1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. 5 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever 6 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is great to have 7 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:36,959 Speaker 1: you here back for another episode today. I also want 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: to formally welcome you to this week's little mini series 9 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: where I'm going to be focusing on how to create 10 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: your dream life in your twenties. So my kind of 11 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: idea behind this segment why I thought that it was 12 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: important to talk about today, perhaps something that I hadn't 13 00:00:55,200 --> 00:01:00,400 Speaker 1: spoken about before, is that there is so much evidence, advice, pology, 14 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: even my personal observations that don't always make it into 15 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: one episode altogether. I feel like I have a lot 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: of different episodes for unique conundrums and unique experiences. But 17 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: what I really wanted to do was combine that all 18 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:20,199 Speaker 1: into two episodes where we look at all the different 19 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: dimensions of our twenties that I think we experience the 20 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 1: greatest sense of worry and confusion, things like our careers, 21 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: our finances, love, friendships, the future and our personal growth, 22 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,959 Speaker 1: and really provide a bit of a blueprint or a 23 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:41,040 Speaker 1: guide for what is the best practice, what is the 24 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: best thing to do during this decade around these different 25 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: ideas and experiences that is not only going to allow 26 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: us to really enjoy the freedom of this time, but 27 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: also set us up for the future. I think this 28 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: decade is so incredibly romanticized, and the stakes feel so 29 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: high to kind of get everything right and to set 30 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: ourselves up for success whilst also not really missing out 31 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: on some of those crucial, fun, care free times, and 32 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,400 Speaker 1: I think we all deserved a bit of a holistic 33 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: bird's eye view of exactly what kind of balance to 34 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: strike and also some reassurance that you are not behind, 35 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: there is no need to rush, there is still time, 36 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: and also what the future may have in store how 37 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: to approach that daunting, sometimes overwhelming confusion with excitement rather 38 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: than fear. So this is Part one of the Creating 39 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: Your Dream Life mini series where we are going to 40 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: cover tips and theories around achieving fulfillment, direction and growth 41 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 1: in our careers and our financial lives. And part two 42 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: we're going to cover relationships, friendships, love as well as 43 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: our physical and our emotional and crucially our spiritual well being. 44 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: So this episode, I really want to get into a 45 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: decode all of the kind of mysteries and confusions around 46 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: making career and financial choices in your twenties that feel 47 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,960 Speaker 1: right and feel satisfying, but also allow us to really 48 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 1: build this really wonderful future that we want without having 49 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: the regret and the fear of the what ifs. A 50 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,839 Speaker 1: question I get all the time, and that I think, 51 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: in fact, I ask myself a lot, is how do 52 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: I know that the decisions I'm making right now are 53 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: not the same decisions that I'm going to regret in 54 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: five or ten years. Because this is our first decade 55 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: of adulthood, we often don't have the hindsight to comprehend 56 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: just how much our lives can and will change in 57 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: the next five to ten years, and they may pan 58 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: out in ways that we don't expect. So because we 59 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: are all very new to this day and new to 60 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: this experience, we feel very boxed in by, I would say, 61 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: a series of choices that have been socially imposed on us, 62 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: particularly three or four options in particular, do you work, 63 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: do you travel? Do you pursue further education or do 64 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:17,880 Speaker 1: you settle down? 65 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 2: You know? 66 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: I think that what comes from that is this series 67 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: of what if questions, the series of kind of pick 68 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: me or make a choice situation. 69 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 2: So do I go to. 70 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: UNI and pursue professional success of being you know, a lawyer, 71 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 1: a doctor, an architect? Or do I go traveling? Do 72 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: I spend the next ten years climbing the corporate ladder? 73 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: Or do I pursue my passions and my pipe dreams. 74 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: Sometimes it feels like every choice we make closes more 75 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: doors than it opens. If I'm this type of person, 76 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,760 Speaker 1: the type that is eager for financial independence and professional success, 77 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 1: then I have to say goodbye to this other potential 78 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: version of myself, that really free spirited traveler with endless 79 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: time but also very little money. And I wish that 80 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: I could be every possible version of myself. I wish 81 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: that I didn't have to choose. It's something that I 82 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: hear constantly, and I guess the question that comes from 83 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:21,599 Speaker 1: that is why can't we kind of have it all? 84 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 2: Why can't we be it all? 85 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,479 Speaker 1: I think a big misconception we face during this decade 86 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 1: is that the choices we are making now will be 87 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 1: our final answer. Part of that is this major contradiction 88 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: inherent in our twenties that can make things so confusing 89 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: but also wonderful. You know, in one year, we are 90 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 1: told that this is the decade of opportunity, where we 91 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: are kind of given a few years of free passes 92 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: to really take our time and explore, and then in 93 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: the other years this little voice telling us that we 94 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: are falling behind, that we should have figured it out 95 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: by now, that this is where our life foundation is 96 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: a established. I talk about this concept quite a bit 97 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: on the show, but I think our twenties are a 98 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: continuous example of what we call the paradox of choice. 99 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: So the paradox of choice is this theory that suggests 100 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,640 Speaker 1: when we have an abundance of options, actually what that 101 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: requires is more effort. And when we have more options, 102 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: we feel less satisfied with our choices compared to when 103 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: we have fewer. And when we think about the landscape 104 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: of our twenties, something that we are is very much 105 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: spoilt for choice, and we might think that that is 106 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,679 Speaker 1: more liberating. We might think that that gives us more freedom, 107 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,800 Speaker 1: But what a lot of these psychologists are saying is 108 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 1: really that choice actually paralyzes us because we don't know 109 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: how to weigh up all of the pros and cons 110 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:52,159 Speaker 1: the costs and benefits of these decisions. So we are 111 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 1: a generation facing the curse of too much choice, and 112 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: maybe that is what's contributing to high levels of anxiety 113 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: around not making the most of our formative years or 114 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: worse yet, I think this fear of making a choice 115 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: and it being the wrong one. Something we really need 116 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: to acknowledge before we start this episode is that this 117 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 1: decade is not always going to be glamorous and romantic. 