1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,720 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Ja Shetty, and I just want to take 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: a moment to thank you to express my deepest gratitude 3 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:09,799 Speaker 1: to you for choosing to listen to on Purpose for 4 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: our first episode of this year, twenty twenty two. This 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:19,400 Speaker 1: year is going to be the biggest, the best, the deepest, 6 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,120 Speaker 1: the most genuine, and most sincere year on on Purpose 7 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: of all time. Since we launched in twenty nineteen, I've 8 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 1: had the pleasure and the honor of sitting down with 9 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,680 Speaker 1: some incredible guests, everyone from Will Smith to Alicia keys 10 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: Uval Noah Harari to Ray Dahlio, all the way through 11 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,520 Speaker 1: to June Ico Big, Sean Russ and many many more. 12 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: We've had incredible thinkers like doctor Joe Dispenser, Gretchen Ruben, 13 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: and doctor Mark Hyman. I really hope that you're going 14 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: to go back and listen to any of those guests 15 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: that you're excited about, but I also hope that you'll 16 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: join me this year for new guests and new insights. 17 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: Here's how it works. Every Monday, I launched an episode 18 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: which is an interview star with a guest, and on 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: Friday a solo episode where I dive deep into something 20 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: i've been going into with my health and wellness journey. 21 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,080 Speaker 1: I couldn't be more grateful and proud of the amazing 22 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: community that we've built here on Purpose. I love seeing 23 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: your Instagram post, your tweets, and every other social media 24 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: platform you're on, and this year it's just going to 25 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,559 Speaker 1: be phenomenal. Thank you for joining me today. I can't 26 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 1: wait for you to listen to this episode. This is 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: a special behind the scenes episode of an interview between 28 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: me and Gwyneth Paltrow at her Goop event. This took 29 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: place at the Porsche Design Center in LA and there 30 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: were only around one hundred and fifty people in the audience. 31 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,920 Speaker 1: This is a sneak peek. This is what we do 32 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: on on Purpose. I really hope you enjoyed this conversation. 33 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: I can't wait to see your reviews and I hope 34 00:01:53,360 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: you share it. I'm so happy to see ye thanking me. 35 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 1: I didn't know if you were going to make it 36 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:09,440 Speaker 1: after all those dwelling parties that It has been a 37 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: really crazy week, but in a good way. And I'm 38 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,800 Speaker 1: just really grateful to be here with all of you. 39 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. This is beautiful. 40 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,119 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you. So I would love 41 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: it if you could just give everybody a little bit 42 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: of your amazing story and how you came through being 43 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,639 Speaker 1: a monk and into being this amazing life coach and 44 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: motivator and all of the amazing things that you are. 45 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: So I was born and raised in London, and I 46 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: grew up in a family where I had three options 47 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: to be a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure. And 48 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: I chose the third option. And so, to my parents' surprise, 49 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 1: when I was eighteen years old, I told them that 50 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 1: when I graduated from school that I would go off 51 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,400 Speaker 1: to become a monk. And they didn't believe me. They 52 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: were just like, yeah, sure, it's a faith. And so 53 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: when I was eighteen years old, I was invited to 54 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 1: an event at my university and it was somewhat similar 55 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: to this in the sense that the event was around 56 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: introducing people at university to thinkers thought leaders. I know, 57 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,960 Speaker 1: you've had an incredible lineup of guests this evening, and 58 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,000 Speaker 1: I went along because my friends promised me that we 59 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: would go to a bar afterwards. I didn't want to 60 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: go to this event, and I said, as long as 61 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: we go to a bar afterwards, I'll come and hear 62 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,280 Speaker 1: this monk or whatever you want me to hear. So 63 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: I went along to this event and this monk was speaking, 64 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: and I went there expecting nothing, but I walked away 65 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: feeling like I had completely found a new path in 66 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: life because the monk was speaking about selflessness and service 67 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: and using our time to have an impact in the world. 68 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: So when I graduated, I traded my suits for robes. 69 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: I lived on the floor. All my possessions fit inside 70 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: a gym locker. We meditated for four to eight hours 71 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: a day, and I lived that life for three years. 72 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: And then at the end of it there were two things, 73 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: and the fast version is my teachers said to me 74 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: that they felt that it was time for me to 75 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: go on and share what I'd learned. It was one 76 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: of those it's not you, it's me conversations. I basically 77 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: got kicked out of being a monk. So my parents 78 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: are like, you failed at this too. And when I 79 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: came back, which was now eight years ago, I really 80 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: really saw a world in which everything I'd learned I 81 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,159 Speaker 1: felt had so much of a space in these busy, hectic, 82 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: chaotic lives, and I had no idea how I was 83 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: going to try and share what I'd learned. But I 84 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: started and took a few steps and then you know, 85 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 1: here we are today, where I've been really fortunate and 86 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 1: feel really grateful that I've been able to work with 87 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: so many incredible people, have been able to connect with 88 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 1: so many beautiful humans, have been able to connect with 89 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 1: so many of you that I bumped into today as well. 90 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: And I think that it all started because I met 91 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: someone who changed the trajectory of my life. And had 92 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 1: I not met him, then I wouldn't be here today. 