Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back
Speaker 1: with yet another podcast episode with your girl Jess Hilarious.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, where I Fix your mess.
Speaker 2: Y'all listen.
Speaker 1: I just want to give a special shout out to
Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club and be E T and Charlemagne and
Speaker 1: the Black Effect in.
Speaker 2: Our heart, all four of those entities.
Speaker 1: They are the reason, well not the whole reason, but
Speaker 1: a good part of the reason why I do keep
Speaker 1: coming back to do this shit every Wednesday, y'all. I
Speaker 1: want to let y'all know I love y'all, and I
Speaker 1: just I really really feel good, really really feel good.
Speaker 1: It's my first day at Breakfast Club, my first day
Speaker 1: of the weekend Breakfast Club. So my episode drops on
Speaker 1: a Wednesday, but this is a Monday, all right, and
Speaker 1: I just want to let y'all know the type of
Speaker 1: work day that I'm dealing with. I flew from Charlotte,
Speaker 1: North Carolina after a show last night. Right show was
Speaker 1: at six pm. We got off stage and finished the show.
Speaker 1: Everything was wrapped up around like eight thirty. Had to
Speaker 1: catch a nine fifty eight flight. I made the flight,
Speaker 1: got here, landed here in New York around like right
Speaker 1: before twelve o'clock. We bought it at nine fifty eight,
Speaker 1: so we took off around like ten something, landed twelve,
Speaker 1: didn't get to my hotel till one got right back
Speaker 1: up at four o'clock. That my makeup was here at
Speaker 1: the station at five point thirty to go on air
Speaker 1: at six am.
Speaker 2: I'm tired as hell.
Speaker 1: And then from six to ten we do breakfast club,
Speaker 1: we do whatever interviews that we have, and then now
Speaker 1: I'm in here recording, So I am literally running off
Speaker 1: of three hours of sleep.
Speaker 2: But I love y'all so much. I love what I do.
Speaker 2: I'm tired, but I still got energy. You understand what
Speaker 2: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So the motivation can also be adrenaline, Like, yeah, I'm tired, yeah,
Speaker 1: and I may not even sound like it, and shit,
Speaker 1: I really am. I'm not sleepy, I'm not drained though,
Speaker 1: I'm just tired. That's all so kay to say that
Speaker 1: you're tired, I'm not tired of y'all. I'm not tired
Speaker 1: of what I do.
Speaker 2: I'm actually very damn grateful, and I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: Keep on going and doing what I do. But I'm
Speaker 1: letting y'all know I do this shit for y'all. You
Speaker 1: found me, So we're gonna.
Speaker 2: Jump right in. Nobody sent in voice notes for this episode.
Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna read this long ass run on sentence.
Speaker 2: That's what it is.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it out. It is what it is, girl, Hi, Jess,
Speaker 1: I really need you to help with my mess. I
Speaker 1: wish to remain anonymous because I could catch a case
Speaker 1: about this one.
Speaker 2: Damn oh shit.
Speaker 1: So I guess I'll start off with the fact that
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty two year old female who's had really
Speaker 1: bad taste in men, and I find myself to be
Speaker 1: a little bit of a hopeless romantic. I mean, will
Speaker 1: you twenty two shit, I'm always falling in love with
Speaker 1: the idea of a man.
Speaker 2: Anyway.
Speaker 1: In February, I started a job working in the kitchen
Speaker 1: at the jail. Before starting this job, my mother and
Speaker 1: family all said, do not fall for anyone in there,
Speaker 1: meaning in the jail. I even had training informing me
Speaker 1: that a personal relationship with an inmate could result in
Speaker 1: a rape charge for me. Wow, whether it was consensual
Speaker 1: or not, y'all listen to that, don't y'all become CEOs
Speaker 1: and cafeteria ladies and these damn jails, and then y'all
Speaker 1: get caught fucking these inmates. That's a charge on y'all,
Speaker 1: whether it was consensual or not. Y'all can go down
Speaker 1: for raping these motherfuckers. Okay, even if y'all didn't rape
Speaker 1: these motherfuckers. All right, back to the story. So I
Speaker 1: start working, things are going fine. I immediately knew I
Speaker 1: was going to have to deal with some thirsties. Okay,
Speaker 1: so you must be a nice, little cute little girl,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Nice wholesome young lady, But
Speaker 1: nothing can truly prepare you for working with men who
Speaker 1: haven't had pussy in years. I had men saying they
Speaker 1: drink my bath water, sniffing me when they walk past.
