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Speaker 1: Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell. How are you.

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Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good boy. It's been one hell of

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Speaker 1: a week.

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Speaker 2: Huh.

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Speaker 1: You know the thing about podcasts is they're not live,

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Speaker 1: so we record them as close to the drop date

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Speaker 1: as we can. But things happen in the world, and

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Speaker 1: you know, today I think what I'm still thinking of

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Speaker 1: and what has rocked my soul, and once again, you know,

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Speaker 1: open the Columbine wound that happened to all of us

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Speaker 1: with it being pretty much the first huge school shooting

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Speaker 1: that we all remember April twentieth, nineteen ninety nine, and

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Speaker 1: it brings me back to this latest school shooting in Nashville,

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Speaker 1: where three children and three adults were killed, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it overwhelms me. I don't understand how this keeps happening

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Speaker 1: in our country and how senators and congress people feel

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Speaker 1: like it's okay to say on the news the day

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Speaker 1: after this horror that nothing can be done. How is

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Speaker 1: that possible? Nothing can be done? I'm sick of hearing it,

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Speaker 1: and I think a vast majority of Americans are too.

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Speaker 1: We need to ban assault weapons, and I wrote that

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Speaker 1: on my TikTok and people wrote in oh my second Amendment, right, well,

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Speaker 1: let's amend the amendment. Then I think that automatic weapons,

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Speaker 1: assault rifles weapons of war. Sorry, civilians cannot have them.

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Speaker 1: And that's the point where we're at, you know. I

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Speaker 1: remember talking to Rory Kennedy last week and her telling

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Speaker 1: me that the top scientists in the world say we

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Speaker 1: could have six maybe ten years before it's not fixable

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Speaker 1: what we've done to the climate. And we're in an

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Speaker 1: emergency and not fixable, right, what's going to happen? I mean,

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Speaker 1: you can't just pretend you don't see these things. Wilful

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Speaker 1: blindness is going to end up ruining the earth, you know.

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Speaker 1: And we have wilful blindness in this country about assault weapons.

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Speaker 1: And when we had an assault weapon ban, there were

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Speaker 1: much less school shootings. You know, the statistics, everybody can

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Speaker 1: look them up. We've known them for too long.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: You got to stand up and force our representatives to

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Speaker 1: speak for the people. You can't love guns more than

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Speaker 1: you love kids. Really sad, really hard, and it's really

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Speaker 1: hard to keep fighting the same fight. I remember when

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Speaker 1: I spoke out after Columbine to Tom Sellek, who then

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Speaker 1: was a representative of the NRA. You know, it was

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Speaker 1: a big controversy. How could you say that? How could

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Speaker 1: we not have said it? Look, what's happened since a

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Speaker 1: thousand school shootings, since Columbine in America. It's crazy, it's crazy,

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Speaker 1: and we can't live this way, and we have to

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Speaker 1: stand up and say it. You know, I've been trying

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Speaker 1: not to listen to the news because what's going on

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Speaker 1: in Israel and the streets and them fighting against net

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Speaker 1: and Yahoo, and in France the fights and the protests

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Speaker 1: against Macron who wants to change the retirement age by

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Speaker 1: two years. And you know, I saw some photos, some

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Speaker 1: video of people eating in a French bistro and outside

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Speaker 1: trash cans, on fire, road blockades, people eating, Just you know,

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Speaker 1: what's happened to our world? Very very sad. Really is

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Speaker 1: well now that I brought the show to a complete

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Speaker 1: halt and nobody wants to listen. We have a great

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Speaker 1: guest today, we really do. And we talk a little

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Speaker 1: bit about mental health. We talk a little bit about Columbine,

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Speaker 1: which you know started me on my journey and medication

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Speaker 1: of medication of my mental health issues, and I am

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Speaker 1: so incredibly grateful. But the guest is Jennifer Lewis. Jennifer Lewis,

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Speaker 1: who is one of the most talented people I have

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Speaker 1: ever met in my life. I saw her in nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety four in her one woman show, The Diva Is Dismissed,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm in love with her. I'm

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Speaker 1: in love with her. I met her then, but before then,

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Speaker 1: before then, I knew who she was because I saw

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Speaker 1: Bet Miller in concerts so many times that I could

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Speaker 1: recognize her backup singers when they weren't with her, you know,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's a whole different gig. You know, I

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Speaker 1: was doing a game show and well, we tell the

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Speaker 1: story in it. But she's here today, and she has

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Speaker 1: written two books, The Mother of Black Hollywood and Walking

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Speaker 1: in My Joy in the Streets. You know, she's amazing

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Speaker 1: and I love her philosophy of life. I love her

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Speaker 1: perspective of the world. I love her ability to have

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Speaker 1: self insight, and I love the way she carries herself.

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Speaker 1: I really do. Years and years ago, maybe thirty years ago,

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Speaker 1: we all were in Laguna to see Bette Midler and

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Speaker 1: Jennifer was performing with Bet, I believe at that time,

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Speaker 1: and she was there with Mark Shaman and me and

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Speaker 1: a bunch of people. I saw them right after they

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Speaker 1: came back, and they were all singing the song that

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Speaker 1: Jennifer made up when she was in Laguna because she

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Speaker 1: got there and she was the only black person that

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Speaker 1: she saw in the whole entire town. So she made

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Speaker 1: up this song that goes something like this, Hey what folks,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry I could not get here soon. I'm the

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Speaker 1: only black girl in Lagoona And we would sing it

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Speaker 1: over and over and over. So this interview has no

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Speaker 1: beginning because we just jump in right. She sees me

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Speaker 1: on the FaceTime thing and I see her and we're going,

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Speaker 1: you know, we start talking the words to hey, white girl,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry I could not get here sooner, but we

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Speaker 1: never explain what it is. So there is a little

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Speaker 1: explanation about your little song. You're gonna hear us do

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Speaker 1: a little staccato version of Anyway, she's here and we're

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Speaker 1: talking about everything, and I just adore her, and I

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Speaker 1: know that you will too. So fair warning, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of cursing in this episode because when she and

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Speaker 1: I sit around, that's what we do. So you might

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Speaker 1: not want to listen at work or else. Put your

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Speaker 1: headphones on. I mean, it's not like so much cursing

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Speaker 1: that you're watching, you know, like a Tarantino film, but

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Speaker 1: there's enough curse saying that you could get in trouble

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Speaker 1: by someone saying, what the fuck are you listening to?

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. This is Onward with Rosie O'Donnell,

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Speaker 1: and this is episode three.