93 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: But that's a that's a pretty extreme outcome, right, Like 94 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: a lot of us have read a book or her 95 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: a talk and felt inspired or felt a calling to 96 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: change our lives or to think about things in it 97 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:24,200 Speaker 1: was a different way. But to go and renounce life 98 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: as you knew it for three years is a pretty 99 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: bold move. And I wanted to ask you what was 100 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,719 Speaker 1: the process like of letting go of the material world, 101 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: if you will, And was that traumatic at all? Was 102 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,039 Speaker 1: there grief in it? Like? How did you get used 103 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: to the life as among having been just a normal 104 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: London student. I think there were a few things. The 105 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 1: first thing was when I met him, and now when 106 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: I reflect on it, I realized that at the time, 107 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: when I was eighteen years old, I'd met a lot 108 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 1: of people who were rich. I'd met people that had 109 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,080 Speaker 1: been famous. I'd met people who were successful. I'd met 110 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: people who were strong and powerful and beautiful. But I 111 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,400 Speaker 1: don't think i'd met anyone who is truly happy. And 112 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: he was happy, he still is happy, still a monk today, 113 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: and he was happy, and I thought, I want to 114 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 1: understand that, And it was almost a moment if I 115 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: want that. So my twenty two year old self, when 116 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: I went off to become a monk, I had this 117 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:31,720 Speaker 1: boundless enthusiasm to say, I want to live this process 118 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: exactly how they live it. I don't want to take 119 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 1: any shortcuts. I don't want to let my mind keep 120 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 1: me in my comfort zone. I have to go all out. 121 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,600 Speaker 1: And so I feel like it was almost a boundary 122 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: or a commitment that I made that no matter how 123 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,159 Speaker 1: I feel, I'm going to live it exactly how they do, 124 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: because maybe if I don't do it how they are, 125 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: then I won't read the benefits. And so I think, 126 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: actually it was easier at the time. Now if you 127 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: ask me to do it, feel like, no, I'm fine, 128 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: I really like my bed and I like sleeping for 129 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 1: eight hours a night. But at the time I had 130 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: this enthusiasm which was I just want to see if 131 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: it works. And I think that's why many experiments are 132 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: so important in our lives. You don't have to do 133 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: it for three years, but the mini experiment of let 134 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: me for a week follow it exactly like this person saying, 135 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,119 Speaker 1: let me for a weekend, do exactly what I'm hearing 136 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: or reading in this book or from this speaker. Let 137 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: me for this day, just live that way and see 138 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: what happens. And so actually removing myself from the material 139 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: world when I became a monk was easier because for 140 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: the four years in between, I'd been doing these mini experiments. 141 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: So the first time I went to the ushroom and 142 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,160 Speaker 1: they told me that I couldn't listen to fifty cent 143 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: like that moment, that moment was hard because I was like, what, 144 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: I don't get to listen to music? And then they 145 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: told me that I wouldn't get to what's television or 146 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: so the first time I went that was hard. But 147 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: what I realized was the sacrifice was just not comparable 148 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,120 Speaker 1: to the payoff. And I think that's what it comes 149 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 1: down to, You have the choice to do all these 150 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: things whenever you want, any time. So to close off 151 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: for a day, a weekend, a week it's worth the test, 152 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: It's worth the experiment. So interesting. So what do you 153 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: think it is about not having free will in whatever 154 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: these circumstances are that has power in it? Well, I 155 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: think I think we've come to a place where we 156 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: feel that freedom and the freedom of unlimited choice is power. 157 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: And we've all realized, and the science and the studies 158 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: all show this that the more choice we have, the 159 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 1: worst mistakes we make, and we make poorer decisions based 160 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 1: on this complete, limitless choice. And I found that actually, 161 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: when you stripped away some of that choice, your ability 162 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: to make decisions grow because now I wasn't experiencing what 163 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: we all know now to be called decision fatigue. I 164 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:13,079 Speaker 1: wasn't wasting my time making decisions that were irrelevant to 165 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,600 Speaker 1: my personal fulfillment and satisfaction. So now, when you're not 166 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: having to think about certain choices in your day, you're 167 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: freed up to make choices in a healthier way. And 168 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: so I found that actually making certain parts of our 169 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: life systematic, routine, habitual, communal as well allowed for space 170 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: for creativity, spontaneity, and true expression, whereas I think a 171 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: lot of us feel like, no, no, if I just 172 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: can choose everything that I do every day, that will 173 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: give rise to spontaneity, but it does the opposite. Yeah. 174 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Yeah? Totally. It sounds like it 175 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 1: adds like these are the layers of responsibility that we 176 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: heap on ourselves, which is like choices that we make 177 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: actually keep us sort of slave to the responsibility. Yes, exactly. 178 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: So when you were there, you were you able to 179 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: really connect with happiness and did you bring it home? 180 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: I think when I was there, I was able to 181 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: really learn how to find stillness in discomfort, and I 182 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,560 Speaker 1: think that was the biggest thing that I gained from that. 183 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 1: So I'll tell you a story of an experience that 184 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 1: I would never wish on anyone and do not recommend. 