Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Amy and TJ, and we are continuing our
Speaker 2: very interesting conversation with the one and only Cheryl Burke.
Speaker 2: I'm curious you said you went through two divorces in
Speaker 2: twenty twenty two, Dancing with the Stars and your now
Speaker 2: ex husband.
Speaker 1: Which one was harder dancing with the Stars? Bye? I mean,
Speaker 1: hands down, you can't compare. Wow.
Speaker 3: That's not to suggest that your divorce from your husband
Speaker 3: was easy.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.
Speaker 3: It wasn't. That's not an easy thing. Yeah, help us
Speaker 3: with context there. We think about a marriage and then
Speaker 3: some career change, right, So why was that experience with
Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars so much more difficult painful to
Speaker 3: go through?
Speaker 1: It was my I defined that was my identity, like
Speaker 1: I think it was they actually, you know as well,
Speaker 1: I credit them for giving me a voice in general,
Speaker 1: like if I don't know if you if you' you
Speaker 1: see my social but like I post did my very
Speaker 1: first audition and I didn't have like I literally didn't
Speaker 1: have a voice, like I had an English accent with
Speaker 1: like who is this girl? And but like I never
Speaker 1: thought I could ever be my own independent woman back then.
Speaker 1: Ballroom is very much it's a partnership, and it's always
Speaker 1: the men that are in control. Still, Like I know
Speaker 1: it sounds so old school, but like, but that's also
Speaker 1: the beauty of ballroom, Like the man leads, the one follows,
Speaker 1: and then you've produced such beautiful art and then that
Speaker 1: just I'm not saying it happens with everyone, but like
Speaker 1: for me, it was very much like that. And so
Speaker 1: I think coming into my own and being able to
Speaker 1: stay on my own two feet, I credit Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars for that, and I think because they've seen
Speaker 1: me through it all, like it all like I've grown
Speaker 1: up in front. It's like, yeah, it's hard, it's hard.
Speaker 1: You were twenty one when you started, and I started
Speaker 1: out clubbing and then I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: party girl by night, ballroom dancer by day. Were like,
Speaker 1: you're about to turn for it, like in a matter
Speaker 1: of days. Days. Yeah, I'm excited. What does that mean
Speaker 1: to you? I feel like I'm a cat. I've lived
Speaker 1: nine lives, But it means that it's time to move forward,
Speaker 1: like really evolve and just continue on this path of
Speaker 1: the unknown, which is scarish, but it is what we
Speaker 1: all go through regardless. We're on that path to let
Speaker 1: us know if you figure it out. Never I mean,
Speaker 1: I would be writing a handbook if I could write,
Speaker 1: like I'd make a lot of money doing that if
Speaker 1: there was Oh my gosh. But at least you have
Speaker 1: each other, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I will say this, It's not that
Speaker 2: you wish anyone to go through tough times, but when
Speaker 2: people do it publicly and you've been in that situation,
Speaker 2: there is comfort that you give people who have been
Speaker 2: fans of yours forever or even the two of us,
Speaker 2: when you see someone else struggling or going through a
Speaker 2: journey where they're really trying to figure things out, where
Speaker 2: they have their whole world's implode, and they and they
Speaker 2: still get up each morning and they still keep trying,
Speaker 2: and they still keep trying to.
Speaker 1: Do better and learn.
Speaker 2: That's inspiring in and of itself. I think that's the
Speaker 2: hardest thing you've probably ever done. It's the hardest thing
Speaker 2: I've ever done. It's to start over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it is. And then to be able to
Speaker 1: voice it because some people may not ever be able to.
Speaker 1: And I think that is what is incouraged. Like when
Speaker 1: when times are tough and you feel like you don't
Speaker 1: want to get out of bed, or you just want
Speaker 1: to give up, Like I definitely think about that, and
Speaker 1: thank you both for being so vulnerable, like it helps
Speaker 1: so much, you.
Speaker 3: Know, it's some of that. Don't give us too much credit. Man,
Speaker 3: We didn't have a choice but to be at a choice.
Speaker 3: But it's taken us a little while, but we have
Speaker 3: come around and to be around people.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: I don't know how you felt about it, but we
Speaker 3: walked around for so long.
Speaker 1: It's important.
Speaker 3: We walked around with our heads down in shamee bow
Speaker 3: thinking everybody thought a certain way about us, and we
Speaker 3: now and I'm curious now how they're such rabbit fans
Speaker 3: of Dancing with the Stars and people are fans of
Speaker 3: the show just become naturally fans of people who are
Speaker 3: on the show. But then when people there's a divorce,
Speaker 3: like you said, Cheryl goes this way, Dance with the
Speaker 3: Stars goes this way, and it doesn't necessarily seem like
Speaker 3: everybody's hunky dory. People have a tendency to take picksides.
Speaker 3: I'm going to be on the side of Dancing with
Speaker 3: the Stars of the show. I can either be a
Speaker 3: fan of the show. I can be a fan of Cheryl.
Speaker 3: We have people shout this on the streets to us
Speaker 3: all the time. I'm watching that show anymore? You will?
Speaker 3: Do you think you have it all the time.
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think a day goes by where
Speaker 2: people don't say, I don't watch anymore.
Speaker 1: Y'all keep doing you and people are New York and
Speaker 1: do we even have a New York accent? When we
Speaker 1: did that, I love it, though that's a lot of
Speaker 1: fans say to you, I'm sure you get the New
Speaker 1: York act. Now I need to move back there. Maybe no,
Speaker 1: but like I do, like, Okay, for example, I was
Speaker 1: just messing around, but I was dancing. I'm like a
Speaker 1: segment host for the Jennifer Hudson Show, and I ran
Speaker 1: into I don't know if you know him, but Marcelle.
