Speaker 1: Okay, we just need to apologize right now for taking
Speaker 1: over your TikTok for you page.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all the old ones are going viral, but the
Speaker 1: new ones are so much better.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm so glad you found them.
Speaker 1: Follow like whatever you're supposed to do on these podcasts
Speaker 1: and just sit back and listen.
Speaker 3: Second date update. Is there any way to do the
Speaker 3: math to figure out what type of person you're the
Speaker 3: most compatible with?
Speaker 2: Is there math for that?
Speaker 3: Start with affectionate, multiply by heavy petting, subtract two blindfolds,
Speaker 3: keep one divide with an overbearing mother.
Speaker 2: And oh, this is jeff math. I get it.
Speaker 3: Now, you're going to die alone. Every time I try
Speaker 3: to calculate this, I keep coming up with the same answer.
Speaker 2: It's like time zero anytime you add the mother.
Speaker 3: Right, yeah, yeah, exactly, saying goodness, our listener just found
Speaker 3: a different formula, and hopefully her results are better than mine,
Speaker 3: because apparently she's been single for a bit now. But Justine,
Speaker 3: how's the dating world's going for you? Are you also
Speaker 3: reserving a burial plot for one?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I could hear you.
Speaker 1: I can hear you laughing through the tears. So that's good,
Speaker 1: It's all right, Justine.
Speaker 2: But the funny thing is you're not alone in that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know a lot of us are out there
Speaker 3: with you. But you said that you figured out some
Speaker 3: sort of mathematic formula to help you with your dating life.
Speaker 3: What was that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like this online test.
Speaker 5: You put in all the stuff that you care about,
Speaker 5: like your preferences and whatever for like finding a partner,
Speaker 5: and we'll come back with like the percentage of men
Speaker 5: on dating apps who like fit those preferences.
Speaker 2: Oh really, wait, they also take the test center.
Speaker 1: No, I think that it probably I'm guessing it's an
Speaker 1: algorithm that goes through and looks at their dating profile.
Speaker 2: Is that how it works?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And so like I started out like super basic. I
Speaker 5: was like, they have to have a job, they have
Speaker 5: to like not live at their parents' house, like have
Speaker 5: a car, like okay.
Speaker 3: Well my standards are crazy on your end.
Speaker 5: I didn't put a single thing that was physical like
Speaker 5: height or anything, and it came back with less than.
Speaker 4: One percent of men.
Speaker 6: Job truly.
Speaker 1: Oh my, okay, So so you weren't feeling positive.
Speaker 2: I'm guessing at that.
Speaker 5: Number or you know, that's like very bleak.
Speaker 6: Okay, anyway, I like.
Speaker 5: After all of that, ended up meeting this guy named James,
Speaker 5: like just in a coffee shop.
Speaker 3: Oh, didn't even need the dating apps.
Speaker 2: She ran into the one percent.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's funny, like the irony. How did that interaction happen?
Speaker 5: I literally was just sitting down and I was like
Speaker 5: scrolling and he comes up to me and he's like,
Speaker 5: are you accepting applications? And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 5: I don't work here. Like I thought. He was like
Speaker 5: a flying at the coffee stop.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, were he wearing like an apron or something?
Speaker 4: No, I guess I just like looked like I don't know,
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Or you're a manager.
Speaker 1: You know sometimes you walk into a restaurant or something
Speaker 1: you see a manager working.
Speaker 3: Good point. Yeah, how did you respond to him when
Speaker 3: he asked about applications?
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, sorry, I don't work here, and he.
Speaker 5: Was like no, no, like to be your boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Oh oh it was all fine?
Speaker 2: Okay did you like that?
Speaker 5: I mean I thought it was funny, but he like
Speaker 5: fully went along with it, and he was like, listen,
Speaker 5: I brought my resume.
Speaker 4: I've got like my.
Speaker 5: History and experience, and he legitimately like pulled out a
Speaker 5: piece of paper.
Speaker 2: Wait what, he had a dating resume?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 2: Oh, I have to know what was on it?
Speaker 3: Or is it a move that he pulls on women
Speaker 3: all the time? And he has twenty quote unquote dating
Speaker 3: resumes in his pocket to hand out whenever he.
Speaker 5: Sees someone cute kind of like the real world of
Speaker 5: getting a job.
Speaker 1: If she liked the resume, who cares?
Speaker 2: How many other people like what was on it?
