WEBVTT - Olympian Gabby Thomas On Choosing Happiness 0:00:14.956 --> 0:00:33.076 Pushkin, Hey, slight Changers. I cannot believe the Olympics are over. 0:00:33.676 --> 0:00:36.476 I am in total denial over here, as I've been 0:00:36.476 --> 0:00:40.676 tuning in most evenings to watch the coverage this Olympics. 0:00:40.876 --> 0:00:43.876 I followed so many sports, but there was one athlete 0:00:43.876 --> 0:00:47.196 in particular that I was very excited to watch, and 0:00:47.236 --> 0:00:50.796 that's US track star Gabby Thomas. I actually interviewed Gabby 0:00:50.876 --> 0:00:53.276 on A Slight Change of Plans back in twenty twenty one, 0:00:54.076 --> 0:00:58.236 and she absolutely crushed it in Paris. So she won 0:00:58.436 --> 0:01:01.236 her first individual gold medal in the two hundred meter 0:01:01.356 --> 0:01:04.116 race and then went on to win two more gold 0:01:04.156 --> 0:01:08.236 medals in team relay races. When I spoke with Gabby 0:01:08.316 --> 0:01:11.796 on the show after her Olympic debut in Tokyo, she 0:01:11.876 --> 0:01:15.796 was incredibly open about her young life and her complicated 0:01:15.836 --> 0:01:19.396 relationship with track and field. She defied many of the 0:01:19.396 --> 0:01:23.076 stereotypes I had around what someone has to be like 0:01:23.196 --> 0:01:27.796 in order to become an Olympian. Gabby's thoughtful reflections really 0:01:27.876 --> 0:01:30.756 embody the spirit of A Slight Change of Plans, and 0:01:30.796 --> 0:01:33.916 they struck me even more powerfully after her wins in Paris. 0:01:34.356 --> 0:01:41.636 I really hope you enjoyed this conversation. When I first 0:01:41.716 --> 0:01:44.956 heard about Gabby's ascent in track and field, I assumed 0:01:44.956 --> 0:01:48.836 her relationship with running was a relatively straightforward, one passion 0:01:48.876 --> 0:01:52.276 at an early age match with a singular focus. But 0:01:52.356 --> 0:01:55.996 that wasn't the case. I discovered that Gabby had competing 0:01:56.036 --> 0:01:58.996 interests and as a result, her focus was pulled in 0:01:59.076 --> 0:02:02.516 different directions over the course of her life, especially during 0:02:02.556 --> 0:02:06.036 her time as a Harvard undergrad, and this tension has 0:02:06.116 --> 0:02:09.516 led Gabby to continually question which path she to take. 0:02:10.236 --> 0:02:13.716 At times, She's even considered whether she should quit track altogether. 0:02:15.836 --> 0:02:18.116 And so, because the show is all about how we 0:02:18.196 --> 0:02:21.436 navigate those big inflection moments in our lives, I thought 0:02:21.436 --> 0:02:24.996 we could learn a lot from Gabby's story of change. 0:02:25.196 --> 0:02:27.916 I'm Maya Shunker and this is a slight change of plans, 0:02:28.316 --> 0:02:30.516 a show about who we are and who we become 0:02:30.996 --> 0:02:46.316 in the face of a big change. So I'd love 0:02:46.356 --> 0:02:49.156 to start by going all the way back to your childhood. 0:02:49.556 --> 0:02:51.756 I think one thing a lot of people might not 0:02:51.796 --> 0:02:54.636 know about your story is that growing up you had 0:02:54.676 --> 0:02:58.036 no interest in being an athlete, right you wanted to 0:02:58.076 --> 0:03:01.356 study neurobiology. And I'm wondering if you can tell me 0:03:01.436 --> 0:03:04.396 more about your family and how it led you down 0:03:04.436 --> 0:03:04.916 that path. 0:03:05.996 --> 0:03:10.116 In terms of going into neurobiology, that came from very 0:03:10.156 --> 0:03:14.516 personal experiences within my own family and just seeing how 0:03:15.356 --> 0:03:19.396 my brothers who are neuro atypical and who they are 0:03:19.596 --> 0:03:23.476 and how they navigated life. One of my younger brothers 0:03:23.636 --> 0:03:26.836 has autism. He has Aspergers and he was diagnosed at 0:03:26.836 --> 0:03:29.956 