1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,559
Speaker 1: Hello. This is Chelsea hand Job calling.

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,800
Speaker 2: Hi Chelsea, this is Catherine. Where's Doug today?

3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,360
Speaker 1: Doug, it took a big shadoo bey on the carpet

4
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,120
Speaker 1: at my new house, the carpet that I haven't even

5
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,400
Speaker 1: used yet, really, so he peed on it the other day.

6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,799
Speaker 1: But today this is actually a victory story because I

7
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,919
Speaker 1: walked out of the house and then Doug was so

8
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,079
Speaker 1: upset he went and shodo being on the rug right

9
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:26,360
Speaker 1: as and my bell was yelling at him to stop,

10
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,120
Speaker 1: and he continued and then lifted his leg up and

11
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,080
Speaker 1: peede looking at her in the eyes.

12
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:31,840
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

13
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,239
Speaker 1: It is a complete reversal of fortunes from when I

14
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:40,520
Speaker 1: had Burt. This is going great. I fucking love Doug.

15
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,559
Speaker 1: Doug loves me, he wants to be with me. He

16
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,199
Speaker 1: gets upset when I leave. Everything is working out perfectly.

17
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,320
Speaker 1: I just announced a bunch of dates for my stand up.

18
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,159
Speaker 1: So first of all, there are still tickets left for

19
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:57,360
Speaker 1: the Netflix is a Joke Festival Saturday night on May eleventh.

20
00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,320
Speaker 1: I will be there at the YouTube Theater, so there

21
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,960
Speaker 1: are still tickets for that. And then I'm going to

22
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,440
Speaker 1: New Zealand and Australia, so you can find your tickets

23
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:06,840
Speaker 1: for that, and then I'm going to Hawaii. I have

24
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 1: two shows in Hawaii on July nineteenth and July twentieth,

25
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:13,319
Speaker 1: Maui and Oahu. And then I added twenty two more dates.

26
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,840
Speaker 1: I have the Santa Barbara Bowl. I added twenty two

27
00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:22,200
Speaker 1: more cities. So they're Saratoga, California, Portland, Maine, Connecticut, South Carolina, Indianapolis,

28
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:26,800
Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Kansas City, Philadelphia, Dallas, Austin, Montclair, New Jersey.

29
00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,920
Speaker 1: I will be taping my specials San Diego, New Orleans, Atlanta,

30
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,200
Speaker 1: all the places I'm going. I have one date in Hollywood, Florida.

31
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,160
Speaker 1: One show in Hollywood, Florida. If you want to see

32
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,640
Speaker 1: me in Florida, that's your opportunity. It's July twenty eighth. Okay,

33
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,240
Speaker 1: well those are all my dates, guys.

34
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,240
Speaker 2: Excellent, Well, Chelsea, we have an exciting guest today.

35
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:51,160
Speaker 1: I know he's a straight white male. Guys, so you

36
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,600
Speaker 1: know that he's okay, you better behave himself. Actually, otherwise

37
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,920
Speaker 1: he's going to go to jail.

38
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,080
Speaker 2: We love to prioritize straight white males.

39
00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 1: Now, we don't have a lot of straight white male

40
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,840
Speaker 1: guests on the show, but sometimes we do, and today

41
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,600
Speaker 1: is one of those days.

42
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,400
Speaker 2: There are some kind of tricky questions for him.

43
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,640
Speaker 1: Oh good. In fact, I like to put a straight

44
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,200
Speaker 1: man on the hot seat. Please welcome Neil Brennan. Hi,

45
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,079
Speaker 1: Neil Brennan, what Hi?

46
00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:16,679
Speaker 3: Hi?

47
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 1: First of all, congrats on your your latest special. How

48
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,839
Speaker 1: many specials have you had?

49
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,800
Speaker 3: I've had three and a half. I had to do

50
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,280
Speaker 3: a half hour for some reason after my first. It

51
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,160
Speaker 3: was it was stupid three and a half hours.

52
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,040
Speaker 1: You had to do a half hours. Oh that's degrading.

53
00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,880
Speaker 3: But I had already done and it was stupid.

54
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,800
Speaker 1: Neil Brennan has a new special on Netflix called Crazy Good.

55
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 1: It just came out. It's fucking funny. Catherine and I

56
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,880
Speaker 1: both watched it. Neil Brennan is one of the funniest

57
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:44,720
Speaker 1: comics out there, so if you're not familiar with him,

58
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,880
Speaker 1: you should. He's drinking a bottle of Mountain Spring flat

59
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:48,959
Speaker 1: water from what I can.

60
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,320
Speaker 3: Tell, sparkling, sparkling, thank you.

61
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 1: Oh the red one is okay, all right, that's better.

62
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:56,920
Speaker 1: That's at least better, thank you. And he also has

63
00:02:56,919 --> 00:03:00,320
Speaker 1: a podcast called Blocks, which rhymes with well cough. It

64
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,400
Speaker 1: rhymes with but Neil, I didn't realize how much you

65
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,440
Speaker 1: struggled with depression your whole life.

66
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:08,320
Speaker 3: Really, you couldn't just tell.

67
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,120
Speaker 1: Well, I think you know what, All male comics strike me.

68
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 1: Not all, I shouldn't say all, but most male comics

69
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,400
Speaker 1: strike me as slightly depressed. So it becomes part of

70
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,760
Speaker 1: the package, you know, like being around comics. I mean,

71
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,680
Speaker 1: I think most comics are slightly depressed. It's not even

72
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,239
Speaker 1: just men.

73
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,600
Speaker 3: I'm curious as to what your estimation of female comics

74
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,160
Speaker 3: is because I think I kind of agree with you

75
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,680
Speaker 3: about males. But I'm wondering. I'm like, how would I

76
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 3: categorize female comic? Is it like people pleasing or something?

77
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,200
Speaker 1: No, I think I mean, I'm thinking right now about

78
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,680
Speaker 1: probably a lot of people we have in common, and

79
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:48,960
Speaker 1: a couple of the girls have light depression, but generally

80
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,960
Speaker 1: as an overall sentiment, I don't find female comics depressed

81
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,440
Speaker 1: in the way that I do find male comics depressed.

82
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,800
Speaker 3: I agree, but I'm wondering, what would you How would

83
00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,360
Speaker 3: you categorize them? Anxious?

84
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:04,480
Speaker 1: Maybe anxious? I don't want to say people pleaser, because

85
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,080
Speaker 1: I find most comics are actually female comics these days

86
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,000
Speaker 1: are not people pleasers. They're more like fuck off, Like

87
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,760
Speaker 1: we've been through enough so just everyone could go fuck themselves.

88
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,680
Speaker 1: Is that that's more of an overarching theme and attitude

89
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,919
Speaker 1: among women. So I don't know what the drive for

90
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 1: women is. It's an interesting Yeah, is it.

91
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:27,560
Speaker 3: Like maybe like frustrate anger, like generalized anger and frustration

92
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,760
Speaker 3: about the way society is set up and the way Yeah,

93
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,359
Speaker 3: the sexism of nature. I'm now thinking about how sexist

94
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,159
Speaker 3: nature is, just with like periods and just all the

95
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 3: stuff you guys have to go through that we kind

96
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,480
Speaker 3: of don't. It would make me insane if I had

97
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:43,840
Speaker 3: to do it.

98
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, women do have to deal with a lot of bullshit,

99
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,000
Speaker 1: but you're also so inured to it that it becomes

100
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,640
Speaker 1: like a period having to like constantly prove yourself or

101
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,200
Speaker 1: with that a woman is funny or that a woman

102
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,720
Speaker 1: is successful. I think the thing that irks women the

103
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,080
Speaker 1: most is the lack of respect that we get from men,

104
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,720
Speaker 1: and especially male comics to female comics. There's that dynamic

105
00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,479
Speaker 1: for sure. Like I was at an event recently and

106
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,039
Speaker 1: I was watching a very famous comedian do her thing,

107
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,760
Speaker 1: and I was watching the male comedians watch her, and

108
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 1: they had no respect for her.

109
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,839
Speaker 3: Well, what's funny is I have Like I was going

110
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 3: to start by saying how much respect I have for you,

111
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,400
Speaker 3: because it's you know when you like first hear about

112
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,240
Speaker 3: somebody and I'd heard you'd written a book. It was

113
00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,200
Speaker 3: like seven o eight. I'd heard you written a book

114
00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:34,680
Speaker 3: and that the book was selling well. And then I

115
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 3: saw you crush and then you then you were on

116
00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,400
Speaker 3: e crushing for ten years or whatever, and just like

117
00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,520
Speaker 3: you just crush and you You're a huge draw and

118
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,720
Speaker 3: you have millions of fans, like I feel like I've

119
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,720
Speaker 3: seen them. I went and saw you at Comedy Magic

120
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,920
Speaker 3: just I think, just you one time, like I'm an

121
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,360
Speaker 3: ally is what I'm trying to say.

