1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:09,000 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson. So I was just telling 3 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: you that I personally have been bumping up against some 4 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: mindsets that I did not realize that I had, you know, 5 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: some old programming that has just been so ingrained in 6 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: me from the quote unquote patriarchy. And this is sort 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: of like a word that I've hated for a while. Um, 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 1: but I've started to find these new awareness is happening 9 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:34,239 Speaker 1: in my own life and also some anger that's come 10 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,239 Speaker 1: up for me of just towards men, like, uh, this 11 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 1: is all the guy's fault, especially these rich white men, 12 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: you know, Like I've really put a lot of blame 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: on that, and it's subconscious, but it's now coming to 14 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: the forefront. And so I've told you I'm reading this book, 15 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,159 Speaker 1: The Radical Awakening, which I've talked about a little bit 16 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:54,000 Speaker 1: on this podcast before, but it's opened my mindset up 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: to understanding that there's probably some things that men face 18 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: within this patriarch keep programming that's doing them a disservice 19 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,319 Speaker 1: as well. And so I needed to call in a 20 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,759 Speaker 1: guy because I can't speak to that. So just to 21 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: dive right in. Is there anything that you can reson 22 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 1: that resonates with you as a male or with the 23 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: men you work with that you see as a huge 24 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: inhibitor or a block to a man just becoming a 25 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 1: fully conscious, embodied man that the patriarchy brings to men's life. Well, yeah, 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: because there's so much programming around being tough as a man, 27 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:36,319 Speaker 1: you know, And that's how I grew up. I grew 28 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:38,600 Speaker 1: up in this small farmtown and upstate New York, and 29 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 1: I grew up working on hay, you know, throwing hay 30 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,440 Speaker 1: on farms and stuff like that, working instruction. So like, 31 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: I grew up with this mindset that you could never 32 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: show your feelings, you can never express your emotions, And 33 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 1: so I bottled all that up, especially from all the 34 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: abuse that I experienced in my childhood. I bottled up 35 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: all this anger and sadness and hurt that a head 36 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:01,640 Speaker 1: inside of me, and it really became toxic. So I 37 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: think that in order for a man to truly start 38 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: to awaken and become embodied, he has to work through 39 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: the shadows, the shadow parts of himself that really block 40 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: him from stepping into that truly present, grounded, loving man 41 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: and it's it's a very hard journey. Like that integration 42 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: process has been years for me, and it's something that 43 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: I've struggled with a long time. You know, we we 44 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: just were so conditioned to be tough and not show weakness, 45 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 1: not show our emotions. But then when we get into 46 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: a relationship, you know, if we're talking about a man 47 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: and a woman here, the woman is constantly wondering like 48 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: what's he thinking? Like what's he what's he feel about this? 49 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 1: Because he's almost just like stone cold and just numb 50 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: to his feelings because he's not really expressing himself. And 51 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that a man should be like overly 52 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,959 Speaker 1: expressive either, but I think that a healthy, balanced man 53 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: will have a deep connection to his heart and he 54 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: won't be afraid to show that in an intimate relationship. 55 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: And that's something that I've had to work through myself. 56 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: I know the struggle there. Yeah, can you kind of 57 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: talk through um the different sides of you, because I've 58 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,079 Speaker 1: followed your journey and honestly, you and I did a podcast, 59 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 1: i mean maybe a year ago now even about just 60 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,000 Speaker 1: masculine and feminine energies, and that included a lot of 61 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: your journey, but I want you to kind of give 62 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: the listeners just either a refresher if they listen to 63 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: the first one, or just your story from the beginning 64 00:03:28,919 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: of what you looked like before you had these realizations 65 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: of like, wait, this is not fully who I am 66 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 1: or who I want to be. Yeah. Well, I started 67 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: by saying I was a drunken mess, but I mean, 68 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: honestly like I was. I was about eighty pounds heavier 69 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: than I am now, and I was angry at the world. 70 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: I was very confrontational. I'd be getting dragged out of 71 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: bar rooms for fighting, you know, toxic relationships, all this 72 00:03:57,400 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: other stuff. You know, really honestly and have a connection 73 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: to to myself, and I was very disconnected from myself, 74 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 1: and I was carrying a lot of pain because I 75 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: lived really two different lives growing up. Because at home, 76 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: I was living this life and my sister was the 77 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: heroin addict and dealing with her drug addiction. I had 78 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: to repress all that because I couldn't talk about that anyone. 79 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: And the abuse to my father, who now to this 80 00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,159 Speaker 1: day is one of my best friends. But he put 81 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: me through hell growing up, you know, like he often 82 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 1: put me in situations where I thought he was gonna 83 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: kill me. It made me feel like he was gonna 84 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 1: kill me and held a shotgun to my forehead and 85 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,479 Speaker 1: tell me he was gonna shoot me, you know, beat 86 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: me with fishing poles, he threw hammers at me, punched 87 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: me in my face, like all kinds of crazy shit 88 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: that a lot of a lot of men have dealt 89 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 1: with a lot of men have dealt with this abuse 90 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: and women have dealt with it as well. But in 91 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: the context of what a man goes through, it's almost 92 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: like he's so taught to be tough, tough, tough, don't show, 93 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: don't shown a show. But meanwhile we're learning from men 94 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,320 Speaker 1: who are deeply wounded and still holding onto a lot 95 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: of their own pride and anger and hate. So my 96 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,919 Speaker 1: father projected that a lot onto me. So really, honestly, 97 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: for the first twenty plus years in my life was 98 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: just absolute darkness and hell. And like I as I 99 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: started to come into my early twenties, I started to 100 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: find that light and started to slowly crawl out of 101 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: that darkness that I was in. I mean literal, literal 102 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: darkness at times, like being blackout drunk in a barroom, 103 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: getting dragged out by bouncers like that wasn't that wasn't 104 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: often occurrence for me, And I'm not ashamed of that. 105 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed of who I was because I know 106 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: what I am now, and I know who I am now. 107 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 1: And it took me a long time of healing to 108 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,359 Speaker 1: really let go of all of that pain that I 109 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: was holding onto my in my body. Really, did you 110 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: understand that you were stuffing feelings the way that you 111 