Speaker 5: You know, like basic stuff like he likes going to
Speaker 5: games and hiking. It's like he was like, yeah, if
Speaker 5: you want to set up an interview, you can just
Speaker 5: like I called the number and I was like, why
Speaker 5: don't you.
Speaker 4: Just sit down now when I can interview you?
Speaker 6: Oh my.
Speaker 2: Great response.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it was really nice, like he turned out
Speaker 4: to be an awesome guy.
Speaker 5: He like offered to literally venmo me for the coffee
Speaker 5: that I'd already bought.
Speaker 3: Guy, you look poor here. You probably know this.
Speaker 1: What was the hardest boyfriend interview question that you asked him?
Speaker 5: Well, okay, so I've actually like done interviews at my
Speaker 5: real job. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna
Speaker 5: pull some of these and I was like, what's one
Speaker 5: thing you don't want me to know about you? Dude?
Speaker 2: He is so prepared for the day.
Speaker 3: It I would hate that question to be asked to
Speaker 3: me on a first day. But did he have an
Speaker 3: answer for you?
Speaker 5: He did, and it was like it was like ready made.
Speaker 5: It's like he effected it. And he legitimately said, I
Speaker 5: pry when I watched the Matrix because I'm scared about
Speaker 5: the future.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, I don't think that was prepared.
Speaker 2: I feel like that was honest Yeah.
Speaker 3: I'm so scared. There's no way he just thought of that.
Speaker 3: How did you feel about that response?
Speaker 5: Honestly? I thought it was really funny and it was
Speaker 5: really clever, and like because it was so quick, I
Speaker 5: was like, oh no, you're serious.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not a red flag to you that he
Speaker 3: thinks the matrix is actually going to happen in the
Speaker 3: next few years.
Speaker 2: So many worse answers.
Speaker 5: He said like, yeah, that is so much better than anything.
Speaker 6: Okay.
Speaker 5: So anyway, at the end, he's like, so did I
Speaker 5: get the job? And I was like, well, we probably
Speaker 5: should set up like a second interview. Oh.
Speaker 4: Then I definitely got the job, and we kind of
Speaker 4: like left it off there and it was funny and
Speaker 4: we laughed and.
Speaker 5: Then he like never called me again.
Speaker 4: What I like texted him, made jokes about.
Speaker 5: Like, hey, we need to set up your second interview,
Speaker 5: and it was just silence.
Speaker 3: No, did you guys cancer anything? Or like hug was
Speaker 3: physical vice, like a normal job interview.
Speaker 2: Yes, a job doesn't like a transition.
Speaker 3: How do you think I got hired to?
Speaker 1: I mean that is strange though, because he's the one
Speaker 1: that approached you. He's the one that did the line,
Speaker 1: like why wouldn't.
Speaker 3: He, But she's the one that took it to the
Speaker 3: next level that actually made him sit down for it.
Speaker 3: He probably just thought it was a smooth line and
Speaker 3: was going to back away.
Speaker 5: So he literally was the one asking like did I
Speaker 5: get the job?
Speaker 3: Yeah? He just wants the ego boost offer the company
Speaker 3: gives you. Isn't good.
Speaker 2: He's got to put in two weeks at his last job.
Speaker 6: Find out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's clearly a lot of options on the table.
Speaker 3: We're gonna find out for sure what happened when we
Speaker 3: come back and call James to do your second date update.
Speaker 3: Right after this second date update, Is there any setting
Speaker 3: more romantic than a job interview.
Speaker 2: It shouldn't be romantic.
Speaker 3: I don't know, Broke, You're dressed all nice, you're talking
Speaker 3: about your biggest strength and your greatest weaknesses, and all
Speaker 3: of a sudden, what comes out of your pants?
Speaker 6: Oops?
Speaker 3: Oh god, a resume? Would you look at that? I
Speaker 3: just happened to have that on me, No wonder, it's
Speaker 3: so warm. That's actually kind of what happened to one
Speaker 3: of our listeners who met a guy recently. It wasn't
Speaker 3: an official job application, but some dudes saw at a
Speaker 3: coffee shop and asked, hey, are you taking boyfriend? Application
Speaker 3: is so smooth, And he even had a resume in
Speaker 3: his pants.
Speaker 1: That's why it's even smooth pocket okay, or who knows
Speaker 1: where it was?
Speaker 3: We don't know either way. It's kind of sus that
Speaker 3: he just carries that around waiting to whip out to
Speaker 3: any cute girl, if that's what he does, but we
Speaker 3: don't know. He may have done this just.