122
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,360
Speaker 1: I was like with you, no, let me preface this myself, but.

123
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,320
Speaker 3: I didn't even but I agree with you, like I

124
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,480
Speaker 3: I agree with you that it is like because I

125
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,960
Speaker 3: feel like in some ways, everybody feels like an underdog.

126
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,880
Speaker 3: I think everybody show feels like an underdog. I feel

127
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,920
Speaker 3: like I was for a long time like Dave's plus one,

128
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,640
Speaker 3: David Chappelle's plus one, like we were the show together

129
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,040
Speaker 3: and then I was like pretending to do stand up

130
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:27,000
Speaker 3: and then slowly but surely it was like, oh, oh,

131
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,200
Speaker 3: so I feel like I was able to earn not

132
00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,159
Speaker 3: like I earned it as if I was a woman.

133
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,000
Speaker 3: But I earned this in a different way than everybody

134
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,600
Speaker 3: has to earn it. But I feel like mine took

135
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,680
Speaker 3: a long time and it was sort of public in

136
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,200
Speaker 3: a weird way.

137
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,480
Speaker 1: So, but I also think earning things sometimes it takes longer.

138
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,400
Speaker 1: You're not the front and center person. You're kind of

139
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,320
Speaker 1: out of an attachment to somebody else, which kind of

140
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,360
Speaker 1: countibults you into the spotlight in a different way. Can

141
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,520
Speaker 1: feel not like what you want at the beginning, but

142
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,440
Speaker 1: when you have achieved the success that you've had and

143
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,279
Speaker 1: earning it feels right, doesn't it. Like working that hard

144
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,119
Speaker 1: and hustling that hard feels good.

145
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you look back on the things that you

146
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,920
Speaker 3: were like I should have gotten that, and then you

147
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,880
Speaker 3: it's like I didn't realize how good I would have

148
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:19,480
Speaker 3: to be before people go okay, fine, yeah, it's like I,

149
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,480
Speaker 3: how hard do you need me to throw the ball?

150
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,400
Speaker 3: And they were just like harder. We don't know why, right,

151
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,440
Speaker 3: oh it harder. And I'd be like all right here

152
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,640
Speaker 3: and then they'd be like, okay, you're good. But it

153
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:33,600
Speaker 3: took so from my point of be mind bendingly long

154
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,080
Speaker 3: to get there. So yeah, but you're right, it is

155
00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,880
Speaker 3: more satisfying than I never felt like I was grandfather did,

156
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,920
Speaker 3: but everybody else felt like I was grandfather. And I'm like,

157
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,440
Speaker 3: I wrote the jokes and directed the sketches, like you

158
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,200
Speaker 3: know what I mean. Like it wasn't like everybody thought

159
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,280
Speaker 3: I didn't do anything, So it was it's nice to

160
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:57,840
Speaker 3: go like, okay, here, I am see this by myself. Finally,

161
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,160
Speaker 3: like Okay, you're funny.

162
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,000
Speaker 1: I can relate to what you're saying a great deal

163
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,520
Speaker 1: because I also find out, like even when you are successful,

164
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,440
Speaker 1: which I've been successful for so many years since I was,

165
00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,560
Speaker 1: you know, in my probably late twenties, early thirties, and

166
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,760
Speaker 1: there were periods in my life where I had to

167
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,160
Speaker 1: prove and reprove the same shit I had already been

168
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,920
Speaker 1: successful at. And you're like, oh my god, are you

169
00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,000
Speaker 1: fucking kidding me? Like I remember taking a break from

170
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:24,680
Speaker 1: stand up for six years after my Elsey Lately show.

171
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,440
Speaker 1: I just was so burned out on every level. I'm like,

172
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,040
Speaker 1: I'm not doing stand up. I can't do this anymore.

173
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,880
Speaker 1: I have nothing to say. And then when I went

174
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,240
Speaker 1: back to it six years later, like I understood, Okay,

175
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,640
Speaker 1: you're not gonna be playing Arenas or what you were

176
00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:37,560
Speaker 1: playing before. You have to rebuild that. But even my

177
00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,079
Speaker 1: agents were like, what are you gonna do. I'm like,

178
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do stand up. That's how I started. And

179
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 1: they're like, but what's it gonna be? What's it gonna

180
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,720
Speaker 1: be about? We don't get the show. I'm like, what what?

181
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,160
Speaker 1: And then I finally just had to ignore them and

182
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,360
Speaker 1: literally put my head down and go, Okay, I'll fucking

183
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,560
Speaker 1: show them what I'm gonna do. And I ended up

184
00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:56,840
Speaker 1: selling that you know special to HBO Max when I

185
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:58,760
Speaker 1: came back on the scene in comedy, which was like

186
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,800
Speaker 1: three specials go. But it was very frustrating to have

187
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,720
Speaker 1: to reprove the reason why you became successful in the

188
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,360
Speaker 1: first place.

189
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's embarrassing, but the good news is, I think

190
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:13,880
Speaker 3: it kind of happens to everybody. Yeah, I really do,

191
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,880
Speaker 3: Like I think every I think even I won't name guys,

192
00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:20,679
Speaker 3: but where you're like, hm, I don't know. I think

193
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,679
Speaker 3: it's maybe it's worse for women, but I think it's

194
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:27,760
Speaker 3: certainly exists for guys, and it's a terrible business for

195
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:28,920
Speaker 3: everyone involved.

196
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,559
Speaker 1: I didn't realize you went to Catholic school. I thought, Neil,

197
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,640
Speaker 1: I thought you were a Jew.

198
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,360
Speaker 3: I know. Well, the thing I say is, I'm not Jewish.

199
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:37,839
Speaker 3: I just have.

200
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,600
Speaker 1: Allergies, and you look a little Jewish, And no, of

201
00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,640
Speaker 1: course I'm a Jew. So I know a Jew when

202
00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:43,120
Speaker 1: I see one.

203
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 3: You see like, apparently I have some of the features

204
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,520
Speaker 3: and the good joke writing. So yeah, but I went

205
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,240
Speaker 3: to Catholic school for twelve years.

206
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that'll fuck anybody up. But I was really

207
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,480
Speaker 1: really curious to learn about all of the shit that

208
00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,160
Speaker 1: you've had to try to help your depression. And I

209
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:03,000
Speaker 1: want to talk about all of this stuff and what

210
00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,120
Speaker 1: your reactions to all of this. TMS HGH gave you

211
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:11,760
Speaker 1: panic attacks, ketamine, aahuasca, and DMT, and then you flew

212
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,480
Speaker 1: to China to do intense TMS.

213
00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:17,360
Speaker 3: So yes, I don't this was not just this sounds

214
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,120
Speaker 3: like I was just spinning a wheel and be like

215
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:24,320
Speaker 3: fuck it TMS again. It was a progression from just

216
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,559
Speaker 3: the basic therapy medication. Kind of hit a wall. I'd

217
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,240
Speaker 3: Zoloft help for about ten years, kind of hit a

218
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,319
Speaker 3: wall and then heard about TMS.

219
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,200
Speaker 1: Well, waitit, let's define what TMS is. Can you tell?

220
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,520
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, I will. TMS is called transcranial magnetic stimulation.

221
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:47,360
Speaker 3: It is a basically, it's kind of an MRI plate

222
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,280
Speaker 3: or helmet like sort of wand that they kind of

223
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:54,040
Speaker 3: put over your part of your head and then they

224
00:10:54,840 --> 00:11:00,360
Speaker 3: fire an MRI beam and it's like sounds. It feels

225
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:05,440
Speaker 3: like a low energy woodpecker and it doesn't feel bad.

226
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,480
Speaker 3: We just kind of like this is odd and it

227
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,720
Speaker 3: works for people, and it worked for me.

228
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,320
Speaker 1: And what is it supposed to do. It's designed to

229
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,080
Speaker 1: stimulate something.

230
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:19,000
Speaker 3: It activates the electricity of brain cells, is my understanding.

231
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:19,920
Speaker 3: I could be missed.

232
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
Speaker 1: I could be completely misinformed.

233
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 3: Yes, I know the word stimulation is in the title.

234
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:30,080
Speaker 3: So let's say it stimulates some neurons to get back

235
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,199
Speaker 3: to work, so to speak.

236
00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,679
Speaker 1: And why did you go to China for this?

