Speaker 1: There's a lot of talk about mindfulness these days, which
Speaker 1: is fantastic. I mean, we all want to be more
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Speaker 2: If there's like a girl you know listening who's like, ah,
Speaker 2: you know, I would love to feel more feminine. I
Speaker 2: would love to, you know, have more of that energy
Speaker 2: inside of me first is recognizing and giving so much
Speaker 2: appreciation to that masculine that got you here, because it
Speaker 2: was there was probably a reason you leaned into the masculine.
Speaker 2: We our bodies are intelligent, our hearts are intelligent, and
Speaker 2: we lean into what we need to in order to survive.
Speaker 2: And so it's like, this is incredible, but now it's
Speaker 2: time to not just survive anymore, and it's time to
Speaker 2: truly like get into that thriving.
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to share with you.
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Speaker 1: Podcast Jay Sheety Jay Shetty see Zy holy st Hey everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome back to on Purpose, the place you come to
Speaker 1: become happier healthier and more healed. I'm so grateful to
Speaker 1: have conversations with friends, thought leaders, experts, athletes, musicians, people
Speaker 1: from all walks of life and backgrounds who come here
Speaker 1: to share their stories, share their experiences, and share their
Speaker 1: insights so that all of us can grow together. Today
Speaker 1: I get to invite one of my friends and someone
Speaker 1: is really special to her too. So we have two
Speaker 1: amazing guests, two friends, two people that I've got to
Speaker 1: know over.
Speaker 3: The last couple of years.
Speaker 1: And today's conversation is going to be one that I
Speaker 1: hope you listen to with your friends, with your family,
Speaker 1: with your sisters, with your cousins, with your brothers. I
Speaker 1: want this to be an episode that you consume with
Speaker 1: someone else so that you can discuss it just like
Speaker 1: we will. You can dissect it just like we will,
Speaker 1: and you can share in the experience with someone else. Today,
Speaker 1: I'd like to introduce my two guests. One of them
Speaker 1: is someone we've had on the show before. She absolutely
Speaker 1: crushed it Last Time You Love the Episode. Her name
Speaker 1: is Alexis Wren, one of the most influential personalities on
Speaker 1: social media, with over eighteen million followers on Instagram alone.
Speaker 1: Alexis is an American entrepreneur, model, and advocate for mental
Speaker 1: health and self empowerment and our second guest who is
Speaker 1: on the show as well as Ali Michelle. She's a
Speaker 1: three times best selling author, viral spoken word artist, and
Speaker 1: Ali is also a certified yoga, breath work, meditation, reiki
Speaker 1: and cranio sacral therapist. Alexis and Ali launched We Are Warriors,
Speaker 1: a female driven mind, body wellness community that focuses on
Speaker 1: fostering and cultivating self growth, love and strength for women
Speaker 1: around the world. Alexis and Ali launch their new journal,
Speaker 1: which I'm so excited to have in my hands right now.
Speaker 1: It's out right now as well, that guides you through
Speaker 1: the depths of your your subconscious, helping you uncover the
Speaker 1: wise behind your patterns and offering eye opening insights into
Speaker 1: your own behavior and emotions. Go and grab your copy
Speaker 1: right now. I can't recommend this enough. Please, Welcome to
Speaker 1: the show, Alexis and Ali, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: being here.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I could just listen to your talk
Speaker 2: all day.
Speaker 3: My goodness, we were remembering when you were here. A
Speaker 3: couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: We had a sacred care turn ceremony at the home
Speaker 1: and both of you joined, which is so beautiful, and
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you back on the show.
Speaker 1: Alexis Ali. I'm so excited to have you on the
Speaker 1: show for the first time, and I want to start
Speaker 1: by just getting to understand how you too became friends
Speaker 1: and how you met. I think it's always beautiful for
Speaker 1: our audience to hear how two powerhouse humans have come
Speaker 1: together to create beautiful things in the world. You also
Speaker 1: have your podcast releasing this summer, I believe, and it's
Speaker 1: called Easy A Easy.
Speaker 3: I love that title.
Speaker 1: I love the movie so Easy A coming out this
Speaker 1: summer as well, and you're launching that together. But I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear the origin story of how this relationship
Speaker 1: became to be, so I'll leave it to you to
Speaker 1: figure out how do you tell that story.
Speaker 2: It was a super synchronistic one. We met when we
Speaker 2: were what twelve, thirteen, eleven eleven. She remembers everything. I
Speaker 2: just had jokes here and there. We became very very close,
Speaker 2: very quickly. I think one of the reasons that we
Speaker 2: always stayed friends was we never held each other to
Speaker 2: a certain type of relationship. We were very fluid with
Speaker 2: our friendship. But it didn't really cement until my mom
Speaker 2: got sick. When that started to happen to my family,
Speaker 2: her mom stepped in, her whole family stepped in, and
Speaker 2: then when my mom passed, they actually adopted me, and
Speaker 2: I actually moved in with them, and her mom taught
Speaker 2: me about taxes and business and got me into all
Speaker 2: sorts of book Mary Williamson kind of set me on
Speaker 2: my path and reminded me of who I was. And
Speaker 2: then after that we just knew that this was going
Speaker 2: to be a lifelong relationship and a very unique one
Speaker 2: that because we're actually kind of pull her off plus
Speaker 2: couldn't be more different. I think because of that, we
Speaker 2: blend really nicely with each other. And we always knew
Speaker 2: there was going to be some kind of path, divine
Speaker 2: path for us, but we didn't know what and how,
Speaker 2: And for a while we just kind of let each
Speaker 2: other go off and do different things. I went more
Speaker 2: of the traditional Hollywood route, and then she went and
Speaker 2: started traveling. And we always have this funny joke like
Speaker 2: I'll take care of our outsides and she takes care
Speaker 2: of our insides, and like that's how we got to
Speaker 2: do this. And then things started manifesting for us to
Speaker 2: actually start working together. When Warriors was founded in twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: it morphed into so many different things. But then at
Speaker 2: one point I was like, it would make so much
Speaker 2: sense to bring Ali on here because she's literally she's
Speaker 2: my other hearts, she's my other brain. I trust her
Speaker 2: opinion as much as I trust my own, and so
Speaker 2: bringing her on to Weird Warriors just felt right. And
Speaker 2: then through that, she's really helped me just harness and
Speaker 2: strengthen what that community does for the girls and for
Speaker 2: everyone in it. And so far we've already tackled like
Speaker 2: almost ten thousand girls in and out of that community.
Speaker 2: And it's pretty insane because now we've actually become the
Speaker 2: big sister mentors and yeah, essentially become the girls that
Speaker 2: we needed when we were flailing around being like, what
Speaker 2: is our papist? The weight of the world on our shoulders,
Speaker 2: we need to save the earth. And now we're just
Speaker 2: kind of coming back around to that joyful playfulness and
Speaker 2: seeing where it takes us. And then Warriors kind of
Speaker 2: got us ready for the podcast, and that was really
Speaker 2: nice because because it's gated, we had this opportunity to
Speaker 2: just learn how to speak to a crowd and learn
Speaker 2: how to host essentially because it is a talent and
Speaker 2: you're one of the best, I will say, my goodness, gracious,
Speaker 2: like no one tops to you. And so through that
Speaker 2: we got really comfortable with being able to balance each
Speaker 2: other out in that way, and then it just made sense.
Speaker 2: And of course, selfishly, there's so many people me and
Speaker 2: Ali want to talk to. We've always just been so
Speaker 2: curious about different people of all landscapes. I'm sure that's
Speaker 2: one of the reasons. You also got into it, because
Speaker 2: it's just so cool you have an excuse to just
Speaker 2: speak to anyone that you've ever wanted to, and so
Speaker 2: now we actually have that excuse to do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think Warriors is really a love
Speaker 4: letter to her mom, because she was always into the
Speaker 4: holistic health stuff of you know, acupuncture and meditation, and
Speaker 4: so she really introduced me to all of that. So
Speaker 4: it just feels like she almost brought us together for Warriors.
Speaker 4: But to your point, I think the beautiful thing is
Speaker 4: we've never held each other hostage to a specific version
Speaker 4: or you know, judge each other for our choices or
Speaker 4: tried to change one another. And so for me, it's
Speaker 4: been my greatest example of a healthy love exactly.
Speaker 2: We really taught each other how to communicate in the
Speaker 2: hardest ways possibility.
Speaker 1: You know, well, that's actually when I was thinking about
Speaker 1: when I was preparing for this interview. That was actually
Speaker 1: what was on my heart that I wanted to understand
Speaker 1: how you do that and even hearing you both describe
Speaker 1: it as we've allowed this relationship to be fluid, and
Speaker 1: it's taken on many forms. I think when you're young, especially,
Speaker 1: we have this idea of this is my best friend,
Speaker 1: and this is my next best friend, and.
Speaker 3: This person's right.
Speaker 1: We live in this kind of very binary world when
Speaker 1: we're kids, and so we do put people in boxes
Speaker 1: and we do label people. And then sometimes those labels
Speaker 1: last as we get older, and sometimes they fade away,
Speaker 1: and sometimes we still act like kids even when we're
Speaker 1: older with how we see our relationships. How did you
Speaker 1: both develop that ability to allow each other to be
Speaker 1: who you were separately, Like you just said, Alexis, you
Speaker 1: were like I went down the Hollywood route, you know, Ali,
Speaker 1: you went traveling. You went seems like down the healing
Speaker 1: route quite as a priority externally as well. Even though
Speaker 1: Alexis was doing that internally, but her external career was different.
Speaker 1: How did you allow each other to be who you
Speaker 1: were independently but still respect each other and connect because
Speaker 1: I think that seems to be a big need in
Speaker 1: our world today, whether it's friendships, whether it's romantic relationships,
Speaker 1: whether it's business and professional relationships. I think we live
Speaker 1: at a time when it's so easy to judge each other.
Speaker 1: How did you develop that over time? Was it always
Speaker 1: like that or was there a time when you like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, she sewed out or she's like did you
Speaker 1: have those assumptions about each other?
Speaker 4: I mean we butt heads, of course because we're opposites,
Speaker 4: but our north stars are the same. And I think
Speaker 4: that's what sees us through is there's something so much
Speaker 4: bigger than us. And you know, especially because we made
Speaker 4: it through the loss of her mom together, it didn't
Speaker 4: really matter if we were fighting because I'm going to talk.
Speaker 2: To you next week.
Speaker 4: We're family and so, you know, I think when you
Speaker 4: have such a clear devotion to someone, it doesn't really
Speaker 4: matter what shape it takes.
Speaker 2: It reminds me of that one poem where you talk
Speaker 2: about the marriage and how the guy was like, I've
Speaker 2: been married for x amount of years and someone was like,
Speaker 2: I'll let you. I'm butchering it, but gone.
Speaker 4: So I watched this interview of these couples who had
Speaker 4: been together for sixty plus years, and there was one
Speaker 4: that had been together for sixty seven and the interviewer
Speaker 4: looks at the husband and says, how have you been
Speaker 4: with the same woman for so long? And he says,
Speaker 4: she hasn't been the same woman at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's so much evolution and so much growth, But
Speaker 1: I guess that's what it is, right. I feel like
Speaker 1: as humans, we have a resistance to other people growing,
Speaker 1: just as we have a limitation on who we can be,
Speaker 1: and we almost extend that limitation to others as well.
Speaker 1: When you saw each other grow in different ways, maybe
Speaker 1: incongruent ways, random ways, what allowed you to have difficult
Speaker 1: but healthy conversations around that? And I'm speaking from my
Speaker 1: personal experience, even I've only been with Radi for eleven
Speaker 1: years only, and no, but in the.
Speaker 3: Sense of compared to sixty seven.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, like, we've been together for
Speaker 1: eleven years, and I agree with that statement completely, Like
Speaker 1: Radi has transformed in so many ways in the last
Speaker 1: eleven years since I met her, I fully agree with that,
Speaker 1: but that evolution requires two people to sign up to
Speaker 1: that and subscribe to that. So with those moments where
Speaker 1: you saw each other going through these big or small
Speaker 1: changes and how did you adapt with each.
Speaker 2: Other, we would definitely trigger each other. But then we
Speaker 2: had enough wisdom where we knew when there was a trigger,
Speaker 2: there was a path we had to take in order
Speaker 2: to get through that ego and then into the growth part.
Speaker 2: So and we also we truly do love watching each
Speaker 2: other grow. It gives us a lot of joy. And
Speaker 2: we've also never held each other back. If I disagree
Speaker 2: with her, for instance, I will state that truth immediately.
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I disagree with you, but I absolutely
Speaker 2: respect your decision. I'm gonna love you no matter what,
Speaker 2: you know, whatever happens, I was right. She loves to
Speaker 2: always be right, and she usually is. That's the unfortunate thing.
Speaker 2: But then I think that's always the nuanced way to communicate.
Speaker 2: Is I just you have to voice that, because if
Speaker 2: you don't, then there's this pacific there's this resentment that
Speaker 2: builds in the relationship, and then you can't harness authenticity.