Speaker 1: It was a lot, I must admit. But there was
Speaker 1: one that was different. They called him Bori for anyone
Speaker 1: that isn't Latino, that's short.
Speaker 2: For the Boriqua. Okay, okay, I said that right.
Speaker 1: I got my little Spanish down pack Boriqua, And at
Speaker 1: first I wasn't even looking at him that way at all.
Speaker 1: It just started with small conversation asking where I'm from.
Speaker 1: Talking about family, him helping me carry heavy things so
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have to struggle. The next thing, I know,
Speaker 1: every day we're talking more and more about life and God.
Speaker 2: Okay, I noticed.
Speaker 1: The disrespect from the other men eventually stopped as well.
Speaker 1: He would tell me how beautiful I was and how
Speaker 1: he just wanted to take care of me and do
Speaker 1: everything for me. Eventually my wall broke down and I
Speaker 1: started to develop feelings for the man who I was
Speaker 1: spending so much time around. So we started getting frisky.
Speaker 1: Hold on and the damn jail girl, So we started
Speaker 1: getting risky, she said, not frisky. I slipped him my number,
Speaker 1: He would slip me letters and pictures. We would sneak
Speaker 1: off into the freezer together. No, we didn't have sex.
Speaker 1: We started talking about a life together. When he got out,
Speaker 1: I was even looking for apartners and shit. And before
Speaker 1: you judge me, I'm going through a lot in life
Speaker 1: right now. Sometimes the unhealed part of me looks for
Speaker 1: something that can save me, or someone to come save me.
Speaker 1: After a while, words spread that we were messing around.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, girl, you know it's like the hood. It's
Speaker 1: the damn jail, old shit, the walls talk and the
Speaker 1: inmates do too, and sure enough, this information gets back
Speaker 1: to my manager. I'm not gonna say her name, but
Speaker 1: I will say this. She is one of the realest
Speaker 1: shorties I ever met. She sits me down and tells
Speaker 1: me she knows about me and body. I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: say buddy, me and Boddy that she really likes me.
Speaker 1: And that's why she was telling me. She thought it
Speaker 1: would be best if I quit. Damn that if the
Speaker 1: information got back to her, then word was spread beyond
Speaker 1: her into the CEOs and then they'd launch an investigation
Speaker 1: and I'd get arrested.
Speaker 2: So she was saving me.
Speaker 1: To avoid all of the mess, I just needed to quit,
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what I did. I came in one
Speaker 1: last day to tell Boddy to make sure he saves
Speaker 1: my number in a safe space, and I didn't go back.
Speaker 1: This was in the end of March, so having quit,
Speaker 1: I figured there was nothing more for me to lose.
Speaker 1: To look for him, So that's what I did. I
Speaker 1: looked for him on Facebook and found a couple pages.
Speaker 1: I looked through his friendless to see if I can
Speaker 1: find someone to pass a message to him. Also, he
Speaker 1: didn't call you Damn. I found this friend that he
Speaker 1: seemed to be very close with. I messaged the friend
Speaker 1: to see if they still keep in contact, and this
Speaker 1: man proceeds to tell me that him and buddy are together.
Speaker 2: That was his man.
Speaker 1: Oh, he asked me who I was and what I
Speaker 1: wanted with his boyfriend. Then I looked through his pictures
Speaker 1: and find a picture with them too hugged up with
Speaker 1: engagement rings.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: Needless to say, my heart was broke. I immediately got
Speaker 1: sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to process
Speaker 1: that information at all. So I just blocked the friend
Speaker 1: and the situation from my mind and just kept moving
Speaker 1: forward because now I got to figure out how to
Speaker 1: pay my bills since I was stupid and fucked up
Speaker 1: a state job with a pension and all that girl
Speaker 1: dumba's hell. Despite that, though, I still think of him
Speaker 1: all the time time and the way he made me feel,
Speaker 1: how soft and gentle he was with me. Maybe that
Speaker 1: was from him being gay, I don't fucking know, or
Speaker 1: just him knowing how to treat another human being.
Speaker 2: Girl. That don't have nothing to do with him being gay,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: But now he still calls me h and I answer
Speaker 1: from time to time because I want to hear his voice.
Speaker 1: Oh today I told him I knew about him and
Speaker 1: his boyfriend. Of course, he couldn't explain much due to
Speaker 1: where he is. But he claims that's his old life
Speaker 1: and he wants a new one, and how he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to lose me, how he'll answer whatever questions I have.
