00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 2: Welcome to, I said, no gifts. I'm Richard Winecker. Oh, here we are. I hope you're doing okay. I hope you're not stressed out. I mean, maybe you are. I hope you're not disarming a bomb or doing anything like that, although that could be an interesting If you are, and you're listening to a podcast, interesting choices are being made, and I appreciate that. I hope I'm not adding to the stress. I don't have any advice for you. I don't have any advice in general, let alone about the bomb situation. So I'm just gonna try to keep the tone soft for you, and we're going to have a nice time regardless of what you're doing. Because our guest today is extremely funny and also just a nice guy. It's Josh Gondleman. Josh, welcome to. I said no gifts. 00:01:43 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me Ridger and a big shout out to all the Bomb Squad listeners right now. 00:01:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, we appreciate what you're doing. We love that you're fans of the pod and you're committed enough to it that you're you're clipping the wires, you're driving a little machine that heads towards the bomb, whatever you do to disarm a bomb. 00:02:07 Speaker 3: Whatever you're doing. Canonically, we hate bombs. 00:02:11 Speaker 2: We are not Bob. This is not a fan This podcast is not a bomb fan podcast. Although we do love the bombs in Mario Brothers cute little bombs. 00:02:22 Speaker 3: So there's some cute if I saw one of those, even if I I imagine, even if I were a professional Bomb Squad bomb disarmor, I would be tempted not do. 00:02:34 Speaker 2: It's a very good bomb design because it really humanizes and kind of you want to be friends with that bomb. And yeah, so I guess my question is why are more bombs not designed that way? 00:02:47 Speaker 3: I know, right, I feel like it would be great bomb pr if they were kind of toddling along and yeah, yeah, even. 00:02:56 Speaker 2: A bomb, you know, like an old fashioned bomb where it's like with the giant FEUs and it kind of looks like a bowling mall. Even that's kind of cute and fun. 00:03:04 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a little whimsy with that. 00:03:07 Speaker 2: Right, it's not just like this terrifying mesh you know, of wires and that kind of thing that bombs lost their way. I feel like bombs have lost their way. 00:03:17 Speaker 3: The design. I feel like it's like that Twitter meme of like what happened? Bombs used to look like this, and now they look like this, just clock with a bunch of wires. Like it's a mess. From an stating point of views. 00:03:30 Speaker 2: It really shows how how far we've fallen as a society. You know, whatever, josh how are you. 00:03:40 Speaker 3: I'm feeling pretty good, thank you. I'm having a nice day. Do you ever go by Joshua? Very seldom? Sometimes people throw it in. I like can't figure it the rhyme of reason, Like I'm even josh to my parents. 00:03:52 Speaker 2: Right, I'm just it's like occurring to me. Now, I've never met someone I know plenty of Joshua's, but I have never heard someone called Joshua. No the tree, Yeah, truly, it's only the tree. 00:04:05 Speaker 3: It's like you wouldn't call it like, hey, We're going to josh Tree for the weekend and be like you're the worst person I've ever met. 00:04:14 Speaker 2: Oh no, and you know that's been said before. 00:04:16 Speaker 3: That's disheartening by like a New York finance or tech person who flies out to the desert to do psychedelics for the first time. We're going to josh tree man, you do mushrooms. Just reconnect. This is your company retreat, it's your whole all of your hedge fund managers are going to do as together. You're doing it wrong. 00:04:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, Joshua, that's an interesting one. I think Joshua is a hard It's maybe the most challenging or like requires the most work to say out of all of full names. 00:04:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, this is like the vowels kind of butting up against each other. 00:04:54 Speaker 2: It's very biblical. Oh yeah, it's very It's kind of a roller coaster for your mouth. Then, so I guess I can see why you name the baby Joshua and then just get into josh josh Yeah. 00:05:05 Speaker 3: My parents, Yeah, that's in My parents call me for sure. I mean, like maybe I can't remember the last time anyone called me Joshua, like maybe like a great aunt or something says it as like a you know, to be like a little sweet and formal, like, oh, Joshua, it's so nice to see you. But like even that, I feel like, who what, oh sorry, I should I feel like when you call me, I should be wearing a tie, and. 00:05:27 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, absolutely, it's a very serious name. 00:05:31 Speaker 3: I realized, even my professional name, Like I go by josh like with you know, like with friends and people that I work with in comedy, but like it's on all my like that's what shows up in the credits of stuff I work on is just josh. 00:05:46 Speaker 2: Right and formal. You've really abandoned the name josh worked one that you know, well, maybe you know at some point it might be worth considering. That's all I'm saying, you know, just it'll be like a it'll be kind of a Bowie or Madonna ask like shift in personal just Joshua's. 00:06:08 Speaker 3: I just go circling Joshua. 00:06:11 Speaker 2: Trying to do a Madonna with Joshua is a very interesting movie, so. 00:06:16 Speaker 3: Funny because, like you said, there are more Joshuas running around than Joshua's. But it's still not uncommon enough where people like, wait a minute, which Joshua. 00:06:28 Speaker 2: Have you heard the new Joshua single? Like no, and I don't want to. 00:06:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just him calculating a tip kind of like agonizingly because he wants to be generous, but he's bad at math. 00:06:43 Speaker 2: Oh boy, what else is going on in life? I guess today is Jeff Bezos. Is he in space? He's back, He's back already, Yeah, it was. I think he was up in the air for eleven minutes. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. The point, what's the point? It's no fun. 00:07:02 Speaker 3: We didn't even get a good countdown. I don't I don't think. 00:07:05 Speaker 2: I completely missed it. 00:07:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it happened earlier than I thought. I thought he would have tried to. 00:07:11 Speaker 2: Do it during like prime time, right, I mean, who cares at what time you're going to space. Pick a time when everyone's awake, right, It's not like you're gonna cross paths with someone else going to space. 00:07:21 Speaker 3: No, nine pm, East Coast, like when the NBA Finals starts, so you get the East Coast and the West Coast able to watch people done with work for the day. Yeah, I mean, like he wore a cowboy hat. I don't think he saw the picture. No. 00:07:34 Speaker 2: See, this is why I wasn't paying attention in the first place. Why is it now that's worse than wearing a cowboy hat to the airport. 00:07:41 Speaker 3: Way worse than you had to the airport, because like, there are cities in the United States or elsewhere that you might go to where the attire his cowboy had friendly. But in space that's never like you can't. It's not like you put on top of the helmet like he wore it to and from the space the rocket or whatever. It's not like he was like, well, if I see someone in space, I'll tip my cap to the extraterrestrials say how do y'all and they'll understand what a loser, real loser behavior. 00:08:12 Speaker 2: And also just go to the moon. Why, like no one else going to the moon. You've got all of the money, We've done it before. I'm Jeff Bezos, and I'm going to go to space. I'm going to the moon. I'm not just going to fly up to fly round. Monkeys and dogs have already done what this thing? 00:08:27 Speaker 1: You know? 00:08:28 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, a numerous species, so many people. There's people probably in space right now. Right. Isn't the International Space Station still rocking and rolling the last time we were on the moon. It's been a long time. He could and you could just go to the moon. There's nobody else there. It's not crowded. You don't have to wait in line for anything. 