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Speaker 1: Welcome back to ID Part two.

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Speaker 2: On one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly Bensimon, I'm coming

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Speaker 2: to you from beautiful Lake Tahoe, and I'm thrilled to

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Speaker 2: be joined by one of my friends and repeat guests

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Speaker 2: that you know her from the Bachelorette. It's Diana Dangliano.

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Speaker 3: I love you.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking of your name is like Diana and

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Speaker 1: like a song. I don't know there's a song.

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Speaker 2: So we're podcasting from the Verbo summer House in Lake Tahoe.

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Speaker 2: Procrastinators rejoice, the early bird is not the only one

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Speaker 2: who gets the worm. Verbo offers last minute deals for

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Speaker 2: private vacation rentals verbos. Last minute deals are live on

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Speaker 2: the Verbo app and website, showing travelers at nearly three

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Speaker 2: hundred thousand discount of properties they can book with thirty

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Speaker 2: days of check in. A few destinations with plenty of

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Speaker 2: last minute booking options, including Hilton Head, South Carolina, Cape

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Speaker 2: cod Massachusetts, San Diego, Point of Irta, and of course,

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Speaker 2: Lake Tahoe. We are recording the episode inside.

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Speaker 1: A lovely Verbo.

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Speaker 2: Finding these yells is simple and last minute booking filter

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Speaker 2: in industry first for vacation rentals. Discount of vacation rentals

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Speaker 2: are also labeled with a last minute badge that displays

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Speaker 2: the amount travelers can save on their booking. Plus, travelers

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Speaker 2: never have to second guess the total cost.

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Speaker 1: Or worry about hidden fees.

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Speaker 2: Verbo displays all mandatory fees in the upfront price.

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Speaker 3: Seven other places where we're going on vacation.

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Speaker 1: I am no.

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Speaker 4: I was like, wow, all these places I know, Oh

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Speaker 4: my god.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we are.

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Speaker 2: We're here in Lake Tahoe for the Pickaball event. It's

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Speaker 2: been a ton of fun so far. Do you play

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Speaker 2: pickaball in your free time?

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Speaker 3: I did today.

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Speaker 1: You're amazing, by the way.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you saw me, but I did.

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Speaker 4: I was.

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Speaker 3: I did really well.

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Speaker 1: You had some really stellar moves. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 1: Did you dance moves were amazing?

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Speaker 3: Listen, Kelly Foot with the hair. I have to admit

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Speaker 3: at one point I looked at you from across the

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Speaker 3: court and your your hair is down, You're not sweating

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Speaker 3: a drop, and you've just got those legs for days,

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Speaker 3: and you've got your paddle, and I thought, she's a

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Speaker 3: She's a vision of beauty on the pickleball court. You're

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Speaker 3: not sweating an ounce do you're not sweat I glow.

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Speaker 3: You were glowing, ma'am. You were glowing. You You didn't

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Speaker 3: have a genuine kept your hair down the whole time.

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Speaker 1: I know I have to Is.

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Speaker 3: This all yours?

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Speaker 1: It is?

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Speaker 2: But I have I'm psoriasis, so I don't like to

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Speaker 2: like show it off.

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Speaker 1: With your hair. No, I am the horizon. It's on

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Speaker 1: my skin.

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Speaker 2: So that's why I always wore my hair down because

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Speaker 2: it's like in my back and like I even got

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Speaker 2: it in my eye today, so I'm like, okay, I'll

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Speaker 2: just like to deal with it.

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Speaker 3: Well, you have the most beautiful hair, Thank you, and

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Speaker 3: you pay you pickleball like a champ today with your

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Speaker 3: hair down the entire day.

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Speaker 1: That's really good, really really good shots. I was super impressed.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. At first, you were like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: what I'm doing. I'm like, no, no, you do, you can

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Speaker 2: do this.

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Speaker 3: I'm rather athletic. Thank you. Well you are by this,

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Speaker 3: I feel like we should be friends than you are

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Speaker 3: making me feel so good about myself today. Yes, today

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Speaker 3: was my first time playing football. It was my first

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Speaker 3: go at it, and if I'm being honest, I dominated

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Speaker 3: on the court. Uh, my team did not win, but

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Speaker 3: I'm going to blame that on Ben Higgins. It's his

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Speaker 3: fault absolutely, and he's not here to defend himself.

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Speaker 1: So you were with Ben, I was with Gary. We

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Speaker 1: had like really good teammates and we did really well.

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Speaker 3: I also just think we look really good, the four

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Speaker 3: of us, Yes, like just as ale. When you put

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Speaker 3: us next to each other, all four of us.

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Speaker 1: You're like, optically, it looks really.

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Speaker 3: Good, very pleasing to the eye, esthetically esthetically pleasing. And

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Speaker 3: we were really good. We were really good, and we

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Speaker 3: had so much fun, so much fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But like Ben was trying to get the tea for me,

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Speaker 2: He's like, what's going on in your life? I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: or playing pickleball.

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Speaker 3: I asked Ben to present me with options, and he

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Speaker 3: came alone.

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Speaker 1: That's it, that's it. He didn't bring a friend.

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Speaker 3: He didn't bring a friend. I don't know if you

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Speaker 3: know this, but he's married and he's with child.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what was Ben thinking?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: We could just spend our friendship just being friends and

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Speaker 3: talking about me dating.

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Speaker 2: So we are talking about dating and love the second

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Speaker 2: time around, if you if a guy asked you to

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Speaker 2: play pickleball on the first.

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Speaker 1: Day, what would you think?

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Speaker 3: I mean, after today, it's a solid yes for me.

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Speaker 1: Were you were great and you look really good.

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Speaker 3: God, Kelly, and.

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Speaker 1: You're flipping your hair on, looks good.

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Speaker 3: You just made me so good about myself at this.

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Speaker 1: I'd feel like you don't need that. That's not good.

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Speaker 1: That was not good.

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Speaker 3: I would have to say pickleball would be a solid

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Speaker 3: first date. Like I'm not I'm at that age where like,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to go to the bars. Please don't

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Speaker 3: take me out drinking. That's I just don't want to

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Speaker 3: do that. I don't want to watch you play other sports, right,

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Speaker 3: but like, take me to play pickleball. Yeah, I've got

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Speaker 3: a cute skirt and a shirt. I stole my pickleball

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Speaker 3: paddle from the court, so now you have that. I'm

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Speaker 3: a shoe in. Just take me.

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Speaker 2: Plus, it's a game where you can like talk to

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Speaker 2: people and you can have fun. You don't feel like

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Speaker 2: you're like stressed, and you're not like you're not sweating.

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Speaker 2: It's actually a fun thing.

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Speaker 3: Some of us sweat, Kelly, you do not, but some

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Speaker 3: of us perspire.

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Speaker 1: That's all we do is laugh. All we just do

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Speaker 1: is laugh.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, we had some we did have fun, much

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Speaker 2: fun we did. It was it was so great. So

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Speaker 2: we're gonna play twenty one questions in your I Do

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Speaker 2: Part two chapter. So number one you ready?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: If you ask a man out on the first date,

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Speaker 2: is it ever acceptable to split the bill?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm not asking a man out on a date.