Speaker 1: He's like a very very famous he was friends with
Speaker 1: the Demilios, are still still friends. But we were dancing
Speaker 1: and messing around. I was like contest season thirty three,
Speaker 1: here we come. And people were like, so people think
Speaker 1: I'm coming back, right, So I just like, and I
Speaker 1: just don't know how to address this because I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to like, I was clearly just choking.
Speaker 3: Yeah big time.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, my god, I can't wait. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start watching the show again. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh god, I don't know what to say, so I
Speaker 1: just haven't. I've ghosted everyone, I guess. But now that
Speaker 1: I'm talking about it, I'm like, I should probably uh
Speaker 1: set the record, Sta, Yeah, yeah you're not. But I
Speaker 1: was just literally joking.
Speaker 3: Obviously, Counsel those fans for a second, because they do
Speaker 3: people getting I know you don't. You would never tell
Speaker 3: somebody don't be a fan of dancing with a stif
Speaker 3: you would never do that. But but help them resolve
Speaker 3: their loyalty to you and their face.
Speaker 1: And I heard it when someone's like, I don't watch
Speaker 1: the show anymore like I would. I don't think that's
Speaker 1: a good thing.
Speaker 3: But help them resolve that conflict they have being loyal
Speaker 3: to you and being loyal to the show.
Speaker 1: It's just the show is just a beautiful show, like
Speaker 1: with me or without me, right, But mind you, I
Speaker 1: can't stop talking about it obviously, Like I'm just like, wait,
Speaker 1: is this yeah, it's my therapist. I'm like, is this good?
Speaker 1: She goes you know what, Cheryl? It is good because
Speaker 1: normally you'd run away from it, like I would have
Speaker 1: run the opposite way, and I would have probably numbed
Speaker 1: this part of my life, not wanting to have to
Speaker 1: feel or deal or face the pain because it's painful.
Speaker 1: And I'm a professional number, and I don't necessarily always
Speaker 1: go through you know, I don't choose that.
Speaker 2: Get you six years sober, that's incredible. You're You're not
Speaker 2: a professional number in that. No, No, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: you've been tested like you couldn't have imagined this past year.
Speaker 1: I would have loved a vodka soda at one point,
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, it's one second at a time sometimes,
Speaker 1: like actually sometimes most of the time lately.
Speaker 3: We just had this conversation recently with one of your former.
Speaker 1: Day that episode. I love him.
Speaker 3: He talked to us about that. I'm sure you Roll's
Speaker 3: experience at least sharing that experience together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it was it was towards the beginning of
Speaker 1: my journey, and that was when we did our first
Speaker 1: podcast together. And yeah, it was so special. I mean,
Speaker 1: like this is what I mean, Like we were able
Speaker 1: to do a dance dedicated to our sobriety. Like and
Speaker 1: then I remember one of the lighting guys like this big,
Speaker 1: hefty man like came out to his end, was in tears,
Speaker 1: and it's like, this is why I just freaking love
Speaker 1: the show. Like I just love it. I love every
Speaker 1: single freaking inch of it. But I also know that
Speaker 1: we could be hurt, we could be disappointed, but we
Speaker 1: could still love, like we bring that back.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: It all comes down to that, Like life's so freaking short.
Speaker 3: Everybody's sobriety journey is similar in some ways but also
Speaker 3: very different. Yours. You said sometimes it's I remember AJ
Speaker 3: pointed out to us, he said, Hey, I woke up
Speaker 3: sober today. I don't know what's going to happen, no idea,
Speaker 3: But you just said, second to second, what is especially
Speaker 3: going through the difficulties you've had recent years, how it
Speaker 3: does it get harder? You said, I love a vodka soda.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then like my stepsister just passed away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And yes, life tests me and everyone constantly, and I
Speaker 1: have to be super uh present to not pick up
Speaker 1: a drink.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: Because also when people ask me, like what has been
Speaker 1: your rock bottom? My rock bottom was my success was
Speaker 1: when I was drinking, Because when I was actually successful,
Speaker 1: Like if you're going to look meaning like successful from
Speaker 1: the outside the mirror balls. Okay, so it was like
Speaker 1: the first two seasons back in two thousand and six,
Speaker 1: that's when I was really drinking, Like that's when I
Speaker 1: wasn't Maybe then I can relate to the drinking as Okay, well,
Speaker 1: now maybe I drink because like the voices in my head,
Speaker 1: I was overthinking, I'm overthinking, I'm overanalyzing, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, stop, like get out of your head.
Speaker 1: You know, like all of it, like the perfectionism there's
Speaker 1: no such thing, and never good enough, like being judged
Speaker 1: my whole life from like you know, all of it,
Speaker 1: and I'm not complaining about it. It is the path
Speaker 1: I've chose, and I've chosen, but the drinking and the
Speaker 1: height of my success are parallel. So then sometimes I
Speaker 1: think to myself, maybe I should just do that again.
Speaker 3: Shit, because then you know, look, she knows why I
Speaker 3: said that, because it damn Cheryl, good lord, you're talking
Speaker 3: to me now, because the the the lowest I've ever
Speaker 3: been in my life is when I was the highest
Speaker 3: in my career. God, absolutely, I feel you're a hundred person.
Speaker 1: Is that crazy?
Speaker 3: Is the case? She was sitting there and watching it
Speaker 3: all unfold the lowest I've ever.
Speaker 2: Been because he's a perfectionist and an overthinker. And when
Speaker 2: you start to get success, you don't want to lose it.
Speaker 2: You want to keep it going. And you wanted totter
Speaker 2: and be better. And when you're trying to do that,
Speaker 2: you can't quiet your thoughts. And yeah, I watched it
Speaker 2: when you said that, I oh, wow, you were speaking
Speaker 2: his language.
