WEBVTT - He's Your Man?!?! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:16.880 and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:20.000 with yet another podcast episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. 0:00:20.200 --> 0:00:23.080 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, where I Fix your mess. 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:24.200 Y'all listen. 0:00:24.280 --> 0:00:26.239 I just want to give a special shout out to 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.600 the Breakfast Club and be E T and Charlemagne and 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:29.440 the Black Effect in. 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:32.880 Our heart, all four of those entities. 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:36.760 They are the reason, well not the whole reason, but 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:40.360 a good part of the reason why I do keep 0:00:40.400 --> 0:00:42.479 coming back to do this shit every Wednesday, y'all. I 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:44.360 want to let y'all know I love y'all, and I 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:46.599 just I really really feel good, really really feel good. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:48.400 It's my first day at Breakfast Club, my first day 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:51.000 of the weekend Breakfast Club. So my episode drops on 0:00:51.040 --> 0:00:53.880 a Wednesday, but this is a Monday, all right, and 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:55.760 I just want to let y'all know the type of 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:59.720 work day that I'm dealing with. I flew from Charlotte, 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:04.120 North Carolina after a show last night. Right show was 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:06.520 at six pm. We got off stage and finished the show. 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:09.160 Everything was wrapped up around like eight thirty. Had to 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:12.600 catch a nine fifty eight flight. I made the flight, 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:17.000 got here, landed here in New York around like right 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.880 before twelve o'clock. We bought it at nine fifty eight, 0:01:19.959 --> 0:01:23.320 so we took off around like ten something, landed twelve, 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:26.039 didn't get to my hotel till one got right back 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:29.240 up at four o'clock. That my makeup was here at 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.759 the station at five point thirty to go on air 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:32.720 at six am. 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:34.040 I'm tired as hell. 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:37.520 And then from six to ten we do breakfast club, 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:40.479 we do whatever interviews that we have, and then now 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.399 I'm in here recording, So I am literally running off 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:44.600 of three hours of sleep. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:46.679 But I love y'all so much. I love what I do. 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.040 I'm tired, but I still got energy. You understand what 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:49.440 I'm saying. 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:54.880 So the motivation can also be adrenaline, Like, yeah, I'm tired, yeah, 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:56.720 and I may not even sound like it, and shit, 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:00.000 I really am. I'm not sleepy, I'm not drained though, 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:02.600 I'm just tired. That's all so kay to say that 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:04.520 you're tired, I'm not tired of y'all. I'm not tired 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:04.960 of what I do. 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.200 I'm actually very damn grateful, and I'm gonna. 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.720 Keep on going and doing what I do. But I'm 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.040 letting y'all know I do this shit for y'all. You 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:13.320 found me, So we're gonna. 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:16.519 Jump right in. Nobody sent in voice notes for this episode. 0:02:16.560 --> 0:02:20.160 So I'm just gonna read this long ass run on sentence. 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:20.840 That's what it is. 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:24.200 I'm gonna call it out. It is what it is, girl, Hi, Jess, 0:02:24.240 --> 0:02:26.600 I really need you to help with my mess. I 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.200 wish to remain anonymous because I could catch a case 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:30.040 about this one. 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:31.080 Damn oh shit. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:33.800 So I guess I'll start off with the fact that 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.440 I'm a twenty two year old female who's had really 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.960 bad taste in men, and I find myself to be 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:41.120 a little bit of a hopeless romantic. I mean, will 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.720 you twenty two shit, I'm always falling in love with 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:46.200 the idea of a man. 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:46.800 Anyway. 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:49.560 In February, I started a job working in the kitchen 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.280 at the jail. Before starting this job, my mother and 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:55.760 family all said, do not fall for anyone in there, 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:59.120 meaning in the jail. I even had training informing me 0:02:59.720 --> 0:03:02.960 that a personal relationship with an inmate could result in 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:06.639 a rape charge for me. Wow, whether it was consensual 0:03:06.720 --> 0:03:09.800 or not, y'all listen to that, don't y'all become CEOs 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.840 and cafeteria ladies and these damn jails, and then y'all 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:15.919 get caught fucking these inmates. That's a charge on y'all, 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:18.359 whether it was consensual or not. Y'all can go down 0:03:18.400 --> 0:03:21.519 for raping these motherfuckers. Okay, even if y'all didn't rape 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:24.520 these motherfuckers. All right, back to the story. So I 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.680 start working, things are going fine. I immediately knew I 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.160 was going to have to deal with some thirsties. Okay, 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.000 so you must be a nice, little cute little girl, 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:34.880 you know what I'm saying. Nice wholesome young lady, But 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.800 nothing can truly prepare you for working with men who 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.960 haven't had pussy in years. I had men saying they 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.720 drink my bath water, sniffing me when they walk past. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:45.880 It was a lot, I must admit. But there was 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.120 one that was different. They called him Bori for anyone 0:03:49.160 --> 0:03:51.400 that isn't Latino, that's short. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:53.320 For the Boriqua. Okay, okay, I said that right. 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.960 I got my little Spanish down pack Boriqua, And at 0:03:57.000 --> 0:03:59.480 first I wasn't even looking at him that way at all. 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:02.960 It just started with small conversation asking where I'm from. 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:06.040 Talking about family, him helping me carry heavy things so 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:08.800 I wouldn't have to struggle. The next thing, I know, 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:12.280 every day we're talking more and more about life and God. 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:14.600 Okay, I noticed. 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:17.320 The disrespect from the other men eventually stopped as well. 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:19.840 He would tell me how beautiful I was and how 0:04:19.880 --> 0:04:21.560 he just wanted to take care of me and do 0:04:21.640 --> 0:04:24.880 everything for me. Eventually my wall broke down and I 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:27.400 started to develop feelings for the man who I was 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:31.400 spending so much time around. So we started getting frisky. 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:36.000 Hold on and the damn jail girl, So we started 0:04:36.000 --> 0:04:39.400 getting risky, she said, not frisky. I slipped him my number, 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.479 He would slip me letters and pictures. We would sneak 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.120 off into the freezer together. No, we didn't have sex. 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.039 We started talking about a life together. When he got out, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.960 I was even looking for apartners and shit. And before 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.000 you judge me, I'm going through a lot in life 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:55.359 right now. Sometimes the unhealed part of me looks for 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.719 something that can save me, or someone to come save me. 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:02.479 After a while, words spread that we were messing around. 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.560 Oh shit, girl, you know it's like the hood. It's 0:05:04.560 --> 0:05:07.200 the damn jail, old shit, the walls talk and the 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:10.680 inmates do too, and sure enough, this information gets back 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:12.960 to my manager. I'm not gonna say her name, but 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.120 I will say this. She is one of the realest 0:05:15.120 --> 0:05:17.760 shorties I ever met. She sits me down and tells 0:05:17.800 --> 0:05:20.240 me she knows about me and body. I'm gonna just 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:23.680 say buddy, me and Boddy that she really likes me. 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:25.960 And that's why she was telling me. She thought it 0:05:25.960 --> 0:05:29.800 would be best if I quit. Damn that if the 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:33.240 information got back to her, then word was spread beyond 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:37.279 her into the CEOs and then they'd launch an investigation 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:38.520 and I'd get arrested. 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:39.960 So she was saving me. 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:42.760 To avoid all of the mess, I just needed to quit, 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.920 and that's exactly what I did. I came in one 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:48.960 last day to tell Boddy to make sure he saves 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:51.719 my number in a safe space, and I didn't go back. 0:05:52.160 --> 0:05:54.840 This was in the end of March, so having quit, 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:57.159 I figured there was nothing more for me to lose. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:05:59.320 To look for him, So that's what I did. I 0:05:59.360 --> 0:06:02.240 looked for him on Facebook and found a couple pages. 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:05.000 I looked through his friendless to see if I can 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.160 find someone to pass a message to him. Also, he 0:06:08.200 --> 0:06:11.159 didn't call you Damn. I found this friend that he 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:13.760 seemed to be very close with. I messaged the friend 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.720 to see if they still keep in contact, and this 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:20.280 man proceeds to tell me that him and buddy are together. 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:24.440 That was his man. 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:27.880 Oh, he asked me who I was and what I 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.960 wanted with his boyfriend. Then I looked through his pictures 0:06:31.000 --> 0:06:33.159 and find a picture with them too hugged up with 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:34.320 engagement rings. 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:35.120 Damn. 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:39.520 Needless to say, my heart was broke. I immediately got 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.760 sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to process 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.640 that information at all. So I just blocked the friend 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:47.480 and the situation from my mind and just kept moving 0:06:47.560 --> 0:06:50.359 forward because now I got to figure out how to 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.080 pay my bills since I was stupid and fucked up 0:06:53.120 --> 0:06:56.000 a state job with a pension and all that girl 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.560 dumba's hell. Despite that, though, I still think of him 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:01.880 all the time time and the way he made me feel, 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.640 how soft and gentle he was with me. Maybe that 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:08.320 was from him being gay, I don't fucking know, or 0:07:08.480 --> 0:07:10.960 just him knowing how to treat another human being. 0:07:11.040 --> 0:07:13.640 Girl. That don't have nothing to do with him being gay, 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:14.120 you know. 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:18.040 But now he still calls me h and I answer 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:20.560 from time to time because I want to hear his voice. 