Speaker 1: Are you leave then? I you wanta way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way we want to be there.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 1: time and a turmanol.
Speaker 2: And gay ad.
Speaker 3: We want to send you off inside.
Speaker 1: We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
Speaker 1: We scared?
Speaker 2: Or was it fine?
Speaker 1: Malforn?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride.
Speaker 2: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 2: This is Chris Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgarath. We're
Speaker 2: on the road with fresh clean windows.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Chris just busted ass cleaning these windows.
Speaker 2: That's the most labor I've done in weeks.
Speaker 1: Are you exhausted?
Speaker 2: My back, my neck, my crack, all of them, all,
Speaker 2: the all of my nooks, everything. I'm sweaty. You used
Speaker 2: it all my Yeah, I can feel it, but I'm
Speaker 2: I'm glad I did it and then too. The wipers
Speaker 2: Are the wipers the problem? It seems like the wipers
Speaker 2: added dirt.
Speaker 1: Nothing's hoping.
Speaker 2: Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1: I have a very hands off approach to almost every
Speaker 1: element of my life. And it shows. And this is
Speaker 1: just one where you know, I leave my car parked
Speaker 1: outside in the driveway and then different things happen to it,
Speaker 1: like dust and sap and different things, and it creates
Speaker 1: a problem that I don't think about until the next
Speaker 1: time I get in the car.
Speaker 2: I feel like my problems with the spotting on my car,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna call it spotting.
Speaker 1: I mean something else to girls.
Speaker 2: But yes, yes, it started when I'm thirteen, ry early,
Speaker 2: when I was driving all this spotting and it's something
Speaker 2: is dripping from my roof and it is a roof
Speaker 2: of a garage made of a cement foundation, so there's
Speaker 2: not a lot I can do.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's kind of a pain.
Speaker 2: So it's old residue and dirt from the nineteen thirties
Speaker 2: locked into that cement leaking down on like ghost it's
Speaker 2: it's ghostly.
Speaker 1: Spots onto your windshield.
Speaker 2: Yes, just historic. There's a history there.
Speaker 1: There's pieces of Ala Fera Street are in there.
Speaker 2: Yes, early early, the people that first built downtown Los Angeles.
Speaker 2: They're sweat and tears, Yeah, covering my car.
Speaker 1: That must you have to get that off there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's probably bad for the paint.
Speaker 1: But also that's the when something gets onto your windshield.
Speaker 1: It's the last thing you're prepared to deal with when
Speaker 1: you got into your car, unless you thought about it beforehand.
Speaker 1: Of course I never do, and brought it out with
Speaker 1: you because you're now out of the house, usually kind
Speaker 1: of far away from where your supplies would be.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Uh, maybe this is an argument for building a little
Speaker 1: shelf in the garage with stuff on it that could
Speaker 1: fix that. Do you already have that?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: Did you build it yourself?
Speaker 2: I do? I did build it myself. It is not
Speaker 2: weight bearing at all. I used the wrong L shaped
Speaker 2: arm shelve.
Speaker 1: So you only have very light paper towels on there.
Speaker 2: Yes, I have one bottle of rainax and some break
Speaker 2: fluid that are making that's making it sag, so I
Speaker 2: can't add to anything else.
Speaker 1: Just how about a very light sign that says do
Speaker 1: not use Yes? That could help.
Speaker 2: Do not step here? Yes the way, Oh, there's a sign.
Speaker 2: There's a part of an airplane wing that you really
Speaker 2: are not supposed to stand on the rest of it.
Speaker 2: Do a clog dance if you want, but do not
Speaker 2: step here, not near the rudder. No, please, yeah, my,
Speaker 2: my whole I didn't. I didn't do a lot of
Speaker 2: research when I ordered my shelving. I got it from
Speaker 2: the dollar store. And that sounds like a joke, but
Speaker 2: they had a lot of Hey, did you just move
Speaker 2: into an apartment? And you know, outrageous paint rollers and
Speaker 2: and the trays are in every ninety nine cents at
Speaker 2: this place. Of course they closed it. It was too
Speaker 2: convenient for Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: They said it's too cheap and easy for Chris.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I don't. I don't take care of my
Speaker 2: car either. I'm also hands off.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think in Los Angeles after a while,
Speaker 1: because there is so much Hey, listener, let us know
Speaker 1: if this is the most boring conversation we've ever had,
Speaker 1: we'd love to hear it.
Speaker 2: And that second from me too. And then I want
Speaker 2: you to start pointing fingers.
Speaker 1: Well, and don't point until I make this point.
Speaker 2: What the thing I was about to say, Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: we redeem it after five minutes.
Speaker 1: We are creating the fodder upon which we improv Yes,
Speaker 1: But I was going to say, in Los Angeles, there
Speaker 1: is a layer of dust on your car every morning
Speaker 1: when it is not dusty, because that's the level of
Speaker 1: kind of like air pollution and shit that's always floating
Speaker 1: around where you can wash your car, and like, if
Speaker 1: you're black, you will see dust the next day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so everything feels a little bit pointless, and I think
Speaker 1: it after a while people are just like, really, who cares?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And if you're in your car, at least you're
Speaker 2: being protected by this smog dust. Stay in your cars.
Speaker 2: It's the only place safe to protect your lung.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 2: Sure, it's also the problem causer. It's a real chicken
Speaker 2: and egg thing.
Speaker 1: Well, but here's the problem finisher.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Get into your car, Get back in your car. There's
Speaker 1: a ninety night Sun store for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet see. They They mostly have can goods
Speaker 2: at those ones. This was an independent Oh yeah, Are
Speaker 2: you a blue collar type guy? Do you do a
Speaker 2: lot of the occasional laboring? Do you clean windows for friends? That?
Speaker 2: That was the place by my house?
Speaker 1: Huh?
Speaker 2: Yeah. There wasn't a lot of food food food.
Speaker 1: Would you say to get food?
Speaker 2: I tete a lot of cuisine from other lands, and
Speaker 2: I say food food. And also sometimes I leave my
Speaker 2: windows dirty because it's a butterfly and it got squished
Speaker 2: and I want to keep it there in memoriam, like
Speaker 2: an open casket.
Speaker 1: Now, how long would you mourn a butterfly on your windshield?
Speaker 1: Would you? Would that be a day?
Speaker 2: Three weeks, monarch, six weeks? And a moth? I still
Speaker 2: even people apparently moths are ugly. Ooh, they're gross. It's
Speaker 2: like a pigeon's compared to doves. They're the same.
Speaker 1: Not true.
Speaker 2: I love a good moth. Absolutely, I see one, I'm like,
Speaker 2: enjoy my sweaters. You deserve it. Yeah, eat a hole,
Speaker 2: eat a hole in my pocket.
Speaker 1: It is weird. The first time I had moths and
Speaker 1: started realizing that that's the reason I was starting to
Speaker 1: get holes in my sweaters and sometimes expensive like a
Speaker 1: cashmere sweater, where it's like, wait what, I can't wear
Speaker 1: this right now? And then it's like to finally trace
Speaker 1: it back and be like, oh, that's not a cartoon, right,
Speaker 1: That's really a thing you should try to prevent. It's
Speaker 1: the weirdest experience.
Speaker 2: I really did. It's funny, as said cartoons, I really
Speaker 2: thought moths only eight cartoon sweaters. Yeah, they are alive
Speaker 2: and well, and they're in this plane of.
Speaker 1: Existence, and I think if you get because this is
Speaker 1: also the part of this whatever show we're doing now
Speaker 1: where this is the conversation we have. You can get
Speaker 1: like cedar chips and put them in your closet or
Speaker 1: place whatever your spaces that has moths, and the cedar
Speaker 1: chips will make them leave you alone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we all know mothballs are just a little that.
