WEBVTT - EP 355: Open & Closed Relationships

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what decision We're about to make. Horrible decision.

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<v Speaker 2>We bike at it it yee y'all, welcome to another

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<v Speaker 2>episode of.

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<v Speaker 1>Decision. Hey, y'all, mi'sy.

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<v Speaker 2>Girl man dB ak a Bay the Stallion aka book

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<v Speaker 2>or pus aka Dan Beach.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm weazy and we are in la We just are

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<v Speaker 1>on the back. What do you say that? On the

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<v Speaker 1>heels of Baby and Awards, we were nominated for Best Podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>We didn't win it, but if you saw us, clearly

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<v Speaker 1>we looked like winners. Hello, and wanted y'all to know

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<v Speaker 1>if you live in London on May fifth, we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be there at the Earth Theater. It's our rescheduled climax

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<v Speaker 1>to a date that's right in CS. It's a brand

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<v Speaker 1>new show.

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<v Speaker 2>So make sure you go on over to whorehive dot

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<v Speaker 2>com to get your tickets for London. And I guess

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<v Speaker 2>I figured we would just start with a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>of catch up of where we're at in our love

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<v Speaker 2>lives and things. If you guys are on Patreon, Weezy

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<v Speaker 2>came to Vegas with her little boo thing and we

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<v Speaker 2>all go together. I realized that not only is this

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<v Speaker 2>healing journey and therapy making it hard for me to

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<v Speaker 2>motherfucking date. You know what else, I realized my friends

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<v Speaker 2>being so fucking awesome is also like, so hear me out.

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<v Speaker 2>We were at dinner, and what I keep saying I

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<v Speaker 2>want is I would love a partner who's able to

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<v Speaker 2>hop on a plane and meet me in some of

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<v Speaker 2>the cities because I'm touring with Tonight's Conversations, I'm on

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<v Speaker 2>tour till June.

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<v Speaker 1>We just did the ABN in Vegas.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm here in LA for work. I would love a

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<v Speaker 2>partner who could like pull up on me. I love

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<v Speaker 2>hotel sex. I've been saying it. Yeah, So I would

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<v Speaker 2>like someone to just be able to travel and be

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<v Speaker 2>around and kind of support me in the things that

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<v Speaker 2>I do business wise, And I realized why are where

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<v Speaker 2>people are like.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's a lot to ask My friends do it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think asking someone to show up for you

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<v Speaker 1>at well, no, it's.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot to ask for If hear me out for

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<v Speaker 2>a man with a regular job, My life is not regular.

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<v Speaker 2>So if I meet someone who's not a celebrity or

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<v Speaker 2>even y'all know, I'd be dating ball players and the

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<v Speaker 2>guys that I fuck with. It's a lot to ask

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<v Speaker 2>for because people have their own lives. However, my friends

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<v Speaker 2>have also found a way to pull up on me

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<v Speaker 2>in any seat. They're actually asking me, bitch, sim of

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<v Speaker 2>your tour dates, which ones can I come to? And

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<v Speaker 2>so having like friends that are wanting to be a

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<v Speaker 2>part of this with me and wanting to travel and

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<v Speaker 2>make plans and create experiences, I realize this is something

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<v Speaker 2>I want from a partner, and it's something I haven't

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<v Speaker 2>been able to get. It's something that with the type

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<v Speaker 2>of men I like to date, they don't have the

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<v Speaker 2>time to do. So it's like, damn, I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if I guess I'm just to a place where I'm

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<v Speaker 2>starting to think that the things that I want are

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<v Speaker 2>going to be hard to come by. But also I'm

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<v Speaker 2>finding so much happiness in my friendships that I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>like and what I need in a go para.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I've been happy with my friends for

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<v Speaker 1>a long time. You have too, We've always had great friends,

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<v Speaker 1>travel and do shit with that shit. Do not keep

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<v Speaker 1>me for looking for Nichols. I don't know what it

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<v Speaker 1>is for me right now. I don't know, but I

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<v Speaker 1>mean I think that maybe because you've gotten to fill

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<v Speaker 1>your schedule with dates with friends, vacations with friends. That's

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<v Speaker 1>probably it, right, like being able to have something in

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<v Speaker 1>a docade to where you get to have a new experience.

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<v Speaker 1>And yes I did bring him last year. You brought

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<v Speaker 1>your boot. I brought my ex lush and so I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't get to spend time with him, but it was cool.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually enjoyed all of us hanging out together. And

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<v Speaker 1>I recently had a conversation with name drop time so Questlove,

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<v Speaker 1>who is in his fifties and you know, has been

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<v Speaker 1>famous his whole life. Obviously I'm not roots level famous,

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<v Speaker 1>but he went to dinner with him with me and

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<v Speaker 1>he said something to me that I really appreciated. He's like, Yo,

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<v Speaker 1>it's really nice to see you with a very confident

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<v Speaker 1>and secure guy, because, like you know, being a plus

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<v Speaker 1>one is not everybody's security. Nope, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 1>Like it. He's a man being a plus one to

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<v Speaker 1>a woman like you, Like, it's good to see that.

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<v Speaker 1>He's just like and it's funny because he called him

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<v Speaker 1>a civilian to his face. He's like, you know, when

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<v Speaker 1>we ate civilians, my dad is hilarious.

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<v Speaker 2>But also military people use civilians, I know, but that's funny.

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<v Speaker 1>But it was funny to hear him say it, and

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<v Speaker 1>I remember we got in a car. He was like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think I've ever had somebody called me a civilian.

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<v Speaker 1>But that's funny. Yo, I mean what you just said

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<v Speaker 1>though about time. He is an investor, so it's like

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<v Speaker 1>he dictates his own schedule. But yeah, I mean you're right. Like,

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<v Speaker 1>even though I think the b Simone clip, we jumped

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<v Speaker 1>up her ass and we always one of those people.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't do it online because I fucked with being Simone,

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<v Speaker 1>But I remember being like, why would she say that?

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<v Speaker 1>But I kind of if she meant the flexibility and

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<v Speaker 1>an entrepreneurial thing, I do understand that because it's been helpful.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the flexibility. My ex did have a nine to

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<v Speaker 1>five though, but he just uh was more up to

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<v Speaker 1>change to where he could be remote. But yeah, I

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<v Speaker 1>mean it's super important when you want to travel with

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<v Speaker 1>the person you're dating. But it was fun Like, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>he's been around two for our shows, so I do

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<v Speaker 1>like that I can bring him to work events and

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<v Speaker 1>he fits.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I like, I think that that's a great

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<v Speaker 2>thing to have, especially like in this space.

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<v Speaker 1>I remember when I did Revolt Summit and he.

