about it all the time. How
Speaker 1: horrible would this be. Cops are the assassins half the
Speaker 1: time for the cartels. They march in someplace and arrestue
Speaker 1: and then take you out and shoot you in the
Speaker 1: back of the head. That's terrible. Think about living under
Speaker 1: that with no gun rights either. The best thing in
Speaker 1: the world for the country as a whole would be
Speaker 1: us taking it over. It would be I just don't
Speaker 1: want people to lose sight of the fact that war
Speaker 1: is ugly and bloody and sad and a terrible, terrible thing.
Speaker 1: This is why I tell people this all the time.
Speaker 1: When you'll get people, especially now more and more, I
Speaker 1: want a civil war. Let's go ahead and let's just
Speaker 1: get in the streets and fight it out. I want
Speaker 1: a civil war, buddy. No you don't, No, you don't.
Speaker 1: You really don't want anybody getting hurt in that way.
Speaker 1: The goal should be either peace, either they lay down
Speaker 1: their arms and choose to leave us alone. Or the
Speaker 1: goal should be a divorce, an amicable national divorce. You
Speaker 1: go have your commie states, all have my free states.
Speaker 1: Everything will be fine. That should be the goal. I mean,
Speaker 1: all that said, everybody knows the best thing for the
Speaker 1: Mexican people would be us taking over the place. It
Speaker 1: would be make Mexico the fifty first state. And then
Speaker 1: it's Casadia time. Baby gosh, I'm starving now now I
Speaker 1: need Mexican food, Chris. I wish everybody understood the glory
Speaker 1: of Mexican food. I'll tell you, Mexican food is better
Speaker 1: than Italian food. Do you agree now? I wouldn't go
Speaker 1: that far Jewish producer Chris, let it be not. I
Speaker 1: did not say this. Jewish producer. Chris did said Italian
Speaker 1: food is discount Mexican food. Right now, there's some Italian
Speaker 1: woman hammering out an email to you, and you're going
Speaker 1: to get destroyed. Jack. Those Italian women too, they're full
Speaker 1: of fire and some facial here. I'll quit. We can
Speaker 1: make jokes. We have some more. Asked doctor Jesse questions, Say,
Speaker 1: on Doctor's trusted CBD company, you know how long they've
Speaker 1: been doing natural medicine over two decades. So when they
Speaker 1: say they researched the whole CBD industry and only sell
Speaker 1: the best, you can actually take that to the bank.
Speaker 1: These people know what they're doing and look natural medicines
Speaker 1: and holistic healing approaches. These things are known to alleviate
Speaker 1: things like sleeplessness, anxiety, joint pain. That's why I choose CBD.
Speaker 1: Let's let's be honest. None of us are getting any younger.
Speaker 1: And I'm the made in the USA thing because b
Speaker 1: best organics is made in the USA. Shouldn't we prioritize
Speaker 1: that now more? I mean, look around, shouldn't we prioritize
Speaker 1: American workers? American jobs now I know, I do don't
Speaker 1: see all their great products at Doctors Trusted CBD dot com.
Speaker 1: That's Doctors Trusted cbed dot com used to promo code
Speaker 1: Jesse that actually gets you five percent off and a
Speaker 1: free lip bomb. I just want to deal in fact
Speaker 1: because there is so much speculation out there and there
Speaker 1: is zero evidence that Hunter Biden or Joe Biden did
Speaker 1: anything wrong. Here we should note again you and I've
Speaker 1: said this in the air many times, there is no
Speaker 1: evidence that Joe Biden was, you know, involved in any
Speaker 1: wrong doing. Of course, I want to note that there
Speaker 1: is no evidence that Joe Biden or Hunter Biden has
Speaker 1: done anything wrong. I just want to reiterate, and let's
Speaker 1: be clear for the viewers. There is no evidence Biden
Speaker 1: did anything wrong. I'll not again because it's important. There
Speaker 1: is no I repeat no, there is no evidence that
Speaker 1: either Biden did anything illegal. There has been no evidence,
Speaker 1: there was no evidence, there's no evidence, there is no evidence.