Speaker 2: It's a punchline at this point. It's the smell of
Speaker 2: an old person.
Speaker 1: Yes, And also the smell is so bad it's kind
Speaker 1: of like I'd rather have a hole in my sweater.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That have people avoiding me right and being like I
Speaker 1: can't be called grandma again.
Speaker 2: It hurts me even more than it hurts you. I am,
Speaker 2: I have some pretty exciting news.
Speaker 1: Oh I've you know, but you're like, let's get all
Speaker 1: the dust chit chat out of the way.
Speaker 2: Yes, mos are fuzzy. Butterflies in conclusion, memorialize their deaths,
Speaker 2: especially when you're the car murderer. Next subject, I have
Speaker 2: a menu item named after me?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Where super sweet tattoo. I've never had coffee there
Speaker 2: because I thought, oh, you have to be getting a tattoo.
Speaker 2: I'm wrong. Okay, it's a coffee shop right by my
Speaker 2: house and they have a lemon cold brew drink now
Speaker 2: called the Fairbanks. But this is one that I think
Speaker 2: I was gonna get one for you, but I didn't
Speaker 2: have a little cooler. I just put some ice packs
Speaker 2: in there cooler. I'm like, won't that be fine if
Speaker 2: I comment with the Fairbank? Everage it's called the fair
Speaker 2: Bank have been like the lawn at the celebrity cemetery,
Speaker 2: the Fairbanks. The fair Banks, Yeah, very official sounding, but
Speaker 2: it's a lemon meringue cream like a foam that is
Speaker 2: in a cold brew with a little candied lemon wedge.
Speaker 2: What did something just fly at us?
Speaker 1: It was just a newspaper. But there is a cop
Speaker 1: up ahead that's doing that thing where they drive back
Speaker 1: and forth so we can't go faster than.
Speaker 2: Oh that's I will never understand what that is.
Speaker 1: It's them slowing the traffic down because there's something ahead
Speaker 1: that they need to make sure everyone isn't just barreling
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 2: Well, it's absolutely horrifying when, like me, you used to
Speaker 2: go do comedy and have a few drinks and then
Speaker 2: you're driving home at two in the morning, even though
Speaker 2: you know your blood alcohol level is at a legal limit.
Speaker 2: You probably shouldn't be in the car, and then all
Speaker 2: of a sudden they're going back and forth, and all
Speaker 2: these guilty, scared people are just driving timidly behind them, like.
Speaker 1: Yep, I can adjust down to forty five. That's no
Speaker 1: big deal to my drunken brain.
Speaker 2: But if it's a traffic thing, why do they do
Speaker 2: it at two in the morning. That's why I understand.
Speaker 1: It isn't always a traffic thing. Sometimes it's because there's
Speaker 1: an accident, or like one time, it was because for us,
Speaker 1: I think there's another piece of paper.
Speaker 2: Are you sure that policeman isn't throwing newspapers? I think
Speaker 2: it's a hijacked car, and that's just someone wildly yelling
Speaker 2: print is dead. It's what it is.
Speaker 1: And this is the funniest thing about Los Angeles are
Speaker 1: a really good one. The reason he's doing it like
Speaker 1: that is because if he doesn't do it like that,
Speaker 1: people will try to pass him, because this is Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: somewhere on the one thirty four. Wow, so he is listener,
Speaker 1: We've got a highway patrolman in an suv doing a serpentine.
Speaker 1: That is so the s's are so sharp, yeah, that
Speaker 1: it looks like he's trying to act crazy.
Speaker 2: He's turning and almost coming back the same direction. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Times, he needs to know that we're all in this
Speaker 1: same page that we have to right now. We're going
Speaker 1: fourteen miles an hour, Yeah, on the one thirty four,
Speaker 1: which is unprecedented, never happens. Yeah, but something is ahead
Speaker 1: that He's like, we can't just have all these people
Speaker 1: driving into this mess.
Speaker 2: I also, don't you think, though, he's just having fun
Speaker 2: right now? Put me thinks he's just.
Speaker 1: Giggling aside from the shape of the fun.
Speaker 2: Well he did it. Now it's well, none, we have
Speaker 2: a vehicle coming ahead. He From what I understand, a
Speaker 2: car is coming this way.
Speaker 1: No, is a high speed chase.
Speaker 2: I hope it's a high speed chase on the right
Speaker 2: side of the road. Not that I don't want. I
Speaker 2: don't want anyone to get hurt.
Speaker 1: I certainly don't want us to fucking get hurt. Oh wait, sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna roll this window back up.
Speaker 2: I really think he said we have a vehicle coming
Speaker 2: up this way.
Speaker 1: I hope he goes up and takes the hit for us,
Speaker 1: because I don't want to just be sitting here.
Speaker 2: Well, there's several cars in front of us. Don't worry,
Speaker 2: they'll get it.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm leaving a at least two car in front
Speaker 1: of me and the tesla ahead of us.
Speaker 2: I guess now I'll pray. Please Lord, let the other
Speaker 2: cars get hurt before us. How about that's all most people?
Speaker 1: Please? Lord. It's me Chris Fairbanks from trampoline camp or
Speaker 1: whatever it was called. I might be combining a couple
Speaker 1: of year childhood stories.
Speaker 2: No, well, you've created a childhood I wish existed trampoline camp.
Speaker 2: I'll go there tomorrow.
Speaker 1: There is one you can go to that's like a
Speaker 1: trampoline place where all the floors are trampolines and you
Speaker 1: just go and do that all day.
Speaker 2: Dear sweet baby Lord, if I make it through this
Speaker 2: oncoming car, please let me go to adult trampoline.
Speaker 1: Camp as a reward for surviving this oncoming car situation.
Speaker 2: Yes, I will deserve a reward. Well, I guess we're waiting.
Speaker 2: We are waiting for I mean, this happened the other day.
Speaker 2: I was watching the news. It was a hilarious. Another announcement.
Speaker 1: I heard something.
Speaker 2: Oh there was a wrecked car. It is not a
Speaker 2: car coming our way. Oh see, because the windows were up.
Speaker 2: I didn't quite hear. Okay, that was almost a very
Speaker 2: exciting episode of do you need it?
Speaker 1: I was legit scared when I thought a car was
Speaker 1: coming this way. I was like, if we just get
Speaker 1: into sitting here get smashed into, I'm gonna get really upset.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well you do want to switch up cars this?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, uh yeah, there was just a car wrecked.
Speaker 2: I guess they just plucked a car up and now
Speaker 2: we're all just driving in memoriam of that car.
Speaker 1: Why is everything in memoriam?
Speaker 2: I don't know. It seems like a slow funeral cavalcade.
Speaker 1: Here's a here's a third. Oh, there's the tow truck.
Speaker 1: I see. Oh, here's the other memoriam. On my way
Speaker 1: home from the getting my teeth clean on Monday, I
Speaker 1: believe driving down Ventura Boulevard right by Laurel Canyon, like
Speaker 1: you know, the big crop intersection.
Speaker 2: Sure, there was a car flip though, like on its
Speaker 2: back like a turtle.
Speaker 1: Yes, so some kind of accident where the car was
Speaker 1: going fast enough where it hit something and flipped and
Speaker 1: I came upon it. There was people outside, there's people around,
Speaker 1: but there was no services yet. And I watched the
Speaker 1: driver get out of the driver's side of an upside
Speaker 1: down car on ventor.
Speaker 2: You were the first responder? Or did your training kick
Speaker 2: in your father's training?
Speaker 1: No, because I was actually like the fifth responder, and
Speaker 1: the fifth responder just gets to go home with like
Speaker 1: a clean conscience, because what am I going to do
Speaker 1: that's any more than what those people?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what I usually do is fumble with my phone
Speaker 2: until I spot someone else that's already on their phone,
Speaker 2: and then I'm like, well, I did a good deed today.