Speaker 1: I think that's why. I mean, like, look, it's not
Speaker 1: one reason, but like I I mean, like for example,
Speaker 1: like I don't sleep a lot, and I was never
Speaker 1: like that, but everyone's like, oh my dad. I mean
Speaker 1: I do I know that perfect? I've got brother everywhere. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that's another pot more interesting. Yeah, it's confusing, but yeah,
Speaker 1: like I just I mean, you should see my home.
Speaker 1: Like it's like I always joke like the O C D.
Speaker 1: And but it's not a joke like the freaking but
Speaker 1: like and then I asked, I literally do I try so?
Speaker 1: I meditate? I do translit on a meditation. Has it helped? Yes?
Speaker 1: But man, when I've like and I've gone, and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say I do it every day, like
Speaker 1: I'm not, No, I don't should I Yes? But then
Speaker 1: like the self hate, how dare you don't do this?
Speaker 1: And then like I start to like hate myself and
Speaker 1: I am very present. I'm like starting to really try
Speaker 1: and stay more observed, like what the like what that
Speaker 1: voice is instead of like define myself because of it,
Speaker 1: Like because it's just like it's thoughts, like and feelings.
Speaker 1: It's just like the waves of the ocean. It just goes.
Speaker 1: It's in and out, in and out, and it's not
Speaker 1: it's not the reality good, but like I need to
Speaker 1: live it now instead of just preach it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's the it's the more you preach it, it's
Speaker 2: the roommate you never wanted.
Speaker 1: And it never goes away.
Speaker 2: I hate I remember it was like if you don't
Speaker 2: think that, you don't self hate, and that voice in
Speaker 2: your head doesn't sabotage you every moment.
Speaker 1: Just the next time when you're in the shower, just
Speaker 1: observe your thoughts. Just observe your thoughts. And you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I
Speaker 1: know it's crazy. It's Michael Singer. Yep, oh yes, I
Speaker 1: love him. That's all my bucket list. I want to
Speaker 1: go to his place and flo me and my stepdad.
Speaker 1: We want to go.
Speaker 2: So I will say this to you Cheryl and to
Speaker 2: you TJ. Is that that perfectionism and that OCD. I
Speaker 2: mean I have a smidge of it. I don't have
Speaker 2: it to the extent that either one of you do.
Speaker 2: But the point is it's part of why you are
Speaker 2: as great as you are at.
Speaker 1: What you do, both of you, because you know it's true.
Speaker 1: So it's like it's like it's a it's a double
Speaker 1: edged sword. Yeah, but there's also but like I for me,
Speaker 1: at least, I know I'm living up to something that
Speaker 1: like I'll never be happy, Like it's not it's not enough, right,
Speaker 1: Like it's not even if I'm like, oh, if I
Speaker 1: get this or maybe if i'm this, or if I
Speaker 1: get like all the money, is like no, like it's
Speaker 1: not that is not it. It's not it. And I
Speaker 1: know it sounds so cliche and for me it sounds
Speaker 1: so like not my life at this moment, but I'm
Speaker 1: trying to get there. It's like it all comes in,
Speaker 1: it's all within, and that's the thing why I have
Speaker 1: to be alone right now. And that's why because like
Speaker 1: if I don't like what I see, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: literally life is gonna go by, and I would have
Speaker 1: done the same. It's the freaking hamstery. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: get off of it.
Speaker 3: You say you have to be alone right now, but you.
Speaker 1: Have to I mean, I'm not alone. I'm not lonely though.
Speaker 3: That was my question there. I guess where is your.
Speaker 1: Me and my friends?
Speaker 3: You are killing it France.
Speaker 1: Yes, Frenchie, she got the dog and the divorce. Not
Speaker 1: like a friend, Chie, like a toy boy. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: forget to love that girl.
Speaker 3: You talk about the family you lost was Dancy with
Speaker 3: the stars, but I know you had friends outside of that.
Speaker 3: But what is your support group look like these days?
Speaker 1: It's small and I know this is good. But I
Speaker 1: have a lot of paid friends and I love them, Yeah,
Speaker 1: regardless of the intention, I just know that first of all,
Speaker 1: I trust them all, even though I can count on
Speaker 1: one hand. But I also have realized, like I can't
Speaker 1: give more than that, Like I can only do so
Speaker 1: much before I then start to be a people pleaser
Speaker 1: because like I'm also a victim of that. But like
Speaker 1: I also know that me leaving La was a really
Speaker 1: and me going through all of this. You know, your
Speaker 1: freaking friends are man at the height of your success
Speaker 1: and when you decide to do something that may not
Speaker 1: be of society like the norm, right, like or god forbid,
Speaker 1: I have an opinion, like do you know me? Do
Speaker 1: you not know me? Like like this is not the
Speaker 1: you know, I feel like I've always been one to
Speaker 1: have an opinion regardless. It's just so life is just
Speaker 1: so short and for me, it's like maybe I have
Speaker 1: trust issues or I do have trust issues. I know that,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to live life jaded.
Speaker 3: Are you surprised by the number of people you've lost
Speaker 3: as far as friends in the past two years? That
Speaker 3: friends circle? You said, you know who your friends are?
Speaker 1: Well, what's interesting is that, Like I think what people
Speaker 1: may think is that, like all of us pro dancers
Speaker 1: are friends. Like but just because we're on a show together,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that we're like besties. We know, you know,
Speaker 1: I know. But the rest of the people listening to this,
Speaker 1: lots of people but like you know, uh yeah, I
Speaker 1: think I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker 3: Like you even outside of that, but I'm have but.