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<v Speaker 2>Joined me down there, and literally it became an argument

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<v Speaker 2>in air quotes that literally as soon as we got back,

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<v Speaker 2>because I realized just how comfortable he was in spaces

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<v Speaker 2>where men made more money than him. He was jealous

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<v Speaker 2>of or I don't even want to say jealous, but

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<v Speaker 2>he was uncomfortable and showed insecurity around young Berg hit Maker,

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<v Speaker 2>who's been my friends since I was fucking eighteen.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry name dropped to.

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<v Speaker 2>My guess, and then oddly enough Yo, I made the

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<v Speaker 2>joke that he was jealous of, and he admitted to

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<v Speaker 2>being jealous of Asante.

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<v Speaker 1>He was insecure around Jason Lee, and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what is up with you being intimidated or insecure around

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<v Speaker 1>these men who are gay? I don't understand now I'm

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<v Speaker 1>doing to think it was money. No, it because handsome people.

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<v Speaker 1>For sure, it was a money thing, and he was

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<v Speaker 1>very handsome.

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<v Speaker 2>But even making the money he made in retirement was

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<v Speaker 2>not close at all to like being around celebrities.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just it's not the same, it's not comparable.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care if a man makes one hundred thousand dollars,

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<v Speaker 2>if you bring him around niggas who make millions.

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<v Speaker 1>They're an insecure A millionaire might feel into uncomfortable right

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<v Speaker 1>a millionaires. But yeah, we did talk about it too,

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<v Speaker 1>because while we were at the Avians, there were moments

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<v Speaker 1>where I went to the bathroom he was with Mandy,

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<v Speaker 1>or we were separated, and uh I was getting a

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<v Speaker 1>nigga's number or their Instagram. I can't remember because I

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<v Speaker 1>want to interview him. I remember one guy was all fondoles.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw four I know he DM me and he

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't know, but there was a few people.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'd love to have you on Horrible,

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<v Speaker 1>and there wasn't. I don't know. He's very secure in

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<v Speaker 1>like who he is. But I also think that we're

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<v Speaker 1>having a lot of dialogue about respect, which I think

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<v Speaker 1>anybody listening, obviously Mandy are talking about industry shits. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to make you feel left out, but I

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<v Speaker 1>do think that there's conversations about respect that I've never had,

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<v Speaker 1>that people need to have because my exit made me

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<v Speaker 1>feel very uncomfortable. I remember taking him to Andrew Schultz's

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<v Speaker 1>show at town Hall and Akasha's wife, who's beautiful, we

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<v Speaker 1>had her on. He was like talking to her a

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<v Speaker 1>little too long and like flirting with her. And I

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<v Speaker 1>remember Alex and I did I ever tell the story? No,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't. I don't think you Okay, Well I probably

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<v Speaker 1>didn't tell her at the time because it was a

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<v Speaker 1>lot you know what I'm saying, and it was kind

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<v Speaker 1>of embarrassing but fun. So took him a town Hall

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<v Speaker 1>show starting with another man's girlfriend. Oh yeah, what's what's

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<v Speaker 1>the tea? So took him to the town Hall Show,

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<v Speaker 1>which is so crazy theater because such a big deal

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<v Speaker 1>for Andrew. And I texted Andrew the day we did

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<v Speaker 1>our sho. I was like, man, I remember being here

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<v Speaker 1>and you were excited to be at the town Hall

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<v Speaker 1>Theater and now I'm sold out. But now he's sold

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<v Speaker 1>out Arena's MSG multiple dates, Like MSG is coming next

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<v Speaker 1>for us too, So basically, uh, he gets there, he

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<v Speaker 1>gets lit. Now My ex was a very friendly and

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<v Speaker 1>fun nigga. So I was just very confused on how

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<v Speaker 1>to You don't want to make someone who's extroverted feel stifled,

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<v Speaker 1>right because men have probably done that to you, just

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<v Speaker 1>like absolutely and I felt that too. They have. So

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<v Speaker 1>we get to the after party Fandrews Show and Occacio's

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<v Speaker 1>wife is there and he's flirting with her, and Alex

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<v Speaker 1>literally was like, bro, do you see this, nigga? How

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<v Speaker 1>do you determine flirt?

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<v Speaker 2>Flirt over just having a friendly conversation talking about their.

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<v Speaker 1>Beauty to them? Okay, how beautiful? She was, asking what

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<v Speaker 1>she likes to do for fun on the weekend or something.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, maybe not that, but there was something about

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<v Speaker 1>I guess his attractiveness towards her or leaning into her

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<v Speaker 1>or whatever that made her uncomfortable to the when where

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<v Speaker 1>she said something and how embarrassing for me. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if she directly said something or someone else did that.

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<v Speaker 1>People were like, who's this dude? And of course he's not.

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<v Speaker 1>It is Andrew's section, right, who's this dude? And then

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<v Speaker 1>you gotta says, Wheezy's man, how fucking embarrassing. And what's

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<v Speaker 1>even more, we're embarrassing is the first time I heard

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<v Speaker 1>I love you from my ex was that night I

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<v Speaker 1>walked out of the bar. Was it floor room or

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<v Speaker 1>something or I don't know what it's called, but anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>basically I left and I was like, you're disrespectful, You're

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<v Speaker 1>an embarrassment to me, and it's clear that like this

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<v Speaker 1>isn't gonna work, and he was like, yo, you just

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<v Speaker 1>made me feel so comfortable to be free and open.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry. I love you. And so it was

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<v Speaker 1>so manipulative, right because you were upset on the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>But then also I guess I hear that that and

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<v Speaker 2>now he's using in the cavea.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, and I realized like, oh, like some niggas really

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<v Speaker 1>just have it or they don't. Mandy and I went

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<v Speaker 1>to the bathroom and Madreid Nigga was talking to one

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<v Speaker 1>of her friends. So the next day we're talking about,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you talk about the night and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>who do you think was the cutest? And he was like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought, And there was a girl he was talking to.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know her name, not Stacy, not be oh Melanie.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like, yeah, she's really beautiful. And you know,

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<v Speaker 1>everybody has a type. And so I was like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to say this to you. I agree, like

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<v Speaker 1>I knew that was probably your type, right, skin whatever,

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<v Speaker 1>very like natural looking. And I said, I really don't

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<v Speaker 1>feel like you will disrespect me. I hope I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>going to embarrass myself one day, but I'm so impressed

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<v Speaker 1>by how easy it is to turn my back and

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't felt that in a long time. And we've

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<v Speaker 1>had so much conversation about that, you know, like what

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<v Speaker 1>would make me feel insecure? What I don't like? How

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<v Speaker 1>far you can go? And I need to do that

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<v Speaker 1>in every relationship, and I think you and I are

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<v Speaker 1>learning to do that with each other too. Hey, I

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<v Speaker 1>need you to let me do this or do that,

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<v Speaker 1>or I don't like when you talk to me like this.