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Speaker 3: Oh honey, hi baby, how are you?

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Speaker 2: Oh girl? So much shit is going on?

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Speaker 1: What's going down?

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Speaker 2: What's going down? I'm gonna tell you all the good shit?

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: Hey wife, folks, I'm sorry, bitches.

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Speaker 1: I could not be here sooner. You're the only black

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Speaker 1: girl in Laguna.

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Speaker 2: Only motherfucker.

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Speaker 1: Oh my, how long ago was that, Jennifer Lewis? That

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Speaker 1: must have been a good thirty years ago.

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Speaker 2: It had to be thirty.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we've known each other a long time.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Roro.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember the first time we met? Where it

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Speaker 1: was Mark Davis? Nope, it was on the talk show

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Speaker 1: Third Degree? Do you remember that you and Charlowe were

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Speaker 1: trying to get us to guess on the Burt Convy

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Speaker 1: hosted Third Degree, a very short lived game show, And

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Speaker 1: I looked at you and went, oh my god, those

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Speaker 1: are the horless. And I said to the person next

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Speaker 1: to me, I think I have to disqualify myself. I

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Speaker 1: know exactly the.

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Speaker 2: Tye.

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Speaker 1: What's my line? Exactly?

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Speaker 2: What's my life? Who is that bitch? Two loud singing

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Speaker 2: wars on a game show trying to hide who they are?

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Speaker 1: Exactly?

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Speaker 2: Let's hall it. I actually just got some flowers from bed.

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Speaker 1: Oh how nice.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she sent me for the star on the Hollywood

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Speaker 2: Walk of Fans.

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Speaker 1: And how exciting was that? Jennifer Lewis.

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Speaker 2: It was a perfect day. Yeah, I mean it went

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Speaker 2: off without a hitch, and I was so happy. I

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Speaker 2: wore the yellow because I looked like a bird of paradise.

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Speaker 1: You look beautiful.

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Speaker 2: I just yeah, And I was telling the kids to

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Speaker 2: vote that shit went vorrow. I was very happy about that.

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Speaker 2: Debbie Allen and Mark Shaman showed up. It was It

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Speaker 2: was the perfect day. And I knew you and Kathy

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Speaker 2: were working that day, so I didn't want to bother

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Speaker 2: the y'all. Maybe y'all were working.

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Speaker 1: Well, we would always show up for you. Are you kidding?

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Speaker 1: We are in our sixties now, dol. How does that feel?

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Speaker 2: I just turned sixty six? You know what?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It feels fucking good.

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Speaker 1: I think so too.

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Speaker 3: What happens is the.

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Speaker 2: Magic of wisdom reveals itself.

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Speaker 1: I agree.

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Speaker 3: I mean so so little stresses me out.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, taxi, bitch, get the fuck out of here

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Speaker 3: with that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean really you saw come on, drop all

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Speaker 1: the shit that didn't work when you ate your sixties,

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Speaker 1: and then you're like onward into whatever comes next. Because

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Speaker 1: we're in that final third. Honey.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, we're in.

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Speaker 1: That last thirty years. If we're lucky, you know.

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Speaker 2: And you know you know what I tell people, So

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Speaker 2: I said, listen very carefully. I got about thirty summers.

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Speaker 2: You don't get one. They're mine.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I love that. I love that I know more of

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Speaker 2: who I am and I like that girl, right, It's

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Speaker 2: one thing to walk around to me.

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Speaker 3: I love myself. No, fuck you, bitch, Do you like yourself?

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Speaker 2: I like me?

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I just got back from Africa and I was standing

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Speaker 2: at the tip of the Motherland with those waves pounding

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Speaker 2: on those ancient stones out there, and I stood there

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Speaker 2: and I said it out loud, I said, I like me,

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Speaker 2: go get them Jenny. Yes, it's that Jenny, not that Jennifer.

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Speaker 2: Motherfucking Lewis. I'm talking about that Jenny.

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Speaker 1: That little girl in Saint Louis.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely of the Saint Louis Lewis's only you can say

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Speaker 2: that's right.

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Speaker 1: And I never forgot it when you open your shirt

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Speaker 1: with that Oh my god, in love with this woman.

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Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? Right?

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Speaker 2: You did?

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Speaker 3: You loved me, You loved me from the start.

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Speaker 1: Well, honey, you're so spectacular. It's hard to keep your

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Speaker 1: eyes off you. You steal every show you're in, every movie,

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Speaker 1: every part you like. I'm like, fucking, there's Jennifer Lewis again.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: And you kept going and going and going and going,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so proud of all your accomplishments. And black

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Speaker 1: at you, I mean really, honey.

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Speaker 2: Black at you, baby, black at you. I've seen you

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Speaker 2: in your dramatic acting work. You're so good. I just

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Speaker 2: sit here and go, there's my baby. Ah, girl, there's

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Speaker 2: my baby doing it all. Funny girl, dramatic girl, good

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Speaker 2: human being, honest. It's that honesty that excites me more

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Speaker 2: than anything.

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Speaker 1: Same with me.

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Speaker 2: I tell people, Yeah, I tell people, bitch, there's no

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Speaker 2: shortcut to greatness. No, you gotta overturn every stone you

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Speaker 2: don't get to skip around the truth. That's why they

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Speaker 2: say the truth, the old truth, nothing but the truth. Yes, indeed,

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Speaker 2: so I admire that in you. I really do. Just

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Speaker 2: just they call it down to earth, but it's it's

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Speaker 2: more powerful than that. It's being in the.

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Speaker 1: Moment, the moment present.

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Speaker 2: So true. Yeah, so important.

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Speaker 1: And you know the things that I couldn't stop from

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Speaker 1: little Row when I was a kid, to big Row

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Speaker 1: now is the need to always tell what was happening

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Speaker 1: in my life. And you know, I think it comes

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Speaker 1: from a childhood of abuse. It comes from having to

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Speaker 1: be hyper sensitive to what people's moods are, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then trying to figure out my own in the

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Speaker 1: midst of that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, where's that shoe coming from?

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Speaker 2: Yes, where's that shoe from?

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Speaker 1: Mama?

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Speaker 2: Coming from? Shoe? You don't even know what it's you now,

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Speaker 2: and I gotta tell you Roe all Oh god, I'm

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Speaker 2: so excited to even say this. I feel so free

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Speaker 2: in my life, not bound by waiting for somebody to

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Speaker 2: let me know if I got the gig. You see.