185 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 1: But we did a seventy two hour train journey from 186 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: North India to South India. Seventy two hours. It has 187 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 1: random stops, but you don't actually physically get off for 188 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: longer than fifteen minutes at a stop, So there's no 189 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:51,760 Speaker 1: pause for seventy two hours, and as a monk, you 190 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,840 Speaker 1: travel in like coach, but coach in India is not 191 00:10:56,000 --> 00:11:00,679 Speaker 1: coach in the United States. So coach is you're literally 192 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: surrounded by people who haven't paid for a ticket, like 193 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: it's just infiltrated with people, and you're just surrounded by 194 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: all these villagers and people that you haven't even met, 195 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:10,719 Speaker 1: and they don't have a ticket, and you don't even 196 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 1: know where they're going. And I decided that I wouldn't 197 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: eat for three days because on the first day I 198 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,439 Speaker 1: saw the state of the toilet and the restroom on 199 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: the train, and so I decided I would do a 200 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 1: voluntary fast. And you know, to all my teachers, I 201 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,280 Speaker 1: seemed really detached at this point. They were just like wow, 202 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I'm just I'm so detached 203 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 1: and renounced now from food, and really I was just like, no, 204 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 1: I do not want to go in there. So that's 205 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 1: this is a very uncomfortable scenario as a Londoner. I'm 206 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,079 Speaker 1: used to taking the underground and you know, used to 207 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,080 Speaker 1: driving around my car, and I'm used to you know, 208 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,839 Speaker 1: clean bathrooms and all the rest of it. So this 209 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: is an uncomfortable situation. And it was really interesting because 210 00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: I remember saying to my teacher who we were traveling with, 211 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: that I would meditate in the stops. I said to him, 212 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: it's too chaotic on the train. I said, it's too 213 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: difficult to have focus on the train. When we stop, 214 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: I'll get off, I'll meditate for twenty minutes, I'll come 215 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 1: back on, and I'll do that every stop. And he 216 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: looked me in the eyes and he said, do you 217 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:21,280 Speaker 1: think life is going to be chaotic like the train 218 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: or still like the stop? And I was like, is 219 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: this a trick question? He said, he said, life is 220 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: going to be chaotic like the train. And so if 221 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,239 Speaker 1: you don't learn how to meditate on the train, meditating 222 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: on the stop is not going to help you. And 223 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: I think that, in a nutshell, is how I feel. 224 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: I experienced joy happiness. The happiness wasn't in an experience 225 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,880 Speaker 1: of feeling happy in the way we think about it. 226 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,600 Speaker 1: It was in the joy of knowing I could navigate 227 00:12:56,640 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: any situation. It wasn't that you felt happy because you 228 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,640 Speaker 1: did something right. It's because you never felt like you 229 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: didn't know what to do to navigate pain. And so 230 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: that's where the definition of knowing how to navigate challenges 231 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 1: became more joyful than the idea that I could avoid challenges. 232 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: And I think that desire of you know where we 233 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: are today where we call them unwanted emotions, the challenges. 234 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: Everything we don't want is unavoidable. So if I say 235 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 1: I never want to feel pain again, or I never 236 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,400 Speaker 1: want to feel stress again, that's not true for anyone, 237 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 1: including the monks, including me, including any of us. And 238 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,120 Speaker 1: so actually knowing that I am going to feel all 239 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: of these things, but I know what to do with 240 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: then that is a position of strength and joy and 241 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 1: happiness and what do you do with it? Laugh is 242 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:53,240 Speaker 1: actually truly one of them. There's their mind is compared 243 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,680 Speaker 1: to a monkey in the Vaders, and it's been popularized 244 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 1: today in psychology as well as the monkey mind. But 245 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: to refer to the mind like a monkey, and if 246 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,240 Speaker 1: you've ever seen a monkey, they are hilarious. So in India, 247 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 1: we would see monkeys all the time, and they would 248 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 1: trade their banana for a credit card, like they would 249 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: literally swap and then they would swap it right back. 250 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: And you'd see monkeys like chase anything that looked like 251 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,400 Speaker 1: food in your bag and they'd rip it and steal 252 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: it like they're the best thieves and monkeys are these 253 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: hilarious characters. And the reason why the mind is compared 254 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,360 Speaker 1: to a monkey is because sometimes we need to laugh 255 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: at the things our mind comes up with. Now, what 256 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,479 Speaker 1: we choose to do currently is we choose to criticize 257 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 1: ourselves or we choose to judge ourselves when our mind 258 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 1: does something that we don't like, we think. This literally 259 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,840 Speaker 1: happened to me the other day. I was I was 260 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: in Dallas and my first keynote back since the pandemic, 261 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: and I went in to get a tea at a 262 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: coffee shop and get some coffee for some of my 263 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: team members. And I was waiting there and I went 264 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: to the front and the barista was serving us and 265 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: she may a mistake and how much change she gave 266 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: me and I didn't notice. Actually, I was like, oh, 267 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: thank you so much. And I was about to walk out, 268 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,640 Speaker 1: and literally as I was just about to turn, she said, 269 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,160 Speaker 1: I'm the worst. She just stopped and said and I said, 270 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 1: are you okay? And she said, oh, I just gave 271 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: you the wrong change. I'm the worst. I'm so sorry. 