Speaker 1: I guess I didn't have a lot of friends really
Speaker 1: like not not like well, I've been burned a lot,
Speaker 1: But who hasn't I don't. I would say I'm socially awkward,
Speaker 1: like I don't necessarily love going out in public and
Speaker 1: meeting people like I mean, that's a whole nother conversation,
Speaker 1: but like that has to do with I mean, I
Speaker 1: just honestly, like, say some more things about yourself that
Speaker 1: are exactly like don't leave for work, like I only
Speaker 1: get in my car, like this past weekend, I literally
Speaker 1: did arts and crafts while researching Gille Marini, my next
Speaker 1: guest on the podcast, and walking and feeding my dog
Speaker 1: and like tending to hurt act like I don't go anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's nice though, right, you're in a good place. You're
Speaker 1: in a good place to do that death definitely, But
Speaker 1: I'm also like I'm never ever gonna meet anyone behind
Speaker 1: my closet door number one, like come on down, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: like unfortunately, But dating sounds like I would rather do
Speaker 1: anything I think than date, because TJ says this to me,
Speaker 1: It's like, can't you give me on a date? Are
Speaker 1: you missing out on getting that opportunity to date?
Speaker 2: I was like, getting the opportunity to date, ew, that
Speaker 2: is the last thing I want to do.
Speaker 1: Awkward first dates. Really, I refuse to do dating. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what a dating. I don't even know
Speaker 1: how to work a dating. I've never done one either.
Speaker 1: And then like what like you know, like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: just swipe? What a douche? Like I can't do this?
Speaker 3: Do she think these are the conversations we have? Yes,
Speaker 3: her boyfriend says to her, don't want to date?
Speaker 1: I'm like also like maybe why are you asking my
Speaker 1: wet tissue? At you free?
Speaker 3: You're you have, you have an opportunity?
Speaker 1: Now, why are you don't do that?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 3: Don't stop it?
Speaker 1: Just st up your marriage counselor life coach. I'm not certified.
Speaker 3: Who's counseling you?
Speaker 1: A lot of counseling, That's what I mean. Paid friends?
Speaker 1: I mean I've got a circle and boy is that expensive? No,
Speaker 1: it's not a write off. I tried that podcast. You
Speaker 1: know that's paying the bills, right, you.
Speaker 3: Don't have to name them. But is there somebody you're
Speaker 3: still surprised that is out of your life now after
Speaker 3: all you've gone through, Like you're still just surprised, like wow,
Speaker 3: how close we were that you've just lost?
Speaker 1: It's not and it's and it's yes, yes, yes, And
Speaker 1: it's sometimes it's too almost too much to face at
Speaker 1: the moment at this moment, like I have to face
Speaker 1: it at some point. But I've got lots to face
Speaker 1: because I, like I said, you know, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of and even before Dancing on the Stars, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff I haven't faced.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what's left?
Speaker 1: Face? How long do you got?
Speaker 3: Hey? We got all kinds of time. We're good, right,
Speaker 3: audio guys, as.
Speaker 1: We're I think I'm going through like the forgiving of
Speaker 1: like I got molested when I was a little girl.
Speaker 3: So you've talked about that, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have talked about it quite a lot, and
Speaker 1: I think it's really living the Can I say that
Speaker 1: I have a that I've forgiven? Yes? But am I do?
Speaker 1: I really like I'm really dissecting it all as we
Speaker 1: do over thinkers, but like I really want to make
Speaker 1: sure that I'm healing, because like, without me healing my past,
Speaker 1: how the hell am I gonna heal what's happening now
Speaker 1: or what has happened in the past couple of years. It's
Speaker 1: just so much. And I believe that we hold on
Speaker 1: to trauma like our body does. Keep the score. M
Speaker 1: oh yeah, And I've seen too many people and within
Speaker 1: my family just go too soon, Like it's just too soon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's true.
Speaker 2: I do believe that's who You hold it in and
Speaker 2: your body reacts and it's not good.
Speaker 1: Have you ever done a puncture? I'm not religiously, I've
Speaker 1: done it, and you can't believe. Like I started sobbing
Speaker 1: and like what's happening. But it's like all that pain,
Speaker 1: all that emotion you've been holding in just gets released.
Speaker 1: It's bizarre. So I do energy work like I have
Speaker 1: this right, I have this energy healer that I know
Speaker 1: about acupuncture. However, I hear it's amazing, Like I hear
Speaker 1: it's such a release.
Speaker 2: It's crazy. And if you don't believe that your body
Speaker 2: doesn't hold onto emotion, do it one time and you will.
Speaker 2: Your mind will be blown. It's crazy. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it was really.
Speaker 1: No, it shocked me. Yeah no, I believe, like, oh my,
Speaker 1: you know it's so tight.
Speaker 4: That's trauma, you know, not just pointing at you, sorry,
Speaker 4: but you know, like when animals shake, like when your
Speaker 4: dog shakes, they're releasing trump.
Speaker 1: They don't hold on to PTSD. This is a freaking fact,
Speaker 1: why is it?
Speaker 3: Or again the paid friends you have, yes, the counsel
Speaker 3: you I'm fascinating you talked about the trauma you went
Speaker 3: through and being abused when you were younger as a child.
Speaker 3: That's something you need to forgive myself. You need to
Speaker 3: forgive yourself. You don't need to forgive.
Speaker 1: I'm not ever okay, no, no, yeah, I need to
Speaker 1: make that clear. I won't thank you for bringing that up. No, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't forgive him for the act. Uh okay, No,
Speaker 1: definitely what he did was absolutely, I mean he's he's
Speaker 1: dead now. But it's more like, forgive me for whatever
Speaker 1: I was feeling and dealing with at that moment, for
Speaker 1: not telling my parents right away, Like it took years
Speaker 1: and it wasn't even me that told them, you know,
Speaker 1: so that I testified him against him when I was
Speaker 1: like nine. I mean, mind you, I don't know because
Speaker 1: of my timeline. That's what happens with trauma. You just
Speaker 1: don't really have a timeline. But then after that, I
Speaker 1: had just gottento abusive relationships like that was my home
Speaker 1: was being treated in a way like that, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you were imprinted early on in that my mom and
Speaker 1: dad divorced. Yeah, like it just was like, look, were
Speaker 1: there great times? Absolutely, like obviously, but there was a
Speaker 1: lot of troubma. I'm not going to deny that.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's remarkable that you're taking the time
Speaker 2: to work on yourself.