00:08:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder what stopped him from the moon. Maybe that's the next step. The expense can't have been in, right, I mean, certainly you can just pay a little bit more money. He's got the cash that he's not spending on things that what actually employees wages, health insurance, one of the myriad problems we have here on Earth. If you're going to spend the money, go all the way, go to the moon. 00:09:14 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't. I don't know why I'm supposed to be impressed by him going Like they said, like it was like the edge of space. It feels like someone being like, have you ever been to l Passo? I mean being like, oh, yeah, I drove through it on the way from Austin to Las Angels Once It's like, well did you stop? I No, I didn't stop. I was. I was kind of in a rush and I peed a couple hours before, so it doesn't count. That's disrespectful to the people of El Paso. 00:09:46 Speaker 2: Yes, this was more just like in bungee jumping territory or you know that kind of thing where it's like, oh, so you just wanted a little bit of a thrill. Yeah, I'm not impressed. Not impressed to come back when you've touched the mood even the moon, I guess wouldn't beat that impressed. If we all know it's just kind of a dusty circle. 00:10:05 Speaker 3: It does seem fun. This is what I would do if I had that money and was intent on not doing anything for anyone else and just kind of spending it on my own trible as pursuits. I would go all the way to the moon. I would put up a basketball hoop and I would dunk. That's like, yes, that would be fun. Yes, this is how you waste money. Yeah. And it's like, oh, Lebron, you think you did space jam. I did space Jam. I jammed in space. 00:10:33 Speaker 2: Thank you. See this is why you need to be controlling the per strings of Jeff Bezos. 00:10:39 Speaker 3: I would be such a good financial advisor, too. Is super wealthy. First of all, I would embezzle just little bits, like not enough that even that it's a crime. Like if Jeff Bezos was like, hey, Josh, would you mind picking up some coffees, I'd be like, sure, dude, And then I would just keep the change just for the point of like, you're not getting this one over on me, and he would be like how much did it cost? And I was like, weirdly twenty bucks even, and. 00:11:06 Speaker 2: Being all right, he's one of those lucky orders where it just was a nice, clean twenty Yeah. 00:11:12 Speaker 3: Honestly, I feel like it was like pumping gas. I just ordered coffee until it added up to twenty just because that makes my brain feel at ease, and it'll be like great, And meanwhile in my pocket, I'll have like two dollars and forty six cents and I was just like, oh, do you think you're so smart? Bezos? 00:11:34 Speaker 2: And I also encourage anyone who is getting coffee for a boss take the change, take a change, to be a generous tipper, do something if. 00:11:44 Speaker 3: You tip with the change, because that's I think you can't be a dick. If they tip with the change. You're like, oh, it was sixteen bucks. I left the four as a tip. It was a big order. They you know, I'm complicated machiados and such. I left the tip and they're like, well, you can't tip twenty five percent on coffee. It's like, man, you were just in space. You can't tell you how much to take. How much did you tip the guy that full Serve filled up your spaceship with gasoline? 00:12:15 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:12:15 Speaker 2: I think that that's completely fair. Uh. And we should all be trying to take advantage of Jeff Bezos and any of these people in any possible way. 00:12:25 Speaker 3: Absolutely, you know. 00:12:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's a giant corporation and something, you know, you get a little free something here or there, go for it. 00:12:34 Speaker 3: Yep. Yeah. 00:12:35 Speaker 2: You know a few years ago there was some glitch on Target dot com where I got seventy five percent off of everything. I went for it. 00:12:41 Speaker 3: Yeah right, Oh sorry, you think John and Beth Target are hurting because of that. No, they're fine. 00:12:51 Speaker 2: If a company is, you know, raking in billions of dollars, go for it. You know they've done you know they've taken advantage. You take advantage. 00:13:00 Speaker 3: There's so few times where I will raise a fuss about like an individual person too, like because everybody's just trying their best, or if they're not, they're not paid enough to. It's not it's not my problem. But like, you know, if I go to a car rental place and my rental is messed up, I'll like go out of my way if I have to like write to them to complain, which is occasional, that I'll be like everyone there was so helpful and so nice. It's just like there weren't cars. Hey, what's up with that? Like you know what I mean, Like I try not to like get anyone in trouble because, like life is so hard. I don't even if someone was like abruptly rude to me, it's like, yeah, I mean I probably suck the. 00:13:44 Speaker 2: Deal with Oh yeah, of course they're probably. I mean, occasionally there's probably a horrible person you're working with, but for the most part, most jobs are awful and they're hard, and they put you in a bad mood. So someone's in a bad mood and you catch a little bit of that. Unless they're like aggressively coming after you, they're just having a hard day on your job. 00:14:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, I give if I do a ride share five stars. Unless even I was going to say unless they actively endanger my life, I'll go as far as to say, unless they intentionally endanger my life, Like you know, if they're like weaving through traffic, speeding, they're up on two wheels, it's just like, hey, that's just because they care, they want to do a good job. But you know if the guy like turns to the back and like punches me and is like, don't tell anyone about this, I'll be like, well that is probably a four star ride. 00:14:33 Speaker 2: Yeah. Even then it's like, well it was a new experience, never done something like that before. Yeah, anytime somebody is leaving a bad review when it was just like a mediocre situation, I just don't like spend your energy on something else. 00:14:50 Speaker 3: Especially when it goes to their like boss, you know what I mean. Of course, difference being like hey man, would you mind slowing down a little bit this I'm like a little carsick versus like three stars. Note this man cares not for my safety. It's like who cares? Shut up? Just like stop snitching. I mean, like I yeah, that's it. Stop snitching. Like people they're just like having a job is so much work, which is I know what work is, It's work. But like, don't go snitching to people just because they're doing like a low grade bad job. Oh you've tried so hard. 00:15:32 Speaker 2: Every day if your life. Yeah, unless you're like you know, snitching on a mob boss, which I love, I love, you know, I love a mob snitch, Love. 00:15:42 Speaker 3: A mob snitch. There's so much drama, there's bad gentry. 00:15:48 Speaker 2: There's also you kind of get relocated to Florida or what. There's so much fun to live a whole new life. 00:15:55 Speaker 3: Right, He's gonna put on a big, fancy suit and talk to a judge just to excitement in everyone's life. 00:16:02 Speaker 2: The thrill of getting to wear a wire, you know, the pulse Trennis, who. 00:16:08 Speaker 3: I miked up. I feel like, maybe this is this is anti Italian prejudice, but I feel like, if you wear a pinstripe suit to court, you definitely did it. 00:16:23 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Anyone that's currently wearing a pin stripe suit has committed a crime in the last ten years, no question, unless the one exception is Steve Harvey. God knowes what's happening in the world of Steve Harvey. 00:16:38 Speaker 3: Sure, sure, I just don't want to don't want to paint him with the same brush, but I don't think. Man, imagine if we found out he was in the mob. 00:16:48 Speaker 2: Oh, that would be incredible. 