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Speaker 2: Sure it's been a while since that kind of shit,

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Speaker 2: since our audition for anything, but back in the day,

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Speaker 2: coming up with that do they want me? Am I

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Speaker 2: good enough? I actually had a step up on them.

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Speaker 2: Though I knew I had a gift, they couldn't really

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Speaker 2: fuck with me. I would walk into an audition room

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Speaker 2: and see all of them sitting on the toilet, right,

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Speaker 2: you see, So I wasn't fucking intimidated. But the point

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Speaker 2: I want to make about that honesty is I have

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Speaker 2: no secrets. I gave them all up in the two

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Speaker 2: books I've written, which are beautiful. Yeah, here it is, bitches.

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Speaker 2: Here's the molestation, here's the sex addiction, Here's the bipolar disorder.

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Speaker 2: Here it all is laid down on the paper. Take

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Speaker 2: it and run with it. Because once you read all

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Speaker 2: that shit, all you got to do is come back

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Speaker 2: to me. And all I can tell you is look

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Speaker 2: at me now, right right, no stone overturned. You know,

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Speaker 2: I swim downstream. I don't have to go upstream anymore, right,

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Speaker 2: And you know.

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Speaker 1: It is so freeing. That's exactly the word that I

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Speaker 1: would use. Like something changed at fifty. It didn't bother me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think anything of it, but something about sixty,

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Speaker 1: Like in my mind, the people who are sixty are

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Speaker 1: like Vivian Vance, you know, yeah, say to Thompson from family,

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Speaker 1: like those people are all sixty and now I'm one

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Speaker 1: of them.

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Speaker 2: You know, right, And and I remember my great aunts

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Speaker 2: when they were in their sixties, how they had so

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Speaker 2: many health issues. Right, And you know you can live

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Speaker 2: long now if you take care of yourself. We know

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Speaker 2: how now, how to eat. We know we have to

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Speaker 2: get up and move our bodies. We know we have

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Speaker 2: to be honest. Going back to that, keep the stress off.

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Speaker 2: It's stress that causes all these diseases. You know, when

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Speaker 2: you are in fact dis ease. Now, how do you

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Speaker 2: fuck with that? You keep people away from you that

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Speaker 2: are trying to quatch your joy? Yes, I mean that

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Speaker 2: is that is a real thing because you know me,

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Speaker 2: when I get up, I get up skipping. Yes, I'll

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Speaker 2: wake the fuck up and skip by the big Come on, bitch,

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Speaker 2: just bring a day.

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Speaker 1: Yes, fucking sun is up and you know, and then

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Speaker 1: you drop down to a full split with no problem.

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Speaker 1: I've seen you do it, girl, I've seen you do

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Speaker 1: it girl.

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Speaker 3: You know I've always been athletic.

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Speaker 2: You know, I played racquetball, softball, did pilates for damn

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Speaker 2: near thirty years. Yoga Yoga was real important to to

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Speaker 2: center myself, you know, especially with the bipolar disorder, right,

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Speaker 2: the mania and the depression. And I tell people, you know,

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Speaker 2: once she the first thirty five years of my life,

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Speaker 2: I was depressed. I didn't really know it. Shit, I

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Speaker 2: just thought everybody cried at night. Shit, right, you know,

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Speaker 2: living in the world, that's you know that you just

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Speaker 2: break the fuck down. What was that movie with Holly

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Speaker 2: Hunter or she would just break the fuck down? An

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Speaker 2: old movie.

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Speaker 1: Broadcast about But yes, yes, I.

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Speaker 2: Remember when I first saw that, I was like, oh

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Speaker 2: that's how I am.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, breaked out a fucking aunt go across the street.

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Speaker 3: Oh look at that poor aunt.

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Speaker 2: Right, And you know, it's just it was lightly right.

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Speaker 2: So when I was diagnosed, I really wanted to I

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Speaker 2: was like, God, damn, that does describe me.

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Speaker 1: Hey, don't go away, We'll be right back with more.

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Speaker 1: Jennifer Lewis, it was nineteen ninety when you got diagnosed

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Speaker 1: and had your life become unmanageable, that you finally went

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Speaker 1: to get a diagnosis, or had you always been in therapy.

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Speaker 2: No, it was the height of the AIDS epidemic. I

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Speaker 2: felt I fell apart, girl, I mean, I found myself

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Speaker 2: on the floor screaming, and just so happens. A girlfriend

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Speaker 2: that I really respected, she said to me, Jennifer, you

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Speaker 2: got to get some help.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, bitch, I'm Jennifer Little. There's only no fucking help.

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Speaker 2: But when all of my friends started dying like that,

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Speaker 2: I knew something was wrong. I would go to auditions

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Speaker 2: and literally fall apart. I remember auditioning for thirty something

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Speaker 2: and Peter Wharton looking at me and said, what's wrong.

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Speaker 2: You can do this. I've seen your work just fell apart.

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Speaker 2: And it was when that started happening, I was like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: time to do something, and I got in therapy. The

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Speaker 2: first two years, she was just a captive audience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I know exactly that feeling.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. She she would ask me, Jennifer, why do you performing? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, no, bitch, this is what's going on.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So, when you thought to get to those real feelings

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Speaker 2: that are really deep in your soul from the childhood

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Speaker 2: abuse and the acting out so many years and running, running, running, right,

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Speaker 2: you just find out you're going to meet yourself when

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Speaker 2: you get there.

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Speaker 1: So, now, when they told you the diagnosis, because when

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Speaker 1: I got diagnosed with severe depression, it was right after

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Speaker 1: Columbine and I had this two little babies, and I

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Speaker 1: was waking up every night thinking somebody was in my

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Speaker 1: house with a gun, that kids were going to be

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Speaker 1: killed in schools. I couldn't I couldn't fathom how this

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Speaker 1: was happening in my world, and it caused me such duress.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat, I couldn't stop crying.

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Speaker 1: I could hardly do my show without like squeezing all

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Speaker 1: my muscles to try to stop myself from having feelings.

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Speaker 1: And so this doctor said to me, you're going to

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Speaker 1: go on these medicines. You're severe panic, you have severe PhD,

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Speaker 1: you have severe you know, a depression like I've never seen,

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Speaker 1: and you need to be medicated. And I said okay,

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Speaker 1: because I was in a mess. And I said how

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Speaker 1: long am I going to have to take these? And

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Speaker 1: she said the rest of your life? And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: I get it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you know I've been medicated for now about thirty

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Speaker 2: five years.