the age of four, I believe, and just watching how 0:03:29.996 --> 0:03:33.156 he navigates the world and how the world isn't exactly 0:03:33.196 --> 0:03:36.076 built for him, but he's so special and amazing in 0:03:36.116 --> 0:03:37.916 his own way. And then I have my twin brother 0:03:37.956 --> 0:03:41.636 who just battled Adhd I believe he was diagnosed at eight, 0:03:42.316 --> 0:03:45.396 and going through that and going through the school system 0:03:45.756 --> 0:03:47.676 and having to deal with that and having things not 0:03:47.756 --> 0:03:50.036 really be adopted towards you, but you know, they have 0:03:50.116 --> 0:03:51.996 to adapt towards the world. 0:03:51.756 --> 0:03:52.476 That they're living in. 0:03:52.916 --> 0:03:54.956 So at the end of the day, at this point, 0:03:54.996 --> 0:03:57.276 I decided that I wanted to study the nervous system 0:03:57.516 --> 0:03:59.116 and just explore that area. 0:03:59.276 --> 0:04:02.156 And I'm wondering, Gaddy, was there a specific moment in 0:04:02.196 --> 0:04:05.276 your life where you thought, Okay, this is what I 0:04:05.316 --> 0:04:06.436 have to do with my life. 0:04:06.676 --> 0:04:08.436 Yeah, there was definitely a moment when I was in 0:04:08.516 --> 0:04:12.476 high school, this random morning getting ready for school, My mom, 0:04:12.676 --> 0:04:14.356 my twin brother, and I were all in the kitchen, 0:04:14.396 --> 0:04:16.476 sitting at the kitchen table, just getting ready like we 0:04:16.516 --> 0:04:16.956 normally do. 0:04:17.116 --> 0:04:18.596 I was fixing a bowl of cereal. 0:04:18.716 --> 0:04:21.076 My brother was just grabbing his backpack getting ready to go, 0:04:21.676 --> 0:04:23.956 and my mom had asked him if he had taken 0:04:23.996 --> 0:04:27.236 its medication for school that day, and he said no, 0:04:27.956 --> 0:04:30.036 And of course, you know, she's thinking, well why not, 0:04:30.236 --> 0:04:33.516 because this is your normal. We should be taking medication 0:04:33.636 --> 0:04:35.636 so that you can go and focus. Then he had 0:04:35.676 --> 0:04:38.156 mentioned that he could not take the side effects anymore, 0:04:38.156 --> 0:04:41.076 he didn't like how it made him feel. And for me, 0:04:41.236 --> 0:04:44.156 what I had noticed in the weeks, even months prior 0:04:44.196 --> 0:04:47.876 to that exact moment, was that my brother was very 0:04:47.916 --> 0:04:50.236 different from the brother that I had grown up with. 0:04:50.716 --> 0:04:54.596 He was just this very very active and fun and 0:04:54.716 --> 0:04:58.756 silly kid. And then you notice as he would switch 0:04:58.836 --> 0:05:03.996 the medication, he just seemed so so somber and just 0:05:04.076 --> 0:05:07.076 not quite himself. And I think we all noticed it, 0:05:07.196 --> 0:05:09.796 and my mom had gotten to a point where she 0:05:10.076 --> 0:05:12.956 did not know what to do, and the frustration just 0:05:12.996 --> 0:05:16.636 set in and my mom just started crying I had 0:05:16.796 --> 0:05:19.316 never seen her cry like that, and I think it 0:05:19.356 --> 0:05:22.556 was very it was shocking for me, probably for my 0:05:22.596 --> 0:05:24.716 twin brother too, but definitely very shocking for me to 0:05:24.756 --> 0:05:29.076 witness that and to see that frustration and just not 0:05:29.276 --> 0:05:32.396 knowing what steps to take next. And so I think 0:05:32.436 --> 0:05:34.756 in that moment, yeah, I was very curious about it. 0:05:34.836 --> 0:05:37.916 I was wondering, well, why is it, Why is this 0:05:37.996 --> 0:05:40.116 his only option? Why is it that he has to 0:05:40.596 --> 0:05:43.716 be altering himself and who he is? So I was, Yeah, 0:05:43.756 --> 0:05:46.076 I was maybe sixteen at this time, and I decided 0:05:46.116 --> 0:05:48.516 that I wanted to go into neurobiology and study it. 0:05:49.156 --> 0:05:51.196 Yeah, I mean I can imagine as his sister, just 0:05:51.236 --> 0:05:53.196 feeling so helpless, like, why is he having to make 0:05:53.236 --> 0:05:56.636 this trade off between feeling like himself and getting his 0:05:56.676 --> 0:05:57.356 schoolwork done? 0:05:57.436 --> 0:05:57.556 Right? 