00:16:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, And we were just like the suits were trying to tell us, this is our new thing. We're gonna find some some Steve Harvey's do you remember a few years ago that thing went viral that was like that were like the new rules for working in Steve Harvey's office. No, it was like all these guidelines for like being respectful and deferential towards Steve Harvey. Like it was just like they were all presented in a way that made them feel very aggressive. But some of them were like fine, it was like, please don't enter mister Harvey's office without an appointment. He's a very busy man. And some of them are like, do not look Steve Harvey in the eyes. Of those are very different, right right, right, right, Like some of them felt like, taken altogether in aggregate, it was like, wow, this is like Steve Harvey has a lot of specific preferences, but like some of them were just like, yeah, this is how you interact with like your busy boss, Like you're not just like hey, Stevie h got some ideas for the feud. What about a category that's like things you'd find in a belly button? And Steve Harvey's like, I don't have time for this. I have to get and ignore a suit fitting waiter. 00:18:03 Speaker 2: Oh well, Josh, that actually it makes me think of something having rules in this kind of thing, and uh, you know, everybody has their little rules and their little you know, guidelines this kind of thing, and this podcast is called I said no gifts, and you you know, you agreed to be on it a few weeks ago, and I thought, this is wonderful. I love josh He's such a sweethearty, so funny. It's gonna be smooth sailing, absolutely smooth sailing. And so I was. I will say last night I was a little shaken up, a little surprised when I get an email from none other than Joshua Gondleman you are no full name, and this, Uh so, I you know, I have a bag here. I don't know, I thought I would bring a bag. The bag is completely unnecessary in this particular situation because this is kind of a new, a new thing that's happened on this podcast up until now. Every every time someone's been on them, they've brought me a gift, and there's it's led to me freaking out, screaming matches, uh you know, me pounding my desk, that kind of thing. And it was all entirely because you know, the surprise, the anger for me. This is the first time I've gotten a gift on this podcast that was immediately not a surprise. I knew immediately what it was, and but I thought I would just bring up I have this bag here. I'm just going to bring out the tissue. Should I open this bag before we get into the gift. 00:19:43 Speaker 4: Sure, it's like a Christmas looking bag. Yeah, it's a little Christmas bag. Yeah, and some Christmas lights, some tissue. I imagine this was a former gift on the podcast. I found this in the closet. 00:20:03 Speaker 2: You know, I'm a sucker for pageantry and tradition, and so why break the cycle. Now, let's let's open this despite the fact that there's nothing in here. We just like the tissue. 00:20:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's some nice fully work. 00:20:15 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm a fully master. This is I'm looking for work in the fully industry. Okay, I want to do that for like a solid ten minutes at some point, just the most alienating thing I could possibly do. 00:20:31 Speaker 3: Or there's some people that are listening that are like, finally, Bridger makes the ASMR pivot that I've always been hoping for. 00:20:39 Speaker 2: I have to imagine I think that that's got to qualify as ASMR. I I'm not a big ASMR person. But I have realized recently that for me, something that qualifies as ASMR is when someone is telling me or describing things in detail, or like giving me directions. Like if you go to a museum and they show you the map and have the highlighter and they do that, they like highlight where you need to go to get somewhere. My brain just turns to. 00:21:11 Speaker 3: Mush and it's just like a pleasant white noise. Oh. 00:21:14 Speaker 2: I love it. Anytime somebody has to kind of explain something to me in a calm way, ASMR city for me. 00:21:23 Speaker 3: Here's how you connect your wireless headphones to the computer, and you're just like zoning out those a sleep of my life. 00:21:31 Speaker 2: All that aside, Josh, Okay, so this is what I have not opened the email yet, but okay, I will say it came from let's see here, wander Lust Creamery, which I believe is only based in Los Angeles. 00:21:49 Speaker 3: I think, so true. 00:21:51 Speaker 2: Have you been to Wanderlust? 00:21:52 Speaker 3: I have not. I did a lot of investigation into the ice creameries of Los Angeles and we can get into it later. 00:22:00 Speaker 2: Well, we're going to get into it all over the place now because I'm I was thrilled to see this email, but I'm curious, like, let's just get to the very beginning of the conversation. Why did you send me this gift card to wander leus? 00:22:13 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:22:13 Speaker 2: And oh, we have a little message here. So there is an apology, which I appreciate. It says, I know you said no gifts, but I couldn't help. But thanks for having me on your podcast. Josh, not Joshua, just Josh. So explain yourself. 00:22:28 Speaker 3: I just appreciate it. First of all, you recently appeared on my podcast Make My Day, which is I did today. 00:22:35 Speaker 2: In fact, was the lease of the episode for great calendar freaks out there. I will love calenders. 00:22:42 Speaker 3: Listening back in editing a few days ago, laughed a lot, really enjoyed myself, felt great, felt grateful for your appearance on the podcast and similarly for you asking me to be on on this podcast. And I was like, I should really show some gratitude about a little gift, just a little token of appreciation. It's summer, Los Angeles, It's it's always ice cream season, I imagine, And so I thought, this seems this seems like a nice little treat gift. 00:23:13 Speaker 2: Are you a big ice cream eater. 00:23:16 Speaker 3: I I was. There was a period of the pandemic where I was I was creaming heavy. I was going, good, Lord, what you just said, Yeah, that was a bad way to put it. I was. I was doing a lot of ice cream eating. My I'm pretty that my problem isn't quantity in any given sitting, it's frequency. So if I keep ice cream in the house, it's not like I never like sit and eat a whole pint, but like, if I remember that I have a pint, I will eat it in four consecutive servings on four consecutive days, right, and it's gone. So my project is forgetting buying ice cream, forgetting I have it, and then when I look in the freezer for just regular ice being like, oh this is nice. I'll have one spoonful later, and then they're the spoon in the dishwasher. But so what I've been doing, like because during kind of the like stay at home remote work quarantine part of twenty twenty and twenty twenty one, there's just there was just a little variety to life. So I was just really getting into like I was just trying every Ben and Jerry's flavor that they had at my corner store, every Van Luwin flavor some other brands that I was like, sure, whatever, so that's like I've been into, like the wacky flavors. 00:24:39 Speaker 2: Wait, so when you say wacky flavors, what are we talking about here? Because I have big opinions on wacky flavors. 00:24:44 Speaker 3: So they weren't all good, but it was like an interesting experience. Like Ben and Jerry's makes a Canoli flavored ice cream. Ooh yeah, and I wish there were a heavier Marscapone, MARSCAPONI. I don't know. Again, I don't mean to be anti Italian. 00:25:02 Speaker 2: He's let's just put it out there. Josh has been fighting against the Italian people for decades, and I brought him on this podcast to put an end to this bigotry. We have got to stop this anti Italian maniac. 00:25:18 Speaker 3: But it was a It was pretty good. But I wish that cheese, like the Canoli filling flavor were stronger. But I was like, right, this is interesting to try. Sure, I've got in my freezer right now, like a Van Lewin mocha cookie something that's very good. 00:25:36 Speaker 2: Oh see that sounds lovely. 