Speaker 1: They don't need fifteen nine one one calls. No fact,
Speaker 1: that doesn't help at all.
Speaker 2: Do not flood the dispatch center please with your calls.
Speaker 1: In memoriam of the dispatcher.
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, it's okay. Well I could use a hand here,
Speaker 2: stick your arm out, Jesus, I'm so sorry. There we go.
Speaker 1: I went to break and my flip flop got caught
Speaker 1: underneath the break. That scared me. Oh wow, what's happening?
Speaker 1: What is Are we in danger? On this episode?
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know how some Jesus, Oh, your
Speaker 2: car keeps yelling at us, that red car. Oh it's
Speaker 2: it just highlighted another prius. Is this like a social
Speaker 2: media thing in built into your tesla. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 2: know another tesla.
Speaker 1: Another Tesla. Or it's like, hey there's a Prius, stay
Speaker 1: away from that Prius.
Speaker 2: Yeah, lowly Prius. It's a new electric car in town.
Speaker 2: Get real fashion hybrid. Yeah I am. I'm not a
Speaker 2: flip flop guy. You know that about me?
Speaker 5: I do.
Speaker 2: I'm mainly because I'm I'm very scared of having my
Speaker 2: feet exposed. I've kifted, kick, kiffed. What is wrong with me?
Speaker 2: I've kicked many a coffee table. My household had many
Speaker 2: knobby wooded redwood furnitures that are made by my dad,
Speaker 2: and I would kick them at a high rate of speed,
Speaker 2: very excited. Usually when I was happy, yep, like yay,
Speaker 2: I gotta go to trampoline camp.
Speaker 1: Kick bare toe, broken toe? I trampline camps canceled, there are.
Speaker 2: It's been so painful that I'm like, well, what is
Speaker 2: it like to have a broken toe, because I don't
Speaker 2: I've never kicked and broken a toe, but it is
Speaker 2: that thing. And I remember seeing my sister kick the
Speaker 2: same tables and just you immediately collapse and lay there
Speaker 2: in silence, and everyone gets quiet because you know how
Speaker 2: painful it is and oh man, stubb and toes and
Speaker 2: that flip flops are just like, hey, here's my toes
Speaker 2: ready for the stubborn. There's no roof, It's just a
Speaker 2: slippery floor with only one stabilizing unit. And that's the
Speaker 2: thing between your toes. And I don't like even even
Speaker 2: if my socks are between my toes, I can't leave
Speaker 2: the house.
Speaker 1: So you can't. Really, there's really no world where you
Speaker 1: could wear a flip flop.
Speaker 2: No, what if I have to run? What if I
Speaker 2: all of a sudden it's time to go, don't put
Speaker 2: your flip flops under your armpit.
Speaker 1: Well, you don't always have to run those. Sometimes you
Speaker 1: can dip over into a corner and not run. Let
Speaker 1: people run past you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as I'm hidden, I have to be
Speaker 2: in a dark corner, no one one seeing me take
Speaker 2: my flip flops off.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying as as a compulsive flip flop wear,
Speaker 1: and I also have gnarly toes, and it much like
Speaker 1: my windshield. I'm like, who cares truly, But I had
Speaker 1: this thing where a couple days ago it got a
Speaker 1: little bit colder, which in LA it's like, oh, the
Speaker 1: season's changing and then that's fall.
Speaker 2: It's concluded.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's already over, back to eighty five. But I
Speaker 1: was really bummed that I had to put I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm too cold to wear flip flops. I have to
Speaker 1: put on socks and I have to make this transition
Speaker 1: into covered shoes. And I was very upset about it.
Speaker 1: Felt weird. It's like that thing where you know, you
Speaker 1: wear your bathing suit all summer, you wear shorts all summer,
Speaker 1: and then you have to put long pants on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it really is a weird adjustment. That's how I
Speaker 1: feel about flip flops because I wear them so much
Speaker 1: and they're just so kind of convenient, and the ones
Speaker 1: I wear are super comfy always. Yeah, I just don't
Speaker 1: want to wear anything.
Speaker 2: It is the reason I have my slip on shoes,
Speaker 2: like a van slip on that's got the same I
Speaker 2: just slide into those.
Speaker 1: Yep SAMELI same vibe.
Speaker 2: They will fly off. I don't lie really don't understand them.
Speaker 2: At the beach, it's like, oh, let me like collect
Speaker 2: sand for me to continually walk on.
Speaker 1: Well, but then you just pick your foot up and
Speaker 1: that sand goes away.
Speaker 2: Right, You are right about that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been there.
Speaker 2: I've had enough sand filled van slip on to know
Speaker 2: I should be a flip flop man.
Speaker 1: At least at the beach.
Speaker 2: I guess, much like the shoe, my opinion of it,
Speaker 2: I'm a flip flop flip flopper, I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm so sick of you not landing on one side
Speaker 1: of flip flopping or another.
Speaker 2: I'm just like any call me McCarthy because both sides
Speaker 2: of the isle are mad. Oh my god, Yeah, I
Speaker 2: get very political. I did a little research for that one.
Speaker 2: I figured it would come up.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna keep talking about Kevin McCarthy, No, I don't.
Speaker 2: Know much about him.
Speaker 1: I don't either.
Speaker 2: I know more about Kevin McCaffrey's a comic that was
Speaker 2: World Stumbast also loved by Republicans everybody until the show
Speaker 2: was canceled, but still continues to play World Stummist.
Speaker 1: Check it out on Fuel TV or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your fine clip shows.
Speaker 2: Did you know that there's a channel? What's happening? Did
Speaker 2: you know? Think of something? Think of something? There's a channel, Kirk,
Speaker 2: you're talking, people are listening. Keep talking. Fairy X on
Speaker 2: my TV. Within the Samsung device MM without the purchase
Speaker 2: of any plan that just plays this show I've never
Speaker 2: watched called Portlandia. That's I want to talk about now
Speaker 2: because it's funny. Really, I never watched Portlandy. I don't
Speaker 2: know where it was on IFC. When have I had
Speaker 2: the Independent Film Channel? Right?
Speaker 1: I didn't know that still existed.
Speaker 2: It's it's I mean, they're on the show, they're on
Speaker 2: new iPhones and stuff. It seems pretty recent.
Speaker 1: Oh good, Well, did you know I wrote on a
Speaker 1: season of PORTLANDI.
Speaker 2: I didn't know that that. This didn't even Are you
Speaker 2: kidding me?
Speaker 6: No?
Speaker 2: Is that how your pals with Fred? No?
Speaker 1: I knew Fred from early comedy days at Largo. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: kind of before I met him, right before he started
Speaker 1: doing stuff that led him to Centerate Live.
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah, was one of the things where he went
Speaker 2: into a dance studio.
Speaker 1: Yes, I think so. Yeah, when he was just kind
Speaker 1: of doing man on the Street stuff that was so
Speaker 1: good and funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I watched that recently. Well, I'm watching Portlandia.
Speaker 2: I'm ready to laugh at a show that's more than
Speaker 2: ten years old. Yes, some of the episodes, so it is.
Speaker 2: But the clock there is a Golden Girls station. I'm
Speaker 2: just I'm not here to talk about TV, but I've
Speaker 2: been watching it. I'm going to admit that now a
Speaker 2: lot of people watch it. So a lot of people
Speaker 2: right now are like me too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of people are like, You're not the
Speaker 1: only one. But then you're like, but I am the
Speaker 1: only one that waited for a decade to give PORTLANDI
Speaker 1: a chance, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And anyway, there's also a World's Dumbest channel,
Speaker 2: so I can watch how I used to look ten
Speaker 2: years ago exactly, and it's confronting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet it is. Yeah, well, you know the
Speaker 1: thing about it is time passes.