Speaker 1: There's not an iota of evidenced anything wrong. There's really
Speaker 1: no evidence that Joe Biden did anything wrong. If nobody's
Speaker 1: ever accused that, I mean, there's no evidence whatsoever that
Speaker 1: Joe Biden did anything wrong. Got that Joe Biden did
Speaker 1: nothing wrong. Hunter Biden did nothing wrong. Biden's secret emails
Speaker 1: a really fishy story. The Post claimed that the emails
Speaker 1: were found on a laptop computer that was brought to
Speaker 1: a repair shop in Delaware in the spring of twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: The FBI is now investigating whether those alleged Hunter Biden
Speaker 1: emails are actually connected to a larger foreign intelligence operation.
Speaker 1: They may be related to a foreign intelligence operation, foreign
Speaker 1: intelligence operation, foreign intelligence, foreign intelligence, foreign intelligence operation. For
Speaker 1: all we know, these emails are made up. The information
Speaker 1: found on the laptop maybe part of a Russian disinformation campaign,
Speaker 1: part of a Russian disinformation effort, described by many intelligence
Speaker 1: experts as having hallmarks, all the hallmarks, rather all the
Speaker 1: hallmarks of a Russian for Russian Russian disinformation Russian disinformation,
Speaker 1: disinformation campaign. This is a classic example of the right
Speaker 1: wing media machine. Don't drag the intelligence community into this.
Speaker 1: Hunter Biden's laptop not part of some Russian disinformation campaign.
Speaker 1: The intelligence community doesn't believe that, because there's no intelligence
Speaker 1: that supports that. Never forget who brings you the news. Ever,
Speaker 1: forget who brings you the news. I swear doing the
Speaker 1: Jesse Kelly Show might be the most fun I've ever
Speaker 1: had in my entire life. I can't believe they let
Speaker 1: us just screw off all day Fridays. This is what
Speaker 1: this is what I asked, Doctor Jesse. Fridays have become
Speaker 1: eight seven seven three seven seven four three seven three
Speaker 1: Jesse at Jesse Kelly show dot Com asked, Doctor Jesse,
Speaker 1: Fridays have become something that we start looking forward to
Speaker 1: all week. You send in your questions all week, and
Speaker 1: we're banking them. I wake up a Thursday night when
Speaker 1: I'm done with the Thursday Show, I go home getting
Speaker 1: ready for Friday. I told the wife about it last night.
Speaker 1: I'm like Tomorrow's, asked Doctor Jesse Friday. All right, try
Speaker 1: to churn and burn these things, doctor Jesse, Will you
Speaker 1: indorse the plan to release hippos into the Louisiana Bayous
Speaker 1: in nineteen ten, also endorsed by Teddy Roosevelt, Frederick Russell Burnham,
Speaker 1: who was the inspiration for India Jones and the New
Speaker 1: York Times. They would have eaten. Invasive plants have been
Speaker 1: farmed for their meat, which apparently tastes like bacon with
Speaker 1: the consistency of beef beef. Oh my. The bill failed
Speaker 1: by one vote in the House, but with the showgun
Speaker 1: leading the charge, it would definitely pass this time. I'm
Speaker 1: going to offend a bunch of people right now, especially
Speaker 1: the animal rights people. I find softness towards animal plague
Speaker 1: problems to be ridiculous. And I'm not an animal like
Speaker 1: cruelty guy. I grew up hunting and fishing. You wound
Speaker 1: an animal, you hunt them down, you finish off the animal.
Speaker 1: I don't like animals suffering. These people. You know, you've
Speaker 1: see these people abusing dogs, throw them in a d
Speaker 1: dark cool I'm not. I'm not an animal Abu Scott,
Speaker 1: but I remember, I'll never forget it. There was this town.
Speaker 1: We did a story on it. Gosh, this must have
Speaker 1: been a year ago. There was this town and they
Speaker 1: were plagued, absolutely plagued by I believe they were peacocks,
Speaker 1: plagued by peacocks. The peacocks would peck at the cars,
Speaker 1: They're damaging property. Flocks and flocks and flocks of peacocks
Speaker 1: just assaulting these townspeople and their vehicles and their property.
Speaker 1: And I read the story and I was absolutely dumbfounded.