00:25:38 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's terrific. It's not too not too adventurous. It's not like, Okay, he hits a chocolate base, but then there's like a little sea salt and gravel and holy water loose dog for yeah. 00:25:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, that to me, I think that, you know, within the world of ice cream, anyone who has eats ice enough that they're like, well, this time, I'm just going to not enjoy in any way. It's just going to be a horrible experience. I can't do that. When I'm going to pay six dollars for an ice cream cone, it better be incredibly enjoyable, because I've taken the time. I'm I want to enjoy myself. I enjoy so few things at this point that if you're going to fill my ice cream with loose teeth and you know, like band aids, it's what are we talking about. That's not a treat, it's a dare. 00:26:30 Speaker 3: It's you know, sometimes there's music like like it's like free jazz, where if you're a connoisseur of jazz music and you're like, I've heard the standards, I've heard them played every which way. I just want to hear people break in all the rules and I can respect that because you're so immersed in the world, that you need something new and bracing that's going to kind of like snap you to attention. I just never have that need with dessert, right, I just never I feel like I'm up for a new flavor. But I don't think it ever has to be something like it doesn't have to be like a challenge or a shock to my sensibility. 00:27:12 Speaker 2: Right, I don't need like laundry deterg to write. You know, there are certain things I just know are not going to be enjoyable. They're not going to taste like a treat. I think in general, human beings have figured out the palette we can use for dessert. Sure, chocolate, peanut, butter, fruit, you know, there are plenty. 00:27:36 Speaker 3: I've only named three here. There's like but I agree, I think, like, oh, you know what I like? This is what I was looking at Wanderlust Creamery, and there was one place in Los Angeles that looked too aggressive, Like there's a place called and I don't I've never been the description of the ice cream, like the flavors. I was like, these are interesting, but that the the pictures all looked like too designed for Instagram, Like it looked like the mix ins were Instagram quantities not like good quantities for eating, and the like font choice and everything was incredibly aggressive, and I was like, I don't need an ice cream that's trying to simulate the experience of like, uh, cocaine at five in the morning, when you've been out since one am. So I saw Wanderlust and what one thing that appealed to me was that there were flavors that are dessert like that I've not seen in ice cream frequently, Like a Vietnamese coffee ice cream, right, a flavor I love, like a coffee flavor with some sweet and condensed milk. That's a flavor that I'm like, what a treat, But to ice creamify it that seems new and fun to me. 00:28:49 Speaker 2: Yes, Wanderlust does do that where they're respectfully pushing the boundaries of true exactly. They're evolving well we've already done, or finding other things that happened to make sense as dessert or you know that we've we've seen succeed and dessert in some way before, and turning them into ice cream. 00:29:09 Speaker 3: And turning kind of like like desserts of various like different food cultures and traditions into ice cream is what some of it looked like, and I'm like, oh, that's cool, like an ice cream version of whatever, like a flawn or something, you. 00:29:23 Speaker 2: Know, not that seciety. 00:29:24 Speaker 3: We're like, oh yeah, we're in the dessert world and you're taking this and putting it in a scoop, and I'm intrigued by that. But it's not like, oh, there's so many fucking cookies in this cookie monster would o d okay? 00:29:37 Speaker 2: Well, we are trying to kill every member of Sesame Street with our yes. 00:29:41 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:29:41 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:29:41 Speaker 3: If a child saw this, they would weep because they wouldn't believe that ice cream could look like this, right, But I think, yeah, like a subtle like just and I tried to think about it from an enjoyability standpoint rather than because we had once gosh, what was it? It was like a milkshake with a little like we It was like a treat someone sent us as an old job, where it was like a milkshake, but on top was like the way you would garnish, like a bloody mary with olives. Was like a donut. And it's like this is too much. First of all, too much dessert. There's no great way to eat it, but like when you want a milk, Like a milkshake is so much dessert already. We don't need a second dessert on top of it to just like really hammer home, like I don't want to live. 00:30:31 Speaker 2: Well by the time you eat that donut, you're not going to want the milkshake any correct, Yeah, you're going to feel sick. 00:30:37 Speaker 3: You can't like if you want like a garnish that's a like a gummy bear a single or three gummy bears, the way you do olives on a Martin, but like a doughnut, like a mini cupcake. It's like this is a separate, a separate dessert endeavor. 00:30:52 Speaker 2: It's truly Instagram culture. I mean it is all of that is just built to have a picture taken of it, right, and no one's actually enjoying that, no, And. 00:31:03 Speaker 3: I think it's like kind of like I don't know, it just feels like a little wasteful because it's a lot to consume out of the pressure of like, well, I paid money for this. I don't want it to go to waste. But it's more for the visual aesthetic, Like I would rather get something that I enjoy more and just like enjoy it because like I don't know. Dessert does not have to be for Instagram. There are already we already have senses to enjoy dessert without it also having to be for other visuals. 00:31:33 Speaker 2: Right, yeah, wander Lust, I think they do a nice job. But they I think they say it's like inspired by travel, which, let's be honest, is a little annoying. But the ice cream itself is so wonderful that it makes up for it, and it's not like inspired by travel, And now it's like a it tastes like a suitcase or. 00:31:54 Speaker 3: Airplane. It's like blood shredded up boarding passive. 00:31:58 Speaker 2: Right, So, I think they do a nice job. Are you a traveling person? Do you enjoy traveling? 00:32:04 Speaker 3: I do like to travel. I'm like pretty well traveled in the United States just from stand up and I like them. Yeah. So I've been to places that I like wouldn't have otherwise necessarily gone, that I've really enjoyed, Like, are there any surprising ones? Like Asheville, North Carolina is like a beloved city. But I think being booked to do stand up there is what kind of like accelerated my timeline of actually visiting, and I've been back since. It's a great place. So it's not It wasn't like, oh I would never I would never think to go there, but it was like, oh, this is a reason to go to this place and then hang around for a couple of days and like enjoy the right. 00:32:40 Speaker 2: Have you been to all fifty states? 00:32:42 Speaker 3: I haven't been to Alaska or Hawaii, Okay, but every I've been to most of them. I've performed in like, well well over half of the states, which is wow, that's fun. Yeah, so like that. Yeah, I just I like, I like to travel in the United States. I love a road trip. 00:32:59 Speaker 2: I love a road trip. Oh yeah, what's the longest road trip you've been on? 00:33:03 Speaker 3: I went. I took thirty days with a friend or twenty eight days maybe with a friend in two thousand and nine, and we drove we were living in Boston, down to Texas and then across the southwest and then up to Seattle and then back east. Oh it was awesome. 00:33:21 Speaker 2: Did you ever feel like you were going to lose your mind? Though? 