Speaker 2: So with her, it's like I have to state this,
Speaker 2: but I also am gonna let you be you. And
Speaker 2: so that's always been our rule with each other, is
Speaker 2: that we kind of dance on the ashes of who
Speaker 2: we once were, and we never hold each other to
Speaker 2: this idea of who we're supposed to be. But she's
Speaker 2: also just become such an incredible woman, and it's been
Speaker 2: so almost a real watching it happen, because you've known
Speaker 2: each other since you were twelve. It's just I mean,
Speaker 2: I always think if I would have told twelve year
Speaker 2: old Ali that you were speaking in front of five
Speaker 2: hundred people at conferences and traveling all of the world
Speaker 2: doing spoken word, it would that twelve year old you
Speaker 2: would literally run into a closet, like what is actually
Speaker 2: going on right now? But I think that's also when
Speaker 2: we hold each other accountable for growth, that's the main thing,
Speaker 2: because there's going to be a lot of friction with
Speaker 2: that always I've noticed in my own life and I'm
Speaker 2: assuming with you as well. Wherever there's the most resistance,
Speaker 2: there's also the most transformation. And we've always had actually
Speaker 2: the most resistance in our friendship, Like we've gone through
Speaker 2: so many different versions of ourselves. We've stopped talking for
Speaker 2: six months we've gone I think our limit was like
Speaker 2: a year without talking, and then we always like got
Speaker 2: back into it. It's almost that feminine energy of just
Speaker 2: letting it flow as opposed to trying to put this
Speaker 2: like expectation of the friendship, because I think that is
Speaker 2: why relationships in any shape or form kind of become stagnant,
Speaker 2: because we're holding this idea of someone to them and
Speaker 2: then they resent it because they're trying to grow our
Speaker 2: ego's heart because you don't want them to move out
Speaker 2: of that box that you're so comfortable that they're being.
Speaker 2: And this happens weekly with us, I think, a really honest,
Speaker 2: vulnerable relationship, it's an almost daily thing we have to
Speaker 2: go through. But then it's fun because now we look
Speaker 2: at who we are as like these little avatars, and
Speaker 2: we can add different attributes to each other and just
Speaker 2: be like I think I want to be funnier or
Speaker 2: I think I want to, you know, be grittier or
Speaker 2: like and we just we have these really honest conversations
Speaker 2: with about ourselves and then we build together, like truly
Speaker 2: we've built ourselves together. And then of course that over
Speaker 2: you know that the energy of my mom kind of
Speaker 2: always being there. It feels really divine and sacred, and
Speaker 2: I think that really is what drives everything we do.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was put on Riddlin and adderall and just
Speaker 4: different add medications super young, around like ten or eleven,
Speaker 4: and it kind of snuffed out my creativity. And her
Speaker 4: mom was one of the people that helped turn.
Speaker 2: My light on inside.
Speaker 4: And so there is just this greater devotion to her
Speaker 4: that I feel. And I think our culture, Western culture
Speaker 4: is particularly noncommittal. There's almost this one foot in, one
Speaker 4: foot out. We have so many options. I don't know
Speaker 4: which one to take, but there's actually a freedom that
Speaker 4: happens when you just fully plant both feet on the
Speaker 4: ground and say, like, this is what I'm committed to.
Speaker 2: It's contradicting, it's so contradicting.
Speaker 4: But I think also because it's not a romantic relationship,
Speaker 4: but there's so much room to breathe, you know, there
Speaker 4: there are way less expectations, and because we're fully committed
Speaker 4: to each other, we just figure it out. Like now,
Speaker 4: we communicate a lot better by writing each other letters
Speaker 4: because if we step on a tender spe but and
Speaker 4: it gets.
Speaker 2: Really reactive emotion. Feel now conclusion now, and she's like
Speaker 2: five to ten business days please, And so we really
Speaker 2: had like I need to withtrash. It's like I need
Speaker 2: to explode. I'm like, how about a letter?
Speaker 4: So it's that it's finding whatever it can be a
Speaker 4: bridge between you.
Speaker 1: What was the reason that you went on the medications
Speaker 1: and then what talked to me about the journey of
Speaker 1: finding your way with that? Because it sounds like obviously
Speaker 1: right now creativity is by the way, if anyone has
Speaker 1: not seen I'm speaking to the audience right now, if
Speaker 1: any of you have not seen, Ali and Alexis performed
Speaker 1: spoken word together insane.
Speaker 3: That was amazing.
Speaker 1: But I remember seeing that common to her immediately. I
Speaker 1: remember it coming out. I think I even shared it.
Speaker 3: It came up.
Speaker 1: I think it was on my TikTok feed or maybe
Speaker 1: it was on Instagram. But that was spectacular. It was
Speaker 1: so good, Like how I don't know how long it
Speaker 1: took you to write it, and you're both going to
Speaker 1: say like two hours or something, but it was believe
Speaker 1: it was so good, like it was so powerful, like
Speaker 1: every line. So obviously you've tapped into that now and
Speaker 1: that seems to be the greatest part of your expression.
Speaker 1: But to hear that actually, based on the medications you
Speaker 1: were on, that was dampened. Walk us through that a
Speaker 1: little bit, just to give the audience context.
Speaker 4: I just think there's so many different types of intelligence,
Speaker 4: and I have a natural inclination towards creative and emotional intelligence.
Speaker 4: But my sister, for example, had like a semi photographic
Speaker 4: memory and just got incredible grades and was very smart
Speaker 4: in a specific way. And so when you're in school
Speaker 4: and the system is kind of a one size fits
Speaker 4: all for the most part, it's very difficult as a
Speaker 4: kid to have high self esteem if that's not a
Speaker 4: value that's within the school.
Speaker 2: And so her mom, you know, was.
Speaker 4: Such a huge help in that of no, this is
Speaker 4: really valuable, Like, no, you are intuitive, No, it's okay,
Speaker 4: Like you can express your creativity.
Speaker 2: She had to deal with me and being like I
Speaker 2: can't do math, and she's like, it's okay, your value
Speaker 2: somewhere else. Everyone has.
Speaker 4: No really, everyone has their deck of cards to play.
Speaker 4: Some people are like goodwill hunting, you know, and some
Speaker 4: people are like art, and some people can grow the
Speaker 4: perfect flower. And it's all should weigh equally on a scale.
Speaker 4: In my opinion, So I think it was that journey
Speaker 4: of just learning to believe in myself in that way
Speaker 4: and place value on my gifts that maybe society didn't.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: I want to come back to that because I love
Speaker 1: that theme and I love the examples you just shared that.
Speaker 1: I was watching an interview, or at least a clip
Speaker 1: of an interview where Melinda Gates, who just came on
Speaker 1: the show. She was interviewing Oprah has been on the show,
Speaker 1: and Gail King and so Milinda's interviewing them, and it's
Speaker 1: all about female friendships and relationships. And Oprah said something
Speaker 1: that really stood out to me. She said that the
Speaker 1: reason why she's been able to be friends with Gail
Speaker 1: for so long is because she's one of the few
Speaker 1: people who's not been envious of her. And I was
Speaker 1: thinking about that, and it really resonated with me, and
Speaker 1: I started to realize how all the friendships I had
Speaker 1: that have lasted on non envious friendships, and all the friendships,
Speaker 1: business partnerships, even relationships romantic relationships that didn't last or
Speaker 1: had envy in them somewhere, whether someone was envious or
Speaker 1: insecure about you, whether someone was envious in a business sense,
Speaker 1: whether someone was envious. I remember guy friends when you
Speaker 1: were teenagers being like, oh, let's see who can get
Speaker 1: more numbers tonight from girls? And I'm like, why does
Speaker 1: it have to be that? I thought we were friends?
Speaker 1: Like when did this turn into a competition? And it's
Speaker 1: interesting how what starts off as innocent teenage competitiveness kind
Speaker 1: of can transcend into our adult life as well. Talk
Speaker 1: to me as to how you keep envy at bay
Speaker 1: in a friendship like this and a business partnership like this,
Speaker 1: because I think it is the crux of the quality
Speaker 1: of relationship you have, and it's not talked about enough.
Speaker 1: I think it's a really uncomfortable, awkward thing to talk about.
Speaker 1: But I genuinely believe that my best friend, who was
Speaker 1: my best man at my wedding, the reason why we're
Speaker 1: best friends and have been for the past twenty years
Speaker 1: is because he's not envious in me, and I'm not
Speaker 1: envious of him. Even that doesn't mean that I'm not
Speaker 1: proud of him and I don't admire him and he
Speaker 1: doesn't that of me. But there isn't that sense. Would
Speaker 1: you agree? Would you disagree? How do you feel I
Speaker 1: want to hear about it? From you guys.
Speaker 2: For me personally, it always makes me like my lovely.
Speaker 2: My love language is like helping people become better. I
Speaker 2: think that's acts of service in a form. We call
Speaker 2: it ratification improvement. I love. I love helping people improve.
Speaker 2: I always have this like vision for them, and I
Speaker 2: get really excited when I can help, you know, make
Speaker 2: that vision come to life. So and and for me,
Speaker 2: I always, you know, coming from the homeschooling background, I
Speaker 2: never felt intelligently adequate enough. And but she was, you know,
Speaker 2: in her own rights, so intelligent, and so I think
Speaker 2: we almost reassured each other, you know. For her, she
Speaker 2: was insecure about you know, you know, in that awkward
Speaker 2: teenage phase, and I was just way too confident at
Speaker 2: that age. So we mediated each other.
Speaker 4: I was had a University of Racist and she was
Speaker 4: a Lexus run.
Speaker 2: Let's just but we we we validated each other where
Speaker 2: our wounds were most apparent. And that's why there is
Speaker 2: no envy, because I almost look at her as like
Speaker 2: the same way I would look at myself, like a
Speaker 2: project that I that I helped create, that I helped,
Speaker 2: you know, and vice versa. She she helped me. Really,
Speaker 2: I mean, I wouldn't be who truly, I wouldn't be
Speaker 2: who I am without you, and even thinking to our
Speaker 2: first you know, conversation on this podcast, it was so
Speaker 2: much of the things that I said, you know, we're
Speaker 2: in honor of her, and conversations that I've had with
Speaker 2: her they gave and shot at her out in the book.
Speaker 2: I was just like, Ali, yeah, I just I wouldn't
Speaker 2: have believed in my depth if it wasn't for her,
Speaker 2: just really calmly next to me, being like, you're good,
Speaker 2: you got this, you have it too, and me vice
Speaker 2: versa with you know, wearing that dress or doing those
Speaker 2: you know, more of those exterior things of like not
Speaker 2: like the time is now, like put on that dress,
Speaker 2: let's get your like just caring so much so that
Speaker 2: it's okay to care about it, because I think when
Speaker 2: you're so vulnerable about a specific attribute that you don't
Speaker 2: feel confident in, you almost want to pretend not to
Speaker 2: care about it because you're like, ah, like I don't
Speaker 2: care about how I look her. It's fine, I don't
Speaker 2: care if I know math or whatever. But it's actually
Speaker 2: where you care deeply.
Speaker 4: But you're also like I should say, Alexis is like
Speaker 4: a genie, and she makes her friend streams her dreams.
Speaker 4: Like she went to a corporate company to the head,
Speaker 4: marched on his office and said, you're going to hire
Speaker 4: my friend, and how do you?
Speaker 3: Was there?
Speaker 4: Actually there was no position, like this didn't exist, and
Speaker 4: she convinced this owner of a really successful company to
Speaker 4: just create a position for her friend because she was
Speaker 4: in an unhealthy job setting. And so Alexis just does
Speaker 4: this for everyone. Like our other friend almost lost her
Speaker 4: script and she was calling eight different agents. She's just
Speaker 4: really supportive. And I think that's the beauty is she's
Speaker 4: the archetype of the ruler, which means she serves her people,
Speaker 4: and so she makes everyone's dreams belong to her. And
Speaker 4: I think that's the key, is like you have to
Speaker 4: nurture your friend's dreams like they're your own too.
Speaker 2: And the mudicians, so tell them, tell them a little
Speaker 2: bit about that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we've done.
Speaker 2: This actually with the community.
Speaker 4: There's there's a book by Carol Pearson and I think
Speaker 4: it's called the Twelve Archetypes or something that but if
Speaker 4: you look.
Speaker 2: At them, thank you.
Speaker 4: But it goes to the twelve major archetypes within our
Speaker 4: subconscious and a lot of it is based on Carl
Speaker 4: Jung's psychology, and I personally love storytelling in fairy tales
Speaker 4: as a way to translate wisdom. And so there's this
Speaker 4: book called erth c as well, where this young sorcerer
Speaker 4: releases a demon shadow into the world, and the way
Speaker 4: that he stops it is he gives it his own name.
Speaker 4: And so by naming the shadow, it ceases to have power.
Speaker 4: And when you use these kind of archetypes, rather than
Speaker 4: clinging to one identity of like I am this, I
Speaker 4: am that, I'm a Pisces, I'm a you know, Capricorn, whatever.
Speaker 2: It is, I'm a three.
Speaker 4: And he's like, this is the aspect of my subconscious
Speaker 4: that I'm wielding right now with this different archetype, And
Speaker 4: so it creates more compassionate understanding, and to me, it
Speaker 4: also helps me name my shadow a lot clearer.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and that's why I love the archetypes, because
Speaker 2: it's you're never one. It's just what you're building with
Speaker 2: right now. So you could go back and look, Okay,
Speaker 2: the orphan archetype needs more work, or you were saying, America,
Speaker 2: actually the lard we have the most connection to the
Speaker 2: orphan archetype because we all kind of come here for
Speaker 2: this dream or come here from other places, and it's
Speaker 2: kind of the like do I belong here? Where do
Speaker 2: I belong? So I think different countries to also build
Speaker 2: on different archetypes depending on their culture. So it's really interesting.
Speaker 2: And what I found the most funny about all of
Speaker 2: this was the ruler and the magician have this really
Speaker 2: interesting relationship. It's the most volatile pairing.
Speaker 3: I love that because so.
Speaker 4: Look at King Arthur and Merlin. That's a great example.
Speaker 4: They're equally important to each other. But the downfall of
Speaker 4: that would be like a tyrant king I think Geoffrey
Speaker 4: from Game of Thrones or something, and then ja'far from Aladdin.
Speaker 2: It's the evil sorcerer and then the wicked ruler.
Speaker 4: And so we hold each other accountable in that way
Speaker 4: if we're sitting at two opposite ends of this power spectrum,
Speaker 4: and we keep each other from slipping into like evil
Speaker 4: sorcer and tyyrant.
Speaker 2: Whenever we're having a disagreement, I'm like, am I being
Speaker 2: a tired Okay, we're just gonna write a letter like
Speaker 2: please don't unname me.