Speaker 1: Dumbfounded that we've become this soft or this helpless um.
Speaker 1: Go get a bunch of shotguns and kill all the
Speaker 1: peacocks if you like, if it makes you feel better
Speaker 1: about yourself, clean and dress the peacocks, and do a
Speaker 1: big bird giveaway to the homeless or something like that.
Speaker 1: Do a big peacock cookout. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: you can eat them. But what do you mean the
Speaker 1: town is plagued by peacocks? Do they have machine guns?
Speaker 1: Is there's some reason you can't hand to a peacock problem.
Speaker 1: If you have a hippo problem somewhere where hippos aren't
Speaker 1: supposed to be, line them up and shoot them in
Speaker 1: the forehead, dig up their meat, Like I said, feel
Speaker 1: free to feed the homeless or something like that with
Speaker 1: the meat. But I'm always floored by these animal problems
Speaker 1: and these idiotic activists who ruin everything. They did. This
Speaker 1: up in Montana when I was a kid, we used
Speaker 1: to go down to Yellowstone National Park. I was growing
Speaker 1: up in Montana and Yellowstone National Park was it was.
Speaker 1: It was unreal with the wildlife you would see. You
Speaker 1: would drive for hours to take hours to drive to
Speaker 1: Yellowstone and you go see Old Faithful and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But you would have to consistently stop for herds of
Speaker 1: buffalo to cross in front of you. You felt like
Speaker 1: you were in the Old West, elk and deer and
Speaker 1: just the most beautiful thing in the world from what
Speaker 1: I understand. Obviously, there's still plenty of wildlife, but it's
Speaker 1: a tiny fraction of what it used to be. Why
Speaker 1: because they chose to reintroduce wolves into the air and
Speaker 1: not let people hunt the wolves. Well, wolves are they're
Speaker 1: pretty much my favorite creature. But they are killing machines. Machines.
Speaker 1: They are highly, highly intelligent, highly coordinated pack animals. They
Speaker 1: can take down a full grown moose and do often.
Speaker 1: They are killing machines. They will wipe out entire herds
Speaker 1: because they'll go get all the kids and then the
Speaker 1: herd can't reproduce fast enough. They have destroyed whole animal
Speaker 1: populations out there, which is okay. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: mind the wolves doing something, but then you have to
Speaker 1: allow people to hunt them. We have this thing with animals,
Speaker 1: especially like we talked about yesterday, animals. People think you're
Speaker 1: cute animals, People like, I mean, you like wolves, don't
Speaker 1: you love wolves? I love wolves. I love them. What
Speaker 1: a beautiful, awesome creature. So the thought of killing one,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, you have to kill them. I don't
Speaker 1: understand why you need to do anything with the hippos.
Speaker 1: Shoot them in the head, all of them, and get
Speaker 1: rid of them. They're not native here. I don't understand
Speaker 1: why you have a peacock problem. It's a bird. Go
Speaker 1: blow its head off and eat it or throw it away.
Speaker 1: I don't care. You mean to tell me with all
Speaker 1: the advancements, we are getting taken over by birds, Come on,
Speaker 1: doctor Jesse. Would you rather wake up with two extra
Speaker 1: fully functional arms or an extra functional leg? And that's tough,
Speaker 1: I think. I think if he'd said two extra functional legs,
Speaker 1: I would have definitely gone that route. But I bet
Speaker 1: you that's why he didn't go, because you could run
Speaker 1: like the wind with four legs. You'd be what are
Speaker 1: those Greek things, Chris? Minotaur? Is that what I'm thinking of? Minotaur?
Speaker 1: Look up? Minutaur? I think that's what it is. Where
Speaker 1: you have the horse body and the man head. Look up,
Speaker 1: it's either minotaur or centaur. Whatever. One extra leg. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think of what good one extra leg would do.
Speaker 1: Maybe you could sit on it like you'd have a
Speaker 1: walking stool, but then it would have to come out
Speaker 1: like a tail. See the problem with the extra leg
Speaker 1: is it I've certainly I'm not going to be vulgar here,
Speaker 1: but you have to figure out where you want the
Speaker 1: extra leg. If it comes out the back, it looks
Speaker 1: like a tail. If you have the extra leg that
Speaker 1: comes out the front, that's going to promote some real
Speaker 1: awkward conversations out there. Everybody knows what I'm talking about, Jesse.