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: describe agree conscious of that, I just felt like very angry, 112 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,039 Speaker 1: and I didn't know why. I didn't know that the 113 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 1: root of my pain was all the stuff that I've 114 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 1: been holding onto from my childhood throughout my teenage years, 115 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: and all the abuse that I went through and all 116 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: the different experiences that I had dealt with. I didn't 117 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 1: know or have any understanding of why I felt the 118 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 1: way I did because I was just living in my ego. 119 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: I was living in the state of survival. And I 120 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,200 Speaker 1: feel like when we're living in the state of survival, 121 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,800 Speaker 1: we're not aware of our inner world because we're trying 122 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:28,840 Speaker 1: to protect ourselves. And I was so guarded and so 123 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,920 Speaker 1: blocked from those around me. No one can even get 124 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 1: close to me. Like it was like I so deeply 125 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 1: yearned for like an intimate connection and like deeper friendships 126 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, but like I wouldn't allow people 127 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: to get close to me because I was so guarded. 128 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,840 Speaker 1: I was almost like a like a beaten dog, you know, 129 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: like where if you got too close to it, the 130 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: dog would started to kind of like raise his shackles 131 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,480 Speaker 1: and like growl at you a little bit, like don't 132 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: mess me, about to bite your ass kind of thing. 133 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 1: And that's how I felt. And but I've always felt 134 00:06:56,279 --> 00:06:58,160 Speaker 1: like I've always had a good heart, and I've always 135 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 1: loved deeply, and like I've always want to help people, 136 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: and that's really what led me into doing what I 137 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,840 Speaker 1: do now. But all along I just kept like asking 138 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: myself deeper questions like why are you really here? Like 139 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: who are you really beyond your pain? Yeah, and you 140 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: mentioned a lot anger like that seems to me to 141 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: be what I hear a lot of men described as. 142 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: And I know in my personal experience with some of 143 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: the men in my life, it seems like the go 144 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: to emotion, right, And I think that is a part 145 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: of this old programming that we're mentioning to where men 146 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 1: aren't allowed to have these feminine feelings or what we've 147 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: we've put into this box of feminine feeling sadness, hurt, pain, 148 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:44,040 Speaker 1: um just even like resentment and going into vulnerability and 149 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: all of those things. So why do you think that 150 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 1: that is or what what took you out of the 151 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: mindset of like, oh my god, I'm only angry because 152 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: that's the only emotion I'm taught that's okay. Yeah, well, 153 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 1: I think if you're really looking at like the energetic 154 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: components of it, we overvalue the masculine and our culture 155 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,560 Speaker 1: and we undervalue the feminine as a whole. You're saying 156 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 1: not even so everything you just named all feminine qualities, 157 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,040 Speaker 1: and we all have both mask and feminine energies in this, 158 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 1: regardless of your gender. The feeling parts of ourselves, the repressing, 159 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: the sadness, not being able to be vulnerable, not being 160 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: able to express yourself, that's all the feminine essence within us. 161 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 1: And a lot of men especially and women do this 162 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,440 Speaker 1: as well, and we can talk more about that. A 163 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: lot of men especially have kind of like disowned that 164 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: feminine part of themselves, so they just live in their mind, 165 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: they live in their their ego and they're in this 166 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: constant state of chasing, chasing, chasing the next best thing, 167 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: the next high. And I lived this way for very long, 168 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 1: and this this way of unconscious being, I would call 169 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: it is not fulfilling. And because nothing is ever enough 170 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: and you're always right onto the next thing. You know, 171 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: for example, if you say, if you own a business 172 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: and you make a certain out in your business, it's 173 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: you're already right past that goal onto the next thing. 174 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,320 Speaker 1: So you're never really fulfilled. Or you get into a 175 00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:09,080 Speaker 1: relationship and soon down the road you're thinking about what 176 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 1: else could I be with? Who else could I be with? 177 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,520 Speaker 1: Onto the next thing, and it's always like this next thing, 178 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: this next pursuit, which is really what the mask is doing, 179 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: is pursuing pursuit of the next thing. And they're never 180 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: really fulfilled. And that creates a huge, huge imbalance within 181 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: men especially Yeah, I mean, I'm just thinking about it 182 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: through like the things that I've been bumming up against. 183 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 1: And you've mentioned, you know, ego a couple of times, 184 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: and I think that's a word that kind of gets 185 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: thrown around and people don't fully even have an understanding 186 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: of what that means or what that could look like 187 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: in your life. I know for me sometimes I'll feel 188 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: fear even or um these huge insecurities and when I 189 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: really ask myself what's going on, it's like an ego mindset. 190 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: Of the only reason I'm scared of that is because 191 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: of how it portrays me to other people. Is that 192 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: something that you find I'm the masculine energy struggles with 193 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,520 Speaker 1: more than the feminine, Like, is that something that's been 194 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: programmed into the mail to be like, oh, I'm not 195 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: operate from this place of ego? Yes. And it's interesting 196 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: about the ego because a lot of people kind of 197 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: bashed the ego, but the ego is actually designed to 198 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: protect us, right, It's designed to keep us alive, So 199 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: it wants to preserve this human body. But that's not 200 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: possible because at some point this body is going to 201 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,599 Speaker 1: go back into the earth. Right, But the ego is 202 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 1: always trying to keep us alive, so it gets stuck 203 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:34,840 Speaker 1: in this fight or flight mode of survival of protection. 204 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: So a lot of people have overdeveloped their ego and 205 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: they're always in this guarded state, not allowing anyone to 206 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: get close to their heart. So when it comes to 207 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 1: the masking and the feminine, I would say that when 208 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 1: the mask on is imbalanced, yes, they rely on their ego, right, 209 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: and they're controlled by their ego, where the feminine, when 210 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:58,079 Speaker 1: the feminine is imbalanced, they're controlled by their emotional swings 211 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:02,959 Speaker 1: of things. I've never been there, Yeah, just kidding, No, 212 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,319 Speaker 1: I get it, okay. So the ego out of that 213 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: or the mail out of balance, energy is going to 214 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: the ego, the feminine is going to the emotional place. 