0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:35.000
<v Speaker 1>This across the board needs to be a thing. I

0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.000
<v Speaker 1>need to tell people how I feel respected. And you

0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:38.680
<v Speaker 1>use that word with me in a text the other day,

0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.559
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, oh, I didn't know you felt

0:10:40.559 --> 0:10:43.319
<v Speaker 1>disrespected by this small thing, and you probably knew. I

0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't know I was doing that, But using words like

0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.920
<v Speaker 1>that really makes an impact. Girl. I brought that text

0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:51.440
<v Speaker 1>message up in therapy. I was like, can you believe

0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.040
<v Speaker 1>how well like it was just sitting with me and

0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.120
<v Speaker 1>we had four episodes. Let's read it, let's read it,

0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:58.800
<v Speaker 1>let's read Okay, day not as telling y'all tea on

0:10:58.840 --> 0:11:02.440
<v Speaker 1>a regular episode. I'll read your text to me and

0:11:02.480 --> 0:11:05.040
<v Speaker 1>you read mine back. Okay, because so Mandy texted me

0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:08.600
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to have a guest on that I thought

0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.720
<v Speaker 1>was kind of whack, but she looked, let me hold on,

0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.080
<v Speaker 1>let me go back. I know, damn, we we were

0:11:13.200 --> 0:11:14.800
<v Speaker 1>we would take We've been taking a little lot. Oh

0:11:14.880 --> 0:11:17.960
<v Speaker 1>I found it hop row So I found these guests

0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.280
<v Speaker 1>who was on botched and I was like, damn, I

0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:21.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of want to ring around. But she don't be born.

0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:23.480
<v Speaker 1>After twenty minutes, man, He's like, oh wait, no, this

0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:28.760
<v Speaker 1>came after you uh talking about the escape room? No, no,

0:11:28.760 --> 0:11:31.400
<v Speaker 1>I know. Oh, okay, okay, so Mandy said, my ears hurt.

0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.680
<v Speaker 1>This question, won't be talking. Oh so, I said, you know,

0:11:34.120 --> 0:11:35.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm not in the mood to try it this week,

0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:37.240
<v Speaker 1>but I'd be down to have guests on for just

0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:39.160
<v Speaker 1>thirty minutes. Maybe we just invite them to sit with

0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:41.120
<v Speaker 1>us for the horrible decision. It could be cool, and

0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.400
<v Speaker 1>maybe we end the wholemail alone. She says to me,

0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:47.360
<v Speaker 1>I'd really like to go by our outlines this week.

0:11:47.360 --> 0:11:49.000
<v Speaker 1>I spent a lot of time working on them, and

0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:50.800
<v Speaker 1>the free flow we've done in the past doesn't work

0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:53.160
<v Speaker 1>for me. In the past four episodes, it literally spins

0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:55.560
<v Speaker 1>my brain, and I'd like for my time to be respected.

0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:57.559
<v Speaker 1>I would also love your outline sooner so I can

0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:00.240
<v Speaker 1>add to them and be better prepared for guests. And

0:12:00.280 --> 0:12:02.679
<v Speaker 1>Weezy's response was, I understand.

0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure how you feel disrespected on time exactly,

0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:07.880
<v Speaker 2>but I'm willing to listen. But you should know I'm

0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.320
<v Speaker 2>not trying to disrespect you while we're podcasting or interviewing

0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.000
<v Speaker 2>a guest if if I'm not asking outline questions, but

0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.320
<v Speaker 2>I'll try to be mindful that you want segments done.

0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:21.440
<v Speaker 2>And it's really like to me where even the disrespect

0:12:21.480 --> 0:12:24.120
<v Speaker 2>And again, y'all know how anal I am with time,

0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:26.960
<v Speaker 2>So to me, the disrespect wasn't that I felt like

0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:30.600
<v Speaker 2>you were intentionally disrespecting me. I just felt like my

0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.680
<v Speaker 2>time was being disrespected because I'm working on I'm working

0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:35.880
<v Speaker 2>on an outline and then I would love to look

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:37.680
<v Speaker 2>over yours and I'm not getting them early.

0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:39.400
<v Speaker 1>So it wasn't that you were doing anything.

0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.200
<v Speaker 2>But I literally brought that up in therapy and I

0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:43.600
<v Speaker 2>was like, this feels so good that I'm not just

0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:46.200
<v Speaker 2>sitting on this and now cycling in my head that

0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Weezy just hates me and doesn't want to and normally

0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 2>in the past, I've done that, and so I was

0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:52.600
<v Speaker 2>just like, we've been potting a lot.

0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:53.760
<v Speaker 1>We had a great time in Vegas.

0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:56.440
<v Speaker 2>We even party together with fucking gez we outside and

0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:57.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, this feels so good.

0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:00.720
<v Speaker 1>Let me just let her know we're recording one more episodes.

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:03.319
<v Speaker 1>Can we do this? And like, I really appreciated that.

0:13:03.320 --> 0:13:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Response because I was like, this, this makes me feel

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.440
<v Speaker 2>like if something is bothering me now, I can't come

0:13:08.480 --> 0:13:10.120
<v Speaker 2>to you. And let's be very clear, we've talked about

0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:12.719
<v Speaker 2>it in the past. We both just felt like, fuck, hey,

0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:14.400
<v Speaker 2>this bitch, she ain't gonna listen, she ain't gonna respect.

0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you something nice I said about you

0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:22.560
<v Speaker 1>behind your back. Oh not off. So there's this moment

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:24.600
<v Speaker 1>in the club where I'm dancing with this nigga and

0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:26.480
<v Speaker 1>Mandy is recording us and said.

0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:29.240
<v Speaker 2>I got you, bitch right, and did I send it

0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:31.040
<v Speaker 2>to you? I gave you, gave you all the content.

0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:34.120
<v Speaker 1>I was like, because you know, she'd beking little stuff

0:13:34.120 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 1>with her niggas and I was like, okay, let me

0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:39.520
<v Speaker 1>get her dancing real quick. So he said to me

0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:42.360
<v Speaker 1>later that night, like, what was what was up with that? Like,

0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:44.400
<v Speaker 1>because he doesn't even have. He was like, what was

0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:46.400
<v Speaker 1>up with that? Like, you know, with her saying I

0:13:46.400 --> 0:13:49.040
<v Speaker 1>got you to you because he knows that Mandy and

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.440
<v Speaker 1>I have had some beef in the past. I was like,

0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:53.480
<v Speaker 1>Mandy's being placed on that moment, and I really feel

0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I was like Mandy and I at least I could

0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:59.160
<v Speaker 1>say this if I know nothing, we're never gonna out

0:13:59.200 --> 0:14:02.480
<v Speaker 1>each other. And I was like, I hope, Mandy, you

0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:04.240
<v Speaker 1>know that wasn't going on in today. I know, but

0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:07.160
<v Speaker 1>how I'll be hout of my own niggas. I ain't

0:14:07.160 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 1>gonna post don't nigga. So I said, Yo, Mandy and

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.560
<v Speaker 1>I have enough communication. It's funny because I said to him,

0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:17.679
<v Speaker 1>I might have said this pervading, I can't fucking stand her,

0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:20.600
<v Speaker 1>but I know this one thing, She's not gonna do that.