Speaker 1: I see you got an elephant tusk there. That's our
Speaker 1: elephant snout whatever they call that thing. You know, we're
Speaker 1: gonna move on from this. But at two extra arms,
Speaker 1: that would be kind of sweet, right If it would
Speaker 1: take you a long time though, to get mentally coordinated
Speaker 1: to use them all at once. No, it would it be.
Speaker 1: It would be awesome. You know where the two extra
Speaker 1: arms would really come into play. Not cooking, Chris, I'm married,
Speaker 1: doesn't do any good for me. Where two extra arms
Speaker 1: would come into play. Eating while you're driving, you could sit,
Speaker 1: you could order an entire meal and be totally safe.
Speaker 1: Eyes on the road, two hands on the wheel, and
Speaker 1: just be mowing you're jack in the box on the way. Gosh,
Speaker 1: now I want two arms. Dang it, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna try to turn through the rest of them. I
Speaker 1: missed out. Catch up Jesse Kelly show dot com. Wake
Speaker 1: up and text, Text and eat, Text and catch the bus,
Speaker 1: Text and miss your stop. Wait, Text and be late
Speaker 1: to work sorryly, Text and work, Text and pretend to work,
Speaker 1: Text and x surprised when someone calls you out for
Speaker 1: not working. Text and meet up with a friend you
Speaker 1: haven't seen in forever. Oh, Text and complain that they're
Speaker 1: on their phone the whole time. Text and listen to them,
Speaker 1: complain that you're on your phone the whole time. Text
Speaker 1: and whatever. But when you get behind the wheel, give
Speaker 1: your phone to a passenger, put it in the glove box.
Speaker 1: Just don't text and drive the said stop texts stop
Speaker 1: rex dot org. A public service announcement brought to you
Speaker 1: by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the ad Council.
Speaker 1: Remember that the people who get COVID face minimal challenges whatsoever.
Speaker 1: The only time we run into challenges is when we
Speaker 1: have hospital when we start running out of hospital beds.
Speaker 1: What this vaccine will be able to achieve is in
Speaker 1: the short run, be able to treat the types of
Speaker 1: patients who would be most likely to need a hospital
Speaker 1: bed and most likely to lose their lives. And so
Speaker 1: I think that you will see very significant results coming
Speaker 1: from that. Second. One thing that has been clearly apparent,
Speaker 1: and that is there's been no governmental leader anywhere who's
Speaker 1: been able to figure out how COVID works. One thing
Speaker 1: that we've seen, for example, is we've seen these massive
Speaker 1: shutdowns of businesses in California that have led to only
Speaker 1: a greater spike in the spread of COVID nineteen. California
Speaker 1: has some of the toughest shutdowns that we have in
Speaker 1: the United States of America, and yet they are skyrocket
Speaker 1: and leading the United States and the number of cases. Oftentimes,
Speaker 1: when you do have shutdowns, you have people going to homes,
Speaker 1: and one thing that we've learned now is that one
Speaker 1: of the places where COVID nineteen is spreading the fastest
Speaker 1: and causing the greatest problems is in the home setting.
Speaker 1: So the fact of the matter is it is time
Speaker 1: to put behind us shutdowns. No more shutdowns. We need
Speaker 1: to focus on opening up businesses. One thing that we
Speaker 1: know today is there. Every adult in the state of
Speaker 1: Texas knows exactly what COVID nineteen is. They know how
Speaker 1: to protect themselves from it, they know how to prevent
Speaker 1: spreading it. Every adult in Texas has the responsibility to
Speaker 1: follow the safe practices as we continue to work our
Speaker 1: way out of this. If they do that, we can
Speaker 1: contain COVID nineteen while we continue the process of vaccinating
Speaker 1: our fellow Texans and continue to open up. People's lives
Speaker 1: have been crushed, and their pocketbooks and their ability to
Speaker 1: pay the rent and put foot on the table has
Speaker 1: been harmed because of the shutdowns. And so no, we
Speaker 1: will not have any more shutdowns in Texas. I mean,
Speaker 1: credit where it's due to Governor Abbot, But where was that,
Speaker 1: like a year ago, eight months ago, nine months ago,
Speaker 1: where was that? I see, this is my problem. And
Speaker 1: I'm really not trying to just ride Governor Abbot or
Speaker 1: any other governor into the ground. But here's my problem.