0:05:57.556 --> 0:06:00.276 That's not right? And it's also as his twin sister, right. 0:06:00.356 --> 0:06:02.316 So I just I grew up with him and I 0:06:02.316 --> 0:06:06.036 did everything with him, and we just did everything together, 0:06:06.116 --> 0:06:08.076 and he was my best friend growing up. 0:06:08.156 --> 0:06:09.276 And she just see. 0:06:10.996 --> 0:06:14.836 That kind of helplessness from someone who truly is just 0:06:14.836 --> 0:06:18.796 feels like a part of me was it was pretty shocking. 0:06:19.076 --> 0:06:20.996 Wow, that's so beautiful. I mean, I can hear the 0:06:21.036 --> 0:06:24.476 passion and curiosity in your voice even now, you know, 0:06:24.596 --> 0:06:28.396 just talking about this, I love to pivot to running 0:06:28.396 --> 0:06:31.196 for a moment. I love the fact that you've been 0:06:31.676 --> 0:06:36.116 able to occupy these two very distinct worlds in your life, 0:06:36.156 --> 0:06:39.636 you know, track and public health. And also there's been 0:06:39.716 --> 0:06:42.716 so many ebbs and flows in your drive and motivation 0:06:42.836 --> 0:06:45.396 along the way, and to me, that's a part of 0:06:45.436 --> 0:06:49.556 your story that feels so relatable. I can't relate to 0:06:49.636 --> 0:06:54.676 being an incredibly fast runner, though. Note please that I 0:06:54.796 --> 0:06:57.316 was on the cross country team in high school and 0:06:57.436 --> 0:06:59.276 it was notably a walk on team, which is the 0:06:59.276 --> 0:07:00.916 only reason that I was on the cross country team 0:07:00.916 --> 0:07:04.996 in high school that I did log in my five k's. Anyway, Yeah, 0:07:05.076 --> 0:07:07.956 the part that's so relatable to me is that you know, 0:07:07.996 --> 0:07:11.796 we all question at some point or another whether we're 0:07:11.796 --> 0:07:14.396 on the right path or whether we should change course. 0:07:14.596 --> 0:07:17.676 And it was so reassuring for me, and I'm sure 0:07:17.716 --> 0:07:20.396 we'll be so reassuring for so many listeners that you 0:07:20.476 --> 0:07:24.036 fall into this camp too. I so appreciated the fact 0:07:24.076 --> 0:07:27.276 that you've said you didn't actually love running it first. 0:07:27.636 --> 0:07:29.876 And the reason I love that, Gavy is because it runs. 0:07:29.916 --> 0:07:33.956 So counter to the typical romantic story you hear from Olympians, 0:07:34.036 --> 0:07:36.236 right that it was like love it first step or 0:07:36.276 --> 0:07:38.836 love it first jump or whatever you know you hear 0:07:38.876 --> 0:07:42.796 out there, and so you know your story. It just 0:07:42.836 --> 0:07:45.596 feels kind of normal and an interesting way, right. It 0:07:45.596 --> 0:07:49.556 shows that passion can be cultivated. And so just bring 0:07:49.596 --> 0:07:51.876 me back to your first encounter with running. 0:07:51.996 --> 0:07:53.596 I'm wondering what that exposure was like. 0:07:54.116 --> 0:07:56.356 Yeah, it's actually very funny that you bring that up, 0:07:56.396 --> 0:07:57.836 because a lot of times I do just kind of 0:07:57.836 --> 0:08:00.956 feel like such a phony, being like the only pro 0:08:00.996 --> 0:08:03.676 track athlete who didn't want to go into track and field. 