1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,159 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: and The Black Effect. And just like that, we're back 3 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: with yet another podcast episode with your girl Jess Hilarious. 4 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,080 Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, where I Fix your mess. 5 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: Y'all listen. 6 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,239 Speaker 1: I just want to give a special shout out to 7 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:28,600 Speaker 1: the Breakfast Club and be E T and Charlemagne and 8 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: the Black Effect in. 9 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 2: Our heart, all four of those entities. 10 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: They are the reason, well not the whole reason, but 11 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: a good part of the reason why I do keep 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,479 Speaker 1: coming back to do this shit every Wednesday, y'all. I 13 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 1: want to let y'all know I love y'all, and I 14 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,599 Speaker 1: just I really really feel good, really really feel good. 15 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: It's my first day at Breakfast Club, my first day 16 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: of the weekend Breakfast Club. So my episode drops on 17 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: a Wednesday, but this is a Monday, all right, and 18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 1: I just want to let y'all know the type of 19 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,720 Speaker 1: work day that I'm dealing with. I flew from Charlotte, 20 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: North Carolina after a show last night. Right show was 21 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: at six pm. We got off stage and finished the show. 22 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: Everything was wrapped up around like eight thirty. Had to 23 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: catch a nine fifty eight flight. I made the flight, 24 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: got here, landed here in New York around like right 25 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: before twelve o'clock. We bought it at nine fifty eight, 26 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,320 Speaker 1: so we took off around like ten something, landed twelve, 27 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: didn't get to my hotel till one got right back 28 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: up at four o'clock. That my makeup was here at 29 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 1: the station at five point thirty to go on air 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: at six am. 31 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 2: I'm tired as hell. 32 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,520 Speaker 1: And then from six to ten we do breakfast club, 33 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,479 Speaker 1: we do whatever interviews that we have, and then now 34 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:43,399 Speaker 1: I'm in here recording, So I am literally running off 35 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: of three hours of sleep. 36 00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 2: But I love y'all so much. I love what I do. 37 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 2: I'm tired, but I still got energy. You understand what 38 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 2: I'm saying. 39 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: So the motivation can also be adrenaline, Like, yeah, I'm tired, yeah, 40 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: and I may not even sound like it, and shit, 41 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:00,000 Speaker 1: I really am. I'm not sleepy, I'm not drained though, 42 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: I'm just tired. That's all so kay to say that 43 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: you're tired, I'm not tired of y'all. I'm not tired 44 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: of what I do. 45 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 2: I'm actually very damn grateful, and I'm gonna. 46 00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: Keep on going and doing what I do. But I'm 47 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: letting y'all know I do this shit for y'all. You 48 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: found me, So we're gonna. 49 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,519 Speaker 2: Jump right in. Nobody sent in voice notes for this episode. 50 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 2: So I'm just gonna read this long ass run on sentence. 51 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 2: That's what it is. 52 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it out. It is what it is, girl, Hi, Jess, 53 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 1: I really need you to help with my mess. I 54 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: wish to remain anonymous because I could catch a case 55 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: about this one. 56 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,080 Speaker 2: Damn oh shit. 57 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,800 Speaker 1: So I guess I'll start off with the fact that 58 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: I'm a twenty two year old female who's had really 59 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: bad taste in men, and I find myself to be 60 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 1: a little bit of a hopeless romantic. I mean, will 61 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: you twenty two shit, I'm always falling in love with 62 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: the idea of a man. 63 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 2: Anyway. 