0:14:21.160 --> 0:14:22.880
<v Speaker 1>And you know he doesn't know you well. So when

0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:25.240
<v Speaker 1>Andy saying I got you, bitch, I know, Mandy's like, oh,

0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.400
<v Speaker 1>I got you being bowed up so that you could

0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:29.760
<v Speaker 1>have it for memory because I ain't gonna be bad.

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.280
<v Speaker 1>I'll be mad that I ain't got a lot.

0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.200
<v Speaker 2>Of like off, like just photos and memories with my

0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 2>partner without us posing. Like when I'm not with my fund,

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.760
<v Speaker 2>but also like, my friends love candid photos, so it's

0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 2>the thing that we do when we're all out, so.

0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.640
<v Speaker 1>We But that also goes back to and I was

0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.480
<v Speaker 1>using the word respect a lot. I'm like, listen, like

0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 1>we are really respecting of privacy. Yeah. I was like,

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.560
<v Speaker 1>I knows. As much as we talk about eatings on

0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:56.040
<v Speaker 1>this spot, baby, we probably shit we don't say, but

0:14:56.600 --> 0:14:58.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, it felt good. And he was like, Okay,

0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad that you feel that and that you guys

0:15:00.600 --> 0:15:02.640
<v Speaker 1>have And I was like, yeah, there's a lot of

0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:06.040
<v Speaker 1>respect there. I was like, we you know, it's like this.

0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh he told me when we were dancing a Jeezy together.

0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:12.400
<v Speaker 1>He was like, oh, you wretchet. He was like, you're

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:14.840
<v Speaker 1>a city girl. I was like, yeah, you know, that's

0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:18.720
<v Speaker 1>Mandy Sheep. But no, I think that every relationship just

0:15:18.720 --> 0:15:22.320
<v Speaker 1>a rap it. There's gotta be some conversation again on

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.479
<v Speaker 1>how you like to be respected.

0:15:25.600 --> 0:15:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, with Mandy's maybe it's timing. I'm working on what

0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:30.360
<v Speaker 2>respects look like right now with me, and.

0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I knew more either, And so in openness,

0:15:33.960 --> 0:15:36.600
<v Speaker 1>it was so interesting to learn what I needed and

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.360
<v Speaker 1>liked and like, obviously, growing things will happen. I haven't

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:40.760
<v Speaker 1>really had a big fight with him or anything, and

0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm so scared. You know, we had a six month market.

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 1>You're like, oh my god, well that's what not up.

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Everything just seems like smooth sailing. But yeah,

0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:51.520
<v Speaker 1>you kind of got to have a situation happen to learn.

0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.280
<v Speaker 1>And so if it's not learning from your mistakes, you've

0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:57.760
<v Speaker 1>got to maybe learn from your past traumas. So I

0:15:57.760 --> 0:15:59.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know. I'm in between this and I don't know

0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:06.040
<v Speaker 1>what you think. Uh. Alex specifically tells me all the time,

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.720
<v Speaker 1>don't be telling these niggas. Hire everybody fucks you up.

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:11.440
<v Speaker 1>Don't dumping your trauma niggas. Don't be telling them nothing either.

0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:17.400
<v Speaker 1>But Okay, I realized talking about what Old Bay did

0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:19.800
<v Speaker 1>to me has course corrected a lot of shit for

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.880
<v Speaker 1>this nigga. Mm hmm, because he's like, oh, yeah, I

0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.160
<v Speaker 1>know you don't like this or I understand you've been

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:28.040
<v Speaker 1>lied to, Like so some of it's helpful. I think

0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:29.280
<v Speaker 1>there's a way you've got to do it. But I'm

0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:33.720
<v Speaker 1>curious with you because you've overshared on this podcast. I'm

0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:35.360
<v Speaker 1>not saying that in Shady would be like you, Oh no,

0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:39.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm an overshare period, okay on everything? So when dating

0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 1>now with new people, how much are you telling you

0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.200
<v Speaker 1>about your ex? And are you waiting until maybe there's

0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:48.480
<v Speaker 1>somewhere report, are you first date talking? What are you doing?

0:16:52.200 --> 0:16:54.600
<v Speaker 1>I just that's the thing, and I think that's why

0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:55.320
<v Speaker 1>I'm not dating.

0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:59.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how to communicate, like even you know,

0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:01.760
<v Speaker 2>sharing the first time out with that nigga that wasn't

0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:05.040
<v Speaker 2>a date, it was a hangout, but not knowing how

0:17:05.080 --> 0:17:08.320
<v Speaker 2>to introduce my lifestyle or my friends anymore, and just

0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I literally And I think that's why

0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:13.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm just putting my head down and working as much

0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:16.280
<v Speaker 2>as I am right now, because it's something that keeps

0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:18.639
<v Speaker 2>me from feeling like I have to sit with dealing

0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:22.200
<v Speaker 2>with men, and I don't think I want to. Right now,

0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:26.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm figuring out what being respected looks like to me

0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:28.600
<v Speaker 2>after cutting twenty four to seven off, after not feeling

0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:31.520
<v Speaker 2>respected in my last relationship. How do I demand that?

0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:33.720
<v Speaker 2>But also how do I show up to where I

0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:36.600
<v Speaker 2>deserve that truth? And I think so for me, I'm

0:17:36.600 --> 0:17:40.440
<v Speaker 2>just working on myself and that I do believe though,

0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.200
<v Speaker 2>in not over sharing the ways in which people showed

0:17:45.280 --> 0:17:47.560
<v Speaker 2>up in a relationship with you, because if you put

0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:48.240
<v Speaker 2>up with shit like.

0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:49.680
<v Speaker 1>For me to say I broke up with this name,

0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.720
<v Speaker 1>oh that's a good point, that man.

0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Might think that he gonna have chances with me. So

0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:56.280
<v Speaker 2>there's things that I do think you should not tell

0:17:56.480 --> 0:17:58.240
<v Speaker 2>because now this man is going to think he's gonna

0:17:58.240 --> 0:17:59.960
<v Speaker 2>be able to do it to know that I stay.

