00:00:08
Speaker 1: And I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences presence enough. And I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey me?

00:00:48
Speaker 2: Welcome to, I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. Thank god. We're in the backyard. We're not on a computer or anywhere on the internet. We're just an in the backyard. What's happening in my life? I have the looming thread of jury duty this week. We're calling, we're checking in seeing if I have to go tomorrow. Analish isn't even aware of this. And we have another recording this week, so we'll just have to deal with that after the podcast. And the dishwasher's broken. These are the things in my life. So we're just going to pray for me, keep me in your thoughts. Let's get into the podcast. Today's guest is just terrific. He's so funny. It's Brian Husky.

00:01:33
Speaker 3: Welcome to. I said no gifts for sure, thank you for having me, And I just want to suddenly take command of the podcast.

00:01:40
Speaker 2: Please, I'm going to go and go in the house.

00:01:43
Speaker 3: Okay, so jury duty I had that last week you were. I was calling every day. Uh huh. Four days of just glorious rejection, right, fantastic, always feeling great. Fifth day, had to take my daughter to the doctor. Kaush had a thing. Da It was the day I was supposed to go in, and so I called up and they're like, oh, we'll just reschedule you. So now I'm back in the system.

00:02:07
Speaker 2: Oh no, so you almost dodged the whole thing.

00:02:09
Speaker 3: I almost. I almost crossed the line. I almost got out and then then and I have been called up for jerry duty more than anyone I know. And I've been in Los Angeles for seventeen years, and I think I've been called up like eleven times.

00:02:26
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's almost yearly.

00:02:28
Speaker 3: Because I respond no, no, Everyone's like, I just ignore, what are you doing? I'm like, they might find me.

00:02:35
Speaker 2: Right well, what I would like to get to the bottom of what happens when you ignore it, because the threat of getting in trouble for me is huge.

00:02:41
Speaker 3: Apparently for eight out of ten people, nothing happens. But if you're a paranoid virgo type like me, it's like well, it will happen to me, of course.

00:02:51
Speaker 2: I mean I imagine there's some sort of fine or something.

00:02:54
Speaker 3: But they say there's a fine, they say there's possible jail activity, but I mean that's something jail I know. I think you either have to have like an insane like just all your parking tickets are through the roof, or you have murdered and.

00:03:07
Speaker 2: They're like already a warrant out for your arrest. It's like, I don't need anybody paying more attention to me. This is the first time in LA that I've been called up for it.

00:03:16
Speaker 3: Oh really, how long have you been here?

00:03:18
Speaker 2: Well, I've been here for thirteen years, but the first five years I was afraid of going to the DMV. Oh okay, because I was afraid of another getting in trouble, which is, you're supposed to get a new driver's license within two weeks when you moved to La.

00:03:31
Speaker 3: Yeah. My girlfriend has been here for twenty plus years and still has her South Carolina.

00:03:37
Speaker 2: Right, and after like the two weeks, I didn't get it. I was sweating for years, just worrying I would drive back to Utah to get my license renewed. It was not a tenable situation. So those years I kind of was able to avoid jury duty because no one knew where I lived. I was kind of on the run, yeh. And then I moved to New York for a year, moved back here, got called to jury duty in Brooklyn, but I had already fled.

00:04:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, I still get Brooklyn some into interested. I wonder if there's someone there that's like, where is this guy? I know? I mean, he's very reliable in Los Angeles. Let's get him back to New York as soon as we can.

00:04:14
Speaker 2: Have you ever actually been on a jury duty I've got a jury.

00:04:17
Speaker 3: So no, I've been very close there. It seemed to happen very frequently, not frequently, pretty much like that rule of thumb that Murphy's law of Like is pilot season or I'm testing for something and jury duty's haven't they right? So there's one time I was like, I'm supposed to go in and find out if I'm going to get a job that will let me survive for however many years, or I can do this like little podunk thing. So I talked my way out of it, but I could tell he's just like another fucking actor.

00:04:48
Speaker 2: They must be dealing with that concert constantly.

00:04:50
Speaker 3: But then there's so in the in this same jury selection, there was a woman who could not understand what was being said to her, and she would say, my in is bad, and they're like, do you understand what I'm saying right now? And she would not, like, then you know what's going on?

00:05:05
Speaker 2: Like they just they'll take whoever and whatever they can understand.

00:05:09
Speaker 3: Did not care. They did not care. But the one I almost got on and I felt, I'm curious. I want to do it. I do want to do it right, I want to do it when I'm in a retired but it's like, I want to do it. But the case I almost got on was a kid was the defense is saying that he was forced to be the drive getaway driver for a drive by.

00:05:33
Speaker 2: Oh that's exciting.

00:05:34
Speaker 3: I know it would have been, and you know I already made my decision. Looking at the kid, it's like, oh, he's totally in listening this guy, he seems so scared. But yeah, I just I haven't not gotten it wow yet.

00:05:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am curious. And with the writer's strike and everything being shut down right now, I'm like, I guess this is the time for me to head on to jury duty. It's your civic duty, it is my civic duty. I'm very judgmental. I'm willing to take sides, so I feel like I'd be decent at it.

00:06:04
Speaker 3: I think maybe you have a misunderstanding of how the system works. Maybe I don't know, maybe if they've shifted it. I mean, it is twenty twenty three. I make snap judgments. They're like, I'm a bad listener. Oh he'll get this case shut down fast. Let's get this guy in here.

00:06:19
Speaker 2: But my question about the calling in and the listener loves the details of Jerry duty and this sort of thing. The logistics when I'm calling in and they're saying, don't come in. Is that because there's no case for me to go to or what's the do you have any idea?

00:06:34
Speaker 3: Don't think it's they have, Like so they have a bunch of idiots like us who are dumb enough to call in, And they're like, Okay, enough dummies have called in. We've got the people we need. Because then you go in and you just sit and then maybe you don't even get called out. Okay, So then you just go in, you're exposed to COVID, you're bored, you eat bad food, and then maybe you get put on case because you might say that might be part of your jury. Dude, is that you go in and just sit in a fluorescent.

00:07:02
Speaker 2: Room for a seat filler? Interesting? Yeah, well we'll see what happens. I've got four more days of it, and.

00:07:09
Speaker 3: Now nine out of ten of the cases are end up being for that show Jerry Duty.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Hey, yeah, of course that's my plan to become a stone.

00:07:17
Speaker 3: That's the only one that worked out. They shot so much footage of these other cases, but this one kept together. Right.

00:07:23
Speaker 2: My question about that show, and I've only seen a few of the episodes, but I want to know how they got the guy because you know we're talking about you have to call in, you have all this official stuff. How did they deal with that part of the guy getting tricked into the show? I think they made a fake number and just mailed him random. I think they just lied to him, like just completely.

00:07:46
Speaker 3: It's just shattered. I mean my I watched it with my daughter, who was really into it, and I was. I had a bunch of opinions because I was asked to audition for a movie that was like a prank movie. Okay, so I was like, everyone except for the lead actor is in on the prank, right and did the audition. This is like one of my normal ray moments where I was like, fuck you. But I did the audition and like that was great. And I was like, Okay, I know that was great and I know I could do great, but I will never do this project and I will tell you fuck you as an actor for doing this project. And I like walked out there. But but it was like, it is such a betrayal.

00:08:26
Speaker 2: It's a real, like a huge shattering someone's reality.

00:08:29
Speaker 3: So my daughter was watching the show. She's really into it, and then when they revealed it, it was like it all made sense to her all of a sudden. She's like, oh my god, they've been gaslighting this guy this whole time. He made friends with these people, and now, oh my god. I was like, yeah, that's that's what a prank show is.

00:08:44
Speaker 2: It is a just like teaching someone to never trust anyone again.

00:08:48
Speaker 3: It is a it is a further erosion of our mistrust of what. I was wondering if they did some kind of profiling thing of him, because he was like the most amenable, you know, like he just worked with everybody is sympathetic, empathetic and.

00:09:04
Speaker 2: Stuff, because that could go in such a horrible direction. Yeah, and the person you end up giving them, however much money, and then they immediately find some horrible thing online about them, and then the show's ruined.

00:09:16
Speaker 3: I mean the one I will say, the one thing I liked about the show was that they made them a team as opposed to everybody kind of messing with him like he was just he was in the presence of people acting insane and so acting insane at him.

00:09:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, he wasn't the idiot or the fool, but still a fascinating I don't know how I would be able to continue operating as a person after that happening.

00:09:38
Speaker 3: Just what he said. For about a month or so afterwards, he thought he was being followed. He thought he's being filmed all the time. Oh no, then he literally got called up for jury duty. He had to say, like, is this is this season two? Like I don't understand what's going on?

00:09:57
Speaker 2: To get tricked again, Yeah.