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Speaker 1: I would say, yeah for me since ninety nine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I get up every morning, I take three pills

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Speaker 2: and I go in about my business. You know, ain't

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Speaker 2: no shame in my game. Bring it come on, y'all,

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Speaker 2: let's get it together. This shit is real. Yes, I

353
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Speaker 2: mean you can't believe it at first. You're like, oh, honey,

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Speaker 2: I can't get on that shit. That shit's going to

355
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Speaker 2: take my edge, right. Well, no, it didn't take my edge.

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Speaker 2: It put me in a place where a level. I

357
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 2: wasn't high high, and I wasn't low low, right. I

358
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:48,040
Speaker 2: was in a level place where I could enjoy my life,

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Speaker 2: enjoy my success.

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Speaker 3: So I still I take care of myself.

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Speaker 2: I managed, and all I can say is that, you know,

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Speaker 2: look at me now, bitches exactly.

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Speaker 3: I still got a big old smile on my face.

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Speaker 1: No you do anything from you. Jennifer Lewis, I was

365
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Speaker 1: very moved during the height of Kanye's severe mental issue

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Speaker 1: trauma that he's going through that you really reached out

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Speaker 1: in a beautiful way. I saw you on a bunch

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Speaker 1: of interviews and you know, you're like, call me, call

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Speaker 1: me kid, And I kind of felt the same way.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was like, yeah, I wish I could

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Speaker 1: reach him, you know all of it. It seemed to

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Speaker 1: me that I know he had a traumatic brain injury

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Speaker 1: when he got in that car accident before he was

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Speaker 1: known and who was living with his mom, and then

375
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Speaker 1: I think when he lost his mom, something just shattered

376
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Speaker 1: inside of him.

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Speaker 2: You know, you know, mental illness is one thing, but

378
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Speaker 2: I'm not, certainly not saying Kanye is evil by any means.

379
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Speaker 2: I just know a lot of people that are borderline

380
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Speaker 2: personality disorder.

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Speaker 1: Mecho.

382
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Speaker 2: There's a meanness that comes with it, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you know what, that's unacceptable. I'm bipolar and I can

384
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Speaker 2: be mean. Okay, maybe three times a year, okay, maybe four,

385
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 2: but come on, cruel. I mean waking up and saying,

386
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Speaker 2: you know, I'm going deaf Khan five on the Jews, No, hey, hey, hey,

387
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:13,639
Speaker 2: come here, come here? Hey yeah hey, yes, you know,

388
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,480
Speaker 2: we got people down south with torches going. The Jews

389
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 2: will not replace me. We don't need that bullshit. What

390
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,400
Speaker 2: you want to start with all those followers a silvil war?

391
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Speaker 1: Right?

392
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:23,679
Speaker 3: The fuck is.

393
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: Wrong with you? Shut the fuck up? And I meant

394
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: that because I was mad. But the the undercurrent of

395
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:41,840
Speaker 2: that is the undercurrent of that is Kanye, come here, yes,

396
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: come here, pup it, come here. And you know my

397
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 2: name is Jennifer Lewis, and I understand what you're going.

398
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,000
Speaker 1: Through totally you're not alone.

399
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Speaker 2: But you cannot if they're not ready, There's nothing you

400
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 2: can do. There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you

401
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,879
Speaker 2: can do. Yeah, poor Babby, he's gonna I just hope

402
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:07,199
Speaker 2: that he that he can find his way. I really do,

403
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 2: because he means a lot to a lot of people. Yes,

404
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 2: he has a huge following. These kids listen to him.

405
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,640
Speaker 2: They're very protective of him. I've certainly found that out.

406
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: When I tell him to shut the fuck, they're like Auntie,

407
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: back off Kanye. My response to them with no, go

408
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,479
Speaker 2: fuck yourself right. That baby's got some issues, and how

409
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 2: about you go take care of yours right, And don't

410
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,840
Speaker 2: roll up on me, bitch, because I.

411
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: Know who I am exactly. Hey, y'all can't drag me.

412
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,879
Speaker 2: No, I've been fighting out here for you for a

413
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 2: ten thousand years. Whether it was breast cancer, whether it

414
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,880
Speaker 2: was AIDS, whether it was the community. I don't care

415
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 2: what it is, civil rights. I know who I am.

416
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: Don't come for me, right, Don't come.

417
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,679
Speaker 1: For me, especially because you know you tend to mother everyone,

418
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,280
Speaker 1: the mother of black Hollywood that you are, absolutely and

419
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,400
Speaker 1: you know he's an orphan. Absolutely, This little boys sort

420
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: of lost in the world alone, is how I look

421
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: at him. Everyone goes, why do you look at him

422
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,480
Speaker 1: as a little boy. I'm like, I don't know, but

423
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 1: I see the child that he was, and I just.

424
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:11,000
Speaker 2: That's arrested development. If that's not arrested development as its height,

425
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 2: what is I mean?

426
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Speaker 3: He is a baby.

427
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 2: He's a baby to us, Yes, and we are here

428
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,239
Speaker 2: to say, hey, I've been through it. I know what

429
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:21,960
Speaker 2: you're going through.

430
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,200
Speaker 1: Not come here, let me show you your way out.

431
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:24,800
Speaker 1: Let me show you.

432
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 3: Come here.

433
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 2: You said right here, and let me tell you a

434
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,959
Speaker 2: thing or two, or for that matters, show you a

435
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 2: thing or two.

436
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 1: Right here.

437
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 2: It is in black and white. Here's that scared little girl,

438
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 2: right Here's that baby. Here's that baby that was molested

439
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 2: by the past of her church. Here's another baby that

440
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,199
Speaker 2: was abused and beaten and still have the scars to

441
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 2: prove it. Yeah. So I'm not here to minimize your pain,

442
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 2: but I'm not going to let you tell me that

443
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 2: your pain is more important than everybody else. Grow the

444
00:23:58,960 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 2: fuck up.

445
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: But you know, as you know, and I know, borderline

446
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: personality disorder is like really not treatable. Oh I am

447
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,360
Speaker 1: not row.

448
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 2: I can't call the name, but somebody we both love

449
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 2: got that borderline, and it I have to make a

450
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 2: profound decision to let go. Yeah, there's nothing you can

451
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,719
Speaker 2: do that. You can't even have a logical conversation because

452
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: the disease itself, it ain't nothing wrong with me. Now,

453
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 2: how you're gonna penetrate that? Ever, if there's nothing wrong

454
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 2: and we can't come to the table and at least discuss.