64 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 1: In February, I started a job working in the kitchen 65 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: at the jail. Before starting this job, my mother and 66 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: family all said, do not fall for anyone in there, 67 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: meaning in the jail. I even had training informing me 68 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: that a personal relationship with an inmate could result in 69 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: a rape charge for me. Wow, whether it was consensual 70 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: or not, y'all listen to that, don't y'all become CEOs 71 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: and cafeteria ladies and these damn jails, and then y'all 72 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,919 Speaker 1: get caught fucking these inmates. That's a charge on y'all, 73 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 1: whether it was consensual or not. Y'all can go down 74 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,519 Speaker 1: for raping these motherfuckers. Okay, even if y'all didn't rape 75 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: these motherfuckers. All right, back to the story. So I 76 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:27,680 Speaker 1: start working, things are going fine. I immediately knew I 77 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 1: was going to have to deal with some thirsties. Okay, 78 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: so you must be a nice, little cute little girl, 79 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Nice wholesome young lady, But 80 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: nothing can truly prepare you for working with men who 81 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: haven't had pussy in years. I had men saying they 82 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: drink my bath water, sniffing me when they walk past. 83 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: It was a lot, I must admit. But there was 84 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 1: one that was different. They called him Bori for anyone 85 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: that isn't Latino, that's short. 86 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 2: For the Boriqua. Okay, okay, I said that right. 87 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: I got my little Spanish down pack Boriqua, And at 88 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: first I wasn't even looking at him that way at all. 89 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 1: It just started with small conversation asking where I'm from. 90 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: Talking about family, him helping me carry heavy things so 91 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have to struggle. The next thing, I know, 92 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: every day we're talking more and more about life and God. 93 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: Okay, I noticed. 94 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:17,320 Speaker 1: The disrespect from the other men eventually stopped as well. 95 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,840 Speaker 1: He would tell me how beautiful I was and how 96 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: he just wanted to take care of me and do 97 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: everything for me. Eventually my wall broke down and I 98 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 1: started to develop feelings for the man who I was 99 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: spending so much time around. So we started getting frisky. 100 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: Hold on and the damn jail girl, So we started 101 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: getting risky, she said, not frisky. I slipped him my number, 102 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,479 Speaker 1: He would slip me letters and pictures. We would sneak 103 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: off into the freezer together. No, we didn't have sex. 104 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,039 Speaker 1: We started talking about a life together. When he got out, 105 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: I was even looking for apartners and shit. And before 106 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: you judge me, I'm going through a lot in life 107 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,359 Speaker 1: right now. Sometimes the unhealed part of me looks for 108 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 1: something that can save me, or someone to come save me. 109 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: After a while, words spread that we were messing around. 110 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: Oh shit, girl, you know it's like the hood. It's 111 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: the damn jail, old shit, the walls talk and the 112 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: inmates do too, and sure enough, this information gets back 113 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: to my manager. I'm not gonna say her name, but 114 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: I will say this. She is one of the realest 115 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: shorties I ever met. She sits me down and tells 116 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: me she knows about me and body. I'm gonna just 117 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: say buddy, me and Boddy that she really likes me. 118 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: And that's why she was telling me. She thought it 119 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 1: would be best if I quit. Damn that if the 120 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: information got back to her, then word was spread beyond 121 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: her into the CEOs and then they'd launch an investigation 122 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: and I'd get arrested. 123 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 2: So she was saving me. 124 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: To avoid all of the mess, I just needed to quit, 125 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 1: and that's exactly what I did. I came in one 126 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: last day to tell Boddy to make sure he saves 127 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: my number in a safe space, and I didn't go back. 128 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: This was in the end of March, so having quit, 129 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: I figured there was nothing more for me to lose. 130 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,320 Speaker 1: To look for him, So that's what I did. I 131 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: looked for him on Facebook and found a couple pages. 132 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: I looked through his friendless to see if I can 133 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: find someone to pass a message to him. Also, he 134 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,159 Speaker 1: didn't call you Damn. I found this friend that he 135 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: seemed to be very close with. I messaged the friend 136 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,720 Speaker 1: to see if they still keep in contact, and this 137 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,280 Speaker 1: man proceeds to tell me that him and buddy are together. 138 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 2: That was his man. 139 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: Oh, he asked me who I was and what I 140 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: wanted with his boyfriend. Then I looked through his pictures 141 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: and find a picture with them too hugged up with 142 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: engagement rings. 