0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.560
<v Speaker 2>After knowing this nigga cheated or disrespected me or hung

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:04.920
<v Speaker 2>out with my friends behind my back. Yeah, he might

0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:06.920
<v Speaker 2>think that, oh, that's not a deal breaker for you

0:18:07.080 --> 0:18:09.280
<v Speaker 2>then and now it is. So I don't want to

0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:11.280
<v Speaker 2>let him know the things that I actually did put

0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:12.639
<v Speaker 2>up with because he might.

0:18:12.520 --> 0:18:14.399
<v Speaker 1>Think that I'm gonna put up with that shit with

0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:15.040
<v Speaker 1>his ass too.

0:18:15.440 --> 0:18:18.840
<v Speaker 2>So I think I want to leave out my ex

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.920
<v Speaker 2>for a while, actually, But I do want to introduce

0:18:20.960 --> 0:18:23.439
<v Speaker 2>the fact that the things that I did like, I

0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:26.560
<v Speaker 2>did like when we traveled together. I really liked how

0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:28.639
<v Speaker 2>we played, and we should keep talking to them. I

0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:31.480
<v Speaker 2>think that's healthy to me. The healthy part of sharing

0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:33.840
<v Speaker 2>about my last relationship is going to be the things

0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:35.680
<v Speaker 2>that I really liked that I know I want again

0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:36.560
<v Speaker 2>that's going to.

0:18:36.560 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 1>Be the opal service. Yep. So I'm gonna tell he

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.280
<v Speaker 1>took my trash out. He was very thoughtful.

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:43.399
<v Speaker 2>When my friends came, he said, do you need me

0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:44.760
<v Speaker 2>to go pick them up from the airport?

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:45.320
<v Speaker 1>Do we need to?

0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 2>The things that I really liked about him are the

0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:49.560
<v Speaker 2>things that I'm putting out into the universe that I

0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.879
<v Speaker 2>want again and that I feel like I should get again.

0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.639
<v Speaker 2>So that's what I'm sharing more than anything with the

0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:56.480
<v Speaker 2>guys that I am talking about, just so you know,

0:18:56.520 --> 0:18:58.520
<v Speaker 2>he wont shit, But these were the things I really

0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:00.720
<v Speaker 2>did like. And I don't go into why he wasn't shit.

0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:03.520
<v Speaker 1>I realized the biggest trauma I was facing with dating

0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:06.760
<v Speaker 1>I might have overcome this weekend, actually, which was what

0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:09.720
<v Speaker 1>I did not feel comfortable when I turned my back

0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:14.919
<v Speaker 1>with Obey, Like around your around anyone, anyone not friends.

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.160
<v Speaker 1>I feel like maybe he wouldn't okay.

0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:19.520
<v Speaker 2>But the fact that you put baby maybe you wouldn't

0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 2>try them, but maybe you would.

0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:23.119
<v Speaker 1>I just don't. I don't know, bro, Like I just

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.320
<v Speaker 1>feel like if this was swaps, if one of your

0:19:26.320 --> 0:19:28.520
<v Speaker 1>homegirls was like I don't really felt was weazy like that?

0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:30.120
<v Speaker 1>But him me, when you come to Vegas. I feel

0:19:30.119 --> 0:19:32.879
<v Speaker 1>like Obi would be like, yeah, I feel like this

0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:34.879
<v Speaker 1>nigga would be like hell no. And I feel like

0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:36.800
<v Speaker 1>he would say hell no because he knows, like, I

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.439
<v Speaker 1>don't want to make you look stupid. But Obay was

0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:43.119
<v Speaker 1>just so sex brained that sometimes he couldn't even sex

0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:47.600
<v Speaker 1>brain like seriously, he couldn't look at women like look

0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:49.600
<v Speaker 1>at moments like this is going to hurt this person.

0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.520
<v Speaker 1>What also, I think was the issue with him is

0:19:53.640 --> 0:19:56.000
<v Speaker 1>he knew how much he loved me and that he

0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be in a relationship with someone else, right, so

0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:02.800
<v Speaker 1>he thought that was all that I would need. She

0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:04.680
<v Speaker 1>know I'm gonna be with her? Nigga, do you know

0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:06.800
<v Speaker 1>if I'm gonna be with you? Was a real thing.

0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Well no, he thought that you that you just wanted

0:20:09.200 --> 0:20:12.320
<v Speaker 1>a relationship, and so I'm just gonna fuck with our

0:20:12.359 --> 0:20:14.280
<v Speaker 1>third trip together in just two months. Right, we went

0:20:14.320 --> 0:20:17.000
<v Speaker 1>to Mexico twice, and I'm not saying I didn't feel

0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:18.640
<v Speaker 1>comfortable when I turned my back, but you know, I'm

0:20:18.640 --> 0:20:20.679
<v Speaker 1>like learning my trust. But for some reason this weekend,

0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:23.800
<v Speaker 1>maybe because it was poor and awards too, girl, I

0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:28.760
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh yeah, like now I felt good especially

0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:31.080
<v Speaker 1>the fact that, like I know, we were looking for

0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 1>a bitch right because not kidding. Even in my relationship

0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:39.359
<v Speaker 1>with ol bab, looking for the threesome made me uncomfortable

0:20:39.400 --> 0:20:41.920
<v Speaker 1>sometimes dang because I wanted pussy, but I thought, oh,

0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:43.359
<v Speaker 1>if you don't want to fuck me, he'll try to

0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:45.760
<v Speaker 1>figure out a time to fuck the bitch. Whereas I

0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:49.760
<v Speaker 1>feel like I'm in my newer dating experience with this person,

0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like they're like, I want to fuck another bitch.

0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:53.560
<v Speaker 1>I got one hundred hose that would want my Like

0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:55.720
<v Speaker 1>why am I going to fuck this up right now?

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.880
<v Speaker 1>In Vegas? Like this is the goal? Like I don't know,

0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:03.439
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, I think I had so much trauma about

0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:05.560
<v Speaker 1>being turned around in what's going on behind my back.

0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Embarrassment and shame is something I was feeling a lot.

0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:10.480
<v Speaker 1>And I also had a lot of moments where I

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:13.240
<v Speaker 1>was feeling triggered when you were going through shit. I

0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:15.520
<v Speaker 1>remember your Rory and Mall episode when I was like,

0:21:15.880 --> 0:21:18.760
<v Speaker 1>he did that to you, And there's these moments where

0:21:18.840 --> 0:21:20.480
<v Speaker 1>I could maybe even judge you, like why was she

0:21:20.520 --> 0:21:22.680
<v Speaker 1>taking back? But then I look at myself like why'd

0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:24.800
<v Speaker 1>I take him back? And it's like we always point

0:21:24.800 --> 0:21:27.439
<v Speaker 1>the finger at someone else, but not really ourselves. And

0:21:27.520 --> 0:21:30.160
<v Speaker 1>I should have been listening to the man that I was, Oh,

0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:33.119
<v Speaker 1>I ain't gonna hold you, see I was. I was like, ooh,

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:35.879
<v Speaker 1>would not be joining all the women in Delulu. Bitch.