Speaker 2: For the he's putting some effort in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it did work, and he got to sit down
Speaker 3: with her for a little interview slash mini first date.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: By the end he said he was definitely going to
Speaker 3: call her, and according to her, he definitely didn't. Ah.
Speaker 3: I think we're all a little bit concerned that this
Speaker 3: little shtick he's doing is working too well, and maybe
Speaker 3: he's applying to multiple boyfriend positions all throughout the city.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of openings.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Justine, if this turns out where he actually does
Speaker 3: this all the time and meets hundreds of women this way,
Speaker 3: how could we make him remember you? And have you
Speaker 3: stand like, how do we identify you? Or do you
Speaker 3: still even want to go out with him?
Speaker 6: At that point?
Speaker 5: I'm curious to hear what he has to say. But yeah,
Speaker 5: I was wearing a green romper, I have red hair
Speaker 5: and glasses.
Speaker 1: Okay, cute, Okay, Ronald mcdonne, like you were the only
Speaker 1: one who sat him down and actually gave him like
Speaker 1: a legit interview.
Speaker 2: That's like, how could he remember you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? All right, So we'll see if he does remember
Speaker 3: you and what he asked to say James's phone number?
Speaker 6: Right now? Here we go?
Speaker 3: Hello, Hey, we're looking for James?
Speaker 6: Uh yeah?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Where we we are a radio show?
Speaker 6: Jeff?
Speaker 3: Sorry you first word? Yeah, thanks for pointing on all
Speaker 3: my flows in front of everybody.
Speaker 2: You know, this job you're calling.
Speaker 3: On behalf of our boss, Justine, and apparently you applied
Speaker 3: for the position of her boyfriend role recently.
Speaker 6: Oh okay, yeah, do you remember that interview?
Speaker 2: Do you remember that interview?
Speaker 6: I mean I I remember a few of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we expect that.
Speaker 3: We heard about the move that you pulled on our
Speaker 3: listener where you walked up to her and you like
Speaker 3: had a resume and asked if there was a boyfriend opening.
Speaker 3: Is that something that you've done a lot?
Speaker 6: Uh? Yeah, yeah, I've done that a good amount.
Speaker 3: Can I guess how many times? Is it two hundred times?
Speaker 6: I don't know about two hundred.
Speaker 1: I want to know the success, right, how many of
Speaker 1: those turn into a date?
Speaker 6: They do? Sometimes? I've definitely met some interesting people.
Speaker 3: Okay, I am curious about that before we get to
Speaker 3: like Justine specifically, Like, what are some of the quirky
Speaker 3: things that you found out while trying this on other people? Before?
Speaker 6: I mean, there was this one girl who was an
Speaker 6: extreme coupon her Oh I've never met before.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting. They call them cheap skates, but yeah,
Speaker 3: go ahead.
Speaker 6: There was another girl who kept talking about alien abductions,
Speaker 6: so that was really interesting.
Speaker 2: Was that a turn on for you.
Speaker 1: I'm curious, like, it sounds like you're just meeting people
Speaker 1: to meet weird people. Are you actually looking for something
Speaker 1: in this?
Speaker 6: You know, I don't really know what I'm looking forward to,
Speaker 6: be honest, it's just it's proven to be a great
Speaker 6: way to meet people. May people really responded?
Speaker 3: You're looking for a girl who wears a green romper
Speaker 3: to a coffee shop and has bright red hair, and
Speaker 3: it tells you to sit down for the interview right
Speaker 3: away when you ask, Oh.
Speaker 6: Yeah, thank god you told me what she was wearing,
Speaker 6: because that now I know who you're talking about.
Speaker 2: I'd ask you to sit down for the interview too,
Speaker 2: the aliens.
Speaker 3: But so now you remember Justine? Yeah, yeah, I remember Justine.
Speaker 6: Here's the thing. I do this a good amount, and
Speaker 6: it's just, you know, it's all over the place the
Speaker 6: reactions that I get. But Justine's was like she was
Speaker 6: really quick with it, and she was she was different.
Speaker 6: I'll be honest. That kind of freaked me out.
Speaker 2: Oh it did.
Speaker 1: I didn't know how to respond because she beat you
Speaker 1: at your own game essentially.
Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
Speaker 2: But what if that seems like it'd be a turn
Speaker 2: on men don't like.
Speaker 1: To be outsmart I was just kidding, how do they
Speaker 1: ever meet anyone?
Speaker 3: James? How did you feel talking to Justine like that?
Speaker 3: Were you scared of her?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 6: Yeah, honestly, I just I never take this thing seriously.