143 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 2: Damn. 144 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: Needless to say, my heart was broke. I immediately got 145 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 1: sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to process 146 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,640 Speaker 1: that information at all. So I just blocked the friend 147 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 1: and the situation from my mind and just kept moving 148 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:50,359 Speaker 1: forward because now I got to figure out how to 149 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: pay my bills since I was stupid and fucked up 150 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 1: a state job with a pension and all that girl 151 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: dumba's hell. Despite that, though, I still think of him 152 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: all the time time and the way he made me feel, 153 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,640 Speaker 1: how soft and gentle he was with me. Maybe that 154 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: was from him being gay, I don't fucking know, or 155 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: just him knowing how to treat another human being. 156 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 2: Girl. That don't have nothing to do with him being gay, 157 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 2: you know. 158 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: But now he still calls me h and I answer 159 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 1: from time to time because I want to hear his voice. 160 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: Oh today I told him I knew about him and 161 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: his boyfriend. Of course, he couldn't explain much due to 162 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: where he is. But he claims that's his old life 163 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: and he wants a new one, and how he doesn't 164 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: want to lose me, how he'll answer whatever questions I have. 165 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: Just give him a chance when he gets out. Oh 166 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: hell no, you want me to wait for you to 167 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: get out. I don't know when the hell that is. 168 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: You want me to wait for you to get out 169 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: to tell me that you ain't gay? No more, so 170 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,440 Speaker 1: you can answer all my questions about you being gay, 171 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,800 Speaker 1: some about this is your old life. Well, that nigga 172 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: didn't say that when I hit him up to ask 173 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: him about you. Y'all are fucking engaged, And what you 174 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: did was you got your ass locked up, and that 175 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: nigga's for you to come to fuck home, all right. 176 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: A part of me wants that so bad, just to 177 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: say fuck it and love him openly for who he is. 178 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,120 Speaker 1: Then there's that other part of me that thinks, what 179 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,320 Speaker 1: if he gets tired and wants to go back to 180 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: dick Exactly? I'm not sure why I haven't completely checked 181 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 1: out after finding out he was gay. I need to 182 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: know how you would fix this mess. Am I delusional 183 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: to want love so bad that I tried to love 184 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: a gay man? 185 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 2: Get back to me if you can. This shit got 186 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 2: me fucked up? 187 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good. 188 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 189 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:34,559 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen. 190 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 2: All right, bookie, But I do understand. 191 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: I understand how you can be fucked up by a lot, 192 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 1: because that was just a whole lot. All right, Now, 193 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 1: let's go back to the beginning. Listen, you're twenty two 194 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: years old. You're twenty two. You had a great job 195 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,480 Speaker 1: you did, I mean, I don't you know, considerably speaking. 196 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 1: You know, you worked in a fucking jail, but you 197 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: did have a pension. You mentioned, you mentioned that you 198 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,439 Speaker 1: loved the state job. I mean, obviously you didn't have 199 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: anything bad to say about it other than you had 200 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,680 Speaker 1: to leave it due to a nigga. I'm just gonna 201 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: say a nigga. Aint gonna say a gay nigga because 202 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: we don't even know if he's gay. He may be, 203 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,640 Speaker 1: by he obviously is not gay. You know, he's obviously bisexual, 204 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: or he could be poly. I mean, we don't know 205 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,080 Speaker 1: when we get into all the sexual departments, but we don't. 206 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: We don't know, all right. 207 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: I'm also not gonna say what he made you feel 208 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,600 Speaker 1: has no regard. It's fake, it's bullshit, it's asinine to 209 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: feel that way. I'm not going to say that because 210 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: that's not true. I do believe that he developed feelings 211 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: for you. I believe that he was and probably still 212 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: is connected to that ex man, you know, his ex 213 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: fiance or could still be his current fiance, And he 214 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 1: still may be even battling with his sexuality. 