0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:39.679
<v Speaker 2>I was happily in Delulu and knew it, and just

0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.040
<v Speaker 2>I didn't ask what if I s either. I was

0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:43.800
<v Speaker 2>only gonna. I was gonna lead this nigga when I

0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:45.160
<v Speaker 2>was ready to leave him, which is what I say

0:21:45.200 --> 0:21:47.520
<v Speaker 2>all the time. Bitch, I'll tell my friends, girl, I

0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:48.880
<v Speaker 2>don't want to hear about this nigga no more. You don't

0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:50.520
<v Speaker 2>leave them when you're ready to leave them. And so

0:21:50.680 --> 0:21:53.439
<v Speaker 2>for me sharing it on the pod, I'm glad that

0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:56.040
<v Speaker 2>y'all got to join me in Delulu for so long.

0:21:56.480 --> 0:21:59.439
<v Speaker 2>But to me, I understood that I was doing what

0:21:59.480 --> 0:21:59.960
<v Speaker 2>most women do.

0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:01.960
<v Speaker 1>I liked him. The dick was fine.

0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:04.520
<v Speaker 2>He's so fine. I'm actually mad too. I like, I

0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:07.639
<v Speaker 2>was rating my fine niggas with my friends. That's what

0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:09.960
<v Speaker 2>I was, like, Who the finest niggas? You don't fuck?

0:22:10.000 --> 0:22:12.440
<v Speaker 2>So we talking about these things and I literally brought

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:14.640
<v Speaker 2>my ex up. I was like, I think he's top four.

0:22:14.880 --> 0:22:16.800
<v Speaker 2>He tied with a niggas. But I was like, he

0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 2>like top four of to me, the sexiest, and he's

0:22:19.640 --> 0:22:23.359
<v Speaker 2>number one with sex I can I he's not in

0:22:23.359 --> 0:22:24.000
<v Speaker 2>the four that I know.

0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:26.000
<v Speaker 1>You fucked. I'm sorry, I have to talk about this

0:22:26.040 --> 0:22:28.520
<v Speaker 1>off air. You loved him, No, no, no, no, he to

0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.359
<v Speaker 1>me was top four him green eyes, twenty four to seven,

0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:33.800
<v Speaker 1>they're in the top and then the other one I like,

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:37.080
<v Speaker 1>I call him Detroit on the pot. So I mentioned

0:22:37.119 --> 0:22:39.080
<v Speaker 1>my foulk finest niggas. You're just talking about niggas. You

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:42.200
<v Speaker 1>fuck manby You're you are doloting. Okay, all right, I

0:22:42.200 --> 0:22:45.159
<v Speaker 1>don't know get into I don't know what list you

0:22:45.160 --> 0:22:52.320
<v Speaker 1>got over there. Oh you know we mentioned him. He's five.

0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 2>He's fine, but he not. He not top four or

0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.040
<v Speaker 2>five the first one you said. But then the first

0:22:57.119 --> 0:22:59.399
<v Speaker 2>one you said is short bitch. He was like, he

0:22:59.560 --> 0:23:01.080
<v Speaker 2>like five, he's not gonna make.

0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Gil y'all X had no hair, bab he was bald.

0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:05.800
<v Speaker 1>I like bitch. I like, mister clean hole. Don't do me.

0:23:06.160 --> 0:23:12.119
<v Speaker 1>I know before him, there was the first time for everything.

0:23:12.359 --> 0:23:20.440
<v Speaker 2>Well, let's get into our vanilla shit and this actually

0:23:20.440 --> 0:23:24.120
<v Speaker 2>may be me. Uh where I'm going in my dating journey.

0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:27.040
<v Speaker 2>This is from the New York Post and a woman

0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:29.399
<v Speaker 2>says that she is head over heels in love with

0:23:29.480 --> 0:23:32.200
<v Speaker 2>an oak tree, but it isn't about sex. I think

0:23:32.240 --> 0:23:33.480
<v Speaker 2>this is about to be me. I'm about to just

0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:36.800
<v Speaker 2>find some I love. If you fall for a tree

0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:40.400
<v Speaker 2>in the wood doesn't make a sound. A self proclaimed

0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:42.400
<v Speaker 2>eco sexual, bitch.

0:23:42.760 --> 0:23:43.760
<v Speaker 1>I ain't even gonna hold you.

0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:46.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing all these sexuals, all these goddamn titles. A

0:23:46.640 --> 0:23:50.280
<v Speaker 2>self proclaimed eco sexual took nature loving to the extreme

0:23:50.320 --> 0:23:54.240
<v Speaker 2>after becoming infatuated with an oak tree, which she sells

0:23:54.760 --> 0:23:58.159
<v Speaker 2>fills her with erotic energy. I don't know how to

0:23:58.160 --> 0:23:59.960
<v Speaker 2>tree make her pussy thunk, but that's what she said.

0:24:00.240 --> 0:24:02.240
<v Speaker 1>You get it. Dump. You see what I did there?

0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:06.919
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, there was an eroticism with something so big and

0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:10.800
<v Speaker 2>so old holding my back. She is a self proclaimed

0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:14.679
<v Speaker 2>eco sexual, defined by Here Come the eco Sexuals as

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:20.680
<v Speaker 2>a person who finds nature romantic, sensual, and sexy, and.

0:24:20.800 --> 0:24:23.359
<v Speaker 1>Often imagines Earth is their lover. I ain't gonna hold you.

0:24:23.480 --> 0:24:26.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm tired of spiritual hos, bitch. That's what I was

0:24:26.280 --> 0:24:29.159
<v Speaker 1>about to say this for mommy. If you Crystal Rubbin

0:24:29.920 --> 0:24:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Star Jazon zodiac loving bitches. Why is it that these

0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:39.960
<v Speaker 1>you know what spiritual holds are the new vegans for me?

0:24:40.240 --> 0:24:42.600
<v Speaker 1>Not the new okay? And what way explain this? I

0:24:42.640 --> 0:24:44.679
<v Speaker 1>had a problem with the vegans and now y'all niggas

0:24:44.720 --> 0:24:46.720
<v Speaker 1>mean it off. I'm gonna tell you what I like

0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:48.320
<v Speaker 1>now because I ain't gonna hold you is they only

0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:50.160
<v Speaker 1>weed it off because they don't learn how to make

0:24:50.359 --> 0:24:54.920
<v Speaker 1>these motherfuckers that jackfruit tastes like oxtail pool pork chicken. Bitch.