00:10:00
Speaker 3: It'll be sure goods before the Supreme Court.

00:10:05
Speaker 2: Wow, that's fascinating. Well, good luck to him and yeah, whatever is. God bless him, God bless him for doing you know, hopefully he'll turn this into some kind of like career that'll compete with us of being fooled constantly. No, he'll be like he'll be selling vitamins on Instagram or something. There will be some entertainment adjacent thing that he's doing.

00:10:24
Speaker 3: He'll probably like be hired by some like fraud protection technology.

00:10:28
Speaker 2: That's a great idea.

00:10:30
Speaker 3: Nobody LIFs get fooled, especially me or the jury duty system brings him in as the happy face. Yeah, he's like the little video they have to watch.

00:10:39
Speaker 2: Oh is there a video you have to watch? There's always that feels like an acting opportunity. Oh yeah, well I think they're still using the one from nineteen eighty three. Okay, right, that makes sense.

00:10:48
Speaker 3: It's got the warbly sort of like video lines have been digitized now, but.

00:10:51
Speaker 2: It's I haven't had to watch one of those videos in a long time. The last one I remember is when I worked at Albertson's and oh wow, it was very well produced.

00:10:59
Speaker 3: Was it an A?

00:11:00
Speaker 2: It was an HR and it was kind of a I think in the form of a talk show. They had fun with it. But yeah, I haven't been in a position where I've had to watch one since I think we do, like when you write on a show, there's the mandatory sexual harassment or whatever. Yeah, but I feel like that often gets forgotten, which is probably a big problem with the entertainment industry in general. I mean, I'm sexually harassing people constantly.

00:11:26
Speaker 3: I mean, it's just funny, that's the thing.

00:11:29
Speaker 2: I'm just going after anybody. I can, you know, if I don't see a video, I'm on the loose.

00:11:33
Speaker 3: I mean, if you're if you're like on the list, especially like one through ten, you can just say that you were just picking or you were in character. Like that's the full defense. I'm a simply character. I'm a Jared Lado type. Yeah.

00:11:49
Speaker 2: Well, what's been going on with you? Outside of not having to do jury duty?

00:11:52
Speaker 3: Oh man, well, not working because there's this this pick a strike strike strike. What's been going on with me? I just came back from being in North Carolina, which is where I'm from.

00:12:06
Speaker 2: Oh lovely where North Carolina.

00:12:08
Speaker 3: Originally from Charlotte, North Carolina. And then I was in Wilmington Wrightsville Beach visiting some friends. But a friend of mine is about to move to Japan, move back to Japan for a year.

00:12:20
Speaker 2: Best wishes to them.

00:12:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I did that and I sort of dipped my toe back into not La in a good way. And this was like Wrightsville Beach where we were. So it's a lot of like, you know, kind of slightly dumpy men who are once fit. They still have a good head of hair, does not all gray. They wear a polo, khaki shorts, duck head belt, docksiders and no socks.

00:12:49
Speaker 2: Right, kind of the Murdoch family.

00:12:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, just like the full uniform is not changed in centuries. My friends married some money, so he's kind of benefited, but he's he's very adjacent to.

00:13:03
Speaker 2: That kind of see part of a southern dynasty.

00:13:06
Speaker 3: Not really, No, it's like he just his wife's dad like invented some kind of like like I don't know what he invented, but he basically invented the equivalent of like you know that snap that goes on you know, a jean jacket or whatever. I made that.

00:13:22
Speaker 2: Or it's like, oh, I invented boxes and now everybody uses the boxes sort of or zippers or.

00:13:27
Speaker 3: What I made lids. I came up with lids.

00:13:29
Speaker 2: That was my I'm the guy behind lids. People are sloshing around all over the place before the sky.

00:13:35
Speaker 3: There's no top on anything where I came on sharks?

00:13:38
Speaker 2: Uh? Why am I not related to an inventor? I guess inventing can go in a lot of directions, though there are some inventors who are just struggling.

00:13:47
Speaker 3: I always equate anyone who says they're an inventor. I just feel like they're sad, like sort of like a determined failure.

00:13:57
Speaker 2: You had to label yourself an inventor, It's like, yeah, well show you. You better show me one thing lest I.

00:14:03
Speaker 3: Mean yeah, unless you just have this sort of like Edison list, it's just like, wow, you all that stuff.

00:14:09
Speaker 2: Otherwise you're just failed product after failed product.

00:14:12
Speaker 3: I can't remember what it was, but my friends and I one time thought that we had stumbled on something great. What wasn't I really can't remember. It was back in like college, so it was probably like drug fuel, right, But one of them like went so far as to sort of try to register it and see if he could get it and stuff. Wow, and it just fell apart.

00:14:31
Speaker 2: Okay, who knows where you'd be if you had been able to invent it.

00:14:34
Speaker 3: Might it must not have been great.

00:14:36
Speaker 1: Beau.

00:14:36
Speaker 3: I don't remember what it was. It wasn't lids. I remember that.

00:14:40
Speaker 2: I feel like to be taken to become an inventor. If you just decide you're going to be an inventor without an idea, that's a bad path to go down.

00:14:46
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:14:46
Speaker 2: I feel like you have to just like recognize a problem and say I'm going to invent that. Then that's the spark of the inventing.

00:14:52
Speaker 3: The other sort version of that is my sister's first husband's brother was wanted to like obsessed with board games and wanted to design board games.

00:15:03
Speaker 2: A lot of money on board games, a.

00:15:04
Speaker 3: Lot of money board games, but a lot of failure, a lot of like R and D and failure. Right, he just I mean he and he did it for ten years. He'd go to conventions, he would pitch them. I mean, it's like it's like a TV souce. I was like, And the longer I knew him, and then the deeper I got into my career, I was like, you know what you're You're very similar to what I have to go through, Like literally have to like pitch it, show how appealing it is, like a mass appeal of it and stuff.

00:15:30
Speaker 2: And do you have to like create like a prototype board game. I assume, Yeah, it seems stressful. I know what sort of games was he creating? Do you have any idea?

00:15:39
Speaker 3: They all seem to be sort of like strategy and wargy, all of the big ones, I know, And that's where I like, I feel like the big ones would just be like you know, turtle hump or whatever. I don't know, it's just like, yeah, I find the find a penny. You know, something is just like super simple that everybody can do it, or or the other version is one that's that there's no board, but it's just cards and ego.

00:16:05
Speaker 2: Driven right where everybody gets their feelings hurt.

00:16:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, trivia based or like pictionary or you know, secret share.

00:16:14
Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite board game?

00:16:16
Speaker 3: Ah, here comes Grandpa Scrabble. Of course, yeah, I love scrap I love scrabble. Scrabble was got to be a poisonous during pandemic though, Oh my feelings wise, yeah, my girlfriend, I recognize that we would both slip into just like such pew bescent, like snarky, like me, fuck you forgetting that word, and you know, and it was already like a struggle every day to sort of like stay afloat emotionally, it really play scrabbled them there one night She's like, no, we're not gonna do it anymore.

00:16:49
Speaker 2: Well, it's a game where you really are trying to prove that you're smarter than everybody. Yeah, and everyone's feeling a little dominance cure. Then we also got into Athello, which is cool, but that's based on the play.

00:17:00
Speaker 3: But it's a role playing thing. We're spicing up our sex. Like. But it was like, do you know if ill? No, I don't. It's it is black and white chips. Okay, so black and one side white on the other. And what you do is so I put down a white chip, and then you would put down a black chip, and then I can put a white chip on either side of your chip diagonally or horizontally or whatever, and then I flip it over. So it's about flipping over each other's chip.

00:17:31
Speaker 2: Oh right, almost, Like I don't know, it's I actually have no point of comparison.

00:17:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that one though. And yeah, but it gets to a point where somebody is just they just start losing really badly.

00:17:44
Speaker 2: Right where you just dominate them.

00:17:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, And then and this is just a visual field of failure. It's just like, oh my god, look at how bad I am.

00:17:51
Speaker 2: But for the winner, what a satisfying feeling? Oh yeah, yeah, I just know the fuse has been letting. The other person doesn't stand a change.

00:17:57
Speaker 3: There was a lot of ego propping up dragon pans, just a lot.

00:18:01
Speaker 2: Of I love the chips. I love any chip in a game. Yeah, smooth stones, whatever, It's always a satisfying thing to hold.

00:18:08
Speaker 3: Other what's what's the stone one?

00:18:10
Speaker 2: Oh? Where it's like a bag of pebbles, almost shiny.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: And like a long looks like it's like a two bar FOURD this.

00:18:16
Speaker 2: Movie with the little scoops in that. I love that game. I don't know what it is on, at least do you have any idea what that is? Based on this baffling description.

00:18:23
Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm pronouncing it right, but Moncla, it's like the little round stones that you get to hold in your hands.