Speaker 1: I see this so often from Republicans and it drives
Speaker 1: me absolutely up the wall. Where were you when it
Speaker 1: was tough to take that position? I know where I was.
Speaker 1: Everybody listening right now knows exactly where I was out
Speaker 1: there taking bullets for the cause back when it was
Speaker 1: real uncomfortable to be anti lockdown. Why do I have
Speaker 1: to wait for it to be easy for you to
Speaker 1: take the right position? Republicans constantly do this. They'll come
Speaker 1: to the right position as soon as it gets easy,
Speaker 1: and not before. That's not leadership, that's following. That's doing
Speaker 1: what everyone else is doing. If you look around and
Speaker 1: you're doing what everyone else is doing, you're not leading anything.
Speaker 1: Pal All right, hurry up, Chris, you don't have many left.
Speaker 1: I'm hurrying, dear doctor Jesse. Secession, secession, and shut up
Speaker 1: is an interesting topic to discuss and a welcome sight
Speaker 1: for many people on the right. If we were to
Speaker 1: secede from the Union, it wouldn't be long until Democrat
Speaker 1: states came crawling back to us, simply because how Democrats
Speaker 1: states can survive with little tax revenue. I'm assuming most
Speaker 1: Americans will want to live in a more free, tax
Speaker 1: friendly Republican states. Let me clarify something here. Don't fool
Speaker 1: yourself into thinking most Americans will want to live in
Speaker 1: a more free, tax friendly Republican place. You do. If
Speaker 1: you listen right now, if you're listening to my words,
Speaker 1: you probably do, and I do. What percentage of the
Speaker 1: country did you see pick up their stuff and go
Speaker 1: home as soon as the government told them to A
Speaker 1: high percentage, right, a high percentage. I'm dead serious about
Speaker 1: the American divorce thing. But don't fool yourself. There will
Speaker 1: be lots and lots of lots of Americans people you know,
Speaker 1: who will want to live in theirs. They will, they
Speaker 1: will want to live in theirs. That's just a fact.
Speaker 1: And they're not going to come crawling back. Leftists don't
Speaker 1: come crawling back and ask leftists take. Leftists take. That's
Speaker 1: the major That's the huge hang up with this whole thing.
Speaker 1: That is the huge hang up with it. The second
Speaker 1: we separate and settle down, if we're doing well, they're
Speaker 1: gonna look and think, who I want that? Let's go
Speaker 1: take that back. We're gonna want that. Do your supreme oracle,
Speaker 1: Kelly with the greatest sombrero in the land. I was wondering,
Speaker 1: what is the absolute worst thing you have ever eaten?
Speaker 1: Something so putrid and disgraceful that you could tell a
Speaker 1: ten minute story about it. I want to feel sick
Speaker 1: just from hearing it over the air. I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: gonna disappoint you. I'm not a gross food guy. If
Speaker 1: something looks or sounds gross, that doesn't fascinate me at all.
Speaker 1: Now I will do that with spicy food on occasion.
Speaker 1: I'm not a huge an old please melt my face off.
Speaker 1: But if you tell me, oh, be careful with this,
Speaker 1: it's really hot, that's gonna make me want to try
Speaker 1: it more. If you're oh, here, try some fried monkey balls,
Speaker 1: that's no good, I'm okay. They sell them up in
Speaker 1: Montana all the time. They're called Rocky Mountain oysters. They're
Speaker 1: cowballs that I'm not making that up. They are. They're cowballs,
Speaker 1: I swear, and people eat them up there. It's a delicacy,
Speaker 1: a dude, not, no, no, absolutely not. The grossest thing
Speaker 1: probably I've had, with the exception of vegetables of any kind,
Speaker 1: is in Thailand. We had to do this training is
Speaker 1: jungle welfare training. I'm not going to go into it
Speaker 1: right now, but we had to. They had this hideous,
Speaker 1: hideous thie hard liquor and they brought out this cobra
Speaker 1: hang on, I'll finish this, and just a said no
Speaker 1: word in English language is less convincing than probably are
Speaker 1: you sure, we should get matching tattoos on our first date. Sure,
Speaker 1: and we'll probably stay together. Probably. It's been twenty three
Speaker 1: minutes since I ate. I can probably swim. You should
Speaker 1: wait thirty minutes, okay, I don't tell me what to do.