118 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 1: I think we constantly think that we should be further along, 119 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: that we should have this career of our dreams, or 120 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: even an idea of what that dream should be by 121 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: a certain age. But when you talk to more and 122 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: more people about this, you kind of realize that everyone 123 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,800 Speaker 1: is just as confused as the next. And we learn 124 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: a lot of what we think our lives should be 125 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:49,680 Speaker 1: like from very unrealistic I would say, narrow hues, from 126 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: very highly idealized depictions of what this decade should be 127 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 1: from movies from cinema, and unfortunately a lot of them 128 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: are false. So there's two things that I've come to realize. 129 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: Number One, we need to throw out any kind of 130 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:09,400 Speaker 1: thinking or prediction of what you think your life should 131 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: look like. The vision you have for your future right 132 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: now is going to change a million times, and where 133 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: you think you'll end up is probably not going to 134 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 1: be where you actually end up. 135 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 2: I would say the. 136 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: Chances are highly unlikely. You know, I finished high school 137 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 1: thinking I was going to work in politics. Then I 138 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 1: graduated union, I was a management consultant, and now three 139 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: years later, you know, I make a psychology podcast full time. 140 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: That wasn't what I had in mind. That was a 141 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: completely different idea to what I had even twelve months ago. 142 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 1: But I think it's even better because I let life 143 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,320 Speaker 1: surprise me and I didn't tie myself down to a 144 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: particular idea of who I needed to be. I let 145 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: myself change. I let myself make mistakes, because I think 146 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: that's firmly what I think this decade is for. That 147 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: is my underlying philosophy throughout this whole idea of creating 148 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,560 Speaker 1: your dream life. Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow yourself 149 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 1: to accept change. 150 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 2: I think. 151 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: Secondly, no decision or experience is ever a waste of 152 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: your time, And you also have the agency to change 153 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: your reality. 154 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,119 Speaker 2: At any point. 155 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,559 Speaker 1: It's really never too late to make a life altering decision. 156 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: You can be fifty and decide to go back to school. 157 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: You can be thirty five and quit your job. You 158 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: can be eighty before you really, you know, find your passion, 159 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: you start your first book, you meet the love of 160 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: your life. You're not a passive actor or a sidekick 161 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: in your own life. That's something we really need to remember. 162 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: You are the main character. So what's kind of stopping 163 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: you from trying on different versions of yourself and seeing 164 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: which one fits? You know, what's stopping you from deciding 165 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: that one day you know the corporate life isn't for 166 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: you, you're quitting your job, or maybe you're doing the reverse. 167 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: You can give a million reasons why you cannot do that, 168 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,439 Speaker 1: But I think when your happiness is the number one priority, 169 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,960 Speaker 1: especially during this decade where I think we're allowed to 170 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,959 Speaker 1: be a lot more selfish than other decades, when you're 171 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,000 Speaker 1: kind of on this journey of creating your dream life, 172 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: happiness is really the core factor in your decision making. 173 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 1: So in this episode, Part one of this episode, we 174 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:27,000 Speaker 1: are going to break down my ten key tips to 175 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: getting the most out of your career, your finances, and 176 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,960 Speaker 1: your time in your twenties to create your dream life, 177 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: set yourself up for success, but also really enjoy this 178 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 1: sacred period of your life. So, without further ado, let's 179 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:50,280 Speaker 1: get into it. The big dilemma I think that we 180 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: need to overcome first and foremost when we're working towards 181 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 1: this idea of creating our dream life, is actually understanding. 182 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: What that looks like. 183 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 1: Now, that's a highly individual question, depending on factors like 184 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 1: our values, family, expectations, culture, even the books and movies 185 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: that we've been exposed to. That conceptualization is going to 186 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: look really different for everyone. You know, For some people, 187 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:21,600 Speaker 1: our twenties are about complete freedom and minimal responsibility, and 188 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: for others they're focused on settling down or pursuing love 189 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: or your soulmate. In fact, I really think that on 190 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: this whole planet, you could never find two people who 191 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: are perfectly aligned on what they want from this decade, 192 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: because there isn't one correct answer. I think where we 193 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,120 Speaker 1: get in trouble is when we compare our idea of 194 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: happiness and success as well to someone else's and we 195 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: really begin to doubt whether our aspirations are actually good 196 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,559 Speaker 1: enough or whether someone else has it more figured out 197 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: than us. That right there, I think is a one 198 00:11:55,640 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: way ticket to very deep emotional, spiritual, mental desaturer faction, 199 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:06,120 Speaker 1: because someone else's ambition and motivation for pursuing a certain 200 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: path is not going to be aligned with yours. And 201 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: I think focusing on someone else's plan, focusing on someone 202 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: else's idea of fulfillment, someone else's success, just really detracts 203 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: from your own enjoyment of your life because you're constantly 204 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: holding up a mirror to someone else's. As the saying goes, 205 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: you know, energy flows where attention goes, and if there's 206 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,559 Speaker 1: one thing that you need to create your dream life 207 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,719 Speaker 1: during this decade, it is to direct all of your 208 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: energy into what is going to make you happy, both 209 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: in the moment and in the future. So our first 210 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: exercise is to determine what kind of decade you want 211 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: your twenties to be, noting that this can and I 212 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 1: think definitely will change, and you should really be testing 213 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: this idea regularly. But at every stage when you find 214 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: yourself perhaps at a crossroads or feeling really stuck, which 215 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,320 Speaker 1: we know is a super common experience, what you need 216 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: to ask yourself is a what makes you happy b 217 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: what makes you fulfilled? Because those are different things, and 218 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:18,479 Speaker 1: see what conditions are necessary to fulfill those two factors. 