0:08:03.716 --> 0:08:05.636 Whenever I talk about it with people, it's always like, 0:08:05.716 --> 0:08:08.516 what are you talking about? So, what are you doing here? 0:08:09.156 --> 0:08:11.596 You can cultivate it. But yeah, so I got into 0:08:11.636 --> 0:08:15.076 track in middle school. My mom forced me to do it, 0:08:15.316 --> 0:08:17.116 and at the time I didn't want to go. None 0:08:17.116 --> 0:08:19.876 of my friends were doing it, and I, quite frankly, 0:08:19.876 --> 0:08:22.596 I didn't want to run. Soccer was my first love, 0:08:22.916 --> 0:08:25.316 and they knew I was fast because I would run 0:08:25.316 --> 0:08:27.156 the ball in soccer and that was all I knew 0:08:27.156 --> 0:08:28.916 about running, and I knew I didn't want. 0:08:28.756 --> 0:08:29.116 To do it. 0:08:29.316 --> 0:08:31.436 But I ended up going and being on the team 0:08:32.196 --> 0:08:34.916 and just running really fast, and from then on it 0:08:34.956 --> 0:08:36.636 was almost as if I didn't really have a choice 0:08:36.676 --> 0:08:38.916 but to do track and field because I was winning 0:08:39.716 --> 0:08:42.676 every race that I was put in, whether I just 0:08:42.796 --> 0:08:45.716 varied across a sprints and then even the jumps, So 0:08:45.756 --> 0:08:47.356 I was kind of in this position where I felt 0:08:47.356 --> 0:08:48.236 obligated to do it. 0:08:48.516 --> 0:08:50.556 Tell me more about that, because that is so interesting, 0:08:50.716 --> 0:08:54.316 right that when we see success in ourselves, even if 0:08:54.316 --> 0:08:58.596 it doesn't align with an active passion, we feel compelled 0:08:58.636 --> 0:09:00.596 in some way, like we owe it to the world 0:09:00.796 --> 0:09:01.596 or owe it to ourselves. 0:09:01.636 --> 0:09:02.316 I don't know what it is. 0:09:02.676 --> 0:09:03.876 That's exactly how I felt. 0:09:03.996 --> 0:09:05.436 Yeah, tell me more about that. 0:09:05.436 --> 0:09:07.756 That's exactly how I felt. I felt like I just 0:09:07.836 --> 0:09:10.076 owed it to the world. You have all these people 0:09:10.116 --> 0:09:12.276 who are congratulating me, telling me how proud they were 0:09:12.276 --> 0:09:13.916 of me, and they were so happy to have me 0:09:13.956 --> 0:09:16.076 on the team and have me running. I just felt 0:09:16.076 --> 0:09:18.596 like I would have been a very big disappointment if 0:09:18.636 --> 0:09:19.836 I did not continue to run. 0:09:20.356 --> 0:09:21.636 It's a very weird feeling, and. 0:09:22.836 --> 0:09:24.796 In hindsight, it's easy to say, Okay, well, then why 0:09:24.836 --> 0:09:27.396 did you continue to do it? But I think that's 0:09:27.556 --> 0:09:29.316 a lot of time. That's how we operate, and you 0:09:29.356 --> 0:09:31.716 want to be successful so badly that sometimes you're just 0:09:31.756 --> 0:09:34.836 willing to like overlook whatever is making you happy. Actually, 0:09:35.636 --> 0:09:37.636 it is this interesting thing that we do in society 0:09:37.916 --> 0:09:40.756 where you kind of just don't want to waste your talent, right, 0:09:41.636 --> 0:09:44.516 And I had that talent, and at the end of 0:09:44.556 --> 0:09:46.876 the day, you know, I do find that people do 0:09:47.116 --> 0:09:48.996 enjoy things that they're good at, and that is a 0:09:48.996 --> 0:09:51.396 true statement. But at the time, I didn't, you know, 0:09:51.516 --> 0:09:53.916 that was fine. I just continued to do it and 0:09:53.956 --> 0:09:55.676 I just found joy in the little parts of it, 0:09:55.836 --> 0:09:57.756 made some friends on the team, and you know, you 0:09:57.796 --> 0:09:59.156 just find little aspects that you like. 0:09:59.236 --> 0:10:01.916 But ultimately track wasn't. I didn't want it to be 0:10:01.956 --> 0:10:02.316 my thing. 0:10:02.876 --> 0:10:05.676 And then at some point, you know, I kept doing 0:10:05.676 --> 0:10:08.876 it through middle school, and then it was my software 0:10:08.956 --> 0:10:12.716 year in high school when I actually started to enjoy 0:10:12.796 --> 0:10:16.476 it and set goals for myself and actually be pretty 0:10:17.196 --> 0:10:19.956 motivated and determined in the actual sport. 