Speaker 1: Most people don't ever get to that place.
Speaker 2: And for anyone who is stuck or doesn't know how
Speaker 2: to get out of a situation, whether it's a career
Speaker 2: or a relationship, or can't get out of their own way,
Speaker 2: what would you what would you say to anyone listening
Speaker 2: to who's hearing your story and thinking, how do I
Speaker 2: take that first step?
Speaker 1: Well, first, know that you're not alone. I think that
Speaker 1: is I wish I had someone. I wish I could
Speaker 1: hear at least someone's story when I was growing up. Actually,
Speaker 1: because it is lonely when you when you feel like
Speaker 1: you can't talk to anybody. Because I didn't talk to anyone,
Speaker 1: it became my normal way of living. Like the abuse
Speaker 1: both physically and mentally was my that was normal. I
Speaker 1: was not even attracted to like the nice guy, and
Speaker 1: it was actually quite disgusting to me when men were
Speaker 1: nice to me. It was so crazy anyway, So but
Speaker 1: then also know that it's just about what is happening
Speaker 1: in front of you. Like I think it's so overwhelming
Speaker 1: to think, like, oh my god, now she's turned her life.
Speaker 1: I can only imagine like people are like, I'm never
Speaker 1: going to get there. I'm never going to get to
Speaker 1: like success. This has been killing me. It is really
Speaker 1: about putting yourself first and trying to just not think
Speaker 1: too far into the future because we actually don't know
Speaker 1: what's going to happen in about two minutes from now,
Speaker 1: Like we don't know any of it. Like all we
Speaker 1: know is right now, and what is the priority? It
Speaker 1: has to be you, because how can you tend to
Speaker 1: other people without putting yourself first? In general?
Speaker 3: You know, where did marriage fit in that journey for you?
Speaker 3: I hear that you were on your journey. Were you
Speaker 3: not ready? Were you not a good mate or partner?
Speaker 3: Did the marriage set you back even in your journey?
Speaker 3: How did it help you or hinder you in the
Speaker 3: journey that you're now on.
Speaker 1: Well, I learned a lot, that's for sure. I learned
Speaker 1: that you can't buy love. You tried, I did, I think, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: what do you mean I tried to not obviously? I
Speaker 1: didn't buy my ex husband, but like I definitely I
Speaker 1: would say I was the breadwind like I supported us.
Speaker 1: And I don't think it's black and white like for
Speaker 1: me to say like I thought I could. I think
Speaker 1: this is me my subconscious like after doing all this work,
Speaker 1: like I wasn't going into it like oh I'm gonna
Speaker 1: buy his love and no, like that's not like what
Speaker 1: my mind frame was. But like I just thought like
Speaker 1: the control, like me controlled, being the person who controlled.
Speaker 1: I feel like you understand me. It's hard for you
Speaker 1: to put this into words, right, but like it it's
Speaker 1: like it was like it made me feel good, but
Speaker 1: then it didn't necessarily make the relationship good, right, so
Speaker 1: I had a false sense of security.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's also a mask lading and so it
Speaker 2: creates an awful dynamic.
Speaker 1: And as much as I say, do I want someone
Speaker 1: who takes care of me or I just don't know
Speaker 1: if I do, like I and that that is another
Speaker 1: that's just adding to the pile. But like I need to,
Speaker 1: you know, let it go, Like I gotta let it go, right,
Speaker 1: Like I have to just be able to be all
Speaker 1: the things, Like it's not just one or the other.
Speaker 1: So deep.
Speaker 2: This is of friendship though, Like I mean, I think
Speaker 2: that's a good starting place, just friendship, right, yeah, well
Speaker 2: I mean you go, I think so.
Speaker 3: If anybody listening might be anyone, well a guy listening. Okay,
Speaker 3: she's not ready to mingle.
Speaker 1: Yet, and if you mingle, preferably let's just do it
Speaker 1: like you know, comfort of my own home, but non't
Speaker 1: bed a creepy Okay.
Speaker 3: Do you have any idea what kind of guy you're
Speaker 3: looking for? You want?
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, I do, actually, cause I know what I
Speaker 1: don't want.
Speaker 3: So women, what you don't want?
Speaker 1: You don't know what you want, but you definitely know
Speaker 1: what you don't want. That's the thing when I was like,
Speaker 1: what do you want? Like, well, what do you don't want?
Speaker 1: Like that's that's the good starting point, right. I want
Speaker 1: someone who wants to evolve like that, wants to consistently
Speaker 1: and wants to like work on himself, be able to
Speaker 1: take accountability when needed, because like, you can blame all
Speaker 1: day long, but at the end of the day, you're
Speaker 1: stuck with you for the rest of your freakod life.
Speaker 1: You better like yourself. Someone who's supportive, someone who is
Speaker 1: not Confidence is the wrong word worthy, he is self
Speaker 1: worth because confidence is just I believe ego like comes
Speaker 1: from like the foundation of maybe a little ego. We
Speaker 1: all have one, right, but like to really be okay
Speaker 1: with who he is. I think that foundation is so important.