215 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,040 Speaker 2: He may not know who the fuck he is. You 216 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,959 Speaker 2: understand what I'm saying. He may not. That's why I 217 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:44,960 Speaker 2: don't want to call him gay. 218 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: We can't just say, oh, you're gay because you found 219 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: out that he fucked with men. You know that he 220 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: had a man that he was engaged to. He could 221 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: still be very well bisexual. You know, we just don't know, 222 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: so I don't want to put that on him altogether. 223 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 1: I also don't think you're crazy for feeling the way 224 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,840 Speaker 1: you do. We can't control our feelings. We can't control 225 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: who we love. If you love this man. I do 226 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: understand that. I do think that you are young. I'm 227 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,200 Speaker 1: not going to say you don't know what love is, 228 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: but you have a whole lot more life to live 229 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: and a lot more to experience before you lock down 230 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: with the guy. 231 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:21,920 Speaker 2: Who is in jail. 232 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: You don't know when he's coming home, and he just 233 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: expressed to you that he may be gay. 234 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,079 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. 235 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 1: But he wants you to wait until he gets out 236 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,800 Speaker 1: for a full explanation. 237 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,439 Speaker 2: That's bullshit. 238 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: That's the only part about it that is bullshit. And 239 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 1: the craziest part about it is that you actually had 240 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 1: to quit your job. You didn't quit because you wanted to. 241 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 1: You quit because you had to, and you avoid it 242 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: and arrest. Okay, I think your manager is a real 243 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: one for coming, you know, coming to you before shit 244 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: actually hit the fucking fan and telling you to get 245 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: out of there. 246 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,000 Speaker 2: That was meaningful. 247 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: That was somebody who understands and probably somebody who saw 248 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 1: a situation like that before, you know, a young girl 249 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 1: caught in a situation like that. I'm not gonna say 250 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,319 Speaker 1: that all men in jail are the same. I'm not 251 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 1: going to say that, but I am gonna say it's 252 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,679 Speaker 1: very easy to believe a dream that a man in 253 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: jail will sell you. You understand what I'm saying. Not 254 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: saying that this is your situation now, I'm talking in general. 255 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: It's very easy to believe that because all they have 256 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,079 Speaker 1: to live by is dreams. 257 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 2: Some of them don't even know when they're coming home. 258 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:27,280 Speaker 1: Some of them ain't even coming home, so all they 259 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: have to do is hold on to dreams and memories 260 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: and shit, you know, And sometimes their dreams become nightmares 261 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 1: and shit because they don't know when they're coming home. 262 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 1: They have to live in a fucking cage and look 263 00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: at four walls for the rest of their fucking lives 264 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,960 Speaker 1: or for a very long period of time, and be 265 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,680 Speaker 1: away from their friends and families. And like you said, pussy, 266 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. It is hard that you 267 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 1: had to deal with the mental abuse, you know, the 268 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: verbal abuse from all the other inmates hitting on you, 269 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: telling you they drink your bad for it. 270 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 2: I know it had to make you feel uncomfortable. And 271 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 2: then you said you. 272 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: Met buddy buddy Qua and you always sneaking to the 273 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 1: free so much tryin hand sex. 274 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 2: What the fuck y'all doing in the freezer. 275 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: Then not y'all freezing, y'all damn asses off, and they're 276 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 1: just talking and trembling. 277 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 2: What the fuck y'all doing shit? 278 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 1: Ain't no way you could add sexy they I know 279 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: this dick can't get hard in the cold, A fucking 280 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: freezer next to the chicken. Chiall listen, all jokes aside. 281 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: I think, like I said, you're very young. Okay, make 282 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 1: this a lesson. Learn you said he calls you, you 283 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: still answer because you just want to hear his voice. 284 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: Don't run from it. I'm not saying run from it. 285 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:32,679 Speaker 1: Just keep all your options open, honey. I can't tell you. 286 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: I can't tell you. I can't tell you to be 287 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,720 Speaker 1: with a gay man. I can't tell you to not 288 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: be with a bisexual man. I can't tell you to 289 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: not fuck with him. And listen, it's all about your preference. 