Speaker 1: Just give him a chance when he gets out. Oh
Speaker 1: hell no, you want me to wait for you to
Speaker 1: get out. I don't know when the hell that is.
Speaker 1: You want me to wait for you to get out
Speaker 1: to tell me that you ain't gay? No more, so
Speaker 1: you can answer all my questions about you being gay,
Speaker 1: some about this is your old life. Well, that nigga
Speaker 1: didn't say that when I hit him up to ask
Speaker 1: him about you. Y'all are fucking engaged, And what you
Speaker 1: did was you got your ass locked up, and that
Speaker 1: nigga's for you to come to fuck home, all right.
Speaker 1: A part of me wants that so bad, just to
Speaker 1: say fuck it and love him openly for who he is.
Speaker 1: Then there's that other part of me that thinks, what
Speaker 1: if he gets tired and wants to go back to
Speaker 1: dick Exactly? I'm not sure why I haven't completely checked
Speaker 1: out after finding out he was gay. I need to
Speaker 1: know how you would fix this mess. Am I delusional
Speaker 1: to want love so bad that I tried to love
Speaker 1: a gay man?
Speaker 2: Get back to me if you can. This shit got
Speaker 2: me fucked up?
Speaker 1: Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.
Speaker 1: But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 2: All right, bookie, But I do understand.
Speaker 1: I understand how you can be fucked up by a lot,
Speaker 1: because that was just a whole lot. All right, Now,
Speaker 1: let's go back to the beginning. Listen, you're twenty two
Speaker 1: years old. You're twenty two. You had a great job
Speaker 1: you did, I mean, I don't you know, considerably speaking.
Speaker 1: You know, you worked in a fucking jail, but you
Speaker 1: did have a pension. You mentioned, you mentioned that you
Speaker 1: loved the state job. I mean, obviously you didn't have
Speaker 1: anything bad to say about it other than you had
Speaker 1: to leave it due to a nigga. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: say a nigga. Aint gonna say a gay nigga because
Speaker 1: we don't even know if he's gay. He may be,
Speaker 1: by he obviously is not gay. You know, he's obviously bisexual,
Speaker 1: or he could be poly. I mean, we don't know
Speaker 1: when we get into all the sexual departments, but we don't.
Speaker 2: We don't know, all right.
Speaker 1: I'm also not gonna say what he made you feel
Speaker 1: has no regard. It's fake, it's bullshit, it's asinine to
Speaker 1: feel that way. I'm not going to say that because
Speaker 1: that's not true. I do believe that he developed feelings
Speaker 1: for you. I believe that he was and probably still
Speaker 1: is connected to that ex man, you know, his ex
Speaker 1: fiance or could still be his current fiance, And he
Speaker 1: still may be even battling with his sexuality.
Speaker 2: He may not know who the fuck he is. You
Speaker 2: understand what I'm saying. He may not. That's why I
Speaker 2: don't want to call him gay.
Speaker 1: We can't just say, oh, you're gay because you found
Speaker 1: out that he fucked with men. You know that he
Speaker 1: had a man that he was engaged to. He could
Speaker 1: still be very well bisexual. You know, we just don't know,
Speaker 1: so I don't want to put that on him altogether.
Speaker 1: I also don't think you're crazy for feeling the way
Speaker 1: you do. We can't control our feelings. We can't control
Speaker 1: who we love. If you love this man. I do
Speaker 1: understand that. I do think that you are young. I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say you don't know what love is,
Speaker 1: but you have a whole lot more life to live
Speaker 1: and a lot more to experience before you lock down
Speaker 1: with the guy.
Speaker 2: Who is in jail.
Speaker 1: You don't know when he's coming home, and he just
Speaker 1: expressed to you that he may be gay.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But he wants you to wait until he gets out
Speaker 1: for a full explanation.
Speaker 2: That's bullshit.
Speaker 1: That's the only part about it that is bullshit. And
Speaker 1: the craziest part about it is that you actually had
Speaker 1: to quit your job. You didn't quit because you wanted to.
Speaker 1: You quit because you had to, and you avoid it
Speaker 1: and arrest. Okay, I think your manager is a real
Speaker 1: one for coming, you know, coming to you before shit
Speaker 1: actually hit the fucking fan and telling you to get
Speaker 1: out of there.
Speaker 2: That was meaningful.