Speaker 1: Communication of course, and then smell good and look good
Speaker 1: like that's all bs, but like, yeah that helps, that
Speaker 1: will help. That might seal the deal for me. Okay,
Speaker 1: so attractive and showers what you're Yeah, yeah, hygiene. I
Speaker 1: actually I prefer to make it if you smell like
Speaker 1: old spice, that's an added bodus. I'm old school. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I definitely make my partners. Back in the day, I
Speaker 1: was like, you're not wearing Colone, you better go back
Speaker 1: in that car yours. Absolutely absolutely, you gotta wear deodorant
Speaker 1: and everything not.
Speaker 3: Just clean you need you need.
Speaker 1: So we're sweating, like I'm sweating like a freaking Jetsnat
Speaker 1: truck driver. Like I'm like I like a shower, like
Speaker 1: I'm spinning and there's sweat.
Speaker 3: But you need colgne. You don't smell good. He needs
Speaker 3: correct and we're.
Speaker 1: Not doing the natural deodorant like you're gonna get Perspian correct.
Speaker 1: It needs like maybe women's Yeah, it needs to actually
Speaker 1: work odor. He doesn't need to mask, it needs to
Speaker 1: block block.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: So wait, you said you know what you don't want.
Speaker 1: What don't you want the opposite of what I said?
Speaker 4: So someone who blames people, someone who is super indecided.
Speaker 1: Okay, So just if you can't order dinner like I
Speaker 1: just can't. And that was my first and last date
Speaker 1: that I was on since my Like, you couldn't order dinner.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, come on please, I was like,
Speaker 1: I was like please, and don't say same as hers like,
Speaker 1: I don't want that.
Speaker 3: No, I'm fascinated. How long ago was this date? I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it right, Okay, that's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Okay, but couldn't order dinner like deferred and you know
Speaker 3: you set.
Speaker 1: Me up on the state atual friend of ours. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier today.
Speaker 3: Was gonna go bad.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't date, that's why.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, order food.
Speaker 1: I think he got nervous.
Speaker 3: Well, you are intimidating.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not.
Speaker 4: I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm I have a resting bitch face. We all know this,
Speaker 1: but I'm happy inside. It's all Disneyland on the side. Okay,
Speaker 1: Disney and fairies and twinkles and lights.
Speaker 3: Now what the other?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: Why did you, Cheryl? Why it got a lot of attention? Why?
Speaker 3: Why why did you make this wedding? But TikTok post?
Speaker 1: Which one the right was?
Speaker 3: TikTok? Wasn't it the one?
Speaker 1: I love some TikTok? I love it so much?
Speaker 3: Biagra?
Speaker 1: Biagra?
Speaker 3: That wasn't that? That's a long time ago.
Speaker 1: I was so me twenty twenty three. Okay, so that
Speaker 1: was you? No, Okay, this is one thing I need
Speaker 1: to be clear. I've had more than one ex boyfriend. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: but you did names.
Speaker 3: Okay, but you had to have known where everybody's head
Speaker 3: was going to go when you posted that. No, you didn't, Cheryl.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you think.
Speaker 1: I'm not like this, this like born? I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't want I love everyone right, Like I'm just saying
Speaker 1: like I'm not known to be this, like oh, you know,
Speaker 1: like I have had a past. You're not sanctimonious. No,
Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm not just talking about one.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not talking about anyone. Maybe I'm just like,
Speaker 1: this is a great sound. We're gonna use this, just
Speaker 1: see if we can cause some controversy so we can
Speaker 1: get some followers.
Speaker 3: You said, oh, do you tell me that's so I
Speaker 3: fell for it?
Speaker 1: I think, so, okay, because the joke's on you, buddy,
Speaker 1: not me.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you're telling me that was BS.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's just fun. It's fun. There's not
Speaker 1: truth to everything I say or post.
Speaker 3: Talk about this. Was there any truth to that TikTok post?
Speaker 1: Which one can? I can? I I need your question memory.
Speaker 1: I'm literally sweating my hand it hot in here?
Speaker 3: What was it? He promised he wouldn't talk to her again?
Speaker 3: But I found text messages viagra and a necklace and
Speaker 3: a shoe.
Speaker 1: Doesn't that sound like a great movie?
Speaker 3: It sounds like what you wrote, Sheryl.
Speaker 1: Literally sweating it is warman here? No, No, if there's
Speaker 1: that okay, that specific posts, I would say fifty percent
Speaker 1: of it's.
Speaker 3: True, which fifty Yeah, I don't know you.
Speaker 1: I mean, I say it again, but what was that?
Speaker 3: But you had to have known what people were going
Speaker 3: to think when you posted that, and was that the idea?
Speaker 1: But back then I only had like five followers, so
Speaker 1: I was like, this is not going to circle around.
Speaker 3: I'm getting nowhere.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't think she wants you to get anywhere.
Speaker 2: That's the whole point I do.
Speaker 1: Did you get I got tons after that post? Success. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm still not happy though, still like more followers. You know,
Speaker 1: you know, less folks never happy.
Speaker 3: Do you enjoy it? Do the social media? Because of tiktoku,
Speaker 3: It's like I.
Speaker 1: Don't have to overthink it. It's so Instagram is starting
Speaker 1: to get really manicured, and it's just like I'm at
Speaker 1: the crossroads. Like the first thing I think about is
Speaker 1: not to take a selfie or post, like it's just
Speaker 1: not my mentality. But I know a lot of people,
Speaker 1: do you know, they're like, oh my god, I get this.
Speaker 1: I'm like wait, second, First, my goal is to get
Speaker 1: the hell out of the situation that I'm in, Like
Speaker 1: run if I have to run, right, Like, it's not
Speaker 1: to take a sell, not to take a picture or
Speaker 1: video of this. But like I'm I'm just not wire
Speaker 1: like that. But mind you, I appreciate it. I'm learning
Speaker 1: to love it. But I really love TikTok because you
Speaker 1: could just be just yourself. It's just so raw, like
Speaker 1: it's really who I am, and it's okay you get
Speaker 1: away with.