00:18:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love a game piece. I certainly love a game to the.

00:18:35
Speaker 3: Checkers a little bit too interesting, which is great until it gets to the chase scene where it's just like there's two kings and I would always be like, no, we're going to do this still we're done. She's like, fuck you, this is going to go on forever.

00:18:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you get to that final bit and it's just.

00:18:52
Speaker 3: It was just it was either just decimation or just like two people like chase each other on the board.

00:18:56
Speaker 2: Did checkers feel interesting enough for you as an adult.

00:19:01
Speaker 3: Kind of it? Did it felt interesting because because she wasn't good at it, and so that again was propping on my ego a little bit. And then she got better, it got interesting, right, but then she identified as like we always get to this point where it's just we're just running around and you don't want to give it up. So boring is checkers?

00:19:24
Speaker 2: I mean it looks like chess. Is it just chess for dumb people? Is that ultimately what we're calling checkers? Or are they very different games?

00:19:32
Speaker 3: They're kind of different games. I mean it's like I think it's it's two move chess.

00:19:39
Speaker 2: Oh that's right, it's like a minimal chess.

00:19:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do. You can move one way for a while, and then if you dress one of them up like a king, then you can move them anyway you want.

00:19:47
Speaker 2: Right right.

00:19:49
Speaker 3: Interesting, So it's like it's like Rooks who Become Kings.

00:19:53
Speaker 2: Right, Oh, that's a nice title for something.

00:19:56
Speaker 3: Oh man, pitching a new one like this is Checkers. It's called Rooks w Become Kings. It's a coming of age story. You put on the crown when you win. It doesn't dress that game. Anyone can do it. Yeah.

00:20:08
Speaker 2: I haven't played Checkers or chess, and I shouldn't say Checkers is chess for dumb people, because I don't know the rules to even checkers.

00:20:13
Speaker 3: At this point, we were maybe going to get into chess, and then it just seems it's overwhelming.

00:20:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, then you've got the what was the TV series? Oh the Queens gam But yeah, did you get into that?

00:20:27
Speaker 3: I guess I did it, Okay. I feel like there's a lot of shows that I like, oh man, this is good, and then when I like, when I finished, I was like, that wasn't that great. There's a lot of shows like that.

00:20:36
Speaker 2: There are, like I think, a lot of shows that get wildly praised by the Internet. Everyone's going crazy for it and get into this fever and then it's done. You're like, oh, I was tricked. We we're all tricks. Yeah, this is stupid.

00:20:48
Speaker 3: I feel that way about Yellow Jackets right now. Oh interesting, I'm watching it with my My daughter is sixteen and she wants to be a writer, so I'm very enthusiastic to just watch anything with her and talk about it. But this one, I was like, Eh, I don't know, that's a big ask for me to just ignore this reality and say that's happening.

00:21:09
Speaker 2: Yeah. That kind of happened with me with that series too. I finished the first season, I was like, I don't know that I need to keep going down this path. Yeah, I don't know that I'm ever going to be satisfied. Yeah, and I don't even know what I was feeling.

00:21:21
Speaker 3: While watch Yeah.

00:21:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I felt like I was watching fifty different TV shows and I wasn't quite satisfied with anything. Yeah, but I guess it was something I watched all ten episodes. I wanted to know what was going on.

00:21:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, they will make moves or I'm like, oh, that's interesting, But then it's kind of like me.

00:21:39
Speaker 2: Well that's Brian's pointing out some noise. It's the local elementary school.

00:21:43
Speaker 3: Okay. I was going to say it's either like a child riot or.

00:21:46
Speaker 2: Well those happened frequently in this neighborhood too. My car got burned.

00:21:50
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a bunch of burning cars and like little toddlers running away. It's like your neighborhood.

00:21:55
Speaker 2: No, I'm actually very confused by this school's schedule, and maybe I've just been out of elementary too long. But we're deep June at this point, and their kids screaming over there, and then you'll be like mid march silence. Yeah, which maybe it's you know, it's not the weather. It's always recess weather in Los Angeles.

00:22:12
Speaker 3: It's it's testing. Maybe the school.

00:22:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, it's very interesting, but that noise bubbles up occasionally. We get garbage trucks coming through.

00:22:23
Speaker 3: These are That's just part of life.

00:22:26
Speaker 2: You gotta assume there will be a garbage truck coming by it.

00:22:28
Speaker 3: So, yeah, of course it's outdoor work.

00:22:30
Speaker 2: No birds today, surprisingly, oh.

00:22:33
Speaker 3: Me in the beginning of the eco collapse, right.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: Don't say that on this podcast. There are a lot of things on this podcast that have been said that have been later manifested in a horrifying way.

00:22:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, sorry, Then I will probably be very quiet for the rest of the.

00:22:48
Speaker 2: This could spell the spell doom for all of us. Yeah, let's get into another thing we need to talk about. I was so excited to have you here today.

00:22:55
Speaker 3: I'm excited to be here.

00:22:56
Speaker 2: I thought we're going to have a good time. Brian, so funny. What could possibly go wrong?

00:23:01
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:23:02
Speaker 2: So you show up, I walk out the gate and see you passing the house by a mile.

00:23:08
Speaker 3: First of all, I was gonna bail, I'll be honest. I was like, there's no way he's gonna walk out. I'm just gonna leave my car walk home.

00:23:15
Speaker 2: Enough is enough.

00:23:16
Speaker 3: I'm walking home like it already. This is bullshit.

00:23:20
Speaker 2: I find you on the sidewalk, lost and confused. Yeah, holding a large yellow bag.

00:23:28
Speaker 3: Your gift.

00:23:29
Speaker 2: Oh it's my gift. I brought you a gift, Brian. Clearly you saw the emails the podcast is called. I said, no gifts.

00:23:36
Speaker 3: Oh oh no, no, I well one. I can't read, so I just I can read numbers. So that's why I walked past. I was like, I think it's this number. I've gone to a bunch of streets with your number on it. I've been driving all morning trying to find you.

00:23:53
Speaker 2: Your car is out of gas. That's why you were walking.

00:23:57
Speaker 3: Try to find a and I don't have a phone like I was trying to a quarter.

00:24:01
Speaker 2: Okay, so you've been through a lot this morning, and this gift is for me. Well, I feel like you're here, the cars out of gas, you're covered in sweat. Should I just open it here on the podcast?

00:24:12
Speaker 3: Sure? As I said before, let him hear it in a large yellow bag, which is it what I assume is like a tent bag. It's like one of these bags you see it when you go camping. Yeah, is that?

00:24:44
Speaker 2: I mean fair assumption.

00:24:45
Speaker 3: It's a it's a plastic bag with a nylon strap, bright yellow. Right, it says what does say sports? That's very cute teat sports. And it's got a bunch of metal parts in it. So I'm just gonna let you right, let you figure it out.

00:25:01
Speaker 2: Listen to that clunking, I know, speaking of noise on a Lisa. Is that horrifying for you? Okay, I'm opening and you did put a bow on it, which is very Yeah, yes, okay, we're opening. We're unzipping now. Oh, I'm actually very It's a.

00:25:18
Speaker 3: Lot of pipes, it's a lot of it's a lot of rods and pipes with little little metal nubs and holes.

00:25:26
Speaker 2: There's so many rods.

00:25:27
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:25:29
Speaker 2: I like the This is a new sound for the podcast. It's almost melodic.

00:25:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's some more of those.

00:25:36
Speaker 2: I've probably pulled out ten to twelve rods so far.

00:25:39
Speaker 3: And yeah, there's a lot of.

00:25:41
Speaker 2: Shorter rod We're gonna go one by one. You got another short rod.

00:25:45
Speaker 3: So we're up to maybe twelve at this point.

00:25:48
Speaker 2: Let's say we're pulling out another rod, which is got Oh, this is a rod.

00:25:51
Speaker 3: With a that's a specialized rod.

00:25:53
Speaker 2: This is a specialized rod with a nylon in a yeah, nylon core.

00:25:57
Speaker 3: It's got a joint to it.

00:25:59
Speaker 2: I think may be rodless. No, there's one more. This is the smallest rod of all. There we go.

00:26:05
Speaker 3: So we've pulled out a bunch of rods. Hopefully they'll fall over at some point and make that noise that we need. Is that all this in the bag? Bottom? It might be something else.

00:26:16
Speaker 2: This bag is so long. It's so long. There's a bunch of stuff at the bottom here.

00:26:21
Speaker 3: If you're a hunting enthusiast, this this will be great for that.

00:26:25
Speaker 2: Okay, there's the tennis brochure.

00:26:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, so what I've given you is the pipes that go to a portable short scale tennis net or badminton nets. Oh incredible, there is no net.

00:26:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's that. There are so many pipes for pipes for it. It feels like fifty nets.