Speaker 2: It is We're on our Earth that is spinning in space,
Speaker 2: and time is made by the Lord in space.
Speaker 1: I said time passes, and you said it is time passes.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 2: It is. See that's an interesting way to look at it,
Speaker 2: because it was, it is and it will.
Speaker 4: Yeah they will never not true time has passed, although
Speaker 4: wait it may who knows, because they you know, there's
Speaker 4: the new Hubble telescope in space that's way more powerful
Speaker 4: and they're seeing way.
Speaker 1: More shit in Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, really cool.
Speaker 1: So this week I've seen a bunch of they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: they just discovered these planets that are not what do
Speaker 1: you call it when you go around a store. They
Speaker 1: don't they're not in an orbit. They're just floating. That's weird.
Speaker 1: They saw that somewhere far far away. And then the
Speaker 1: one I saw this morning is they you know, one
Speaker 1: of those pictures where it's like all the stars and
Speaker 1: it's basically all black with orange little spots. Yes, orange
Speaker 1: hot spots. There was one that was a perfect question
Speaker 1: but it was orange like a star or a planet
Speaker 1: or whatever. Wow, And it was literally a question mark.
Speaker 1: And someone on TikTok was just making a joke about
Speaker 1: it of like I know a sign when I see
Speaker 1: it or whatever. But it is really funny that it's
Speaker 1: like this. I don't know if we're ready for how
Speaker 1: powerful this telescope is, right, or this saddle? I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, the web, Yes, yes, that's that's w EBB. You know,
Speaker 2: I know I know about space and science and politics
Speaker 2: and mom, if you came here to learn, well you
Speaker 2: should probably go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: But yeah, not for learning, but just for chatting. This
Speaker 1: is all shit. You could say at a party that
Speaker 1: unless someone immediately looked it up, they wouldn't know that
Speaker 1: you weren't right about it.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: That's what we're providing. And that's one thing I did
Speaker 2: learn from a Portland episode. All you have to do
Speaker 2: is learn one thing and then drive the conversation to
Speaker 2: that one thing. Yeah, and then continue and then people
Speaker 2: are like, god, you know a lot, but you're really
Speaker 2: secretly getting everyone to talk about what you want to
Speaker 2: talk about, like a real conversational sociopath.
Speaker 1: I have to say, of course, Fred Armison is truly
Speaker 1: one of my favorite performers and favorite comedians and number
Speaker 1: one Kerry Brownstein also not only hilarious but in one
Speaker 1: one of my favorite bands of all time, so like cool.
Speaker 2: Truly cool after watching. As a side note, yes, I
Speaker 2: listened to a lot of Slater Kenny after watching, just
Speaker 2: to get the.
Speaker 1: Full yes taste test. Yes of wow, these guys have
Speaker 1: it all. But then on top of that, Jonathan Kreisl
Speaker 1: was the EP and the director and he is also
Speaker 1: how do I know his name? Kreisl? The he's the
Speaker 1: EP of Baskets. I've talked about him a lot because
Speaker 1: he's like one of my favorite bosses ever and.
Speaker 2: Like he directed my commercial for HR.
Speaker 1: Yes, he's he does. He's a great director, okay, but
Speaker 1: he's also a great creative executive producer and you know
Speaker 1: guide and he really like it's the three of them
Speaker 1: that made that show. I think like gave it the
Speaker 1: kind of sensibility.
Speaker 2: That it had. Yeah, he's like a calming presence. He's like,
Speaker 2: goof around, be silly, this doesn't matter, right, he was
Speaker 2: really if I am if that, I'm pretty sure that
Speaker 2: was the guy. Did he direct a lot of baskets?
Speaker 1: Yes, he's yeah, and he also has I like that guy.
Speaker 1: He has kind of crazy hair. Yes, yeah, that's him.
Speaker 1: He's the best.
Speaker 2: Well I do believe he knows about this podcast, Yes
Speaker 2: he does, and that podcast that I've done with you
Speaker 2: the whole time. So thank you. And I think that's
Speaker 2: why I think I'm thanking you now for getting me
Speaker 2: that H and R block commercial. Oh think so yeah,
Speaker 2: I think so.
Speaker 1: Well you're welcome then doubly yeah, I mean, but also,
Speaker 1: I mean that's okay fine, But I would say, here's
Speaker 1: the thing is people listen to their friends podcasts all
Speaker 1: the time, and it doesn't mean they cast the other
Speaker 1: person on the podcast anything. So that's you can put
Speaker 1: that right back to yourself.
Speaker 2: That wasn't nepotism, right right, I nailed the fuck out
Speaker 2: of that audition. That's right? What that was?
Speaker 1: You're undusted right now? Did you realize that?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, listen to my voice. Should I do more characters?
Speaker 2: I can do characters. Okay, you're gonna hear another Italian.
Speaker 1: Chef I do Wait? Are you arguing or are you
Speaker 1: doing an impression?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Someone put the sauce in the wrong fucking botty bush.
Speaker 2: My guy, he's a chef, but he also you know,
Speaker 2: you don't want to mess with them. No, no, no, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, well I guess I'll wait for casting to call.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh, and they will once the actor's strike
Speaker 1: is over, we should delineate. Actors strike is not over.
Speaker 1: They have to settle with the actors. They have to
Speaker 1: give the actors what they gave the writers. They have
Speaker 1: to start respecting the people that make things right.
Speaker 2: More and ran right now, what we're what's happening now, folks?
Speaker 2: Is there where there were allowed to go into pre production?
Speaker 2: So the writers correct me and my mom writing on
Speaker 2: things now and then and the writers are settled there
Speaker 2: contra Yeah, they're getting into rooms together and and then
Speaker 2: soon they're gonna call Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: That's right. The auditions are going to kick back up
Speaker 1: and they'll be like drive to Santa Monica. Pretend you're
Speaker 1: talking to a squirrel. It's gonna take you four hours
Speaker 1: for one line.
Speaker 2: I forgot. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go with the famous person I forgot.
Speaker 2: That's how i'd see. I'm just gonna act like everything's
Speaker 2: the way it was the past few months. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 2: zero expectation.
Speaker 1: Well you never know that because we put in a
Speaker 1: lot of episodes. So maybe people are like, since recent
Speaker 1: episodes are just like, I just have to work with
Speaker 1: this person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe that is happening. You never know what people
Speaker 2: are thinking of you.
Speaker 1: I don't know what anyone's thinking or feeling of you.
Speaker 2: Let's see of your car as another friendship with this car,
Speaker 2: it did just say hi. It was a little bumper wink.
Speaker 1: It said high in a nice tone, not like the
Speaker 1: beep beep beep we got before. Hi, friend, Hi, you
Speaker 1: should sell me soon before. I don't have any value, Karen,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm hearing. You should probably trade the sense
Speaker 1: for something else. Did you realize there's some real problems.
Speaker 1: I do that too, the owner of this company.
Speaker 2: When I'm giving bad news.
Speaker 1: I get a little higher. It's hard not to go
Speaker 1: up here with it.
Speaker 2: I really like this car, but don't you think it's
Speaker 2: given the current blood?
Speaker 1: Don't you think the fact that he's a crypto fascist.
Speaker 2: Crypto fascist that has a nice ring to it.
Speaker 1: I actually don't know what that means.
Speaker 2: I know it's perfect. It's buzzwords. I like him. I'm
Speaker 2: buzz'm we're bees baby.
Speaker 1: Oh it's another character.
Speaker 2: Put the sauce down.