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:24.280 Oh today I told him I knew about him and 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:27.280 his boyfriend. Of course, he couldn't explain much due to 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:30.400 where he is. But he claims that's his old life 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:33.000 and he wants a new one, and how he doesn't 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:36.240 want to lose me, how he'll answer whatever questions I have. 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:38.360 Just give him a chance when he gets out. Oh 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.320 hell no, you want me to wait for you to 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:42.160 get out. I don't know when the hell that is. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.440 You want me to wait for you to get out 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:47.240 to tell me that you ain't gay? No more, so 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:50.440 you can answer all my questions about you being gay, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:52.800 some about this is your old life. Well, that nigga 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:54.720 didn't say that when I hit him up to ask 0:07:54.800 --> 0:07:57.360 him about you. Y'all are fucking engaged, And what you 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.440 did was you got your ass locked up, and that 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.320 nigga's for you to come to fuck home, all right. 0:08:03.160 --> 0:08:05.480 A part of me wants that so bad, just to 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:07.640 say fuck it and love him openly for who he is. 0:08:08.080 --> 0:08:10.120 Then there's that other part of me that thinks, what 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:12.320 if he gets tired and wants to go back to 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:16.160 dick Exactly? I'm not sure why I haven't completely checked 0:08:16.160 --> 0:08:18.920 out after finding out he was gay. I need to 0:08:19.000 --> 0:08:21.960 know how you would fix this mess. Am I delusional 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:24.560 to want love so bad that I tried to love 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:25.160 a gay man? 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:27.680 Get back to me if you can. This shit got 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:28.400 me fucked up? 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:30.800 Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good. 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.120 But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:34.559 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.080 All right, bookie, But I do understand. 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:38.880 I understand how you can be fucked up by a lot, 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:41.360 because that was just a whole lot. All right, Now, 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:43.920 let's go back to the beginning. Listen, you're twenty two 0:08:44.000 --> 0:08:46.520 years old. You're twenty two. You had a great job 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:49.480 you did, I mean, I don't you know, considerably speaking. 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:51.360 You know, you worked in a fucking jail, but you 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:53.640 did have a pension. You mentioned, you mentioned that you 0:08:53.720 --> 0:08:55.439 loved the state job. I mean, obviously you didn't have 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:58.000 anything bad to say about it other than you had 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:00.680 to leave it due to a nigga. I'm just gonna 0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:02.680 say a nigga. Aint gonna say a gay nigga because 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:04.040 we don't even know if he's gay. He may be, 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:08.640 by he obviously is not gay. You know, he's obviously bisexual, 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.200 or he could be poly. I mean, we don't know 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:14.080 when we get into all the sexual departments, but we don't. 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:15.280 We don't know, all right. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.640 I'm also not gonna say what he made you feel 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:22.600 has no regard. It's fake, it's bullshit, it's asinine to 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:25.240 feel that way. I'm not going to say that because 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.240 that's not true. I do believe that he developed feelings 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.480 for you. I believe that he was and probably still 0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:34.120 is connected to that ex man, you know, his ex 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.800 fiance or could still be his current fiance, And he 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.199 still may be even battling with his sexuality. 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.040 He may not know who the fuck he is. You 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:43.959 understand what I'm saying. He may not. That's why I 0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:44.960 don't want to call him gay. 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:48.400 We can't just say, oh, you're gay because you found 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:50.360 out that he fucked with men. You know that he 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.800 had a man that he was engaged to. He could 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:55.800 still be very well bisexual. You know, we just don't know, 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:58.120 so I don't want to put that on him altogether. 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:01.760 I also don't think you're crazy for feeling the way 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:03.840 you do. We can't control our feelings. We can't control 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.280 who we love. If you love this man. I do 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:10.600 understand that. I do think that you are young. I'm 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.200 not going to say you don't know what love is, 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:15.480 but you have a whole lot more life to live 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.600 and a lot more to experience before you lock down 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:21.000 with the guy. 0:10:20.920 --> 0:10:21.920 Who is in jail. 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:23.800 You don't know when he's coming home, and he just 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.959 expressed to you that he may be gay. 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:27.079 You know what I'm saying. 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.280 But he wants you to wait until he gets out 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:31.800 for a full explanation. 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:33.439 That's bullshit. 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:37.080 That's the only part about it that is bullshit. And 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:40.920 the craziest part about it is that you actually had 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.880 to quit your job. You didn't quit because you wanted to. 