455
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 3: And I tried to get that person in rehab.

456
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: I did everything, and when it's borderline, there's just nothing

457
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 2: you can do but let that person go and live.

458
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's absolutely heartbreaking, you know, especially when it's

459
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: somebody close in your life, when it's somebody oh yeah right,

460
00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 1: or close to your your intimate circle of people. And

461
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 1: I have found that no matter what transpires in my

462
00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:01,879
Speaker 1: relationship with her, there's no say, account at her bank, no,

463
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: like anything that I've done in the world kind of

464
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,480
Speaker 1: to help or try to help or be there, there's

465
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:12,399
Speaker 1: no record of it in her psychic in her mind.

466
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 2: No.

467
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,679
Speaker 1: So every need none as your fault.

468
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,160
Speaker 3: You always it was your fault, right, I did nothing.

469
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: I did nothing, And you're like, but it's always a

470
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 2: two way street when there's any kind of confrontation or

471
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 2: there's any kind of interaction, it's two way. Yeah anyway.

472
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 2: I'm not going to sit here and try to explain logic.

473
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:40,360
Speaker 2: But what we have to do. If you love that person,

474
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: if you truly do love them, right, you gotta let

475
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 2: them go because they'll kill you. They will get killed.

476
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 1: So true. I just did that, you know, about a

477
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 1: month ago, and I got to tell you, it's the

478
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 1: hardest thing I've ever done. And every day indeed tempted

479
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: to reach out again, and I go, well, well, well

480
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 1: stop right, don't participate.

481
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,919
Speaker 2: I look at my friend's picture and I want to

482
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 2: reach out also, And then I look in the mirror

483
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 2: right after that and I say, you want to die?

484
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, save yourself, man.

485
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,360
Speaker 2: Because she's going to kill you. Yes, So you want

486
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: to invite that back into your life. Then you add,

487
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,880
Speaker 2: on top of everything that you have to struggle with,

488
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,159
Speaker 2: all of your challenges and all the challenges I already have.

489
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 2: Can you carry that?

490
00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 1: Yeah?

491
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 2: Hey, how heavy is that luggage? Missus Lewis?

492
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 1: Yeah?

493
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, add sixty six right hey, And once again,

494
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 2: if you have developed oh girl, this is so deep.

495
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: If you really do have that magical wisdom if you've

496
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 2: actually looked in the mirror and say, oh my god,

497
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 2: I've grown up and I care not only about the

498
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 2: people I love, I care about the world. Yes, if

499
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,840
Speaker 2: you can reach a point to that where in you

500
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,479
Speaker 2: can you invite somebody back to destroy everything you've worked for,

501
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:14,920
Speaker 2: because they will destroy it because your heart is so vulnerable, right,

502
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 2: they will find that place and go stab here' stab

503
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,400
Speaker 2: a root. Yeah you go take this knife, Take this knife,

504
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: you take this knife. Let me get a bigger one.

505
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, here, I'm back for some more.

506
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 3: Here I am yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

507
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:28,199
Speaker 2: Come on.

508
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: It's too hard, man, it's too hard. Did your mania

509
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: have epichies? Like I've read about people who, you know,

510
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: they wake up and they're in another country and they

511
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,280
Speaker 1: or they've spent all their money or you know, did

512
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 1: you have No.

513
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: I never got that bad. Yeah, I never got that bad.

514
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 2: I was always conscious of the mania, unable to stop it.

515
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,399
Speaker 2: But I will say this, I don't think I've ever

516
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 2: said this before. I was basically a good girl. I

517
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,399
Speaker 2: was a good girl, and I wasn't out there to

518
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 2: hurt anybody. I didn't want to hurt anybody. I always thought,

519
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 2: you know, My karma was instant. If I actually raged

520
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 2: at someone, I'd walk right outside and trip and fall

521
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 2: and bust my lip. If I kicked a piece of furniture,

522
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: I would, you know, turn my ankle. So I learned

523
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 2: pretty early that you only hurt yourself when you do that.

524
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I could control it every time, but

525
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,160
Speaker 2: I will say this.

526
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 3: This is real talk. There wasn't a time in my

527
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 3: life that I raged at someone and didn't say I

528
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: was sorry, and I meant it. I meant it. I

529
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 3: meant it. And I told my friend that same for it.

530
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 2: One time I had raged and I apologized and she said, no,

531
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 2: I don't accept it. And I said, very clearly, well,

532
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 2: I'm going upstairs and I'm going to go to sleep,

533
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 2: and I am going to sleep well with peace of mind,

534
00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 2: because I know when I say I'm sorry, I mean

535
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 2: it right. So you go do what you gotta do.

536
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 2: But I'm going to sleep and I'm going to sleep

537
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 2: peacefully because I know who I am right, and I

538
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: know that something deep inside of me did not mean

539
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 2: to go that far right. And I knew I was

540
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 2: my polar it. I knew, yeah, yeah, but you know,

541
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 2: look when you got personalities like you and me. That

542
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 2: personality is going to break through that medication. Sometimes. Yes,

543
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, we.

544
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 3: Are right alpha women, Yep, that's right.

545
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch, I'll say to somebody in a minute, Hey,

546
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 2: it ain't if I was on a drip, bitch, it

547
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,800
Speaker 2: ain't that much medication in the world that's gonna stop

548
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: this personality from coming through.

549
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 1: Sometimes I totally hear you.

550
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,880
Speaker 3: So basically, I'm telling you you've been warned.

551
00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: Back the fuck up right, I'm alpha, And if you, you know,

552
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,720
Speaker 2: approach with cau shit or don't come in here right.

553
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:08,720
Speaker 2: Believe me. I'm not gonna come for you because I

554
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 2: ain't got time. But if you coming over here, because

555
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 2: I know, I got a lot of joy in my life.

556
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,520
Speaker 2: My book is called Walking in My Joy. I'm not

557
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 2: gonna leave a boutique a grocery store for that matter,

558
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 2: let alone a meeting or a party and not have

559
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,560
Speaker 2: everybody laughing before.

560
00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 3: I need the fucking role before.

561
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: The drinks are served.

562
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 2: Honey, you did it before the odd dirvs.

563
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 1: Come on you. You are the light of every party

564
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 1: and everything you're in.

565
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: Honey, you are Look I'm coming in, Yeah, don't invite me,

566
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: or don't hire me, bitch, because yeah, I'm gonna steal

567
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: the motherfucking sing. Don't even think somebody's looking at you

568
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 2: if I'm in a SA Now, why is that, miss Lewis?