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Speaker 3: I'm just not. If we're all being honest here, a

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Speaker 3: bunch of girls here, I'm not. I'm just not. So

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Speaker 3: for all of my future husbands listening, don't wait for

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Speaker 3: me to make the first move. I'm not going to

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Speaker 3: do it right. Secondly, I'm not splitting the bill on

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Speaker 3: a first date. I'm just not. Chivalry is not dead.

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Speaker 1: I totally agree.

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Speaker 3: I'm I don't mind at some point footing the bill

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Speaker 3: for dinners here and there.

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Speaker 1: Right, But like.

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Speaker 3: I I'm choosing a man because I'd like for them

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Speaker 3: to be a man, and I think there's something really

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Speaker 3: wonderful about them asking me out making plans. I've made

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Speaker 3: a lot of plans in my life, and I'm kind

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Speaker 3: of tired. I don't want to have to do that.

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Speaker 3: I'm really comfortable at home just watching TV all by

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Speaker 3: myself and eating whatever I want. Right, So, if I'm

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Speaker 3: going to go out and actually like, you know, shower,

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Speaker 3: shave my legs, ugh, better make it right. So no,

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Speaker 3: I'm not splitting the bill on the first date. And

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Speaker 3: I'm also not asking him out right.

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Speaker 1: Okay. Number two.

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Speaker 2: If a man doesn't finalize date plans or check in

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Speaker 2: ahead of scheduled date, like the morning of, does this

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Speaker 2: mean he's busy or that he's not interested?

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Speaker 3: That's tough. It's okay to be busy. Is it a

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Speaker 3: Monday through Friday? Is he at work? Is he working?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: It means he's not that interested. That's what I think.

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Speaker 1: I love your monelogue. You're like, wait a minute, let

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Speaker 1: me go through this.

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Speaker 3: Can you tell I go on a lot of dates?

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Speaker 1: So busy?

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Speaker 3: Dat, I'm so busy dating. I have so many options.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, no, no, no, I think that he

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Speaker 3: doesn't he doesn't care enough. There's there's no room for

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Speaker 3: in my world of dating me personally. If we're talking

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Speaker 3: about me, there's no room for playing games. And so

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Speaker 3: I think if like it is Friday and we have

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Speaker 3: plans to go out on Friday night and play pickle

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Speaker 3: ball right at you know, at a decent time in

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Speaker 3: the morning, ten am, Roll up, I get up early, right,

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Speaker 3: shoot me a text, Hey, I'm looking forward to seeing you.

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Speaker 3: I'll pick you up at six thirty.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: Was nothing wrong with that. I was shame of the game.

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Speaker 3: I find that very attractive.

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Speaker 1: I think so too. I mean, I chose confidence.

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Speaker 3: I like that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like if they're like, wait and then

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Speaker 2: they'll like see you like four o'clock and they'll see

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Speaker 2: you at six, I'd be like, I've kind of been

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Speaker 2: waiting to see if you're confirming or not all day.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry. At four pm, I'm already in the mindset

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Speaker 3: that I'm taking a bath and going to bed. So

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Speaker 3: if I haven't heard from you by four pm, you

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Speaker 3: can just not ever call again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to like explore that later, because that's

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Speaker 2: like a really good, really good point. Okay, number three,

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Speaker 2: how long should you be dating someone? To bring up

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Speaker 2: the topic money, debt and credit scores?

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Speaker 3: I don't think I'm the person for this question, Kelly.

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Speaker 3: I also think I was just having this conversation. I

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Speaker 3: also think because I genuinely don't think I ever want

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Speaker 3: to get married again. And again you and I have

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Speaker 3: talked about this. I'm not dating for someone else's paycheck.

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Speaker 3: I'm just not I'm not trying to date someone who's broke.

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Speaker 1: I would.

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Speaker 3: I like nice things. I like to eat good food.

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Speaker 3: I really love to travel and I need someone who

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Speaker 3: can do that. But I'm not looking for someone to

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Speaker 3: put the bill. That's a good way to put it.

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Speaker 3: I have a really great credit score, so I don't

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Speaker 3: mind sharing that, but.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't say.

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Speaker 3: I mean it worked really hard in my whole life.

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Speaker 3: I worked really hard for everything I've got, and I

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Speaker 3: worked really hard for my credit score, and I'm really

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Speaker 3: proud of it. But it's not something that i'm sharing.

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Speaker 3: And I think if I it was twenty years ago

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Speaker 3: and I was looking at marrying someone, those things would

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Speaker 3: probably be a priority to me. But it's just not now.

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Speaker 3: I have my own money, I have my own checking account,

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Speaker 3: I have my own credit score, which is really great,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not putting the bill for anyone. I'm just

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Speaker 3: not going to do it.

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Speaker 2: I love that, Okay, So dating someone that has money,

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Speaker 2: debt or credit scores like that just doesn't work for me.

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Speaker 2: Like I don't want to be with someone that has debt.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be footing someone's bill.

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Speaker 1: I just don't.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've you know, provided for my kids, and

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Speaker 2: I'm so proud of that. And you know, we're very

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Speaker 2: similar in that way that I just want, you know,

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Speaker 2: I want like even footing. I don't want to be

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Speaker 2: my back foot when I'm with when them with a guy.

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Speaker 2: I just want to feel good and get to know

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Speaker 2: them and learn about, you know, us, how we could

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Speaker 2: be together. I don't want any kind of like extra

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Speaker 2: extra things that are coming in. They're like, you know,

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Speaker 2: things that are coming in and be like, oh my god, Like,

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Speaker 2: by the way, we can't buy a house because I

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Speaker 2: have bad credit score or something, you know what I

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Speaker 2: mean something.

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Speaker 3: I think it's safe to say we are no longer

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Speaker 3: twenty two.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: Therefore, I'm not going out to Chipotle because it's cheaper

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Speaker 3: than the new restaurant that opened up in New York City.

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Speaker 3: If I want to eat out somewhere, I have the

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Speaker 3: funds to pay for it. And I don't want to

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Speaker 3: sound terrible when I say it, but I also need

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Speaker 3: someone to match that game.

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Speaker 1: Right, what's wrong with that?

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Speaker 3: What's wrong with that?

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Speaker 1: Nothing? I'm pretty I think it's great. I do too, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean the same way. I'm just that's not what

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Speaker 1: I want. So if someone has a lot of debt,

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Speaker 1: should that be a red flag?

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, it's a red flag. Yes, because you know

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Speaker 3: what else. I also don't want what to take on

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Speaker 3: anyone else's debt.

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Speaker 1: Right, yeah, because if something happens to them, you're responsible for.

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Speaker 3: It's a huge red flag. I will tell you. I

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Speaker 3: very early on went on a date and this guy

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Speaker 3: and I had talked and we had made plans to

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Speaker 3: go out, and then like the day before we were

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Speaker 3: supposed to gud he called me and he was like,

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Speaker 3: this whole forty five minute conversation and if you know

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Speaker 3: anything about me, I do not like to talk on

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Speaker 3: the telephone. I'm a Texter, right, I just don't have time.

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Speaker 3: My time is very valuable.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: And towards the end of the conversation, he let me

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Speaker 3: know that he lives with his mom and.

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Speaker 1: Dad in the basement forty eight.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm in his.

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Speaker 1: In the same room. I was in the same room

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Speaker 1: they'd grow up in.

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Speaker 3: I don't didn't ask enough at that point, I was like.

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Speaker 1: Is there a Teddy Bear on the bed.