237
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:38,400
Speaker 3: Well? Okay, so I did TMS probably ten years ago

238
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,840
Speaker 3: in West La. I think it was about forty sessions.

239
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:45,319
Speaker 3: It's like three days, four days a week and it's

240
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:48,560
Speaker 3: a half hour you sit there watch TV. And then

241
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,920
Speaker 3: that it worked for a while, and then I just

242
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,320
Speaker 3: after maybe six years, I felt like I needed a

243
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:57,000
Speaker 3: tune up now. Concurrently, there was a guy booking a

244
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,680
Speaker 3: show in Shanghai that THEO Vaughn had done, so I

245
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,240
Speaker 3: was like, I'll do a show and Shang I, the

246
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,640
Speaker 3: guy who runs the show, has a brother that's a

247
00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 3: neurosurgeon in China has a better unregulated TMS while you're here.

248
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,360
Speaker 3: Do you want to do it? I was like, I

249
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,400
Speaker 3: only want to do it. I don't even care about

250
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 3: the show in China. It was basically like five weeks

251
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:21,640
Speaker 3: of TMS in one week. They because it's it's a

252
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:23,240
Speaker 3: free for all, worked pretty good.

253
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,240
Speaker 1: And then the TMS. I think you mean it worked

254
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,760
Speaker 1: pretty well? Know the TMS really is it like a moodlifter.

255
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,840
Speaker 3: It's none of it. It's like a moodlifter. It's not nothing's

256
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,840
Speaker 3: like cocainey or like you know mdmash where it's like boying.

257
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,280
Speaker 3: It's more just like the floor comes up a little bit,

258
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,040
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, in your mood. And that's

259
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 3: how what I found with all this stuff. Zoloft was big.

260
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,840
Speaker 1: What about the ketamine, Well.

261
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,360
Speaker 3: Ketamine I didn't like it. See I've had like part

262
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,160
Speaker 3: twos with all these things. First time I did Keademy,

263
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 3: it was like nine years ago, didn't work, didn't like it,

264
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,319
Speaker 3: found the experience of it sort of like a goofy

265
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,680
Speaker 3: drug expers no long term positive effects. And then the

266
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:08,800
Speaker 3: big one for me was ayahuasca. Oh, which you did.

267
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:12,080
Speaker 1: Once, right, yeah, twice and two in two days. I

268
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,319
Speaker 1: didn't see you're right?

269
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,920
Speaker 3: So yeah. So in twenty twenty, somebody sent me an

270
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,000
Speaker 3: article about ayahuasca and they're like, we got to do this.

271
00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:22,160
Speaker 3: I then get a hookup, we do it, and it

272
00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,360
Speaker 3: was like good. It was like, oh, this is good

273
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,360
Speaker 3: in a way I can't really it was. It felt

274
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,400
Speaker 3: like sort of connected, you know. And in order to

275
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,400
Speaker 3: do it you have to go off Zoloft. So I'd

276
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,480
Speaker 3: gone off Zoloft and was doing it, and then I

277
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:43,080
Speaker 3: did it again and I basically had my third time.

278
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,640
Speaker 3: I like woke up and I was like, oh, I'm

279
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:48,640
Speaker 3: in the presence of God. I believe right now. I

280
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,120
Speaker 3: was an atheist before that, so I was like, oh,

281
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:55,440
Speaker 3: I have now I have a spiritual connection. And I

282
00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,640
Speaker 3: just felt different, like I felt like the neurons in

283
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,200
Speaker 3: my brain had sort of been updated or changed in

284
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 3: some way. And then I haven't gone back on zela.

285
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,400
Speaker 1: Oh well that's a huge success story then And how

286
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,160
Speaker 1: long ago was that?

287
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,640
Speaker 3: Four years ago?

288
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,320
Speaker 2: Wow?

289
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,440
Speaker 1: I fucking love that story. Where did you do that

290
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:12,920
Speaker 1: in La?

291
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,520
Speaker 3: Yeah? Near six Flags? Thanks fr asking perfect?

292
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,959
Speaker 1: I love six Flags? What a safe environment for you?

293
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 3: What wonderful? The screaming? Yeah, so so that was that's

294
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,640
Speaker 3: been great. And then I did five MEO DMT.

295
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,760
Speaker 1: I did that too, and I ended up naked because

296
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,800
Speaker 1: I had to rip my clothes off. That's how bad

297
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,640
Speaker 1: I was. It was the worst experience I've ever had

298
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,880
Speaker 1: with the drug. Was five dm EOT a.

299
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:42,480
Speaker 3: Different experience where I just had the basic you inhales?

300
00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:46,720
Speaker 3: Did we explain it? It's basically a toad secretion that

301
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,280
Speaker 3: they dry and they scrape it, put it in a

302
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,680
Speaker 3: pipe and you smoke it and you get you go

303
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,640
Speaker 3: to Where did you go when you Inhale? Where did

304
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 3: you go?

305
00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:02,440
Speaker 1: Great question? I went to the darkest. I'm a positive, upbeat,

306
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,320
Speaker 1: typically upbeat person. I'm a pragmatist. I don't really get upset.

307
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,280
Speaker 1: I mean I get upset, but I don't get depressed.

308
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,280
Speaker 1: I don't struggle with what we're talking about. That was

309
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 1: the darkest I've ever felt in my life. I didn't

310
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,320
Speaker 1: prepare for it, you know, like I didn't cleanse. I

311
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,200
Speaker 1: kind of did it off the cuff. Somebody was doing it.

312
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll try that. So that was stupid too.

313
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:23,160
Speaker 1: But I've never met a drug I didn't get along

314
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,040
Speaker 1: with great, So I was like, yeah, let's go face first.

315
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,240
Speaker 1: And it was miserable. It was dark and it was death.

316
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,960
Speaker 1: It felt like death, Like I was excited. I was

317
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,920
Speaker 1: told it was an ego killer, you know, and I

318
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 1: love that. I love the idea of not having your

319
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,880
Speaker 1: ego in theory in the mix. Well, yeah, I would

320
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 1: like to get rid of it permanently. I mean, I'm

321
00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,280
Speaker 1: sure I wouldn't be in this business, but i'd have

322
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:46,200
Speaker 1: to do something else. But yeah, it felt so ominous.

323
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 1: The whole thing was just so dark, and I couldn't.

324
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 1: I said, please make this stop, make it stop, make

325
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 1: it stop. And five minutes later I was covered in

326
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,560
Speaker 1: my own sweat, in my bron underwear, sitting with some

327
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 1: naked woman who was comforting me. I mean, I mean

328
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,280
Speaker 1: the woman who administered or helped me smoke it, who

329
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 1: was comforting me. And I was like, this was awful

330
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,280
Speaker 1: and I don't ever need to do this again. So

331
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,920
Speaker 1: tell me about your experience.

332
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:13,440
Speaker 3: Well, Chelsea, I went to what another person described, Michael Polland,

333
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 3: who wrote a book called How to Change Her Mind.

334
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,760
Speaker 3: He described smoking DMT, and he went to the same

335
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 3: place that I went to, which is before the Big Bang. Insane.

336
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:27,240
Speaker 3: It was insane. I told somebody I was aiming for God,

337
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:32,320
Speaker 3: and I missed my stop. I went past everything, and then,

338
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,560
Speaker 3: but at last, about thirty five minutes, I was I

339
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 3: was in a white void. I didn't know what breathing was,

340
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 3: I didn't know what direction left right up. I didn't

341
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:47,560
Speaker 3: have any sense of anything, and with the ego death

342
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,160
Speaker 3: thing I've never experienced, because I was some version of myself,

343
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,560
Speaker 3: meaning like I was some I had a point of view,

344
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,320
Speaker 3: and my point of view was I have no idea

345
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 3: what's happening? And I I felt like I was feeling

346
00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:05,600
Speaker 3: my first neuron form, like I felt like the original

347
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:10,200
Speaker 3: person of human life, not a person. We're millions away.

348
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 1: Wave man, even on your feet.

349
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 3: Further, we're talking about molecule.

350
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,440
Speaker 1: I was a mom okay, okay, wow wow.

351
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:27,399
Speaker 3: Yes it was wild. And then slowly but surely, my

352
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,680
Speaker 3: sort of human consciousness came back into me over about

353
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 3: thirty five minutes to the point where like pettiness would

354
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,280
Speaker 3: come back in and I was like, no, we're not

355
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,920
Speaker 3: doing that anymore. Like I was trying to like rebuild.

