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Speaker 1: He confession, I can't take back all arms. Mouse speaker

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Speaker 1: text to seven five nine two says as a father,

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Speaker 1: having three boys is great. Oh, I never get the

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Speaker 1: blame for making a mess of the toilet seat anymore,

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Speaker 1: even though half the time it's totally me. I get it.

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Speaker 1: Half the reason we even have children is to use

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Speaker 1: them as scapegoats for our own shortcomings. That's why on

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Speaker 1: this segment, we encourage you to confess the worst parts

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Speaker 1: about yourself and then say it's all your kid's fault.

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Speaker 1: No judgment here on the mass speaker, and we have

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Speaker 1: a listener who wants to confess today, using Tiffany as

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Speaker 1: her fake name, might even be her daughter's name, who knows,

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Speaker 1: but Tiffany, welcome to the show. I was going to ask,

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Speaker 1: how's your aim? But you're a woman. We're not going

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Speaker 1: to go there with you, Tiffany. But the voice changer

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Speaker 1: is on. You are the mass speaker. When you're ready,

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Speaker 1: let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 2: So I'm married. But quick backstory. The very first time

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Speaker 2: my in laws was I don't know, like twenty some

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Speaker 2: years ago. Whoa dang, you've known your husband a long time,

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Speaker 2: long time. So I met my future father in law

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Speaker 2: at the time, he was super nice, kind, very sweet. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean that's a great sign for the person you're

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Speaker 2: marrying too. You know, they have good parents, they tend

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Speaker 2: to be good people exactly. But my mother in law

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Speaker 2: she was every other adjective.

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Speaker 1: The opposite oppo. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And so we had the first weekend where we all met.

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Speaker 2: We were going to a family technic and she pulled

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Speaker 2: me aside and she was like, honey, your blouse looks

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Speaker 2: a little trampish. That's going to send the wrong message

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Speaker 2: to the family. That's the wrong message trampish. You're like,

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to send the message I'm fertile. So this

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Speaker 2: is twenty years ago. Yeah, and so she was like,

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Speaker 2: why don't you borrow one of mine?

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Speaker 1: Oh god, yeah, yeah, curtain And how freaky for your

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Speaker 1: boyfriend at the time if you show up we're in

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Speaker 1: your mom Yeah. Could there be more of a turney exactly?

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Speaker 2: And she was just being super rude, right, totally.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean she's trying to upset you. It sounds

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Speaker 1: like probably a little bit jealous of you that way too.

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Speaker 1: Don't think about that. Gravity hasn't taken hold of your boods.

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Speaker 2: Exactly, and she doesn't know that. I'm a really vengeful

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Speaker 2: person and I really don't forget stuff like that. The

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Speaker 2: same don't have to drop it when it's your in laws,

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Speaker 2: We keep it.

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Speaker 1: I bet the mother in law you have that in

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Speaker 1: comic to be honest, maybe.

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Speaker 2: And so every visit I would just lean into my

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Speaker 2: wardrobe a little bit, and we when I wanted to

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Speaker 2: wear a fat after we got married, whenever we go

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Speaker 2: over there for like Christmas or thanks or anything, I

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Speaker 2: would find a time to sneak away, go up to

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Speaker 2: your hoop bedroom and I would just take one item

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Speaker 2: of her clothing, like a blouse.

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Speaker 1: A dress, steal it. Yes, why why did you steal

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Speaker 1: her clothes?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like, you know, if she's gonna mess

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Speaker 2: with me, I'm gonna mess with her. I just felt

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Speaker 2: like a way to get something.

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Speaker 1: Back, a very troll, very s So I'd roll.

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Speaker 2: It up, put them at hers, and then I would

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Speaker 2: rejoin everyone. I would never like wear it, because honestly,

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Speaker 2: like her style is not me. So I would keep

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Speaker 2: it in this little tiny suitcase in the back of

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Speaker 2: my closet.

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Speaker 1: Captain, you didn't even donate it, No, I would keep

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Speaker 1: it Okay, maybe a secretly, like a part of you

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Speaker 1: kind of likes the clothes and you're hoping that one

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Speaker 1: day it'd be like, ooh, actually the future, this floral dress.

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Speaker 1: Actually it's so hard.

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Speaker 2: The suitcase of like ugly clothes in the back of

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Speaker 2: my closet sounds like more of a punishment to me than.

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Speaker 1: Well, is it working? Is the is your revenge plane working?

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Speaker 2: So it's been you know, a long time, and then

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Speaker 2: eventually she started to notice and my husband asked me,

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Speaker 2: He's like, hey, have you seen my mom's shirt? And

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I haven't seen it. She's asking me,

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Speaker 2: and I would lean in. I was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: your mom's getting older, she's not remembering pain. Oh put

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Speaker 2: it home. Yeah, okay. This has gone on for I mean,

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Speaker 2: there's been like twenty to thirty items that have taken

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Speaker 2: of hers Wow, and now she is like deeply concerned

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Speaker 2: for you know, mental health. And she even starts therapy therapy.

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Speaker 1: So you've stolen so many of her clothes that she

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Speaker 1: has now put herself into therapy because of it.

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Speaker 2: Exactly do you feel good about this because this doesn't

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Speaker 2: feel so great to be I mean, I feel a

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Speaker 2: little weird, but now I've been doing it for so long,

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Speaker 2: Like my goal is to fill that suitcase, and now

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Speaker 2: I've like skilled it, and I'm like, I don't want

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Speaker 2: to stop.

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Speaker 1: Oh now you should mess with her by slowly putting

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Speaker 1: one item back.

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Speaker 2: Really good.

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Speaker 1: It'd be harder to sneak it in than sneak it out.

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Speaker 2: And like you have to remember, this is like all

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Speaker 2: because of the very first time we met. Like I

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Speaker 2: told you, I was a vengeful person, and it takes

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Speaker 2: a long time for me to get over things. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if that makes mentioned with the wrong person.

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Speaker 2: She just it's kind among her.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's like they say, you always marry your

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Speaker 1: mom or your dad, and I think you and the

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Speaker 1: mother in law have more in common than you really. Yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 1: you really love each other?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well we do love. We do love. You know

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Speaker 2: I loved So.

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Speaker 1: If you're happy with your revenge plot, then that's all

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Speaker 1: that really matters.

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Speaker 2: I guess I got a suitcase, still revenge.

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Speaker 1: All are clothed, and I just to spend all this

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Speaker 1: money on therapy. Yeah, text thin the seven eighty five

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Speaker 1: nine too. If you have a confession you've been holding

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Speaker 1: on to, we'll hide your identity, mask your voice, and

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Speaker 1: make you our next mass speaker. Your phone TAP's coming

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Speaker 1: up right after this.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,