272 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: And I was like, and I literally looked her and 273 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: I said, I said, you're not the worst. You're a human. 274 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: You made a mistake. It's okay, it's fine, you're wonderful. 275 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,360 Speaker 1: Thank you for noticing. And then she gave me the 276 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 1: right change and I left and I was just thinking, wow, 277 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 1: like she saw the monkey mind to make a mistake, 278 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: and she judged herself. She criticized herself. And so the 279 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: first thing we have to do is honestly switch critiquing 280 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,760 Speaker 1: for laughing. Laugh when the monkey mind makes this mistake, 281 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: When your mind tells you something that genuinely is not true, 282 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,240 Speaker 1: allow yourself to laugh, allow yourself to see it with 283 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 1: a bit of humor. And when you start to see that, 284 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: you start to notice that when you don't take the 285 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: mind so seriously, it doesn't have that much of a 286 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,440 Speaker 1: serious effect on you. Moving on from that, sometimes our 287 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 1: emotions are a bit more deeper, and it's hard to 288 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: laugh at them. They're more painful than that. And I 289 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: find that again in that scenario, our desire is to 290 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:11,200 Speaker 1: push them under the carpet, lock them in a door, 291 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: force them away. And actually, in those moments, understanding that, 292 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 1: accepting that emotion and recognizing that, knowing that it's going 293 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 1: to be there, it's almost like the weather. If I 294 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: always say I don't want it to be I don't 295 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: want it to rain. I never want it to rain, 296 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 1: and then it rains. Now I'm scared, I'm unprepared, and 297 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: I'm stressed. Whereas if I accept that it's going to rain, 298 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: I get time to go and pack my umbrella and 299 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: my raincoat. And so I think it's about developing the 300 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,520 Speaker 1: umbrella and the raincoat, and for our emotions, the umbrella 301 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: is community and the raincoat is our tools and our 302 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: habits and our practices of reflection that it help us 303 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 1: break them down. How do we go about cultivating that 304 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: inner life, that space so that we can separate ourselves 305 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:04,159 Speaker 1: from these emotions that blow through us and seem like 306 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:09,240 Speaker 1: they take us over. I genuinely believe that we all 307 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: have to have a foundation of our daily routine that 308 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: gives us the feelings we want, so the challenges that 309 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,560 Speaker 1: we are surrounded by a day where we don't get 310 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: the feeling we want, and that's what we consider to 311 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 1: be a bad day. I didn't get what I wanted 312 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,600 Speaker 1: there for today's a bad day. And actually, in that moment, 313 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: instead of wanting a good day, if we start by 314 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: creating a foundational set of habits and activities that can 315 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: set us up for that day, the healthier we are. 316 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,439 Speaker 1: So I'll give an example. You know, eighty percent of 317 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 1: us study show wake up to our phones first thing 318 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: in the morning, So we see our phones before we 319 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:48,320 Speaker 1: see our partners and our kids, and we see our 320 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 1: phones lasting at night after we see our partners and 321 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 1: our kids, and so our phone gets more FaceTime than 322 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 1: the people we love. And when I think about that, 323 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 1: I think to myself, when you wake up to the 324 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:05,159 Speaker 1: phone in the morning, you wake up to notifications, negativity, news, 325 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: and noise, and these four things make you feel like 326 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: you're starting your day at the bottom of a ladder, 327 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: and now you're spending the day catching up to yourself. 328 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 1: Whereas if your day started with four key habits of thankfulness, inspiration, 329 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,199 Speaker 1: meditational mindfulness, and exercise, you're now starting your day at 330 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,440 Speaker 1: a plus four. And now even if the rest of 331 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 1: the day is challenging, you still end up at a 332 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,639 Speaker 1: plus two or a plus one. And so I like 333 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: to set myself up by saying, what are the habits 334 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 1: that I can practice today that are going to make 335 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,960 Speaker 1: me feel like my day's going in the right direction. 336 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,360 Speaker 1: And they are truly simple thankfulness takes thirty seconds. He's 337 00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: the best way to practice it. I don't recommend a 338 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 1: gratitude journal. I don't recommend writing it down. I recommend 339 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 1: expressing it, making it specific and personalizing it. Send a text, 340 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,960 Speaker 1: send a voice note, send an email, Send a message 341 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: to someone that you're grateful to for the next seven days. 342 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: Send them a message and make it really specific. Don't 343 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,679 Speaker 1: just say thank you GP for this wonderful event not 344 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,480 Speaker 1: good enough. Say thank you for the amazing deck, or 345 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,639 Speaker 1: thank you for the incredible experience. Thank you for what 346 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,119 Speaker 1: this felt like, look like, what it smelt like like. 347 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: Share the depth of how that experience was for you. 348 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,960 Speaker 1: If you do that, gratitude actually as the ability to 349 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: boost your immune system. It has the ability to shift 350 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: your perspective and boost your mood. But if you do 351 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:30,960 Speaker 1: it in a way I'm grateful for the air, I'm 352 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,840 Speaker 1: grateful for my kids, I'm grateful for my job. That 353 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,000 Speaker 1: doesn't have that impact and effect because it stays with you, 354 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: because it stays within you. And gratitude is meant to 355 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: be shared. It's a gift that you get to give 356 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: someone else. Inspiration is a big one for me. It's 357 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,800 Speaker 1: at one point in my life, I remember listening to 358 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: apart from the monks, but listening to Steve Jobs's Stanford 359 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 1: commencement speech every day for nine months in a row. 360 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,440 Speaker 1: And not only did I know the words off by heart, 361 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: it really changed my heart listening to that speech every day. 362 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 1: The words in it are so profound and so powerful 363 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,159 Speaker 1: that you start to rewire the neurons in your mind likes. 