00:33:25 Speaker 3: It was like a little like I think by the time we got to there were a couple of cities we stayed in for a few days, and I think by the time we got to Chicago, like our last night. We were like, I guess we could like find a hotel tonight or we could just drive home now. So it was like ten pm. We got off stage, got in my little Toyota Corolla, and then just like started driving. We set the DVR. Excuse me DVR, we said, the GPS. This was when you had like a little GPS unit in the car, oh you know, two thousand and nine. It was like a little iPad mini sized guy that just was like, all I do is tell you where to go. So we sent the GPS to Boston from Chicago, and it took us through Canada. What yeah, And going into Canada at the time, they were just like hey, glad to have you. Welcome to the neighborhood. And we drove straight through. We like stopped to get like a coffee and use a rest stop bathroom, and then we got back to the United States three hours later with no passports because we did not attend I'm leaving the country. The customs in the US were like, all right, what are you doing in Canada? And we're like our comedians were coming from Chicago. We just drove straight east and this is what happened. And they were like, you just accidentally drove it to Canada. Were like, yeah, they've incredibly suspicious, very suspicious. I would not have trusted me two thousand and nine though, a different time, a different time, just flying through the world, no quarantine necessary, not a care in the world. Yeah, could just freely move between countries. About two weeks of staying in a hotel, slowly losing your mind. 00:35:07 Speaker 2: Do you think you're going to travel at all now with being vaccinated in this kind of thing, I mean, assuming you're not an anti vaxer. 00:35:14 Speaker 3: I'm vaccinated. Yeah, not to brag to hundreds of nations in the world that I have not had that option yet, but I'm vaccinated. I think I've planned like a couple of little things. We went to Miami for a couple days, my wife and I for anniversary and we just sat like by a pool and enjoyed the sunlay. That was really nice. And we're going to Philly for a few days for her birthday. So we're doing mostly like short few day trips within the United States. 00:35:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got to figure out some sort of travel. I'm gonna absolutely snap here if I don't get out of the city. 00:35:51 Speaker 3: I started because we went to Miami in May, and then around the fourth of July, we had friends that were like, Oh, we're going to the Jersey Shore for a couple of days. We're going to Hampton's a couple days are do you have any plans? And I was like, I was looking forward so much to this trip in May that I truly forgot to plan the rest of my wife and just like stopped thinking into the future because for a year, I just got to the point of like tomorrow is like today, which was like yesterday, and so I don't really have to make plans. I have to like, in fact not make plans and just like decide to live life one day at a time. And now that that's an option to like do stuff on purpose, I had forgotten how to do that. 00:36:30 Speaker 2: Right, Doing things on purpose and planning ahead and also being spontaneous right now are two things. I'm just like, Oh, you can do these things, and yeah, they will work out in some way. 00:36:41 Speaker 3: My wife had plans one night to like have dinner with friends, and I forgot to think about what to do that night, and I was like, I was like, oh, I could see a friend that I haven't seen in a while, like someone that she doesn't know as well that you know that like we would just talk about whatever comedy or high school or whatever it is. And I was like, Okay, who are my friend? 00:37:04 Speaker 2: Right, there's a whole list of people who, for all I know might be dead at this point that I've just like lost contact with who I would have regularly probably seen once a month or something. And I'm just like, I need to sit down and just make a list of people that may have vanished for my life. 00:37:19 Speaker 3: Yes, I've been, you know, going to a few social events and like a bunch of comedy stuff, doing some more stand up and like my excuse me, my comically large reactions when I see someone, and it's always the same. I was like, hey, like arms out stretched up in the air as if I'm about to start the YMCA, and then I go, I haven't seen you in forever, And then I go, wait, I haven't seen anyone forever, but it's nice to see you. 00:37:43 Speaker 2: Yeah. There's still like occasionally meeting up with people and like we just kind of slowly approach each other then stop without hugging, and then I'm like, well, now the moment is lost. If I can't now hug you, and so there's just kind of the staring at each other that's uncomfortable, but we're all we're all relearning. 00:38:03 Speaker 3: The far away enthusiasmts like what's up? And then you're like, okay, do we do we shake hands? Some people I think have been very like anti hug philosophically, which seems like a cheat. Like if you don't like to hug, that's one thing, like totally fair. I don't want to violate anyone's personal boundaries. But when you're anti hug as like a like people shouldn't hug, it's like, come on, what are we supposed to do? We have been so remote from one another, like people shouldn't hug? Like what kind of take? 00:38:34 Speaker 1: Is that? 00:38:35 Speaker 2: Not a great take? 00:38:37 Speaker 3: The one that the one that popped into my head the other day that I was like, oh I should just say this on Twitter, get ratioed into oblivion and delete my account, is that because this isn't really a thing. But like people are like, oh, are we going to stop blowing up birthday candles? Which like maybe sure that one I get, But the one that I've been thinking about is, oh, just throw the coats on the bed, throwing. 00:39:00 Speaker 2: Coats on the bed. It's always been like, what's that, I mean it's rough. Nope, coats are kind of just dirty. 00:39:09 Speaker 3: Yes, and on the bed they're the dirtiest. If I get my coat dirty, like if I if I spill something on my shirt, right like if I spill like a little coffee on my shirt, I will if I'm home, I change it right away. I put it in the laundry, I wash it. If I spill a little coffee on my coat, that coat's staying coffeed up until winter. 00:39:31 Speaker 2: Of course, people are worried about like pant like wearing jeans on the bed or whatever. Jeans get washed pretty regularly. Coats coats, coats may never get washed, may never get washed. I will usually do one at that I'll like be mindful of doing it, like when it's warm enough that I'm like, okay, the coats are going away. 00:39:50 Speaker 3: But like I also don't have like just a vast array of coats. So if I put my warm if I'm like, oh my coat's got a little stain on it, I'll take it to the dry cleaner and I'm just cold for a week. 00:40:03 Speaker 2: I mean, something really bad has has to have happened for me to wash a coat like I had, I have to have buried a body to be like, oh, maybe I should throw it in the wash. 00:40:14 Speaker 3: Oh, I was over it, Dexter's gill. 00:40:17 Speaker 2: Maybe it's time I'll put it in the wash. Otherwise, And so to be putting those on beds, that's fine. Yeah, throw on the floor, Yeah, throw them on the floor. Floor and coat are a better match than bed and ghosts. Certainly, I would rather be putting your shoes on my bed. 00:40:36 Speaker 3: Just just rub your butt on my. 00:40:40 Speaker 2: Everybody, take your diaper off and throw it on the bed. 00:40:44 Speaker 3: I'm sure there's been a party that started like that. But yeah, throw the coats on the bed is like something I hadn't considered in a long time, because I definitely like, I've been going to some gatherings now, but it's they're, you know, largely coat free because of the weather. So back in the winter, the first night, it's like, well, we do the coats, and so we'll keep them away from my bed. You need to lead the charge. I'm gonna no coats on the bed. That's that's my new mantra. 00:41:14 Speaker 2: Oh okay, well, look coats, ice cream, all of this aside. I think we should play a game. Do you want to play a game I would love to do you want to play a game called Gift or a Curse or a game called Gift Master. 00:41:27 Speaker 3: Let's see Gift or a Curse. 00:41:28 Speaker 2: Okay, I will tell you how we're going to play it in a minute. I need a number between one and ten. 00:41:34 Speaker 3: Four. 00:41:35 Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. Don't freak out right now. You're going to promote something, You're gonna recommend something, Do whatever you want. I'll be right back. 00:41:45 Speaker 3: Okay. Oh, this is such a pleasure to be here with you on Bridges Podcast. I will suggest that you enjoy if you haven't seen Itjesus and Marrow went to Cambridge, Massachusetts to hang out with Acclaimed uh Celebrate to tell us yo Yo Ma and they got him to play contemporary Ish music pop music and it was really great. Yo Yo Ma has incredible vibes. He played the late DMX's Rough Riders Anthem. He did Toxic by Britney Spears. It is a treat I really I had very little to do with it coming together the way it did. It looks great. Our directors did great. Our writers did great. Jesus and Marrow were so funny. It's on YouTube Jesus and Marrow interviewing Yo Yo Ma and Cambridge, Massachusetts. It said, delight, that sounds wonderful. 