Speaker 4: But I just love looking at people like characters and
Speaker 4: books because it creates so much more compassion, because if
Speaker 4: you had a perfect character, it would be really boring
Speaker 4: to read about. You know. It's all those idiosyncrasies that
Speaker 4: make them so unique.
Speaker 2: So I think that helps too, And that's why I
Speaker 2: think that's truly like her perception of that is why
Speaker 2: I've loved myself so much, because all of these little
Speaker 2: quirks I've had, She's like, keep going, keep doing it.
Speaker 2: Like she'll give me the little check mark in a
Speaker 2: conversation with people and I'll just go off. And I
Speaker 2: love it because she kind of gives me permission. She's
Speaker 2: a little permission slip to just, yeah, lean into those
Speaker 2: quirky parts of me that I felt for a really
Speaker 2: long time I needed to like hold back and keep tight.
Speaker 2: And that's been really cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And it's really cool too because her fantasy book, she
Speaker 2: put a character in for me, and that was really
Speaker 2: cool as well, because reading it, I was like, One,
Speaker 2: I'm immortalized, which is crazy. Two I'm awesome, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: is this how you perceive me? Yes. Now, whenever someone says, oh,
Speaker 2: Run's my favorite character in Ali's book, I'm like.
Speaker 1: What I love about? What it's bringing out for me.
Speaker 1: Going back to the question of envy, is that what
Speaker 1: I found is that when you understand your place and
Speaker 1: your pace of growth, which is the archetype, and when
Speaker 1: you understand someone else's place and their pace of growth,
Speaker 1: it allows you to be non envious because it allows
Speaker 1: you to see that you're moving at your own pace
Speaker 1: and you have a place forever, and that that person
Speaker 1: does too. And I find that the reason we experience
Speaker 1: env is because we don't know where we stand and
Speaker 1: we kind of like where someone else stands, even though
Speaker 1: that may not be the platform for us to be on.
Speaker 1: And so it's this constant tug in war between I
Speaker 1: like this person, but I also want to be like them,
Speaker 1: and actually, not only do I want to be like them,
Speaker 1: I don't want them to be liked that much. And
Speaker 1: that's where envy kind of takes over so much of
Speaker 1: a friendship. So I'm so glad you talked about the
Speaker 1: archetypes a little bit. Is there a test that people
Speaker 1: can take, Like, if people want to understand the archetype,
Speaker 1: how would you suggest they go about that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, Carol Pearson has a website and then if you
Speaker 4: get the book too, it's in the book.
Speaker 2: It's a large books.
Speaker 4: It's a huge book for a textbook, but I like
Speaker 4: it because it's it's fluid. You know, it's not as
Speaker 4: awakening the heroes awakening all right.
Speaker 3: If anyone's listening. And I love that.
Speaker 1: And you've been teaching that in Warriors as well. That's
Speaker 1: been something that you've been sharing with your community.
Speaker 2: Literally anything, we'll just like pick up a book or
Speaker 2: we'll have a conversation. I mean, I remember I was
Speaker 2: literally last week when to her crying about not going
Speaker 2: to say on this podcast. But I was like, and
Speaker 2: then she's slowly like, I'm going to write the Warrior
Speaker 2: Workshop and what was it? Navigating the unknown?
Speaker 4: There's been so many times when we've just created workshops
Speaker 4: around what we're personally experienced because it's resonance, and so yeah,
Speaker 4: we'll make workshops around anything that feels very alive in
Speaker 4: the moment, because I find the girls are often going
Speaker 4: through similar things in their own way.
Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about that, Actually, what would you say,
Speaker 1: having built this community, You've had thousands of women who've
Speaker 1: been a part of this community.
Speaker 3: It's growing.
Speaker 1: If you had to pick and I know this is
Speaker 1: a hard exercise, but I want to do it for
Speaker 1: the basis of our conversation today. If you had to
Speaker 1: pick the top three challenges, and we'll just start with
Speaker 1: the top one challenge that you hear, would you feel
Speaker 1: is that the root of so many women's challenges in
Speaker 1: your community, and of course broader than that too.
Speaker 3: What is that? One?
Speaker 1: Two, three? What are those three things? In no particular order,
Speaker 1: but what would you say those themes are that are
Speaker 1: holding women back, that they're constantly perplexed by, that they
Speaker 1: are feeling limited restricted by.
Speaker 3: What would they be?
Speaker 2: The first one that came to my mind is really
Speaker 2: knowing and understanding your own femininity, because I think this
Speaker 2: is especially in America, it's very like masculine dominated to
Speaker 2: build your empire, blah blah blah, and I think we
Speaker 2: get as females, get really lost in that because the female,
Speaker 2: you know, energy is to attract and the male energy
Speaker 2: is to like make happen, and both are needed, but
Speaker 2: so many girls they kind of spin out, even just
Speaker 2: from a biological level, you know, there's we're a different
Speaker 2: person every single week. Then they feel like they have
Speaker 2: to like push down the doors the way with that
Speaker 2: masculine energy forever and they're exhausted, being like, is this
Speaker 2: live in my dream life? And I'm like, no, it's
Speaker 2: just a belief you're having that's probably not helping you.
Speaker 2: And so we kind of will help them break down
Speaker 2: what those beliefs are. But it usually has to do
Speaker 2: with them not honoring their feminity in some way, shape
Speaker 2: or form, and we have to remind each other of
Speaker 2: that because even with the podcast, like this idea of
Speaker 2: divine timing has been so helpful because when I, you know,
Speaker 2: went into more of the business side of things, it
Speaker 2: was like, there's a deadline we have, but no, now,
Speaker 2: even when it didn't feel good, we would just kind
Speaker 2: of stick to these deadlines. But with the podcast, it
Speaker 2: was like, we're gonna launch this month, No we're not. Okay,
Speaker 2: keep it moving, and we just kind of kept waiting
Speaker 2: and waiting and waiting until yeah, you're in conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 2: And we just kind of waited until it was the
Speaker 2: right moment at the right time, and all all of
Speaker 2: the you know, components came together so beautifully, and so
Speaker 2: that was what that's when I was like, Okay, there's
Speaker 2: this theme happening here. And even with the girls as well.
Speaker 2: There's this theme of kind of running up to this
Speaker 2: wall and then trying to push it, as opposed to
Speaker 2: letting the opening of the cave, you know, come through
Speaker 2: and then walking it. So I think that's definitely one.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that together.
Speaker 1: I think that's such a huge one and I'm fascinated
Speaker 1: by it. How does someone start to embrace or encourage
Speaker 1: their feminine energy in a world that's a masculine dominant
Speaker 1: or at least would you describe it as the masculine
Speaker 1: storyline has been Yeah.
Speaker 2: It's more the storyline. I think it's just you have
Speaker 2: to break down the beliefs. So you have to understand
Speaker 2: what beliefs your It's like the car or what beliefs,
Speaker 2: what wheels the let's say the beliefs are the wheels,
Speaker 2: like what is driving you down that way? And then
Speaker 2: once you understand, okay, that's those are the beliefs that
Speaker 2: have been manifesting this creation, this life. What are the
Speaker 2: beliefs that I would like to have? I still remember
Speaker 2: I was with a friend and we were walking around
Speaker 2: a pond one day and she was like, remember when
Speaker 2: we believed things had to be hard? And I was like,
Speaker 2: I know, so it. You know, belief is a thought
Speaker 2: that you just have over and over and over again
Speaker 2: until you think it's just your life and it's ingrained
Speaker 2: into you and it's permanent, when it's really not. So
Speaker 2: part of that has been just showing people and acting
Speaker 2: is taught a lot for me. I've learned so much
Speaker 2: about this for acting where I'm like, that's actually you
Speaker 2: were so much more fluid, And it really is just
Speaker 2: breaking down what these really tall structures are and then
Speaker 2: chiseling at them just little by little, and it probably
Speaker 2: not all at once. We usually take like one solid
Speaker 2: belief that they have and then either make a workshop
Speaker 2: from that and break it down even more. But that
Speaker 2: for sure is definitely a way.
Speaker 1: As a creator, my goal is to try and make
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Speaker 1: have made over seven billion dollars. What are some of
Speaker 1: those beliefs, Sally, maybe as well that you think are
Speaker 1: those restricting feminine energy and kind of blocking the women
Speaker 1: from their potential in the community.
Speaker 4: I think beauty is a huge one, actually, because beauty
Speaker 4: has provided security for women for thousands of years, primarily
Speaker 4: just you know, if you become this attractive thing, then
Speaker 4: you'll find a mate that can protect you. And so
Speaker 4: people call it, you know, a surface level or whatever
Speaker 4: it might be. But there is like this primal hardware,
Speaker 4: secure purity that we're raging against in a way. And
Speaker 4: I used to live in a house full of musicians
Speaker 4: and there was this one guy who could just belt,
Speaker 4: like from the bottom of his soul, and another girl
Speaker 4: in the house who could sing so beautifully, but she's
Speaker 4: sang very softly, like she was singing into a bottle.
Speaker 4: And she finally turns to him and she goes, how
Speaker 4: do you sing that way? Like I know that's in me,
Speaker 4: but I can't get there. And he says, make an
Speaker 4: ugly face, and she makes this like cute little ugly face,
Speaker 4: and he said, I said, make a real ugly face,
Speaker 4: and she does, and he said, that's where you need
Speaker 4: to sing from. And then she did, and her voice
Speaker 4: cracked a little, but she belted. And so it's that
Speaker 4: we need permission to kind of break out of this
Speaker 4: porcelain suit that we walk around in nowadays, because that's
Speaker 4: where our power comes from.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's so powerful.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's I feel like all of us can
Speaker 1: relate to that in so many ways, and I feel
Speaker 1: like it's so difficult. It goes back to what Alexis
Speaker 1: was saying earlier, that you've given her the permission to
Speaker 1: have all these quirks and be all of her. And
Speaker 1: I've definitely had that where I feel the people who
Speaker 1: know me the deepest and the most well will say
Speaker 1: to me, Jay, one of the things I love about
Speaker 1: you is I get to talk to you about spirituality, business,
Speaker 1: and media, and there's not many people I could talk
Speaker 1: to about all three of those things, and that's like
Speaker 1: the most It's one of those moments whenever I hear
Speaker 1: that from someone who spent a lot of time with
Speaker 1: me and spend deep time with me, I feel so
Speaker 1: seen because I want to be all those things, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate all those things, and I admire all those things.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about my monk life as much
Speaker 1: as I want to talk about media, as much as
Speaker 1: I want to talk about marketing like and H and
Speaker 1: I love all of it and I am all of
Speaker 1: it and all of it is me. But I find
Speaker 1: often that I'm forced to choose a box to put
Speaker 1: myself in. It's like, oh, you can either be spiritual
Speaker 1: or your material, or you can either be like you're saying,
Speaker 1: you can either be this porcelain doll, or you can
Speaker 1: be ugly or whatever like that, there's a choice there
Speaker 1: that all of a sudden like diff finds who you are.
Speaker 1: Talk to me about some of the practices you both
Speaker 1: have developed. I definitely want to talk about the journal
Speaker 1: as well, but talk to me about some of the
Speaker 1: practices you've developed, because we all know, all three of
Speaker 1: us know that this isn't as simple as just standing
Speaker 1: in front of the mirror and saying things to yourself.
Speaker 1: That's a part of it. But it's like, this is
Speaker 1: a deep, subconscious belief that we're having to rewire, and
Speaker 1: we're doing it at the same time while the propaganda
Speaker 1: and the broadcasting from the world around us is so
Speaker 1: strongly the other way. And so walk me through some
Speaker 1: of the exercises, maybe some of them that are in
Speaker 1: the journal that you love, some that you've practiced. You
Speaker 1: both keep talking about letters, and I know the journal
Speaker 1: is full of letters. So just maybe give me a
Speaker 1: couple of insights and steps and principles eats that you
Speaker 1: feel have been profound for your own journey, or maybe
Speaker 1: you even have stories of people that you've helped that
Speaker 1: they've practiced some of these techniques.
Speaker 2: I feel like all these practices sound like, oh, roll
Speaker 2: my eyes, Okay, fine, I'll write a little five minute
Speaker 2: journal gratitude whatever. Like you think they're not important, but
Speaker 2: when you actually apply them, it's like, whoa a doctor McCall,
Speaker 2: he's this wonderful natopathic doctor. Or that we had on
Speaker 2: the podcast, he was talking about a way to kind
Speaker 2: of deal with a trigger in real time, because I
Speaker 2: think every time there's a trigger, there's a little blockage
Speaker 2: that happens in our body, and disease is the you know,
Speaker 2: physical manifestation of all of these different triggers getting blocked
Speaker 2: in no way out. And one of the things that
Speaker 2: he said in his book was the second that someone
Speaker 2: triggers you, you have to immediately think back and just
Speaker 2: be like, okay, why did that trigger me? Go to
Speaker 2: the little the child's self, and then have a quick
Speaker 2: in the moment, even if you're with them, you literally
Speaker 2: have to do it in my brain. I'm just like, okay,
Speaker 2: why did that trigger me? For instance, I was in
Speaker 2: the car with a friend and there was my car
Speaker 2: went off and saying that there was a flat tire
Speaker 2: and it was the second time this month, and I
Speaker 2: was just like ooh, and I braced myself for this
Speaker 2: really stressful situation that we were going to have, and
Speaker 2: my friend was just like, oh well, and I was like,
Speaker 2: and that triggered me that he was so calm about it.
Speaker 2: And then I asked myself, why am I triggered by
Speaker 2: this tire that it's going to be fine? And then
Speaker 2: I'm also double trigger that he was so calm about it.
Speaker 2: And I realized because my household was so chaotic, that
Speaker 2: one more thing would have blown up the whole, like
Speaker 2: just it was just a compilation of triggers, and we
Speaker 2: the electricity went out and this went out, and so
Speaker 2: all of these tiny little things created this huge explosion
Speaker 2: in my childhood. And so I had this moment where
Speaker 2: I just held myself and I was like, it's okay.