Speaker 6: It's just it's just sort of a gimmick, and she
Speaker 6: for the first time, I felt like, Wow, this really
Speaker 6: could be something.
Speaker 1: You can't let your own insecurity stand in of the
Speaker 1: way that you want someone who challenges you.
Speaker 3: What's your hold up?
Speaker 6: Then? I guess I'm just not used to that. I've
Speaker 6: never never had that happen for So.
Speaker 3: You finally found her and you're like, what do I do?
Speaker 2: That's why you're single?
Speaker 3: Man, Like, you don't know how to move forward now
Speaker 3: that you realize you actually.
Speaker 6: Like her kind of like she might she might just
Speaker 6: be quicker than me. I don't know, I think she is. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: that's terrifying.
Speaker 2: No, I mean I appreciate the honesty.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what, if you think that's terrifying, just
Speaker 3: wait till you hear that she's actually been listening to
Speaker 3: this conversation the entire time. It is on the other
Speaker 3: line right now.
Speaker 1: You serious, Hey, scary Justine trying not to scream.
Speaker 6: Hey, Justine, come on, James.
Speaker 5: You were like I thought we had like a banter.
Speaker 6: We did we did? It freaked me out. I've never
Speaker 6: had a banter.
Speaker 5: You have every right to be like confident and witty
Speaker 5: and like the guy that I met could like play ball,
Speaker 5: like he could play chess, and I feel like you're
Speaker 5: just like afraid of that.
Speaker 4: But honestly, you you kept up.
Speaker 5: In the conversation great like it was. I really enjoyed
Speaker 5: our conversation. And I'm a little sad, but like now
Speaker 5: you're like backing out.
Speaker 6: I mean, I'm not backing out. I'm just sort of
Speaker 6: like frozen. I'm not sure what to do.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, this is positive.
Speaker 3: Now we need to dethaw you and get you back
Speaker 3: into action.
Speaker 2: What did I picture popping in a microwaves?
Speaker 3: Got to do? She liked your energy when you first met,
Speaker 3: so just bring that back and talk to her.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I I can definitely do that.
Speaker 3: More confident than that though, Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Justin, and I would like that. I would like
Speaker 6: if we.
Speaker 3: Get it sounds kind of timid to me.
Speaker 5: Let's start, Can you try to say it a little
Speaker 5: more assertive?
Speaker 3: Get some flair on it, James, justin, let's do this,
Speaker 3: all right, let's do this.
Speaker 2: I mean I thought you guys were going to talk
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 6: I thought, well, not in front of you, dude.
Speaker 2: You can't ask for interviews. You can't apply to be
Speaker 2: people's boyfriends and then not.
Speaker 3: It's like you put on your application, but you have
Speaker 3: no show it to us.
Speaker 4: The thing I think you do have, Rizz. I think
Speaker 4: you're just afraid of messing up, and it keeps you from.
Speaker 2: Being bold, like you.
Speaker 6: You got in your head. I think so when there
Speaker 6: are no stakes, it's easy. But now that there's steaks,
Speaker 6: that's different.
Speaker 3: That's actually there will be steaks if we pay for them,
Speaker 3: because we will offer to send you to a steakhouse.
Speaker 2: Really, our gift cards cover this.
Speaker 3: And it's going to be an Apple.
Speaker 2: I thought we were going to.
Speaker 3: But we'd like to send you guys out on one
Speaker 3: more date that we would pay for if you're not
Speaker 3: too afraid. James, come on, James, Yeah that I feel
Speaker 3: like if we didn't call and push you into this,
Speaker 3: then this date never even would have happened.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean we don't know that.
Speaker 3: I feel Okay, Justine, you're still okay with it.
Speaker 4: I am open to a second interview, but he honestly
Speaker 4: sounds like pretty different, a lot more timid, So we'll
Speaker 4: just have to see how a less rehearsed interview goes.
Speaker 2: Okay, was the first one just to show or is
Speaker 2: it really who he is?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you find out in a real world experience. I'm
Speaker 3: doing the dating math on this, just like Justine did originally,
Speaker 3: and I'm saying this relationships probably at a five percent
Speaker 3: chance right.
Speaker 2: Now, higher than I was going to give it. So yeah,
Speaker 2: that's good.
Speaker 3: Unless he says something really smooth right now, I got nothing. Okay,
Speaker 3: it's a two percent chance. Good lucky guys. Yeah, it's broken.
Speaker 3: Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2: Broken Jeffrey in the Morning.