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Speaker 3: I believe that this is not going in the direction

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Speaker 3: for us. I cannot date someone who lives at home

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Speaker 3: with mom and dad. But I just can't.

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Speaker 1: Just did he say why or you?

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Speaker 3: Just he told me why? And it sounds like he

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Speaker 3: had some hardship, which I have grace. It just doesn't

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Speaker 3: suit me. But I'm not making out on mom and

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Speaker 3: Dad's couch. I'm just not. I'm not. I love that. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I have two kids, Kelly.

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Speaker 1: I know I don't want to right. No, I love that.

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Speaker 2: So if you want to get married again at number five,

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Speaker 2: if you want to get married again, but the person

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Speaker 2: you are newly dating has express expressed that they don't

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Speaker 2: see themselves getting married again, should you follow that information

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Speaker 2: away and bring it up later or end the relationship Now?

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Speaker 3: I feel like you asked this to my future dater

294
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Speaker 3: because I'm the person who doesn't want to get married.

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Speaker 1: Now, I wait a minute, she's gonna say I don't

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Speaker 1: want to get married.

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Speaker 3: I do everyone a solid if marriage and kids is

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Speaker 3: what you're looking for or I'm not it right, I

299
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Speaker 3: can be a great partner. I believe in partnership and companionship.

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Speaker 3: I believe in monogamy. Right, I don't need the sheet

301
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,839
Speaker 3: of paper if that's what you're looking for. And I

302
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,720
Speaker 3: for sure don't want to have your babies. I just

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Speaker 3: don't I have to. And I feel really great, My

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00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,800
Speaker 3: life feels full forty four almost. I don't going to

305
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Speaker 3: be pregnant again.

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Speaker 1: I just don't, right, So.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I say, I say, laid on the table right away.

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Speaker 3: What I mean, what do you think? Well?

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Speaker 2: I love that you have boundaries, that's you know, and

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Speaker 2: I have boundaries, and I think that there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of you know, there's a lot of women out there

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Speaker 2: that just don't and you know, I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be I just you know, I want to be with

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Speaker 2: a partner. I want a Do.

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Speaker 3: You get married again?

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent?

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Speaker 3: That was me almost falling off of my chair.

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Speaker 2: I would, even though my daughter, my daughter Teddy said, Mom,

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Speaker 2: don't get married again, but I would, Yes, definitely with

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Speaker 2: a prenup and everything with a prenap. But also like

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Speaker 2: to real human like to a person that like I

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00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,840
Speaker 2: had respect for and that I felt comfortable with and

323
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Speaker 2: that I didn't have live in fear, like I feel

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Speaker 2: like a lot of the guys that I've dated in

325
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Speaker 2: the past, you know they they brought a lot of fear.

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Speaker 3: I mean, mark my words, if we end up here

327
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Speaker 3: back next year and I've met the love of my

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Speaker 3: life and he has big arms and he keeps me safe,

329
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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, emotionally and physically. Maybe else,

330
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:31,040
Speaker 3: maybe I'll sing a different tune, like look at me,

331
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Speaker 3: look at me. I'm sorry, did you want to put

332
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,040
Speaker 3: a ring on it? Maybe I will. Maybe I surprised myself.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you're like from the first time that

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Speaker 2: we spoke, I feel like the way that you're you are,

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00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:47,440
Speaker 2: you are just like in every aspect, you're just like

336
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Speaker 2: like very like light and like.

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00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:51,880
Speaker 1: Super positive, and I mean, you look so.

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Speaker 2: Great, and you just feel like you're like you're in

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00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,160
Speaker 2: a really good time in your life.

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Speaker 3: No, how much are they paying you?

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Speaker 1: No, don't you feel like that. I'm serious.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm in a really great time in

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Speaker 3: my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel we spent a lot of time together and

346
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:06,840
Speaker 2: I just feel like you're in a really, really good space.

347
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Speaker 3: I think there is a lot of beauty in knowing

348
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,680
Speaker 3: exactly who you are. You know, and I have also

349
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,480
Speaker 3: said this a thousand times. I'm not twenty five anymore.

350
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,560
Speaker 3: When I was the bachelorette. I was impressionable. Even though

351
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 3: I still think that at my core, I was who

352
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,160
Speaker 3: I was then that I am now. I just am

353
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,520
Speaker 3: way more confident in it now, and I'm not willing

354
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:33,640
Speaker 3: to bend or break who I am for anyone, right,

355
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,960
Speaker 3: Like those people go in and come out of your

356
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,360
Speaker 3: life for a reason, And I don't have to be

357
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,160
Speaker 3: everyone's cup of tea. I'm okay with that, right. But

358
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,480
Speaker 3: I also think I'm pretty great and I'm really kind,

359
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,760
Speaker 3: and I have some really redeeming qualities. But I don't

360
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,920
Speaker 3: have to be for everyone, and that's okay with me.

361
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Speaker 2: Well, like today when we're after pick a ball and

362
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:54,840
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, you're just so much fun.

363
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,720
Speaker 1: You're like I am fun. I was like, oh my god,

364
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Speaker 1: I love that. I love that the I love.

365
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:05,360
Speaker 2: The confidence, all right. Number six. If you've been dating

366
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,359
Speaker 2: someone for six months and their children who are teenagers

367
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,600
Speaker 2: or older don't get along with you, is this a

368
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,160
Speaker 2: sign the relationship won't work out long term? This is

369
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:15,600
Speaker 2: a tough one.

370
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 3: That is very tough. I haven't had the pleasure of

371
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 3: dating anyone with children. I have it easy, and I

372
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,400
Speaker 3: guess if I have attempted to date anyone with children.

373
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,640
Speaker 3: I've not been put in a position to meet their children.

374
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 3: I can only say this as I came from divorced

375
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,000
Speaker 3: parents who both dated. My dad remarried, you know what

376
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,800
Speaker 3: I mean, and my mother dated someone with children, and

377
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,320
Speaker 3: I would imagine it was difficult to date. There were

378
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,040
Speaker 3: three of us and we were wild, so I can't

379
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 3: imagine it was really easy on anyone else. I don't know,

380
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:52,080
Speaker 3: because I think if it were me, and I love

381
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 3: my children and they're pretty freaking great, if they came

382
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 3: to me and they were like, mom, Billy Bob is

383
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,880
Speaker 3: really a turd and we don't like him, I think

384
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,520
Speaker 3: I would take that to heart, Like I think that

385
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,520
Speaker 3: would I would that would like really resonate with me.

386
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,359
Speaker 1: But we're not talking like Billy Beparton.

387
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:10,360
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, but listen, I could give him

388
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:13,439
Speaker 3: a shot. I've have so many options right now. But

389
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:14,240
Speaker 3: what am I doing?

390
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:15,239
Speaker 4: I don't know.

391
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,119
Speaker 3: Don't you think your girls are old enough to be

392
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,240
Speaker 3: like judges of character?

393
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:18,639
Speaker 4: It was?

394
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,520
Speaker 2: It was difficult for my kids. They were definitely very

395
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,399
Speaker 2: verbal about you know one of you know, a couple

396
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,119
Speaker 2: of the guys that I had been dated that they

397
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,040
Speaker 2: were just like, mom, this is not the vibe.

398
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,640
Speaker 1: And so I was just like, okay, you're done.