00:26:47
Speaker 3: But it's just the pipes and the instructions which are substandard. I put this together once and I vowed never to do it again. I was so mad, so mad about it.

00:27:00
Speaker 2: Well, let me put these down. Listener, brace yourself. There may be a noise. Oh car stereo is just exploding.

00:27:14
Speaker 3: All over the all the kids over there like, oh.

00:27:16
Speaker 2: Right, I hear small tennis so good. Okay, So you bought this initially with a net and put it together, Yeah, what was the original intent for this?

00:27:25
Speaker 3: The original intent is I love badminton.

00:27:27
Speaker 2: I'm so glad to hear you say that.

00:27:29
Speaker 3: I love it, and I've always been very obsessed with it, and I got really into it when I was I was living in New York. I went and went down south stayed with a friend of mine because at the time I was a photographer, so I was working on a paper for the summer, and we just started playing badminton in his yard every day afterwards, and we got obsessed with it, went back to New York, got some other friends. We would go out to a field and set up like the shitty net and stuff. Right, So it was always I never got to sort of do it like professionally. So I was like, I'm going to invest in like a net and like, get my friends, We're gonna make it a regular thing. And then I just this is so frustrating.

00:28:09
Speaker 2: And you were able to successfully get it together at one point.

00:28:12
Speaker 3: One time, and it took me an hour and a half to build and we played for like thirty minutes because we ran out of time.

00:28:18
Speaker 2: Wait where were you?

00:28:19
Speaker 3: We were in Alesion Park.

00:28:21
Speaker 2: Okay, And so you basically didn't get to play badminton, not much. You were just stressed and yeah, yeah.

00:28:29
Speaker 3: And just frustrated. And I knew I had to take it apart again and fear, and I did so much research. I did so much like vetting, and people were so descriptive. And then the other thing regarding the net. The net like was outside for a little bit, within I don't know, like two weeks of being outside, it just like brittle. It just was plastic. So it just like fell apart. So I didn't even so the net didn't even last.

00:28:52
Speaker 2: From sugar or something.

00:28:53
Speaker 3: But anyone who's listening who lives in the Los Angeles area in sort of like the east Side the gla Inn dale Y has drop in badminton.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: Oh you're kidding, A dedicated, dedicated class.

00:29:05
Speaker 3: But you stop to pay a monthly fee. Oh specially charging over there. I think it's like seventy five bucks a months.

00:29:11
Speaker 2: It's a lot. It's a lot. I know that's a considerable Have you been there?

00:29:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, I joined for two years.

00:29:17
Speaker 2: Okay, And are you good at badminton?

00:29:18
Speaker 3: I'm pretty good.

00:29:20
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm not.

00:29:20
Speaker 3: I've never been. I've successfully talked myself out of anything athletic my whole life, right, right, my self esteem has always been low in that department. And then I found out I was like, oh, I'm actually good at sports. I just never gave myself the chance.

00:29:34
Speaker 2: Right. It is very satisfying and bed less. The pronunciation of badminton is so baffling. Yeah, I mean it's really a hard word to you want you're tempted to do the N and the T the bad minton badminton. Yeah, but badminton, badminton, badminton, badminton, badminton.

00:29:54
Speaker 3: That's like the southern versions of badminton.

00:29:56
Speaker 2: Badminton bad man. The sport itself is so non threatening. It was the only one I was able to play in high school. Yeah, because I didn't have like a hard object flying at me. Yeah, I had this dainty little thing flying through the air.

00:30:06
Speaker 3: Have you played with a professional birdie though?

00:30:09
Speaker 1: No?

00:30:09
Speaker 3: With the feathered birdie, what did they.

00:30:12
Speaker 2: I've never even seen one.

00:30:13
Speaker 3: Oh God, bridgerd come on. If they are beautiful. They're like they have a substantial white nose to them and then they literally have goose feathers.

00:30:22
Speaker 2: Oh and this is why they're called a birdie.

00:30:24
Speaker 3: Yeah and so, and they can do some damage.

00:30:28
Speaker 2: What is the front thing made of is it's like rubber.

00:30:30
Speaker 3: It's like a little rubber. It's like a spongy rubber thing.

00:30:33
Speaker 2: I hate hearing this because I feel so safe when I'm playing badminton.

00:30:37
Speaker 3: I mean, you're still safe, it's just the you know, the the damage is like ah versus like oh okay.

00:30:45
Speaker 2: But it's small enough to hit the eye and that concerns me.

00:30:47
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

00:30:48
Speaker 2: With you know, a basketball, a football.

00:30:53
Speaker 3: You got a nerd up. You gotta wear goggles, do you wear goggles. I have a class this one.

00:30:58
Speaker 2: Do you put on like a uniform to play badminton or you're just in jeans and a shirt shorts jeans like.

00:31:07
Speaker 3: But I was also I was playing against like sixty five year olds who were amazing who they also were the amazing to the point where they just it's about the better you are, the less you have to move.

00:31:19
Speaker 2: Oh, you just kind of like and you have that quiet confidence you just kind of.

00:31:23
Speaker 3: Lean over and get out exactly where you want and stuff. And then there were these there was some like forty something fifty something dudes who were the hardcore guys, and everyone's a nerd. Like they're all like, well, I've just admitted to liking it, So it doesn't bode well for the smith. You know, you found out what everybody did, Like they worked in it or they like, you know, they were retired game designers or whatever. They one was an inventor not really, but yeah, everybody nobody was sort of like, yeah, I used to work for the military. I got into badminton.

00:31:55
Speaker 2: I used to drive tanks. Yeah. I feel like badminton is the sport for people with an older brother who hit them.

00:32:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, essentially. Yeah, yeah, not that well.

00:32:05
Speaker 2: I guess my brother, older brother kind of did hit me. Not in you know, not in a call services way, right, but in a way of being an older brother just dominance dominant.

00:32:15
Speaker 3: Yes, that's just like a hierarchy thing.

00:32:17
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I deserved it.

00:32:18
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I get that off vibe.

00:32:22
Speaker 2: People should be punching me more often.

00:32:24
Speaker 3: You're like, my, I have this new dog, Tony that was at my ex wife's house and she's like, I can't take them in my new place. We take him. I was like, eh, Tony's kind of a he's kind of a lot. And I've discovered that everyone hates Tony. Oh no, like every living creature initially kind of hates him. He's great, he's so sweet and he's so loving, but like animals universally just are like fucking pussy. They just hate him. He's just like he is just immediate, like new kid at school.

00:32:53
Speaker 2: What kind of dog is he?

00:32:55
Speaker 3: He He's I don't know.

00:32:58
Speaker 2: This poor animal doesn't have a single person in this life.

00:33:01
Speaker 3: He says, he's okay, so he's probably like he's part poodle, but he has that kind of wire hair. Okay, you know, not.

00:33:09
Speaker 2: A pleasant creature.

00:33:10
Speaker 3: He's cute, and then he's like, oh my god, like I had a repair guy come by. He is like, what happens to your dog? What is wrong with his hair? I think nothing happened, that's just he was just born that way. He's like, but he's okay.

00:33:23
Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, he's okay. Well, could possibly be happening in the dog's hair that it's drawing concern like that.

00:33:28
Speaker 3: He just kind of looks like he is going through chemo. Oh, or he just got electrocuted.

00:33:35
Speaker 2: He's like a sickly dog.

00:33:37
Speaker 3: He's sickly and he's not He's like he's almost like a supermodel in real life, you know, you seem super models, like, oh my god, he looks so weird, and then you take a picture.

00:33:44
Speaker 2: Of him You're like, wow, incredible, like another species.

00:33:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, he has perfect angles and then he has terrible, terrible angles as well.

00:33:53
Speaker 2: Oh I feel terrible for this dog.

00:33:55
Speaker 3: No, he's great. He's very very happy. Now you're taking care of him. I'm taking care of him. But he is literally harassed by my sixteen year old dog. He's wearing a diaper.

00:34:03
Speaker 2: Does he get snappy or is he like does he just fall away.

00:34:09
Speaker 3: Anything he gets. Okay, so we're on the couch, my phone will get a text message and he jumps off the couch in fear because he feels like it's an earthquake.

00:34:20
Speaker 2: Get this dog of badminton racket. They're called a racket. Yeah, you call it a racket in badminton? Yeah, what else would we call it? Paddle?

00:34:29
Speaker 3: A long paddle.

00:34:31
Speaker 2: Do you own your own racket?

00:34:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, axt ax, that's a pretty good one.

00:34:37
Speaker 2: That's the brand. Yeah yo n I X.

00:34:40
Speaker 3: Yo n E x oh on x.

00:34:43
Speaker 2: Was it like a whole deal of like researching or did you just reach for the nearest racket?

00:34:49
Speaker 3: To be honest, they were wedding gifts. A set of four professional rackets.