364 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 1: It's genuinely changing the makeup of your mind. I recently 365 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:17,159 Speaker 1: sat down with Matthew McConaughey on my podcast and I 366 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: said to him that I listened to his Oscar's acceptance 367 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: speech every day. It's a five minute speech. It will 368 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 1: only take five minutes, I said. I listened to it 369 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,919 Speaker 1: every day for thirty days in a row, and that 370 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,679 Speaker 1: rewires how your mind works. Now, you don't have to 371 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 1: listen to people I'm recommending, but whoever it is that 372 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 1: you're drawn to in your life. I promise you, if 373 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:39,040 Speaker 1: you listen to the same thing every single day because 374 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: you like it that much, it will start to rewire 375 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: how you think. It's as simple as that. And then 376 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: meditation and exercise, of course, which I can go into, 377 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,760 Speaker 1: but those four habits for me are like my staple, 378 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:56,639 Speaker 1: my main course, then everything else's sides and dessert. Alright, alright, 379 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: how do you how do you meditate? Do you still 380 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,480 Speaker 1: meditate for forty five minutes in the morning in the 381 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 1: night two hours? It's been two hours for sixteen years. 382 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,040 Speaker 1: Two hours. I thought it was forty five minutes. It's 383 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:13,639 Speaker 1: been two hours for sixteen years, Siah. So I find 384 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 1: meditation elusive, and I do it every morning, and I 385 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: do TM and like this morning, I had the worst 386 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: meditation and I was like counting. I wanted to open 387 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 1: my eyes and check the timer. And some mornings I 388 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 1: go really deep and it's like the most beautiful experience. 389 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 1: So why does that happen? And what can I do 390 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: to I don't know. It sounds stupid, like improve the 391 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: quality of my meditation, But I don't know. If you guys, ever, 392 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 1: if you meditate, you'd have those days where, I mean, 393 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,399 Speaker 1: my meditation teacher said to me, even in a shallow dive, 394 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:03,560 Speaker 1: you get wet. So still do it. But I was 395 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:08,119 Speaker 1: just wondering, like, do you have these euphoric deep meditations 396 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: every day for two hours? I love that? How many 397 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,440 Speaker 1: people will never meditate regularly? How many people don't meditate, 398 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 1: and how many people don't put up their hands no 399 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: matter what I say, I appreciate. So yeah, So I 400 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,720 Speaker 1: started my two hour meditation practice when I was eighteen 401 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 1: years old dirty four today, So it's been sixteen years 402 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,479 Speaker 1: that I've been meditating for two hours a day, and 403 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: that form has taken many different formats. So it could 404 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,200 Speaker 1: be two hours in the morning straight, it could be 405 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: an hour in an hour, it could be four blocks 406 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,960 Speaker 1: of half an hour each depending on what day it is, 407 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: especially now with my busy schedule, it changes all the time. 408 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 1: And how did you land on two hours? Just I 409 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: landed on two hours because as a monk in my tradition, 410 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 1: that amount of time was allotted to anyone who wanted 411 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: to be a teacher. So for the integrity of my 412 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,360 Speaker 1: teaching and my practice and the coaching work I do, 413 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: that's a basic commitment I've made to my teachers as 414 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: how much I need to do. And so it's it's 415 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: purely based on my relationship with my meditation teacher, who 416 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 1: has trusted me with the ability to teach meditation. And 417 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: so it's it's like this big responsibility that I have 418 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: to give up with But it's beautiful. It's really fulfilling. 419 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: And so, like you, I have meditations where I feel 420 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,159 Speaker 1: like I need to check my phone still still to 421 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,200 Speaker 1: this day, till this day, till this day, and so 422 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,919 Speaker 1: till this day, and so the beauty again. So I 423 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:41,879 Speaker 1: have had euphoric, deep, immersive experiences through meditation that have 424 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: proved to me that meditation works that have helped me 425 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: have a glimpse into the deepest experiences that meditations can 426 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 1: take you to. But I don't want to talk about 427 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,040 Speaker 1: those because they don't help anyone. But what does help 428 00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:59,879 Speaker 1: is this idea of knowing that what we're actually do 429 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 1: when you're having that shallow dive, when you're turning up regardless, 430 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 1: you're training your mind to be where you are. You're 431 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 1: training your mind to do uncomfortable things. You're training your 432 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,159 Speaker 1: mind to not just freely do whatever it feels like 433 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:20,120 Speaker 1: in that moment. It's back to the free will. It's 434 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,720 Speaker 1: back to the free will. You are showing yourself that 435 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: even if it's difficult, I can sit with this discomfort, 436 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: even if I don't sit with the discomfort perfectly, I 437 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:35,360 Speaker 1: have sat with the discomfort, and that sitting with discomfort 438 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,320 Speaker 1: is setting you up for success in so many other 439 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,239 Speaker 1: areas of your life, rather than the desire of like 440 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,160 Speaker 1: I don't like this, let me get out of here. 441 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 1: And so I find that meditation's experience is not meant 442 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:54,119 Speaker 1: to be a euphoric, ecstatic experience every time. It's actually 443 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,520 Speaker 1: meant to just give you a signal and alert as 444 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,760 