399
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,439
Speaker 3: Now let me ask you, because I've never introduced anyone

400
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,520
Speaker 3: to my children, did you wait a specific amount of

401
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,960
Speaker 3: time to introduce someone to your to your children? I

402
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,040
Speaker 3: realize yours are a little bit older than mine.

403
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,440
Speaker 2: Right, So, but you know, I've been single for since

404
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,159
Speaker 2: the ice age. Man, I have been single forever.

405
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,520
Speaker 1: Oh oh my god, what's gonna happen to me?

406
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,560
Speaker 2: It's funny because like we were talking before, and we

407
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,280
Speaker 2: were talking about like just knowing me, and you're like,

408
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,119
Speaker 2: I didn't even know you were Mary who you're married to?

409
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 1: You know, what was this person?

410
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,360
Speaker 2: So you know, it's been single for a long time.

411
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 2: And when you know, when I was younger, uh, you know,

412
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,959
Speaker 2: I was on Housewives and we were busy and there

413
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 2: were a lot of people coming in and out of

414
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,480
Speaker 2: you know, out of the apartment for work, and they

415
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:14,199
Speaker 2: never knew like who anyone was. They they said that

416
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,199
Speaker 2: to me, They were like, we never even knew until

417
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,919
Speaker 2: like recently, I said, oh, these are the guys that

418
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,479
Speaker 2: I liked. And I was, you know, you know, we

419
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:23,359
Speaker 2: were dating a little bit and then my daughter.

420
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,880
Speaker 1: I guess my two daughters like ranked them just kind

421
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 1: of charming but also awful. Oh my god, I don't

422
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 1: want to hear the list.

423
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 3: But did you wait a specific time before? I mean,

424
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,600
Speaker 3: girls are older, so you probably share more with them.

425
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,280
Speaker 3: I'm asking more so for myself.

426
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,800
Speaker 1: Because my last relationship, Yes, I waited a while you.

427
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 3: Did, Like are we talking like six months? Are we

428
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 3: talking like a year?

429
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,000
Speaker 2: No, we're talking like you know. I mean, they were older,

430
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,400
Speaker 2: so it was like, you know, a couple of months,

431
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,920
Speaker 2: but not just like right away. I think that I

432
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 2: think that my personal opinion on this is that it's

433
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 2: not necessarily about the children. It's more about the relationship

434
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 2: has to evolve and has to like really start to like,

435
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 2: you know, move into some another you know, and move

436
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 2: into something else. Like I'm not just going to be like, hey,

437
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,040
Speaker 2: you're cute, I'm cute. Let's have fun, Like that's not ground.

438
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 3: I guess I just think I don't want a revolving

439
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 3: door for my children. But I've also, Kelly listened to

440
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 3: far too many crime podcasts to like have anyone around

441
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,359
Speaker 3: the children, Like maybe I'm there's something wrong with me.

442
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 2: No, but you're right because you are the provider, and

443
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 2: you're also you're both you know, you were both hats

444
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 2: and so it's that's not you know, it's not easy,

445
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 2: and I and I respect you for that, And I

446
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,120
Speaker 2: think that's really admirable because most women, especially in.

447
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 1: New York, they're like kids, who cares? I need to

448
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:34,719
Speaker 1: get married?

449
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 2: Like I need, I need a new Amex, And it's

450
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 2: just like, that's not my vibe.

451
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't think I don't want another Amex. Yeah,

452
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 3: I just think I'm.

453
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 1: Okay, E, me too.

454
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 2: You.

455
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,120
Speaker 1: We're both good with that. Okay.

456
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,160
Speaker 2: Number seven, how long should you be dating somebody before

457
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,160
Speaker 2: you travel with them?

458
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,560
Speaker 3: I don't know because I really like to travel.

459
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,159
Speaker 2: So if you met someone you were like, this guy's great,

460
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,920
Speaker 2: and he was like, let's on a trip next week,

461
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:01,440
Speaker 2: would you go?

462
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah? But listen, seventy two hours is way different than

463
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 3: having someone over from six to ten. That's very different.

464
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 3: I think it has to be a personality thing for

465
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 3: me because because I I listen, I have control issues

466
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,640
Speaker 3: that must be shocking for you to hear.

467
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: Shocking.

468
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,199
Speaker 3: But I got some we got a few things. But

469
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 3: I think that you would genuinely have to know someone

470
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,560
Speaker 3: to go and travel and stay in a hotel room

471
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 3: with them because I do. I like like my things

472
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 3: in a certain way. I like it really cold. I

473
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 3: like jack the air down as cold as it can

474
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 3: possibly be. I don't unpack. I like all of my

475
00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: things in one place so I know where they are.

476
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 3: And then to have a human being that I don't

477
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 3: really know disrupting that.

478
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 1: You're like, what are you doing? Why do you move

479
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,360
Speaker 1: my tooth brush?

480
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 3: My tooth bersh on the left side of this thing,

481
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,640
Speaker 3: So don't touch my toothbrush.

482
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 1: You weird. No, it's over. You move my tooth brush.

483
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:53,040
Speaker 1: It's done.

484
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know.

485
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: I travel with the kids.

486
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like I have select few girlfriends that I

487
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 3: can enjoy for like days on end. That's a tough one,

488
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 3: given up. It depends on where we're going, you know,

489
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,160
Speaker 3: like Mexico, Like you're going to Cabo. I can lay

490
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,040
Speaker 3: out by the pool all day to see you peter

491
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 3: down at the beach. I need a break. But if

492
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 3: it's like Idaho and it's cold.

493
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,600
Speaker 1: About what about Like, oh my god, I have to

494
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:22,800
Speaker 1: go to Paris tomorrow. Would you come? Yeah?

495
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:23,880
Speaker 3: I'd go for sure.

496
00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:24,679
Speaker 1: Yes?

497
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:29,639
Speaker 3: Are we going first? Class. Absolutely absolutely.

498
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: I love that. I love that. Cobo was like, oh yeah, okay,

499
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 1: So number eight.

500
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 2: Rank these things that are from the most important to

501
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 2: the least important in chapter two, dating, intimacy, quality time,

502
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 2: date night, the spark, communication.

503
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:56,119
Speaker 3: I can't possibly rank those. Let me look at the

504
00:21:56,119 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 3: list again, most important to least important. This is really hard.

505
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 3: Starting with most important, I would go with communication. I

506
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 3: was just gonna say that it sounds boring, but in

507
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,639
Speaker 3: the long run, if we're looking at the long run, yes,

508
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 3: communication is very important, right, So I'm going to go

509
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 3: with that most important. Communication. Next up is going to

510
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 3: be intimacy for me too. I've had I want to

511
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,560
Speaker 3: be careful here what I say, but I am in

512
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 3: a phase of my life where I would really like

513
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 3: to enjoy intimacy. Am I saying that in a very

514
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 3: polite way.

515
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 4: You are, Yes, I.

516
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,320
Speaker 3: Would like to enjoy intimacy at my age. So I'm

517
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 3: going to go communication intimacy your age.

518
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,159
Speaker 2: Don't say that, because it's like, I just want to

519
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 2: enjoy enjoy intimacy. You're beautiful and young, and like I'm

520
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:50,160
Speaker 2: just thinking.