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.040 You quit because you had to, and you avoid it 0:10:45.080 --> 0:10:48.440 and arrest. Okay, I think your manager is a real 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:52.040 one for coming, you know, coming to you before shit 0:10:52.200 --> 0:10:55.720 actually hit the fucking fan and telling you to get 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:56.120 out of there. 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:57.000 That was meaningful. 0:10:57.080 --> 0:11:00.200 That was somebody who understands and probably somebody who saw 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.080 a situation like that before, you know, a young girl 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.439 caught in a situation like that. I'm not gonna say 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.319 that all men in jail are the same. I'm not 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:09.559 going to say that, but I am gonna say it's 0:11:09.679 --> 0:11:12.679 very easy to believe a dream that a man in 0:11:12.800 --> 0:11:15.120 jail will sell you. You understand what I'm saying. Not 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:17.920 saying that this is your situation now, I'm talking in general. 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.920 It's very easy to believe that because all they have 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:22.079 to live by is dreams. 0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:24.360 Some of them don't even know when they're coming home. 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.280 Some of them ain't even coming home, so all they 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:29.360 have to do is hold on to dreams and memories 0:11:29.360 --> 0:11:32.520 and shit, you know, And sometimes their dreams become nightmares 0:11:32.559 --> 0:11:34.520 and shit because they don't know when they're coming home. 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:37.600 They have to live in a fucking cage and look 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:39.560 at four walls for the rest of their fucking lives 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.960 or for a very long period of time, and be 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:44.680 away from their friends and families. And like you said, pussy, 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:47.400 you know what I'm saying. It is hard that you 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.280 had to deal with the mental abuse, you know, the 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:53.040 verbal abuse from all the other inmates hitting on you, 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:54.400 telling you they drink your bad for it. 0:11:54.440 --> 0:11:56.080 I know it had to make you feel uncomfortable. And 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:56.839 then you said you. 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.760 Met buddy buddy Qua and you always sneaking to the 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:01.600 free so much tryin hand sex. 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:02.960 What the fuck y'all doing in the freezer. 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:05.760 Then not y'all freezing, y'all damn asses off, and they're 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:06.880 just talking and trembling. 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:09.040 What the fuck y'all doing shit? 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:10.600 Ain't no way you could add sexy they I know 0:12:10.600 --> 0:12:13.080 this dick can't get hard in the cold, A fucking 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:17.440 freezer next to the chicken. Chiall listen, all jokes aside. 0:12:17.520 --> 0:12:21.439 I think, like I said, you're very young. Okay, make 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:24.280 this a lesson. Learn you said he calls you, you 0:12:24.400 --> 0:12:26.800 still answer because you just want to hear his voice. 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:29.640 Don't run from it. I'm not saying run from it. 0:12:29.760 --> 0:12:32.679 Just keep all your options open, honey. I can't tell you. 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.760 I can't tell you. I can't tell you to be 0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:38.720 with a gay man. I can't tell you to not 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.400 be with a bisexual man. I can't tell you to 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.040 not fuck with him. And listen, it's all about your preference. 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:45.840 You're still young, you don't know who the fuck you are. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.439 Probably so even if you're considering dealing with a bisexual man, 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:52.720 that's not me judging you. That's your fucking preference. If 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.080 that's what you prefer, you need to figure out what 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.040 you want to do. You know, he said that's his 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:00.079 old life. Do you believe him. Can you ungay have 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.920 to being gay for so long? That's a real fucking question. 0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:05.320 Women do it? Why can't men do it? 0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.800 And then the flip side is, once your butthole been entered, 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.800 how do you like go back to being a. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:13.800 Vergin of the butt? You know what I mean? 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:17.240 And are you gay fever once you get your butt 0:13:17.280 --> 0:13:17.800 plugged up? 0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:20.080 You know what I'm saying. It's just so many there's 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:21.720 so many questions, you know what I'm saying. 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:23.840 We did have Andrew Carlweile bring him up every now 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.680 and then he said that he's not gay anymore. He 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.440 very well may not be, you know what I'm saying. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:30.760 We don't know what that guy does. I mean, he 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:33.319 still has you know, is this feminine ways or whatever? 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.400 But that could still just be the last little bit. 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:38.000 You know, coming out. 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:40.360 You know, he probably got to get the last little 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:41.880 bit out by twenty twenty five. 0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:45.000 He could sound like me, you know, he could sound 0:13:45.480 --> 0:13:48.720 like you know, James Earl Jones. We don't know, you 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.280 know what I mean. You probably don't. He probably don't. 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.080 You know, he's getting the last little bit of gay out, 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:56.120 you know, So we just don't know. 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:58.640 And while it sounds like I'm playing. I'm being dead 0:13:58.679 --> 0:13:59.319 ass serious. 