290 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: You're still young, you don't know who the fuck you are. 291 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,439 Speaker 1: Probably so even if you're considering dealing with a bisexual man, 292 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: that's not me judging you. That's your fucking preference. If 293 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: that's what you prefer, you need to figure out what 294 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,040 Speaker 1: you want to do. You know, he said that's his 295 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:00,079 Speaker 1: old life. Do you believe him. Can you ungay have 296 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 1: to being gay for so long? That's a real fucking question. 297 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,320 Speaker 2: Women do it? Why can't men do it? 298 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,800 Speaker 1: And then the flip side is, once your butthole been entered, 299 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: how do you like go back to being a. 300 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 2: Vergin of the butt? You know what I mean? 301 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 1: And are you gay fever once you get your butt 302 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: plugged up? 303 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,080 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. It's just so many there's 304 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: so many questions, you know what I'm saying. 305 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: We did have Andrew Carlweile bring him up every now 306 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 1: and then he said that he's not gay anymore. He 307 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 1: very well may not be, you know what I'm saying. 308 00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: We don't know what that guy does. I mean, he 309 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,319 Speaker 1: still has you know, is this feminine ways or whatever? 310 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: But that could still just be the last little bit. 311 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,000 Speaker 2: You know, coming out. 312 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: You know, he probably got to get the last little 313 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: bit out by twenty twenty five. 314 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 2: He could sound like me, you know, he could sound 315 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 2: like you know, James Earl Jones. We don't know, you 316 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 2: know what I mean. You probably don't. He probably don't. 317 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 1: You know, he's getting the last little bit of gay out, 318 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: you know, So we just don't know. 319 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 2: And while it sounds like I'm playing. I'm being dead 320 00:13:58,679 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 2: ass serious. 321 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: All right, So I want you to, you know, reach 322 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: out to body or well you can't reach out at 323 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: the jail, you know, but don't reach out to no 324 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: more his friends because then I feel like you're gonna 325 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: find out some more shit. 326 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: All right. I think you need to let him know. 327 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 2: Write I'm a nice little letter. 328 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: Let him know that you're conflicted on this, you know, 329 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 1: be as open as you can, and tell him that 330 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 1: you don't want to wait until he gets home for 331 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: him to explain everything. You met him in there, and 332 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: he still he owed you an explanation. Nigga, I lost 333 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: my motherfucking job because I picked you, over risking my 334 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 1: freedom I did in hindsight, I ultimately picked you. He 335 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,240 Speaker 1: knows you're young. I'm sure you didn't lie about your 336 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: fucking age. He knows you're young. I'm not saying that 337 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: he's trying to take advantage of you, but you are 338 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,920 Speaker 1: very impressionable. 339 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 2: Okay. 340 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: It took him a minute to knock down that wall, 341 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: but he did. A nigga in jail knocked down the wall. Okay, 342 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: you can have anybody on the outside your age. A 343 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: couple of years old or whatever, without a record, without 344 00:14:57,000 --> 00:15:01,440 Speaker 1: a boyfriend or you know, a fiance and without a 345 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 1: past like that, and you chose Buddy again. 346 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,920 Speaker 2: It may sound like I'm judging you. I'm not. 347 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 1: But sometimes you gotta hear shit repeated back to you 348 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 1: so you can hear how unorthodox it sounds. I'm not 349 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,600 Speaker 1: saying situation is crazy. I'm not saying it's disgusting. I'm 350 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: not saying any of that. I don't want you to 351 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: get the wrong idea. I said unorthodox. It's a lot 352 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: going on, a lot going on. You're too young for that. 353 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: You should be working on your next fucking job, not 354 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 1: working on buddy. And when a fuck he come home? 355 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,920 Speaker 1: What the fuck is he gonna give you? Is he 356 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: backing up his promises with concrete details? Does he have 357 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: a fucking plan? What is he doing in there now? 358 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: And did you work in a jail or did you 359 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 1: work in a prison that's different? Is he taking classes 360 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,000 Speaker 1: to better himself? 