0:10:20.116 --> 0:10:21.996 What do you think changed for you? What led you 0:10:22.036 --> 0:10:25.996 to suddenly start articulating these goals. It turned into a 0:10:26.636 --> 0:10:29.076 thing you were doing for grudgingly to a thing that 0:10:29.156 --> 0:10:30.716 was actually driving you day to day. 0:10:31.236 --> 0:10:33.596 Well, part of it was I'm like, if I'm going 0:10:33.676 --> 0:10:35.556 to be here every day in the spring, then I 0:10:35.596 --> 0:10:38.716 should probably figure out a way to love it. But 0:10:38.756 --> 0:10:40.636 the biggest part of it was I had a coach 0:10:40.836 --> 0:10:45.396 who was pushing me a lot and actually just taught 0:10:45.436 --> 0:10:49.196 me a lot about working hard and actually getting out 0:10:49.196 --> 0:10:51.356 what you put in, and that's something that I had 0:10:51.396 --> 0:10:54.116 not really experienced before. So it was kind of just 0:10:54.596 --> 0:10:58.276 a mindset shift that was like, you know, it actually 0:10:58.356 --> 0:11:01.756 kind of transcended track and field itself and it more 0:11:01.876 --> 0:11:05.676 just became something about me growing as a person. So 0:11:05.716 --> 0:11:09.876 it really wasn't about loving the running itself, loving running 0:11:09.876 --> 0:11:11.836 that two hundred meters, but it was more like, Okay, 0:11:12.356 --> 0:11:14.156 if I'm going to do this, I'm gonna work hard 0:11:14.156 --> 0:11:15.596 here and then I'm going to see the results. 0:11:15.596 --> 0:11:17.956 And that was rewarding part that that I found to 0:11:18.036 --> 0:11:18.676 enjoy about it. 0:11:19.276 --> 0:11:21.276 Were there any role models you had in this space, 0:11:21.396 --> 0:11:24.396 anyone you saw crushing it out there that. 0:11:24.876 --> 0:11:27.516 Let you up. Yeah, Well, Allison Felix was always my 0:11:27.596 --> 0:11:28.036 role model. 0:11:28.156 --> 0:11:31.796 I remember when I was gosh, I had to be 0:11:31.836 --> 0:11:34.836 in middle school at my grandmother's house and the Olympic 0:11:34.876 --> 0:11:36.796 Trials were on and my mom told me to turn 0:11:36.796 --> 0:11:38.756 on the TV because there was someone on the screen 0:11:38.796 --> 0:11:42.716 that just reminded her of me. She had these long 0:11:42.796 --> 0:11:45.756 legs and she was just absolutely crushing it with grace 0:11:45.836 --> 0:11:48.876 and poise, And at the time I thought nothing about it. 0:11:49.196 --> 0:11:51.476 I said that is great for her, and my mom 0:11:51.556 --> 0:11:53.316 was like, you could be an Olympian one day, and 0:11:53.356 --> 0:11:57.156 I'm like, okay, sounds great. Mom, so happy for Allison, 0:11:57.236 --> 0:12:01.916 but that's not my path. I just never considered it. 0:12:02.316 --> 0:12:05.556 And after that, you know, I followed Allison's career a 0:12:05.596 --> 0:12:08.316 little bit, but again I wasn't following professional track and 0:12:08.356 --> 0:12:12.076 field that closely. It's not something I inspired to do 0:12:12.156 --> 0:12:14.116 because I didn't know that it was something that I 0:12:14.116 --> 0:12:16.996 actually could do, especially for someone who just didn't do 0:12:17.316 --> 0:12:20.276 you know, club track or any like club sports like that. 0:12:20.676 --> 0:12:22.556 So I never paid that much attention to it. 0:12:22.996 --> 0:12:24.956 Yeah, I also didn't pay much attention to my cross 0:12:24.956 --> 0:12:27.916 country skills similar similar you know, not it had nothing 0:12:27.956 --> 0:12:30.036 to do with lack of ability or you know, slow 0:12:30.116 --> 0:12:34.036 times or anything like that. So you have this great coach, 0:12:34.476 --> 0:12:36.436 you're performing well in high school, but then there is 0:12:36.476 --> 0:12:39.996 this moment where you considered quitting running altogether when you 0:12:40.036 --> 0:12:43.076 were just graduating from high school? What is it that 0:12:43.196 --> 0:12:46.196 