Speaker 3: Murder, Is it really who you are just fifty percent of?
Speaker 1: Like maybe if you really want to talk about it,
Speaker 1: maybe like sixty three point five percent.
Speaker 3: Please talk to her.
Speaker 2: Well in the podcast, you're loving it, And do you
Speaker 2: have any regrets given what the podcast has created in
Speaker 2: terms of your relationship with Dancing with the Stories, any
Speaker 2: regrets about the podcast?
Speaker 1: I don't have regrets, no, but I wish things would
Speaker 1: have played out different. But that has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with me having a podcast about a show that I
Speaker 1: love and that I've been a part of for two decades.
Speaker 3: As we sit here, well, if you were a bed
Speaker 3: and woman, what would you put the chances of you
Speaker 3: ever being on Dancing with the Stars again in any capacity?
Speaker 3: If you were Bed and Woman? As we sit here,
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: I know how I'll play Blackjack. I'm just saying, but
Speaker 1: like I don't, I don't know. I don't like, I
Speaker 1: don't think about it. I just I don't know.
Speaker 3: But you want to be on the show I sit here,
Speaker 3: It was such a part you grew up there.
Speaker 1: I know that means of course, and it's also like yes,
Speaker 1: it's everything, but like I also don't want to get
Speaker 1: my hopes up either.
Speaker 3: You know, though, why not be optimistic? Why not shouldn't
Speaker 3: we all? Don't we tell people that all the time,
Speaker 3: Like parents killed more kids' dreams than anything else.
Speaker 1: Why I wish I was, I'm not. I'm not. Definitely.
Speaker 1: If you were to say, who's cherl Burke, she's not optimist,
Speaker 1: I would say she's a realist. Yes too much? So yeah, ok,
Speaker 1: thank you? Yeah, And I'm proud of it. It is
Speaker 1: what it is. You know, I'd rather live like that
Speaker 1: than live in uh, you know, the fairy tale Disney World.
Speaker 1: You said it?
Speaker 3: Oh, here comes the call.
Speaker 1: I do not say that.
Speaker 3: On Dancing with the Stars. Tell me the I have
Speaker 3: a couple dancing with the star, like for clarity, Okay,
Speaker 3: I wanted to ask about the voting. Okay, okay, do
Speaker 3: you are you still? Do you completely understand because I've
Speaker 3: heard I.
Speaker 1: Know, I don't. I don't. I don't think anyone other
Speaker 1: than the people create whoever created this freaking whole formula
Speaker 1: though brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker 3: Like because none of us can understand it.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 1: Also, it's not just that it's like the seven days
Speaker 1: a week because like you at your own risk, right,
Speaker 1: like you have to do seven days a week, like
Speaker 1: you have to make this show, you have to go
Speaker 1: out there, you have to be vulnerable, and it's like
Speaker 1: it is seven days a week. Even if maybe they
Speaker 1: say you could have days off, No one's having a
Speaker 1: day off like it. And actually it's just a brilliant
Speaker 1: formula in general to get emotions out of people, to
Speaker 1: see people be vulnerable, like it's a great way of
Speaker 1: just getting you get broken down. And then yes, I
Speaker 1: guess the country watches water.
Speaker 3: The voting because I've heard actual contestants complain celebrity contest
Speaker 3: change about how the voter There's no way I got
Speaker 3: voter off. This is like flat out will go off
Speaker 3: in private about it. Did you all have a good
Speaker 3: handle on how the voting worked?
Speaker 1: I think, you know, I think people get so emotional
Speaker 1: because it's like we are invested right like it actually,
Speaker 1: especially as pros, like you know, after season after season,
Speaker 1: but like can we read a rule book? Yes, but
Speaker 1: do we obviously we don't, Like I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: just it's there. They're very transparent about it, like they're
Speaker 1: like we've got it's fifty fift points system. And then
Speaker 1: as soon as like Bobby Bones won that one season.
Speaker 1: Then it changed. Then it was like the judges, you know,
Speaker 1: and then it changes. But like, you know what, just dance.
Speaker 1: Just go out there, do your job and don't ask questions.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding the joke. I don't promote that.
Speaker 3: What are the salaries of everybody on the show?
Speaker 1: Wow? A couple of tears for me? You just ask.
Speaker 3: Shocked me how much you made. But I'm saying, but
Speaker 3: from the contestants to the pro do the pros make
Speaker 3: different amounts. Actually I don't know, no.
Speaker 1: They do. It's not favor nations. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm but it's not like by the Way though, Senor
Speaker 1: of course, because you have a lot of new new
Speaker 1: dancers and yeah, I mean it's it's not favorite Nations
Speaker 1: in that sense, but it is fair and like moving,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: You still watch the current you have to, but the
Speaker 3: current do you watch or is it an emotional difficult?
Speaker 1: It's so it's everything, especially doing these rewatches, like I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh God, like sometimes I dread it because
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is I don't even know what this
Speaker 1: is going to bring up. But I've never seen until recently,
Speaker 1: obviously doing these rewatches. I've never seen a whole show,
Speaker 1: like a whole season, Like I've only selfishly fast forward it,
Speaker 1: like and I watched mine because then I have to
Speaker 1: train my partner the next day, so I have to
Speaker 1: know what he did wrong. It's a whole assessment. But
Speaker 1: to see the show as a whole, whoa, it's a
Speaker 1: machine like it really is. And I understand that there's
Speaker 1: a psychology of this whole show that no one speaks about.