356
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 3: So it was like, you know, I inhaled at eight,

357
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,800
Speaker 3: I was walking home at nine. I was in New York,

358
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:50,239
Speaker 3: and uh, that was fine. Right a week later, I

359
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,360
Speaker 3: have what's called a reactivation, like a flashback. So now

360
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,879
Speaker 3: it was. It was a Sunday in New York. I

361
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,120
Speaker 3: went and met a woman for coffee, and I was

362
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,359
Speaker 3: on a coffee date, and half of me was before

363
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:09,120
Speaker 3: the big bang, like visually, and I had the two

364
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,680
Speaker 3: or three most harrowing days of my life. I didn't know.

365
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 3: At one point, I go, am I in God's imagination?

366
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 3: Just shit, you're not supposed to think at all. But

367
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:23,960
Speaker 3: I got a half a percent better every day, and

368
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:28,359
Speaker 3: after about eight months, I was a better version of

369
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,840
Speaker 3: myself than I've ever been.

370
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a good that's a positive story, I know,

371
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 1: but it's scary scary also.

372
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 3: And talk about earning it, like got the I got

373
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 3: the transformation, but like I had to work for every

374
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:44,920
Speaker 3: inch of it.

375
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:47,159
Speaker 1: Sounds like it. Did you feel like you had your

376
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:51,000
Speaker 1: ego with ayahuasca that feels like an ego killer as well.

377
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 3: I don't the thing about the ego seeing this as

378
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 3: ego or not. I think my experiences were it's always

379
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,560
Speaker 3: going to be from my point of view. I've never

380
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,879
Speaker 3: had an experience where it wasn't a first person whether

381
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 3: I'm a molecule or I don't think that.

382
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,320
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what I mean by saying. If

383
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: it like, it can still be your perspective. But you are,

384
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,840
Speaker 1: like I remember Ayahuasca, I was like I was. I

385
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,720
Speaker 1: was the spirit of me rather than the physical me,

386
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:19,160
Speaker 1: you know, the spirit of me looking at the spirit

387
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,400
Speaker 1: of my sister, looking at the spirit of the situation,

388
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 1: looking at everything from above, and I'm I'm me, But

389
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,920
Speaker 1: I'm not attached to me and my ego. I'm attached

390
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 1: to the natural good outcome of the situation.

391
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,199
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would. I would say that the thing that

392
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,280
Speaker 3: I've gotten from it is my values are sort of

393
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: better overall, like my ethics or like what I crave.

394
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 3: There's more to the story also. So then so that's

395
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:51,520
Speaker 3: like twenty twenty one, right, then this year they're about

396
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 3: the last calendar year, twenty twenty three, twenty twenty four.

397
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 3: I've done MDMA every maybe three months in like a

398
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:04,440
Speaker 3: not party setting, and uh, I've gotten so much from it,

399
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 3: like real growth, I think, like real recategorization of like

400
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,239
Speaker 3: how I am in my in my essence kind of

401
00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:19,199
Speaker 3: like it's really awesome. The clearest example I can give

402
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: is like there was one maybe last August, where I

403
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 3: did it and I was able to forgive all my

404
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:33,240
Speaker 3: many enemies. Chelsea. I'm Irish, Catholic, you know, grudge and

405
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:40,360
Speaker 3: a little Jewish with a Jewish rising and and we

406
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 3: and I was able to forgive all my enemies. And

407
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 3: then the next I was like, why was I so

408
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 3: able to do that? Like a A I'm like, I

409
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 3: love holding a grudge. And I realized because I finally

410
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 3: had some oxytose and dopamine and serotonin in my brain

411
00:20:55,320 --> 00:21:01,160
Speaker 3: instead of just cortisol and adrenaline all day. And I realize, like, oh,

412
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 3: I need to stop paying attention to the cortisol. Like

413
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 3: what I think is my personality is basically just me

414
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 3: going like cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, cortisol, and and ignoring that

415
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 3: sort of part of my brain that rites that shit

416
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 3: and just going like you're out of your mind. And

417
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,119
Speaker 3: I've been able to kind of do it. It was

418
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,760
Speaker 3: a thing I couldn't. I had no mastery over whatsoever.

419
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 3: And now I actually have some and I legitimately believe

420
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 3: it's because of the aahuasca DMT.

421
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,240
Speaker 1: And yeah, no, all those drugs are good things, you know.

422
00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: I think everyone's realizing that now, especially are you sober?

423
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 3: Like basically like I couldn't tell you the last time

424
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 3: I had a drink, but I don't.

425
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: It's not like a thing, right, You're not interested? Okay?

426
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 1: So are you? Do? You think you're good at giving advice?

427
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 3: Neil, I love it. Whether it's good or not. It's

428
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:55,879
Speaker 3: a whole lot of one.

429
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 1: That's exactly what we're going to find out. We're going

430
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:58,680
Speaker 1: to find that out today.

431
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,200
Speaker 3: I'm no what all's no.

432
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 1: Perfect Okay, So we are going to take a break

433
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 1: and we're going to be right back.

434
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 2: If you need advice from Chelsea, right into Dear Chelsea

435
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,440
Speaker 2: Podcast at gmail dot com. You can ask about your

436
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 2: biggest dating conundrums, the cheating scandal that's rocking your friend group,

437
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 2: the funniest marital disagreements you need Chelsea to weigh in on,

438
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 2: or anything else that's Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot

439
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 2: com and we're back. We are back. Are you ready

440
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:29,720
Speaker 2: to lunch?

441
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 3: Ready?

442
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 1: Nail's ready, I'm fucking ready. You're ready, Ayahuasca's ready? By dat.

443
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 1: We should do a episode where we're all on MDMA.

444
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 2: That sounds that I'm doing.

445
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

446
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 2: Well, our first question comes from Katie and she's in

447
00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: New York. My boyfriend and I have been together for

448
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 2: about three years, and I've always been really right there.

449
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,919
Speaker 2: He is like three or four years older than her,

450
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 2: but I've always been really frank with him that I'm

451
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,200
Speaker 2: not okay with him using porn. I think it's super

452
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,439
Speaker 2: demeaning and generally ruins your sex. I thought catching him

453
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: in the act with porn would be the worst thing

454
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 2: that could happen. Turns out I was wrong. While using

455
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 2: his computer to do some research for work, I stumbled

456
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 2: across some Reddit threads he had bookmarked. I promise I

457
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,960
Speaker 2: wasn't snooping Chelsea. The trail led me to threads about

458
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,720
Speaker 2: a certain barely legal teenage actress who starred in Let's Say,

459
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 2: a popular Netflix show starring children. The thread showed all

460
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:25,440
Speaker 2: kinds of red carpet and paparazzi photos of the actress,

461
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: who had been a mere child in the show we'd

462
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 2: just watched. In compromising photos think close ups on cameltoe, wardrobe,

463
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 2: malfunctions at the beach, etc. Just a woman living her

464
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,320
Speaker 2: life being taken advantage of, and my boyfriend was googling it.

465
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 2: The whole thing felt very non consensual. I was disgusted,

466
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,920
Speaker 2: even though the pictures generally seemed to be on the

467
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,520
Speaker 2: recent end of things, so she would be legal. But

468
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 2: who's to tell. My problem is, I'm absolutely sure he's

469
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,960
Speaker 2: the one. Does this mean he's sexually attracted to kids?

470
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 1: Yes, yes it does. We'll gonna talk to Neil in

471
00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: a second about it, but I'm pretty sure it does.

472
00:23:59,600 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

473
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 2: Instead, I be scared to bring him around my teenage nieces.

474
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 2: Will he be attracted to me as I age? Most importantly,

475
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 2: is this a deal breaker? Katie?

476
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: Let's talk about porn? Neil, you're a straight mail tell

477
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 1: us what the deal is?

478
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 3: I think, well, I have a lot of thoughts about it.

479
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 3: One of them is, guys, don't realize that it's science fiction.

480
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:28,680
Speaker 3: It's not real. It's as real as the best analogy is.

481
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,719
Speaker 3: It's as real as fast and Furious is to driving.

482
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:37,400
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you're not driving off of buildings onto

483
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 3: aircraft carriage. It's stupid. Most porn it's just dumb and cartoonish,

484
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: and women just are not like that. Like occasionally, I

485
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,400
Speaker 3: think women are a little bit like that, like sporty

486
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: like let that, ah whatever, but I think most women

487
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 3: actually want a connection.

488
00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so we've got the porn figured out sort of,

489
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: But what do you have to say about younger because

490
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,159
Speaker 1: this is important And she used the word non consensual.

491
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 2: Because it's sort of like creepy picture has taken while

492
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: this woman was not aware of.

