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Speaker 1: You hopeless one dating app, then dares you swipe right?

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic?

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating game show that wished Game of Thrones

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Speaker 4: had more brother sister stuff. Oh show, Battle of the

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Speaker 4: Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 2: That's what no one has ever said.

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Speaker 4: That set where two of our listeners square off to

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Speaker 4: find out whose love life is the most tragic. We'll

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Speaker 4: explain the rules in just a second, but first let's

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Speaker 4: meet today's contestants. In this corner, he fills his pockets

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Speaker 4: before every date with loose salt so we can offer

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Speaker 4: to season his lady salad like a gentleman.

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Speaker 1: And that's why they call him salt lick oric.

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Speaker 2: What god, I would go dressing next time.

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Speaker 4: You know how to wow a woman.

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Speaker 1: That's true salty.

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Speaker 4: And in the other corner, he enjoys long romantic strolls

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Speaker 4: to the butcher shop and pressing his lips against the

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Speaker 4: glass of that raw meat display, say hello to salami Tommy.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad you removed your lips so we could hear

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Speaker 2: your voice.

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Speaker 4: I think that's why they call him that, But anyway,

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Speaker 4: here's how the game works. One contestant will start by

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Speaker 4: telling one of their worst date stories. The other one

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Speaker 4: try and come back and counter with a nightmare story

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Speaker 4: of their own. We're gonna go back and forth for

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Speaker 4: three rounds until we declare a winner. Starting it off

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Speaker 4: with salt liqu rick sprinkle us.

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Speaker 2: So my tender date invited me to go for a

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Speaker 2: walk in the park with her.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's cheap, I mean, doesn't cost anything. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, amazing, I show up. Turns out

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Speaker 1: she has eight dogs with her.

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Speaker 2: Is she a dog walker?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a paid dog walker. She thought. She like,

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Speaker 1: you know, double tap, Oh my god, and the only

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Speaker 1: one that's not upset. Yeah, yeah, give me them dogs?

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Speaker 2: Did you help? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: But the next hour do her eight dogs? So some

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Speaker 1: dogs had to poot more urgently. So you know, I

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Speaker 1: got blasted bags in one hand and trying to be

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Speaker 1: romantic and yeah, you were.

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Speaker 4: The bag boy for that experience.

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Speaker 1: I was schooling.

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Speaker 4: I meanth to Alexis, that's a pretty good business model.

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Speaker 3: I know you dogs lately.

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Speaker 4: With salt for good measure too. Let's keep going Salami, Tommy,

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Speaker 4: can you counter?

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Speaker 3: I had this kinder day, but she told me she

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Speaker 3: only like guys with tattoos.

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Speaker 4: Okay, do you have any?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're super tent. I am not. But she put

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Speaker 3: out a sharpie and by the time I left her house,

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Speaker 3: I had two full fake sharpie sleeps.

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Speaker 2: What you do?

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Speaker 1: Hold up, bro? Are you in middle school?

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Speaker 4: We sat there the entire time she drew on you.

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Speaker 3: You know, I was in her Let her do whatever

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Speaker 3: she wanted. Yeah, even let her give me a little

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Speaker 3: tramp stamp.

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Speaker 2: Oh, why doesn't sound like you enjoyed it so much?

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Speaker 2: Those are objectively hot.

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Speaker 4: So we're on a round too, Rick, We're back to.

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Speaker 1: You, all right.

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Speaker 2: So we went to her place to watch a movie

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Speaker 2: and inside the room was her parrot. As soon as

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Speaker 2: we start making out, the parrots start shouting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So then she kept saying, Mike's my dad.

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Speaker 2: Come on, you guys.

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Speaker 1: A parrot doesn't know. I'm hoping there's another Mike. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: It doesn't make it sound any better, honestly, how is she?

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Speaker 3: How is she not giving this bird away?

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Speaker 4: Oh God, Tommy, please get that image out of our ears.

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Speaker 3: All right? So this only time I thought, cue girl

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Speaker 3: at the bar, and I complimented her outfit and she

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Speaker 3: said thanks, But I stole it from my sister. Okay,

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Speaker 3: that's pretty normal. But bang, her sister shows off and

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Speaker 3: they get in a heated argument over it.

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Speaker 1: Broke it is.

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Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: But her sister ripped the sweater off of her and

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Speaker 3: then she poured a drink on my head. Thought it

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Speaker 3: was because I was with a thief. I was like, dude,

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Speaker 3: I just met you.

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Speaker 4: Like, yeah, a little bit of accomplice action there. Okay,

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Speaker 4: we are onto our third and final round, So gentlemen,

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Speaker 4: we need your best stories here, Rick.

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Speaker 3: What do you got?

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Speaker 2: So? I met a girl super faced. She was training

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Speaker 2: for a marathon. Cool.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know if she took it real real serious?

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Speaker 2: Okay, oh yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: During dinner she apologized. I said, what's for her?

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Speaker 2: Alarm goes off and she had to do interval training

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Speaker 2: during dinner?

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Speaker 4: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: She would have to get up and jog around the restaurant, like.

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Speaker 4: Seed, we got to work up an appetite for that

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Speaker 4: time too.

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Speaker 1: She was over with her shoulder. Boom, she runs into

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Speaker 1: a waiter with a tray point. I took my chance

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Speaker 1: and it ran out the back door. We're all running,

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Speaker 1: everybody says, they want a fit girl, but they don't

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Speaker 1: want to work that it.

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Speaker 4: Requires ends with din and dash.

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Speaker 2: That's kind of cool.

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Speaker 4: We didn't realize it was that Tommy last chance.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I had this one day bringing back of cards

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Speaker 3: to the restaurant.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's kind of fun.

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Speaker 3: Play some games.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're in the fifties shirt.

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Speaker 1: Okay, kind of yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean she challenged me to what she called a

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Speaker 3: quote unquote on poker game. Okay, I thought it was flirty,

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Speaker 3: but then she started calling me a rookie and the chump.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's a good one. Heard that in a while. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean kind of heated.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was like, you know what, we should

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Speaker 3: bet real money. We did and I lost?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh god, why did I see that coming in?

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Speaker 3: If she's traveling with a deck of cards, Yeah, she's like,

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Speaker 3: she's hustling me.

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Speaker 2: How much did you lose?

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Speaker 3: Well, so I had to pay for dinner and that

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Speaker 3: was one hundred and fifty bucks and then I had

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Speaker 3: to BENDMO for two hundred for losing in poker.

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Speaker 1: Oh dude, nice.

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Speaker 4: Wow, good for her though. Yeah, she called it chump

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Speaker 4: was right.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, she definitely wanted a second day.

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Speaker 4: The final bell that means the matches over judges. We

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Speaker 4: need to score at Alexis. Rick, I'm still scarred from

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Speaker 4: the Paris all right, we got one.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I think Marathon restaurant definitely.

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Speaker 4: Rick, I mean, congratulations, Salt Lick. You are sad boy

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Speaker 4: of the Week and has a prize. Jose will tell

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Speaker 4: you one of his favorite secret places to cry alone.

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Speaker 3: Oh anywhere, I'm.

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Speaker 1: Yes.

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Speaker 4: Well, hey, give it a try. And next time you

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Speaker 4: go on a bad date, Rick, That was Battle of

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Speaker 4: the Tender Dates text in seventy five to nine two.

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Speaker 4: If you want to appear on the next edition, your

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Speaker 4: phone TAP's coming up right after this.

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Speaker 3: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,