Speaker 2: Your family's reactions to these little bad things happening was
Speaker 2: not valid. It wasn't okay for you to see that
Speaker 2: much stress with something that was so easy to fix.
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry, and you're scene and your love and
Speaker 2: it was the first time where the trigger went away
Speaker 2: instantly and didn't store into my body. So I think
Speaker 2: that was that's been the most transformational thing I've found
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: I love Yeah, while you were talking about that, I
Speaker 1: can think of so many scenarios where I can see
Speaker 1: that as being practical and useful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it has to you have to do it
Speaker 2: the moment.
Speaker 3: We don't want to do it because you're.
Speaker 2: Like, I'm just triggering. I want to sit in the
Speaker 2: hurt because it's.
Speaker 3: Valid Yeah, yeah, I know. I love that.
Speaker 4: I think whatever I get validated for the most in
Speaker 4: life becomes my porcelain suit.
Speaker 2: And so for a while, oh so good. I was
Speaker 2: the deep one, and so I couldn't be funny.
Speaker 4: I was like, let me speak and bumper sticker and
Speaker 4: be as spiritual as possible because that's how I belong.
Speaker 2: And so it's about making the ugly face for me.
Speaker 4: And I had this poetry mentor and I first started
Speaker 4: doing spoken word and I was trying to sound very
Speaker 4: melodic and he said, I want you to scream, and
Speaker 4: I screamed the poem and he starts smacking me with
Speaker 4: a pillow and he's like, now jump up and down
Speaker 4: and wave your arms.
Speaker 2: I'm like, this feels so bad. I don't feel cool
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 4: And that was the point, was to just kind of
Speaker 4: slip out of my cool so I could tap into
Speaker 4: what was really honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's such a I mean, I can relate
Speaker 1: to that. So that to so many guests where I
Speaker 1: just felt like, I just feel like everyone's just waiting
Speaker 1: for me to say something. And at one point I
Speaker 1: really carried it as a weight where I realized I
Speaker 1: stopped listening to people because I was just thinking in
Speaker 1: my head what to say. And then I realized that
Speaker 1: not only was I never going to say something profound
Speaker 1: if I didn't listen, but that maybe sometimes the most
Speaker 1: profound thing to do was to listen.
Speaker 3: Like that was it, like it didn't even need a word.
Speaker 1: And I remember a famous statement by Saint Francis where
Speaker 1: he said that you should preach wherever you go and
Speaker 1: if necessary, open your mouth.
Speaker 3: And I love that.
Speaker 1: It's like that idea of just like you know, we
Speaker 1: always feel like, yes, saying the thing is is the thing,
Speaker 1: and it's like, well, no, just being present and just
Speaker 1: listening and just being there and like you just said,
Speaker 1: like holding yourself internally during a trigger.
Speaker 3: It's not like you had to say something or repeat something.
Speaker 2: You get a high off of the wisdom, and then
Speaker 2: you don't actually integrate it. At least for me for
Speaker 2: a while, whenever I would hear something profound out of
Speaker 2: my own mouth or I would I would be like
Speaker 2: cos and write it down, and then it just kind
Speaker 2: of became a game as opposed to real integration. I
Speaker 2: can so relate to that, and I resonate so deeply
Speaker 2: with what you're saying about just trying to make something
Speaker 2: profound in life changing because me and Ali personally are exhausted.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be profound fun and then have
Speaker 2: a good conversation and if it happens, it happens. It doesn't,
Speaker 2: it doesn't, But like letting it be what it is,
Speaker 2: as opposed to trying to put the moment in a box.
Speaker 1: In a way, I've seen that with all my friends
Speaker 1: who are you know, successful comedians. I'm sure we have
Speaker 1: people in common, like they just feel the pressure that
Speaker 1: if they're not funny at dinner, and they're not funny
Speaker 1: at breakfast, and they're not funny at lunch, it's like
Speaker 1: people are going to think, oh, you're not that funny,
Speaker 1: You're not that interesting, and they're like, well, no, there's
Speaker 1: so much more to me. And it's giving yourself that
Speaker 1: permission and also recognizing we live in a society where
Speaker 1: it's like we think when we meet a dentist, they're
Speaker 1: analyzing our teeth, like that's all they must think about today.
Speaker 3: And they're not.
Speaker 1: They're not thinking about that, and and but we are.
Speaker 1: And I think that's such an important that's such an
Speaker 1: important tool and principle. I remember when Russ came on
Speaker 1: the podcast. He talks about how when all of his
Speaker 1: squad and his crew would come into the studio, he
Speaker 1: would try and act cool, and he'd make the worst music.
Speaker 1: And so he said his favorite thing to do was
Speaker 1: get everyone out the studio and make weird sounds into
Speaker 1: the microphone and stand in weird places and do really
Speaker 1: strange things, kind of like what you're saying, because he
Speaker 1: said that was the only way I could break the mold,
Speaker 1: because if my friends were in there, I was just
Speaker 1: trying to look and sound cool. And I think everyone
Speaker 1: has their version of it, whether you're a rapper, whether
Speaker 1: you're a teacher or a guide, or whether you're.
Speaker 2: Acting as well like me and my friends, we like
Speaker 2: host little acting classes, just the three of us. But
Speaker 2: like one of these acting techniques that we do is
Speaker 2: just like follow your little child self, Like if you
Speaker 2: want to lay down, if you want to look at
Speaker 2: yourself the mirror, if you want to jump up down.
Speaker 2: It's like knowing what those intuitive pulses are is what
Speaker 2: gets you into that flow state. But if you don't
Speaker 2: know what it is, and because everyone's different in their
Speaker 2: own way and how they pull out the creativity or
Speaker 2: the profoundness or the flow state, whatever it is. I
Speaker 2: think that's what's so almost ironic about this whole, the
Speaker 2: whole spiritual journey, because it's realizing that it was just
Speaker 2: supposed to be fun and oh we were just supposed
Speaker 2: to be children all along, just like kind of playing
Speaker 2: with it and having fun and taking all of that
Speaker 2: weight and knowledge off of it so then wisdom can integrate,
Speaker 2: because that was literally our entire life like for the
Speaker 2: last two years has just been like, oh.
Speaker 1: Fun, yeah, what What's something else would you say that
Speaker 1: the community struggles with? So we started with that big
Speaker 1: one is what else is there? What else comes up
Speaker 1: for people?
Speaker 4: I mean just basic adult things like how to regulate
Speaker 4: your own nervous system and do taxes. You know, I
Speaker 4: don't know why those are the two most valuable things
Speaker 4: as an adult in modern society.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, you need to know, but I.
Speaker 4: Feel like you're not really prepared for life and traditional schooling,
Speaker 4: and so that's a huge passion. It's just you know,
Speaker 4: bringing on financial educators, bringing on breathwork teachers, meditation teachers,
Speaker 4: and really just handing tools to these women. It's the
Speaker 4: teacher man a fish story, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's the that's the difference. It's like,
Speaker 2: we're not coming on here being a therapist. We're just
Speaker 2: coming on here being big sisters, being like, here are
Speaker 2: the right questions so you can get to your answers,
Speaker 2: but that you have to learn how to get there yourself,
Speaker 2: because that's what being a leader is. And that's what's
Speaker 2: so cool because then on the reverse end of that,
Speaker 2: watching girls go from seventeen to twenty two years old
Speaker 2: and seeing that growth, it is the most fulfilling thing ever.
Speaker 2: Just knowing that our work with some of our girls
Speaker 2: will go on to their parenting and their life partners
Speaker 2: and the people around them and their friends, and it's
Speaker 2: just it's incredible to see the ripple effect of that
Speaker 2: deeper work. It's so cool because we're like our warriors
Speaker 2: are kind of like little light bulbs just glowing walking
Speaker 2: around the earth, you know, spreading what it means to
Speaker 2: live a fulfilled life and not be afraid of that desire.
Speaker 1: And it's amazing you're working with women as young as seventeen,
Speaker 1: and yeah, that's incredible. I love that people are starting
Speaker 1: that early and doing the work and finding that mentorship
Speaker 1: and advice because I feel like we're all trying to
Speaker 1: come to as early as we possibly can.
Speaker 2: Then I know, it's like that's a competition itself. That's
Speaker 2: something that I've noticed too, is a lot of people
Speaker 2: who are older than me, not by much, but they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I wish I had that wisdom when I was your age,
Speaker 2: And I was like, it's not a competition, it's really not,
Speaker 2: because this information, this knowledge, this wisdom sometimes weighed me
Speaker 2: down as to what you were saying, because then it
Speaker 2: put me in this box that I need to always
Speaker 2: fill and make sure people see and value me in
Speaker 2: that box. And for a while, for me, it was
Speaker 2: beauty and looks and like that felt so like Okay,
Speaker 2: this is this is my little value box. I'm sit
Speaker 2: in here and do the best that I can and
Speaker 2: like work and be the best of that that I
Speaker 2: can be. Being so afraid of not being loved when
Speaker 2: you know, I had a pimple, which it sounds so silly,
Speaker 2: but it's so deeply rooted into us. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: like the experience being human in all different ways. But
Speaker 2: what I've noticed too is when you finally realize you're
Speaker 2: in a box, you're like, I'll just get a bigger box.
Speaker 2: I just jumped to bigger boxes. And that's why, like
Speaker 2: you know, when we were talking about spoken word and poetry,
Speaker 2: it's like I wrote that one poem about paradoxes and
Speaker 2: how it's kind of just like it's both. It's not
Speaker 2: this or that, it's always going to be both. And
Speaker 2: that's why when you're looking for another box, you're already
Speaker 2: in the wrong. Because for a while I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: if I don't want to be valued for just my looks,
Speaker 2: then I'm going to do this and I'm going to
Speaker 2: get into business. And I just added more boxes. I
Speaker 2: didn't really evolve. But the beautiful thing about growth is
Speaker 2: sometimes the outside doesn't have to change for the growth
Speaker 2: to happen. And I think that's what was so cool
Speaker 2: is when I realized, like, hey, I actually love dressing
Speaker 2: up and being beautiful and feeling beautiful and validating my
Speaker 2: friends for wanting to do that too, and telling them
Speaker 2: to wear that up and telling them that we're going
Speaker 2: out having all that, and knowing that it's coming from
Speaker 2: this pure twelve year old, like just homeschooled girl that
Speaker 2: you know, had nowhere to go, but just love fashion
Speaker 2: so much that she wanted to make it happen. And
Speaker 2: so externally nothing has changed, but my why has been
Speaker 2: integrated so deeply that it feels now light and exciting
Speaker 2: and happy. And then also understanding that wisdom itself comes
Speaker 2: from those life experiences, and then also trusting that wisdom
Speaker 2: can come from peace as well. I think for a
Speaker 2: really long time I was I thought, Okay, if my
Speaker 2: life isn't chaotic and there isn't these big lessons or
Speaker 2: these things happening, that I'm not evolving, And then that
Speaker 2: was just a belief I had. But when I realized
Speaker 2: I could evolve and be in peace and go through
Speaker 2: these motions and actually learn some of the deepest lessons
Speaker 2: from the simplest of things. That's when I got exciting again,
Speaker 2: because I didn't have to be on a rollercoaster anymore.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, thank god.
Speaker 3: You've reminded me of something I wanted to read it.
Speaker 1: I just brought it up here because we're all on
Speaker 1: the same page about this idea of just we've got
Speaker 1: to be able to look at our ugly side, our
Speaker 1: dark side, our shadows. So we've got to be able
Speaker 1: to look at the subconscious and rewire our beliefs. We've
Speaker 1: got to be able to then take action on it
Speaker 1: outside and like you just beautifully said, like we do
Speaker 1: just end up looking for bigger boxes or more boxes
Speaker 1: to define ourselves. But I think often what's not talked
Speaker 1: about is the discomfort in those transitions and how hard
Speaker 1: it is to go from someone who says, well, all
Speaker 1: I'm valued for is for my looks. Now I'm going
Speaker 1: to get into business. And it reminded me of this speech,
Speaker 1: and that's why I want to read parts of it.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to find the right part. This was
Speaker 1: a Taylor Swift speech, and I believe it was at
Speaker 1: the Billboard Awards years ago. Now it was a long
Speaker 1: long time ago, but it was so powerful. I've seen
Speaker 1: the video for it, and she said, let me just
Speaker 1: find the exact part. So Taylor Swift said, And now
Speaker 1: I realized that this is just what happens to a
Speaker 1: woman in music if she achieved success or power beyond
Speaker 1: people's comfort level. I now have come to expect that
Speaker 1: with good news comes some sort of pushback. But I
Speaker 1: didn't know that then. So then I decided that I
Speaker 1: would be the only songwriter on my third album, Speak Now,
Speaker 1: and that I would talk constantly, work on my vocals
Speaker 1: every day, and perfect my stamina in the live show.
Speaker 1: I decided I would be what they said I couldn't be.
Speaker 1: I didn't know then that soon enough people would decide
Speaker 1: on something else I wasn't quite doing right, and the
Speaker 1: circle would keep going on and on and rolling along,
Speaker 1: and I would keep accommodating over correcting in an effort
Speaker 1: to appease my critics. They're saying I'm dating too much
Speaker 1: in my twenties. Okay, I'll stop and just be single
Speaker 1: for years now. They're saying my album Red is filled
Speaker 1: with too many breakup songs. Okay, I'll make one about
Speaker 1: moving to New York and deciding that really, my life
Speaker 1: is more fun with just friends. Okay, they're saying my
Speaker 1: music is changing too much for me to stay in
Speaker 1: country music, all right. Okay, here's an entire genre shift
Speaker 1: and a pop album called nineteen eighty nine.
Speaker 3: Oh you heard it? Sick.
Speaker 1: Now it's that I'm showing you too many pictures of
Speaker 1: me with my friends. Okay, I can stop doing that too.