00:34:54
Speaker 2: That's a good wedding gift.

00:34:55
Speaker 3: It was very good because it was my buddy who got it. I looped him into it.

00:34:59
Speaker 2: Oh oh okay, But he didn't give you the net, so we kind of created a problem.

00:35:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.

00:35:04
Speaker 2: Ultimately not a good wedding gift. Or he should have coordinated with another friend to get the net.

00:35:09
Speaker 3: He should have bought me a membership to like a badminton club, or he should.

00:35:12
Speaker 2: Have bought you an entire gym something like this part of my home.

00:35:16
Speaker 3: Like when I was walking up here, I was eyeing your backyard and I was like, well, it's a little too small, too small for badminton, but it's nice and flat. So I'm always I'm always like searching.

00:35:27
Speaker 2: For I have a decent sized lawn for badminton. That's kind of disappointing.

00:35:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, you don't, it's not yours is good for no sport, no sports. I guess like you can do some tumbling here.

00:35:40
Speaker 2: I do a lot of backflips, I'm doing aerials. I'm just I don't think summersaults should should be allowed to be in the same category as flips and back handsprings. No, almost anyone can do a summersault.

00:35:54
Speaker 3: You'd be surprised.

00:35:55
Speaker 2: It's so clunky. Yeah, it's not graceful like every other one of those moves.

00:36:00
Speaker 3: No, you know, because it's like it's you can't jump into it. I mean, if you could do a fast summersault, that's cool, but it's scary.

00:36:08
Speaker 2: That looks scary.

00:36:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, but most people are like here, I go, okay. It's very much like Tony how he lives.

00:36:16
Speaker 2: I don't think I could do a summersault. At this point. Seriously, I don't think I feel like I would. My whole body would just fling against the ground in a way that would not feel good.

00:36:25
Speaker 3: You don't understand how to curl anymore. No, I don't think that to curl.

00:36:28
Speaker 2: Up, I would like curl and then immediately just snap back into this face plant.

00:36:34
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you could do a summersault? I do, Actually, I think I do yoga, and I think that makes sense. But I don't think I would recover well from it or look great doing it.

00:36:46
Speaker 2: No one looks good doing a summersault. Yeah, it's a thing for children.

00:36:49
Speaker 3: I did an improv show recently and ended up in an extremely physical scene, and my girlfriend's at the show and she was like, I was genuinely like, I was worried, You're going to throw your back out? What were you doing? We were just I was showing my daughter how our family has sex. So there's a lot of very gymnastic, violent move silent like sort of down like push like push ups. They turned into leg kicks that turned into flips and stuff.

00:37:22
Speaker 2: That sounds extremely dangerous. It was very stangeous to hurt yourself in front of a live audience. Oh my god, nothing more humiliar. Yeah, but then you get a lot of pity very quickly.

00:37:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's a bummer. It's hard to recover everyone. We'll get them offstage.

00:37:35
Speaker 2: Talking about it for the rest of their lives.

00:37:37
Speaker 3: First scene too, you've removed from.

00:37:39
Speaker 2: The community, A terrible choice. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, none of the But maybe I could take an adult gymnastics classes. People do that now. I'm seeing a lot of people on Instagram. Look, I'm proud of myself as an adult. I'm doing gymnastic.

00:37:52
Speaker 3: Did you do it as a kid?

00:37:53
Speaker 1: No?

00:37:54
Speaker 3: Did you? That's what I'm saying, Like I I in I think like sixth grade. I went to my parents like I think I want to learn to play soccer, and they're like, okay, And at that point everybody had been doing it. So I bailed on that. I took like one karate class at the y Okay. Yeah. I was the person who eventually, like for sports, I did across country and track. So no hand eye coordination.

00:38:21
Speaker 2: It's just a faster version of what you do every day, just.

00:38:23
Speaker 3: Running for your life.

00:38:25
Speaker 2: Do you have siblings. I do have a sister, and was she athletic at all? No?

00:38:31
Speaker 3: She did volleyball maybe.

00:38:34
Speaker 2: Okay, that scares me to death. That's probably the scariest sport for me. Yeah, that broken, Yeah, flying from the ceiling essentially. Yeah, I don't think I could handle it.

00:38:43
Speaker 3: I mean I was like, it was insane to me. The idea of like baseball, Oh that for me. Do you see? This thing is hard rock hard, and we're throwing it as hard as we can each other and hitting it at each other, and it's going high in the air and then catching like holding up, like you have to put your.

00:39:01
Speaker 2: Body in its direction to catch it.

00:39:03
Speaker 3: I never I caught everything with like eyes down, glove up.

00:39:07
Speaker 2: It's surprising to me there aren't more baseball related injuries, our deaths. Yeah, there should be more deaths. Every season should bring one death.

00:39:16
Speaker 3: I wonder what in the early days before they got the hard helmets.

00:39:20
Speaker 2: And it's so interesting. A lot of crushed skulls.

00:39:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, there had to be a lot of like to get one to the to the temple.

00:39:27
Speaker 2: Oh good lord, I can't imagine or directly to the eye.

00:39:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, we should go through the archives and see how many like baseball pictures of guys getting taken away on stretchers and just these graphic photos.

00:39:39
Speaker 2: I believe that would happen. Yeah, I will never hit a baseball. I've never hit one before, and I have no reason to hit one.

00:39:44
Speaker 3: Now, have you tried in earnest? Like did you are like I'm gonna do it?

00:39:48
Speaker 2: You know? I was like pushed into it in elementary and middle school, like you have to try, and then there's a horrifying embarrassment. Everyone's looking at you and you're not capable. You're scared of the ball flying at you. You don't know how to hold the bat. You're holding it like a fool. Everyone else already knows how to hold the bat. Yeah, it really sets you up for embarrassment in a way that like in basketball you can kind of hide.

00:40:10
Speaker 3: Nope, not me. You couldn't hide in basketball. Well I could kind of. But then I like, as an actor, I really do wish I had some basic sports skills, because there have been like three or four times they were like, Okay, so you're gonna be playing basketball in this scene, I'm like, you gotta get a double because I can't do it. I can't. You'll throw the ball to me. I will just it'll deflate.

00:40:34
Speaker 2: Everyone will know, everyone will totally know. Can you dribble a basketball?

00:40:38
Speaker 3: Barely?

00:40:39
Speaker 2: Okay, this is making me feel slightly better about myself. I think I can do that.

00:40:43
Speaker 3: I can, I mean I can. I can stand in one place and do it, But I can't dribble and run. I can't shooting. I'm okay at okay weirdly.

00:40:52
Speaker 2: So that's half of the well like percent of the battle.

00:40:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I was, if I if they could post me near the the is it called them the goal the hole, yeah, the point hole, and then they gave me the ball and I could shoot. I would do okay, But it's the moving up and down the field not great.

00:41:13
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I'm able to basically just not do anything and run around, and everyone just doesn't trust me with the ball, so it's just like, let him run.

00:41:22
Speaker 3: So that's what I did. I mean, so you did that in gym class where you just like kind of run on the side.

00:41:26
Speaker 2: And yeah, just bouncing around. Football is kind of the same thing where people get to do their own thing. But baseball, you're on center stage. Everyone's waiting for you to sing a solo. It's horrible. Yeah, not for me, and you never know when the solo is gonna come or how fast? Like everybody's just like, all right, you're all soloist, but you don't know when get ready?

00:41:47
Speaker 3: Terrible sport and here comes a conductor.

00:41:50
Speaker 2: Do you like to watch baseball? No?

00:41:52
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't know.

00:41:53
Speaker 2: I like to eat a hot dog.

00:41:55
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I've got when I've gone to the big events, like and live to a live concert, baseball concert. I like those.

00:42:05
Speaker 2: But it's more like getting to chat with friends and there's something going on. Yeah, it's not like a basketball game where you kind of have to focus.

00:42:12
Speaker 3: Have you ever gone to a hockey game?

00:42:14
Speaker 2: No?

00:42:14
Speaker 3: Of you I have?

00:42:15
Speaker 2: Is that fun to watch or scary?

00:42:17
Speaker 3: It's confusing?

00:42:18
Speaker 2: Oh, it's confusing.

00:42:19
Speaker 3: It's confusing, and it's something's always happening. It's constantly. It's hard to follow the thing. And I didn't understand that there was that fighting was allowed.

00:42:28
Speaker 2: Is it actually allowed?

00:42:29
Speaker 3: It is?

00:42:30
Speaker 2: Why is that a part of the game.

00:42:32
Speaker 3: I don't know. But it is such a like it is such an agreed upon barbaric element where you're like, yeah, I mean these guys will fight each other. Because I thought I was like, oh my god, they're fighting that. My friend's like, yeah, that's he checked him, so he gets to check him back, and then he's gonna end up in the box.