521
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,640
Speaker 3: About like when I was twenty two. I don't know, okay,

522
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,960
Speaker 3: my own body I didn't know what was where that's

523
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 3: what you do, and then yeah, oh you don't come

524
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 3: at me with that thing. But now I'm welcoming. But okay,

525
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 3: now I'm like, yeah, absolutely, communication, intimacy I'm gonna go with.

526
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 3: Quality time is very important to me. I think it's

527
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:19,120
Speaker 3: my love language. Love quality time. I'm going to go

528
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,920
Speaker 3: next to the spark and then to date night. I'm

529
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:24,440
Speaker 3: not even going to rank a date night because I

530
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 3: think that's a given people. Just a date night can

531
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 3: be very different, you know what I mean. You can

532
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,439
Speaker 3: go out to dinner. I'm not a traditional dater, and

533
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's just because I was on

534
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 3: the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and now I'm traumatized for

535
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 3: the rest of my life. But I find it a

536
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 3: traditional date like high, let's go meet for drinks and

537
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,119
Speaker 3: talk until we're blue in the face. Sometimes that bores me, Like,

538
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 3: let's think outside of the box. Let's do something different.

539
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 3: So I think there's a billion way sideways to do

540
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 3: a date night. Okay, now you rank them.

541
00:23:53,760 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 2: It's important rank I think that yes, definitely, communication, Uh, definitely, intimacy,

542
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,720
Speaker 2: the spark is really important to me. Quality time and

543
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:13,280
Speaker 2: date night are kind of the same thing. But I

544
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: want to be with someone that I really want to

545
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:15,640
Speaker 2: be with.

546
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I you know.

547
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:23,359
Speaker 2: When you are working female and you're also you know, trying.

548
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 2: You know, even though my girls are older, I'm still

549
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,639
Speaker 2: their parents. I still talk to them all day long

550
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 2: and trying to, you know, help guide them and make

551
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 2: good decisions.

552
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 1: And I, you know, still have a lot of fear.

553
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: I want them to do well, and.

554
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 2: I worry about them clearly, and so you know, I

555
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 2: want to be with someone that makes me feel good.

556
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 3: Valuable, Yes, you know what I mean, like monetary.

557
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,040
Speaker 2: I want someone that's like, you look gorgeous.

558
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 3: Like oh my god, you know what I like.

559
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,120
Speaker 1: I like to say.

560
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 2: They never tell me I'm pretty. Ever they're like, you

561
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 2: stop it right now, I swear to god. They never

562
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, that's nice, like.

563
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:02,199
Speaker 3: You're not hanging out with the right men because you

564
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 3: are stunning cute.

565
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 2: But you know what I mean, Like that kind of

566
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: stuff means something to me, like something I want to

567
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: look good for.

568
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 1: Them, I do.

569
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: Do you know what our word is? What we want

570
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,720
Speaker 3: to be cherished? Yes, we want to be cherished.

571
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 1: I love that.

572
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:19,840
Speaker 3: Yes, I want to be cherished. Yes, yes, we're leaving

573
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 3: twenty to twenty five with that's our word cherish, cherish cherish,

574
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: yes or don't?

575
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:29,720
Speaker 1: Okay? So number nine, what is it?

576
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 2: What is a small thing people tend to overlook but

577
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 2: in reality is a huge sign in a relationship that

578
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 2: a relationship isn't good.

579
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 3: How codependent they are on their family would be a

580
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 3: good starter. Okay, So I think it's a pretty huge

581
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 3: red flag. Huge codependency is a huge red flag to me. Yeah, yeah,

582
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 3: I need a I need an individual. I need someone

583
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,120
Speaker 3: who can stand on their own two legs. I need

584
00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 3: a confident man.

585
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: Respect for their family is great, But yes, I don't

586
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 2: want someone that's like holding one second, I guess as

587
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:02,800
Speaker 2: my mom everything.

588
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I lived in a marriage where everyone had a

589
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 3: seat at the table. Everyone had a seat at the table,

590
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 3: they got a vote at the end of the day.

591
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 3: I don't want that, right. I believe that in a

592
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 3: relationship it should lie between the two people in it.

593
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,719
Speaker 2: So wait, every wait, wait, wait, I'm sorry. You were

594
00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,239
Speaker 2: a relationship where everyone in his family had told you,

595
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 2: guys what you were doing.

596
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a seat at the table and everyone got one.

597
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: And so then when you when you went home, we

598
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 2: were like, I'm not doing that, or I think it.

599
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 3: Took me a minute to get to that point. I

600
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 3: don't think I've realized at the time that that's what

601
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,600
Speaker 3: was happening, right, don't I don't think I realized at

602
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 3: the time.

603
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that's not easy. That's not easy.

604
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: I mean that goes back to what you just said

605
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: about Cherish. So number ten, do you think people can

606
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 2: have different religious beliefs and have a successful relationship or

607
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 2: is that a fundamental is it? Or is that if

608
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 2: memmom that needs to be aligned.

609
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 3: I would say for me, it's a fundamental thing that

610
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 3: needs to be aligned. I am a Christian.

611
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 1: I don't hide that.

612
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 3: I would love someone who loves Jesus the Lord. That's

613
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,640
Speaker 3: where I go for me and only me personally. I'm

614
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,879
Speaker 3: sure it works for other people. I won't be able

615
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 3: to relate probably with someone who does not practice Christianity.

616
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:29,159
Speaker 3: That is the home I want to live in. That

617
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 3: is how I raise my children, and that's the kind

618
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 3: of relationship that I personally would like to be in.

619
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,639
Speaker 3: For me, that works for me, that is important to me.

620
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 3: I don't know what you think.

621
00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: So I call it spiritual integrity.

622
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 2: My ex husband is Jewish, my girls are half Jewish.

623
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:51,199
Speaker 2: I'm Catholic, and I just kind of gave myself this

624
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 2: grace to just be open to a lot of different

625
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 2: religions as long as there is like beauty and love

626
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 2: and people that and respect.

627
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: You know, how did you celebrate Christmas?

628
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 4: Though?

629
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 2: We celebrated Christmas because I celebrated Christmas. But you know,

630
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 2: if you know, because that's kind of that was a holiday.

631
00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 2: You know, my ex husband was It's not like he was,

632
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,600
Speaker 2: you know, he wasn't a practicing Jewish man. He was

633
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 2: he you know, becamet. He converted to Judaism later on,

634
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 2: and I just was like, this is what I'm doing

635
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 2: and this is how I'm doing it, and they're my children. Yeah,

636
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:32,960
Speaker 2: so I'm I support you and Hanukkah, but I also

637
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 2: need to be respectful of.

638
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: My family and our religion.

639
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, updated people in the past, did you convert? No? No,

640
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: I wouldn't. No.

641
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 2: No.

642
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:45,320
Speaker 3: I feel like also with where I'm at in my

643
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 3: life and who I am and confident in myself, I

644
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 3: also have a really wonderful walk with Christ and that's

645
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 3: I just don't see myself deviating from that that is

646
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 3: what I believe in. Well, right, those are those are

647
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 3: my beliefs. That is how I am raising my children,

648
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 3: and it's important to me. It would be important to

649
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 3: me in a relationship.

650
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

651
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I just want my girls to be respectful

652
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 2: and kind and have spiritual integrity, no matter whatever they

653
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 2: choose to do with their own lives or whoever they

654
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: choose to be with. I just want that person to

655
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: I don't want them to be with an atheist. I

656
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 2: would that would really really upset me. Number eleven, what's

657
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,800
Speaker 2: one thing you think men fifty plus need to lighten

658
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 2: up on when it comes to dating.