Speaker 1: Who dropped that bag of drywall?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was gonna be really usable.
Speaker 1: Who collected the drywall and then dropped it in the street?
Speaker 2: And that's the bad stuff. I could tell by its
Speaker 2: fibrousness that it was a mesothelioma causing drywall. The can
Speaker 2: that you cannot clean up yourself.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. My grandfather did was a dry
Speaker 1: waller and a plasterer.
Speaker 2: Is he no longer with us?
Speaker 1: He is no longer?
Speaker 2: Was it lung based? It was not okay?
Speaker 1: He got to die of old age.
Speaker 2: You know, I wanted to be a doctor.
Speaker 1: No, I do know. And you love to talk about
Speaker 1: doctor things.
Speaker 2: Dude, I love on the inside of our bodies is
Speaker 2: the blood and skeleton, Karen, aren't you interested?
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen that thing? The bodies exhibit where
Speaker 1: it's But it's basically human bodies without skin, so and
Speaker 1: they're posed to certain things.
Speaker 2: Yes, what's your what's your feel about that? I find
Speaker 2: it fascinating, but it's scary. I watched a documentary about
Speaker 2: it and the the artist has a very creepy voice.
Speaker 2: It's it's it seems like, hey, I'm a serial killer
Speaker 2: and I reassemble bodies. But some of them are are
Speaker 2: really cool, but it's hard to look at. It's like
Speaker 2: a skeleton, you know, and the musculatures in front of
Speaker 2: the skeletons like they're separate. There's a well they're yeah,
Speaker 2: not around, not separate, not outside layer, but they'll like
Speaker 2: have a skeleton on the skeleton of a horse and
Speaker 2: then a few feet in front of that as all
Speaker 2: the all the muscles and it's really interesting, but it's.
Speaker 1: Hard to is it though. That's my thing? So Georgia
Speaker 1: just covered this. Yes, the other podcast that I do,
Speaker 1: it's called My Favorite Murder.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard of that.
Speaker 1: Georgia did a story about the Bodies exhibition, and I
Speaker 1: thought it was leading to this big reveal of like,
Speaker 1: but then here's the horrible thing. So from the get
Speaker 1: I was like, I hate this, it's so gross, sort
Speaker 1: of being super like that, and she basically got told
Speaker 1: me when she's like, well, yeah, but it, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's fine. It's still going on today, and I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I thought we were. I thought you were about to
Speaker 1: give some reveal of exactly that like you're saying, because
Speaker 1: I think it is super weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah it is, it is. It's it's amazing, but I
Speaker 2: don't really want to see it. I don't want to
Speaker 2: see it. I've told myself you should go see it.
Speaker 1: No, don't tell yourself that anymore.
Speaker 2: I just like the I don't like the process though.
Speaker 2: Think about that. It's like embalming.
Speaker 6: It's your dead bodies, you know you Okay, So I mean, look,
Speaker 6: I don't want to be you know, mean to people
Speaker 6: who's like this is their passion or something, But why
Speaker 6: is that your passion?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: Like, this is we have so much to be figuring
Speaker 1: out with all our skin on. Why do you want
Speaker 1: to disarticulate human beings? Tons of them? And horses. Horses
Speaker 1: the nicest thing on the planet that almost everybody just
Speaker 1: wants to touch their head and nose. And you want
Speaker 1: to take it apart, skin it and remove the skeletons
Speaker 1: from the.
Speaker 2: Meals like disassembled?
Speaker 1: No thanks, I'd like it assembled always strictly as a rule.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like my horses in one piece. Please, unless
Speaker 2: I'm trying not to be rude at a at a.
Speaker 1: Barbecue or I'm in a costume with a friend. Ah,
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 2: The one in fact just smells their farts all day.
Speaker 2: It's a great cost.
Speaker 1: How does the woman back get that?
Speaker 2: J'all talk about a terrible coin flip to lose? Oh
Speaker 2: the back of the horse costume? Okay?
Speaker 1: Can I just tell you sidebar. I was shopping on
Speaker 1: Amazon today and I needed to get something on there.
Speaker 1: It was the detergent for the washing machine that I
Speaker 1: had to get because it's the only one that fit
Speaker 1: in the space in my house and so now I
Speaker 1: have to get specialty detergent whatever. I have to order
Speaker 1: it on there. I clicked on the button that said
Speaker 1: best sellers just because I was like, what's this going
Speaker 1: to involve?
Speaker 2: Al, let's go to best sellers.
Speaker 1: I've never seen clicked on it before. And the first
Speaker 1: thing on the best seller page she lost both her babies.
Speaker 2: Oh there's just a lady that she seems disappointed, but
Speaker 2: not as disappointed as I would be. Where did she
Speaker 2: go with those babies? And where are the babies now?
Speaker 1: She could work for a baby gifts store. And that's
Speaker 1: somebody just ordered that and she's walking it to their house.
Speaker 2: That's like a carriage version of the horse, because one
Speaker 2: of those babies has to be in back. That's right. Anyway.
Speaker 1: The best seller, the best the number one thing on
Speaker 1: the bestseller page today was a coin flip. It's a
Speaker 1: coin that you can use to make decisions, right, So
Speaker 1: there was one that just said yes no. But then
Speaker 1: there was another one that literally had a sexy lady
Speaker 1: in a bikini carved out on it. But it looks
Speaker 1: like it's fake copper.
Speaker 2: It's a best seller.
Speaker 1: It's the number one best seller. Number one and two
Speaker 1: were these two coins and it said coin flip decision
Speaker 1: coins or something like that. So one is just a
Speaker 1: yes no coin flip. The other one says I hope
Speaker 1: I get some tail and it's and then it would
Speaker 1: have had a lady in a bikini on it, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, excuse me, where is this selling so great?
Speaker 2: The other side say, but I'll settle for some hat.
Speaker 2: Oh what kind of it? Were you? In a special
Speaker 2: category on Amazon Grandpa's Den? Oh shit?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know what was happening, but I bet
Speaker 1: you that is what it said it had to You
Speaker 1: mustn't think that.
Speaker 2: No, I mean that's the kind of writer's room I
Speaker 2: want to be in.
Speaker 1: Yes, you will. You will be victorious in that writer.
Speaker 2: This is over. It's by eleven o'clock. They're carrying me
Speaker 2: off in my rolling office chair.
Speaker 5: I'm just saying it was so victory is yours? But
Speaker 5: I'm just saying it's so weird. This bikini lady was
Speaker 5: carved out like fucking abe Lincoln. But it's a lady,
Speaker 5: like supposed sexy lady. Like what I just looking at that?
Speaker 5: I stared at it for so long, of like what am.
Speaker 1: I being shown?
Speaker 4: What is this?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Wow? Okay, Donnalley found it?
Speaker 1: Am I right about it being on the bestseller's page?
Speaker 2: Well, the only other thing is attention. Let's flip a coin.
Speaker 2: It has to be a coin flipping category. Yeah, it's
Speaker 2: I'm telling you it is a sultry This is a
Speaker 2: front her. Her nipples are blurred out because they can't
Speaker 2: show it. Yeah, the the real coin, you see nipples.
Speaker 2: This had to be This coin was X rated and
Speaker 2: had to be edited.
Speaker 1: Wait in the description, does it say that the other
Speaker 1: side says anything about it? Well, it says heads. I
Speaker 1: get tail tails, I get head. Yeah, you want it?
Speaker 1: You want it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, just good job, that's I just have a gift.
Speaker 2: I have a gift. Uh yeah, that's well. The funny
Speaker 2: thing is when for to know that there's nothing going
Speaker 2: on a funny business when it comes to coin flipping.