215 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: That's really interesting. Yeah, the emotional pain of it, like there, 216 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: it's it's like when the feminineism in pain, it's like 217 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: a shrinking feeling. They go inward and they start to 218 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 1: feel like so deeply, and that's why it creates a 219 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: lot of problems because it's it creates this internal suffering 220 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 1: that they go and they go internally and they start 221 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,080 Speaker 1: shaming themselves internally. Like I feel like the feminine cares 222 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,200 Speaker 1: a lot of shame in their body. Where the mask 223 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 1: wing they get very heavy and they start beating themselves 224 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 1: down with their logic and then you know, telling all 225 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: these stories in their mind and they're just so overworked 226 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: and really just overthinking. Okay, So it's like it's like this, 227 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: it's almost like this it's it's like the masculine overthinks 228 00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:00,640 Speaker 1: and the feminine over feels like, yeah, exactly, mean what 229 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: is that if you do both? Is it an imbalance 230 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: and everything? It's just showing you your energetic imbalances, you know, 231 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: it's just showing you, like, for example, if you're always 232 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:15,160 Speaker 1: in your masculine energy planning and organizing and strategizing, problem solving, 233 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: which is all masculine things which have their benefit in 234 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: this life. But if you're always in that masculine and 235 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: you're never feeling the flow of your feminine essence, you're 236 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: missing out on so much because that's only fifty of it, right, 237 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: the mask on the feminine of this overall yin yang balance. Yeah, 238 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 1: and that's why I thought. I thought of you immediately 239 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: when I started diving into this male perspective from the 240 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,760 Speaker 1: patriarchy kind of thinking that I've been going through and 241 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: just realizing how I'm participating in that um. But also 242 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 1: like the masculine energy in general, you talk so much 243 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: about that being a part of all of us, and 244 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: we have masculine and feminine and finding the balance is 245 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 1: the goal, right, So can you talk a little bit 246 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: excuse me, can you talk a little bit about what 247 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,839 Speaker 1: it looks like to be fully embodied and like what 248 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: the goal would be to to um for a masculine 249 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 1: man to come into his consciousness. Mm hmm, this is 250 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:22,199 Speaker 1: a beautiful question. So I feel like balance to everyone 251 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 1: is going to feel a little bit different, you know. So, 252 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 1: Like I identify as a masculine core man, but I 253 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: also have feminine energy. So my focus and when I 254 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: feel most aligned is when I have clear direction, clear 255 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:42,320 Speaker 1: direction of my mission. That's when I feel like the best, right. 256 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,920 Speaker 1: So I've had to learn this as a masculine man. 257 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: When I'm not having clear direction and like my life 258 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:51,240 Speaker 1: is like disorganized, that will create what I feel like 259 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 1: stress in my body because my mask and essence wants 260 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: to have clarity of the direction that I'm going. Okay, 261 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: So for the feminine, what they want to feel is 262 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: a continuous flow of the love flowing through their body. 263 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,280 Speaker 1: And when that is imbalanced, when they're not feeling that 264 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:13,319 Speaker 1: flow of love and sensation and sensuality and radiance flowing 265 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 1: through their body, they start to feel imbalanced. And normally 266 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: that's when they're working too much. They're too much in 267 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,359 Speaker 1: their mind doing maskulin task and they're creating that imbalance, 268 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,800 Speaker 1: and the same thing can happened with men as well, 269 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,640 Speaker 1: when when we get so focused on the mission, we 270 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 1: become almost nearsighted, and we lose track of everything else 271 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:34,640 Speaker 1: in our life. We lose track of our intimate relationships, 272 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: our friendships, and even our physical health sometimes because we're 273 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: so focused on the accomplishment of making more money, having 274 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: more success, being more powerful. So that can be really 275 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: create huge imbalances within a man. I like that point 276 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: about getting near sighted because I've never been able to 277 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 1: verbalize that. But something that I maybe have as a 278 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: skill set is forced like I and maybe to a 279 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: fault sometimes, like I overthink to the end of the road, 280 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: you know, like let me think through every scenario that 281 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: could happen. And I've been in relationship dynamics where my 282 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: frustration with my male partner is he's only in the 283 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: moment and I feel forgotten almost in those moments. Does 284 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 1: that resonate We'll imagine it like a like a horse 285 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: with blinders on. So when the mask one gets super focused, 286 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 1: they like cut the world outside of them out. They're 287 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 1: just only focused on that one thing, which can be 288 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 1: very beneficial to get things done to complete the task, 289 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: to complete the mission. And but the thing is, though, 290 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: if they're always doing that, if he's always doing that, 291 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: it's like he can't see anything else around him. So 292 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: the feminine in his life, if there is a feminine 293 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: woman in his life, she starts to feel like not 294 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 1: like notice, she doesn't feel seen. And when a woman, 295 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: especially a feminine woman, doesn't feel seen like her radiance 296 00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: is being appreciated, then she starts to question the relationship. 297 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: And for an intimate relationship, that is so important to 298 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: a feminine person because the intimate relationship is like a 299 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: container of vessel of love and she wants to feel 300 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: that love in the relationship. So seeing her radiance allows 301 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,400 Speaker 1: her flower, what I call the flower of the feminine, 302 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: to really blossom and open. But if the man isn't 303 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: taking time to really penetrate her aura and help open 304 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 1: her flower, then she she's not going to deliver to 305 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,320 Speaker 1: the relationship the full radiance of her feminine essence. Okay, 306 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: so what could that look like? This is a little 307 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 1: off topic that I'm fascinated because this is something that 308 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I sit around and discuss. Even it's 309 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:48,760 Speaker 1: a very common Oh, I bet you do every aspect, 310 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,320 Speaker 1: We dissect every little bit. Yeah, but it's a it's 311 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 1: a frustrating thing. And it's also I could look at 312 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,280 Speaker 1: my friends partners, and I know my friends can look 313 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: at my partner and be like, no, he's so in 314 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,399 Speaker 1: love with you, And so it doesn't seem in line 315 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: with what our male counterparts are actually feeling, which is 316 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:15,240 Speaker 1: even more confusing. Right. So it's interesting because the way 317 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: that I would describe it is imagined that the feminine 318 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:23,160 Speaker 1: is like the garden of Life's like she is the 319 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: creation and she is the destroyer. And we would look 320 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,640 Speaker 1: at Mother Earth as the perfect example, right, because Mother 321 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: Earth is giving birth, but she's also taking life and 322 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: it's going back into the mother being reborn in the 323 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,840 Speaker 1: cycle of life and death. So the divine feminine is 324 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: ultimate creation and ultimate destruction of everything. So we are 325 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,160 Speaker 1: born into this world and we go back into this world. 