569
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 3: Why is that? Because I was gifted?

570
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:53,479
Speaker 2: Bitch?

571
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 3: I came out singing Ethel Mormid, right.

572
00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: You understand? So I can't stop that. I tell people, well,

573
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 2: not even me can stop me. So you might want

574
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,480
Speaker 2: to back the fuck up. This is what's coming to

575
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 2: the table. And have I had to deal with that?

576
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: Have I had to deal with working with really a

577
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 2: list of people and they snuffed my shit out? Of

578
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 2: course I've had to deal with that. Have I had

579
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 2: to deal with people showing up and doing Jennifer Lewis absolutely,

580
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 2: even for that matter, stilling material from my One Woman shows.

581
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: Yes.

582
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: But my dean of students at my university, I went

583
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: in her offices and I was crying. I said, my

584
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,640
Speaker 2: girlfriend sharing every time I do something, she comes out

585
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 2: on stages, she does it.

586
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 3: And my dean of students said this to me.

587
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: This has carried me from being hurt in this business,

588
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 2: having been treated like a stepchild because people are intimidated

589
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: by my talent. I know that comes real well, she

590
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,080
Speaker 2: said to me in that office and really carried me

591
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 2: through life. She said, Jennifer, you uh, don't get too upset,

592
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 2: she said, don't get too upset about that, because I've

593
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 2: known you for three years now and I've seen your

594
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,880
Speaker 2: work and by the time somebody has caught onto something

595
00:32:18,280 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 2: you've done, you've gone on to something new.

596
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: Anyway, I was gonna say, you got ten more in

597
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:24,920
Speaker 1: your back pocket.

598
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:29,120
Speaker 2: Thank you. So I've been able to weather that storm,

599
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:34,080
Speaker 2: and oh a fucking storm it has been, you see,

600
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 2: because I have been treated like a step child in

601
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: this business. Oh I've risen to the top. I mean,

602
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:44,080
Speaker 2: I'll tell a bitch in a minute, yo, bitch, I'm

603
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: metched in fucking marble now at Hollywood, and by go

604
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 2: fuck yourself, right, I did it. I got the biggest

605
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 2: one totally, So go on now, you go on, because

606
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: I'm cool. And like I said on that day when

607
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,200
Speaker 2: I got the star in Hollywood Walk of Fame, everybody

608
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 2: out here knows, am well. I didn't need this to

609
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 2: tell me I was a star, nor to tell you

610
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 2: that I'm a star. But did I earn this, bitch? Yes,

611
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: everybody knows that too. Yes, let's celebrate. This is a

612
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: beautiful day. And I was very grateful, and believe it

613
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 2: or not, a little humility was thrown in there. I

614
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: don't know much about that but that word.

615
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 3: But you don't need to.

616
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: Hey, I found out something about you while I was

617
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: doing a little research, even though I didn't have to

618
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: read anything because I knew, but there was a fact

619
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: I did not know that you played Fie white Oh

620
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: in the read through of dream Girls for Michael Bennett.

621
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 3: Wasn't only to read through, it was the workshop itself.

622
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: Actually, at that point they had fired Jennifer Holiday and

623
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 2: they brought me in, the actress, to develop the role.

624
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 2: I did a six week workshop with Loretta and Cheryl

625
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 2: and all of the cast, Harney and over Baba Tunde.

626
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: We were all there. We were kids and I could sing, yes,

627
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 2: but nobody could sing like that girl. So they used

628
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:14,400
Speaker 2: me the actress to develop the role and then hired

629
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,160
Speaker 2: her back. And at that time, you know, I didn't

630
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: know the show was going to be the big hit

631
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 2: that it did, so I didn't care. I was getting

632
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: ready to go out on a national tour with You

633
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 2: be another Broadway show I had done, and what was

634
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 2: brilliant about Michael bidnett Is. He started that whole thing

635
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: about workshops before the show went into rehearsal for Broadway.

636
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 2: The contract was that if you were in one of

637
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: the workshops and contributed your talent to the development of

638
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 2: the show, if the show went to Broadway, you would

639
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:51,279
Speaker 2: get paid a percentage Wow throughout the run. So I

640
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 2: never stepped foot on this Broadway stage to play Ethie,

641
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 2: but I was pecky throughout the run.

642
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,040
Speaker 1: Wow, how about that?

643
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 2: So that was quite the And like I said, I

644
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:02,719
Speaker 2: didn't know it was going to be the hit that

645
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 2: it was. So when they said they were going to

646
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 2: hire Jennifer, I was like, Okay, hey, Rosie. Until I

647
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 2: came back to town and saw that fucking billboard of

648
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,279
Speaker 2: Sheryl and Loretta and all them standing there like this

649
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: with these mouths. I went all fuck. But you know, look,

650
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 2: I had my triumphs, I had my losses, and it's

651
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 2: just wonderful to grow up and realize that once you've

652
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:33,240
Speaker 2: owned something, you can't lose it. Now, once you've looked

653
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,400
Speaker 2: through a door, you can't pretend you didn't see what

654
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,760
Speaker 2: was on the other side. Right, So, like I said,

655
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 2: it's the magical wisdom that is the prize. Who knew

656
00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:49,120
Speaker 2: it was coming, Who knew it would be this comforting? Yes,

657
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: to wake up and not be afraid to face the day. Yeah,

658
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 2: to have done the work and be able to trust

659
00:35:57,680 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 2: yourself walking into any room beautiful, you know, because you

660
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 2: bring the glory and the Hallelujah with you. You know,

661
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 2: you bring it into the room because you trust who

662
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: you are, because you know you live on purpose, and

663
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 2: you wrote down this morning what the fuck you were

664
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: gonna do today.

665
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 3: I'm in charge of this, bitch.

666
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:24,479
Speaker 2: Yes, Like you know, I'm going through something right now,

667
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: and depression will kind of inch in, it will start

668
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:31,040
Speaker 2: to inch. I was like, oh man, I gotta deal

669
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 2: with Hey, get the fuck out, Jenny, right, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny,

670
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:39,360
Speaker 2: Oh no, you won't. But one thing, Rosie too. I

671
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 2: guess it's like anything else you practice. I actually am

672
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 2: finding that I am incapable of going into depression. Wow,

673
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: it doesn't register anymore. I'm like, oh, no, bitch, you

674
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: might want to go once you learn to balance your

675
00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:01,799
Speaker 2: life with the bad shit that's going on. You got

676
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 2: to come over here and you got to look at

677
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 2: some mountains. Bitch, yes, you gotta go and hug a

678
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 2: fucking tree if.