219 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: I say that third factor of what conditions are necessary 220 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,200 Speaker 1: as the last one, because I think that this should 221 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: enable those first two factors. It's also something that is 222 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,960 Speaker 1: most flexible and it shouldn't be a condition or a 223 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: factor that limits what you're looking for in your life 224 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: or when we start making a plan for the future, 225 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: especially during this decade, I think we often set out 226 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: to make a bit of a checklist, one that feels 227 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: very constrictive and linear. You know, do X to achieve Y, PASCO, 228 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: collect certain experiences, achieve certain milestones, and happiness is kind 229 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: of guaranteed. And when we put ourselves into a category 230 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: where we feel like we need to meet certain conditions 231 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 1: to do something, we also feel that we can't do 232 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,719 Speaker 1: everything and that we're closing ourselves off to other possibilities, 233 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: which actually creates a lot of paralysis because if we 234 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 1: are feeling like we're forced to make a decision, if 235 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: we're feeling like we have to give up opportunities in 236 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,000 Speaker 1: order to pursue something in particular, that's going to really 237 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: decrease our motivation and our sense of satisfaction with that 238 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: when you're with that choice. And I think what's more 239 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 1: accurate is that you can't do everything. 240 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,120 Speaker 2: At once, but you can do everything. 241 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: Ten years is a really, really long time, and I 242 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: think to put that into perspective, think about everything that 243 00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,240 Speaker 1: has happened to you since you were ten, or since 244 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: you were twelve or fifteen, or how many different chapters 245 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: you've lived through since that age you were ten years ago, 246 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,600 Speaker 1: how much your ideas about the future changed in that time. 247 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,360 Speaker 1: I think in order to confront a lot of that 248 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,280 Speaker 1: anxiety about wasting our formative years, we need to look 249 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,960 Speaker 1: at our twenties as a series of seasons. So twenty 250 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: to twenty two is season one. Maybe we focus on UNI, 251 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: we focus on figuring things out. Twenty three to twenty 252 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: five season two, we focus on giving our passions, our all, 253 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: you know, really focusing on something that is perhaps not 254 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: conventional or accepted, but something that makes us happy. Twenty 255 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: six to twenty eight, we can travel if we want. 256 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: That's another option. Twenty nine to thirty to thirty one, 257 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,000 Speaker 1: we can really focus on some level of professional or 258 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:38,400 Speaker 1: career development and viewing it as a series of chapters 259 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: rather than just one clump of ten years where you 260 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,240 Speaker 1: have to do everything possible. I think that makes us 261 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: feel like we can fit. 262 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 2: It all in. 263 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 1: Instead of creating a timeline or a checklist, a very 264 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,240 Speaker 1: constrictive way of looking at your life, I want us 265 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: to utilize the ideas around visualization to create a more 266 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: realistic depiction of what our future might look like, but 267 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 1: also one that can be flexible. Instead of thinking, this 268 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: is what I want to achieve by twenty five or 269 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: twenty eight or thirty, whatever age you have in mind, 270 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: I want you to instead imagine a random day one 271 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: year from now and picture the following things. 272 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,040 Speaker 2: Where are you living and in. 273 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: Detail, what does your space look like? Where did you 274 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 1: wake up this morning? What's your morning routine? Maybe you 275 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: went and saw some friends for lunch. Who are they? 276 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,880 Speaker 1: Who are these friends? What do they do? How are 277 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: you spending your afternoon? Are you working in a cafe? 278 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: Are you working at you know, the job you've always 279 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: wanted or taking a train somewhere amazing. Who are you texting? 280 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: Who are you talking to? Who are you fantasizing about? 281 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: What are the plans that you're working towards what are 282 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 1: you eating for dinner? And then project that same visualization 283 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: again for the version of you in five years. Think 284 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:03,280 Speaker 1: about that moment, what is making you happy, what is 285 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,879 Speaker 1: your routine looking like, what does the world around you 286 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 1: look like? And what small things from that do you 287 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: need to change to make that feeling a reality. The 288 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 1: thing is, I think deep down we already know what 289 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,679 Speaker 1: kind of future we want, or at least we know 290 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: at least one version of that. The only doubt I 291 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,720 Speaker 1: think we have intrinsically is our fear that we may 292 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 1: not achieve it. But then when we picture our future 293 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 1: and ourselves in it, when we use that very powerful 294 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:39,120 Speaker 1: tool of visualization, that's not only a really powerful motivator, 295 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: but it's also incredibly affirming, and it makes us look 296 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: for a practical pathway to achieving a certain feeling rather 297 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:52,160 Speaker 1: than a quantifiable set of milestones. Now that we have 298 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,880 Speaker 1: that dream in mind, I really want to discuss how 299 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: we can form our life around that dream, or around 300 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: the feeling that we're looking to achieve. So this is 301 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,440 Speaker 1: where I really want to discuss my firstly, five key 302 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,840 Speaker 1: tips for pushing yourself forward and making the most out 303 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: of your career decisions during this decade. I think the 304 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: secret to creating your dream life in your twenties is 305 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:18,480 Speaker 1: a combination of both future planning and risk taking, striking 306 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 1: that balance. So firstly, depending on what season you're in, 307 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: whether you have a plan or not, you really need 308 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: to try as many new things as you can, even 309 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,639 Speaker 1: when they feel scary. There's this beautiful quote that I 310 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: reflect on a lot. The unlived life is not worth examining. 311 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,960 Speaker 1: I think too many of us believe that our twenties 312 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:42,400 Speaker 1: are for thinking about what we want to do and 313 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:47,440 Speaker 1: imagining our future, but actually not doing much doing. That's 314 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,760 Speaker 1: not true. I think our twenties are for collecting the 315 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: experiences and the stories that will be the bedrock for 316 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,479 Speaker 1: our future, rather than kind of falling into what we 317 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:01,639 Speaker 1: call the cycle of an action regret. So in action regret. 