326 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: It's a cycle. So the masculine, when the masculine is 327 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,639 Speaker 1: truly present and truly conscious with the feminine and the 328 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: feminine has to of course be open to this. And 329 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,879 Speaker 1: we can give the example of a feminine woman in 330 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: a mascul man, but it's not always a case it 331 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: could be a feminine man and a masculine woman. When 332 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 1: the feminine is open and receptive and not guarding herself 333 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: and he is consistent, the masculine is present and grounded, 334 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 1: he's able to enter that cosmic garden, that garden of life, 335 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: and in that garden of life is the most radiant nutrient, 336 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 1: healing energy. It's just so nourishing to the masculine core. 337 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 1: And it's it just it feels, it just feels like 338 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,439 Speaker 1: this beautiful almost like a roma. If you were to 339 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: walk into like a room and like your favorite candle 340 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: was burning, That's what the feminine feels like, the sweet aroma. 341 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,920 Speaker 1: It's just of the sensation of this love, of this radiance. 342 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 1: That's what the feminine really is. So when the masculine 343 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 1: is conscious, and in parallel to that, the feminine is open, 344 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,640 Speaker 1: because it doesn't matter how conscious he is. If she's closed, 345 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: he then can enter her garden, garden of life. We 346 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:09,440 Speaker 1: could call it. H Okay, as I'm listening to you talk, 347 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: the question that popped up is this why this is 348 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 1: so important to embody both energies within yourself because you know, 349 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: even as I'm listening, I hear what you're saying, but 350 00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 1: it's not fully resonating with me and how I feel 351 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 1: for in my masculine like I understand the feminine aspect. 352 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: You know, I've taken your quiz. I'm like very far 353 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: on the feminine scale. And so it's it's a learning 354 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: process for me to understand this masculine energy mindset, like 355 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,520 Speaker 1: it's just a foreign It feels like a foreign world 356 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: to me. So is that is that the reason why 357 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:50,080 Speaker 1: embodying it within ourselves become so important because without that, 358 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: I can't imagine being able to give that to my partner. 359 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 1: So it's this is where it gets kind of like 360 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 1: where we have to be aware of how we're delivering 361 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: this because what I would say is, yes, you have 362 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: mask on energy, but your core, like you just said, 363 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 1: is clearly feminine. So you're gonna feel most aligned when 364 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 1: you're in that feminine flow. But that doesn't mean you're 365 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: not gonna do masculine things, because I'm sure you're you're 366 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:16,879 Speaker 1: gonna do masculin things throughout your day. We live in 367 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 1: a very masculine driven world. But it's about having a 368 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 1: healthy balance with your mask on essence because if you 369 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 1: are over developing your mask on energy. Then you're going 370 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,879 Speaker 1: to start to put up like this masculine shield and 371 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 1: take on your own direction in life, and you'll be 372 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,520 Speaker 1: very focused on the masculine oriented things in your life. 373 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,840 Speaker 1: Which then if we look at the sexual polarity of things, 374 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship with a mascul in person, 375 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 1: you're both in your mask when you start to clash energetically, 376 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,639 Speaker 1: and you'll notice that there's no sexual polarity. And the 377 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 1: sexual polarity in a relationship is what creates that spark, 378 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: that arc of attraction that really brings the passion and 379 00:20:55,320 --> 00:21:01,239 Speaker 1: the excitement into the relationship. So for example, with my 380 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 1: fiance Melissa, she has a feminine, very feminine core as well, 381 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: but she also has mask and energy. I noticed that 382 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 1: when she's really in her mask and throughout the day working, working, working, 383 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: you can feel when I'm in my mask on and 384 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,520 Speaker 1: she's in her masculine that there's not a lot of 385 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: polarity in in our relationship in that moment. So what 386 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 1: happens with a lot of couples is they get stuck 387 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: in this masculine way of being and they killed the 388 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: polarity altogether over time, and they're like Why is there 389 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,720 Speaker 1: no more intimacy anymore? Why do we not feel that's 390 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: that beautiful sense of connection like we once felt. What 391 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: happened to the chemistry? What happened to the attraction? Like 392 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,920 Speaker 1: all these these words that you here get thrown around, 393 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,679 Speaker 1: which at the energetic component of it is the polarity. 394 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 1: You're losing polarity because you're both in the same energy. 395 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 1: And this could also work if you're both in the 396 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:53,440 Speaker 1: feminine as well. So that's why the first step here 397 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,200 Speaker 1: is to really understand how you are operating and how 398 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 1: you are showing up. If you are a feminine person, 399 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: are you showing up as playful and radiant and open 400 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 1: right to the mask one? And if you are a 401 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: mask one person, are you showing up as grounded in 402 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:12,919 Speaker 1: present and conscious and consistent with the feminine? Okay, that 403 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 1: helps a lot, actually, So going back to the old programming, 404 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: and because you know, I do think these things work 405 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: very hand in hand, and everything you're saying is like, oh, 406 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 1: this is beautiful and we as humans, I hope we 407 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,880 Speaker 1: all can live this way, you know, fully embodied. And 408 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:33,199 Speaker 1: I do feel like our culture is shifting and starting 409 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,040 Speaker 1: to recognize these things more. But it feels very new still, 410 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,400 Speaker 1: like I feel like we're like putting on our training wheels, 411 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,840 Speaker 1: you know, and kind of like, oh, I see this 412 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 1: thing and that's what's happening for me. Um. One of 413 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 1: the main things that I've personally been bumming up against is, uh, 414 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: you know, I've built a whole brand based on fashion 415 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 1: and like beauty and external beauty, and UM, a lot 416 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 1: of that can come with posting pictures where I feel 417 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: like I look good or you know, sex sexy and 418 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: all of these things. And you kind of mentioned like 419 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: in the masculine energy where that can go from looking 420 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: for the next best thing, And that's been something that 421 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 1: I've definitely realized really bothers me within men is like 422 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: not feeling safe or grounded or um, like they're constantly 423 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: looking at other women. And honestly, some of the old 424 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 1: programming to me is that that's okay, like boys will 425 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 1: be boys, all of those things. Do you have any 426 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: like insight into that? And then I want to also 427 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 