Speaker 1: to how you feel today. So if you feel distracted today, 445 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,760 Speaker 1: meditation is just showing you that today you're going to 446 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,960 Speaker 1: be more distracted. Maybe don't make any big decisions. Use 447 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:11,120 Speaker 1: it as a signal. If I meditate and I fall asleep, 448 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 1: like I did this afternoon, right, that's my body telling me, hey, 449 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: because you are still today, you needed more sleep. So 450 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,760 Speaker 1: meditation is aligning your body and mind so that they 451 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 1: can actually do what they want to do. And if 452 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:31,520 Speaker 1: the answer is distraction, let me not make good big 453 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 1: decisions today, let me not take seriously today, maybe how 454 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,640 Speaker 1: I feel about someone, you know, Maybe let me not 455 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,359 Speaker 1: say something that I don't mean today because actually my 456 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: mind's distracted. Yeah, you can use it as a litmus test, exactly. 457 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 1: That's I see meditation as that especially interesting, right. It's 458 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 1: like a diagnostic tool. Right. And so if someone wants 459 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 1: to start meditation, How do you suggest that they do it? 460 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: Are there certain apps? Are certain books one should read? Yeah, 461 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,119 Speaker 1: so there are three types of meditation that I was 462 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 1: trained in, but that I see across the world today. 463 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 1: There's breathwork, there's visualization, and there's mantra, so a team 464 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:15,240 Speaker 1: of course, there's mantra visualization I'm sure you've heard of, 465 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:18,360 Speaker 1: but visualization is actually even performed by Formula one races 466 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 1: athletes who visualize. And then you have breathwork, of course, 467 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,880 Speaker 1: which again I feel is quite widely spread today, and 468 00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: that was the order in which we were trained in it. 469 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: So breathwork helped to calm and steal the body, visualization 470 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,720 Speaker 1: helped to focus the mind, and then mantra helped really 471 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,879 Speaker 1: heal the heart and soul. So it was this ascending process. 472 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 1: And so I found that starting with breathwork is a 473 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 1: great foundation because it sets you up physically, and then 474 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 1: moving to visualization and then to mantra as an ascending process. 475 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,879 Speaker 1: And so I know there's countless apps out there, I 476 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: recommend whichever one truly works for you. I don't have 477 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,560 Speaker 1: a prescribed app because I do think meditation is so personal, 478 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,800 Speaker 1: but I would definitely start with the breath and then 479 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: experiment with visualization in mantra as well. And the power 480 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:11,400 Speaker 1: of mantra is phenomenal because hearing the sound, even if whispered, 481 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,680 Speaker 1: we all know that sound transports us. We can hear 482 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,680 Speaker 1: a song that we grew up to and you're transported back. 483 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: You can hear a sound that you don't like, and 484 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: you're already feeling emotions that you don't like. And so 485 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,960 Speaker 1: the power of sacred sound or spiritual sound is to 486 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: transport you. And so mantra is my chosen form of 487 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:37,560 Speaker 1: meditation too, and it's in my opinion the most powerful 488 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:41,159 Speaker 1: for those deep experiences within. But I feel breathwork and 489 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,639 Speaker 1: visualization of the launch pad for that type of meditation. 490 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,119 Speaker 1: You said that you fell asleep during your meditation today, 491 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,399 Speaker 1: and it just reminded me that. So the theme of 492 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:54,400 Speaker 1: this has been dreams, you know, sort of following your dreams, 493 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 1: and I was wondering in your coaching practice, so when 494 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,159 Speaker 1: somebody comes to you, you know, I had a session 495 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: earlier where this beautiful young woman said she's having a 496 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,679 Speaker 1: difficult time because she's in a job that she doesn't 497 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,080 Speaker 1: love and doesn't feel like it's her calling, but she 498 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: feels scared to dare to dream about what that even 499 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: would be or kind of give herself the permission to 500 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,600 Speaker 1: do that. So in your coaching practice, how do you 501 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 1: what would you say to her, and what would you 502 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:31,159 Speaker 1: say in terms of finding that like? Is that manifestation? 503 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,360 Speaker 1: Is that like? How do you start to connect with 504 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 1: those ideas of who you could be in your next iteration? Yeah, 505 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 1: so I can relate to that. I just just over 506 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 1: five years ago, I was in a job just like 507 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: that because when I came back from being a monk, 508 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: I had to pay the bills, I had to pay 509 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 1: off my student loan. I couldn't rely on my parents, 510 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 1: who I moved in with when I first came back, 511 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: but they weren't financially capable, of course, to take care 512 00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: of me for the rest of my life. And I 513 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,600 Speaker 1: already moved back in I was twenty six years old 514 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,360 Speaker 1: after living as a monk for three years, and so 515 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 1: for me, I was in that position just over five 516 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: years ago. So I know exactly what that feels like 517 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: and what I'd say to that is the first step 518 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: is learning to appreciate where you are, because if we 519 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: can't appreciate where we are, we will never appreciate where 520 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: we get to. And that is just the truth anyone 521 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:35,080 Speaker 1: and everyone. Someone could say, well, you know, I'm am 522 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: running a great business, but only when I exit will 523 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:42,040 Speaker 1: I really feel happy. Or someone may say, I'm, you know, 524 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 1: building this brand, but only when we work with this 525 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: partner will I feel satisfied. And I feel that we're 526 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 1: constantly in any scenario postponing our feeling of joy and 527 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 1: success and happiness. And so for me, when I was 528 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,120 Speaker 1: in this corporate job, my goal was how can I 529 