659
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 1: It's more than one thing. Did I say that loud?

660
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 3: I don't think I've I think I've only been on

661
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 3: a date with fifty plus like maybe twice.

662
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, And what did you think?

663
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 3: This is going to really sound terrible? I don't know

664
00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 3: if I'm just attracted to younger guys. It sounds so bad.

665
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,080
Speaker 3: I kind of I kind of felt like I was

666
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 3: on a date with an old man, right, I did.

667
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,959
Speaker 3: And it was like it was down to like, oh there.

668
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 3: You know how when you're on a date sometimes there's

669
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 3: just things that just like that's it, Like, that's just

670
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 3: a And I went on a date one time. This

671
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 3: this dude was wearing shorts and tennis shoes.

672
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: I have a you went on a date with you

673
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 1: in shorts and ten shit.

674
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 3: It was like our third or fourth date, our third

675
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 3: or fourth date. And I broke up with a guy

676
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 3: once because he wore kse Swiss with blue jeans. It's

677
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,800
Speaker 3: just my own It's.

678
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 2: Like it's optics of the case Swiss with blue jeans

679
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 2: are now.

680
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 3: So terribly superficial, and I am so sorry forgive me,

681
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 3: but you know how, there are just certain things that

682
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 3: you just can't get past. And I had a thing

683
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 3: when I was younger with guys who wore white sneakers

684
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 3: case Swiss in particular, and wore them and this. You know,

685
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 3: I'm forty four almost, so this was back when like

686
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,040
Speaker 3: cargo jeans forty three, cool forty three and.

687
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 1: Why are you aging yourself?

688
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 3: I know, And I just it was I couldn't get

689
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 3: past the white tennis shoes and the blue jeans. So

690
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 3: also this older guy and I think he was like

691
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 3: fifty six, so he's but you know, and it was

692
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,040
Speaker 3: like our third or fourth date, and we were going

693
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 3: to the music thing. And when he showed up, he

694
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 3: had on like khaki cargo shorts and tennis shoes, not

695
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 3: even like cool ones, like some nikes, like his running shoes.

696
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah wow. And all night.

697
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 3: I was just like, Oh, yeah, he's got his nikes on.

698
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:30,160
Speaker 3: He's going running. Where did he go?

699
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: Where's he going?

700
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 3: I tried to relatively look attractive, you know what I mean,

701
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 3: Like I tried to look and he was just like,

702
00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 3: didn't care if that's not that's right for a job, dude.

703
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 3: And I couldn't get past it. I totally also, Kelly

704
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,360
Speaker 3: should tell you it wasn't meant to be.

705
00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 2: I know, but I'm I'm like that. I mean, I

706
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: definitely judge men by the way they look. I'm ideal

707
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,120
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, by their shoes. I mean, I'm always like,

708
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: it's just one thing that.

709
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 3: Don't think I'm not being judged when I walk in

710
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 3: if my hair is not done, or I'm not wearing

711
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 3: a full face of makeup, or my ass is too big,

712
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: don't think I'm not being judged.

713
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: I definitely agree with you that if a guy, I mean,

714
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 2: if I am, if I'm making the effort, then.

715
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: He can make the effort. I totally agree with you.

716
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:13,640
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, shower, wash your hair, slap on a little colone, Yeah,

717
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 3: wear your sneakers. But like, let them be cool, right.

718
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: I think that for me, what happens with a lot

719
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 2: of men in their fifties is that because I'm in

720
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 2: my fifties and you know, I'm not judging them, like

721
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 2: I'm not judging them for the relationships that they've had.

722
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 1: I just want to know them.

723
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 2: And I think what happens is because they're dating a

724
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 2: lot of different women's a lot of different women from

725
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: a lot of different ages, is that they want they

726
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:42,400
Speaker 2: think that trauma, bonding with a past narrative or saying

727
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 2: something about an ex is going to make you be

728
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: like open up.

729
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, no, no, I don't want to

730
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 1: open up about my ex.

731
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 2: Like I will talk to you about that later on

732
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 2: if we start to date and have a serious conversation

733
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: about how it affected me and you know what my

734
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 2: thoughts are, But I'm not going to be like, yeah,

735
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: let me just like you know, shut on my ex

736
00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 2: because you want to shu on your ex to make.

737
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: Yourself feel better. That's a big thing.

738
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 3: If we're when we're done here, we need to write

739
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 3: a book on dating one oh one, yes.

740
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: But like todating, we're down.

741
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 3: There are certain things that are common sense, right, there

742
00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:20,880
Speaker 3: are certain things that are common sense. And on the

743
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 3: first couple of dates we'd talk about about my past

744
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 3: relationships or my ex husband on a date is not

745
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 3: that's not a good look.

746
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:30,440
Speaker 1: How does that make you?

747
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: Do you think do men think that women are more

748
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 2: attractive if they're word vomiting. I definitely don't see them

749
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: as attractive. I'm like, oh, here we go.

750
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: I'm just a part of the therapy session. It's just

751
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 3: it's just a dinner. We're all egotistical. Humans are egotistical.

752
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:49,120
Speaker 3: We believe that our thoughts are more important, our beliefs

753
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 3: are more important, our opinion is more important. How many

754
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 3: times do you sit down and do a podcast and think, oh, yeah,

755
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:55,320
Speaker 3: I make not of that. I want to say that,

756
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 3: I want to respond with that versus hearing what someone

757
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 3: is sharing. Right. We are egotistical, is who we are.

758
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 3: And when people do that, they believe that we really

759
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:09,879
Speaker 3: give a flying who was in the wrong when their

760
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 3: relationship didn't work, So they feel the need to tell

761
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 3: it so that you think that they're a good person

762
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 3: so that you think they're good at relationships, they feel

763
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 3: the need to.

764
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: Tell you that they were wrong. But I'm more in

765
00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 2: the I'm like, if it's show and tell I want

766
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: to see the show. You don't need to tell me.

767
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,800
Speaker 2: I can already see it. Yeah, Like, if you're a

768
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 2: good person, you don't need to tell me that you're

769
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 2: a good person. I can tell by your mannerisms, by

770
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 2: your manner, by how kind you are to a waiter,

771
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,840
Speaker 2: you know those, I can see with my own eyes

772
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:45,720
Speaker 2: what you're doing that's, you know, kind. I can also,

773
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:47,759
Speaker 2: you don't need to tell me how kind you are,

774
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh, yeah.

775
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 3: I'm fun and I'm kind.

776
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:54,839
Speaker 1: I am so fine.

777
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 3: I'm so fine, I'm so kind, I'm so kind, and

778
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm so fine. I'm doing really well.

779
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I'm doing great.

780
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,600
Speaker 3: Great, Oh my god, that's great for you.

781
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 2: So what's one thing you think women in their fifties

782
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 2: need to lighten up on when it comes to dating.

783
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 3: Money. I think women in their fifties who are single

784
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 3: in particular focus on money. They are looking for a

785
00:35:18,560 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 3: man who is financially sound, financially stable, and has the

786
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 3: money and the wealth to take care of them.

787
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,800
Speaker 1: They're chasing the AMX. Yes, I agree with you.