Speaker 1: That was somebody who understands and probably somebody who saw
Speaker 1: a situation like that before, you know, a young girl
Speaker 1: caught in a situation like that. I'm not gonna say
Speaker 1: that all men in jail are the same. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say that, but I am gonna say it's
Speaker 1: very easy to believe a dream that a man in
Speaker 1: jail will sell you. You understand what I'm saying. Not
Speaker 1: saying that this is your situation now, I'm talking in general.
Speaker 1: It's very easy to believe that because all they have
Speaker 1: to live by is dreams.
Speaker 2: Some of them don't even know when they're coming home.
Speaker 1: Some of them ain't even coming home, so all they
Speaker 1: have to do is hold on to dreams and memories
Speaker 1: and shit, you know, And sometimes their dreams become nightmares
Speaker 1: and shit because they don't know when they're coming home.
Speaker 1: They have to live in a fucking cage and look
Speaker 1: at four walls for the rest of their fucking lives
Speaker 1: or for a very long period of time, and be
Speaker 1: away from their friends and families. And like you said, pussy,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It is hard that you
Speaker 1: had to deal with the mental abuse, you know, the
Speaker 1: verbal abuse from all the other inmates hitting on you,
Speaker 1: telling you they drink your bad for it.
Speaker 2: I know it had to make you feel uncomfortable. And
Speaker 2: then you said you.
Speaker 1: Met buddy buddy Qua and you always sneaking to the
Speaker 1: free so much tryin hand sex.
Speaker 2: What the fuck y'all doing in the freezer.
Speaker 1: Then not y'all freezing, y'all damn asses off, and they're
Speaker 1: just talking and trembling.
Speaker 2: What the fuck y'all doing shit?
Speaker 1: Ain't no way you could add sexy they I know
Speaker 1: this dick can't get hard in the cold, A fucking
Speaker 1: freezer next to the chicken. Chiall listen, all jokes aside.
Speaker 1: I think, like I said, you're very young. Okay, make
Speaker 1: this a lesson. Learn you said he calls you, you
Speaker 1: still answer because you just want to hear his voice.
Speaker 1: Don't run from it. I'm not saying run from it.
Speaker 1: Just keep all your options open, honey. I can't tell you.
Speaker 1: I can't tell you. I can't tell you to be
Speaker 1: with a gay man. I can't tell you to not
Speaker 1: be with a bisexual man. I can't tell you to
Speaker 1: not fuck with him. And listen, it's all about your preference.
Speaker 1: You're still young, you don't know who the fuck you are.
Speaker 1: Probably so even if you're considering dealing with a bisexual man,
Speaker 1: that's not me judging you. That's your fucking preference. If
Speaker 1: that's what you prefer, you need to figure out what
Speaker 1: you want to do. You know, he said that's his
Speaker 1: old life. Do you believe him. Can you ungay have
Speaker 1: to being gay for so long? That's a real fucking question.
Speaker 2: Women do it? Why can't men do it?
Speaker 1: And then the flip side is, once your butthole been entered,
Speaker 1: how do you like go back to being a.
Speaker 2: Vergin of the butt? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And are you gay fever once you get your butt
Speaker 1: plugged up?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's just so many there's
Speaker 2: so many questions, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: We did have Andrew Carlweile bring him up every now
Speaker 1: and then he said that he's not gay anymore. He
Speaker 1: very well may not be, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: We don't know what that guy does. I mean, he
Speaker 1: still has you know, is this feminine ways or whatever?
Speaker 1: But that could still just be the last little bit.
Speaker 2: You know, coming out.
Speaker 1: You know, he probably got to get the last little
Speaker 1: bit out by twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2: He could sound like me, you know, he could sound
Speaker 2: like you know, James Earl Jones. We don't know, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. You probably don't. He probably don't.
Speaker 1: You know, he's getting the last little bit of gay out,
Speaker 1: you know, So we just don't know.
Speaker 2: And while it sounds like I'm playing. I'm being dead
Speaker 2: ass serious.
Speaker 1: All right, So I want you to, you know, reach
Speaker 1: out to body or well you can't reach out at
Speaker 1: the jail, you know, but don't reach out to no
Speaker 1: more his friends because then I feel like you're gonna
Speaker 1: find out some more shit.
Speaker 2: All right. I think you need to let him know.
Speaker 2: Write I'm a nice little letter.