led you to continue on at that moment in time. 0:12:46.836 --> 0:12:48.516 So there was a lot of that back and forth 0:12:48.596 --> 0:12:51.796 throughout my entire college career where I was thinking, is 0:12:51.836 --> 0:12:52.876 track and field right for me? 0:12:53.076 --> 0:12:54.596 Is this the path that I want to go down? 0:12:55.276 --> 0:12:55.516 Is it? 0:12:55.996 --> 0:12:58.316 You know, taking opportunities for me? At this point? You 0:12:58.316 --> 0:13:00.996 know what where am I going to go from here? 0:13:01.436 --> 0:13:03.316 And there are so many things that I wanted to accomplish, 0:13:03.716 --> 0:13:06.916 especially after landing at Harvard University, I thought, you know, 0:13:07.076 --> 0:13:09.756 there are just so many things I can steady that 0:13:09.836 --> 0:13:12.076 will take a lot of time. If I want to 0:13:12.116 --> 0:13:14.196 do labs that will take a lot of time. If 0:13:14.236 --> 0:13:15.716 I want to study abroad, that will take a lot 0:13:15.716 --> 0:13:17.636 of time, And I don't know if I can do both. 0:13:17.836 --> 0:13:19.756 I was taking this course sick and tired of being 0:13:19.756 --> 0:13:22.476 sick and tired, and it sparked an interest in me 0:13:22.916 --> 0:13:24.756 in sociology and biology. 0:13:25.276 --> 0:13:26.516 And there were other. 0:13:26.396 --> 0:13:28.316 Things on campus that I wanted to be a part of, 0:13:28.356 --> 0:13:30.676 other organizations and extracurriculars that I wanted to be a 0:13:30.716 --> 0:13:33.396 part of. A lot of social things that I wanted 0:13:33.396 --> 0:13:34.916 to be a part of because That's also the fun 0:13:34.956 --> 0:13:37.036 part of Harvard is like meeting all of these really 0:13:37.076 --> 0:13:41.516 fascinating and interesting people, and it was finding that balance. 0:13:41.556 --> 0:13:42.996 It was very very hard for me to do. 0:13:43.356 --> 0:13:44.996 Yeah, I'm wondering if we can talk a little bit 0:13:44.996 --> 0:13:48.356 more about this really critical class you took at Harvard, 0:13:49.556 --> 0:13:51.236 which seems to have led you to double down on 0:13:51.276 --> 0:13:54.516 your commitment to working in the public health space. Can 0:13:54.516 --> 0:13:56.076 you tell me more about the class. 0:13:56.316 --> 0:13:58.436 Yeah, So, Sick and Tired of being sick and Tired 0:13:58.556 --> 0:14:00.996 was this freshman seminar that I took in the fall, 0:14:01.436 --> 0:14:05.436 and it was about health disparities and racism and medicine, 0:14:05.876 --> 0:14:09.636 something that I had never been familiar with. We're not 0:14:09.676 --> 0:14:12.036 taught that in school. We're not taught that in high school, 0:14:12.436 --> 0:14:14.556 especially not in the white communities that you know, I 0:14:14.636 --> 0:14:17.636 was growing up in. It was when we were learning 0:14:17.676 --> 0:14:21.316 about the Tuskegee Syphilist Study and we were learning about 0:14:21.356 --> 0:14:26.516 Henrietta Lacks, and these two stories were just great examples 0:14:26.556 --> 0:14:30.596 of how black bodies are disregarded in medicine, and it 0:14:30.676 --> 0:14:34.076 was just very very mind blowing and very impactful. 0:14:35.116 --> 0:14:36.796 I want to talk about this moment I read about 0:14:36.836 --> 0:14:40.796 where you're taking this class it's giving you all sorts 0:14:40.796 --> 0:14:43.516 of new insights about the depths of medical racism that 0:14:43.556 --> 0:14:47.396 plague our country's history and also our country's present. And 0:14:47.636 --> 0:14:48.996 then you speak to your mom about it. 0:14:49.276 --> 0:14:49.516 Yeah. 0:14:49.516 --> 0:14:52.716 So my mom is actually a rockster in her own right. 