679
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 1: You got to get in nature.

680
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:11,160
Speaker 2: Man.

681
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's funny. I moved to the beach

682
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,920
Speaker 1: here in Malibu about six months ago, and yeah, I

683
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 1: always would I lived here, you know, wanted to be

684
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 1: near the beach, but I just never did it. And

685
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,280
Speaker 1: so Tran Dresser has a place here. And for thirty

686
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: years I've been going to a place going I would

687
00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: love to live like this. And I turned sixty and

688
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 1: I call my brother who does my money, and I go, Tim,

689
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,839
Speaker 1: I'm going to rent a house that's very expensive in

690
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: Malibu for one year. And I've been here and it's

691
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: changed so much in my life and world about my

692
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 1: own depression, my own joy of life, my own journey

693
00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,799
Speaker 1: that I you know now is the lease is coming

694
00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:51,840
Speaker 1: up and I'm looking at the prices, and you know,

695
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: I would give this money away in a minute without

696
00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:56,680
Speaker 1: thinking about it. But will I spend it on me

697
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 1: and my own happiness?

698
00:37:58,600 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 2: Hello?

699
00:37:59,120 --> 00:37:59,359
Speaker 1: Hello?

700
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 2: Yeah? I tell people, roh, human beings have one job

701
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:10,799
Speaker 2: and one job only self care. Yes, And when you

702
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 2: do that, your arms will be strong when the people

703
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:20,759
Speaker 2: you love for yes, and that includes communities, charities all

704
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 2: of it. One thing you have to understand when tragic

705
00:38:24,239 --> 00:38:27,840
Speaker 2: things happen in your life. The first piece is to balance,

706
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 2: who were you before the shit happened? Okay? Or you

707
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 2: taking responsibility at least some of the responsibility for it happening. Yes,

708
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 2: come on now, oh, I created this great job, but

709
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:41,879
Speaker 2: did you create this?

710
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: Right?

711
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,799
Speaker 3: Take some responsibility?

712
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,040
Speaker 1: Right, you create everything?

713
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:50,400
Speaker 2: So come on, hey, right, hey, So you take responsibility

714
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,879
Speaker 2: and then you balance. And then I got to change

715
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 2: my password because I'm getting I'm getting ready to tell

716
00:38:56,239 --> 00:39:02,520
Speaker 2: everybody what my password is. Okay, password is. I got up, bitches.

717
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,319
Speaker 2: I got up bitches.

718
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: That's a good one, man, that is a good one.

719
00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:13,239
Speaker 1: Mine for years was be still. Oh, because my desire

720
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 1: to confront all the wrongs and stand up for the

721
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 1: underdog and help every poor kid and save all.

722
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 3: The abuse kids.

723
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 1: It's too much. And I just had to tell myself

724
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 1: be still. So every time I signed in, that was

725
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: what I was doing. Be still. Okay, let me center myself.

726
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 2: What I did too? So oft what I did too. Yes,

727
00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 2: we have these great careers and all we want to

728
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: do is give back, and that is certainly what I do.

729
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 2: But I'm going to be honest with you. I take

730
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 2: care of Jennifer Lewis first, I really do. I take

731
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: care of myself first. The kids got this thing on

732
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:54,800
Speaker 2: the internet where I say, I get up every morning,

733
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 2: I brush my teeth, I spin it out. I leaned

734
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,879
Speaker 2: forward and look in the mirror. I pause, and I say,

735
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 2: pretty bitch, and then I go on my way.

736
00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:10,359
Speaker 1: Then I go, I love you so much. Can I

737
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,839
Speaker 1: tell you how wonderful the show is. I love this

738
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 1: for you. Oh my god, honey, what a little gem,

739
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 1: what a perfect little character study. You're wonderful in it.

740
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: All the women are amazing. One of my favorite shows.

741
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,239
Speaker 1: And I heard it just got picked up right.

742
00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:28,879
Speaker 3: Well, now, we don't know yet.

743
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,360
Speaker 2: You may know something I don't know.

744
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 1: I heard from an actress on the show that there

745
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:34,879
Speaker 1: is really yes, I did.

746
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 3: Well, I have not heard yet.

747
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 2: And you know I don't go skipping and jumping for

748
00:40:39,440 --> 00:40:43,120
Speaker 2: joy to that fucking contracted signed But am I enjoying?

749
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 2: First of all, let me just say that Vanessa Bayer

750
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 2: and Molly Shannon that mattered the whole cast. I am

751
00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,839
Speaker 2: in an environment now, and as I know, you know,

752
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 2: this is my best work. Yes, playing Patricia, I would

753
00:40:57,719 --> 00:40:59,840
Speaker 2: claim is my best work.

754
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: It's beautiful.

755
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,280
Speaker 2: But I am in an environment where I can create

756
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 2: like that.

757
00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: Yes, makes all the difference.

758
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,760
Speaker 3: Oh my god. Molly Shannon and Vanessa Bear.

759
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,600
Speaker 1: Too good too. Oh my god.

760
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 2: I have to say I have to say to Vanessa

761
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:20,200
Speaker 2: Bear every episode I have to look at it, go

762
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:21,799
Speaker 2: what Especially when I first got there, I.

763
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,160
Speaker 3: Go, what the fuck are you doing?

764
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

765
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, why did you just bite the air?

766
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 1: Right?

767
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 3: Who bites the air?

768
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 2: That was Vanessa? Yeah, Vanansa and Platricia, my character has

769
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:39,399
Speaker 2: this of course, stand there.

770
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 3: And be the bitch that she is.

771
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 2: Right, And I got Vanantha squeaking her pants.

772
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 3: I got her doing all these other things. Oh my god, hilarious.

773
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 2: I live for both.

774
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 4: You know.

775
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 1: I wasn't familiar with Vanessa's work. I really wasn't.

776
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 2: And I wasn't either.

777
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:54,720
Speaker 3: We grew up with Molly.

778
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 1: Yes, Molly, I knew everything and love everything, And I

779
00:41:58,480 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: was like, who's this other girl?

780
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:05,919
Speaker 2: She's unbelievable, she's so good. Molly is Oh, Jennifer, let's

781
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,439
Speaker 2: massage the scene. Now.

782
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,920
Speaker 3: I'm like, here, come this bitch. I'm fifty.

783
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 2: I can kick the same bitch that tongue catched the

784
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:21,200
Speaker 2: tree and fell into uh chairs with Whitney Hilstones.