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.400 All right, So I want you to, you know, reach 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.960 out to body or well you can't reach out at 0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.480 the jail, you know, but don't reach out to no 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:09.720 more his friends because then I feel like you're gonna 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:10.680 find out some more shit. 0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:12.600 All right. I think you need to let him know. 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:13.840 Write I'm a nice little letter. 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.240 Let him know that you're conflicted on this, you know, 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:18.400 be as open as you can, and tell him that 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:19.960 you don't want to wait until he gets home for 0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:23.240 him to explain everything. You met him in there, and 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.920 he still he owed you an explanation. Nigga, I lost 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:30.480 my motherfucking job because I picked you, over risking my 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:34.480 freedom I did in hindsight, I ultimately picked you. He 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.240 knows you're young. I'm sure you didn't lie about your 0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:40.840 fucking age. He knows you're young. I'm not saying that 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:42.880 he's trying to take advantage of you, but you are 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:43.920 very impressionable. 0:14:44.360 --> 0:14:44.680 Okay. 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.320 It took him a minute to knock down that wall, 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:50.600 but he did. A nigga in jail knocked down the wall. Okay, 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:53.920 you can have anybody on the outside your age. A 0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:56.680 couple of years old or whatever, without a record, without 0:14:57.000 --> 0:15:01.440 a boyfriend or you know, a fiance and without a 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:06.320 past like that, and you chose Buddy again. 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.920 It may sound like I'm judging you. I'm not. 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:12.520 But sometimes you gotta hear shit repeated back to you 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:16.160 so you can hear how unorthodox it sounds. I'm not 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:19.600 saying situation is crazy. I'm not saying it's disgusting. I'm 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:20.880 not saying any of that. I don't want you to 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.120 get the wrong idea. I said unorthodox. It's a lot 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.440 going on, a lot going on. You're too young for that. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.800 You should be working on your next fucking job, not 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.320 working on buddy. And when a fuck he come home? 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:34.920 What the fuck is he gonna give you? Is he 0:15:35.000 --> 0:15:38.200 backing up his promises with concrete details? Does he have 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.000 a fucking plan? What is he doing in there now? 0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:42.200 And did you work in a jail or did you 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:45.240 work in a prison that's different? Is he taking classes 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:46.000 to better himself? 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:46.120 Like? 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.440 What the fuck is he doing? What are his dreams? 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:50.440 Did y'all get to know each other in the damn 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:52.600 Did he tell you that in that freezer? What did 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:54.560 he tell you he was cold freezing your ass? Off. 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:56.240 He supposed to be on the damn floor with. 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:58.720 The rest of the inmates and you playing in a 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:02.520 freezer with buddy, girl. I think you need to go 0:16:02.560 --> 0:16:04.360 try to get your damn job back, or go to 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.280 another damn jail and don't fall in love with no 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:07.360 more fucking inmates. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:08.760 Girl. I mean that. 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:10.560 No, they're not all the same, but that ain't where 0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:12.440 you want to get your man from. 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:14.000 It's good men and that two. 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:17.320 But let them come home, figure themselves out and find 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:20.960 their women, or let them come home to people that's already. 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.600 Waiting for them. I mean that. I mean that, even in. 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:27.440 Your case, let them come home to who's waiting for 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:34.600 them obviously, Okay, because dreams are still sold in jail. Okay, Okay, 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:36.960 check back in with me because I want to know 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:39.160 where you go from here. I would love for you 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:41.360 to go get another job. You seem like you had 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:45.760 your head on damn straight. But you know, we don't know, 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:47.600 we don't know. I know you need to get it together. 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.760 If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:54.560 then we'll be right back moving on. Hey, Jass, I 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.640 have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years, 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:59.560 but we both want different things. I want us to 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:02.080 have our own place, but he wants to keep living 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:02.760 with his dad. 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:08.040 He's twenty one and I'm twenty. Damn girl, shit girl, 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:09.679 probably ain't ready for all of that. 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.080 Now, come on, what the hell are you talking about? 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.240 First of all, your little hot ass, calm down. You 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:19.159 ain't even twenty one yet. He's twenty one and you're twenty. 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.200 Understand you want to move. Okay, you want to move 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.480 with your boyfriend. Y'all been together for four years. Yeah so, 0:17:25.560 --> 0:17:30.560 y'all were together since sixteen seventeen. I understand, But you 0:17:30.640 --> 0:17:32.880 really truly don't know a person until you live with them. 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:36.440