Speaker 1: Candid cramp, Oh, I have a cramp. I can probably
Speaker 1: hit the green from here? Probably? Can I get a
Speaker 1: mulligan ready to go? Hey, are you sure you're okay
Speaker 1: to drive? Yeah? I'm pretty sober. Yeah, I'm probably okay.
Speaker 1: Probably okay. Isn't okay? Especially when it comes to drinking
Speaker 1: and driving. If you're drinking, call a cab, a car,
Speaker 1: or a friend. Buzz driving is drunk driving. A message
Speaker 1: brought to you by NITZA and AD Council. We do
Speaker 1: this training and tiling where you go out jungle training.
Speaker 1: Enough time to go into all of it today. But
Speaker 1: we did this training in Thailand and they had this
Speaker 1: disgusting taie liquor. I don't remember what it was. Maybe
Speaker 1: it was a whiskey of some kind. It was so gross,
Speaker 1: it was rancidly gross, and they had this ceremony. It
Speaker 1: was it was sacred to them where they would go
Speaker 1: out and they would bring this gigantic cobra, Yes, a
Speaker 1: real deadly cobra, and they would do the dance thing
Speaker 1: with it, only instead of like the snake charming dance,
Speaker 1: the guy would would would kind of dance around it
Speaker 1: and touch its head and push its head into the ground,
Speaker 1: and the cobra would would rear its head up. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was dangerous. And we're all in this gigantic circle
Speaker 1: watching him do it, and this is sacred ceremony to him.
Speaker 1: And finally at the end he traps the head down
Speaker 1: and chops its head off with a machete. They take
Speaker 1: the cobra blood and squirt the cobra blood into this disgusting,
Speaker 1: disgusting liquor and this gigantic jar, and they pass it around.
Speaker 1: You pass it around the circle, and all the warriors
Speaker 1: who are there drink at the top, eyes, the marines, everybody.
Speaker 1: There were men vomiting. It was we could all drink.
Speaker 1: There were men vomiting. It was the worst thing you've
Speaker 1: ever tasted in your life. All right, it was an
Speaker 1: app It was an awesome Ask doctor Jesse Friday, you'd
Speaker 1: be safe this weekend. Keep your chin up. That's all
Speaker 1: The Jesse Kelly Show on the Jordan Harbinger Show, You'll
Speaker 1: hear amazing stories from people that have lived them, from
Speaker 1: spies to CEO's, even an undercover agent who infiltrated the
Speaker 1: Gambino crime family. You're about to hear a preview of
Speaker 1: The Jordan Harbinger Show with Jack Garcia, who did just that.
Speaker 1: My career was twenty four out of twenty six years
Speaker 1: was solely dedicated working on the cover. I walk in,
Speaker 1: I'm in the bar. How there's a bar made? Dare
Speaker 1: good looking young lady see serving me? Joey, Hey, what
Speaker 1: would you like? I usually my frank was give me
Speaker 1: a kettle, one martini, three alarms, class of water on
Speaker 1: the side. I finished the drink, the guys come in.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go go in my pocket, take out the
Speaker 1: big water of money. Hey, am, I give her one
Speaker 1: hundred hours. If you're with the mob, I say, hey, Jordan,
Speaker 1: you're on record with us. That means we protect you.
Speaker 1: Nobody could shake you down. We could shake you down. Oh,
Speaker 1: you're on record with us. For more on how Jack
Speaker 1: became so trusted in the highest levels of the Gambino organization,
Speaker 1: check out episode three ninety two of the Jordan Harbinger
Speaker 1: Show