00:42:47
Speaker 2: It's like why that's how are they not constantly fighting? I don't know, it should just start with fighting.

00:42:53
Speaker 3: It just I don't know. It's really crazy.

00:42:55
Speaker 2: And what ends the fight?

00:42:57
Speaker 4: Do you have?

00:42:58
Speaker 2: Is there any rule where they're like okay, now we I think.

00:43:00
Speaker 3: Yes, I think it's just a referee, like it's in there. Actually stop.

00:43:05
Speaker 2: Seen enough.

00:43:07
Speaker 3: It's such a it's it's it was so confusing.

00:43:09
Speaker 2: What a bizarre sport. I think I wouldn't mind watching that once.

00:43:13
Speaker 3: It feels like a sport that was started by prison wardens in like you know, Maine.

00:43:21
Speaker 2: Prison wardens with a lot of spare ice skates.

00:43:23
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just like I give them something. I mean, they might cut us with it, but maybe if they enjoy it enough, they can go do it.

00:43:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a pretty it's like a weirdly brutal but it looked like everything you're wearing looks fairly modern or almost like yeah, you could wear a space but it feels like something that was invented by Vikings or something.

00:43:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's very weird.

00:43:42
Speaker 2: I can't picture when that could have possibly been invented.

00:43:45
Speaker 3: Did you ever do soccer?

00:43:47
Speaker 2: Didn't do soccer, which is one sport that I feel like, had my parents put me in it, I would have at least been a D plus.

00:43:53
Speaker 3: I think I would have been I think I would have been a be minus. Maybe I think I would have been good. Actually, I just never And because when I that was one like there's a certain point in gym class, I was like, all right, I'm gonna try today, and I was like, oh my god, I can do this. I sort of do that. I couldn't do fancy stuff, but sure we.

00:44:10
Speaker 2: Could kick the ball and I would kick it, run up and down, down, And I felt like most of the kids in my school, at least in my school, where the soccer players were good eggs, they were like pretty well adjusted. They weren't as jockey as the other sports.

00:44:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, ours was a mixed bag. Oh okay, that's pretty right.

00:44:28
Speaker 2: Well, then maybe I got lucky.

00:44:29
Speaker 3: There was Tate Taylor. Taylor was real, and then ute and then there's that guy who's at the O'Connor Connor who's like crazy pigeon toad. He was like this amazing athlete.

00:44:45
Speaker 2: Oh good for him, for overcoming that man he had, I mean crazy, but he had a bad attitude. Yeah, he was just was like he was just rich and beautiful and athletic. Right, and Connor is such a soccer name.

00:44:56
Speaker 3: Oh my god, such a Southern name too, Taylor her.

00:45:00
Speaker 2: Andson speaking of North Carolina and Charlotte. I visited there a few years ago, and I don't want to say anything bad about the city, but.

00:45:07
Speaker 3: It was can't I know when I love lives there anymore.

00:45:10
Speaker 2: It's a very sterile place, would you say.

00:45:12
Speaker 3: That it is? And it was. It was a in the probably early nineties. It became a banking epicenter of the East coast. Right, they were sort of like bridging the financial gap between Atlanta and New York or something, and it really like got super sanitized.

00:45:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was an odd experience.

00:45:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like one of those there's a lot. That's the thing I kind of like about southern cities is like, I feel like you can go to a town it's like, wow, there's nothing here, and you have to dig a little bit, you know that one you had to dig?

00:45:46
Speaker 2: I mean I dug and I found the Billy Graham Library. Which have you been there? No, everybody's got to go to this thing. It's really wild. They've got a singing cow, They've got i mean, some very scary thing. You get to visit his grave.

00:46:01
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:46:02
Speaker 2: The uber driver taking you there.

00:46:03
Speaker 3: Was confused, why were you in the city.

00:46:05
Speaker 2: Like, my boyfriend was on tour with with Ley Miz and so I went to see him there. I was trying to entertain myself during the day, and it was either Billy Graham or the NASCAR Museum and we'll do the insane Christian stuff and fascinating.

00:46:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:46:20
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say plan a trip around it. No, but if you're in Charlotte, I mean you want to see an animatronic cow sing about Jesus or something, it's worth a look. And I think it's free.

00:46:32
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I don't have my my I mean my family is like two three generations there and everyone's passed away. But my my house was like a mile from where my grandmother's house was, and then her house was it was across the street from where her great grandmother's general store used to be. Oh wow, yeah, and so and then the how the down at the bottom of our street was the field that used to be the old dairy field where my dad, my grandfather used to work at the dairy farm and stuff. So that I like that, like that, that kind of like a legacy and continuity and stuff.

00:47:11
Speaker 2: Be able to trace your roots back to a general store. I know what a feeling. Yeah, that's very exciting.

00:47:17
Speaker 3: It's not there anymore.

00:47:18
Speaker 2: We've got to have more general stores.

00:47:19
Speaker 3: I don't know.

00:47:20
Speaker 2: I think it's time to play a game. Oh all right, we're gonna play a game called Gift Master. I need a number between one and ten from you.

00:47:27
Speaker 3: Okay, do I give it to you now? Yes? Seven? Okay.

00:47:29
Speaker 2: I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces. So right now you can promote, recommend, do whatever you want with the microphone. I'll be right back.

00:47:37
Speaker 3: So I'm curious if he's pitched this game, because I could hook him up with a guy. Now he's out of it. Now he might be and he does board games. Could you sell a podcast game? Maybe you could? Well know I've lost interest. I might take off just one more. I guess I'll try to build this net. Just have the pipes. Those not gonna nothing's gonna hold it up.

00:48:04
Speaker 2: Okay, what a horrible use of the time. Look up Brian online or something. Google his name, find him on social media.

00:48:12
Speaker 3: That padded that pretty well.

00:48:17
Speaker 2: I could barely hear you, so god knows.

00:48:18
Speaker 3: Okay, when you listen back, you're gonna be horrified.

00:48:21
Speaker 2: Give us some gross stuff that will be edited out. This is called gift Master. I'm gonna name three celebrities, three gifts things you can give away. You're going to tell me which of these gifts you'll give, which of the people and why? Does that make perfect sense?

00:48:38
Speaker 3: I hope I know the celebrities.

00:48:40
Speaker 2: I think you'll know the celebrities. There's one in here that I barely I can, like picture a silhouette and the hair color probably okay. Oh, and I should tell the listener you can buy this game on the internet. Google the podcast. I don't know where it is.

00:48:52
Speaker 3: Oh you can't. Okay. Then when back, I was gonna I was going to connect you with my my ex brother in law.

00:48:59
Speaker 2: You're fishing the game. But now get together. Ye yeah, I'm one step ahead of him. I've already got his retirement of failure. Okay. So Jeff Bezos, oh, I haven't told you these yet. By the gifts, anything.

00:49:12
Speaker 3: I can give Jeff Bezos to somebody. I would love to give him to Elon.

00:49:16
Speaker 2: Musk, do you know what and watch him eat each other. No, the three celebrities are Jeff Bezos, Ashley Tisdale. This is the one that I'm I'm like, I think this is a blonde celebrity. Yeah, and we'll be Goldberg. Okay, so you can you know at least two of those people good. And I know the name Ashley Tisdale's I would pronounced it could be Ashley Tisdall.

00:49:38
Speaker 3: She's a major talent, a major player.

00:49:42
Speaker 2: Ashley is never going to come on this podcast. Ashley, I'm begging forgive me. Okay, those are the celebrities. These are the gifts you'll be giving. Number one is an experience, a night they'll never forget. It's a nice experience to give you.

00:49:54
Speaker 3: Wait, that's the gift.

00:49:55
Speaker 2: Yes, that's the gift you'll be giving them.

00:49:56
Speaker 3: That could go, That could be anything. That could be that you're gonna get kidnap up. You're gonna be drowned for a little bit, but just to the point of death. So okay, so that's of my choosing.

00:50:07
Speaker 2: Yes, that is absolutely go crazy. This is a listener suggestion somebody named Savannah wrote in and suggested beans loose or wet are loose beans like dry beans?

00:50:18
Speaker 3: I assume, so when I was thinking it's not coffee beans like I guess that's.

00:50:21
Speaker 2: Any type of bean you want.

00:50:23
Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, there's a lot of room to play here. And then number three is night vision that you are giving the person the ability to have night vision.

00:50:32
Speaker 2: Again, we know there's a product called night vision, a piece of technology you could okay, but there's also a supernatural skill you could have. So it's really up to you.

00:50:41
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna go with the technology, which I just think is probably like nineteen ninety nine Amazon glasses from the you know, made in Jena that sort of just have like lights on them.

00:50:53
Speaker 2: Okay, So what will you be giving to who and why?