361 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 2: Like? 362 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: What the fuck is he doing? What are his dreams? 363 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,440 Speaker 1: Did y'all get to know each other in the damn 364 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,600 Speaker 1: Did he tell you that in that freezer? What did 365 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,560 Speaker 1: he tell you he was cold freezing your ass? Off. 366 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 2: He supposed to be on the damn floor with. 367 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 1: The rest of the inmates and you playing in a 368 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: freezer with buddy, girl. I think you need to go 369 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: try to get your damn job back, or go to 370 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: another damn jail and don't fall in love with no 371 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: more fucking inmates. 372 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 2: Girl. I mean that. 373 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 1: No, they're not all the same, but that ain't where 374 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: you want to get your man from. 375 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 2: It's good men and that two. 376 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: But let them come home, figure themselves out and find 377 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,960 Speaker 1: their women, or let them come home to people that's already. 378 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 2: Waiting for them. I mean that. I mean that, even in. 379 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: Your case, let them come home to who's waiting for 380 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:34,600 Speaker 1: them obviously, Okay, because dreams are still sold in jail. Okay, Okay, 381 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: check back in with me because I want to know 382 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: where you go from here. I would love for you 383 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 1: to go get another job. You seem like you had 384 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: your head on damn straight. But you know, we don't know, 385 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: we don't know. I know you need to get it together. 386 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and 387 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,560 Speaker 1: then we'll be right back moving on. Hey, Jass, I 388 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: have a boyfriend that I've been with for four years, 389 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,560 Speaker 1: but we both want different things. I want us to 390 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: have our own place, but he wants to keep living 391 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: with his dad. 392 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 2: He's twenty one and I'm twenty. Damn girl, shit girl, 393 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 2: probably ain't ready for all of that. 394 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: Now, come on, what the hell are you talking about? 395 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: First of all, your little hot ass, calm down. You 396 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:19,159 Speaker 1: ain't even twenty one yet. He's twenty one and you're twenty. 397 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: Understand you want to move. Okay, you want to move 398 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: with your boyfriend. Y'all been together for four years. Yeah so, 399 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:30,560 Speaker 1: y'all were together since sixteen seventeen. I understand, But you 400 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,880 Speaker 1: really truly don't know a person until you live with them. 401 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,440 Speaker 1: And now, honestly, I'm not trying to I'm not trying 402 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 1: to control your life. But you got one more year 403 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: until you make all these big decisions, and you got 404 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: to live with them. You understand what I'm saying. I 405 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: think he's making a sensible decision. You act like he 406 00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:50,679 Speaker 1: thirty one, forty one living with his dad. I know 407 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: some people living with their parents that are older than 408 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: I am, which I'm still not saying anything is wrong 409 00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:02,360 Speaker 1: with I'm just saying it depends on your level of independence. 410 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,720 Speaker 1: If you want to be independent. It's some people parents 411 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: don't want them to leave. Some people don't want to. 412 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 2: Leave their parents. 413 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,119 Speaker 1: But when you have relationships and jobs and kids and 414 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,000 Speaker 1: all that type of shit, you want your own. And 415 00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: when you just are tired of living under someone else's roof, 416 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: you want your own. But then you have people that 417 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:23,720 Speaker 1: stay at home as long as they can. Because I'm 418 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,200 Speaker 1: gonna tell you something, it's hard to shit out here 419 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: these days. Back in the day when I first moved out, 420 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 1: yeah it was hard, but it wasn't nowhere near as 421 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:36,600 Speaker 1: hard as it is now. We're in a recession right now. 422 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: And while it doesn't affect a lot of people, and 423 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: why it doesn't look like why it doesn't look like 424 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: it affects a lot of people, Oh it does. 425 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 2: It's affecting a lot of fucking people. I went to 426 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 2: this is a sidetrack, real quick. 