00:42:36 Speaker 2: I've got to watch that. 00:42:38 Speaker 3: It was all very fine. 00:42:39 Speaker 2: I was half listening you. I mean, we already talked about your podcast Make My Day. But people should be listening to that as well. 00:42:46 Speaker 3: Thank you. 00:42:46 Speaker 2: People should be following Josh on Twitter. Thank you. He's all over the place. Listen. You know, Josh really does a lot of things very well. So type his name into Google and go on a ride. 00:43:00 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's Josh Gondleman feet. 00:43:04 Speaker 2: Sure, the feet pictures you're going to see. It's just discussed astonishing. 00:43:11 Speaker 3: You're gonna be like, does this man have a face here, Josh Gondleman wife. Sure, we'll see if the internet knows you I'm married. 00:43:21 Speaker 2: To that's always an interesting uh search suggestion where they're you're like, oh, so people are now just looking for your partner. 00:43:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's I mean, my wife Maris is a writer and podcaster. But I feel like when you type in Josh gondal wife, that's all you're doing. Podcast. 00:43:42 Speaker 2: It's very Josh, Let's play gift or a curse. This is how it works. I'm gonna name three things. You're gonna tell me if there are a gift or a curse? And why? Uh, there are correct answers. People have lost the game before. I think you know, very few people have come close to that's a difficult game. It's a game that's ruined careers, marriages, et cetera. So be careful, please sure. Okay, So first up, gift a curse. And this is a listener suggestion from someone named Ryan. Okay, Ryan has suggested gift a curse. People dancing around their kitchens in movies and TV, so you know, I think this is kind of you know, there will be a song will suddenly start playing it the people, the characters in the movie are dancing around their kitchens. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: This is a curse for sure. And why because I'm not gonna lie. I've done a little kitchen dancing. But it's you know, if I put some music on when I'm cooking, maybe a little shoulder shimmy, maybe I get the hips working. But we're not talking. Never in my life have I had the house to myself and gone full Tom cruise risky business dress shirt, no pants, and if anyone does, it's an homage to Tom Cruise and risky Business. That's not a natural thing to want to do. Like again, I think it is just improper representation of dancing in the kitchen, That's what it. It's too choreographed, it's too like the knife is too involved while you're cooking. It's just not careful. I don't I think it is. It's too flamboyant. It's like the milkshake with the doughnut on top. This is for the gram. This is not how people dance on their own. 00:45:30 Speaker 2: Josh, Josh, Josh Josh. You step into the Gift for a Curse arena and you fall flat on your face. I think this is again why do I always say I think I know that this is a gift. Whatever you're experiencing in your kitchen is apparently just not enough. You're not letting go. I love to watch the people in the movie. I mean, actually Risky Business is I find that whole thing with the old time rock and roll is so annoying. That image is so ier. That song sucks that whole like I've seen that parodied into the ground. I don't ever want to see that image again, and I never want to hear that song again. And I'm sorry to even bring it up on this podcast, but it does remind me that it's one of the worst songs ever, and I need to put it in my worst songs ever playlist. That aside. Outside of that, I love to watch people dancing around in their kitchens to some annoying song, and I love to do it myself when I mean, I have to be alone. If my boyfriend's at home, I'm not dancing around the kitchen. But the moment it is I put on the music, I'm baking cookies or I'm making something to eat, I'm dancing pretty, I'm dancing a lot. Let's be honest. 00:46:46 Speaker 3: Okay, this is maybe just me, this is my experience as a person of low impact dancing. 00:46:54 Speaker 2: You've got to dance more in the kitchen. Maybe not with a knife. I think you bring up a good point there. If there's much knife action, you obviously have a death wish and no one wants to end up like having to explain to an EMT. Listen. I love the song. I got a little careless and now I'm bleeding everywhere. 00:47:13 Speaker 3: No scrubs came on while I was. 00:47:14 Speaker 2: Chopping carriers, and now four of my fingers are in the drain and. 00:47:21 Speaker 3: I'm surrounded by people wearing scrubs. I'd be so many back together. 00:47:27 Speaker 2: That's actually very appropriate, and hopefully that can happen. I bet that's somebody's dream, So, you know, hopefully that works out for someone. I don't want that to happen to me. I just want to have a nice time dancing around the kitchen. I support characters in TV and movies dancing around the kitchen. I support myself, and I encourage Joshua to do the same. I'm only going to say that when I'm mad at you. 00:47:49 Speaker 3: Okay, that's fair. That is often how it comes out. 00:47:52 Speaker 2: Okay, So look, you failed the first one, and that's totally fair. People make mistakes. Next up, gift or a curse? Okay, where is it? Oh, gift or a curse? This is another listener suggestion from somebody named Oliver. And this is when someone says, do you know who you look like? Gift or a curse? So when somebody, I guess, when they say to you, hey, do you know who you look like? 00:48:18 Speaker 3: I think I think it's a gift, okay, and it's it's telling you something about that person. It's telling you that that person doesn't know to not do that. And there's probably other stuff they don't know, like, you know, just little stuff. They're probably the kind of person who when you tell them about something you love, they go, oh, I hate that for you know, just like aggressively, and you're like, hey, man, I wasn't soliciting. I was just telling you a preferen sie. They're probably the kind of person that, like they when you go out for someone's birthday and we're like, okay, let's all split the check, except it's Jason's birthday, so we'll cover We'll cover Jason, they're probably like they quibble about that. You know, it's like this person probably just doesn't have a mastery of the subtler elements of living in society, just basic basic human interaction. You know, do you know who you look like? If you don't say one of the ten most attractive people, and not even just because I look I think the beauty standards right with there, especially for women, there's there's like such a narrow band of what we consider to be like a hot person. However, as a society. We know the cultural resonance of of when you say, do you you know who you look like? And uh, yeah, I know who I look like. You know, it's so unless it's someone that is three orders of magnitude more attractive than I actually am, I do not want to hear it. I don't need to hear anymore that I look like the late great artist Keith Herring. I don't need to hear anymore that I that I look like acclaimed filmmaker and comedic actor David Wayne. I don't need to hear anywhere that I look like Craig Fann, the lead singer of the Whole City. I know these things. I know them there that you don't need to tell me unless you're like, do you know who you look like? You look like if Stanley Duci were hotter, like a hotter. That's what you always have to do, you know what I mean? The other one that I'm always tempted to do because it's not an insult, but it's not a compliment, so I never do it. But I'll be like, I'll be like, I saw this person that looked like you, but less attractive, so I knew it wasn't you, but like, there's no way to take that right. What a worthless utterance. But I do think it often. Wow, oh, book, open and close. 