Speaker 1: Let him know that you're conflicted on this, you know,
Speaker 1: be as open as you can, and tell him that
Speaker 1: you don't want to wait until he gets home for
Speaker 1: him to explain everything. You met him in there, and
Speaker 1: he still he owed you an explanation. Nigga, I lost
Speaker 1: my motherfucking job because I picked you, over risking my
Speaker 1: freedom I did in hindsight, I ultimately picked you. He
Speaker 1: knows you're young. I'm sure you didn't lie about your
Speaker 1: fucking age. He knows you're young. I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: he's trying to take advantage of you, but you are
Speaker 1: very impressionable.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: It took him a minute to knock down that wall,
Speaker 1: but he did. A nigga in jail knocked down the wall. Okay,
Speaker 1: you can have anybody on the outside your age. A
Speaker 1: couple of years old or whatever, without a record, without
Speaker 1: a boyfriend or you know, a fiance and without a
Speaker 1: past like that, and you chose Buddy again.
Speaker 2: It may sound like I'm judging you. I'm not.
Speaker 1: But sometimes you gotta hear shit repeated back to you
Speaker 1: so you can hear how unorthodox it sounds. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying situation is crazy. I'm not saying it's disgusting. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying any of that. I don't want you to
Speaker 1: get the wrong idea. I said unorthodox. It's a lot
Speaker 1: going on, a lot going on. You're too young for that.
Speaker 1: You should be working on your next fucking job, not
Speaker 1: working on buddy. And when a fuck he come home?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is he gonna give you? Is he
Speaker 1: backing up his promises with concrete details? Does he have
Speaker 1: a fucking plan? What is he doing in there now?
Speaker 1: And did you work in a jail or did you
Speaker 1: work in a prison that's different? Is he taking classes
Speaker 1: to better himself?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: What the fuck is he doing? What are his dreams?
Speaker 1: Did y'all get to know each other in the damn
Speaker 1: Did he tell you that in that freezer? What did
Speaker 1: he tell you he was cold freezing your ass? Off.
Speaker 2: He supposed to be on the damn floor with.
Speaker 1: The rest of the inmates and you playing in a
Speaker 1: freezer with buddy, girl. I think you need to go
Speaker 1: try to get your damn job back, or go to
Speaker 1: another damn jail and don't fall in love with no
Speaker 1: more fucking inmates.
Speaker 2: Girl. I mean that.
Speaker 1: No, they're not all the same, but that ain't where
Speaker 1: you want to get your man from.
Speaker 2: It's good men and that two.
Speaker 1: But let them come home, figure themselves out and find
Speaker 1: their women, or let them come home to people that's already.
Speaker 2: Waiting for them. I mean that. I mean that, even in.
Speaker 1: Your case, let them come home to who's waiting for
Speaker 1: them obviously, Okay, because dreams are still sold in jail. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: check back in with me because I want to know
Speaker 1: where you go from here. I would love for you
Speaker 1: to go get another job. You seem like you had
Speaker 1: your head on damn straight. But you know, we don't know,
Speaker 1: we don't know. I know you need to get it together.
Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back moving on. Hey, Jass, I
Speaker 1: have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years,
Speaker 1: but we both want different things. I want us to
Speaker 1: have our own place, but he wants to keep living
Speaker 1: with his dad.
Speaker 2: He's twenty one and I'm twenty. Damn girl, shit girl,
Speaker 2: probably ain't ready for all of that.
Speaker 1: Now, come on, what the hell are you talking about?
Speaker 1: First of all, your little hot ass, calm down. You
Speaker 1: ain't even twenty one yet. He's twenty one and you're twenty.
Speaker 1: Understand you want to move. Okay, you want to move
Speaker 1: with your boyfriend. Y'all been together for four years. Yeah so,
Speaker 1: y'all were together since sixteen seventeen. I understand, But you
Speaker 1: really truly don't know a person until you live with them.
Speaker 1: And now, honestly, I'm not trying to I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to control your life. But you got one more year
Speaker 1: until you make all these big decisions, and you got
Speaker 1: to live with them. You understand what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: think he's making a sensible decision. You act like he
Speaker 1: thirty one, forty one living with his dad. I know
Speaker 1: some people living with their parents that are older than
Speaker 1: I am, which I'm still not saying anything is wrong
Speaker 1: with I'm just saying it depends on your level of independence.
Speaker 1: If you want to be independent. It's some people parents
Speaker 1: don't want them to leave. Some people don't want to.