318 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,639 Speaker 1: We've spoken about this before, but researchers have shown that 319 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:09,520 Speaker 1: doing something, even if it's the wrong thing, taking risks 320 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:13,320 Speaker 1: even if they don't work out, is much less likely 321 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 1: to leave you with regret than doing nothing at all. 322 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: I think additionally, our twenties are when we are most 323 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: receptive to new experiences and new interests, whilst our our 324 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 1: brains are still developing, so it really is the best 325 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 1: time to expose ourselves to novelty and newness and things 326 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 1: that might challenge our thinking, rather than feeling like we're 327 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 1: stuck as the same version as we were when we 328 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,639 Speaker 1: were eighteen or nineteen years old. The thing is, you 329 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: haven't really been an adult for all too long, so 330 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: it's unlikely that you really know what you like, what 331 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 1: makes you happy. You really haven't had that exposure to 332 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,160 Speaker 1: what's out there, and sadly, I think you can't really 333 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 1: figure out what is going to leave you feeling fulfilled 334 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: unless you give things a really solid go. And like 335 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,640 Speaker 1: I said before, let life truly surprise you. I had 336 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: this friend who spent like her whole life thinking that 337 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,399 Speaker 1: she was going to be a doctor. She had five 338 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,520 Speaker 1: months left of medical school, and someone got her a 339 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 1: random pottery course for her birthday, and within two weeks 340 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,080 Speaker 1: she'd quit medical school and was focusing on being an 341 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 1: artist full time. And I know that sounds really drastic, 342 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,159 Speaker 1: but this is the time for you to do that, 343 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,480 Speaker 1: because you can't really hurt anyone by deciding to make 344 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: yourself happier in those moments, and by deciding to pursue 345 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: something that might be different. If you are in a 346 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: moment of stagnation, you've been doing the same thing for 347 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 1: some time, it's time to switch it up, because I 348 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 1: think you don't want to blink and realize that the 349 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 1: things you did at twenty two are the same stories 350 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: you're telling at twenty eight because you haven't given yourself 351 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: the space to be uncomfortable and make new experiences. This 352 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,360 Speaker 1: really leads me to tip to take as many risks 353 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,919 Speaker 1: as possible, even if they're not conventional, because you have 354 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,000 Speaker 1: no idea how they might pay off. One thing in 355 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: particular I think everyone should be doing in their twenties 356 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,200 Speaker 1: is to move to a new city. Pushing yourself into 357 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:12,880 Speaker 1: a new environment is such a catalyst for self growth 358 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,760 Speaker 1: and self awareness. Let this be your motivation if you 359 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: have been thinking about it, learning to live on your own, 360 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 1: support yourself, and create new connections beyond what you're comfortable in. 361 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 1: For me, that has been such a profound contributor to 362 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:34,159 Speaker 1: my identity, a huge hallmark of my twenties, and I 363 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 1: think my sense of independence, my confidence, even you know, 364 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 1: my overall enjoyment in life has just blossomed, expanded, grown 365 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 1: a hundred times. I can't even fathom how many things 366 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,440 Speaker 1: I would have missed out on if I hadn't left 367 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 1: home at seventeen and then again moved to Sydney at 368 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,760 Speaker 1: twenty two. It really scares me to think about that, 369 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 1: all these beautiful experiences that I was rewarded with for 370 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,960 Speaker 1: taking that even when it felt scary. I just can't 371 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,239 Speaker 1: imagine how empty I would feel if I hadn't done that, 372 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 1: and how haunted I would be by the possibility. I 373 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 1: always say this, but I think the easiest thing you 374 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 1: can do is what is most convenient, and sadly, I 375 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 1: think that's normally the path most people take, one of 376 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: comfort and convenience where we really have You know, we 377 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,679 Speaker 1: never give ourselves a reason to challenge whether our lives 378 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,000 Speaker 1: could be better, because we are too scared that we 379 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: might make them worse. There's two things I want to 380 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: say about that. Firstly, there is really only so much 381 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 1: screwing up that you can do in your twenties, and 382 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,800 Speaker 1: there are only a very select few amount of decisions 383 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,800 Speaker 1: that are going to ruin your life. Everything is temporary, firstly, 384 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: but also everything can be reversed, except for the decisions 385 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: that you didn't make. I'm going to say that one 386 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: more time. Everything can be reversed except for the decisions 387 00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:56,640 Speaker 1: that you didn't make. 388 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:57,640 Speaker 2: And I'm not. 389 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: Asking you to do something fraudulent or d but just 390 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,919 Speaker 1: to do things you are scared to do, because I 391 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 1: think living with that existential potential and question of the 392 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 1: what if is going to be a lot more emotionally 393 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:15,480 Speaker 1: painful in the long term than that experience of momentary fear. Secondly, 394 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:19,280 Speaker 1: there's this idea in psychology around the distinction between bounded 395 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: and unbounded risk that just kind of furthers the argument 396 00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 1: that you can take chances and still pursue those same 397 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:31,399 Speaker 1: goals and still feel secure. Bounded risks are risks that 398 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:36,720 Speaker 1: have limited downside, but unbounded unlimited upside. So these kinds 399 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: of risks they might cost you upfront, they might involve 400 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:44,200 Speaker 1: an investment in time or money or resources, but there 401 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: is no ceiling, there is no limit to the potential 402 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 1: upsides and reward. So starting a podcast, for example, a 403 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,679 Speaker 1: side hustle, a YouTube channel, choosing to go back to 404 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 1: UNI for something you're passionate about, those are all examples 405 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: of bounded risks. You invest sometime in content creation or study, 406 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 1: some money in equipment or a membership, but it's not 407 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,120 Speaker 1: going to cost you your life, your friendships, your career, 408 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,760 Speaker 1: your financial security. It's just going to enhance the features 409 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: that are already there. And you know, if it doesn't 410 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,240 Speaker 1: take off, if your podcast isn't successful, you have a 411 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,040 Speaker 1: bounded loss. You can't lose more than what you invested in, 412 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: you know, But if it grows viral, or you find 413 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,120 Speaker 1: a highly engaged audience, or you discover this really niche 414 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,119 Speaker 1: passion and a demand for your skills, there is no 415 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: limit to how far that can go. I'm going to 416 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,119 Speaker 1: give you the example I know best, which is in 417 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,360 Speaker 1: terms of this show and this podcast that you're listening 418 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: to right now. When I started it, yeah there was 419 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: potential to be embarrassed, but really the worst that could 420 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: have happened was that no one listened. And guess what 421 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,919 Speaker 1: if I hadn't started the podcast, no one would be 422 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:58,240 Speaker 1: listening anyways. But theoretically, when you choose something like a 423 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:01,360 Speaker 1: bounded risk, like starting a YouTube channel or a podcast 424 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:05,520 Speaker 1: or a TikTok something like that, theoretically you can reach 425 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 1: anyone with an Internet connection. There is limited cost. And 426 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: then also unlimited payoff. You know this is my job now, 427 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: that's so crazy to me. This is my calling and 428 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,600 Speaker 1: the why is so clear to me. But if I'd 429 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:22,880 Speaker 1: been too scared or uncomfortable to take that risk, none 430 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 1: of that would have happened. So maybe I'm a success story. 