00:50:59 Speaker 2: You nailed that in such a I mean thorough beautiful way. I absolutely agree. I mean your argument there is just perfect. I mean, that could have that would stand up in the Supreme Court. Absolutely a gift in that exact way, because that question is one of the most harrowing things you could possibly hear. Yeah, unless it's one of like the six objectively most gorgeous people on the planet that you're about to compare the person to shut up, just don't don't say that. No one wants to hear it. 00:51:32 Speaker 3: We all know. I've lived thirty six years on my life. I know what I look like. I've seen other people. I know which of them look like me. So it's a gift you're giving. You're giving someone the Rosetta stone to your bad personality. 00:51:46 Speaker 2: That excellent. I mean, wow, what a way to turn around the game than you. I mean, you've really just nailed it there in such an incredible way. Nobody ask that question. Cut it out. If you're if you've if you're the sort of person that asks that question, it's never too late to start a new and be better. Stop it. Okay, So number three Joshua're headed into the finals here, gift or a curse and let me I'm struggling to find and that's completely fine. I am not perfect, and the listener is patient. Gift or a curse? Here we go. They've got a lot of bomb work to do. Yes, they could wait. The bomb has still not been diffused. They're dealing with a super villain level bomb. This is another listener's suggestion. So one named Jessica, gift a curse. Families that have their own whistle to find each other in stores. Now, this is an interesting one. Very specific, Yeah, incredibly specific one, and I appreciate specificity. What do you think I'm. 00:52:55 Speaker 3: Going to say gift because any time you see a thing in the wild where you're like, I thought this was just from like TV, and not even TV that happens now, I thought this is from like fifty sitcoms and you see people doing it. I think it's like a gift to see in the wild, because that's a story like if I saw that happen, if I was in a target per se and I saw like a dad like and then you see, like his five kids all coming towards him. 00:53:31 Speaker 2: Like all of them. 00:53:33 Speaker 3: I would be like, I'm going to tell people about this. It is. It's not expected. It is. I think it's a gift in its scarcity and its specificity. I think if every time I went to Trader Joe's there was like, uh, just a plethora of families with their own different whistles and it sounded like an aviary, I would switch my answer to curse. But because of how rare this is and how strange and how like ineffective it seems. But if it works, I what a gift to behold. 00:54:08 Speaker 2: Wow, you've done it. I absolutely agree. I mean, I don't know that I've ever experienced this in any way, but the idea of it's so old fashioned and bizarre. I can only I mean, if I were a retail employee and I was constantly hearing whistling to summon the troops, probably very annoying, deeply as someone who might come across that at some point, it'll feel like an old fashioned treat. And I mean I couldn't ask for more. I think that's absolutely a gift. I mean, I'm not going to be doing it anytime soon. No, But if I have a trademark whistle, let alone one that like like activates some chip in the children's head to bring them to you in the produce section. 00:54:55 Speaker 3: Because I do love the variations of it that appear in in the real world, like if I'm at a party with my wife and you know those subtle signals of like we gotta go home, Like I love that kind of like subtle coded communication. Oh yeah, because if he feels like intimacy, it feels like people recognizing and seeing each other and like acting for the common good of the relationship. And this is like an old timey Swiss family Robinson version of that, where now it's just like you text the family group chat and everyone knows, hey, I'm at the front. I checked out already, come on. But to have a signature whistle, it's like, yeah, good on you. 00:55:40 Speaker 2: Yeah, fantastic. Anything that makes us closer to birds. I'm on board with Josh. You did a decent job there. I think I was very worried about you coming into the game, and then you did it. You've got two three, Thank you. Pretty good score, not bad, not perfect, But no one's asking No one's asking for perfection. 00:56:03 Speaker 3: Here. Thank you. 00:56:05 Speaker 2: This is the final part of the podcast. This is called I Said No Emails. People write into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. Every one of them has a question, a situation, a problem, whatever. They're seeking advice. Will you help me answer and give some advice? 00:56:21 Speaker 3: Would love you? 00:56:22 Speaker 2: Okay? This first one says, dear Bridger and disobeying guest, that's indicating you. My husband turns thirty in March of twenty twenty two, so we're planning ahead here and I want to make sure we do something special to celebrate. We love to travel, he's already been to all fifty states. We enjoy a good red wine. We have two big dogs we love spending time with. And we have no kids yet but hope to be pregnant around that time. What's the best way to celebrate turning thirty? Thanks and love the podcast. Thank you, Lara Beth or Lara Beth La You are a It's always a little confusing for me. Is Laura Laura? Is that the same name? It's hard for me to say Laura Laura, My apologies. What okay? So we're dealing with a real planner here. She's turning into the podcast a solid nine months or so. I appreciate this. 00:57:17 Speaker 3: I usually if I'm planning a vacation, I don't write into a podcast task where I should go to like two months out. 00:57:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, so her husband's going to be turning thirty. They're like, looks like they're trying to have a kid. It seems like they've got I mean, Laura, Laura, it sounds like on some level you've written into just tell me how full your life is, and congratulations. I appreciate that you've got it together in your early thirties or late twenties whatever. We don't know about. We don't know what Laura is. She might be ninety six. 00:57:52 Speaker 3: Hey, and if so, congratulations on nabbing that younger man. 00:57:56 Speaker 2: Right, but what do we think? What's a good birthday present for someone turning thirty who loves to travel? We already talked, I mean interesting, interestingly, we've talked a little bit about travel. Here you are talking to someone who has to two men who have never been to all fifty states. So we're lesser men than your husband. So just keep that in mind while we give you advice. 00:58:20 Speaker 3: I would say my advice is you're planning on having a child, lovely. I would say, do something that you will that you couldn't enjoy as much with a child. There's lots of stuff that you can do with a child that is like that is you can say that or do it again with a child. Right, Oh, Disney World, that's really fun with a kid, to appreciate their wonder even National parks, that's something that you could do with a child that their majesty. But something that is not for kids, whether that's something that's like a little more physically rigorous than a kid would want, something that children would consider boring, but like something that you're like if you had a toddler, Like, think about yourself. I know you're a planner, Laurabath, So think about yourself in a twenty twenty five you have a two and a half year old, What do you wish you could do more than anything in the world. 00:59:14 Speaker 2: Do that Josh is saying, go on a drug fueled rampage. That's what I'm hearing. Which, look, you know that could be a that's an experience. We talk a lot about giving experiences as gifts on this podcast, and that feels like one. But no, I agree with Josh here. Eventually the kid is not They're not going to be you know, they're going to be wonderful in so many ways, but they are going to I don't want to say stand in the way of certain adult activities, but look, take a traveling husband to another country. Go to a country that might be a little more difficult for a young child. That is more adult experience. So just go on a you know what are we thinking, go somewhere a little more out there. 