1: speak to how we as women or maybe playing into 428 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:43,159 Speaker 1: that and disrespecting our own feminine essence. So what's what 429 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: exactly is your questionnaire? And sorry that was a long 430 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 1: ramble because like I'm still I'm still processing all of 431 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 1: this stuff myself, and so it's like I don't really 432 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,640 Speaker 1: even know sometimes what I want to ask other than 433 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,320 Speaker 1: to say, like, I have a real issue with this, 434 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: Like I have a real issue with the mentality of 435 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:04,120 Speaker 1: boys will be boys and men are just so sexually 436 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: driven that even if they're in a relationship that's okay, 437 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,560 Speaker 1: they're just gonna look, they're just gonna watch poor and 438 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,400 Speaker 1: they're just gonna you know, don't worry about it. They're 439 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: gonna flirt. But it doesn't mean anything, um in that 440 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:19,399 Speaker 1: old mindset, and I think it directly conflicts with what 441 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: you're saying A conscious man would be. Well, let me 442 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: ask you this, when did you stop trusting mask and Energy? Oh? God, 443 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: probably I don't if I ever have, I ever have 444 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: trusted it. I mean, it's super old for me. I 445 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: think it's been an inconsistent energy in my life as 446 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 1: long as I've lived. So if all you've ever known 447 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,440 Speaker 1: was to not trust mask and Energy, of course your 448 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: current story is going to be I don't trust it, right, 449 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: So do you see how you've adopted like this broken 450 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 1: template around. Well, I don't trust mask energy because it 451 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,879 Speaker 1: never supported me. It never made me feel safe, it 452 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: never protected me. And those are the things that the 453 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: mask energy does, the true mask energy, Right. So because 454 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,679 Speaker 1: you didn't feel those things, you started to over develop 455 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,640 Speaker 1: your own mask on energy and put up this maskin 456 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: shield to the world because I don't feel safe with 457 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,400 Speaker 1: my feminine so I'm gonna over develop my masculine shield 458 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: and hide out my feminine emotions. Mm hmmm, which keeps 459 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,879 Speaker 1: you stuck in this program in your mind, running, running, running, running, running, running, running, surviving. 460 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:33,359 Speaker 1: It's a survival mechanism. But what does that have to 461 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: do with the thing the issue I have with men 462 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 1: about this sexuality now, because you're not trusting the mask 463 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: in essence. M hm. So of course you're gonna have 464 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,479 Speaker 1: an issue with men because men, most men, are the 465 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 1: physical embodiment of mask on energy. Right. So that's manifesting 466 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,560 Speaker 1: mirroring back to you, like your lack of trust or 467 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: mask on energy. Okay, So it's like, imagine if I 468 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 1: offered you a stool to stand on, and you looked 469 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,359 Speaker 1: at the stool and you're like, yeah, it's a little 470 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 1: wild bullie. I'm not going to stand on that. I 471 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,600 Speaker 1: might I might bust my ass if I come over 472 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,440 Speaker 1: and stand on that stool, right, You're probably not gonna 473 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 1: stand on it. So instead you're like, yeah, I'll go 474 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: stand on my own stool. And your stool is the 475 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: mask on energy. You're standing on your own stool because 476 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,160 Speaker 1: you don't trust the mask on energy that's being presented 477 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 1: to you. And now that could be one of two things. 478 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: It could either be your own trauma that you're holding 479 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: onto or your intuition that's saying, you know, don't trust 480 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,200 Speaker 1: him because he's not aligned with you. He's not really 481 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: here to serve and protect and supporting those things. His 482 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: intentions aren't pure, And that could be your intuition speaking. 483 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 1: But a lot of times what's really speaking is your trauma, 484 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 1: is your pain around that m I mean, that would 485 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: make sense for the specific topic I just talked about too, 486 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: But I guess I hear you saying so often like 487 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 1: I know your journey, and you're like, yes, like I 488 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,359 Speaker 1: used to ping around to different girls and it's been 489 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: and you're now engaged, and that's been a big journey 490 00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: of your own embodiment into your own conscious masculine energy. Um, 491 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,560 Speaker 1: And I I think I work in a world probably 492 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: too that that isn't really fully embraced. And I'm the 493 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 1: country music industry know what I'm saying? What world is 494 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: the feminine fully embraced? Probably it's not right now? Right, 495 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 1: that's I don't know a single one. That's what we're taught. 496 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: That's the whole point of this exact topic. I guess, Yeah, 497 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,600 Speaker 1: that's true. Okay, So this is just it's part of 498 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 1: the conversation that needs to get started and definitely my 499 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:47,320 Speaker 1: own trauma. Let me ask you a question on a 500 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:49,320 Speaker 1: scale of one to ten, how much do you trust 501 00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:55,119 Speaker 1: mask on Energy? Like if it was a it's I 502 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:59,399 Speaker 1: was about to try to sidestuff that question. I don't 503 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,639 Speaker 1: that's probably they a really good point. So what's your answer? 504 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 1: Like a two? So, how are you going to trust 505 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: a man if you don't trust mask and Energy? Mm hmm, 506 00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 1: I guess I'm not. You won't fully open to something 507 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: you don't trust, right, Like if you were about to 508 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:23,520 Speaker 1: go skydiving. Ever been skydiving before? Okay, so imagine you 509 00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: were about to go skydivee because you've never been before. 510 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 1: I've been a couple of times. It's it's pretty awesome. 511 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: Imagine you're about to go skydiving, and before you were 512 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: going to jump by the plane, you look down at 513 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: your parachute and you saw a little tear in it, 514 00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, ship, what if this thing rips? 515 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 1: You're like, I'm not going I'm not jumping out. You 516 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 1: see what I'm saying, because there's no you're not trusting 517 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,520 Speaker 1: in that moment. So when the masculine comes into we're 518 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 1: giving you with this is the example right now we're 519 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: using Kelly is the example. When the masculine comes into 520 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: Kelly's life, her heart, which has been hurt and wounded, 521 00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 1: wants to open. It yearns to be held, to be of, 522 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,000 Speaker 1: to really be penetrated, wide open right. It wants to, 523 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 1: but it starts to see the mask of energy that's 524 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: always not made it feel safe, and as soon as 525 00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: it sees it, it starts to withdraw and close and 526 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:17,760 Speaker 1: it's not fully open. That just made me want to cry. 527 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 1: It's very true. So who specifically comes to mind when 528 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: you feel into that around what mask energy has hurt 529 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,280 Speaker 1: you and that you need to forgive and let go of. 530 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,000 Speaker 1: And when I say forgive, it's not this woo woo 531 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,280 Speaker 1: I forgive you thing because I had to do this 532 00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 1: with my father. And I did this internally. I did 533 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: years of forgiveness from my father. I never even had 534 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 1: a conversation with about it. But I remember the first 535 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: time that I sat down on my couch when I 536 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,960 Speaker 1: just started on my healing journey, and I heard this 537 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 1: word vulnerability, and what the hell is that word? Right? 