Speaker 1: That's untold. I'm still trying to figure it out. But
Speaker 1: but as a viewer now I see things differently. So
Speaker 1: like I don't like to see tension packages. I don't
Speaker 1: like to see when people fight. It actually makes me
Speaker 1: not want to vote for them. Oh wow, you want
Speaker 1: to root for them? I don't if they fight? Oh no, no,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: But I'm saying, you want to be inspired by them
Speaker 2: and improve for them, and like the positive stories.
Speaker 1: Yes, but not don't mask. And what I actually appreciate
Speaker 1: in the prior seasons, the earlier seasons was that they
Speaker 1: didn't they wasn't scripted. There was no script It was like,
Speaker 1: this is the problem, ballroom's looking hard, and we're going
Speaker 1: to have a fight. But we're not going to ask
Speaker 1: it up with like and then we're doing the chata
Speaker 1: chat and then like no, no, no. It was real reality
Speaker 1: in the dance studio and something that I think they
Speaker 1: should continue to do or add back because it's not
Speaker 1: like that now as much, because like I said, not
Speaker 1: everything is always Ryan Stone's spray tnds and love bugs.
Speaker 3: But you even said that you don't want to see
Speaker 3: the fighting.
Speaker 1: No, but there's a difference of like struggle versus fighting.
Speaker 1: Struggle struggle struggle to learn something, and like the freaking
Speaker 1: like this is not easy, like the turnaround the two
Speaker 1: three days. You have the pressure, the pressure, the pressure
Speaker 1: versus like some tension that's like awkward. You're kind of
Speaker 1: like are you guys doing the dirty or like there's
Speaker 1: like that tension. Actual tension is always good for TV ratings,
Speaker 1: right correct, But then there's like the fights, but then
Speaker 1: there's like but then there's like the like the cat
Speaker 1: like the not trusting each other fight that I don't
Speaker 1: like to see.
Speaker 3: And you all in totally random on who you got
Speaker 3: paired up with. You had no control over it. We
Speaker 3: don't have control.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's random. On the executives. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: we I mean I have I lived a very sheltered
Speaker 1: life my mother, you know, thanks Harry Burke. But I
Speaker 1: never knew my partner, so I had to google them.
Speaker 1: So they had to brief me because I walk in
Speaker 1: Emmitt Smith like, who are you like? And who were you?
Speaker 1: Dreuliche I had.
Speaker 3: No idea who were they trying to give you? Like
Speaker 3: what type of person do you think they wanted to
Speaker 3: link you pair you up with?
Speaker 1: It depends on the season. Yeah, I think in the
Speaker 1: beginning they didn't know me as much obviously, but I
Speaker 1: think they saw my teaching ability, which was strict, like
Speaker 1: a task master, maybe like a drill sergeant, you know.
Speaker 1: And so they wouldn't give me someone like Donnie Osmond
Speaker 1: put it that way, okay, right, because that was just
Speaker 1: oh wow, that'd be right, Like that wouldn't work, Like
Speaker 1: maybe he needed someone who was a little tender Kim,
Speaker 1: a little bit more caring and loving in there. But
Speaker 1: you give me a Ryan Lofty, I'll whip that.
Speaker 3: We got I got you tell me who you got
Speaker 3: when you got the name you got? Hell? Yeah? And
Speaker 3: then who'd you get me?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: Oh, give me a couple of people.
Speaker 1: Where you I have to google everyone, but any athletes.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hell, yes, yes, I love I just love
Speaker 1: the mentality Tom Delay. I oh, how long ago was that?
Speaker 1: Sixty nineteen sixty five?
Speaker 3: Oh, while.
Speaker 1: It was a while ago. I don't know what season,
Speaker 1: but that was a that was interesting. I mean, mind you.
Speaker 1: I had to google obviously, but then I was like,
Speaker 1: oh god, this is gonna be great. And his family
Speaker 1: was lovely. He taught me how to, you know, shoot
Speaker 1: people not people.
Speaker 3: I get it.
Speaker 1: Targets, thank you, thank you, rubber duckies, ducky anywhere any
Speaker 1: more probing questions, their teaching.
Speaker 3: That was just about the show. That's what I happen,
Speaker 3: all right, we got this, okay.
Speaker 1: My favorite was when he asked you how much you made?
Speaker 3: It's a legitimate question about the.
Speaker 1: Just I mean, this is why you guys are you
Speaker 1: do what you do?
Speaker 3: It is getting hot in here now.
Speaker 1: It is hot as like really though, like actually even
Speaker 1: before this interview is a little well Sammy Cheryl, thank you,
Speaker 1: We like we appreciate it. You just you came in here.
Speaker 1: You did tell it all the sex, the lies and
Speaker 1: that I don't have I know, I'm pretty white. Actually,
Speaker 1: should lay out drink water.
Speaker 3: So where are we going to tell everybody? Where are
Speaker 3: they going to see you next?
Speaker 1: You just hear me talk all things dancing with the
Speaker 1: start and see me clips of it and yeah, and
Speaker 1: I have a new actual dance program on my website
Speaker 1: Cheryl Dashburg dot com. Body language has a lot to
Speaker 1: do with somatic and like releasing the trauma out of
Speaker 1: your body through movement and lots of up and coming.
Speaker 1: I would say stuff that I shouldn't talk about yet,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just love podcasting. It really is, do
Speaker 1: you guys? Love it is is like a new world
Speaker 1: for you. Like it's so different.
Speaker 3: Right, We've been in studio with you at a TV
Speaker 3: studio before and we were never able to have a
Speaker 3: conversation the way we just had.
Speaker 1: Isn't it nice? It's like really, I mean honest, I
Speaker 1: feel like I just had a therapy session. I'm going
Speaker 1: to see my therapist on Friday. Like we should just
Speaker 1: do one session, not too because we already knocked one
Speaker 1: out right, love it free therapy. Yes, thank you guys
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you