00:50:57
Speaker 3: Well, Jeff Bezos, I'm gonna give the night to remember, okay, because I'm going to plan the night and it's going to be sadistic, and hopefully he will learn that billionaires need to sort of like pitch in a little bit.

00:51:12
Speaker 2: I almost feel like he's probably reached the level of numbness of a billionaire that he would love that.

00:51:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, he probably would. I mean it would be like he's like, oh I love the movie the game is it like that? I want more of that in my life.

00:51:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that could could be a perfect gift. Yeah, and it allows you a little satisfaction. Yeah, hopefully leave him.

00:51:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I was going to book him on this submersible event, but that company is no longer.

00:51:38
Speaker 2: You're starting your own submersial company and you don't need a life pretty easy, you need a video game control and.

00:51:43
Speaker 3: Like, oh god, so fascinating.

00:51:45
Speaker 2: Yes, a bag of wet beans okay, wet Yeah, bag of wet beans to whoodp be Goldberg because I think she would think that is maybe funny. I bet you would be behind that.

00:51:58
Speaker 3: Yeah.

00:51:58
Speaker 2: And also it's like a handy snap and I.

00:52:00
Speaker 3: Think it would be literally like a can't like a Jumbo from Costco, like big baked beans poured into a paper bag and then hand it over as it's like sopping and.

00:52:11
Speaker 2: Dripping, the bag is disintegrated totally.

00:52:14
Speaker 3: She has like she has like thirty seconds to do something else quickly, and then the night Vision just gonna give to Ashley because maybe she can wear them on stage if she goes on stage. We don't really know.

00:52:28
Speaker 2: At least does actually do stage work. Do you have any idea?

00:52:31
Speaker 4: I mean, I know her from her incredible work on High School Musical.

00:52:35
Speaker 2: So interesting.

00:52:36
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I was gonna I was gonna say she was like a Nickelodeon.

00:52:40
Speaker 2: I was ficturing somebody very blonde, and that's correct.

00:52:43
Speaker 3: Yes, but she she's like dirty blonde, and then she super blonded herself.

00:52:48
Speaker 2: Right, I'm assuming platinum.

00:52:50
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:52:51
Speaker 3: Does she has her sister? I feel like Harry, I feel like they're Yeah, Sherry, Marcyale, Marcie distals a very There's got to be at least one other sean.

00:53:02
Speaker 4: Jenniferdale, and.

00:53:04
Speaker 2: Boost her.

00:53:05
Speaker 3: She made a go.

00:53:06
Speaker 4: Of it, says an American actress and singer was in bring it on, in it to win it.

00:53:12
Speaker 2: Okay, everybody put her name into IMDb. Let's get her star rating out. Yeah, make her her the game next time. Yeah, what was her name? Jennifer Tisdale? J doesn't sound like as much fun, but that.

00:53:24
Speaker 3: One I'm just going to send to her like with no no return address, no information.

00:53:31
Speaker 2: That's a scary gift to get any out. It's like, be prepared for what's coming for you.

00:53:35
Speaker 3: Good night. I'm just gonna a note there says good night sweet.

00:53:40
Speaker 2: Sweeteans perfectly played.

00:53:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks, thoughtful, thoughtful are not going to appreciate not at all.

00:53:48
Speaker 2: There's nothing scary about anything there, and whoop, he walks away with a giant bag.

00:53:52
Speaker 3: Of being probably never gotten it. No, I mean, I think I mean that for people like that, like you said, it's like for them to get anything that haven't gotten before, it probably like super thrilling.

00:54:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, I really feel like getting uh the ultra wealthy gifts. You just have to inconvenience them. That's the gift. The only thing they don't get anymore.

00:54:10
Speaker 3: Well, it's probably and I bet they get off on something that is super thrifty. You know.

00:54:14
Speaker 2: I feel like I haven't seen one of these in years since I was drinking out of the gutter.

00:54:19
Speaker 3: Kind of like coupons. You just give them some coupons, they get really excited.

00:54:24
Speaker 2: I've met rich people give each other coupons all the time as a gag gift. How poor?

00:54:29
Speaker 3: I feel like billionaires are inherently like what's the what is the term? If you're really thrifty, if you're really like job.

00:54:37
Speaker 2: Frugal, frugal, frugal, I think that's one of the things you have to be as a boy scout. I should have remembered that nine they're like nine qualities or something. And frugal as.

00:54:48
Speaker 3: Well, frugality, judgmental, just a bunch of horrible.

00:54:53
Speaker 2: Well, but there's a difference and cheapness. Frugal yea, like smart about using money. Yeah, and then there's cheapness cheapnesses which is you just let it. You know, you don't spend money on anything, just like money hoarding, money hoarding.

00:55:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, it speaks to childhood trauma probably, yeah. Yeah, and we're talking about me here, essentially absolutely terrified to spend five. That is why you made a podcast where you get free things.

00:55:21
Speaker 2: I'm selling these things, these pipes. I mean I could sell them individually together, I could make a piece of art. I will earn thousands off of it.

00:55:28
Speaker 3: I was about to put this on like next door and say who wants a net thing? And I would have just given them a bag of pipes because I didn't know. I forgot that the net wasn't in there until you start pulling things out, and I was like, oh right, the net fell apart.

00:55:41
Speaker 2: And then you would have seen on what's the other app the probably on next dooor somebody getting beaten with money. These someone attacked with pipe. Yeah, so you've probably brought them to the safest place they could possibly be.

00:55:52
Speaker 3: Actually, what I'd like you to do is see how long because there are a bunch of I think you can just make it one really long pipe of this because they all they all have like a hole that went in and then like the little clicky thing of the.

00:56:04
Speaker 2: I'm absolutely going to do that, and I'm going to reach for something.

00:56:07
Speaker 3: Just erect in your backyard. A sculpture. He mean sculpture.

00:56:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna I'll make good use of those. It's a perfect gift.

00:56:15
Speaker 3: Love it.

00:56:15
Speaker 2: This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I Said No Emails. People write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Nobody asked them to. They're sending emails. They have problems. The listeners have situations in their lives. I'm not proud of the listener base. Most of these people. Their lives are just dirt at this point. They're you know, they're begging for answers, and so I try to.

00:56:36
Speaker 3: Help with great sympathies with you know, I have.

00:56:42
Speaker 2: A big heart and I you know, I try to spread for these garbage people.

00:56:47
Speaker 3: Yeah, these emotional lepers that you like, deemed to walk amongst uh.

00:56:51
Speaker 2: So they write in with the problems. Will you help me answer a question?

00:56:54
Speaker 3: Absolutely not.

00:56:56
Speaker 2: Brian's walking away again.

00:56:58
Speaker 3: I am pissed off.

00:57:01
Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm just assuming here you're gonna help me. Yeah, Beth has written and oh, I'm answering this backwards. That's an interesting thing for me to do. Anally's answering. I'm out of my mind. I'm reading the email backwards. Let's read it forwards. Hello, Bridger and guest. My husband's birthday is coming up and I have absolutely no idea what to get him.

00:57:18
Speaker 3: Should I divorce him? Yes?

00:57:21
Speaker 2: Yes, get out of there. He is turning fifty nine and his interests are working out, cleaning mostly just the kitchen, household floors and his car. Feel a little bit of resentment there, and drinking good bourbon and wine. We've been married over twenty three years, and I feel like it's all been done before as far as gift giving goes.

00:57:41
Speaker 3: He sounds depressed. If his hobbies are working out, cleaning, and drinking, probably all at once, just like that's the cycle of the day.

00:57:51
Speaker 2: He gets drunk, puts on some ankle weights and mops.

00:57:53
Speaker 3: The manically, like cleans the like hoses down the driveway, and drinks.

00:57:59
Speaker 2: But do you have any suggestions for me? Warm regards, And we already know it's Beth. Yes, Beth is in a marriage that has been on the rocks for years. She resents this guy for only doing some of the stuff around the house's She.

00:58:13
Speaker 3: Didn't even say, like he works out like that could be anything like.

00:58:17
Speaker 2: Right, we have to assume that he is just built to hell, you know, he's this is a guy that's on stage flexing what is that called bodybuilding? Bodybuilder competitive bodybuilding compotity, building compodity. He's drunk on stage. Yes, so tan. So she just needs a gift idea for her She needs a gift idea, and she's tired of thinking about him. So she's offloaded the idea on a podcast. Twenty three years. So they've been giving each other things, you know, bourbon and wine. It's hard to say, what do you do when your interests are cleaning clean?

00:58:56
Speaker 3: I know, I was like I feel like, I mean, I fell asleep at that one and then I woke myself back up to find out what the last one was.

00:59:04
Speaker 2: I feel like one thing she could give him as she goes missing for a few days, there's some excitement.