0:14:52.796 --> 0:14:56.476 So she is an education and her whole objective in 0:14:56.516 --> 0:14:58.996 life is to fight racism and education, right, and so 0:14:59.076 --> 0:15:02.276 she's always been one to just fight racial injustice. But 0:15:02.356 --> 0:15:05.956 she's never kind of we never had that conversation right 0:15:05.996 --> 0:15:08.596 about my career, and she's never forced any type of 0:15:08.596 --> 0:15:10.596 career on me. So I think when I called her 0:15:10.636 --> 0:15:13.356 and told her about what I was studying and I 0:15:13.396 --> 0:15:16.756 felt like this fiery passion about it, she was like, yes, 0:15:16.876 --> 0:15:18.836 like this is what you know. We owe it to 0:15:18.876 --> 0:15:21.716 the world to fight these injustices. And she told me, 0:15:21.796 --> 0:15:25.276 you know that I'm put in this position and it's 0:15:25.316 --> 0:15:27.996 not a coincidence, and that this is what I was 0:15:27.996 --> 0:15:30.876 meant to do, and that it's my responsibility, just as 0:15:30.916 --> 0:15:34.196 a black woman, with this opportunity and with this platform, 0:15:34.276 --> 0:15:36.916 to go into it and fight injustice. And so that 0:15:36.916 --> 0:15:40.436 that's something that really stuck with me and inspired me because. 0:15:40.196 --> 0:15:41.756 She she did the same thing. 0:15:41.876 --> 0:15:43.476 And you know, when I look back and I think 0:15:43.716 --> 0:15:47.676 where my mother came from. She came from just complete 0:15:47.676 --> 0:15:53.356 poverty in Mobile, Alabama and worked her way through school 0:15:53.836 --> 0:15:57.556 being you know, just finishing and going through undergrad to 0:15:57.596 --> 0:16:00.516 grad school to PhD and using her experience and her 0:16:00.556 --> 0:16:04.116 mastery and her opportunity to pay it forward and to 0:16:04.236 --> 0:16:08.276 fight for people who are underserved in the world. So yeah, absolutely, 0:16:08.396 --> 0:16:10.116 my mom inspired me so much to just pay it 0:16:10.156 --> 0:16:12.636 forward and fight the injustices that I'm that I witness. 0:16:13.636 --> 0:16:17.156 So Harvard Gaddy is falling in love with public health 0:16:17.316 --> 0:16:20.276 and you know, aspiring public health official who's helping to 0:16:20.316 --> 0:16:24.996 bridge racial gaps in the system, racial inequity, and yet 0:16:25.036 --> 0:16:28.916 this track thing keeps happening to you. It sounds like, right, 0:16:28.956 --> 0:16:32.036 and it's it's just so fascinating for you to have 0:16:32.076 --> 0:16:34.036 learn more about you because it just it feels like 0:16:34.716 --> 0:16:37.236 running was this continual thing. 0:16:37.076 --> 0:16:38.956 That you just kept falling into. 0:16:39.156 --> 0:16:43.396 Right, It's like this afterthought, but eventually it's just hard 0:16:43.476 --> 0:16:48.156 for you to deny just how remarkable your potential is. 0:16:48.596 --> 0:16:49.236 Right is that? 0:16:49.356 --> 0:16:49.556 Is that? 0:16:49.596 --> 0:16:51.836 Am I accurate in capturing it in that way? 0:16:53.396 --> 0:16:53.956 What it was? 0:16:54.436 --> 0:16:58.436 So yeah, my freshman year track was an afterthought and 0:16:58.476 --> 0:17:01.436 I hated that, and it was something that I was 0:17:01.516 --> 0:17:04.956 incredibly insecure about just being on the team. And you know, 0:17:05.116 --> 0:17:09.396 there's this culture of just being very intense and being 0:17:09.476 --> 0:17:12.516 all in and very committed, and I was going through 0:17:12.516 --> 0:17:14.956 the motions of that because you know, I was doing that. 0:17:14.996 --> 0:17:17.316 I was showing up every day on time when I 0:17:17.356 --> 0:17:19.196 went to the track. I put my one hundred percent 0:17:19.676 --> 0:17:22.676 all into it. But it was so hard for me 0:17:22.796 --> 0:17:26.876 right to actually make that a mental priority the way 0:17:26.876 --> 0:17:29.556 that other things were for me, especially just growing up 0:17:29.556 --> 0:17:32.796 with education being the number one priority and that always 0:17:32.956 --> 0:17:36.276 was and sports were always just something that you did 0:17:36.316 --> 0:17:36.916 after school. 