Speaker 1: Now I'm actually a calculated minute rather than a smart
Speaker 1: business woman. Okay, I'll disappear from public view for years.
Speaker 1: Now I'm being cast as a villain too. Okay, here's
Speaker 1: an album called Reputation, and there are lots of snakes everywhere.
Speaker 1: In the last ten years, I've watched as women in
Speaker 1: this industry are criticized and measured up to each other
Speaker 1: and picked out for their bodies and their romantic lives
Speaker 1: and their fashion. Or have you heard someone say about
Speaker 1: a male artist, I really like his songs, but I
Speaker 1: don't know what it is. There's just something about him
Speaker 1: I just don't like. No, that criticism is reserved for us.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Anyway, there's watching that video of the way she delivers
Speaker 1: that speech is so powerful, Like I.
Speaker 3: Didn't do it justice at all.
Speaker 1: It's really powerful, but I feel like it's that constant
Speaker 1: shape shifting that we all go through. It's like you
Speaker 1: found your porcelain doll version and then you've realized it
Speaker 1: wasn't you, so you decided to expand because you got
Speaker 1: criticized for perfecting that thing. And it's almost like we
Speaker 1: all go through that cycle where you practice something and
Speaker 1: everyone likes you, or you start something and everyone laughs
Speaker 1: at you. You practice something and everyone likes you and
Speaker 1: you perfect and then everyone criticizes you, and then you
Speaker 1: keep doing that on so many other levels. How do
Speaker 1: you help yourselves and help others go through those uncomfortable
Speaker 1: transitions because that moment you're being criticized for the thing
Speaker 1: you thought everyone wanted you to do all the thing
Speaker 1: that you thought you wanted to do is probably the hardest.
Speaker 3: Part of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it reminds me of what we were talking about
Speaker 2: with making me a hero or a villain, and.
Speaker 4: The opening my fantasy book, the first line is make
Speaker 4: me neither a hero nor a villain, both live within
Speaker 4: all of us. Make me into whatever you need, but
Speaker 4: don't take away my humanity by making a hero out
Speaker 4: of me.
Speaker 3: So good, I love that, and that's so true.
Speaker 2: It's true because like once you get it's just in
Speaker 2: our nature. When a person gets at a certain point,
Speaker 2: it's uncomfortable for everyone, and then it's like all right,
Speaker 2: time to pull them down from that level, pull the
Speaker 2: level ground.
Speaker 4: Also, no living thing does well under a microscope. I mean,
Speaker 4: I can't imagine if we all were judging each other's
Speaker 4: actions twenty four hours a day. And I think that's
Speaker 4: why the conversation about shape shifting and being fluid. Maybe
Speaker 4: your core essence is the same and your values remain
Speaker 4: the same, but whatever shape it takes, you know, life
Speaker 4: is a dance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that is part of the service
Speaker 1: for me too, is that? And I know you posted
Speaker 1: about this, Alexis. I thought you post something about this,
Speaker 1: like I think it was a year or two back,
Speaker 1: and it was a really thoughtful caption around what I
Speaker 1: can't remember the exact language you use, but this idea
Speaker 1: of what pseudo spirituality looks like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I remember that we went off about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just that idea of just like how I
Speaker 1: think part of it is. You know, I always grew
Speaker 1: up believing that spiritual people were poor and that materialistic
Speaker 1: people had things, and I was so wrong. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, spiritual people are abundant, like you know, it's
Speaker 1: it's such an important quality of a spiritual individual. And
Speaker 1: to me that became so much more prominent as I
Speaker 1: grew older and matured and recognized the value as opposed
Speaker 1: to this belief system that you know, you don't, you can't,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have anything, and you can't have anything, and
Speaker 1: you can't create value for others, and not realizing that
Speaker 1: we have a full team of people across the world
Speaker 1: who are all working on a mission, who are providing
Speaker 1: for their families because we are going out there and
Speaker 1: building something abundant.
Speaker 3: This isn't about me.
Speaker 1: This is about so many people being supported, and we
Speaker 1: often missed that in our world of I've just got
Speaker 1: to take care of myself and no one else.
Speaker 2: And so are you? Are you pretty good with balancing
Speaker 2: the feminine and masculine in yourself?
Speaker 1: I really want to talk about it with you too,
Speaker 1: So you're going to have to tell me whether I am,
Speaker 1: but you're going to have to teach us. And it's
Speaker 1: so funny because I've had three people in my life
Speaker 1: say something to me that when I first heard it,
Speaker 1: I was like, watch what you're saying, and then now, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: and now I'm like, no, that's me. So I've had
Speaker 1: three people say this to me over the last like
Speaker 1: eight years. Jay, you have the perfect balance of masculine
Speaker 1: and feminine in the way you approach life. And the
Speaker 1: first time I heard that, I was like, you what
Speaker 1: you know? And my masculine ones triggered. And then now
Speaker 1: I'm like, I really appreciate. I hope that's true, and
Speaker 1: I think I'm working on it. I think that's because
Speaker 1: I was raised by my mom and that's where the
Speaker 1: strong and my mom's actually in the house right now,
Speaker 1: she's visiting, but that's where the strong feminine energy came from.
Speaker 1: And at the same time, I have very masculine qualities, tendencies, drives, ambitions.
Speaker 1: But I'd love to understand more about the two through
Speaker 1: both of you, because I know this is a space
Speaker 1: you both talk about. I think our community would be
Speaker 1: so fascinated to hear about it from you, because I
Speaker 1: think we've started to think of the masculine feminine energy
Speaker 1: as gender and it's just getting complicated. So let's talk
Speaker 1: about it, and then you can tell me whether I
Speaker 1: am or not.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I should preface this with I'm not an
Speaker 4: expert or guru on this topic at all.
Speaker 2: I just love and experience life experience.
Speaker 4: I just also love reading books. But I would say
Speaker 4: the feminine is kind of built to navigate the unknown.
Speaker 4: Even in the way we bring life into the world.
Speaker 4: It's like we're bringing thing unknown into the known, and
Speaker 4: the masculine is really great at navigating the known.
Speaker 2: It's like the mind and the heart. You know.
Speaker 4: You can use your mind to analyze and decide what
Speaker 4: to do based on what's real and what's right in
Speaker 4: front of you here and now, but the mind can't
Speaker 4: future cast and figure things out. And yet the heart
Speaker 4: is what guides us blindly through these moments. And so
Speaker 4: that's kind of how I differentiate it. But it's obviously
Speaker 4: really complex subject with lots of layers.
Speaker 2: And I like, for me, I look at it as
Speaker 2: like nature, you know. I think, like the God is
Speaker 2: the masculine, and Mother Earth is the nature, and like,
Speaker 2: look how chaotic and like unforgiving but beautiful and incredible
Speaker 2: our nature is. And so I think it's like the
Speaker 2: two their lovers, they're they're a part of all of us.
Speaker 2: And so it's it's more of an energetic conversation as
Speaker 2: opposed to and it's and it's a way of being
Speaker 2: in the world. And for me, I naturally fall into
Speaker 2: my masculinity because I didn't have really much of a
Speaker 2: father growing up, and when my mom passed away, it
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, gotta like parent myself right now, like
Speaker 2: let's get it going, and like I can do this.
Speaker 2: And then she's she always falls really deep into her feminine.
Speaker 2: Like we always joke like I'm the husband, maybe wear that.
Speaker 2: But because I know that, and because I have that awareness,
Speaker 2: I balance myself out. I do things, for instance, with
Speaker 2: my physical body, I do things that are very feminine
Speaker 2: like ballet or yoga and slower pilates, Like I go
Speaker 2: slower because I know my internal natural reaction to life
Speaker 2: in general is more of a masculine. Like we're just
Speaker 2: going to both, like buldoze through this. Once you understand
Speaker 2: kind of your initial reactions to things, you'll understand, Okay,
Speaker 2: do I come from more of the feminine or do
Speaker 2: I come from more of the masculine? And learning to
Speaker 2: balance that obviously, it's just it's a journey, as is
Speaker 2: life and life is just the classroom that we're all
Speaker 2: just going to sit in for the rest of whatever
Speaker 2: this dimension is. And so I think the masculine and
Speaker 2: the feminine is one of is one of the bigger
Speaker 2: lessons that we have, because that's even in like the
Speaker 2: Hermetic Principles, it talks about the principle of gender and
Speaker 2: how there's always a masculine and feminine And it's not
Speaker 2: what you're saying. It's not black and white, it's not
Speaker 2: you know, the biology of it. It's truly like an
Speaker 2: energetic field that we use to navigate this universe and
Speaker 2: this dimension specifically. And then I want you to talk
Speaker 2: a little bit about how you've integrated the masculine in
Speaker 2: your life, because you've done a really good job at that.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I think when I was very extreme in my
Speaker 4: feminine it was very hard to actually use my will
Speaker 4: to create things where I would have an idea for
Speaker 4: a book, but I wouldn't write the book. And so
Speaker 4: integrating that I realized, oh, okay, the masculine is it's almost
Speaker 4: like a.
Speaker 2: Chariot that you can write. It'll get you where you
Speaker 2: need to go.
Speaker 3: Then you can get off.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then you can get off and you can rest,
Speaker 4: which I'm you know, we're working on in our modern culture.
Speaker 4: It's a little difficult to do nothing, but I try
Speaker 4: and weigh now what life is asking of me. Am
Speaker 4: I meant to bring my feminine energy into this moment?
Speaker 4: Am I meant to be patient and nurturing and navigate
Speaker 4: that unknown space? Or am I meant to use force
Speaker 4: and will? And you know it's like the door's not opening,
Speaker 4: let me kick it down.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Sometimes it's also nice to look at
Speaker 2: the energies as archetypes, like inside out. Yeah, have you
Speaker 2: seen the second.
Speaker 1: Go with you?
Speaker 2: Guys have seen it, I'll see together. I like the
Speaker 2: second one better than the first set. But what helps
Speaker 2: is it just once again with back with the archetypes.
Speaker 2: It helps kind of personify these different energies in us.
Speaker 2: And then we just like after inside out too, some
Speaker 2: profound stuff, guys. I had such compassion for my anxiety.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, my god, you've caught me so far.
Speaker 2: Thank you. You've literally exhausted my body, but thank you
Speaker 2: so much for getting me here and preparing me over preparation.
Speaker 2: My God, calm down, but thank you. And I felt
Speaker 2: such gratitude for her, and I also felt I felt
Speaker 2: love for anxiety for the first time in my life.
Speaker 2: And then through that, I think joy and anxiety. And
Speaker 2: I noticed this with my dog. We're on the way
Speaker 2: to the park. She's like so excited and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden, she has anxiety and she's whining and crying,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my god. Same. That's so true
Speaker 2: because it's such a it's such a similar energy. Even
Speaker 2: coming here. I'm like, I'm excited for this podcast, So
Speaker 2: you're not nervous, You're excited.
Speaker 1: I was just.
Speaker 2: But we get those energies mixed up. But they also
Speaker 2: they kind of service each other in a way, so
Speaker 2: that was really fun. It just it takes once again.
Speaker 2: I think our journey right now with our wisdom is
Speaker 2: taking off the weight of all of it and also
Speaker 2: not expecting it to come out with something profound every
Speaker 2: single time and just enjoying the moment for it. And
Speaker 2: I think when we personify those emotions, it gives us
Speaker 2: an opportunity to immediately giggle about it. Honestly, I think
Speaker 2: for us laughter has been it's everything, Like sometimes you
Speaker 2: just need a giggle, Like sometimes it's too soon, but
Speaker 2: I'm my goal. I know, I cracked jokes way too
Speaker 2: soon and everyone's just silent, and then someone goes that
Speaker 2: that was too soon. I'm oops. And then I wait
Speaker 2: another month and then I say an never one last,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, I'll figure out.
Speaker 3: Then when when did she tho?
Speaker 2: When is she for the stars? Land on the cloud?
Speaker 2: Doory guys? But you know it's it's it's so helpful
Speaker 2: to have just that comunic relief. And I think that too,
Speaker 2: like that's actually the fool archetype is what me and
Speaker 2: now we have been really implementing and love like the
Speaker 2: Jack Sparrow kind of just everything happens to you, one
Speaker 2: of my favorite characters, and just yeah, even like the
Speaker 2: Dunkin Trustle and the mister Brainwash and just like these
Speaker 2: people who have just kind of stumbled ass backward into
Speaker 2: like this divine life and it's like the legally blonde
Speaker 2: like what Like it's hard, just like unraveling all of
Speaker 2: these beliefs I had around success and abundance, like similar
Speaker 2: with you, where I'm like, oh, this can be fun
Speaker 2: and almost like a treasure hunt. My manager he's so cute.
Speaker 2: I love my manager to death. We're best friends.
Speaker 3: But he was.
Speaker 2: He was every time he calls me, he's like, guess what,
Speaker 2: and I'm like what, and he's like, so I found
Speaker 2: this ring and it was my dad's ring and it
Speaker 2: was a blue sapphire. And then I go over here
Speaker 2: and this psychic told me and he just like puts
Speaker 2: together all of these little clues and I stopped him,
Speaker 2: and I was like, it's so beautiful that you look
Speaker 2: at your life like this little treasure hunt to the
Speaker 2: divine and the fact that you look at it in
Speaker 2: that way is why it's unfolding in this beautiful fun
Speaker 2: like scavenge your hunting way. And it's just a belief
Speaker 2: he had. So I was like, I'm going to acquire
Speaker 2: this belief. If you don't mind, I'm going to take
Speaker 2: this from you. And ever since then, I've just been
Speaker 2: kind of taking on that full Jacksparre archetype of like
Speaker 2: just like fall in the shits you.
Speaker 3: Have, I love it.