Speaker 2: That's why you use a quarter because everyone knows it
Speaker 2: hasn't been tampered with. Yes, no one shows up with
Speaker 2: a little burlap sack. Oh don't worry, guys. I have
Speaker 2: a special coin for flipping that's ten minutes to everyone
Speaker 2: testing it and biting.
Speaker 1: It and going, this is magnetized. So you're trying to
Speaker 1: rip this off?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how you. Using that coin would get you
Speaker 2: murdered at most casinos.
Speaker 1: I mean, also, why are you flipping coins at casinos?
Speaker 1: Let the professionals handle it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Are you the best seller? That means that everyone
Speaker 2: is just completely indecisive.
Speaker 1: But also I have to say not the Bikini Lady one.
Speaker 1: But I was like, well, that's kind of a dumb,
Speaker 1: funny gift to give to people, right, if you feel like,
Speaker 1: what do you get the guy that has everything? Right,
Speaker 1: sexy decision coin? Yeah, I bring one for Bridger if
Speaker 1: I ever do. I said no gifts again.
Speaker 2: Yeah. If you do know someone that needs a lot
Speaker 2: of things though and really has nothing, do not buy
Speaker 2: them that coin. It is only for somebody that has
Speaker 2: everything already.
Speaker 1: Wait on aly, sorry, but how much was that coin?
Speaker 1: And wait, I think I'm turning on.
Speaker 2: Well, see that's the other thing. A quarter is as
Speaker 2: far as it still is only costs a cord it is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, quarters are still twenty five cents.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's just crazy to me, what a worthless
Speaker 2: thing to purchase?
Speaker 1: That isn't that good?
Speaker 2: But I will never I like anguishing over decisions. I
Speaker 2: love that it's hard for me, but I would not
Speaker 2: feel good about any decision if a coin decided it.
Speaker 1: What about a sexy lady coin?
Speaker 2: If a sexy lady came over and said, listen, we
Speaker 2: have to make some decisions about your life. Enough of
Speaker 2: the shit and I'm not going to wear clothes, and
Speaker 2: I'd be like, all right, if you can sit, let's
Speaker 2: start with my taxes.
Speaker 1: She is a really sexy CPA that doesn't wear clothes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for your it's kind of like the the Topless Maids service. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they have here in Los Angeles for reasons that I
Speaker 1: baffle me to this day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what a scary job every day, horrifying. Just they
Speaker 2: are definitely expect funny business, yeah, for real, the kind.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make you laugh, the unfunny business.
Speaker 2: Yes, serious business. I love this neighborhood.
Speaker 1: This is like, isn't it nice?
Speaker 2: They're like mini look at that mini house. Yep. There's
Speaker 2: a street in Orange County, in Costa Mesa or Newport Beach.
Speaker 2: I remember I used to drive by it a lot
Speaker 2: that is houses for little people and then have little doors. Sure,
Speaker 2: it's like a whole community.
Speaker 1: That's cool. Yeah and fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And they're beautiful houses.
Speaker 1: And it's that was specifically built so that finally they
Speaker 1: don't have to be in people's world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a shorter house everything, the doors, the windows
Speaker 2: are lower.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait a minute, is this a street
Speaker 2: for little people thinking I was making a hilarious.
Speaker 1: Joke or independent children. There she is, yay.
Speaker 2: Posy, look at that speaking of skeletons, at least that
Speaker 2: one doesn't have his skin.
Speaker 1: That is, she was pointing of what side of the
Speaker 1: car should I get into. I thought you were pointing
Speaker 1: going get in here. Oh it's this house.
Speaker 2: It's one of the we're switching cars. I love what
Speaker 2: you've done this. Thank you, came the spectrum. How'd you
Speaker 2: do that? Did you do that yourself?
Speaker 1: My friend Jenny did it? Who from Bad Cop, Bad
Speaker 1: Cop Delightful punk band. She's an artist too, and she
Speaker 1: makes amazing cakes and she did it for me.
Speaker 2: Wow, it's really cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: Drink abaja blast and watched it happen? Did you see
Speaker 3: the I have two inflatable eyeballs in the front of
Speaker 3: my house. You should drive out.
Speaker 2: Giant skeleton with a little owl. Friend.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, just this week did some Halloween decorating so
Speaker 1: it looks a cooking monster.
Speaker 2: And the railing looks like the tea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, awesome. Yeah, that's really that's an inflatable skeleton too.
Speaker 1: And you have a baby skeleton with a plastic bag
Speaker 1: over its head because it it died, yes, with a
Speaker 1: plastic bag. Yeah, it came like the it came with
Speaker 1: a bag on its head, like just from home depot.
Speaker 7: And then I was like, well, let's just not take
Speaker 7: the bag off, because I think it's tell a little
Speaker 7: story about exactly the We have a little little little
Speaker 7: kids in the neighborhood that love the skeletons a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Some other the other night family walked by and this
Speaker 3: one little boy, he's like maybe four. Every day he
Speaker 3: walks by and he goes, Hi, skeleton to my big
Speaker 3: twelve footer, and he has a a little owl in
Speaker 3: front of him right now, a little like skeleton now
Speaker 3: that I got lost year for Christmas because people just
Speaker 3: buy me bones.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now they know you love them, they know me
Speaker 1: we have We're gonna ask Brandy about her opinion, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: but they.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, who's your what's your favorite part
Speaker 3: of the new setup? He said, I like the owl?
Speaker 3: And I was like thatwel doesn't have a name. Do
Speaker 3: you want to name him? And he goes, okay, hold
Speaker 3: on Owli Skeleton is his name. And then his parents
Speaker 3: both looked a little disappointed.
Speaker 2: Yeah too, Yeah, that's like I put him up for adoptions.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh we there shall hope.
Speaker 1: Here he's he was under a lot of pressure though.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, you take your time. That's the first pitch, buddy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever you want to think about it, Olie Skeleton.
Speaker 1: Just like, I don't know what do you what would
Speaker 1: make you guys happy? I don't know, yeah, right, like
Speaker 1: you Carl whatever, Yeah, Carl, Carl would have been great.
Speaker 2: That kid I want to hang out with.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know it's Brandy, Yeah, it's me, she's here anybody.
Speaker 1: So we were just talking about the bodies exhibition. Oh yes,
Speaker 1: what's let's hear your opinion about the body's exposition. I've
Speaker 1: seen the bodies. I've seen it. You've gone to Vegas? Yes,
Speaker 1: I was in Vegas and it was like.
Speaker 3: For free at the Tropicana one year, okay, and I
Speaker 3: was like, well, what am I gonna do? Let me
Speaker 3: that's it was like the hotel next to me, so
Speaker 3: like we go see it. I did not enjoy my
Speaker 3: time there because isn't there like there's a weird rumor
Speaker 3: that Uh, it's like bodies that are like they weren't donated.
Speaker 3: They were like prisoners or like, yes.
Speaker 2: Whoa see, that's exactly the kind of nefarious background I
Speaker 2: wanted to hear about this guy because he's so scary.
Speaker 2: He's like sounds like Joseph Mangela or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that makes and they like seeing them person
Speaker 3: They it's like you've seen we've all I'm going to
Speaker 3: make big generalization, we've all seen somebody in a muscle onesie, right, No,
Speaker 3: maybe not, maybe that's just me.
Speaker 2: A muscle ones.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know like a like a like a like
Speaker 3: a you know, like a zip up like a little
Speaker 3: suit with like a muscle muscula chair on it.
Speaker 8: Oh sure, yeah, I got you like a good good
Speaker 8: body yes, yeah, charge yeah yeah, don't you mean that
Speaker 8: like the guy that there was a character on Conan
Speaker 8: early days Conan where he was like, I'm mister goodbody.
Speaker 1: Yes there's yeah, yeah, based.