0:17:37.356 --> 0:17:37.876 And so. 0:17:39.716 --> 0:17:44.716 My freshman year, after I finished it, it became even 0:17:44.756 --> 0:17:48.596 harder because I was doing research at Boston Children's Hospital 0:17:49.596 --> 0:17:52.116 on rut syndrome, which is a form of autism. And 0:17:52.196 --> 0:17:53.956 I wanted to get my foot in the door right 0:17:54.276 --> 0:17:56.796 in research and the neurobiology, and I wanted to have 0:17:56.796 --> 0:17:59.076 that experience because I was afraid that if I didn't, 0:17:59.076 --> 0:18:01.316 then I might fall behind, I might fall behind all 0:18:01.316 --> 0:18:04.196 of my peers who were doing and pursuing their passions. 0:18:04.756 --> 0:18:06.796 But at the same time, that was an Olympic Trials 0:18:06.876 --> 0:18:11.276 year and I was running so fast season, and the 0:18:11.316 --> 0:18:13.996 season just kept going. I had to go to regionals, 0:18:13.996 --> 0:18:15.556 and then I had to go to Nationals, and then 0:18:15.636 --> 0:18:19.436 next with Olympic trials, and so that summer I was 0:18:19.476 --> 0:18:24.596 balancing working my research job and then also doing track 0:18:24.636 --> 0:18:27.916 and field at the end, and also working at the 0:18:27.956 --> 0:18:30.556 dry cleaners because I had to make money, and so 0:18:30.716 --> 0:18:33.636 it was very stressful summer for me, and I felt 0:18:33.676 --> 0:18:36.036 like I was being pulled in every direction and also 0:18:36.156 --> 0:18:37.956 just trying to be a human and live my life 0:18:37.956 --> 0:18:40.916 and have that balance. And so I think what ended 0:18:40.996 --> 0:18:42.916 up making me a little bit resentful of track and 0:18:42.956 --> 0:18:47.356 field during that freshman summer was that I was not 0:18:47.476 --> 0:18:49.516 able to put in the hours that I wanted to 0:18:49.596 --> 0:18:52.276 at my research opportunity, and I felt like I was 0:18:52.356 --> 0:18:55.036 losing so much of that opportunity on this end of 0:18:55.076 --> 0:18:57.676 my life because I had to be all in for 0:18:57.716 --> 0:19:00.396 track and field. You know, once you travel to a meet, 0:19:00.796 --> 0:19:03.476 you can't halfway travel. Your body is fully there and 0:19:03.516 --> 0:19:05.436 you're present there and that's what you have to do. 0:19:05.476 --> 0:19:07.956 And I couldn't be present at my lab and it 0:19:08.036 --> 0:19:10.996 frustrated me, and it made me very very nervous and 0:19:11.036 --> 0:19:14.676 insecure about just what I was going to do outside 0:19:14.716 --> 0:19:17.796 of the track world, and that definitely carried into my 0:19:17.836 --> 0:19:21.196 sophomore year. It was an Olympic year. That was YO 0:19:21.316 --> 0:19:24.836 twenty sixteen. And the thing about the trials in twenty 0:19:24.876 --> 0:19:27.076 sixteen is that they actually went really well from me. 0:19:27.156 --> 0:19:28.836 I got sixth place in the final in the two 0:19:28.916 --> 0:19:32.756 hundred and had ran alongside Alison Felix, right, which is 0:19:33.516 --> 0:19:37.676 this amazing and wild dream that I couldn't believe was happening. 0:19:38.036 --> 0:19:40.916 But somehow I was still resentful about it, you know, 0:19:41.276 --> 0:19:45.236 And I've never actually admitted that out loud anywhere to 0:19:45.276 --> 0:19:47.876 anyone except for right now, but that's how I felt. 0:19:49.036 --> 0:19:53.116 Look, Gadby, I love your candor, and I totally understand 0:19:53.156 --> 0:19:55.316 why it's been so hard to admit that, because when 0:19:55.316 --> 0:19:59.476 we admit that we feel resentful about something, we worry 0:19:59.476 --> 0:20:02.516 that in turn we'll face the critique. Shouldn't she just 0:20:02.556 --> 0:20:05.356