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:56.920
<v Speaker 1>I hate it because at one point, but bitch them

0:24:56.960 --> 0:24:59.080
<v Speaker 1>things kind of. I actually think vegans are starting to

0:24:59.160 --> 0:25:01.679
<v Speaker 1>understand the process. It ain't really hit yes, so now

0:25:01.680 --> 0:25:03.480
<v Speaker 1>they just making fucking jack fruit tastes like And I

0:25:03.480 --> 0:25:05.480
<v Speaker 1>have a vegan friend that was pregnant and they said,

0:25:05.480 --> 0:25:07.520
<v Speaker 1>oh no, that you need something else. So all the

0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:09.480
<v Speaker 1>vegans that are like I even saw vic mensa like

0:25:09.720 --> 0:25:11.600
<v Speaker 1>plant base ain't gonna make you gain weight. And it's

0:25:11.640 --> 0:25:14.439
<v Speaker 1>like even she was like, they had me say, and

0:25:14.520 --> 0:25:18.520
<v Speaker 1>you need a little paltry hope. Anyway, this is my

0:25:18.600 --> 0:25:22.120
<v Speaker 1>problem with spiritual I don't actually niggas too. The dudes

0:25:22.119 --> 0:25:24.159
<v Speaker 1>are doing it now too, the hotel niggas, Oh no,

0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:27.119
<v Speaker 1>they do. The spiritual people online don't seem real to

0:25:27.160 --> 0:25:29.879
<v Speaker 1>me because they're all selling it. And I don't believe

0:25:29.920 --> 0:25:33.920
<v Speaker 1>that when something is that real and precious to you,

0:25:33.920 --> 0:25:36.399
<v Speaker 1>you're gonna fucking make so much money on it. Like,

0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:38.960
<v Speaker 1>I just don't fucking believe it. Not saying I've never

0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:40.920
<v Speaker 1>contributed to the culture and paid for a psychic or

0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:45.760
<v Speaker 1>some shit, but I just believe that someone's spirituality constantly

0:25:45.800 --> 0:25:49.120
<v Speaker 1>being shared online or for profit isn't a real thing.

0:25:49.760 --> 0:25:53.840
<v Speaker 2>Which looking into this, she does have a self intimacy

0:25:53.880 --> 0:25:58.520
<v Speaker 2>guide and she specializes in erotic storytelling, which means there

0:25:58.520 --> 0:26:00.600
<v Speaker 2>may be some way in which she's fitting off of

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.359
<v Speaker 2>even she bet she's in.

0:26:02.359 --> 0:26:05.800
<v Speaker 1>The New York polls sharing. Okay, well right though, but

0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:08.760
<v Speaker 1>like okay, example, one of my homegirls was like, oh,

0:26:08.800 --> 0:26:11.960
<v Speaker 1>let's go to this breathwork class. And I was like, okay,

0:26:11.960 --> 0:26:13.760
<v Speaker 1>she's a woo woo bitch, not a wool woo. And

0:26:13.800 --> 0:26:16.880
<v Speaker 1>when I got there, the girl that was leading it

0:26:17.000 --> 0:26:19.560
<v Speaker 1>gave hella like you know, oh my god, no, no,

0:26:19.560 --> 0:26:21.480
<v Speaker 1>no vibes, right, and I was kind of feeling it.

0:26:21.600 --> 0:26:23.240
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, we got me in

0:26:23.240 --> 0:26:25.280
<v Speaker 1>my bag, like my vaporation is just feeling so this

0:26:25.320 --> 0:26:28.119
<v Speaker 1>and that, and so then of course we all go

0:26:28.160 --> 0:26:30.280
<v Speaker 1>after drinks after and not saying spiritual bitches can't drinks,

0:26:30.280 --> 0:26:31.960
<v Speaker 1>fuck or do whatever they want. I'm not saying that.

0:26:32.960 --> 0:26:36.679
<v Speaker 1>But she starts to vent. You know, she knows I

0:26:36.760 --> 0:26:39.760
<v Speaker 1>work in talking about sex whatever, sexpert, what we're gonna say,

0:26:40.440 --> 0:26:42.960
<v Speaker 1>And like all of the insecurities that she was having

0:26:43.040 --> 0:26:45.359
<v Speaker 1>a relationship just started pouring out, and these things she

0:26:45.440 --> 0:26:47.879
<v Speaker 1>was confused about and how she can't manage it. And

0:26:47.880 --> 0:26:52.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, why don't you do some breathwork, bitch? You

0:26:52.040 --> 0:26:57.359
<v Speaker 1>could watch like how can And I'm not saying like

0:26:57.400 --> 0:27:00.919
<v Speaker 1>a therapist can't have a therapist, But there is a

0:27:01.000 --> 0:27:04.479
<v Speaker 1>lot of the preachiness in spirituality on social media that

0:27:04.640 --> 0:27:07.840
<v Speaker 1>is just not it for me. I'm curious disus Goldwin

0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:09.199
<v Speaker 1>is my spiritual person. I know.

0:27:09.440 --> 0:27:13.639
<v Speaker 2>Have you come across these spiritual type of women in dating? Like, okay,

0:27:13.840 --> 0:27:16.160
<v Speaker 2>would a spiritual woman be a red flag for you?

0:27:16.280 --> 0:27:18.080
<v Speaker 2>Like the girl who wakes up and has to burn

0:27:18.119 --> 0:27:19.680
<v Speaker 2>the stage of rubber crystals? Oh my god, I got

0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:21.760
<v Speaker 2>a charge them in the moon tonight. Oh my god,

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:25.119
<v Speaker 2>your rising star mood? What does what does that do

0:27:25.240 --> 0:27:27.720
<v Speaker 2>for you in dating. Does it alarm you at all?

0:27:27.840 --> 0:27:28.480
<v Speaker 2>Is it a red flag?

0:27:28.600 --> 0:27:32.040
<v Speaker 1>This happened last weekend? What time were you born? Danny?

0:27:32.800 --> 0:27:34.359
<v Speaker 3>I went to the shorty's house and she had a

0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:38.480
<v Speaker 3>whole little like a like an altar. Yes, in the

0:27:38.520 --> 0:27:39.400
<v Speaker 3>back of her closet.

0:27:39.840 --> 0:27:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Wait did she show you?

0:27:41.000 --> 0:27:41.520
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:27:41.800 --> 0:27:45.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, okay, all up. Oh you haven't. No, we about

0:27:45.440 --> 0:27:47.880
<v Speaker 1>to judge you, bitch. No, I'm not no, I'm not No,

0:27:48.080 --> 0:27:50.159
<v Speaker 1>You're not going to judge people with alter litsten tell

0:27:50.160 --> 0:27:54.160
<v Speaker 1>you why my close homegirl was Dominican and then practicing

0:27:54.160 --> 0:27:57.560
<v Speaker 1>e foss since she was a child. Does that? Okay?