493
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: But that's yes, But she's a public person, so she's

494
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:13,959
Speaker 1: gonna get pictures taken of her. But the other thing

495
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 1: is younger women. Okay, Neil, let's talk about men and

496
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,120
Speaker 1: younger women. What are your thoughts on this guy looking

497
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 1: at pictures of a girl that's hardly legal, and what

498
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: does that make you think about him.

499
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,639
Speaker 3: I've never had a predilection for a younger one. I

500
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 3: always dated older women. Whatever. Again, I'm an ally.

501
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: And there's nothing that's me and there's nothing we can

502
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: do about it.

503
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 3: No. I love menopause and I always will, so I

504
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 3: think it's some of its kind of gross if you

505
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 3: get into like peak human fertility. If you go deeper

506
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,720
Speaker 3: and deeper and deeper, it's like a guy, we're attracted

507
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 3: to fertility, and women are attracted to guys with big

508
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 3: shoulders and jaws and foreheads and providers and all that stuff.

509
00:25:54,640 --> 00:26:00,480
Speaker 3: If you get into the reality of it, it's pretty gross, right, So,

510
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:07,280
Speaker 3: but obviously there are laws for a reason because you're praying. Basically, yes,

511
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 3: it's obviously gross and like troubling, but I also understand

512
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 3: it from an evolutionary thing.

513
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what you're saying. I just think, like,

514
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 1: I don't know, there's a lot of guys out there

515
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,960
Speaker 1: that wouldn't be interested in looking at a girl that age,

516
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? There are men that

517
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 1: are more but sure than that, that that are like

518
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: that doesn't turn me on because they know enough now

519
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 1: to understand that a woman at that age is not

520
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,880
Speaker 1: mature enough to understand you're not on a level even

521
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,000
Speaker 1: playing field. I don't care if anybody watches porn whatever,

522
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: whatever floats your boat. But when you're talking about younger

523
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,760
Speaker 1: girls and you has a Reddit thing and he's following,

524
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,720
Speaker 1: like what looking at pictures of her camel tooe, Like

525
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 1: all of that is just so gross, creepy. It's all creepy.

526
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: It's off limits, like there's a power dynamic. And it's

527
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 1: also you're creeping, like well, creeping on anyone is icky.

528
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 1: It's the creeping. It's the ass up, like I don't

529
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: want to look. It's a picture of someone's cameltoe on

530
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: the beach.

531
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 3: Why.

532
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: Yes, So when she's saying this is the one, it's like,

533
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: is it is it the one? Because it sounds like

534
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: you already believe that. So nothing I'm gonna say is

535
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,040
Speaker 1: gonna change your mind. But I would say, ew, he

536
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: sounds gross.

537
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 3: Yes, I totally agree either, So of course I mean

538
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,000
Speaker 3: an a So you know what I'm gonna say, guys,

539
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 3: but I think in some ways most guy sexual predilections

540
00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:30,120
Speaker 3: are gross just by the fact that it's coming from

541
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 3: a guy. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's a McDonald's.

542
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 3: You can took Kobe Beef on it, it's still McDonald

543
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,200
Speaker 3: it's still gross. So you know, it's like, what should

544
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,959
Speaker 3: a guy like? And then what you'll describe as something

545
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 3: akin to you, you know what I mean, like a

546
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 3: woman who's been successful and did whatever, like a professional

547
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 3: data because I think because I'm sure there are things

548
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,879
Speaker 3: or types of guys you like that you're not that

549
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 3: proud of, or it's not the greatest thing you've ever liked,

550
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,879
Speaker 3: or sexual scenarios that you're like, I wish I didn't

551
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 3: like that, but I do, and it's porn as sort

552
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 3: of a safe way to act out.

553
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,800
Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question from a male perspective.

554
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,520
Speaker 1: If you had a girlfriend and you found her doing

555
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: what this woman is describing. She found Shay she was

556
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: looking at pictures of some underage actor. Who's a good

557
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 1: underage actor. I want to say Timothy Shallamy.

558
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 2: But he's Ben Wolfard was one with all these like

559
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,480
Speaker 2: fifty year old moms were like getting tattoos of his

560
00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:32,760
Speaker 2: face when he was eleven and being like he's so hot.

561
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: Like if you found air your girlfriend looking at pictures

562
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:38,520
Speaker 1: of a young celebrity that was not eighteen years old,

563
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: how would you react and how would that make you feel?

564
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 3: This is like that movie where Matthew McConaughey gives a

565
00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 3: big speech in court at the end and changes the

566
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 3: whole point of like what.

567
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: A time to kill That was a time to kill Miquel.

568
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 3: It's a time to kill. I would think she's a

569
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 3: little bananas what Like.

570
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't if I if I saw a guy looking

571
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: at a young girl like, I would be done. I'm

572
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: not interested in that. I don't like that.

573
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,200
Speaker 3: No, if I knew what, yeah, yeah, you're you're once,

574
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 3: I'm like, Yeah, if I if I was dating a

575
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: woman who liked looking at underage dick Prince, I'd be like,

576
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: you know what, I think we've done everything we can here.

577
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels like a deal breaker. That's her name, Katie, Katie.

578
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know you think this is the one

579
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: and you probably will marry him and you won't listen

580
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,479
Speaker 1: to me. But I would say, honestly, that's a big

581
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: red flag, a big red Reddit flag.

582
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 2: Does this mean he's into kids? Maybe not? But do

583
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 2: you want to be the one to find out?

584
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 3: Oh?

585
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: Exactly. It's like, there are many people in the world.

586
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,479
Speaker 1: Everyone needs to stop talking about the one. There are

587
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 1: millions of ones. Just find someone else.

588
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: It's not that hard find a better one.

589
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 3: And when you find a better one, you're like, I

590
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 3: have a great one, and I'm like, I'm so glad

591
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 3: I waited.

592
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true.

593
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 3: Once you find you're like, oh yeah, I knew that

594
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 3: I could get like a suit that fit better. You

595
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 3: know what I mean.

596
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 1: It's so profound, Neil, you're like a profit. You're like

597
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,080
Speaker 1: an ally profit.

598
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 3: I do a lot of things apart a lot of

599
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 3: profit works.

600
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 2: Yes, well, our next question comes from Dylan. She writes,

601
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,080
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, I met my husband in September twenty twenty

602
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: one and married him six months later, super quick. I

603
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,480
Speaker 2: know I was single for eight years prior to meeting him,

604
00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 2: and I knew that he was here on a student

605
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: visa to get his masters, but I didn't know the

606
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,760
Speaker 2: deadline was quickly approaching. At that point. He offered me

607
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: three options. One, we could continue dating while he married

608
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 2: another woman strictly as a platonic business agreement. Two, we

609
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 2: could break up so he could pursue another woman who

610
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 2: was ready to get married on the spot. Three, we

611
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,320
Speaker 2: could marry each other. I was so new to being

612
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,479
Speaker 2: back in the dating world and had really strong feelings

613
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 2: for him, and I couldn't imagine losing him. At that point.

614
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 2: I decided to say fuck it and went on to

615
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:55,240
Speaker 2: have a courthouse marriage. I continuously question if I made

616
00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 2: the right decision. I know he's in love with me,

617
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 2: but I'm not sure if he's just using me for citizenship.

618
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: One thing is he works a remote job. He was

619
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 2: introduced virtually to a female coworker who soon left the company.

620
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: They've kept in touch for over a year now. They

621
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 2: text almost every day and have scheduled calls that last

622
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:16,040
Speaker 2: over an hour. Sometimes these include video chats. She cries

623
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 2: to him about her work troubles and personal life, and

624
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 2: even sends postcards from the different states she visits, postcards

625
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,080
Speaker 2: what year are we living in? I'm never privy to

626
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 2: these calls. He secludes himself in the room with the

627
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 2: door closed. I didn't honestly care about this weird friendship

628
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: until we recently had a pretty big fight. When we

629
00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 2: made up, he let a slip that he had planned

630
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: on visiting her if we were actually to separate. This

631
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: set off alarm bells for me. Should I have voiced

632
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: my opinion about their friendship or am I being dramatic?

633
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:45,440
Speaker 1: Dylan, Hi, Dylan, Hi, guys, this is Neil Brennan. He's

634
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: our special ghost today.

635
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 3: Hey, good to meet you.

636
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: We wanted you to have advice from a straight male

637
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 1: and straight females.

638
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:54,600
Speaker 4: Ooh, Okay, this is new.

639
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:59,800
Speaker 1: Honestly, that really sucks, and I would probably I think

640
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,560
Speaker 1: that that something probably is happening that you don't know

641
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: about and leading to that, Like it's all very shady

642
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 1: and it's pretty obvious, like you shouldn't. Nobody has carries

643
00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 1: on those relationships with people unless there aren't like emotional feelings,

644
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. This isn't some friend he's

645
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 1: had since childhood. This is a woman he met at

646
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: his job who's he's carving out special time to have

647
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: video chats with her, like he clearly has feelings for.