788
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 2: What are the three things you should you should be

789
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,439
Speaker 2: able to know about someone after one date? Oh god,

790
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:33,360
Speaker 2: I got in trouble for this.

791
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 3: Did you go first?

792
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 2: No?

793
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,800
Speaker 3: No, you go first? This is yours?

794
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: These are your questions?

795
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh. Three things you should walk away knowing

796
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 3: of their name wouldn't be super important. I can't tell

797
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,600
Speaker 3: you how many times I walk away and they don't

798
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:47,400
Speaker 3: know my name, right?

799
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: They don't say your name?

800
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't know my name, right?

801
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 1: Okay, remember your name? Okay, really doing well?

802
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 3: Right? Your name?

803
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 1: Don't know your game?

804
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 3: Okay? They should that I have children. They should know that,

805
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 3: and I don't know.

806
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

807
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 2: They should know you have Yeah, you says you definitely

808
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 2: know your name. I should definitely know you have children.

809
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 2: And I think that there should be some kind of

810
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 2: baseline understanding of like who you are. They should have

811
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 2: They should kind of have a I should know they're

812
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 2: more like their baseline compass, and they should know.

813
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 3: Mine a baseline compass. I really like that.

814
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 1: No, don't you think?

815
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to take that a baseline compass.

816
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 2: Like here, like even if it's just a casual like

817
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 2: here are a couple of lines in the sand that I.

818
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 3: Will not put up with or I'm going to.

819
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,160
Speaker 1: Be They're like, oh, okay, I can I can see

820
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: who you are?

821
00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 3: You know, yeah, on my next date, I'm going to

822
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,840
Speaker 3: make sure they know my baseline compass, A.

823
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: Moral compass, my moral compass, just.

824
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,320
Speaker 3: My compass in general?

825
00:36:57,520 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 1: What are three things you should be able to Okay? Sorry?

826
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 2: And in your opinion, in your number fourteen? In your opinion,

827
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 2: do do men still want to date a woman if

828
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: they're intimate with them on the first date?

829
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 3: No, No, I don't think so. I think that that

830
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,880
Speaker 3: age old thing dates back a really long time. If

831
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 3: you give up all of the jewels from the get,

832
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 3: why would they come back for more jewels?

833
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: Give the milk away for free?

834
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,319
Speaker 3: Don't you don't give it away? Everyone pays the milkman, right,

835
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 3: it's not free? Right.

836
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,280
Speaker 1: Fifteen.

837
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 2: If you're dating long distance and your I do part

838
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 2: two life, what do you need to do to make a.

839
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:44,920
Speaker 1: Successful long term I don't know. I got my excess.

840
00:37:44,960 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: I got divorced after ten years.

841
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:51,680
Speaker 3: I think that long distance is hard and you have

842
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 3: to be really intentional. I would say that now now older,

843
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 3: dating older, and especially because I don't want marriage and

844
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 3: I don't want kids, that it would be easier to

845
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,560
Speaker 3: prioritize that. I don't know that it is something that

846
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 3: I could have done as a twenty something, you know

847
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,640
Speaker 3: what I mean. My priorities are just very different. Plus,

848
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:11,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. I was poor when I was like

849
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 3: twenty three. I was trying to sell houses. It's like,

850
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 3: just to pay my mortgage. Like I was, I couldn't

851
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 3: fly to New York for forty eight hours and go

852
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 3: out to dinner. I'd be sitting in the back of

853
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,919
Speaker 3: the bus. And I want to sit in a nice

854
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,080
Speaker 3: big seat in the front of the bus, just like

855
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 3: I want comfort. I want comfort.

856
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: I think that in my in where I am in

857
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:37,680
Speaker 2: my life, I think that long distance is difficult. However,

858
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: if it's not that far away where it's like train

859
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 2: ride away or something, then I would be fine with it.

860
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 2: Because I do have a very hectic schedule and I

861
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 2: don't want I don't want a man to be on

862
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 2: my time.

863
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,279
Speaker 1: I want to be on our time.

864
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I'd rather spend time together and have

865
00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 2: it be like really meaningful and make me feel really

866
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,280
Speaker 2: good about the time that we're together, then just spending

867
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,760
Speaker 2: like every single day together.

868
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,800
Speaker 3: You know, listen, Kelly, he would have to knock my

869
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 3: flip and socks off in order for me to do

870
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,240
Speaker 3: it right. And then I would have to be really intentional.

871
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,200
Speaker 1: Right, I'm not. I'm just what I'm saying, like I

872
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 1: would be. I'm open to that. I am open to that. Okay. Sixteen.

873
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:21,280
Speaker 2: If someone said they wanted you to be their partner,

874
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 2: but you knew they'd have to sleep in a separate

875
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,760
Speaker 2: bed for the for the unforseeable future, how would you react?

876
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:27,720
Speaker 3: It's a hard pass.

877
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 2: I'm just like, it's probably like snoring or something some

878
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 2: hard pass.

879
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: If someone like interrupted my sleep, I'd be like, I'm sorry,

880
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:34,600
Speaker 1: I'm eight hours, Like you can't.

881
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 3: But you would still date them if they had to

882
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 3: sleep in a separate room.

883
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 2: No, no, I know, what's the point, Like, I don't

884
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,360
Speaker 2: want to know me. I don't want a pen pal. No,

885
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 2: definitely don't want hard pass. Yes, agreed. If you're in

886
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,440
Speaker 2: a relationship with someone, do you consider any of the

887
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:52,320
Speaker 2: following Cheating you ready going to a strip club, cheating

888
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 2: watching porn, cheating, having a subscription to OnlyFans.

889
00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 3: Cheating, So we've learned here is a nold frood. I'm

890
00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 3: an absolute prude. What we're going to do listen? Cheating, cheating, cheating,

891
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 3: cheating across the board. I don't care if it is

892
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 3: emotionally you're just looking but not touching, right, I don't

893
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 3: care if you're hiding behind your little keyboard and you're

894
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:20,279
Speaker 3: just getting off hard pass for me. No, thank you, right, no,

895
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 3: thank you. I want to be the apple of someone's eye.

896
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 2: Right, I want to be the person that they're like,

897
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 2: I can't wait to be with you. I don't want

898
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 2: them to be like, oh see that girl, let's put

899
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: her on. No, no, nope, I totally agree. And like

900
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,959
Speaker 2: going to a scripts strip club, I'm like, why would

901
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 2: you want to go to a strip club if you

902
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 2: had respect for me?

903
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 3: I also just think if you have to hide and

904
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 3: do things, that should tell you that it is wrong. Right.

905
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 3: If you're hiding to do things, if you are hiding

906
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,919
Speaker 3: to watch porn, you're hiding on OnlyFans, it's wrong.

907
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: Okay, what if they told you that they were doing that,

908
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:52,160
Speaker 1: or if they're like, hey, no, yeah.

909
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 3: Then give me the option. It's still a no for me, Right, No, Thanky,

910
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,839
Speaker 3: don't want I don't need you paying for foot pictures? Right,

911
00:40:58,239 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 3: I get a pedicure?

912
00:40:59,080 --> 00:40:59,600
Speaker 1: You stare?

913
00:40:59,760 --> 00:40:59,960
Speaker 3: Mind?

914
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 1: What colle do you want this week?

915
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 2: When you're in a serious relationship or marriage and we're eighteen,

916
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 2: When you're in a serious relationship or marriage, is it

917
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:12,440
Speaker 2: okay to be friends with an ex.