538 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,360 Speaker 1: And I had this idea. I was like, you know, 539 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 1: I need to forgive my dad. I need to forgive 540 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: my dad for the pain that he put me through, 541 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,400 Speaker 1: you know, for the for him being a son of 542 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: a bit to me growing up. And it really hurt. 543 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: And I remember the tears were hitting the floor were 544 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: so loud they sounded like rocks being dropped on the ground. 545 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,400 Speaker 1: I was just holding onto so much anger towards my father, 546 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: and when I started to let that go, the weight 547 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:18,120 Speaker 1: started to come off. The shield started to be lowered, 548 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:20,800 Speaker 1: because I built these big walls around my heart, saying 549 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 1: you're not getting near me. It's always funny when you 550 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: crown up podcast because then you can't talk. I think 551 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 1: he made me cry last time too. I just had 552 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: an epiphany because I think that I've always um maybe shortsighted. 553 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: They put this onto an X where I got cheated 554 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: on really bad. But the masculine energy for me does 555 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: go back to my dad, who is also very different 556 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 1: now in our relationship is very different. But I'm not 557 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 1: sure he was a sturdy suppose work. I'm not I mean, 558 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,560 Speaker 1: I'm definitely not sure he was a sturdy support of 559 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: strength and consistency for my mom or my family when 560 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,479 Speaker 1: I was young. And so I think I had just 561 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: quickly latched onto um, you know, and my mom kind 562 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 1: of went into maybe masculine energy of taking care because 563 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 1: you have to, and so I think I latched onto 564 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 1: that as you can't trust it, it's faulty. In the 565 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 1: second I got cheated on royally, I think I started 566 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 1: tying all of that together, like and so that you're 567 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: right now when I see what I believe to be 568 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:44,000 Speaker 1: an inkling of that which oftentimes in my industry or 569 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:48,560 Speaker 1: relationships has come in around other women, UM yeah, I 570 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: have such anger. And the first thing that you invite 571 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: you to realize is that your father did the best 572 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: he could totally. He used the tools that he had 573 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: that he was get and and he was just passing 574 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,960 Speaker 1: those along. And my dad did the same thing. My 575 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: dad grew up dirt poor on a farm every single day, 576 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: fighting for survival, running from his father, running from his 577 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: brother that was trying to hurt him or kill him. 578 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,080 Speaker 1: So of course he's going to give that to me 579 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: because that's all he had. So I think the first 580 00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: step is like acceptance of realizing that we're not gonna 581 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,480 Speaker 1: blame them anymore and and not we're not gonna victimize ourselves. 582 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,360 Speaker 1: And that's what I had to learn. And that's a 583 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: very hard first step. And if you can make that 584 00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:34,120 Speaker 1: first step, you are in the right direction because that 585 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 1: first step of like, Okay, I'm ready to let this go. 586 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm ready to release this blockage that's been inside of 587 00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,280 Speaker 1: me forever and his hatred and his pain that I 588 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: hold onto towards my dad, and I'm ready to forgive that. 589 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: And when you let that go, when you start to 590 00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: let that go and unravel that, you'll notice your relationship 591 00:32:55,320 --> 00:33:01,560 Speaker 1: overall with men will improve. So how do we help 592 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:05,320 Speaker 1: each other do this? Because if we're looking at this 593 00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: on a bigger scale of you know, not just me 594 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 1: and my relationship with men, um, I think as our 595 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:18,400 Speaker 1: culture is going right now, it's a very prevalent mindset 596 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 1: to you know, especially with women. I think a lot 597 00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:25,200 Speaker 1: of women are really angry at men or we're taking 598 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:29,640 Speaker 1: it out on men, and I'm seeing um, some you know, 599 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 1: men come out and say things like what you're saying 600 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 1: and this embodiment practice. But how can we help support 601 00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:39,400 Speaker 1: each other through this journey? Because I, as you saw 602 00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: just when I was trying to ask a question, can 603 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: barely even formulate my thoughts on it yet, and I 604 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,560 Speaker 1: think a lot of people are coming from that place. 605 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: So how do we navigate it wobbly together? Mm hmm? 606 00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: By navigating it within yourself first, okay, Because you can 607 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,560 Speaker 1: only show up in this world as much as you've 608 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:02,320 Speaker 1: shown up for yourself, and you can only give to 609 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,400 Speaker 1: others what you've given to yourself, and you can only 610 00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: feel and relate what you've related to within yourself. You're 611 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: only meeting people at the depth you've met yourself. So 612 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:19,399 Speaker 1: by you doing this, even having this conversation, is activating 613 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,440 Speaker 1: things within you, which is activating things within people all 614 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: around the world. And that's the beauty of it. So 615 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:31,000 Speaker 1: healing yourself actually has a ripple effect on this entire world, 616 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,120 Speaker 1: because the next conversation you have with somebody, you might 617 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 1: feel a little more free, you might be able to 618 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: help somebody else. And that's how the world works. And 619 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:43,400 Speaker 1: and I believe that spirit is always working through us 620 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: for us to further awaken so we can get free, 621 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:49,200 Speaker 1: free of our ego stuff, free of our suffering, free 622 00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:52,600 Speaker 1: of our our longing, because that's really what it is. 623 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: It comes down to just our our hearts longing to 624 00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:00,000 Speaker 1: feel love, to feel connected to another person, to feel 625 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,279 Speaker 1: connected to ourselves. But if we're holding on to so 626 00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:07,680 Speaker 1: much anger and shame and sadness in our bodies, we 627 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,359 Speaker 1: don't ever feel that love. We bury it deep down 628 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: inside of ourselves. What would you say to any of 629 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,520 Speaker 1: the men listening right now, um, who may identify with 630 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: what you just said, like the anger and the burying. 631 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 1: What is the first step? Because, as you mentioned earlier, 632 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 1: men aren't are weren't I'm hoping this is shifting, but 633 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,360 Speaker 1: weren't taught that it's okay to process through emotions or 634 00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: to feel all of these things that we're mentioning. So 635 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,239 Speaker 1: what would be a first step? Where can they even go? 636 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: Mm hmmm within? That's the first place to go, within 637 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:55,719 Speaker 1: yourself and ask yourself what pain am I holding onto in? 638 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:59,440 Speaker 1: This moment that easy to be let go of what 639 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,400 Speaker 1: anger or am I holding onto? Why am I angry? 