648
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,400
Speaker 2: Her, or like she's a backup you know.

649
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, Neil, what do you have to say?

650
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 3: I would agree wholeheartedly. Like I again, not to be

651
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:38,040
Speaker 3: the very bad news, but there's no point in who's

652
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 3: got that much bandwidth for like a romantic relationship and

653
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 3: then like a platonic plus relationship. Also that like work

654
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 3: wife thing. It's like when I when people started saying

655
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 3: where I'm like, this's the person you're gonna fuck when

656
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 3: you guys break up. It's not your work wife, it's

657
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 3: like your miss. It's your open miss. You're my future mistress.

658
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: So it'll be hard. But I think you have to

659
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 3: accept the fact that it might not be what you

660
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 3: wanted to be.

661
00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,120
Speaker 2: Okay, have the two of them ever met in person

662
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 2: or it has been strictly virtual the whole time.

663
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 3: Just virtual?

664
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 2: Okay, it's just weird.

665
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: And it's also like your your alarm bells were already

666
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 1: going off and then you had a fight and he

667
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: kind of delivered the information that should be the end

668
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,360
Speaker 1: of the relationship, like he was going to go visit

669
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,480
Speaker 1: her if you guys didn't get back together. That's kind

670
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: of your answer.

671
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: The relationship with the work wife, or the relationship.

672
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 1: With Dylan, the relationship with the work the work wife,

673
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:37,800
Speaker 1: Like he was going to go visit that girl, right,

674
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,160
Speaker 1: he told you that when you guys got in this fight,

675
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: So like that's your answer. And I feel like I

676
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: think the one the biggest disservice women due to ourselves

677
00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 1: is not listening to the warnings. You know, don't let

678
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 1: him talk you into whatever it's. His behavior demonstrates it

679
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,440
Speaker 1: all by itself. You don't need to have any conversations

680
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: around it. His behavior, your scheduling calls, scheduling zooms or

681
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,320
Speaker 1: facetimes or whatever they're up to. It's all just that's

682
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 1: all the information you need and it does suck, but

683
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:12,200
Speaker 1: I think you don't want to ever learn this lesson again, right, right,

684
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:15,400
Speaker 1: So if you can just get out of this relationship,

685
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: do you feel like you have that, like you're ready

686
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: to get out of this relationship. Not at the moment.

687
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 4: It's not really a good time for that. Just like

688
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 4: personally between the two of us, we just signed a

689
00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 4: new lease on a house, so we're moving again, and.

690
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:30,479
Speaker 3: It's a two year lease.

691
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 4: So I don't know if I should go to him

692
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 4: with like a compromise because I don't really have guy

693
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 4: friends with that type of relationship, or if I should

694
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 4: just say, like, hey, like this just needs to end period.

695
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 4: There's nothing I need to do to make this better.

696
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: I'm just going to say, even if you signed a

697
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: year lease, a two year lease with yes, you can

698
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: give him an ultimatum, but I'm sure that he's going

699
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:53,719
Speaker 1: to continue talking to her behind your back. That's what

700
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,919
Speaker 1: I would predict will happen. And I would also say,

701
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: and I know, I don't know what kind of financial

702
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: position you're in, but I would say the fact that

703
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 1: you signed a least with him for two years does

704
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: not mean you can't break up with him, Okay, you

705
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: have to figure out a way, like to say, listen,

706
00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: I don't trust this situation. I want you to be

707
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,239
Speaker 1: done with this woman. If he says yes, fine, no problem, fine,

708
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 1: and you want to give it a chance, go, I

709
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,879
Speaker 1: would say, just get out of the situation. Don't waste

710
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 1: another two years of your life with somebody like this.

711
00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 3: I just yeah, you may have to buy your freedom,

712
00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 3: but it'll be worth it.

713
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know that doesn't sound good, but it

714
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: will be worth it. I would hate to see you

715
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: waste another two years of your life with somebody that

716
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:33,040
Speaker 1: is like that.

717
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no I think the I think good thing

718
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 3: that a lot of people do is talk yourself out

719
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 3: of what you know. I me like, no, And also,

720
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 3: I want to be a Relationships are hard work. They're

721
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 3: not that hard, you know what I mean, Like, they're

722
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,759
Speaker 3: not they don't require that much grace and generosity on

723
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 3: your part, Like this is so far beyond the pale

724
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 3: to me. I'm with what Chelsea said, which is like,

725
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 3: try to get out of it.

726
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sorry. I hate to give you that kind

727
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:06,240
Speaker 1: of answer. You know, we all do because it sucks.

728
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: But you decide what your value is. Like we all

729
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: kind of decide what we're going to tolerate and what

730
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,959
Speaker 1: we're not. And I really think this is a moment

731
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: in your life where you have to decide what are

732
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: you worth to yourself? Okay?

733
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, all right?

734
00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I and try not to let the financial

735
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: aspect of making a commitment. He can find another roommate

736
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 1: or find another go get that girl to move in

737
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 1: whatever I want you to free up and go meet

738
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: the person you're really supposed to be with.

739
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 3: Okay.

740
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can lose the security deposit. You can make

741
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 2: that money again, but you can't get that time back.

742
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: Okay.

743
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and yeah, show yourself some respect.

744
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. Thanks, sending you a lot of love, honey.

745
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 4: All right, I appreciate it.

746
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,000
Speaker 2: Thanks Dylan.

747
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:50,040
Speaker 3: Bye.

748
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: We've had some bad news on this podcast today.

749
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 3: It's not usually is.

750
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:59,799
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like doctor Phil, but.

751
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,800
Speaker 2: Not really breaking people up. Well, hopefully we can help Maria.

752
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 2: She's just trying to get late.

753
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 3: So oh, I wouldn't I wouldn't bet on it.

754
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: Well, Neil, you're just single. You can have sex with

755
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: her if she needs somebody to have sex with her.

756
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:15,279
Speaker 3: I'm not single. I have a lady. Oh, oh shit,

757
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 3: I said that I have a I have a lady

758
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,320
Speaker 3: now and it's like a custom mates. It's awesome.

759
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,400
Speaker 1: Oh that's so nice that she's not a comedian.

760
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 2: No, is this the one you went on the coffee

761
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,920
Speaker 2: date with and went into another?

762
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 3: Nope, nope, this woman's actually a therapist, it's all.

763
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 1: It's his therapist.

764
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:36,719
Speaker 3: Actually, by a therapist, I mean my therapist. Yes, and

765
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 3: it was actually my couples therapists with my act kidding,

766
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 3: I kid, I kid, it's.

767
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: Like Johnny deppan is divorce attorney, but a beautiful romance.

768
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 2: Well, Maria is twenty three, so she's too young anyway.

769
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:49,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not allowed to talk to her.

770
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 2: She's three. I should go, so, she says, Dear Chelsea,

771
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 2: my name's Maria and I'm a twenty three year old

772
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: woman and I've lately been having issues navigating relationships. A

773
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 2: lot of my close friends and family are the old

774
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 2: ball and chain type, and after seeing that shit, no thanks.

775
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 2: I also grew up going to Catholic school, so casual

776
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,319
Speaker 2: sex and dating was never really an option. However, since

777
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 2: I've moved to Chicago, I've realized that I just want

778
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: to be alone with myself and my dogs, Drew, Marrymore

779
00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 2: and Potato. Plus, I just realized I'm a lesbian after

780
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 2: getting out of a three year relationship. Shout out to

781
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,680
Speaker 2: Rene Wrap for that revelation. So I feel like I

782
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: have a lot of scissoring to catch up on.

783
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: Oh m hm.

784
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 2: This took a lot out of me and made me

785
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 2: realize at this point, I just want sex and attention.

786
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,120
Speaker 2: I'm talking freer than a public restroom, and I honestly

787
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: don't know how to go about that. I flirt with

788
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 2: men for attention, and I've been super open with them

789
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 2: about that, but it always ends with them buying me

790
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: gifts and becoming possessive. And then with women, we'll sleep

791
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,120
Speaker 2: together and then they get emotionally invested and social media

792
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,680
Speaker 2: stock me. One even put an air tag on my car.

793
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 2: So my question is how do I set those boundaries

794
00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 2: and tell people I don't want to be with them

795
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: in that way?