918
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: If you've had if you had no children together? Why

919
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:22,239
Speaker 1: are why not? Kind of like, I don't know how

920
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:23,239
Speaker 1: I feel about this one.

921
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 3: I am such an incredibly loyal human being in friendships, partnerships,

922
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:35,839
Speaker 3: relationship and in my marriage. So for me in particular,

923
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:40,279
Speaker 3: I didn't wish anyone ill will. If I were to

924
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,080
Speaker 3: see an ex boyfriend, I would wish them well, but

925
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 3: it would bother me if my significant other was texting

926
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 3: separately without my knowledge with an ex girlfriend. I am

927
00:41:51,960 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 3: a firm believer that relationships come to an end for

928
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,719
Speaker 3: a reason. I am not one of those people that

929
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: go back and forth, let's give it eleven more tries.

930
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do it. When things come to

931
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 3: an end, that is a cleansing for me. That means

932
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,799
Speaker 3: something better is entering your life, and I by all

933
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 3: means wide open bring it to me, I'll take the better,

934
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 3: so I don't leave the door open for old stuff.

935
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 4: Right.

936
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 2: So there have been guys that I dated who I

937
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 2: thought they were great. I just didn't want to be

938
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 2: with them, and I don't have any I don't have

939
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 2: any emotional attachment to them. So it doesn't matter if

940
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 2: they're texting me. You know, I may respond quickly, I

941
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 2: may not respond for a while. I don't feel that

942
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 2: there's that attachment. If if someone I was dating was

943
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 2: was texting with someone where there was some kind of

944
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 2: like inappropriate conversations, then I would say, like, you need

945
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: to make a choice, like I'm not going to be

946
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: around for that, Like I'm not.

947
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 1: Putting up with that.

948
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, if it's like, hey, you know, hope everyone's well,

949
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 2: Merry Christmas, like I'm fine with that, or you know,

950
00:42:57,520 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: but nothing that's like would be misconstrued is inappropriate?

951
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 1: That would really that would my fasic level.

952
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 3: I don't have enough brain cells to be texting many

953
00:43:06,600 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 3: different people. My time is valuable. I don't care.

954
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 2: I just don't A thousand and I totally agree with you.

955
00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 2: So the twenty do you believe in love at first sight?

956
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 1: I do.

957
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 3: I've never experienced love at first sight. But I do

958
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,480
Speaker 3: think it happens. Well, we hung out with Ryan and

959
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,480
Speaker 3: Trista all day. I think that's a prime example. They

960
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 3: met on a television show, they fell in love, they've

961
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,800
Speaker 3: been married ever since. I'm not saying it's easy. I

962
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:30,719
Speaker 3: do think it happens. I have personally never experienced it.

963
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 2: I think it happens too. I mean I am open

964
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 2: to it too. I mean I've seen people where I'm like,

965
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, but I was. But maybe there I

966
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: would like, I was like, this is a great person.

967
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: But I was not in a position in that time

968
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 2: of my life to be able to take it to

969
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 2: the next step.

970
00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: So I believe that as well.

971
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:55,520
Speaker 2: Okay, the last to twenty one, Lucky twenty one. What's

972
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,840
Speaker 2: something you learned about yourself going through divorce?

973
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,719
Speaker 3: Oh, it's a loaded question.

974
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 1: You've learned a lot.

975
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 3: I've learned a lot. But I would say one thing

976
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: that has stuck with me my entire life is that

977
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 3: I'm freaking resilient. I am freaking resilient. And I said

978
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 3: this to you earlier. I keep my side of the

979
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 3: street clean. I love all I can do, that's all

980
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 3: I can do. I am in charge of me. I

981
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,040
Speaker 3: am in charge of what comes out of my mouth.

982
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 3: I am in charge of how I reply, what I do,

983
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,920
Speaker 3: what I say. So much of my life gets played

984
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:32,680
Speaker 3: out for people to see without that wanting to be

985
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:36,439
Speaker 3: my desire. I keep my side of the street clean.

986
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 3: And I am freaking resilient.

987
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we both are. Yeah, yeah, you know.

988
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,040
Speaker 2: I mean we've had we both have had our own

989
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 2: pass but I agree. I mean, I I'm just proud

990
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,160
Speaker 2: of who I am as a human, as a mother,

991
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 2: as a provider.

992
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of that. And I agree.

993
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I just I don't like I don't like

994
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,960
Speaker 2: the things in a messy first of all, Like I'll

995
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 2: probably forget something if someone said, what did you say,

996
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 2: I'll be like, I have no idea, Like, I don't

997
00:45:06,719 --> 00:45:09,600
Speaker 2: like it, doesn't I just I don't like things that

998
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:10,520
Speaker 2: are messy. Yeah.

999
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,560
Speaker 1: I like things to be in order. I think like

1000
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:13,440
Speaker 1: things to be calm.

1001
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 2: I like there to be I want it to be

1002
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 2: able to be in a position where I can be

1003
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,879
Speaker 2: nurturing to my partner, nurturing to my kids. I don't

1004
00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 2: want to be like on my back foot trying to

1005
00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 2: figure things out.

1006
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not what I also like, you just you

1007
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 3: take things, you grow from them, and you learn. Everything

1008
00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:32,400
Speaker 3: is a learning experience. And if people are not doing that,

1009
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,479
Speaker 3: and they're not taking things that happen in their life

1010
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 3: and choosing to better themselves from it, then where's the growth?

1011
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,480
Speaker 3: Right there? Where's the growth? Like, that's what we're supposed

1012
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 3: to do at the end of the day. You know

1013
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 3: what I want to be every day. I want to

1014
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 3: be a better woman. I want to be a better mother,

1015
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 3: right I want to be a better partner. Someday I

1016
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:51,879
Speaker 3: want to be a better human being.

1017
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,799
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting in business they always talk about like, oh,

1018
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 2: it's a value add but that's the same thing in

1019
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,919
Speaker 2: a relationship. You want someone that is a value add

1020
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 2: to you, like caring, loving, you know, nurturing, all the

1021
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,160
Speaker 2: whatever it is that you need. You want that person

1022
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 2: to be that person.

1023
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 3: We're so great. Can you even believe this? Us are single?

1024
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 3: Can you even believe this? Like? How does someone not

1025
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 3: want this? We've got all this hair, these bright and

1026
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:23,120
Speaker 3: shining personalities. We're like smile, we play pickleball.

1027
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,320
Speaker 1: We play pickleball. Yeah, we've gotten so gosh, I know

1028
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 1: we're doing great. We're doing We're doing great.

1029
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:30,200
Speaker 3: We're doing grea, Yeah, we're doing great. Oh yeah.

1030
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1031
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and honest

1032
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 2: and giving such a great advice on the pod. Love

1033
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 2: love getting to hang out with you as always. Do

1034
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 2: you have questions when it comes to dating, call us

1035
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:47,760
Speaker 2: or email us. We're here to help. All the infos

1036
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: in the show notes, follow us on socials, and make

1037
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 2: sure to rate and review the podcast I Do Part two,

1038
00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 2: an iHeartRadio podcast. We're falling in Love is the main objective?

1039
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,640
Speaker 3: Do you want to put my I phone number? In

1040
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,279
Speaker 3: the show notes