640 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,799 Speaker 1: And to really do some self reflection and to sit 641 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,720 Speaker 1: with that and allow yourself to feel your anger, allow 642 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 1: yourself to feel your sadness, your rage, whatever it is. 643 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 1: Let yourself feel that, maybe for the very first time 644 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,919 Speaker 1: in your life in a healthy way. I'm gonna give 645 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,880 Speaker 1: myself permission to feel the ship I've been holding onto, 646 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:30,280 Speaker 1: because to me, it takes a man to feel his feelings. 647 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 1: It takes a man to cry, and we've been taught 648 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:39,359 Speaker 1: the opposite of that. And I love the idea of 649 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:45,239 Speaker 1: crying like a man. Ah, that's good and like that 650 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: even brings tears to my eyes just saying that. And 651 00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 1: something that I had to learn to do was like 652 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:52,279 Speaker 1: to not have shame around my emotions, to not have 653 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,400 Speaker 1: fear around someone judging me for crying, and to feel 654 00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,560 Speaker 1: my hurt, to feel my pain mm hmm, and eyes 655 00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: so deeply longed for the longest time, to feel love, 656 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:09,960 Speaker 1: to feel that sense of just life force energy flowing 657 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 1: through my body. But we don't feel that when we're 658 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,160 Speaker 1: in our egos chasing the next best thing. Shiny objects 659 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:22,719 Speaker 1: syndrome flying around like Peter Pan. That's not how we 660 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:27,640 Speaker 1: serve this world, And especially for a masculine man, he 661 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,400 Speaker 1: yearns to have a deep mission to be of service, 662 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,080 Speaker 1: to do something greater than just make a bunch of 663 00:37:33,080 --> 00:37:38,000 Speaker 1: money and stroke his ego. And that service comes through 664 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,800 Speaker 1: the healing of yourself, because the more that you heal yourself, 665 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,880 Speaker 1: the more you can show up better for those around you, 666 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:46,760 Speaker 1: that in your life that you love and care about. 667 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 1: So it's letting go of the shame around that first, too, 668 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 1: I hear. Yeah, that's a big part of it, is 669 00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:58,799 Speaker 1: the shame you have around your emotions, to to not 670 00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,360 Speaker 1: be weak or not feel your emotions, any of this stuff. 671 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 1: It's it's all. It's all bullshit, it really is, because 672 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:13,880 Speaker 1: that's the repression of the feminine essence. Mm hmmm mm hmm. Also, 673 00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:18,720 Speaker 1: the asking for help peace, I've noticed amongst my male 674 00:38:19,320 --> 00:38:23,520 Speaker 1: friends or boyfriends or whatever in the past seems harder 675 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:25,239 Speaker 1: and the male energy. I think it's that thing like 676 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,040 Speaker 1: you're just supposed to know how to do it right, 677 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: and it's like, of course you don't know how to 678 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 1: do it. Um, you were never taught, And that's sort 679 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,799 Speaker 1: of what you were saying about our dads. They did 680 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 1: the best they could. We all are We're just doing 681 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 1: the best we could with what we have at the time. 682 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,600 Speaker 1: And so how do you ask for help as a 683 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:46,160 Speaker 1: male and not feel embarrassed? Yeah, it really does take 684 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 1: strength and courage to either ask reach out to someone 685 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:53,720 Speaker 1: that you trust, to just talk to to just process. 686 00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:57,280 Speaker 1: But what I've learned we as men were interesting creatures 687 00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:01,080 Speaker 1: because the feminine wants to express, like, you know, sit 688 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,840 Speaker 1: around in a group full of women and want to 689 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,919 Speaker 1: talk about all their feelings right where the masculine we're 690 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 1: not really so much like that. Sometimes we're more of like, 691 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,799 Speaker 1: send me into the mountains, let me feel my ship 692 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,400 Speaker 1: kind of person, let me be alone, let me feel 693 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,799 Speaker 1: my stuff. Like That's what I did when I went 694 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:21,680 Speaker 1: through a really bad breakup. I moved into the mountains 695 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 1: of California all by myself, and every single day I 696 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,920 Speaker 1: would go into nature and I would walk, I would talk, 697 00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,600 Speaker 1: I would scream and yell and cry and just let 698 00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:32,560 Speaker 1: out all this stuff that I was holding onto in 699 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,520 Speaker 1: the middle of the freaking mountains all by myself. So 700 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,240 Speaker 1: I went through this integration process for about six months 701 00:39:39,239 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 1: six months, and I believe I had done healing work 702 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 1: up to that point too, So this was many years 703 00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:50,799 Speaker 1: of just accumulating, letting go, letting go, letting go. And 704 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 1: after I got through that journey, that's actually when I 705 00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,720 Speaker 1: met my now fiance Melissa. Because I had been holding 706 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 1: on to so much stuff. It was almost like I 707 00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: was blocking the love that is I to really come 708 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:05,120 Speaker 1: into my life. So people they want to they want 709 00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:08,680 Speaker 1: a loving relationship, they want to have a committed, beautiful relationship. 710 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 1: But like, if you're holding onto stuff that blocks that, 711 00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 1: it's not going to manifest in your life. It's just 712 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 1: it can't happen. There's no space for it. There's no 713 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: room for it. You know, if your truck is already 714 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,799 Speaker 1: filled with people, you can't offend any more people in 715 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 1: your truck, like when you're so it's like about letting 716 00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:28,600 Speaker 1: go of the things that no longer serve you, and 717 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 1: those old stories as old programs, but something that really 718 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,719 Speaker 1: worked well for me. I developed this mantra, which was 719 00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 1: I give myself permission to feel my pain. And I 720 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,600 Speaker 1: would walk and I would literally just start saying it 721 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,799 Speaker 1: because I couldn't feel for the longest time, I couldn't cry. 722 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,320 Speaker 1: I couldn't feel anything. I was just totally shut down, numb, 723 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,000 Speaker 1: but I just kept saying it, saying it, saying it, 724 00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:50,239 Speaker 1: and eventually my body started to recognize it, like it's 725 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:53,880 Speaker 1: okay to feel this ship. And eventually my body started 726 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 1: to like unravel the pain that I was holding onto 727 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,759 Speaker 1: my body. So it's like, okay, it's safe now to 728 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,440 Speaker 1: let this go. Because the ego will hold on to 729 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:08,400 Speaker 1: whatever it can if it feels comfortable. So the problem 730 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,279 Speaker 1: with that is we hold onto these old stories that 731 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,160 Speaker 1: feel familiar. But a lot of times those old stories 732 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,200 Speaker 1: don't don't serve us, not not one damn bit, not 733 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:22,240 Speaker 1: one damn bit. Wal They complicate everything, sabotage every because 734 00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:26,799 Speaker 1: it's conflicting. It's conflicting with what you really want. You 735 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,160 Speaker 1: want this beautiful, loving relationship, but you don't even have 736 00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: one of those with yourself. I'm not saying you, but like, 737 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:40,600 Speaker 1: I mean, yes, God, that's good. I'm like digesting all 738 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:42,880 Speaker 