796
00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 1: Maria, Hi, Maria, Hi, this is our special guest Neil

797
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 1: Brennan today. Hi Maria, Hey, Well, good for you for

798
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 1: having so many options. I envy that. I think that

799
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: all these dating sites, you know, you can make it

800
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 1: very clear on Tinder, unhinge on all these things, all

801
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 1: these platforms, that you're not looking for anything serious and

802
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,359
Speaker 1: that you are looking for casual fun encounters, and people

803
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: appreciate that honesty, and you're going to find people that

804
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: are also looking for the same thing. Just like front

805
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: load that information, you know what I mean, put that

806
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 1: up front and center. Because some people are also they

807
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:38,080
Speaker 1: don't want to deal with the relationship aspect. They feel

808
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: the same way you do, so it's kind of like

809
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,839
Speaker 1: a shortcut to meeting those But I would just say

810
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,040
Speaker 1: to put your profile up on all of those things,

811
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:47,880
Speaker 1: because tell that's what Tinder specially is for sex. I mean,

812
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 1: I feel like it right, it's not for dating, and

813
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: all these platforms are for sex, so it's I mean,

814
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:56,080
Speaker 1: it's not a real problem. I don't think.

815
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,839
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, Maria, I have a question as a man,

816
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,879
Speaker 3: you said you're flirting with men for attention, and then

817
00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 3: are you taking all the all the sexual energy and

818
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,520
Speaker 3: bringing it to women and then having sex with them

819
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 3: or are you do you sleep with the men sometimes?

820
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: I sleep with the guys sometimes.

821
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 3: I like and then they get what if they were

822
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,480
Speaker 3: nineteen Chelsea, would you like her style? Then?

823
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 1: There legal. I don't know anything about allyship at all.

824
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,799
Speaker 3: I'm a bad ally. I just remembered I directed half

825
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,320
Speaker 3: of the first season of Amy Schumer, so that again

826
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:41,160
Speaker 3: put another chip on the ally if I'm ever in trouble.

827
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 3: So okay, so and the guys are getting you tell

828
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 3: the guys that it's you like to keep it sexual,

829
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 3: and they're getting attached.

830
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:55,319
Speaker 1: Also, yeah, that's only because yeah, men are so you're

831
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: saying that, yes exactly, and they.

832
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,160
Speaker 3: Know that if you said I can't wait to see

833
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 3: you again, you would never see them exactly.

834
00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,800
Speaker 1: That's actually a right tactic. You should just completely switch

835
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,800
Speaker 1: tactics and say you're looking for a relationship and you

836
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 1: will get the opposite response.

837
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:12,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, and be like, whoops, I slept with you. Yeah,

838
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 3: and go up, I fucked you. I accidentally fucked you.

839
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 1: And if you don't want to see that person again

840
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: after you fuck them, say I love you. Yeah, I

841
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,880
Speaker 1: can't say it during sex. Say it during sex, and

842
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 1: you will never ever see that person again.

843
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 2: Make eye contact.

844
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:31,640
Speaker 1: This is for the men only. And I don't know

845
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: what goes on in lesbian circles like I only I mean,

846
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: I only have lesbian friends. I have ever been operated

847
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 1: in a lesbian relationship. So, but yes, I would say

848
00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: throw actually throw out everything I said and go with

849
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:45,719
Speaker 1: what Neil said and just say you're looking for love,

850
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,280
Speaker 1: and then you won't have any problems.

851
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:51,279
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, well yeah, do lesbian? I mean, I feel

852
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 3: like lesbians would be like I may. They might say,

853
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 3: I also love you, I'm getting to love you. Am

854
00:41:58,400 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 3: I wrong? Am I stereotyping?

855
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 2: I think you're.

856
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 1: I love that line. I'm going to use that line.

857
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 1: I'm getting to love you too. That's what I must

858
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,640
Speaker 1: say the next time someone's.

859
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,680
Speaker 3: In that direction, I'm not there yet, they get into it.

860
00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,799
Speaker 3: I wonder how you could handle it with lesbian if

861
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 3: you said I'm not interested, would they take you? Would

862
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,080
Speaker 3: they would they take your word for it? Are they

863
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: taking your word for it? And now?

864
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:28,040
Speaker 1: No?

865
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,520
Speaker 2: They they take it as a challenge.

866
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,360
Speaker 1: They're like, okay, so, like, what do I have to

867
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 1: do to make you like me again?

868
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:36,920
Speaker 3: Like?

869
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 1: Why did it stop so annoying? It's just like you're

870
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,200
Speaker 1: just trying to have some casual set.

871
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:44,719
Speaker 3: Yeah. Literally, I think we have a good plan for

872
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,600
Speaker 3: the guys. I don't I feel unqualified to give you

873
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 3: directions for lesbians.

874
00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 2: I feel like you gotta like bang them and block

875
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 2: them like you got it, or be like, hey, your

876
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,839
Speaker 2: friend's really cute. Can you introduce me to her?

877
00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:00,040
Speaker 1: Like that's kind of a douchebag, Yeah, if you're a dick, Yeah.

878
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 2: That makes sense.

879
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,919
Speaker 3: Yeah. And if that doesn't work, fake your own death.

880
00:43:05,400 --> 00:43:08,280
Speaker 1: Have you thought about faking your own obviously?

881
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 3: Like?

882
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:14,479
Speaker 1: Who has it? Okay, stay strong and I'm so happy

883
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,480
Speaker 1: you're having so much sex. Good for you, thank you,

884
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:21,000
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm Maria. But what city background was?

885
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 2: She's in Chicago, and Chicago is the best city to

886
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 2: be young and queer in, especially for lesbians. It is

887
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 2: the best, is it? We have a whole neighborhood of

888
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 2: lesbians of lesbians. It's called Anderson Mill.

889
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: That's oh, it should be called And you know what's.

890
00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 3: Funny is that you guys start reading the letter and

891
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 3: then you'll and then I paint a picture of them

892
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 3: in my head, and then you bring them on camera

893
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 3: like halfway through the letter. It should be part of

894
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 3: the show, like a game show, like what do you

895
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 3: think this person looks like? Yeah? And then they come

896
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 3: up and it's never what I'm over to.

897
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 1: So far, we have to take a break, Neil on

898
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,400
Speaker 1: that thoughtful interaction that we just had. We have to

899
00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 1: take a break and we'll be right back. Okay, and

900
00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 1: we're back.

901
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 2: We are back.

902
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:08,959
Speaker 1: That was our break and we're back.

903
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 2: Yes, we have a little quickie to wrap up with. Okay, great,

904
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:13,880
Speaker 2: the email is slightly long, but.

905
00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 3: You know the I have a question. I have a

906
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 3: question about quickies real quick. When you say let's have

907
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 3: a quickie, right, as a woman, let's have a quickie,

908
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 3: do you expect that you'll have an orgasm or is

909
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 3: it just to get the sexual energy an orgasm?

910
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:36,520
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, yeah, we want to come yeah, like five

911
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,160
Speaker 2: minutes or less, like make it happen.

912
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:41,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Look, I didn't love your tone. Didn't love

913
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 3: either of your tone. Understood, will do it. I have

914
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,880
Speaker 3: a very mercenary approach to sex, which is like I

915
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 3: go in for you the pardoner, to have an orgasm,

916
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 3: and then once you're all set, then I go okay,

917
00:44:59,080 --> 00:44:59,799
Speaker 3: now it's my turn.

918
00:45:00,040 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 2: Perfect.

919
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,880
Speaker 1: That's what most men should be doing. Yes, you go

920
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 1: in service your woman and then you can penetrate her.

921
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's not even the that's not even that

922
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 3: well you're now you're saying, is the penetration wouldn't give

923
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 3: her an organ which as an ally, I know that

924
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 3: it often does. Well.

925
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 1: I know from talking to people that you've had sex

926
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:21,400
Speaker 1: with that you are not what you're doing doesn't result

927
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: in a lot of orgasms.

928
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 3: You That is not true. That is I can't. I'm

929
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:30,320
Speaker 3: thinking about the people you could.

930
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 2: Have read a letter I was gonna say, Neil, I

931
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: was very pleased with your sex advice for guys.

932
00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: Also very very Yes, I actually was too. You were

933
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,759
Speaker 1: paying attention and you were really listening, and that's a

934
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 1: good quality in a man.

935
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, I thought it was, so it's great

936
00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:47,520
Speaker 3: to hear it.

937
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: Nicky says dear Chelsea. I've been dating my boyfriend for

938
00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 2: almost six years. We're in a very serious relationship, live together,

939
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: and are in the midst of preparing to get engaged

940
00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:58,560
Speaker 2: and build a life together. The only problem is that

941
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 2: he is a Republican and I am a Democrat. We

942
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 2: both come from a very liberal metropolitan city, and when

943
00:46:04,400 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: we first started dating, I was naive enough to think

944
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:09,800
Speaker 2: that everyone I knew was naturally a Democrat. I remember

945
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 2: during the midterms asking if he wanted to come with

946
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 2: me to vote, and he said he didn't want to

947
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 2: get caught in the rain.