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 1: appreciate where I am? And the only way to appreciate 530 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,440 Speaker 1: where you are is asking yourself, what can I learn 531 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: here that might be useful for later? And if I 532 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: look back and I honestly ask myself, so many of 533 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 1: the skills that I learned in that job over five 534 00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 1: years ago are huge parts of my business, my ventures, 535 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 1: my work today. That if I didn't have that experience, 536 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,840 Speaker 1: I'd actually be really bad at what I do today 537 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,240 Speaker 1: and I wouldn't have the skills that I do. So 538 00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,480 Speaker 1: I think there is an honoring of where we are 539 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: because something in your life has brought you there. And 540 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: I often say to people like you're exactly where you 541 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 1: need to be, and we're scared of accepting that because 542 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 1: we're like, well, I don't like being here, But that's 543 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: because we don't see it as part of our story. 544 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 1: So focus on what can I learn in this job. 545 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: Maybe it's networking, maybe it's sales. Maybe it's connecting with 546 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: different people from different backgrounds. Maybe my company is launching 547 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,000 Speaker 1: a program to learn about crypto. Right, I'm going to 548 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,160 Speaker 1: dive into that, whatever it may be. As you as 549 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 1: an individual, what are you drawn to try and take 550 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 1: a moment to learn and therefore appreciate where you are. 551 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 1: The second step I'd say when it comes to dreaming 552 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 1: is I really believe we dream through people. I think 553 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 1: we dream through people. And what I mean by that 554 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:20,440 Speaker 1: is that there's a beautiful statement by Marion Edelman who 555 00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:24,200 Speaker 1: said that you can't be what you can't see. And 556 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,760 Speaker 1: I love that so much because if you don't see 557 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,480 Speaker 1: something happen, if you don't experience it, you will never 558 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,600 Speaker 1: want to become it or follow it. So if I 559 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,120 Speaker 1: never met a monk, I would never have dreamed of 560 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,640 Speaker 1: becoming a monk. I would that would never even cross 561 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 1: my path. And what I find so fascinating. This is 562 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 1: why I love what you do and I honor it 563 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,840 Speaker 1: so much in all the amazing programming you've created, what 564 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: you've done with Goop, and the incredible work that you've 565 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,360 Speaker 1: done with the shows that you've created, because you're introducing 566 00:31:55,560 --> 00:32:02,840 Speaker 1: us to people and ideas that taboo untalked about. And 567 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 1: the point of that is, it's incredible. We live in 568 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: a world where you can access anything at any time, 569 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,720 Speaker 1: yet we all follow the same people, watch the same people, 570 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: and pretty much talk about the same people and shows 571 00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: and things. It's incredible, right. It blows my mind that 572 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 1: in a world where we could literally access a random 573 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 1: tribe in the middle of another country if we really 574 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: wanted to through the powers, we're all watching squid games, right, 575 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: and no offense to scrid games. There's nothing wrong with it. 576 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 1: The point I'm making is that we all get very 577 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,560 Speaker 1: we all get just enamored by the same things. And 578 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: when I look at the most amazing experience if I've 579 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: had in my life, it's when I've become enamored by 580 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 1: something that's different and unique and has been more random. 581 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:54,560 Speaker 1: And so I feel that there's a need to explore 582 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: and expose ourselves to people and experiences that you don't 583 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,920 Speaker 1: just come across every there, and of course that's what 584 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: your work's doing. It's why I have my podcast, because 585 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 1: I can sit down with people and even if there 586 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: are people that you know, I'm hoping that we can 587 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,120 Speaker 1: go deeper with them or go to a place that 588 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: you haven't seen. And if it's people you don't know, 589 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,960 Speaker 1: when that's fresh anyway, And so I feel like exposing 590 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,720 Speaker 1: ourselves to more people allows us to dream through people. 591 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 1: You see someone and you think, oh, I love what 592 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 1: they're doing, I love what they're about, I love what 593 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,480 Speaker 1: they're channeling, I love what their vision is, and then 594 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: your mind opens up to what's possible. And then the 595 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,320 Speaker 1: third part of it, truly is that I've seen the 596 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:40,959 Speaker 1: most powerful dreams be linked to service and impact. And 597 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,480 Speaker 1: so I find that a dream is incomplete without service 598 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:48,480 Speaker 1: and impact. The biggest and the best dreamers in the world, 599 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 1: the people that shift the trajectory of the world. We're 600 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,440 Speaker 1: not doing it just for themselves. They were doing it 601 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: for others. And so when your dream expands into having 602 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 1: a service element, then you get the opportunity to work 603 00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: harder than you've ever dreamed of. You're able to learn 604 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 1: things that you never believed you could because we're so 605 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:13,640 Speaker 1: phenomenal at extending ourselves beyond what we know for people 606 00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 1: that we love and people we want to serve. So 607 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 1: I'd say that that step process, to me, it's very 608 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:24,279 Speaker 1: different from manifestation. I think manifestation we often think of 609 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 1: it as well, let me see where I want to be, 610 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: and I think of manifestation as visualize what it's going 611 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,839 Speaker 1: to take to get there. So, if someone wants to 612 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: be something, don't visualize what it looks like to be 613 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 1: on that stage, or be on the front cover of 614 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: that magazine or whatever it may be. Visualize the hidden journey, 615 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,759 Speaker 1: which is the