Speaker 1: You know why that comes full circle because I totally
Speaker 1: just went to kuaiy So they shot one of the
Speaker 1: Jacksparao scenes on that beachom yeah exactly, yeah exactly, And
Speaker 1: so when I was there, that's all.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: You know, I love what you're talking about because I
Speaker 1: think what's really interesting about it is you're talking about
Speaker 1: the benefits of actually balancing masculine and feminine energy and
Speaker 1: how you both have seen value in both. And I
Speaker 1: think it's so strange because I think the conversation often
Speaker 1: shifts to, like, well, which one are you prioritizing? So
Speaker 1: how would you encourage people to think about their balancing
Speaker 1: of their masculine and feminine and how would you encourage
Speaker 1: them to kind of navigate that I guess the imbalance
Speaker 1: that they may have, because I I don't think most
Speaker 1: people are trying to think about the balance because we
Speaker 1: were thinking it's either all yeah, and we're thinking, all, well,
Speaker 1: masculine energy is what I need because that gets things done.
Speaker 1: But you're saying, well, what about rest and refuel and
Speaker 1: nourishment or in your case, you know, balancing your masculine
Speaker 1: energy with the feminine.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the first step is giving a lot
Speaker 2: of compassion to like once you find out, because I
Speaker 2: think too we look at spiritual growth in any capacity
Speaker 2: of like, when we weren't balanced or aligned, we failed.
Speaker 2: It's just like, no, like the contrast is there to
Speaker 2: show us the way, like there wouldn't be light without dart.
Speaker 2: It has to come together. It's both and so honoring. Okay,
Speaker 2: maybe I've been leaning into my masculine a little bit
Speaker 2: more and maybe it's been draining my body a lot
Speaker 2: because I've been trying to force things and make them
Speaker 2: happen and carve things out of nothing. And Okay, but
Speaker 2: that's also the reason that I'm here and safe and
Speaker 2: I've survived. So just really like thanking it for helping
Speaker 2: you survive and getting to where you are, because if
Speaker 2: we go still with that black and white way of
Speaker 2: thinking of oh, that's bad because I've been doing that
Speaker 2: and I'm not fulfilled, that's bad and it's like, no,
Speaker 2: you need it. You just need to understand how to
Speaker 2: integrate and incorporate it into your life. So I just
Speaker 2: I want, you know, if there's like a girl you
Speaker 2: know listening who's like, oh, you know, I would love
Speaker 2: to feel more feminine. I would love to, you know,
Speaker 2: have more of that fairy energy inside of me. First
Speaker 2: is recognizing and giving so much appreciation to that masculine
Speaker 2: that got you here, because it was there was probably
Speaker 2: a reason you leaned into the masculine. Our bodies are intelligent,
Speaker 2: our hearts are intelligent, and we lean into what we
Speaker 2: need to in order to survive. And so it's like
Speaker 2: this is incredible, but now it's time to not just
Speaker 2: survive anymore, and it's time to truly like get into
Speaker 2: that thriving and then you can look at it as in, now,
Speaker 2: how do I want to bring this feminine energy into it?
Speaker 2: So it's both they've been I mean even anxiety. She's
Speaker 2: just trying to keep me safe, Like she's just trying
Speaker 2: to keep me prepared for this interview, so I don't
Speaker 2: see something stupid, like she's just trying to help. You know,
Speaker 2: it's all there to assist you. This is all intelligently
Speaker 2: created divinely for you. And when you trust that, like
Speaker 2: that's always the belief I try to get girls too,
Speaker 2: It's like this is all divine. If you can trust
Speaker 2: that it's all divine, then any scenario that comes your way,
Speaker 2: you're gonna look for the growth because you're gonna because
Speaker 2: you know it's meant for you and you're not a
Speaker 2: victim anymore. So anything bad that happens, I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: what do we do? God? Like, how is this gonna
Speaker 2: you know, navigate. How is this going to assist my growth?
Speaker 2: Because it is, because this is a divine because I
Speaker 2: believe it.
Speaker 1: One thing you've raised there that I love is this
Speaker 1: idea of how we at one point start to hate things.
Speaker 3: That helped us survive. Yeah, and it's fascinating.
Speaker 1: It's like that saved you, that helped you, it got
Speaker 1: you to the other side, and now that it's no
Speaker 1: longer serving you, we feel like we wasted time. We
Speaker 1: hate it, we were wrong, we messed up. Rather than
Speaker 1: going that served me then and now I'll find the
Speaker 1: next thing to serve me, and I'll always honor that.
Speaker 1: I'll always have a space for that in my life.
Speaker 1: And it's a tool, it's a skill, it's a habit,
Speaker 1: it's a mindset. I can go back, but I don't
Speaker 1: have to now hate it and neglect it and negate
Speaker 1: it from having value.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or feel embarrassed.
Speaker 3: Feel embarrassed. Yeah, that's yeah, that's a common emotion.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I love that first of all, because I don't know,
Speaker 4: I mean, I actually I don't want to spoil inside out,
Speaker 4: but there's a really beautiful scene at the end it
Speaker 4: is I won't spoil it, but it's like the visual
Speaker 4: representation of what you just said, and it's really beautiful
Speaker 4: to look out for it. Okay, this is just an
Speaker 4: inside out ad.
Speaker 3: Apparently exactly sponsor us.
Speaker 2: It really is one of those brilliant movies.
Speaker 4: I try to look at things in storytelling and even
Speaker 4: archetypically I'm trying to do the opposite of my nature. Like,
Speaker 4: for example, let's say I really had an integrated ruler.
Speaker 2: The only one.
Speaker 4: That is just as powerful as the ruler said the
Speaker 4: magician would be the full because the fool can say
Speaker 4: anything to the king that he wants to not be beheaded,
Speaker 4: because that's his job to be funny and honest, and
Speaker 4: so he can poke it the king's ego in a
Speaker 4: way that no one else can. And so with the ruler,
Speaker 4: maybe you're more serious and stoic, but maybe you need
Speaker 4: to bring in some of the full archetype.
Speaker 2: And so it's the same with masculine and feminine.
Speaker 4: It's like, what is my impulse, my reactive step that
Speaker 4: I want to take, and can I actually try doing
Speaker 4: the opposite as an experiment and see what happens?
Speaker 1: And do you bring that in through other people or
Speaker 1: through activities you do yourself well both.
Speaker 2: Whatever the moment presents.
Speaker 4: You know, if I'm if I'm doing a poem and
Speaker 4: I've done it the same way a hundred times and
Speaker 4: it's gotten a great reaction, I'm like, well, let's let's yell.
Speaker 2: Let's yell and jump up and down and see.
Speaker 4: Because I think, to your point, we need the freedom
Speaker 4: to try new coping mechanisms. We need the freedom to fail.
Speaker 4: That's super important, not just for artists but people in general,
Speaker 4: is to not be so hard on ourselves to be
Speaker 4: perfect all the time.
Speaker 2: So I like being perfect time it's impossible. We're just.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just vo right, Yah.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We all love pretending. But it was one of the
Speaker 1: reasons why I did when I did my tour. You
Speaker 1: guys didn't come to my show last year, like one
Speaker 1: of the reasons I did my show in this style.
Speaker 1: I did it, and you can be honest with me
Speaker 1: about how you felt about it. But the reason I
Speaker 1: did it in the way I did was because I
Speaker 1: wanted to shake off that holier than thou I'm the teacher,
Speaker 1: I'm the guide.
Speaker 3: I wanted just that to just go.
Speaker 1: And so from the moment I came out, it was
Speaker 1: me making natural jokes, humor. Everything was just real. It
Speaker 1: was who I am in who I really believe I am,
Speaker 1: and on stage I feel like I can be three
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty degrees of who I am, which I
Speaker 1: can't always be in a video or a snapshot or
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. And if someone listens to the podcast,
Speaker 1: they get all of who I am, but it's on
Speaker 1: stage I can just totally let loose. My real goal
Speaker 1: of the show was to show people that they could
Speaker 1: do uncomfortable things. It wasn't that I could tell you
Speaker 1: the right thing and you could think I'm great. It's
Speaker 1: that you could see people like you. So I would
Speaker 1: take people from the audience and they would do some
Speaker 1: of the most incredible, uncomfortable things live on stage, and
Speaker 1: it was just random people from the audience that we
Speaker 1: hadn't prepared with. They weren't staged or casted. It was
Speaker 1: truly organic, and I loved it. It was beautiful because
Speaker 1: I was just amazed at the human spirit and resilience
Speaker 1: and grit, and at the same time I was able
Speaker 1: to make my audience the star of the show, so
Speaker 1: people would like There was one girl who came up
Speaker 1: and she said to me afterwards, she said, Jay, Like,
Speaker 1: literally I got ten people ran and hugged me after
Speaker 1: I told my story, or like after I came off stage,
Speaker 1: like I had seven people approached me and asked me
Speaker 1: to build community with me. And it was just amazing
Speaker 1: to kind of create that energy. And that's what it
Speaker 1: was for me. It's what you both just said. It
Speaker 1: was like I used it as a creative expression to say,
Speaker 1: I want to shake off those shackles of what I
Speaker 1: think people think of me.
Speaker 2: It's exactly what you did. And going back to this
Speaker 2: idea of instead of giving people the answer, it's more
Speaker 2: about presenting just more and more honest questions until they
Speaker 2: get there. That's exactly what you did on stage.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I had the balls seet up
Speaker 2: on that stage. My god, some of those people were
Speaker 2: so raised. Yeah, the one near there YouTube tha Yeah,
Speaker 2: And that was incredible because watching them transform through their
Speaker 2: own answers, like that's that's true just that's true power
Speaker 2: for an individual. So it was incredible to see that
Speaker 2: for you instead, because like, yeah, usually like a show
Speaker 2: like that would typically just be you sharing wisdom, but
Speaker 2: it felt so interactive. So I definitely saw that from
Speaker 2: my end of it as well. Definitely the Yeah.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you a bit about this
Speaker 1: journal you've built and created, because I think that you've
Speaker 1: thought about journals very differently. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: journals are very daily, and your journals feels like more
Speaker 1: like a journey that can kind of begin and wherever
Speaker 1: you want, which is beautiful. You both have talked about
Speaker 1: letters this whole time, Yeah, and you encourage letter writing
Speaker 1: as part of your journaling process. Walk me through your
Speaker 1: favorite journaling practice in there that could include a letter,
Speaker 1: may not include a letter that you're so excited for
Speaker 1: people to do and why they should do it, when
Speaker 1: they should do it, and what you hope they'll.
Speaker 3: Get out of it.
Speaker 2: One of my favorites is we have like a letter
Speaker 2: to Fear essentially, and it's basically you write a letter
Speaker 2: to fear and then the next you start asking its
Speaker 2: questions and you kind of start having this really beautiful,
Speaker 2: fluid conversation with fear. And our goal always is to
Speaker 2: get people out of this mindset of like bad good,
Speaker 2: because that is what shields us in all of these boxes.
Speaker 2: And so with the journal, it's just us sharing and
Speaker 2: hoping to just show you those honest answers that you
Speaker 2: guys give where you realize how it all assists you,
Speaker 2: even your fear, you know. And I also love the
Speaker 2: one where we even have you talk to death as well.
Speaker 2: We get into some because I think, you know, Ali
Speaker 2: points this out beautifully. She was like, you can never
Speaker 2: truly live if you haven't really faced death in some way,
Speaker 2: because that's what makes life so valuable and beautiful as
Speaker 2: knowing that this is temporary, and you also don't really know,
Speaker 2: like everything becomes clear, you know when when something of
Speaker 2: that nature happens, and so giving kind of people, Yeah,
Speaker 2: just a little bit of a plant medicine. I'm sure
Speaker 2: you be a journal and getting them very clear on
Speaker 2: what they want, because when you just ask, like what
Speaker 2: do you want? It becomes overwhelming you shut down. But
Speaker 2: when you start asking, hey, what have I been shielding
Speaker 2: myself from? What do I envy in people? What triggers
Speaker 2: me the most? Like those types of questions are going
Speaker 2: to get you to what you truly want and desire
Speaker 2: quicker than any of like more of the forthright coming answers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's just valuable to climb into perspectives
Speaker 4: other than your own.
Speaker 2: So there's one where.
Speaker 4: You write yourself a letter as though you're your mother
Speaker 4: or father on the day you're born.
Speaker 2: There's one where you talk to death. There's some one
Speaker 2: where you talk to fear.
Speaker 4: And it's just very important to step outside of yourself,
Speaker 4: especially in forgiveness work or you know, if you need
Speaker 4: to express anger, whatever it is. A journal is a
Speaker 4: place where everything gets to belong. There's something too ugly,
Speaker 4: it just has to be honest.
Speaker 2: That's really then also subconscious writing. That's been one of
Speaker 2: my favorite tools that we give them. We'll give there's
Speaker 2: like five or six just blank pages and basically we'll
Speaker 2: give you a subject and you have to write as
Speaker 2: fast as you can because it will quite literally get
Speaker 2: to your subconscious And acting coach actually did this with me.
Speaker 2: We're using my dad as a reference for the scene,
Speaker 2: and she was like, I want you to write as
Speaker 2: fast as you can about your dad. And by the
Speaker 2: tenth page, I was, you know, crying because I had
Speaker 2: all of these messages and things come through that I
Speaker 2: never knew was inside of me, because I finally got
Speaker 2: through that conscious mind back to the subconscious and it
Speaker 2: finally started talking to me. So you can subconscious write
Speaker 2: literally about anything, and that's that's why it's so powerful,
Speaker 2: because you could subconscious write without any intention and you'll
Speaker 2: still get to some light bulble moment because it's just finally,
Speaker 2: it's like meditation. You're writing as fast as your thoughts,
Speaker 2: so you can't really read it back. Who kind of
Speaker 2: gets all we're just like riding. Our warriors are like
Speaker 2: I can't feel my hand. They're just like, just keep going,
Speaker 2: but they always come to these incredible realizations. So that's
Speaker 2: definitely something I wish that you guys try at some point,
Speaker 2: whoever's listening. It's really it's an incredible gift. It's kind
Speaker 2: of like the morning pages from like the Artist's Way,
Speaker 2: but instead of you know, over analyzing what you're saying
Speaker 2: and if you're growing and is it working, you just
Speaker 2: you write so fast that there is you and you
Speaker 2: write the thoughts. So it's like the subconscious writing starts. Hey,
Speaker 2: I don't really want to do this, this is my
Speaker 2: hand's already aches. How am I gonna get? How am
Speaker 2: I gonna write? To head pages? You quite literally have
Speaker 2: to be super honest with exactly what's going through your brain,
Speaker 2: and that's how you get through.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that you both believe that most of us
Speaker 1: don't often connect with our subconscious or do we and
Speaker 1: do we not see the signs?