Speaker 2: On a model you could get when I was young,
Speaker 2: it was like all the organs and then you glue
Speaker 2: it together, Chris, and that was mister exactly. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 2: we got we've all seen that.
Speaker 1: We've all seen that.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have seen, but to see the to see
Speaker 3: the real thing is a little it's hard because like
Speaker 3: their belly buttons are there, and like they cut like
Speaker 3: they're they're there's a few parts that there's skill skin
Speaker 3: and a belly button, there's a little bit of skin.
Speaker 1: There's like a little bit of skin.
Speaker 3: Around the eyes, and it's just you're like, oh, this
Speaker 3: isn't I don't actually want to see this right. It's
Speaker 3: like I don't think i'd be good at taxidermy, and
Speaker 3: I don't, like, I never wanted to dissect a frog,
Speaker 3: but like, you know, bones, once they've been bleached and
Speaker 3: clean interesting to me.
Speaker 2: Just not with all the extra I was confronted, and
Speaker 2: mainly my mom was confronted because she was a member
Speaker 2: of PEDA and everything. We had to dissect frogs in
Speaker 2: science class, like in eighth grade, and I think her
Speaker 2: and I decided together that I wouldn't be cutting on frogs. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I was like, okay, let's work for me, I guess,
Speaker 2: but it's actually interested in drawing them. So I just drew.
Speaker 2: For people that couldn't draw, I would draw their frogs.
Speaker 2: So I was like the house frog drawer nic. But
Speaker 2: it got me out of cutting because it was really
Speaker 2: intense that they make. First of all, that they hand
Speaker 2: out Scalpel, still right, They of course probably don't do
Speaker 2: that anymore. I did such a They couldn't. I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you.
Speaker 2: I don't know that. There's no way I have the
Speaker 2: kids and be like, ah, this is I refuse.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's real.
Speaker 2: It is really disturbing. But in the late eighties I
Speaker 2: was the only kid that was like, I don't like this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like that you chose to create instead of destroy.
Speaker 2: Chris, Yes, that's true.
Speaker 1: I will draw things and bring more the world. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they like I would just like to that parallel,
Speaker 1: which I understand you're just kind of trying to make
Speaker 1: that point. But these are people, and that's my thing
Speaker 1: is just like that idea that this person who wanted
Speaker 1: to do this idea is like everybody's gonna want to
Speaker 1: look at this. And he was right in a way
Speaker 1: because they've been doing those displays for years. But I'm like,
Speaker 1: my thing is like, what the fuck is anybody going
Speaker 1: to pay money to look at that for when it's
Speaker 1: I can't I can't imagine. It isn't disturbing for most people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was not fun. Me and my brother went and
Speaker 1: we were like we could gamble instead and it was free.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was free.
Speaker 1: I was like, I would never would.
Speaker 3: Have paid for this, but it was like if it's
Speaker 3: you know, it was in like the I imagine, like
Speaker 3: your corpse is in like the lobby of a casino.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: God, yes, I very much think about I just I
Speaker 3: want to be burned because I listened to a Dan
Speaker 3: Carlin's hardcore history about the fall of the Roman Empire
Speaker 3: years ago, and there's a few of like I think,
Speaker 3: like Cicero was his enemy is when he died, they
Speaker 3: dragged his body through the streets and like people flew
Speaker 3: through like like feces at it, and then they like
Speaker 3: threw his body to the dogs. And I don't know,
Speaker 3: it upset me so much that I was like, you
Speaker 3: gotta burn me when I'm dead. Not that level of enemies,
Speaker 3: but I'm like the idea that that could happen to
Speaker 3: your body, What are you doing?
Speaker 1: What are you doing that this might be a fear.
Speaker 2: I want to know they're gonna creepate me and then
Speaker 2: just pour my ashes on a pile of shit.
Speaker 3: You can go both ways, ashes of okay with I
Speaker 3: just don't need my foot. There's enough bad pictures of
Speaker 3: me on stage as a comedian. I don't need people
Speaker 3: to be taking even worse photos with my corpse.
Speaker 1: Than I need.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I try not to think about it, but
Speaker 2: I am more upset by the horses, just like in
Speaker 2: a Western when I can watch people get shot all day,
Speaker 2: but when they shoot the horse and then because the
Speaker 2: real horse actor you know horse actor, yeah, falls.
Speaker 1: Over there, are yanked to the ground.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah. Westerns are troubling to watch. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't need to see that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but what's okay? If Westerns are in the more
Speaker 1: troubling side of things to watch, what's the most healing
Speaker 1: thing to watch? Hmmmm?
Speaker 2: And we're talking old movies that maybe or from a
Speaker 2: where everything is troublesome or anything.
Speaker 1: Ah, what's the antidote to if you just watched a
Speaker 1: horse get shot in a Western?
Speaker 3: I my pitch would be reality shows that are about
Speaker 3: people being good at what they're good at with with
Speaker 3: no drama. Are talking about forged in fire and I
Speaker 3: know you also a great pottery throwdown. Oh you know,
Speaker 3: like things where it's just like you're good at what
Speaker 3: you do and this is lifting you up and you're
Speaker 3: meeting other people that are like your your peers.
Speaker 5: Ye.
Speaker 1: And it's bringing a community together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that too. And I'm just on my
Speaker 2: phone on purpose find the people even though they know
Speaker 2: they're on camera, these guys that are just giving money
Speaker 2: to people without homes. And that's the best. Every time
Speaker 2: it gets me, every time, I fully cry.
Speaker 1: Well, it's solving real people's in me I problems in
Speaker 1: like such a serious way.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And it's a short amount of time you're committing
Speaker 2: like a you watch five of those and you've only
Speaker 2: five minutes later, you're in a better mood. You don't
Speaker 2: have to watch three Golden Girls episodes.
Speaker 1: That's right, Brandy. You can have anything you want off this.
Speaker 2: Man on the menu that includes one food.
Speaker 1: Item one food item wow oral water. Yeah. Hi, I
Speaker 1: don't want to get too close to this car.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 1: Uh? Can I get a couple drinks? Can I get
Speaker 1: a double tall one pump mocha hot?
Speaker 2: All have a hot coffee with almond milk?
Speaker 1: Okay? Can we get a grande just whatever your regular
Speaker 1: coffee is with almond milk? Yeah, I kind of grande
Speaker 1: iced green tea lemonade, no sweetener. Can we also get
Speaker 1: a grande iced green tea lemonade with no sweetener on, Elise.
Speaker 1: I would love a cake pop And do you have
Speaker 1: cake pops right now? The chocolate one? A chocolate one?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 1: Thank you?
Speaker 2: Very exciting. I mean he can get sing songy in
Speaker 2: the end. But we heard that cake pop attitude.
Speaker 1: I don't guess the cake I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's been a while since I worked here, Ted, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, they're also you can't tell me there aren't seasonal
Speaker 1: cake pop flavors. But whatever, if you don't want to help,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I realized you've probably been screamed at eighty
Speaker 1: nine times today, right, just give me some pumpkin spice bullshit,
Speaker 1: may motherfucker.
Speaker 2: I always i go through a drive through. I'm always
Speaker 2: just say hey, how are you doing today? And they're
Speaker 2: so thrown offcause they get treated by such like like
Speaker 2: such shit all day. They're like, uh, I'm good, how
Speaker 2: are you? I mean, thank you for asking. I've got,
Speaker 2: I've got, And then I'm not charging you just because
Speaker 2: I said how are you? Yes, that's you know. I'm
Speaker 2: not bragging about what I do. But there are videos
Speaker 2: if you're in a bad mood, there's videos of me
Speaker 2: going through drive through check how's your day, and then
Speaker 2: getting something free out of it. It uplips, it'll heal you.