behind the scenes of waking up at 616 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,800 Speaker 1: four am, of doing the work, of learning the skill, 617 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:57,400 Speaker 1: of practicing the art. Use your manifestation to visualize yourself 618 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,960 Speaker 1: breaking your physical and mental limit. It's not in visualizing 619 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:06,200 Speaker 1: the destination. And then, as if that's kind of at 620 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:12,800 Speaker 1: the base, how do you or when do you decide? No, 621 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,359 Speaker 1: now it's time for me to jump, it's time for 622 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:20,280 Speaker 1: me to take the risk, it's time for me to 623 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:25,880 Speaker 1: leave this relationship. But how do you know when you're there? Yeah, 624 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: I often think that with careers at least, we'll talk 625 00:35:30,719 --> 00:35:33,719 Speaker 1: about relationships, but with careers at least, there is a 626 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: need to build two lanes at the same time. And 627 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,000 Speaker 1: so I rarely recommend to anyone in my practice for 628 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,479 Speaker 1: my life to make a leap or a jump, because 629 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 1: I feel that not only is the risk high, the 630 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,520 Speaker 1: failure rate is high, and the fall is really painful 631 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,839 Speaker 1: and to recover from that can take a lot of 632 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: energy and effort. And so the pain and stress of 633 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,800 Speaker 1: managing a day job and doing something in the evenings 634 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,840 Speaker 1: at the same time sounds stressful, but it's a healthier 635 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: route to make that transition. And the day you make 636 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 1: the switch, at least in careers to start off with, 637 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: is the day that you feel you've created enough momentum 638 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:14,600 Speaker 1: in this new space where it can now push you 639 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: and carry you forward. If you make that switch too early, 640 00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:22,399 Speaker 1: you can actually do a disservice to yourself, where now 641 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,759 Speaker 1: you feel like you're still playing catch up. And so 642 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,960 Speaker 1: I often ask me, will build something that's at least 643 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 1: half of where you're at right now financially, so that 644 00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:33,440 Speaker 1: you can make that leapover And I've had plenty of 645 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 1: clients who've done that who. I've been working with a 646 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:39,440 Speaker 1: client for the last five years, and within two and 647 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:41,520 Speaker 1: a half years was when he decided to quit his 648 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:44,000 Speaker 1: job in law to move over to the work he's 649 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: in now. And he's already within two and a half 650 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,080 Speaker 1: years he'd made fifty percent of what he made as 651 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,080 Speaker 1: a lawyer, and then the next two and a half years, 652 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,239 Speaker 1: this year he has the opportunity to replace that completely. 653 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,960 Speaker 1: So I always feel that the financial part is the 654 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 1: hardest part, and so I feel like if you've replace 655 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 1: fifty percent, that's a healthy time. With relationships, the time 656 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,400 Speaker 1: to leave is really when you feel you're no longer growing. 657 00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:11,640 Speaker 1: You know, when you feel that you're not growing, when 658 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 1: you feel like you're not becoming the best version of yourself, 659 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:19,600 Speaker 1: when you feel like you're not moving in the direction 660 00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,759 Speaker 1: you want to be moving in, not because the other 661 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: person's helping you move or not, you just feel that 662 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,840 Speaker 1: you're carrying so much negative or toxic energy that you 663 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: feel stuck. That's when you need to shift and make 664 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,839 Speaker 1: a move. And so that's a much more emotional transition. 665 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:39,160 Speaker 1: It's a much more difficult and painful transition, and so 666 00:37:39,200 --> 00:37:41,920 Speaker 1: it should not be again done in a rush. I 667 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:46,359 Speaker 1: don't believe in fast, big jump decisions. I don't think 668 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,799 Speaker 1: that that's what works best. Usually as humans, we do 669 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,560 Speaker 1: better with incremental, small changes than we do with these big, 670 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:56,520 Speaker 1: huge decisions. And anyone who you notice has made a 671 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 1: big decisions in their life, I promise you they sat 672 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:01,200 Speaker 1: there and thought about it for three hundred and sixty 673 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 1: five days. Right, you make a decision in a day, 674 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 1: that's what it looks like, but really that decision was 675 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,680 Speaker 1: made over three hundred and sixty five days. And so 676 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:17,000 Speaker 1: allow yourself that grace in space to slowly develop your 677 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,719 Speaker 1: reasoning for that big decision over time, and then make 678 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 1: that decision. Don't feel rushed or forced to make it faster. 679 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 1: To develop the relationship with yourself as you're I mean, 680 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 1: that's the heart of it. I promise you the relationship 681 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,400 Speaker 1: you have with yourself will always be the best relationship 682 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,040 Speaker 1: you could ever have in the world. Like I really 683 00:38:38,080 --> 00:38:45,240 Speaker 1: mean that. It is such a joy to be present 684 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,319 Speaker 1: with yourself and to fall more in love with yourself. 685 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,560 Speaker 1: And the truth is that no one will ever love 686 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 1: you the way you want to be loved apart from yourself, 687 00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:59,719 Speaker 1: because no one else can know you that intimately. And 688 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 1: even if you try and articulate to someone who you 689 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: are and what you like and what you love and 690 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,359 Speaker 1: what you need, they're coming with so much of their 691 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:12,560 Speaker 1: own background and baggage and their own challenges and pain 692 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: and likes and dislikes that it's really hard to translate that. 693 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 1: So I'm not saying it's not possible to have meaningful relationships, 694 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,279 Speaker 1: it's just harder to expect that from anyone else. And 695 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,319 Speaker 1: actually that gives you more grace for them too. It 696 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: helps you receive more of them, and you see it 697 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 1: as an addition and extension to the love you have 698 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:35,880 Speaker 1: for yourself. So so glad you edited, Jay, Thank you 699 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,920 Speaker 1: so much. It's always such a pleasure.