Speaker 2: Leave their parents.
Speaker 1: But when you have relationships and jobs and kids and
Speaker 1: all that type of shit, you want your own. And
Speaker 1: when you just are tired of living under someone else's roof,
Speaker 1: you want your own. But then you have people that
Speaker 1: stay at home as long as they can. Because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you something, it's hard to shit out here
Speaker 1: these days. Back in the day when I first moved out,
Speaker 1: yeah it was hard, but it wasn't nowhere near as
Speaker 1: hard as it is now. We're in a recession right now.
Speaker 1: And while it doesn't affect a lot of people, and
Speaker 1: why it doesn't look like why it doesn't look like
Speaker 1: it affects a lot of people, Oh it does.
Speaker 2: It's affecting a lot of fucking people. I went to
Speaker 2: this is a sidetrack, real quick.
Speaker 1: I want the chick for later other day, right, I
Speaker 1: order fool for me, my sister and my videographer. That
Speaker 1: shit came up to like thirty eight dollars and we
Speaker 1: didn't even get four meals.
Speaker 2: I was the only one who got a four meal.
Speaker 1: My sister got some nuggets, Megan cheese, and he got
Speaker 1: a salad and a milkshake or some shit. Thirty eight
Speaker 1: dollars forty dollars for three people to eat, and they
Speaker 1: weren't even full complete meals. It's a fucking struggle out here.
Speaker 1: That shit may sound like pennies to certain people. To
Speaker 1: other people, you ain't got it. It's hard feeding your
Speaker 1: fucking family. That's why so much crime, That's why niggas
Speaker 1: is hungry, robbing, stealing, fucking killing people and shit people
Speaker 1: are trying to make ways out of no way, you
Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. And then we have yellow ass
Speaker 1: that want to move out quick fast, in a hurry. Girl,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be right back. And I don't even like it.
Speaker 1: And I don't like saying this. I don't like seeming
Speaker 1: like I'm talking down But don't jump out there too
Speaker 1: fucking fast, Okay, don't at least wait until you're twenty one,
Speaker 1: and then let him take his time. If y'all been
Speaker 1: together for four years already, where he going? Do you
Speaker 1: see y'all going downhill? Is this a deal breaker for you?
Speaker 1: If y'all don't move together, you're gonna leave him?
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 1: It's all right, compromise and a relationship. Compromise, give him
Speaker 1: like a wager, you know, leverage. Let's meet in the middle, compromise.
Speaker 1: Say all right, Ben, you know how bad I want
Speaker 1: to move together. Since we can't do that right now,
Speaker 1: let's revisit this in another year, six months to a year,
Speaker 1: and let's see where you'll be by then. Or let's
Speaker 1: wait until my twenty first birthday and let's see where
Speaker 1: you'll be by then and we'll revisit it.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Don't just up and leave call it quits just because
Speaker 1: he's not trying to move together right now. He also
Speaker 1: could be scared. He could be nervous, His parents could
Speaker 1: be in his head. You ain't about to move with
Speaker 1: that girl. You know what I'm saying. You don't know,
Speaker 1: so I think it's a communication thing. Sit down and
Speaker 1: talk to him, but also compromise if you see it's
Speaker 1: really a problem. Don't ever pressure a man to do shit,
Speaker 1: just like I don't think we should.
Speaker 2: Be press sure to do anything.
Speaker 1: Never put pressure on a man, because when they feel pressure,
Speaker 1: they do shit like lie. They start telling you what
Speaker 1: you want to hear and they don't even mean it.
Speaker 1: Just to get from up under that pressure. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, they start to lie, they start
Speaker 1: to run, they start the cheat, they start to don't
Speaker 1: pressure him.
Speaker 2: Be upfront always. That's a tip that you could take
Speaker 2: for me. I'm thirty one.
Speaker 1: I still ain't got it all figured out relationship wise,
Speaker 1: but I think I'm doing pretty damn good because I've
Speaker 1: had some bad examples.
Speaker 2: To show me what not to do and what to
Speaker 2: watch out for.
Speaker 1: Well, actually I should call them good examples because I
Speaker 1: know the nigga right now was thinking them niggas a
Speaker 1: All right, well, listen, we come to the end of
Speaker 1: another Carefully Reckless episode where Jess is fixing your mess
Speaker 1: every Wednesday on The Black Effect. Thank you, I Heart
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Speaker 1: Reckless and then my deepest Pam voice name and.
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