785
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 3: When they called me Rosie.

786
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 2: When they called me because I just finished eight years

787
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,719
Speaker 2: on Blackish, right, would y'all leave me alone? But they

788
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 2: called me and said Molly Shannon, I said, bitch, you

789
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,520
Speaker 2: had me at Hello. Yes, because it's nothing else. I know,

790
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have fun and guests. Who was on the

791
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 2: Zoo WHUSA executive producer and creator saw the show. Vanessa

792
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,240
Speaker 2: bed so I had no idea. Oh she was really

793
00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 2: I've seen her work and and then you know and

794
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 2: say a night live. But we, like I said, we

795
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 2: grew up with Molly. And Vanessa's sitting there and I'm going, oh,

796
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 2: Molly shared it. Yeah, you have be in lo with

797
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 2: s and Vanessa and I joke about it all the time.

798
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:10,440
Speaker 2: She said, I just sat there and thought she hates me,

799
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 2: but she's so good I still want to hire her.

800
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 1: Well, she's a smart woman to cast all you and

801
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 1: the writing and best armstrong as her mom is just

802
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: I love to see.

803
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:28,120
Speaker 2: Her in mad Rogers, all of the ball of the fantastic,

804
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,320
Speaker 2: I mean, and like I said, the best thing about

805
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:35,000
Speaker 2: it is, we have created an environment in order to

806
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:38,520
Speaker 2: give you guys like you said this gym. I love

807
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 2: that thing.

808
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: I agree, gem of a show. Listen, Honey, I love

809
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,799
Speaker 1: you and I could talk to you over and over

810
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: and over. I love you, love you soank you so much.

811
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:47,640
Speaker 2: All Right, Pumpkin.

812
00:43:47,800 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: Jis so the same. Lois Lewis. Hey, We're about to

813
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 1: answer some of the questions that you our listeners have

814
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: sent in. You just record a voice memo on your

815
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: phone and then send it to Onward Rosie at gmail

816
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 1: dot com, and we will answer your question if we

817
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:29,720
Speaker 1: see fit. Take it away. Who's the first question?

818
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 4: Hi Rosey. My name is Matt Curry and I live

819
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 4: in Nova Scotia, Canada. Hi Matt Curry, thank you so

820
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:39,040
Speaker 4: much for bringing this podcast to life. I'm so delighted

821
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 4: to have you back in my kitchen again and listening

822
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 4: to the interesting conversations that you're having so far. My

823
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 4: question is, what is the biggest misunderstanding about you?

824
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: I think the biggest misunderstanding about me, Matt, is that

825
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: I'm tough. I have like a cadence and a kind

826
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,920
Speaker 1: of continents of sort of being a tough New York girl,

827
00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:09,560
Speaker 1: you know. And when people get to meet me and

828
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,720
Speaker 1: they have not met me before, They're like, I can't

829
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 1: believe what is softer you are? You know, I really am,

830
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,640
Speaker 1: like I cry kind of often. I am very mushy,

831
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 1: I'm very emotional, and I'm not really all that tough,

832
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 1: although I do stand up for what I believe in.

833
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: But I think the biggest misconception is that I'm a toughie,

834
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:33,560
Speaker 1: and frankly, I ain't all right. We got another one

835
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: coming up? Who we got next?

836
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:41,960
Speaker 5: Hello, Rosie. I'm Sandra and doctor Sandstorm on TikTok. I

837
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,680
Speaker 5: wanted to congratulate you on your new podcast. I just

838
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,359
Speaker 5: listened to it on a walk and it was just

839
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 5: so refreshing to hear you and Sharon talking about how

840
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:57,879
Speaker 5: you visualized your futures and they came to pass. And

841
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 5: I just wanted to ask you a question. Knowing that

842
00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:04,799
Speaker 5: we do this, we visualize.

843
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 6: Our futures and we manifest them, I wonder what you

844
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,839
Speaker 6: think about all of the attention that we pay to

845
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,120
Speaker 6: the negativities in our environment and what's going on in

846
00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 6: our world. I'm the mother of a trans daughter and

847
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:23,239
Speaker 6: I worry about her every day, and I have to

848
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 6: keep up on what's going on in the politics of

849
00:46:26,960 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 6: our country. And yet sometimes I feel like by focusing

850
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 6: on it, I'm bringing about more and I wonder what

851
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 6: your thoughts.

852
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 1: Are on that. Wow, well that's a fascinating conversation. I

853
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,719
Speaker 1: think my first thought, of course, would be to get

854
00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: as much information as I could to keep my daughter safe.

855
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: And I also realized at the same time how overwhelming

856
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 1: that can be, especially now with the Republican led organized

857
00:46:55,480 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 1: attack on the LBGTA community, and it's terrifying what's happening

858
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 1: to trans people. It's terrifying how they're trying to use

859
00:47:03,760 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: us once again as a voting wedge, as as something

860
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: that they can use to anger and discredit and and

861
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:21,879
Speaker 1: shame people and oftentimes get them killed. You know, I

862
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: think that we do give power to things and then

863
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:32,040
Speaker 1: we can manifest them by thinking them. You know, I

864
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 1: think therefore I am. I mean, I do believe that

865
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 1: we choose and manifest our life as we as we

866
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: live it. And and the balance that we need to

867
00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:51,040
Speaker 1: find between information and instinct, between caring and coverage. You know,

868
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:54,600
Speaker 1: that's a balance that we all have to struggle with

869
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: and find out how to make that work in our life. Hey,

870
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 1: thank you all for tuning in. Please leave me a

871
00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:04,000
Speaker 1: voice if you can. Next week on this podcast Onward

872
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,400
Speaker 1: with Rosi o donald. I almost call it a blog

873
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Speaker 1: every day, that's how old I am. It's not a blog, people,

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Speaker 1: it's a podcast. Next week is Dylan mulvaney, who's a

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Speaker 1: wonderful young woman that you probably know from TikTok, who

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Speaker 1: filmed her transition and filmed a year of her life

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Speaker 1: as she transitioned from male to female. And she's a

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Speaker 1: wonderful young woman and we had a very interesting conversation.

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Speaker 1: She's the age of my elder children, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like a parent to her. I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: like a mom. And I was curious about things I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand and she definitely helped me. And all of

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Speaker 1: that comes out next week on Onward with Rosie o'

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Speaker 1: donald Dylan mulvany, So don't miss that. So thank you

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Speaker 1: all very much and peace out.