00:59:09
Speaker 3: There's some excitement. I was gonna say, stage a mess, like, oh interesting, ruin the house. Just I don't know if you know. She just like she can go to the sort of like poopy route, or she can just do a bloodstained thing, or you know, a red wine party on the white rug. But like, really give him that.

00:59:31
Speaker 2: Cleaning the animals everywhere?

00:59:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I just put it. Do a Craigslist ad, just say like wild party this address. Let whoever shows up go crazy, and then he has a clean up.

00:59:45
Speaker 2: Or speaking of craigslist, free dogcare, free dog care, Yeah, she offers free dog care for a week. She sends him on vacation. So that's part of the treat. She's like, go away for the weekend, treat yourself to some working outs elsewhere. Well, he's away, she offers free dog care. People are bringing their dogs. The dogs are just messing up the house in every direction.

01:00:07
Speaker 3: How about free elderly dog care.

01:00:09
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, that's I mean, that'll get the job done very fast.

01:00:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you could just put the asterisk incontinence, welcome, you know, leakage and courage.

01:00:18
Speaker 2: Encourage, and then he comes back to this absolute mess and Beth can hit the road. Yeah, she says, I want out enjoy the house. You're gonna love the little project I left you. I think we've answered that question perfectly.

01:00:33
Speaker 3: Feel like he's going to kick it up a notch though for them. You think that's going to bring a new spark, a whole new spark. Really, she doesn't know. He doesn't know what she's going to range, but he knows he's going to.

01:00:42
Speaker 2: Get messy, and there are going to be animals involved.

01:00:46
Speaker 3: So messy.

01:00:48
Speaker 2: Well, then Beth is probably gonna be writing in twenty three years from now with another question. Yeah, because she'll still be in this rock solid marriage.

01:00:55
Speaker 3: And so he's fifty nine, that'll make him eighty two two, and his hobbies will be still drinking.

01:01:03
Speaker 2: He's gonna be fitter than ever.

01:01:04
Speaker 3: No, he's gonna be watching workout videos and then he likes to he likes to buff his wheelchair.

01:01:13
Speaker 2: Well, we'll have to. We've got twenty three years to think about us next to you. Yeah, Beth, I'm so glad that she wrote in.

01:01:20
Speaker 3: It's very very trusting her.

01:01:22
Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, hopefully she just moves forward with that plan. Otherwise I don't know what to tell her because she's obviously reached her last resort. I'm deleting the email goodbye, Beth.

01:01:31
Speaker 3: It is funny the and I'm not ashamed of At first, I had some judgment of it when I'm like, you know what, my friend put it in the terms like why leave cheddar on the table? But I'm doing cameos now.

01:01:40
Speaker 2: Oh, you're doing see this is what you need to promote.

01:01:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I am on cameos and I actually really enjoy it for the most part. Right, there have been some insane ones.

01:01:51
Speaker 2: What have like what have been the worst ones You've had to do?

01:01:54
Speaker 3: The most challenging ones have been someone who was she had gotten out of rehab for heroin addiction, relapsed, was having a really hard time, and I was to give them a pep talk. Oh they and I think there might have been some like some suicidal attempts, Like it was loaded.

01:02:15
Speaker 2: There was a lot going on, and they're putting that weight on you.

01:02:17
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, And they had been and they had done a lot of like step work through like alcoholics anonymous and stuff and in a so, yeah, I did it, And I do voices for Bob's Burger's right, so I do a character on there. So I just spoke to them in that voice but got really like dark, and they said it was perfect. But it was like it was like it was writing the line where they would have been like, oh my god, what the hell did you just do? But then there's another one that I'd rejected with there, like somebody was being had cheated on his girlfriend, what was just trying to get her back? Would I do something funny to get her back? And I just said, like want, No, I don't want any part of this. Man.

01:03:03
Speaker 2: That is such a crazy thing to turn to. What is that?

01:03:06
Speaker 3: But the thing I was going to say to maybe think of is like people when they say, hey, will you wish so and so a birthday? Or will you give them a pep talk? They give like very minimal information, and so they're just like, just talk to the strangers.

01:03:18
Speaker 2: Just invent things.

01:03:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, just speculate on what you think they're going through and what you should say to them.

01:03:23
Speaker 2: It feels like it's only going to make the situation worse, I know.

01:03:25
Speaker 3: So like with this you're like, Okay, well this is the summation of your husband. So we have three elements that are like the totality of who he is and what makes him happy?

01:03:34
Speaker 2: Right, Wow, Well that's fascinating.

01:03:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, have you do.

01:03:38
Speaker 2: I've never done it. I've thought it scares me in that way of like what if I I think I would immediately be like, oh, I don't want to say that. Yeah, I don't want to talk to you about that.

01:03:48
Speaker 3: It's very weird. It's it definitely ventures into the uncomfortable. Like I like performing, but I don't like performing as myself sometimes right, or I don't like I don't like presenting myself. I was like, you know me from this, because I feel like that's like a shoe salesman be like, hey, you know me from Chileng shoes.

01:04:06
Speaker 2: Like I don't care, but but you should take advantage.

01:04:09
Speaker 3: I totally that. And my my friend is like, who said that catchy phrase don't leave cheddar on the table for whatever reason. I was like, you're right, of course, and shambles yeah. And it was offered during pandemic, and I had my own feelings of like oh God, is this like is this the nail in the coffin like that. And then I went on there and looked and I was like, oh my god, everyone, everybody's everyone's on there, and they're charging nine hundred dollars to just you know, fran dressers on there are She'll charge four hundred dollars to talking at high pitch, whiny voice and show her like her black and white living room.

01:04:49
Speaker 2: What does she need four hundred dollars for? I don't know, man, what.

01:04:54
Speaker 3: Am I getting enough residuals?

01:04:57
Speaker 2: I know your future genera he's not going to get them.

01:05:01
Speaker 3: But I got my eye.

01:05:02
Speaker 2: She must have a fire hose of money coming in from the cameo. She must just like pound them out in a day. It's like doing those radio spots for musicians where they're like smooth eighty eight three, I'm Britney Spears or whatever.

01:05:15
Speaker 3: You Yeah, totally And if you look at if you go through and look through it, thousands of people I don't know, thousands of people who are famous for I don't know why, Like everyone is famous for something vague now.

01:05:27
Speaker 2: I mean, my boyfriend had he sent his mom soap star named like muscles or something. He's like, he's probably eighty years old. Now, but he's always in the tank top. Yeah, something like this, And he sent a cameo and she loved it. Yeah, I would have never. I mean that means literally nothing to me.

01:05:45
Speaker 3: I know that other people.

01:05:46
Speaker 2: She's been watching him on Days of our Lives or whatever for fifty years. Yeah, how to have her cameo?

01:05:51
Speaker 3: Yeah, so look up on a cameo. I would be more enthusiastic about it. But the ones that are cool are actually cool when you get feedback and you can tell the person's not crazy or you know, I don't know where, they appreciate it, and they appreciate it like, oh, that's a normal person who likes me. Yeah. And there was one as like they were haven't They just said like they're just kind of bummed out and depressed and if you just said something funny And then that person wrote back and they're like, you know what, actually helped me.

01:06:18
Speaker 2: So that's very nice.

01:06:19
Speaker 3: So I am a wonderful person.

01:06:21
Speaker 2: You're doing a lot of service.

01:06:22
Speaker 3: I am really changing the world.

01:06:24
Speaker 2: Well, I mean speaking of changing the world, I now have fourteen metal pipes. You have a backyard sculpture that you'll be creating, Yes, I will be creating a very long straw or something, and then you've got a tote bag for all your rifles. I'm ready to go hunting.

01:06:39
Speaker 3: Ready to go hunting.

01:06:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, so look for me in the forest. Look for me in the woods, and you'll be able to see my structure from space, imagine or at least a low flying helicopter.

01:06:50
Speaker 3: Do you ever regift the gifts?

01:06:52
Speaker 2: I haven't yet, really I have. I'm gathering garbage right. The hope is to start doing live shows where actually we give things away. Yeah, which is maybe a bad idea to start a live show to get rid of things, yeah, but it feels like it would be a fun part of the show of Oh look, here's something.

01:07:09
Speaker 3: I'm gonna if I know your next guest, I'm gonna suggest a wet bag of beans.

01:07:16
Speaker 2: I will that, you know, lawyers will become involved something I'll have. I will destroy that person in some way. I'll undermine them.

01:07:24
Speaker 3: Sure.

01:07:25
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for being here. I've had such a great time. This is a delight listener. The podcast is over. You're flying to Cameo, you're googling Brian, You're doing whatever you want. I'm not going to push you around, you know, I'm gonna release my control over you because the podcast is over. Go do whatever you want. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Nilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Coottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from a miracle worker, Amy Man. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?

01:08:19
Speaker 1: And I invited you hear Thunda man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, you're our presences presence enough and I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to survey me