Speaker 3: I just like to watch a video of a performer
Speaker 3: treating anyone else that they're human, and.
Speaker 1: It's not comedian destroys Heckler. It's actually comedian builds Heckler
Speaker 1: back up to a place where they don't feel like
Speaker 1: interrupting a show is going to make them feel like
Speaker 1: they're in the world. Yeah, exactly, the world already destroyed them.
Speaker 1: How about we like rebuild? Yeah, you know, how about
Speaker 1: we ask them some questions about their parents exactly. Not
Speaker 1: looking for joke answers, looking for some I'm looking for
Speaker 1: some connection. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So you're Every year Halloween comes and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I should have started on my costume. It's very important
Speaker 2: for me to dress up. I'm not this year. I
Speaker 2: have to be on the road. But have you have
Speaker 2: you thought about costumes and what you're gonna wear.
Speaker 1: I do have a costume situation this year.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be in New Orleans for Halloween and my
Speaker 3: with my boyfriend and then my one of my best
Speaker 3: friends in eighth grade and his wife lived there, and
Speaker 3: the four of us are going to do the Cereal Monsters.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be Frank, Frank and Berry.
Speaker 2: It's great.
Speaker 1: Rick is going to be your Boyfriend's gonna be h
Speaker 1: Count Chocula. Sure, and then we've got Booberry and yummy Mummy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yummy mummy, Yummy Mummy. Who's gonna get Booberry? I'm worried. Well,
Speaker 1: I think with the four of us together, I think
Speaker 1: it might help. Yes, like I think you honestly you
Speaker 1: need Count Chocula.
Speaker 2: Yes, you do.
Speaker 3: My boyfriend is going on a crash diet to fit
Speaker 3: into the suit that he bought. Rick, please be careful
Speaker 3: if you eating disorder.
Speaker 1: He's just like, I have to lose ten pounds to
Speaker 1: fit into the count Choculate suit. I was like, don't
Speaker 1: talk to me about it.
Speaker 2: That's so funny. I've had so many costumes that I
Speaker 2: was too big for and I'm not a huge person. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that happens a lot because they're for kids. Try finding
Speaker 2: an adult size Count Chocula.
Speaker 1: I mean, truly, there's kind of nothing worse than that too,
Speaker 1: where it's very as you like to say, Chris confronting,
Speaker 1: where the year I had to find scrubs because I
Speaker 1: was the Ebola nurse trying on scrubs in like a
Speaker 1: you know, costume thrift store or vintage store, and it's like,
Speaker 1: these scrubs don't fit me. It's like, god damn it,
Speaker 1: Like that whole that it was such a traumatizing experience,
Speaker 1: just be like trying on these crazy pants and like
Speaker 1: some of them are gigantic, but most of them are,
Speaker 1: Like all these nurses were so petite. God damn it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, the scrubs, I will say, based on my Instagram
Speaker 3: ad scrubs have gotten sexy in a weird way. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because there's a lot of scrubs. They're very form fitting.
Speaker 3: They got joggers. Ye. Now, these nurses are beautiful, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, it's not the nurses.
Speaker 1: And I've at the hospital, but I guess, you know,
Speaker 1: all right, good for you. For you guys, I mean, okay,
Speaker 1: that's how you want to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been intimidated by the scrubs I've seen on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you, don't worry. I guess you're right there there.
Speaker 1: Maybe these days just slightly more fitted than I just
Speaker 1: kept expecting how I was gonna basically be. It would
Speaker 1: be like if you were borrowing pajamas. You wouldn't be like, oh,
Speaker 1: they kind of don't fit into your pajamas, and it's
Speaker 1: just like, but I don't fit into these fucking scrubs.
Speaker 1: Did you do a croc with them? I did clogs
Speaker 1: because I was it was the year I want to
Speaker 1: see Bowler Nurse.
Speaker 2: Oh, I like that.
Speaker 1: It was a while ago, that's fine, And I knew
Speaker 1: I purposely picked that costumes so I wouldn't actually really
Speaker 1: have to be have a costume on because I was
Speaker 1: just like, oh, I'm just gonna I might as well
Speaker 1: have been a jogger because I'm like, I just want
Speaker 1: to be comfortable, so I'll just wear these scrubs.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The year you there was an exactly right Halloween
Speaker 2: party and everyone put time to their costumes. And I
Speaker 2: just had a lab coat and covered it with those
Speaker 2: spider webs and I'm like, okay, so I'm just a
Speaker 2: dusty old Okay, I'll put some spider webs in my hair.
Speaker 2: How about some spy in my hair? And I couldn't
Speaker 2: get it out. It was a it was a costume
Speaker 2: that lasts for an entire week.
Speaker 1: There you go, spider doctor.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Everyone thought it was an origin story for Peter
Speaker 2: Parker or something, or I guess there is a Spider
Speaker 2: Man character that turns into something, because.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the five and nunder from the flashback.
Speaker 2: Exactly. Yeah, I just need to do a little research
Speaker 2: after I make my costume and apply it to something.
Speaker 1: That was the same party where I went as Megan
Speaker 1: Fox and Frank. I brought my dog and he was
Speaker 1: machine gun Kelly. He's got that. I could see it.
Speaker 1: He's got the vibe. But all I did was put
Speaker 1: I bought Fox ears on a weird and a really
Speaker 1: long wig, and people kept telling me, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you have to grow your hair out. That looks so
Speaker 1: good on you. I'm like, you, guys, this is like
Speaker 1: a weird It's like a weird Uh. I don't even
Speaker 1: know there was like I was at one point, Georgia goes,
Speaker 1: no joke, you have to grow your hair long, and
Speaker 1: I it wouldn't look like this. There's literally tinsel in
Speaker 1: this hair like it's it's sexy hair. They made it
Speaker 1: that way. It's like, that's not what my hair is
Speaker 1: going to look like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's people trying to compliment you, but all they're
Speaker 2: saying is you should wear wigs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you could look different cold. You cover this
Speaker 1: up more in some way. But I love the way
Speaker 1: it looks really quick. Sorry, Brandy, because this started before
Speaker 1: you got in the car. But Chris was telling me,
Speaker 1: and I think you're in one hair too. He's got
Speaker 1: a drink named after him. Congratulations.
Speaker 2: Yeah right, you always wanted that.
Speaker 1: As you were telling me, that's when we spotted the
Speaker 1: highway patrolman that was driving crazy because there was an
Speaker 1: accidental one. Oh they did the thing where they bobbed
Speaker 1: and weaved across. I'd never seen that U till I
Speaker 1: moved to California. That the first time I saw that happening,
Speaker 1: I was like, is there a be in his car?
Speaker 1: I thought it was a full Tommy Boy situation.
Speaker 2: Are the cops from super Bad?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: They're so hot right now, I'm sorry, Oh, this guy
Speaker 3: looks like of course, this guy looks like you would
Speaker 3: have an attitude about cake Pops.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'd be nice to her. Yeah, yeah, hey, let's
Speaker 2: take my chance to kiss her on the cheek or
Speaker 2: kicked her. He's going to kick you on the cheek.
Speaker 1: You will not bet or not.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be.
Speaker 1: Nice, But there is we are going to find out
Speaker 1: exactly where this ends. Anyway, when we all have our coffees,
Speaker 1: will you tell the actual story. I want to know
Speaker 1: the how and why?
Speaker 2: Okay, okay. This has been an exactly Right production.
Speaker 1: Produced by Annalise Nelson, mixed by Edson Chroi. Our talent
Speaker 1: booker is Patrick Coottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 1: Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter,
Speaker 1: and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d y n ar podcast.
Speaker 2: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com. Thank you,
Speaker 2: Oh You're welcome