Speaker 3: How do you feel about I.
Speaker 1: Guess the question is does our subconscious ever try and
Speaker 1: communicate with us? Or is it something that we're always
Speaker 1: having to try and unlation unravel.
Speaker 4: I feel like we're ruled by what remains buried in us.
Speaker 4: And I do a lot of dream work with my friend.
Speaker 4: He's a great dream analyst, and he's his Carl Jung Again.
Speaker 4: I love Carlo clearly, but it's that it's a language,
Speaker 4: and I think if your subconscious knows you're you're speaking
Speaker 4: to it, it starts speaking back. I always personify it
Speaker 4: as a little monster when I feel like it's getting overactive,
Speaker 4: like if things are going really well, for example, my
Speaker 4: subconscious is waiting for the shoe to drop, and so
Speaker 4: it starts looking for things to upperlimit or panic about
Speaker 4: when everything's totally fine. And so I gave it a character.
Speaker 4: It's like this little ladybug, and I named it Bert
Speaker 4: because it removes the power. It's that process of naming
Speaker 4: something when you can just make it this funny little
Speaker 4: thing but I think if you can love your little
Speaker 4: monster it or love you back, and it will help
Speaker 4: you and be with you in your life versus ignoring it,
Speaker 4: then it starts to rule you and be in the
Speaker 4: driver's seat at least.
Speaker 2: That's how I similar with intuition actually too, Like once
Speaker 2: you start building that intuitive and understanding you're intuitive pulses,
Speaker 2: you start having a stronger and stronger relationship with it,
Speaker 2: and then it's like and it's just speed doll, Like
Speaker 2: I can connect with the intuition immediately and it's yeah,
Speaker 2: it's yeah. I think that was another really incredible thing
Speaker 2: that we had with the Warriors because we were like, okay,
Speaker 2: let's talk about intuition, and all the girls were like,
Speaker 2: but I don't what is my intuition? And I was like,
Speaker 2: oh wow, okay, first we need to figure out how
Speaker 2: to get you guys back to connecting with intuition and
Speaker 2: what that means for you, and then through that we
Speaker 2: can use intuition and workshops. But we had to even
Speaker 2: go back farther to be like, oh, okay, let's build
Speaker 2: a relationship first, because everything has relationships. Everything is a relationship,
Speaker 2: and it's always a two way street.
Speaker 3: I fully agree with you.
Speaker 1: We have a relationship with money, we have a relationship
Speaker 1: with food, we have a relationship with our bodies, we
Speaker 1: have relationship with others, And that's something I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk to you both about. I imagine that a lot
Speaker 1: of questions you get have some correlation to dating, love
Speaker 1: a romantic partner. What are some of the subconscious beliefs
Speaker 1: that you're seeing holding people back from love? What have
Speaker 1: you seen in your own journeys towards romantic love that
Speaker 1: you feel of held you back from really creating something
Speaker 1: powerful or beautiful like you have in your friendship. And
Speaker 1: how do you guide young women through that journey of
Speaker 1: their life. Because I feel like if there's anything that
Speaker 1: has been seen as put on the greatest pedestal or
Speaker 1: platform or the ultimate achievement, as you rightly said, was
Speaker 1: why you become the porcelain doll, is because you've been
Speaker 1: told that that's what gives you protection.
Speaker 3: So that's so hardwired. What's the breakthrough insight for that?
Speaker 4: At least for me? My work is and love surrendering
Speaker 4: the sword first. That's the only way to win the battle.
Speaker 4: And explain that to me, Like we it's very easy
Speaker 4: to throw up a guard and to tiptoe into something.
Speaker 4: Especially now there's so many options. You can be noncommittal
Speaker 4: so easily because there's always something you know, rich or
Speaker 4: smarter or pretty or whatever it is, versus actually leaning
Speaker 4: into the person in front of you. And I think
Speaker 4: that's my work, is fully leaning in no matter what,
Speaker 4: so that when if it ends, whether that's through dying
Speaker 4: together in our nineties or nine minutes from now it
Speaker 4: just doesn't work out, at least they'll know I gave
Speaker 4: all of myself because I think that's what haunts me
Speaker 4: is if I didn't lean into a moment. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I think by surrendering my sword, by being the first
Speaker 4: to strip off my armor, that's when I actually feel
Speaker 4: really proud of myself in love. Whether or not it
Speaker 4: works out, I feel it's successful in that way.
Speaker 1: How do you respond to that when it could be
Speaker 1: that someone took advantage of that, or someone misuse that
Speaker 1: openness and vulnerability.
Speaker 3: That you gave them.
Speaker 1: How do you reconcile that afterwards, in the aftermath that
Speaker 1: it only lasted three months or six months or whatever
Speaker 1: it was, and it wasn't as deep and beautiful as
Speaker 1: you wanted to commit towards.
Speaker 4: There's not really a way for me to know that.
Speaker 4: You know, I can't peer into the future, and that's
Speaker 4: the risk I take in love reminds me of that
Speaker 4: colors your bron poem on Love, where he says, when
Speaker 4: love beckons, you follow him though his ways are hard
Speaker 4: and steep, you know it's true you might get wounded.
Speaker 4: And it's just the risk that we take with caring
Speaker 4: about people. You know, we'll lose them one way or another,
Speaker 4: whether they die before us or we die before them.
Speaker 4: The sphere of will I ever find my person is
Speaker 4: now replaced with will I lose my person? And that
Speaker 4: just comes with caring about someone other than yourself. It's
Speaker 4: an inevitable reality. And so if I can face that
Speaker 4: every day and accept that, it makes me have.
Speaker 2: More courage to lean in. Yeah, I want to echo that,
Speaker 2: just because I think we define successful relationships as lasting forever.
Speaker 2: Whereas for me and Alley, as we're learning and growing,
Speaker 2: it's really about letting it morph into whatever it's meant
Speaker 2: to be. So whether that stays romantic, or or it
Speaker 2: changes into something else, or you know, if you feel
Speaker 2: like it's time to leave, making sure that the love
Speaker 2: is still there no matter the decision, because I think
Speaker 2: it's way easier to just wait until you both get
Speaker 2: so triggered that then we can just make it, make
Speaker 2: each other the bad villain or whatever, and then move
Speaker 2: on with our lives. But the real growth, and when
Speaker 2: you know, kind of the universe, the God knows that
Speaker 2: you're ready for a partner, is when you act in love,
Speaker 2: not because they deserve it, or you know, because you
Speaker 2: want to show them or whatever. It's because you are
Speaker 2: love and that's just what you attract. And so for me,
Speaker 2: at least like with my prior relationship to this one,
Speaker 2: that's exactly what happened. I was absolutely heartbroken, but I
Speaker 2: knew that this was a conversation with me and God
Speaker 2: now about Okay, can you end this in love, because
Speaker 2: regardless if he wants to stay, you are love, and
Speaker 2: so you're going to end it in this way, and
Speaker 2: then therefore the real, the real partnership will come and
Speaker 2: and that's exactly what happens. So also too, you know
Speaker 2: it is it is a little chaotic right now in
Speaker 2: the world with this idea of non attachment. You know,
Speaker 2: we we associated with spirituality a lot because it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not attached. But Ali also has this beautiful poem
Speaker 2: where she was like, if you don't, if you just
Speaker 2: constantly go with the flow of the river, you're going
Speaker 2: to fall off the waterfall. Like it's when we don't
Speaker 2: use that masculine energy to say no, I want this,
Speaker 2: I want to do this, I want to work for this,
Speaker 2: then everything just there's no there's there's no real intimacy
Speaker 2: and no real connection. And I think that's our That's
Speaker 2: my goal at least with every romantic relationship if I
Speaker 2: have one, if whatever it is, is just getting to
Speaker 2: the depth of that connection so that both of us
Speaker 2: can grow, and growth is my definition of success in relationship,
Speaker 2: not time. And it's scary too, because I think when
Speaker 2: you're in a relationship and you feel like you're not
Speaker 2: getting something that you want, you usually will go in
Speaker 2: your backo, try and figure it out, come to a conclusion,
Speaker 2: and then tell the person as opposed to being letting
Speaker 2: them in on the conversation, being like, Hey, I'm not
Speaker 2: getting this type of energy or this type of treatment,
Speaker 2: and I'm really noticing that it's an ultimatum for me
Speaker 2: in relationships, and I want to include you on this
Speaker 2: conversation because I'm terrified of hurting you or I'm terrified
Speaker 2: of like leaving this life, and you know, just bringing
Speaker 2: them into the conversation is what takes the power away
Speaker 2: from it. And then it's like it's an honest love
Speaker 2: no matter what. And that's it's really scary because it's
Speaker 2: way easier to just come to the conclusion and then
Speaker 2: present it to them, and it's even scarier being like, hey,
Speaker 2: I'm terrified of breaking your heart.
Speaker 3: How does that wran you? Real?
Speaker 2: But at least it's an honest conversation. And I'm noticing
Speaker 2: that with our relationship. I've been in a relationship for
Speaker 2: four almost five years now, and that's it. Like every
Speaker 2: six to nine months, we just we have to, you know,
Speaker 2: have a conversation of like, hey, is there anything that's
Speaker 2: not being honored within the relationship that you feel like
Speaker 2: you need because I think going back to this masculine
Speaker 2: and feminine that's super important in a relationship. It's fluid,
Speaker 2: you know, sometimes you'll lean into the masculine, sometimes I'll
Speaker 2: you know, he'll lean into feminine. But when we especially
Speaker 2: with females, you know, when we are in the masculine
Speaker 2: too much, in a relationship, we kind of become the
Speaker 2: mother archetype a little bit of like did you do
Speaker 2: the bed? Blah blah, Like you're picking on things that
Speaker 2: don't mean to be picked on, and it's usually because, uh,
Speaker 2: the feminine us hasn't been honored in a way where
Speaker 2: it's like have you taken her out? Have you you know,
Speaker 2: done a romantic weekend or whatever it is, is just
Speaker 2: bringing that romance back into it and then the female
Speaker 2: can just like fall into her feminine and feel like
Speaker 2: a princess truly, because that's what we also want in
Speaker 2: a relationship, at least for me, I like to feel
Speaker 2: it princess.
Speaker 1: Know what, what's your take on, like how this language
Speaker 1: of like high value man and high value woman is
Speaker 1: like permeated like social media culture relationships and like, yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: To me, it feels so transactional of I think we're
Speaker 4: drawn to people who bring out the side of us
Speaker 4: that needs to come out in a way. And I've
Speaker 4: always trusted that life will bring me the person that
Speaker 4: I meant to fall for, and I've trusted that I
Speaker 4: feel like I'll feel it when I see them versus
Speaker 4: if I create this checklist of like he has to
Speaker 4: make this much money and drive this car and look
Speaker 4: like this and do this. It takes the magic out
Speaker 4: of it, and I'm not actually present with the person
Speaker 4: in front of me. And at least on a soul level,
Speaker 4: I don't know that I'll learn the most from the
Speaker 4: person on my checklist. You know, I don't know that
Speaker 4: I'll be able to dance on the ashes of who
Speaker 4: we once were together if it's what my mind thinks,
Speaker 4: because at least I find whatever my mind thinks should
Speaker 4: happen is usually not what should happen.
Speaker 3: I agree at all.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I want to be surprised because love is
Speaker 4: such a greater force than me, and it's so humbling.
Speaker 4: And yeah, I guess when I hear the high value man,
Speaker 4: high value woman, it automatically to me insinuates that you
Speaker 4: don't have value or you know what I mean. It
Speaker 4: triggers is the self esteem thing. At least that's how
Speaker 4: I feel when I hear it.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah, I love your take on it, and I
Speaker 1: think my take is that you can't really judge value
Speaker 1: in that way because I always give this example of
Speaker 1: like when I met RADI I was in debt and
Speaker 1: didn't have a job and didn't know what I was
Speaker 1: going to do. And so if I was judged on
Speaker 1: my value of my net worth or any of those things,
Speaker 1: it would have been minus. But I was not judged.
Speaker 1: I was approached by RADI based on my values, not
Speaker 1: my value, and that totally was a different take, and
Speaker 1: she invested in my values, and those values are what
Speaker 1: constructs a healthy relationship today, I don't think whether we've
Speaker 1: had money or not had money it actually affected our
Speaker 1: romantic connection, or whether we had things or didn't have things,
Speaker 1: whether it affected our intimacy, Like that wasn't what I
Speaker 1: had an impact. I always say to people, like, how
Speaker 1: to old someone is isn't going to change.
Speaker 3: Whether you guys are have also.