431 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:27,439 Speaker 2: Maybe I'm not. 432 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 1: But you really have no idea what the world will 433 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,239 Speaker 1: reward you with when you decide to do things that 434 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,000 Speaker 1: most people feel too afraid to do, and you know 435 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: it's your twenties. At the end of the day, mistakes 436 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: just make for excellent stories, and some people may see 437 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 1: a downside in that, but I think good stories just 438 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 1: make you a more fascinating, multi dimensional human. So why 439 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,159 Speaker 1: not do it? And one of the best risks I 440 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,960 Speaker 1: think you can take? And also my third tip is 441 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 1: to quit the job you hate. I've spoken about this before, 442 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 1: and to be honest, people weren't too big of a 443 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: fan of it. But I really want to lay out 444 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 1: my evidence and reasoning for this if anyone out there 445 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: needs convincing. This is not the decade for you to 446 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: stay anywhere do anything you don't love. 447 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:17,639 Speaker 2: Out of an obligation. 448 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: You have years of that, years to do that, years 449 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: to put yourself through the responsibility of needing to keep 450 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,640 Speaker 1: a job. I don't think now is that time when 451 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,840 Speaker 1: we're talking about creating our dream life. If you are 452 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,679 Speaker 1: someone who is working full time, one third of that 453 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: life you are creating will be at work. When we 454 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: look at our life in its totality, that is thirty 455 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 1: percent of our time, ninety thousand hours, ninety thousand hours 456 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: of your life. I can't even begin to contemplate how 457 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: large that number is. Imagine being in the biggest stadium 458 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: you've ever been in, and imagine talking to every single 459 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: person in that stadium for an hour, row by row, 460 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,960 Speaker 1: section by section, seat by seat. That would take an 461 00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 1: incredibly long time. And that is the time that you're 462 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: investing into a job that you might not love, that 463 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: you might not like, that leaves you overworked, miserable, bored, unfulfilled. 464 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,600 Speaker 1: And so can you really give yourself a reason other 465 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: than money and stability why you should stay And when 466 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,879 Speaker 1: you create a hierarchy of what's important to you, does 467 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: money really sit above your well being or your happiness 468 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: and your joy in life. I'm guessing probably not. And 469 00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 1: it goes back to that first item. You need to 470 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 1: try as many new things as you can, because there 471 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,040 Speaker 1: could be a job out there for you that you 472 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 1: absolutely adore, that you you know, leaves you feeling so 473 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: happy and fulfilled and meaningful. So why don't you deserve 474 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: to be there? This is really your only life, and 475 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: work is a part of that. It's a part of 476 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:55,359 Speaker 1: that reality. So in ten twenty years, are you going 477 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 1: to be proud of yourself if you stayed somewhere you 478 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: weren't happy just because it was easier than the effort 479 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 1: it would take to do something that you loved more. 480 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 1: Quit the job. Trust me, I did it. You have 481 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,720 Speaker 1: time to be a corporate drone, you have time to 482 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:12,440 Speaker 1: sell your soul to a boss. But I don't think 483 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 1: that your twenties are that time. That advice might sound 484 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,600 Speaker 1: quite militant and intense, maybe a bit Marxist, which I get, 485 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: I understand, but I also want to say, if you 486 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: love your job, that is absolutely something that you should 487 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:29,160 Speaker 1: hold onto. You are very lucky and I think that 488 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,919 Speaker 1: that is a real blessing. Congratulations. But this advice is 489 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,920 Speaker 1: for if you have any doubts that your current career 490 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 1: is not bringing you fulfillment. I do think that that 491 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: lack of fulfillment. That dissatisfaction is only solidified over time, 492 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: so to give you that edge. This really relates to 493 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 1: my next tip, and to be able to transfer to 494 00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: new jobs, new beginnings, but also to give you the 495 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 1: freedom to transition perhaps between work and time exploring and 496 00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,440 Speaker 1: trying other things. My fourth tip is to develop a 497 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 1: specific skill, something that is very unique, as almost an 498 00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: insurance for your future. So things like audio editing, things 499 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 1: like being a nurse, things like copywriting, some kind of coding, 500 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,560 Speaker 1: a unique skill, a unique thing that you can put 501 00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 1: on your resume that is evergreen, that is always going 502 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 1: to have some kind of commodification. So why is this 503 00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: valuable and why is it on this list? I think 504 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 1: this is valuable because it gives you the security to 505 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 1: be able to make decisions from a place of longing 506 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: and from your heart rather than practicality, knowing that you 507 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: have something to fall back onto, whilst also expanding the 508 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: avenues and dimensions of your life beyond your career. Whatever 509 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: you choose to do that is totally up to you. 510 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: But I also think that I cannot sit here and 511 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 1: give advice about creating a beautiful future if we're not 512 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 1: also thinking about what that foundation might look like, and 513 00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: some of the practicalities and contextual factors around needing money 514 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,960 Speaker 1: to live and needing money to explore, and needing money 515 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: to take time off work. So I think that made five. 516 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: But I'm going to give one extra, and that is 517 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 1: to start writing down your goals and setting up five 518 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:19,080 Speaker 1: achievable goals per year. So one professional goal, one personal goal, 519 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: one financial goal, one health goal, and finally what I 520 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,479 Speaker 1: call a soulful goal, So that is a goal that 521 00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 1: feeds you mentally, psychologically, emotionally. That may not look like 522 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 1: something we would set as a goal from the outside. 