1: of this. You are a true healer. I so appreciate 739 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,720 Speaker 1: you being here today. This was hopefully helpful to you. Guys. 740 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,600 Speaker 1: I know this is a topic that I'm just now 741 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:51,200 Speaker 1: beginning to dive into, so I'm sure I will be 742 00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:55,839 Speaker 1: discussing it multiple times on this podcast. Jake back, Um, 743 00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,239 Speaker 1: but I think we might have to do the next 744 00:41:57,239 --> 00:41:59,800 Speaker 1: one in person when I come down to Nashville. Okay, 745 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 1: So tell the people. You have an amazing podcast, which 746 00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,319 Speaker 1: is actually how I initially found you, because I'm a 747 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,200 Speaker 1: huge fan of this podcast. It's called The Awake with 748 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,640 Speaker 1: Jake Show. Talk everyone through kind of some of the 749 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,440 Speaker 1: work that you're doing on your podcast. Yeah, so it's 750 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,279 Speaker 1: it's The Awake with Jake Show. And I have these 751 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,480 Speaker 1: conversations a lot on there, and that's really a couple 752 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:21,320 Speaker 1: hundred episodes, like two hundred plus episodes, and it's really 753 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:24,520 Speaker 1: just another platform to spread spread my truth and what 754 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,160 Speaker 1: I feel like it's truth and wisdom with the world 755 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,959 Speaker 1: and I'm just really sharing from my experiences. That's really 756 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,840 Speaker 1: what's about to help people, to help people free themselves 757 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:37,880 Speaker 1: of the toxic patterns and the ego stuff that we 758 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,279 Speaker 1: hold onto. And we just we haven't mentioned Melissa a 759 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:44,040 Speaker 1: couple of times. Jake just got engaged and Melissa also 760 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,880 Speaker 1: does really beautiful work around the feminine aspects. Kind of 761 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 1: you guys are kind of yeting yang in your work, 762 00:42:49,719 --> 00:42:52,360 Speaker 1: even with different things you're bringing to people, So you 763 00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:55,520 Speaker 1: guys check out both of them. Um, it's been amazing. 764 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,839 Speaker 1: They're amazing accounts to follow on Instagram. When you tell 765 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,080 Speaker 1: the people what your Instagram account is, it's underscore. Jake 766 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,279 Speaker 1: woded w O O D A R D. Yeah, I 767 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:07,400 Speaker 1: try to post frequently on Instagram. Yeah, you're good, and 768 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,480 Speaker 1: you're really good with the question answer things. I know 769 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,239 Speaker 1: a lot of people. Probably I love them because I 770 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,760 Speaker 1: know everyone has a lot of questions, and I also 771 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:17,960 Speaker 1: am thinking half of the things people ask you most 772 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,440 Speaker 1: of the time. So I'm like, yes, I feel like 773 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:21,399 Speaker 1: I feel like you have one more question. Now there's 774 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 1: something that I could feel intuitively that you had something 775 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 1: else that you wanted to ask me. Yeah, there was 776 00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,359 Speaker 1: one more thing. I could feel it. And if it's 777 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:35,920 Speaker 1: something personal, please do your listeners a service. Um, when 778 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,799 Speaker 1: when when did you feel that? Because I'm trying to 779 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:41,640 Speaker 1: remember exactly what it might have been. I'm sure I 780 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:43,680 Speaker 1: could talk with you about this all day. So this 781 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 1: is like, I just I think what I mostly what 782 00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,440 Speaker 1: was really helpful to me to hear you say was 783 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:54,040 Speaker 1: kind of looking into my past wounds as far as 784 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,120 Speaker 1: even we're still my understanding of my own self within 785 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,759 Speaker 1: this system is being blocked because of old mindsets that 786 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,840 Speaker 1: came from relationships that I was a child, and that 787 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,840 Speaker 1: the relationship have even changed, you know, but maybe I 788 00:44:09,880 --> 00:44:12,839 Speaker 1: haven't let go of some of the old dynamics and 789 00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:17,040 Speaker 1: I believe those still to be true. You know. It's 790 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,880 Speaker 1: interesting something that I observed, if I can share this 791 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:24,480 Speaker 1: with you, is up until that point, your energy was different. 792 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 1: And like after we talked about that, and like you 793 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: started to tear up and let that go, your aura 794 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 1: and your energy literally started to like shift in open. 795 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,520 Speaker 1: So that just shows right there, like you're like you're 796 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,600 Speaker 1: sitting there smiling right now, you know what I mean. 797 00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 1: So like because and your your overall openness, like your 798 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,960 Speaker 1: body has soften, your energy is open. Like even just 799 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:47,319 Speaker 1: the texture in the way that you're looking right now, 800 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,520 Speaker 1: it was just like everything is so much more open 801 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:53,720 Speaker 1: and radiant because you're not holding onto those blockages. Yeah, 802 00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:57,720 Speaker 1: that's so. I feel that, especially because I've really bumped 803 00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: up against the old wounds the past three days and 804 00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:05,879 Speaker 1: so um, my anxiety has just been overwhelming and sort 805 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 1: of what you describe the feminine energy as as being 806 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,000 Speaker 1: all over the place in such big feelings, and when 807 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:14,240 Speaker 1: I get in that place, I can't really get myself 808 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:18,040 Speaker 1: out of it. Even sometimes it takes exactly what happened 809 00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:22,879 Speaker 1: here where I'm identifying something to release well, because there's 810 00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:27,680 Speaker 1: there's structure, right, You're being guided into feeling this feeling 811 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:31,399 Speaker 1: right through the questions I was questions. I was asking you, 812 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,759 Speaker 1: which is the structure giving you the support to feel that, 813 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,200 Speaker 1: to release it and let it go. Sometimes it's very 814 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,399 Speaker 1: hard to navigate those waters on our own. We need 815 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:41,879 Speaker 1: like a tour guide if we can. That's a good 816 00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 1: way to say it, like you were my tour guide 817 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: for that really, and also the safety you gave me, 818 00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 1: the safety to release it, which is a beautiful thing. 819 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:55,640 Speaker 1: And now I can go cry more about it. All 820 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,200 Speaker 1: I did was all I did was show you the 821 00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 1: door you chose to walk through it and your brave beauty, 822 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,600 Speaker 1: a full soul. And I'm honored to be on this 823 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,839 Speaker 1: podcast with you, and I'm so grateful for the work 824 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,680 Speaker 1: that you're doing in the world and continue to do 825 00:46:07,000 --> 00:46:08,800 Speaker 1: because a lot of people fall off with this stuff 826 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,719 Speaker 1: and you're still at it, and I'm really proud of you. 827 00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,040 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Thank you 828 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,080 Speaker 1: for being here. I'm sure we'll have you back in 829 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:19,960 Speaker 1: person next time. Like we said, that's right. Thank you 830 00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:22,080 Speaker 1: guys so much for listening. Go check Jake out. I'll 831 00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,759 Speaker 1: put all of his details in the description of this podcast, 832 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,919 Speaker 1: and you guys have a great rest of your week. 833 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:30,320 Speaker 1: Thanks Jake so much. Thank you, Kelly. Thanks for listening 834 00:46:30,320 --> 00:46:33,080 Speaker 1: to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, where we 835 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,839 Speaker 1: believe everyone has a little velvet and a little edge. 836 00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,440 Speaker 1: Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty and relationships. 837 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:44,480 Speaker 1: Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts. Ye