427 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: I want the chick for later other day, right, I 428 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,280 Speaker 1: order fool for me, my sister and my videographer. That 429 00:18:57,359 --> 00:19:01,040 Speaker 1: shit came up to like thirty eight dollars and we 430 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,600 Speaker 1: didn't even get four meals. 431 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 2: I was the only one who got a four meal. 432 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: My sister got some nuggets, Megan cheese, and he got 433 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: a salad and a milkshake or some shit. Thirty eight 434 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: dollars forty dollars for three people to eat, and they 435 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: weren't even full complete meals. It's a fucking struggle out here. 436 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 1: That shit may sound like pennies to certain people. To 437 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 1: other people, you ain't got it. It's hard feeding your 438 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,639 Speaker 1: fucking family. That's why so much crime, That's why niggas 439 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: is hungry, robbing, stealing, fucking killing people and shit people 440 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: are trying to make ways out of no way, you 441 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: understand what I'm saying. And then we have yellow ass 442 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: that want to move out quick fast, in a hurry. Girl, 443 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: you're gonna be right back. And I don't even like it. 444 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,159 Speaker 1: And I don't like saying this. I don't like seeming 445 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: like I'm talking down But don't jump out there too 446 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,440 Speaker 1: fucking fast, Okay, don't at least wait until you're twenty one, 447 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,439 Speaker 1: and then let him take his time. If y'all been 448 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 1: together for four years already, where he going? Do you 449 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: see y'all going downhill? Is this a deal breaker for you? 450 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: If y'all don't move together, you're gonna leave him? 451 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,080 Speaker 2: What is this? 452 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: It's all right, compromise and a relationship. Compromise, give him 453 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:19,280 Speaker 1: like a wager, you know, leverage. Let's meet in the middle, compromise. 454 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 1: Say all right, Ben, you know how bad I want 455 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,720 Speaker 1: to move together. Since we can't do that right now, 456 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: let's revisit this in another year, six months to a year, 457 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: and let's see where you'll be by then. Or let's 458 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: wait until my twenty first birthday and let's see where 459 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,000 Speaker 1: you'll be by then and we'll revisit it. 460 00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:37,000 Speaker 2: You know what I mean. 461 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:40,880 Speaker 1: Don't just up and leave call it quits just because 462 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: he's not trying to move together right now. He also 463 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: could be scared. He could be nervous, His parents could 464 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,639 Speaker 1: be in his head. You ain't about to move with 465 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 1: that girl. You know what I'm saying. You don't know, 466 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: so I think it's a communication thing. Sit down and 467 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,640 Speaker 1: talk to him, but also compromise if you see it's 468 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: really a problem. Don't ever pressure a man to do shit, 469 00:20:58,840 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: just like I don't think we should. 470 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 2: Be press sure to do anything. 471 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 1: Never put pressure on a man, because when they feel pressure, 472 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: they do shit like lie. They start telling you what 473 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 1: you want to hear and they don't even mean it. 474 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: Just to get from up under that pressure. You know 475 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,200 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, they start to lie, they start 476 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: to run, they start the cheat, they start to don't 477 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,640 Speaker 1: pressure him. 478 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 2: Be upfront always. That's a tip that you could take 479 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: for me. I'm thirty one. 480 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: I still ain't got it all figured out relationship wise, 481 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: but I think I'm doing pretty damn good because I've 482 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,239 Speaker 1: had some bad examples. 483 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 2: To show me what not to do and what to 484 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 2: watch out for. 485 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 1: Well, actually I should call them good examples because I 486 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,800 Speaker 1: know the nigga right now was thinking them niggas a 487 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: All right, well, listen, we come to the end of 488 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: another Carefully Reckless episode where Jess is fixing your mess 489 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,440 Speaker 1: every Wednesday on The Black Effect. Thank you, I Heart 490 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: This is the home for your podcast. Anyway you find podcasts, 491 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,920 Speaker 1: so you listen to podcasts, make sure you search carefully 492 00:21:54,960 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 1: Reckless and then my deepest Pam voice name and. 493 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: The name. 494 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The 495 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 496 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,560 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.