Speaker 2: So much fun to grow with you xactly and to
Speaker 2: be like I was there from the beginning. Like that's
Speaker 2: so satisfying and cool in its own way. So when
Speaker 2: we're always constantly looking for like the finished product of someone,
Speaker 2: it's like, well, then where's that gritty growth that I
Speaker 2: love so much, because at least that's what we have
Speaker 2: in our friendship. You know, it's just like this gritty
Speaker 2: like I'm going to continue to like go with you
Speaker 2: on this journey whichever way you know, if you need
Speaker 2: to bury dead body list Like it's that energy on
Speaker 2: Purpose podcast. He's like, God, love each other, her out, No,
Speaker 2: but it's true. Like I I like, even in the
Speaker 2: past five years, I'm like, this is incredible to see
Speaker 2: how much we've grown together. It's almost it's exhilarating in
Speaker 2: its own way. So I do think too, and men also,
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to talk a little bit potential
Speaker 2: because I think women who Run with the Wolves, that
Speaker 2: incredible book, they were talking about how women it's in
Speaker 2: one of it's part of our nature to see a
Speaker 2: man's potential and to truly like help lift them to
Speaker 2: get them there. And so so many times I hear
Speaker 2: my friends, you know, embarrassed that they fell for them
Speaker 2: for his potential, and then they felt guilty or bad
Speaker 2: that they were trying to push him in a direction
Speaker 2: that maybe he didn't want to go. And when I
Speaker 2: read that in the book, I realized, oh no, because
Speaker 2: the right man will be so excited that you see
Speaker 2: that path for them and will walk that path with
Speaker 2: you in a beautiful way. So there is truth within
Speaker 2: that that natural ability that women have. It's it's so beautiful,
Speaker 2: and I've seen that with my own relationship, Like it
Speaker 2: is so fun to watch him grow and become this
Speaker 2: incredible man. It is. It's so much more satisfying than
Speaker 2: if I would have just gone on a date with
Speaker 2: this version of him now and met him now. It's
Speaker 2: our nature to to feed that potential to something greater.
Speaker 2: And if he's the right guy and he's ready for you,
Speaker 2: then that's where the growth and the beautiful garden that
Speaker 2: you guys will create comes from. So it's really beautiful.
Speaker 1: I can listen to you both talk forever now we
Speaker 1: can on the easy A podcast.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: I hope you're both going to have loads of conversations
Speaker 1: with each other too, because I could just hear you
Speaker 1: you two talk without any guests or anything.
Speaker 2: It's been interesting being a host, like I will say
Speaker 2: so because like like watching you do this and how
Speaker 2: you're able to You're so present, You're able to wrap
Speaker 2: around a story and you're able to take different questions
Speaker 2: and you know, form them into new ones to take
Speaker 2: us on this new path. It's this incredible talent that
Speaker 2: you have, so I definitely have watched yours and studies
Speaker 2: yours a lot, but then also like adding our own
Speaker 2: little sauce into it has been so fun, And it's
Speaker 2: actually like way more intimidating to be interviewed as opposed
Speaker 2: to be the host. Like I prefer being the host
Speaker 2: so much more.
Speaker 1: But I finally realized that you realized that because in
Speaker 1: the beginning, when you're hosting yours and Neverson scared, and
Speaker 1: then you realize the person in the seat is as
Speaker 1: a way out a job, we were so No, you're
Speaker 1: both a phenomenal. I want to end with the final five,
Speaker 1: which we always do the end of every on purpose interview,
Speaker 1: but we're going to change it up. We're going to
Speaker 1: take questions from the journal because I think that would
Speaker 1: be fun and so the questions. But the hard part
Speaker 1: is the questions have to be answered in one word
Speaker 1: to one sentence maximum, and I'll probably allow you, I'll
Speaker 1: probably want you to expand his Timeue goes on. So
Speaker 1: question one, let's start with an easy one.
Speaker 3: Let's not start with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've got a really good one there for later on.
Speaker 1: We'll start with it an easy one. What piece of
Speaker 1: advice would you give to a younger you?
Speaker 2: Your brain's just not fully formed. You're going to be Okay,
Speaker 2: I worry about it, like twenty five, it'll calm down,
Speaker 2: smooth sailing, but just like it's fine, You're good.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: Buckle up, baby, enjoy the ride.
Speaker 3: Okay, great. If life stopped today, what would you regret
Speaker 3: not doing? I love that question.
Speaker 2: Serving spending way we're talking to my family, you could
Speaker 2: be on the water more. Yeah, honestly nothing.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's beautiful.
Speaker 1: That's an amazing place to be. Tell me about all
Speaker 1: the parts of yourself that you cringe at.
Speaker 2: My unfiltered thoughts, my intrusive thoughts, It just will come out.
Speaker 2: I've been pretty good on this episode, but I love
Speaker 2: your intrusive thoughts. But they had just become my personality
Speaker 2: and it came I just yeah, there's moments where I'm like, don't, don't,
Speaker 2: and it just comes out. So I guess, Yeah, my
Speaker 2: intrusive thoughts are pretty cringey, especially when I just can't
Speaker 2: stop saying them out loud. I think it was being homeschooled.
Speaker 2: There's just no filter. And then also my mother was like,
Speaker 2: oh adults, Oh no, they're just they're like you, but older,
Speaker 2: and I was like oh, and then I never really got,
Speaker 2: you know, afraid, and never called people mister and missus,
Speaker 2: and so there was never like this disconnection from me
Speaker 2: and my olders in a sense. So I just there's
Speaker 2: no filter and never went to school, so I just
Speaker 2: will keep talking. And so I'm gonna shut up.
Speaker 3: Now this is all intrusive. I love it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I just cringe it being a walking
Speaker 4: and bumper sticker, like as a poet, I'm just so trained.
Speaker 2: I can see her cringe to say line that she said, I.
Speaker 4: Can't stand it. I think that's why I appreciate her.
Speaker 4: It's the balance. Yeah, there's nothing composed, and I'm too composed,
Speaker 4: and so somewhere will become a person in the middle.
Speaker 1: I always say that, like I take life too seriously
Speaker 1: and Rady doesn't take life seriously at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's the only way to balance it out.
Speaker 1: Similar I know what I'm doing every minute of the day.
Speaker 1: All right, question number four, list of things that you're
Speaker 1: running from?
Speaker 2: Okay, I just spit uh mortality to get like really deep.
Speaker 2: I've been feeling like I've been needing to face us
Speaker 2: in different types of ways. Maybe it's a plot plant
Speaker 2: medicine thing. Maybe I don't know what it is, but
Speaker 2: I feel once I can have a more honest relationship
Speaker 2: with death, I'll be able to because now I love
Speaker 2: my life so much and I love who I am
Speaker 2: so much, so I'm like, I just really want to
Speaker 2: be in it so deeply and I and I know
Speaker 2: that like fear of death and fear of loosening it
Speaker 2: all is kind of ruining the presence for me a
Speaker 2: little bit. So yeah, thank you.
Speaker 4: I'm running for my gifts. I think I've hit a
Speaker 4: certain comfortable place in writing, but I want to see
Speaker 4: how far I can go and stretch that muscle. But
Speaker 4: it feels like that Mary and Williamson quote if we're
Speaker 4: afraid of our power more than failure. I just butchered
Speaker 4: that terribly. But I'm afraid of that. I'm seeing how
Speaker 4: far I can go about You, Jay Shatty, what am.
Speaker 3: I running from? Yeah, that's what you're saying, right that question.
Speaker 3: I literally wait to do this, Like I'm really excited.
Speaker 3: Am I running from?
Speaker 1: I think I'm running from. I'm actually doing what I
Speaker 1: was talking about earlier. I'm running from a past self,
Speaker 1: an identity then no longer serves me. But I think
Speaker 1: I'm doing it not in the right way. So my
Speaker 1: history is important to me, and it's powerful, and it's
Speaker 1: so much the reason I am who I am today,
Speaker 1: and I think sometimes I'm trying to run away from
Speaker 1: my history because I'm so different today externally and in
Speaker 1: so many other ways. But I don't think that's the
Speaker 1: right thing to do, so i'd say that's what I'm
Speaker 1: running from. That makes sense at all? All right, Fifth
Speaker 1: and final question, what are you pretending not to know?
Speaker 3: Right now?
Speaker 2: That's the question that I wanted him to Oh is it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Remember what what did it? Could say? Our friend Coop
Speaker 2: Blacks an extra set?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I interviewed two years ago.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's Oh my god, what's larger than life?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. What am I brandtending not to know?
Speaker 2: Right now?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: No, oh no. That I was really hoping he wasn't
Speaker 2: going to ask that question, but I wanted to ask
Speaker 2: him that question.
Speaker 3: And now we're in.
Speaker 2: I think I do feel a little bit of fear
Speaker 2: of success with the podcast because we had this conversation
Speaker 2: with kot. There's a difference between sharing who you are
Speaker 2: and exposing who you are, and I always got nervous
Speaker 2: with that because with social media, it's everyone's just going
Speaker 2: to use any part of their life to gain attraction,
Speaker 2: and I really want to maintain a sense of privacy
Speaker 2: while also sharing deeply who I am. I feel you
Speaker 2: do a really good job about that, So I think
Speaker 2: I'm I'm afraid of that line being crossed with now
Speaker 2: that we're in this like more love content, because this
Speaker 2: is the only type of content on the Internet that
Speaker 2: I feel actually shows all versions of someone, and that's
Speaker 2: why me and Ali were so excited to get into it.
Speaker 2: But there's definitely a huge fear of it right now
Speaker 2: that I'll expose myself in some way or feel like
Speaker 2: I hate those vulnerability hangovers. My god, it doesn't feel good.
Speaker 2: Oh it doesn't feel good.
Speaker 4: What about you? I actually think it's what you said
Speaker 4: earlier about the inner piece external chaos. I find what
Speaker 4: brings me inner piece, I notice rocks the boat of
Speaker 4: people I love most a lot of the time, and
Speaker 4: so I really really struggle with not wanting to hurt
Speaker 4: people and then suffocating a part of myself. And I
Speaker 4: think there's a balance between the two of freedom and security,
Speaker 4: But I think it's pretending not to know when something's
Speaker 4: good for me, but I know what's going to be
Speaker 4: something that feels like upheaval inside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, thank you guys. What are you pretting not
Speaker 1: to know right now? I'd say it's I feel that
Speaker 1: there's a larger than life, bigger service that I'm meant
Speaker 1: to walk into, but I feel like the immediate keeps
Speaker 1: taking my attention, and so I'm pretending not to know
Speaker 1: that there's this bigger thing that will be hard at
Speaker 1: work people work that is asking me to pick up
Speaker 1: the call. But it's almost like you're avoiding the call
Speaker 1: because there's all this immediate stuff that is good and
Speaker 1: it's great and it's helping, and it is service based
Speaker 1: as well, but it's you know, there's more and you're
Speaker 1: not picking up the call.
Speaker 2: So oh that's good, That's honest.
Speaker 1: What I love about everything I've said to you guys,
Speaker 1: and even just sitting and do this activity with you,
Speaker 1: I love that those beautiful, simple, well crafted questions made
Speaker 1: me say things that I probably haven't said out loud
Speaker 1: to anyone in years. Maybe so you know the power
Speaker 1: of the questions. You've curated and chosen a really special
Speaker 1: and I'm so excited for people to dive into it.
Speaker 1: I'm honestly seeing with you both today, I can honestly
Speaker 1: say that I hope.
Speaker 3: That you come back to teach me some more and
Speaker 3: offline as well. I mean, I actually genuinely mean that.
Speaker 1: I'm not just saying that, I really hope you'll come
Speaker 1: back offline to teach me some more. I'm going to
Speaker 1: reach out to both of you. I can't wait for
Speaker 1: people to listen to easy A. I'm so excited for
Speaker 1: people to use the Becoming a Warrior journals. And I'm
Speaker 1: rooting for you guys and forever in your corner and
Speaker 1: anyway that I can be, and so grateful that you
Speaker 1: came on purpose.
Speaker 2: You're the best ever. Thank you so much. You've supported
Speaker 2: me for years and I just I feel so much
Speaker 2: gratitude when I think of you and Roddy and like
Speaker 2: truly you've you guys kind of like took me under
Speaker 2: your wings. So I really really appreciate it, and thank
Speaker 2: you for welcoming Ali.
Speaker 3: Of course, thank you.
Speaker 4: You really create such a beautiful safe space where it
Speaker 4: elicits honesty in a way that's not invasive.
Speaker 2: It's like calm honesty. It doesn't feel supportive and loving.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you. It means the world to me.
Speaker 1: Did I not ask you anything that you wanted to
Speaker 1: share or something that was on your heart and mind
Speaker 1: that you really want to share with the community right now?
Speaker 1: If there's anything, please feel free. It's open floor.
Speaker 2: I just think the Box conversation has just been so
Speaker 2: relevant in my life in the last year, and it
Speaker 2: always just comes back to this idea of giving the
Speaker 2: world us individuals the grace of change, because it's truly
Speaker 2: what we need. And that's why I, me and Ali
Speaker 2: have such a close connection, because we've given each other
Speaker 2: the grace of change and we need that more than
Speaker 2: ever in this world.
Speaker 3: I fully agree Ali Annie what she said. I love it.
Speaker 1: Everyone has been listening or watching wherever you are, whether
Speaker 1: you're walking your dog, you're at home, you're on the
Speaker 1: way to work, on the way back from work, you're
Speaker 1: at the gym, wherever you are. Please make sure that
Speaker 1: you tag all three of us. Tag Ali, tag Alexis,
Speaker 1: tag myself. Let us know what stood out to you,
Speaker 1: what resonated with you. Remember, I want you to go
Speaker 1: listen to this with a friend, to deepen your friendship,
Speaker 1: to remove envy from your connections, and of course start
Speaker 1: removing the boxes, start trying to live in bigger boxes,
Speaker 1: and allow ourselves to give us permission to be the
Speaker 1: fullest three to sixty degree version of ourselves. So big
Speaker 1: thank you to Alexis, big thank you to Ali, and
Speaker 1: thank you for listening to on Purpose.
Speaker 3: Everyone. Thank you so much, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll love my interview with
Speaker 1: Dr Gabor Matte on understanding your trauma and how to
Speaker 1: heal emotional wounds to start moving on from the past.
Speaker 2: Everything in nature grows only where it's vulnerable. So tree
Speaker 2: doesn't go over it's hard and thick, does it. It
Speaker 2: goes where it's soft and green and vulnerable.