523 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: It might not look important to others, but it's important 524 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 1: for ourselves and for keeping in touch with our authenticity 525 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: and our sense of wonder. Adulthood. If we take it 526 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 1: too seriously, sometimes can suck a lot of the fun 527 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,280 Speaker 1: out of our twenties. You know, remember what it was 528 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,440 Speaker 1: like when you played like a bunch of instruments and 529 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 1: you played sport with your friends and you were like 530 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,280 Speaker 1: building a sticker collection, or you were like making little 531 00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: songs on your keyboard. That is still important in our twenties. 532 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: So I think focusing on something that elevates the small 533 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:08,240 Speaker 1: pleasures and keeps you centered on enjoying life is really important, 534 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:12,240 Speaker 1: you know, maybe pursuing a sport or a yoga course, 535 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 1: or making time to make art, asking yourself like I 536 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 1: want to make a couple of art pieces a year, 537 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,520 Speaker 1: and I'm not going to give them twenty one. I'm 538 00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:21,640 Speaker 1: just going to keep them to myself. I want to 539 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,600 Speaker 1: make sure that I plan at least one beach trip, 540 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: or I do a girls trip or a trip on 541 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,760 Speaker 1: my own, something that is going to feed your soul 542 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: that you prioritize in your life. That is an important 543 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: part of the goals that you're setting for the future. 544 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: I think those five goals, those five categories give your 545 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: life a sense of structure so that you're not kind 546 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,000 Speaker 1: of sucked into a Peter Pan complex wanting to be 547 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 1: aimless and young forever. But it also keeps the balance 548 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: balance being the keyword of this episode, between focus and freedom. Importantly, 549 00:31:57,160 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 1: we also have to recognize that these goals they may 550 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 1: and most likely will change, and also you don't need 551 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: to achieve them. 552 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 2: In the next two days or the next two weeks. 553 00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,000 Speaker 1: One of the biggest mistakes I think we make in 554 00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:15,160 Speaker 1: our twenties is feeling like everything is on an accelerated timeline, 555 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,560 Speaker 1: such that the time between an idea and its realization 556 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:23,480 Speaker 1: needs to be as quick as possible. Maturing is really 557 00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,960 Speaker 1: coming to terms with the fact that good things take 558 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 1: time and adjustment, and plans made in silence, with consistency 559 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: and slow, steady action are a lot more structurally sound 560 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,320 Speaker 1: than kind of these fleeting desires that we throw everything into. 561 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,840 Speaker 1: And I'm not saying don't do those things, but I 562 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:45,200 Speaker 1: think have some idea in mind of where you might 563 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 1: want to be in ten years. I really get that 564 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,240 Speaker 1: tendency to rush and feel pressure to be successful and 565 00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,840 Speaker 1: exceptional at a young age, especially with so much societal 566 00:32:55,920 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 1: pressure and the idealization of the wonder kin for young success. 567 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,560 Speaker 1: But really slow down and take this moment for what 568 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 1: it is. You're never going to get this time back. 569 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: That's something I hear time and time again from mentors 570 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 1: or people who are older than me. Plans will take time. 571 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,000 Speaker 1: You don't need to rush and get them done right now. 572 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,480 Speaker 1: You are completely okay to have your small micro goals 573 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: that give you a sense of motivation and give you 574 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:28,080 Speaker 1: a sense of that visualization tactic we were talking about before. 575 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 1: You know, if your goal is to do something huge, 576 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: How can you prepare for that over time in a 577 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 1: way that is sustainable, focusing on the little steps you 578 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: take and tying them back to the big but also 579 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: giving yourself freedom around that to go on trips, to 580 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:47,080 Speaker 1: do things that really spark joy and feel exciting and 581 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: feel like the experiences we should be having in our twenties. 582 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: I think we've had enough career advice and conversations on 583 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:57,560 Speaker 1: careers so far in this episode, So what I want 584 00:33:57,600 --> 00:34:01,880 Speaker 1: to move on to talking about next is finances and money. 585 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:04,760 Speaker 1: Not something we talk about on the show a lot, 586 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:09,560 Speaker 1: but really important. Nonetheless, something extremely valuable to discuss when 587 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,200 Speaker 1: we are contemplating this idea of our dream life and 588 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,320 Speaker 1: how to set ourselves up for success in our twenties. 589 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:24,360 Speaker 1: So all of that and more after this shortbreak. Money 590 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,320 Speaker 1: in our twenties is something that we do not discuss 591 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,480 Speaker 1: a lot. I think because our positions on kind of 592 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 1: the well scale between our friends, our colleagues, and then 593 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 1: people like our parents is so nuanced and diverse that 594 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,799 Speaker 1: it feels awkward to speak on. You know, we have 595 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,920 Speaker 1: friends who are still at UNI, some of. 596 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 2: Them are working. 597 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: We don't really want to put it out there that 598 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: we might have less money than they might have more. 599 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,800 Speaker 1: There's also this level of discomfort and shame and taboo 600 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:58,160 Speaker 1: around money, which I actually think is not doing us 601 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 1: any favors. It's not empowering to make informed decisions, like 602 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,360 Speaker 1: how do I spend my money in my twenties? Is 603 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 1: everyone saving money? Does everyone have money for a house? 604 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: Or is everyone as frivolous as me? Is everyone prioritizing experiences. 605 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,200 Speaker 1: It's really hard to know because I think not only 606 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 1: do people not talk about it in our personal lives, 607 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:21,920 Speaker 1: but there are very very few discussions about it in 608 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,800 Speaker 1: things like our education system or even online in the media. 609 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,880 Speaker 1: So let's crack that open today. Let's really examine maybe 610 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,280 Speaker 1: how you should be spending your money in your twenties. 611 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 1: I'm going to make a really big caveat here. You 612 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,480 Speaker 1: should be spending your money how you want to spend it. 613 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 1: I think financial responsibility and literacy is something that we 614 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,719 Speaker 1: all claim in our own time. And I also think 615 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 1: this is just my opinion and my advice for how 616 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 1: I choose to spend my money and how I'm trying 617 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 1: to set myself up for a success. I also think 618 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:58,640 Speaker 1: this is a psychology podcast, and we cannot discuss our 619 00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:02,319 Speaker 1: opinions and perspectives and feelings towards money without thinking about 620 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:06,160 Speaker 1: where that came from. I think whilst we should save 621 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,759 Speaker 1: when and where we can when possible, we also need 622 00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:13,000 Speaker 1: to reframe money as a resource and a tool rather 623 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,279 Speaker 1: than as a source of joy. But some of us 624 00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: have had different childhood perspectives on that, and different influential 625 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:24,320 Speaker 1: experiences around money that have influenced how we treat it 626 00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 1: in our