948
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:19,840
Speaker 1: That's good for Republicans, Yes, exactly. I know.

949
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,800
Speaker 2: I was young, dumb and in love and I just

950
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 2: didn't notice. We've had our ups and downs with politics,

951
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,759
Speaker 2: and certainly had our growing pains, and even broke up

952
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 2: twice over it. So she goes on to say like

953
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: he's generally really respectful with her and respects her opinions,

954
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,759
Speaker 2: he actually wants to talk about things with her, and

955
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 2: she gets very sort of like upset with him and emotional,

956
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 2: but she says, other than that, he is a really wonderful,

957
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 2: sweet person, extremely loving and generous. His friends are even

958
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 2: very respectful with their Republican beliefs. And the only problem

959
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,239
Speaker 2: is I can't help but feel that I'm doing the

960
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,080
Speaker 2: world at a service by being with a Republican. Is

961
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 2: he being the bigger person by accepting me and my

962
00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: views and I'm being closed minded? Nikki?

963
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,120
Speaker 3: This is one of these things where it's like if

964
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 3: two women who I'm assuming are liberal or Democrats, right,

965
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,920
Speaker 3: what do you think when a guy's Republican? Do you

966
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,799
Speaker 3: just assume that what assumptions do you make?

967
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: Great question? I assume that they are cheap? I assume

968
00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: that they're not as open minded with the LGBTQ community.

969
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:22,480
Speaker 1: You know, they have their own opinions about anti trans

970
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,800
Speaker 1: is a big one. And also what about abortion? I

971
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,360
Speaker 1: mean yeah, you know, yeah, I was just gonna say, like,

972
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: you're taking away people's rights, actively supporting a party that's

973
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,479
Speaker 1: taking away women's and other people's rights. So I don't

974
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 1: really I couldn't do it be with a Republican, but

975
00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 1: I would like to tell people that it's possible. I

976
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: would like to have the feelings that, yes, you can

977
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,320
Speaker 1: make it work if you love him and he's respectful

978
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: about your opinions. But it is a major value differentiation

979
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 1: when you're talking about human rights.

980
00:47:57,440 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, so yeah, I.

981
00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 1: Mean that is that.

982
00:47:59,440 --> 00:48:01,520
Speaker 3: That's what I'm curious about. It's like, what you know,

983
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 3: It's like some people are Republican, but they're like not

984
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 3: about certain things, And is it worth making a distinction,

985
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:11,160
Speaker 3: and is it just like, well, do you think I

986
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:15,560
Speaker 3: should stay? Should I should? Twenty six thousand women in

987
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,320
Speaker 3: Texas have to give birth because of rape, you know

988
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,360
Speaker 3: that statistic that in the last eighteen months. Thinks so

989
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 3: like oh God, like shit, that's so dire and depressing

990
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:29,800
Speaker 3: and you're like, do you you know, do you support that?

991
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 3: Because you do support that, it seems highly improbable.

992
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,640
Speaker 1: And I don't What do you think about people who

993
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,320
Speaker 1: say that they don't support that but they're still a Republican.

994
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,400
Speaker 3: I think that they are naive.

995
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 1: Yes, I agree with you, you know what.

996
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 3: I mean, Like, I think they're either naive at best

997
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 3: and lying at worst. You know what I mean.

998
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's a hard answer. It's another this

999
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 1: is another DeBie downer. I would say, I can't do it.

1000
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: If you could do it, great, if you could get

1001
00:48:57,280 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 1: past it, great, if you can just divorce yourself and departmentalize,

1002
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: you know, your relationship in that way that you guys

1003
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: aren't going to agree that I'm that, then good for you.

1004
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't be able to do that.

1005
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean asterisk. If he's not voting at all,

1006
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,759
Speaker 2: does it matter? I mean it does, but well, you know,

1007
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:16,440
Speaker 2: is he not voting or did he not in the midterms?

1008
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 2: But if he's not voting at all, then, like, I

1009
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:20,439
Speaker 2: don't know, maybe it's less of an issue.

1010
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, if he's not voting, great, well.

1011
00:49:22,719 --> 00:49:25,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, if we can count on it raining every election,

1012
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 3: and then this is this relationship is definitely going to work.

1013
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 3: But the minute the sunshines, watch out.

1014
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: Neil. You were a delight.

1015
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 3: It was great to spend time with you.

1016
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 1: I loved having you on and everyone you have to

1017
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,040
Speaker 1: watch his special and then you have to watch his

1018
00:49:43,120 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: other specials because you are a fucking very talented man

1019
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 1: and you're very funny. And it's called Crazy Good and

1020
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: it's on Netflix. And Neil also has a podcast called Blocks.

1021
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:52,799
Speaker 3: That's right.

1022
00:49:53,320 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 2: What kind of things do you talk about on What

1023
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 2: do you talk about on Blocks?

1024
00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 3: Yeah? Well, so I had a special called Blocks where

1025
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,279
Speaker 3: I talked about my emotional blocks, right, and then so

1026
00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 3: now I have other comedians come on, and like Letterman

1027
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 3: came on, and Bill Burr and Bert and Tom and

1028
00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,840
Speaker 3: you know, Jimmy Carr, just a bunch of people, hopefully Chelsea,

1029
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:16,960
Speaker 3: Nikki Glazer, whatever, Trevor Noah just did good people do

1030
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,239
Speaker 3: it and they're kind of very sweetly emotionally forthcoming.

1031
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:21,120
Speaker 1: Oh clear.

1032
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:24,520
Speaker 3: So it's interesting. Yeah, like it's you would actually be like,

1033
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,080
Speaker 3: you'll probably like more of most of the people more

1034
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 3: than you thought you did, because they you actually hear like, oh,

1035
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:34,840
Speaker 3: Tom Segura was sad to go on the road because

1036
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 3: he was going to miss his kid. Oh shit, like

1037
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 3: that letterman didn't leave the studio until the sun went

1038
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 3: down if he had a bad show. And I was like, Dave,

1039
00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 3: that's like eight thirty nine, and he goes, no, we're

1040
00:50:48,040 --> 00:50:51,360
Speaker 3: talking ten thirty eleven as an adult. Just shit that

1041
00:50:51,719 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 3: I've never heard people say.

1042
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:54,440
Speaker 1: It was he also fucking his assistant.

1043
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,919
Speaker 3: If you think I didn't see you, think that joke

1044
00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 3: didn't come into the teleprompter else when he said it

1045
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:05,879
Speaker 3: and I didn't say it, Chelsea. Not every joke has

1046
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 3: to be said, Chelsea.

1047
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:10,960
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Neil, that sounds like a great podcast. I

1048
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:12,440
Speaker 1: would love to be on anytime.

1049
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:15,400
Speaker 3: But you're inviting hit me up, don't threaten me with

1050
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 3: a good time.

1051
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1052
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,600
Speaker 3: Well, we're going to get to the bottom of you.

1053
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the bottom of your

1054
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: ally ship is.

1055
00:51:21,040 --> 00:51:22,799
Speaker 3: What We're going to get to the bottom, right we are?

1056
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: Thank you, Neil.

1057
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 3: It was great to spend having by. Are you guys? Bye?

1058
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 2: Thanks Maye.

1059
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:32,240
Speaker 1: Okay, guys, So for stand Up, we added a second

1060
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: show in Sydney, and we added a second show in

1061
00:51:35,640 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 1: Prior Lake, Minnesota, which is now going to be May

1062
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:42,480
Speaker 1: twenty fourth. We added the Santa Barbara Bowl, which is

1063
00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 1: so fun. I performed there last year. That's August seventeenth,

1064
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 1: the Santa Barbara Bowl. We added a second show at

1065
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: Santa Rosa on August second, and we added two dates

1066
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 1: at Hawaii. Guys. I'm coming to Hawaii on July nineteenth

1067
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: to CO Who Louis. I'm gonna be at CA Who Louis,

1068
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: and then I'm coming on July twenty at to Honolulu.

1069
00:52:07,440 --> 00:52:11,480
Speaker 1: And oh I just added another date on August one Auburn, Washington.

1070
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: So and all my Australia and New Zealand dates are up,

1071
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: and I will be announcing a European tour shortly and

1072
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: May third, which is my mother's birthday, Norman, Oklahoma, so come.

1073
00:52:26,080 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1074
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,320
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1075
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:34,400
Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1076
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

1077
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1078
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 2: com