01:00:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, go Like if they made a sequel to you know, they make a sequel to a movie where they go to like now now they're like in Europe for like National Impoon's European Vacation or whatever. If they made like a sideways where they go to Europe, like a wine taste, you know, like a wine you like red wines. Some that's definitively not for children unless they're cool kids. But I think like if something like that, like go to a place like a vineyard and stay in a villa, you know, something Italy, quaint and nice, Yeah, Italy, where a kid would be like the stinks and you're drunk. I think that's perfect. 01:00:51 Speaker 2: I find a good dog sitter, head to Italy and enjoy these last few moments where you can get on like a ten hour plane flight without worrying that the baby's going to be crying. 01:01:04 Speaker 3: Yeah, without having loaded every episode of Blue Eye onto your high path. 01:01:09 Speaker 2: Right Okay, Laurabeth answered, You've got plenty of time to do the travel planning. We don't even need to. You don't need any more advice, and do not write in again. I'm not giving any more free advice to you, Laura Beeth or Laura Beth, I don't know again. I apologize no's answer one more here. This is deer Bridger and valued guest. In over a year of quarantine, I've had the opportunity to reflect on a few things. In that time. I noticed a pattern. I have poor tastes in men who also have poor taste in gifts from lovers past. I've received pairs of socks that don't match. A washboard, complete with the promise that he'd provide Oh good lord, I hate to even say this because this sounds awful, complete with the promise that he'd provide washboard abs the next year, dot dot dot, yikes, et cetera. Oddly enough, I've received white shoes to paint on, apparently twice from two separate exes. All this is to ask you, how can I respectfully communicate to the next suitor that I'd like him to raise the bar A bit hate to say it, but I don't want to get another pair of blank canvas shoes. Help me break the cycle regards that's from Mo. MO has a type, a very strange, horrible type. It sounds like, I mean this washboard abs thing. I mean, I hope that that was just an immediate I'm dumping you. Yeah, because if you stayed in the relationship a minute after that, Mo, You've got some work to do on your sec gift. That's a horrible gift and an annoying ex boyfriend. And then how have you, Mo? How have you found two separate people who have given you white shoes to draw on? Is that part of your dating profile? 01:02:55 Speaker 3: Right? Are you? Are you an artist who works in the medium of shoes, who's even so work life balance? Guys? 01:03:05 Speaker 2: Oh, you're putting out something out there that is attracting these guys who are I don't even know what's happening. I mean, I will say, Josh, you're a big shoe person. 01:03:15 Speaker 3: I am a big shoe person. Yeah, so do you have. 01:03:17 Speaker 2: Any insight into why this could possibly be happening or is it just bad luck? 01:03:23 Speaker 3: I need to know more about Mo because I hesitate to venture. I guess, like, is she someone who designs her own clothes? Is not someone who designs their own clothes? You know? Like I don't, I don't know. If you're a crafts person who likes to do that kind of activity, still not a great gift. A gift that's also a task. 01:03:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, here's some work to do. 01:03:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, oh you want a nice ferry shoes designing yourself Bearragamo. I think I have an advice for this, which is you might not want to hear it. It might be hard to handle. Tell your partner what you want for a gift. 01:04:03 Speaker 2: I think that that is actually excellent advice communicating and obviously Mo has some level of and there's nothing wrong with that. Standards about gifts, Toto. Mo is not just going to accept any gift, especially a washboard. I mean the wash I mean, no one blames Moe for not being thrilled out getting a washboard. 01:04:26 Speaker 3: Absolute, Well, that's not on you. 01:04:29 Speaker 2: You're right, let your partner know what you want. Also, if you're if you're uncomfortable doing that, loudly talk about all these other horrible gifts you've gotten in the past, especially the shoes, because you know you've done it twice. We can't have this happen again. Just let them know how awful all these gifts have been and hopefully that will get something going in the partner's brain that, oh, I've got to be careful. 01:04:56 Speaker 3: Yes, I think, let them know that you've been burned before and you won't you won't be burned again. But also just say it if you're like I want wireless headphones, and be like, you know, I want to get a pair of wireless headphones. This would be a great birthday present. Don't feel like you have to be creative and get me like a bunch of disassembled tulips for me to glue back together, Like don't I think? I think like there's this idea that the surprise gift is like, like you want a person to know your heart so well that they that they give you the thing that you didn't know you wanted but then and that is really magical. But the next best thing is when they give you the thing you did know you wanted, because they also knew you wanted it because they care about you and want you to be happy, and they listen right like you said, bridgie communication. If you're like, oh gosh, it doesn't have to be a specific thing. You don't have to send them a link to a retail site, but you go, you know, I really have been looking for like a nice new sweater that fits these cable net cardis. Those are the marching orders. They can go off and at least work within those parameters. And even if they get you a real ugly sweater, you know they heard you and that they tried and that they weren't just like, I don't know. I got you some like gas station speed. 01:06:17 Speaker 2: Which, by the way, excellent gift. 01:06:20 Speaker 3: But you don't want to be faster at a gas station. 01:06:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, you just want to, you know, metaphorically, give them that white pair of shoes to draw on as a gift, you know, does that make any sense? You've got to give them the little canvas too to draw the gift on. Don't give them the exact thing, but something the boundaries that will lead to the gift you want, and then if it doesn't work out, then you're cursed. Apparently something's just going. I mean, there's a dark forces are working against you, and that's something you have to deal with outside of the relationship. 01:06:57 Speaker 3: And outside of the podcast. I don't think we are qualified to this, this kind of curse in nature. 01:07:04 Speaker 2: Well we've answered. You know, we've done an excellent job here Mo and Laura Laura Beth I have both received world class advice free of charge, which not a lot of podcasts can promise. So look, I don't want to diminish any other podcasts, but sometimes you just have to. Yeah, Josh, look now I have ice cream in my future. Good ice cream. I've had a wonderful time talking to you. 01:07:37 Speaker 3: This is light. 01:07:38 Speaker 2: I've got the full day ahead of me. I mean, it's only eleven o'clock for me right now. I'm going to just boost off like a rocket Jeff Bezos style and just have a wonderful day. Thank you so much for being here. 01:07:53 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. 01:07:54 Speaker 2: This is a pleasure and listener. Now it's time for you to unless it's the end of your day. I don't know. Again, I'm not going to assume anything about your life outside of the bomb situation, and I'm praying that that's taken care of. Itself. Oh, I can't even believe I brought it up at the beginning, and I apologize, but again, no one's expecting perfection. Have a terrific day. Go do something. This is the end of the podcast. Take care, goodbye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Annalise Nelson and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts. That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Ditcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do, considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to miderl dot com slash ads. 01:09:12 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear, But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty, and. 01:09:28 Speaker 3: I said, no, guess. 01:09:30 Speaker 1: Your presences presents enough that I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbey me?