twenties. For example, you know, if you never 627 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 1: really had much, money is really synonymous to you with security, 628 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: so you might hang on to it and feel a 629 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,600 Speaker 1: lot worse or a lot more negative around spending money 630 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,120 Speaker 1: on things that might bring you joy, or you might 631 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: go the opposite way. 632 00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 2: If you've never had much. 633 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,800 Speaker 1: Money, you might now not really know how to manage 634 00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:50,480 Speaker 1: this as a resource and use it to pursue luxury 635 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,600 Speaker 1: and to give you the things that you never had. 636 00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,600 Speaker 1: I also think there are a lot of experiences, particularly 637 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,560 Speaker 1: when we're younger, and how money is treated by our 638 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,319 Speaker 1: parents and buy people around us, that can cause us 639 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:08,600 Speaker 1: to conflate income with self worth and with just worth 640 00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,319 Speaker 1: in general. So I think the first thing we really 641 00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,680 Speaker 1: need to do is de center money from our life. 642 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 1: When we speak about some of those earlier points around 643 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: taking risk and quitting your job. Money is going to 644 00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:24,279 Speaker 1: be a powerful factor, but it's also a resource. So 645 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 1: I think my biggest tip here is to in your 646 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 1: twenties spend money on experiences rather than things. You have 647 00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 1: time to save, You have time to buy a house, 648 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 1: you have time to make those financial investments that you 649 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,760 Speaker 1: want to make. And I think a lot of the media, 650 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,759 Speaker 1: and especially around TikTok and even Redder and things like that, 651 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,800 Speaker 1: a lot of what we consume from those platforms is 652 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 1: really focused on building wealth and really focused on what investments. 653 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,520 Speaker 2: You should be making. 654 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:57,759 Speaker 1: And I think that if it is that easy, as 655 00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,719 Speaker 1: a lot of these people claim for it to be, 656 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,840 Speaker 1: if you can start small, you can start small a 657 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,880 Speaker 1: little bit later. And I really think that you can 658 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:08,759 Speaker 1: save in small ways that don't require you to make 659 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:12,160 Speaker 1: drastic life adjustments in a period of your life where 660 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: you should have a little bit more freedom to enjoy 661 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,160 Speaker 1: the things around you. So spending money on experiences rather 662 00:38:18,239 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: than things, I think is a good way to accomplish this. 663 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,480 Speaker 1: One big thing I think about a lot is that 664 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,920 Speaker 1: material items are not the things that you are going 665 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:30,520 Speaker 1: to remember in fifty years, you know, the new added issues, 666 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,320 Speaker 1: trending clothing items, fancy bags. Yeah, it might make you 667 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,560 Speaker 1: really happy right now, and that's a beautiful thing, and 668 00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,600 Speaker 1: you should be able to treat yourself when you can, 669 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,680 Speaker 1: But I don't think it's worth more than the memories 670 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:46,480 Speaker 1: or experiences that you might be potentially giving up. So 671 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:50,400 Speaker 1: if there's a choice between that, between a nice item 672 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 1: and doing something that is going to let you see 673 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:55,800 Speaker 1: the world differently, or laugh with your friends, or just 674 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 1: be present something that is good for your soul and experience, 675 00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:01,839 Speaker 1: I really think that that is what we should prioritize, 676 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:05,960 Speaker 1: you know. I think you don't need trend your designer 677 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,480 Speaker 1: items to bring you joy in your twenties. I think 678 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,719 Speaker 1: those things are just nice benefits or nice additions to 679 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,480 Speaker 1: a more rich and fulfilling life. And I used to 680 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,120 Speaker 1: really use the justification that, you know, if I bought 681 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:21,919 Speaker 1: this thing, I would give it to my kids one day, 682 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,480 Speaker 1: and really that just caused clutter. You know. It made 683 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 1: me happy for a couple of days, it gave me 684 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,399 Speaker 1: that short dopamine hit, and then the buyer's remorse would 685 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 1: set in and suddenly I really wished that I had 686 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 1: more money to do things that I knew would last 687 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 1: me a lifetime, like take trips with my friends, do 688 00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:43,040 Speaker 1: the spontaneous dinners, go and have experiences. I also think 689 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,680 Speaker 1: that not all money needs to be spent. Something that 690 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,360 Speaker 1: my parents always said was that you should have dedicated 691 00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,759 Speaker 1: money for fun, but you should never spend more than 692 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,600 Speaker 1: eighty percent of your earnings, and you should always have 693 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: some level of savings. So I think think we get 694 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,920 Speaker 1: really overwhelmed when we talk about savings or investing or 695 00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:07,320 Speaker 1: putting money aside, because it feels like it's going to 696 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 1: really cost us our lifestyle. But if you just put 697 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 1: twenty five dollars a week into a high interest savings 698 00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:16,840 Speaker 1: account bare minimum, that really begins to grow, and it 699 00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,399 Speaker 1: begins to become really, really fruitful without feeling like it's 700 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:23,959 Speaker 1: impeding on some of some of those assets and money 701 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,600 Speaker 1: as a resource that can provide you with the experiences 702 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: that you really want to be having. Secondly, we're going 703 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 1: to return to this idea of social comparison because I 704 00:40:33,719 --> 00:40:36,239 Speaker 1: think it's a really big psychological factor in how we 705 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:40,320 Speaker 1: approach money in our twenties. Do not buy property or 706 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,600 Speaker 1: spend money on rent for a fancy apartment, or use 707 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,560 Speaker 1: money to impress people during this decade, or do not 708 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 1: spend money on things just because other people are doing it. 709 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 1: I think that we really conflate money with a lot 710 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,800 Speaker 1: of personal things about ourselves. I think that our society, 711 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,319 Speaker 1: our culture, and our really idolization of wealth has made 712 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,759 Speaker 1: that so it's really hard to escape. But looking at 713 00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,239 Speaker 1: how someone else is spending and feeling like you need 714 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,879 Speaker 1: to do that is a very easy way to find 715 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 1: yourself trapped in a way of spending that perhaps doesn't 716 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:20,319 Speaker 1: actually suit your lifestyle, and that broader visualization of where 717 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 1: you want to be. Using money as a tool for 718 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:27,399 Speaker 1: comparison is such a danger because we start to see 719 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: it as the most important thing about ourselves, and we 720 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,320 Speaker 1: start to think that if we live a certain lifestyle, 721 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 1: people will think a certain way about us. If we 722 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,720 Speaker 1: can say that we're doing things like buying a house 723 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: or staying in a really expensive neighborhood, that somehow that's 724 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,480 Speaker 1: going to make us happier. I think our time for 725 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,960 Speaker 1: those things, and our time for those luxuries and big 726 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 1: investments will come our early twenties, in particular, are perhaps 727 00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 1: not the time to be doing that. Part of being 728 00:41:56,680 --> 00:42:01,239 Speaker 1: an adult is worrying about money. Financial stay is one 729 00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:06,279 Speaker 1: of the biggest exogenists, meaning outside external factors contributing to 730 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,719 Speaker 1: things like anxiety and depression, particularly amongst people over the 731 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:14,279 Speaker 1: age of twenty five or thirty. And when we think 732 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:17,920 Speaker 1: about some of the other contextual factors, like potentially you know, 733 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 1: an oncoming recession or a real sense of financial uncertainty, 734 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:26,880 Speaker 1: that can further exacerbate our relationship to money as something 735 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,560 Speaker 1: that is finite. I think that what that causes the 736 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 1: bleed on effects or consequences of that is partaking in 737 00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:40,719 Speaker 1: a voluntary blindness or ignorance around our finances. Money can 738 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 1: create a lot of stress and fear, and I think 739 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 1: what that can cause us to do is to not 740 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,240 Speaker 1: examine how we're spending, why we're spending, when we're spending, 741 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 1: and in response to what And I think ignorance is 742 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:57,239 Speaker 1: definitely bliss, but ignorance is also limiting. You want to 743 00:42:57,280 --> 00:42:58,840 Speaker 1: be able to do the things you want to do, 744 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 1: and that requires some pre thought but also some knowledge. 745 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,800 Speaker 1: I really went through a time where I would not 746 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,440 Speaker 1: even look at my bank balance, and then when I 747 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,320 Speaker 1: finally sat down, I was like, Okay, what am I 748 00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,440 Speaker 1: spending most of my money on? 749 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:10,719 Speaker 2: Here? 750 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,640 Speaker 1: It was things that actually didn't bring me that much joy. 751 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,800 Speaker 1: They just brought me convenience, a lot of takeaway, a 752 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:18,520 Speaker 1: lot of uber eats, and yeah, there's a time and 753 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,680 Speaker 1: a place for that. But deciding to be knowledgeable about 754 00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,920 Speaker 1: my relationship with money and where I was spending and 755 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,839 Speaker 1: where I could save was really really valuable for giving 756 00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,439 Speaker 1: me that bit of a safety net to be able 757 00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,400 Speaker 1: to do the things I loved. Must also not sacrificing 758 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,879 Speaker 1: a lifestyle that I liked, one in which I could 759 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 1: go and have dinners with friends, I could go and 760 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,520 Speaker 1: see movies. But it also wasn't going to be exorbitant, 761 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:45,520 Speaker 1: and it wasn't going to completely consume all the money 762 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,239 Speaker 1: that I had put aside for that week or for 763 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,920 Speaker 1: that month. You know, money is a resource. 764 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,960 Speaker 2: It is not your entire life. 765 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:57,400 Speaker 1: And I also don't think that money is a reason 766 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,600 Speaker 1: to pursue a certain career or to make a decision 767 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:03,440 Speaker 1: in our twenties, unless that is a decision that you 768 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,000 Speaker 1: are willing to make. You know, it's about choosing your heart, 769 00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 1: you know, being broken, being you know, really struggling with 770 00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:15,960 Speaker 1: money and maybe not being able to do certain things 771 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,800 Speaker 1: because you're prioritizing travel or further education or following your passion. 772 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,520 Speaker 1: That is hard, But it's also hard slaving away at 773 00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:25,440 Speaker 1: a job you might not love to be able to 774 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 1: afford your first house at twenty two twenty three. It's 775 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,120 Speaker 1: about choosing your heart. What are these choices? And of 776 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:36,120 Speaker 1: the all of those other abundant choices that we could make, 777 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,040 Speaker 1: is actually most aligned with that vision that I really 778 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,600 Speaker 1: wanted you to set out the start, that vision of 779 00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 1: what happiness looks like for you in a year of 780 00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:49,360 Speaker 1: five years. Really think about where does money sit in 781 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: that picture? Is money an important factor? 782 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:53,560 Speaker 2: All right? 783 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:56,080 Speaker 1: So I think we're done with part one for now, 784 00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:02,320 Speaker 1: covering our bases around career anxiety, risk, career certainty, and 785 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:06,879 Speaker 1: then also some of the financial responsibilities and financial motivators 786 00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,239 Speaker 1: that we might encounter in this decade. I found this 787 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 1: really valuable, really important actually to reaffirm how I was 788 00:45:15,239 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 1: approaching my twenties. I think I've been feeling a little 789 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 1: bit stuck at the moment and a little bit all 790 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,000 Speaker 1: over the place as to what the future holds and 791 00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:26,200 Speaker 1: what kind of life I want to create and whether 792 00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:29,080 Speaker 1: I'm doing the right things for that future. But I 793 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:32,399 Speaker 1: think having that sense of yes, I should be taking 794 00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:36,160 Speaker 1: a risk, Yes I should be following something like my passion. No, 795 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,320 Speaker 1: that is not the end of the line for me. No, 796 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,560 Speaker 1: I'm not locked into a future just because I made 797 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,640 Speaker 1: a choice at twenty three twenty four. 798 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 2: That's a really. 799 00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,320 Speaker 1: Important thing that I think this episode allowed me to 800 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:49,760 Speaker 1: reinforce within myself. So I really hope that you enjoyed 801 00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,799 Speaker 1: it and that you come back for Part two, where 802 00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:54,759 Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about how to create your 803 00:45:54,880 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 1: dream life, particularly around relationships, love, friendship, and then of 804 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:05,480 Speaker 1: course personal growth. I think that the love factor in 805 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:09,160 Speaker 1: particular is one that we have so many questions about 806 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,600 Speaker 1: in our twenties. And I'm not going to pretend I 807 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,400 Speaker 1: have all of the answers, but some of the research 808 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,160 Speaker 1: and studies that I looked into was really eye opening 809 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,400 Speaker 1: for me to be, like, am I approaching this very 810 00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:25,799 Speaker 1: foundational emotional experience and connection in a healthy and sustainable 811 00:46:25,880 --> 00:46:29,239 Speaker 1: way that aligns with living the life I want to live. 812 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,160 Speaker 1: So we are going to return to that in part two. 813 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:36,040 Speaker 1: As always, if you enjoyed this episode, please feel free 814 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:38,920 Speaker 1: to leave a five star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, 815 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,440 Speaker 1: wherever you are listening right now, share it with a 816 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,160 Speaker 1: friend if you feel cool to do so, and if 817 00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:49,000 Speaker 1: you have an episode suggestion, follow us at that psychology podcast. 818 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:51,799 Speaker 1: I love hearing from you. I love hearing what's going 819 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,919 Speaker 1: on with your lives, what kind of experiences you want 820 00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,040 Speaker 1: me to talk about. So I appreciate all the love, 821 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: support and feedback that you give me over there, and 822 00:47:02,320 --> 00:47:05,360 Speaker 1: I will be back with part two of creating your 823 00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 1: dream life in your twenties. 824 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:12,239 Speaker 2: M