0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.680
<v Speaker 1>So I've never seen her poster altar on instaut I've

0:28:00.720 --> 0:28:02.879
<v Speaker 1>never seen her. Fucking need to tell niggas this, this

0:28:02.920 --> 0:28:05.960
<v Speaker 1>and that like. I think that you can exist in that.

0:28:05.960 --> 0:28:08.040
<v Speaker 1>That can be your religion, that can be your thing.

0:28:08.320 --> 0:28:11.119
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know Beth or well Danny you think, Danny, well,

0:28:11.119 --> 0:28:12.520
<v Speaker 1>how long we've been working with Beth? You know that?

0:28:12.520 --> 0:28:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Shu about it.

0:28:13.080 --> 0:28:15.920
<v Speaker 2>But Denny, as a man with with you being the

0:28:15.960 --> 0:28:19.120
<v Speaker 2>only one in the room. If if women have those things,

0:28:19.240 --> 0:28:20.239
<v Speaker 2>how did you receive that?

0:28:20.320 --> 0:28:23.720
<v Speaker 1>What did it turn you off? Did it? Were you inquisitive?

0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:25.720
<v Speaker 1>About it. How do you feel about that? The way

0:28:25.800 --> 0:28:28.840
<v Speaker 1>she made it, she explained it, it was she black. No,

0:28:29.000 --> 0:28:31.040
<v Speaker 1>she's a white woman. Sorry, Oh why.

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:38.480
<v Speaker 3>Wasn't okay, I'm different anyways.

0:28:39.000 --> 0:28:47.560
<v Speaker 1>Knew me white with an altar satatic syld you like

0:28:48.200 --> 0:28:51.680
<v Speaker 1>brew her? She not if she's not as though, it's

0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:55.080
<v Speaker 1>not voodoo a white a white woman would all go ahead,

0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:56.840
<v Speaker 1>tell us about the wicked nigga you about to be

0:28:56.840 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 1>in the sucking pace one of them camels on him.

0:29:00.120 --> 0:29:03.080
<v Speaker 1>We got it. This is crazy.

0:29:03.360 --> 0:29:05.720
<v Speaker 3>But it was like non denomination. It was like Buddha.

0:29:05.760 --> 0:29:07.920
<v Speaker 3>She was talking about Buddha Jesus and not kind of stuff.

0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:10.160
<v Speaker 1>So like not Buddha, angio lost.

0:29:10.640 --> 0:29:13.480
<v Speaker 3>I was worried at first, and then the way she

0:29:13.560 --> 0:29:14.520
<v Speaker 3>explained it.

0:29:14.280 --> 0:29:18.400
<v Speaker 1>Was brought you to the second place offering. No, seriously,

0:29:18.760 --> 0:29:20.120
<v Speaker 1>that's what altars are offering.

0:29:20.320 --> 0:29:23.040
<v Speaker 3>Oh oh, I guess that was a little Yeah, it

0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:25.280
<v Speaker 3>was very spiritual. I was worried at first, but she

0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:28.000
<v Speaker 3>the way she explained it, it wasn't as scary.

0:29:28.080 --> 0:29:29.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, whether you're going a good thing you always

0:29:29.640 --> 0:29:32.040
<v Speaker 1>complained about. Oh, I guess it's not. You be talking

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:33.640
<v Speaker 1>about how you losing your hair. If a piece of

0:29:33.680 --> 0:29:34.240
<v Speaker 1>that on the floor.

0:29:35.160 --> 0:29:36.760
<v Speaker 2>So wait, so wait, so are you going on a

0:29:36.800 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 2>second date? Like so it wasn't a red flag. You

0:29:38.800 --> 0:29:40.560
<v Speaker 2>were like on the second date. He was at her house,

0:29:40.560 --> 0:29:41.480
<v Speaker 2>so you fucked.

0:29:44.840 --> 0:29:58.760
<v Speaker 1>And snort? Yes, no, that I covering like four comedian.

0:29:59.080 --> 0:30:00.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, hopefully this you can put this part in

0:30:00.800 --> 0:30:02.240
<v Speaker 1>one of your set. I ain't gonna lie. This needs

0:30:02.240 --> 0:30:03.800
<v Speaker 1>to be a joke. We do need to. I want

0:30:03.800 --> 0:30:06.720
<v Speaker 1>to shout out Danny Sellers real quick. Danny works at

0:30:06.720 --> 0:30:09.080
<v Speaker 1>a wut of media in LA. But I've always said

0:30:09.160 --> 0:30:11.000
<v Speaker 1>when I saw his comedy specials, like, damn his nigga

0:30:11.080 --> 0:30:13.240
<v Speaker 1>quit soon. What what's the name of your comedy special?

0:30:13.360 --> 0:30:16.880
<v Speaker 1>Pound for pounds? It's shot really well and he's hilarious. Anyway,

0:30:17.120 --> 0:30:18.800
<v Speaker 1>don't fuck with this nigga because he like white hose

0:30:19.720 --> 0:30:23.840
<v Speaker 1>in the closet. I love I love black ladies, black ladies.

0:30:23.880 --> 0:30:27.640
<v Speaker 1>I like him, just not right now? Hold on, can

0:30:27.680 --> 0:30:31.320
<v Speaker 1>I ask you? Yeah, I have a friend that told

0:30:31.320 --> 0:30:33.080
<v Speaker 1>me that right now, he's only even one of the

0:30:33.120 --> 0:30:34.840
<v Speaker 1>fuck with white girls. And I said, why he goes

0:30:35.600 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 1>every time I meet a black girl, He's like, I'm

0:30:37.360 --> 0:30:39.600
<v Speaker 1>not meeting like black girls and ain't doing it in life?

0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.560
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm meeting black women at nice dinners or nice places.

0:30:42.840 --> 0:30:45.000
<v Speaker 1>He's like a lot of them will kind of pressure bro, Like,

0:30:45.280 --> 0:30:46.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to be in a relationship. I just

0:30:46.880 --> 0:30:48.960
<v Speaker 1>want to pussy And he's bitchest about to go for

0:30:49.000 --> 0:30:50.960
<v Speaker 1>this shit with a nigga. Have you felt like dating

0:30:51.000 --> 0:30:52.640
<v Speaker 1>white women maybe is less pressure?

0:30:53.000 --> 0:30:55.640
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I'm dating black ladies just as much. No,

0:30:55.720 --> 0:30:56.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm not one of them, he said.

0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:59.960
<v Speaker 4>I'm dating this ain't the only bitch. I'm fucking that's

0:31:00.080 --> 0:31:04.600
<v Speaker 4>what you say. I like, I like black ladies honestly,

0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:07.000
<v Speaker 4>preferably more. It's more of its culturally. Can we get

0:31:07.000 --> 0:31:09.280
<v Speaker 4>along culturally and then create? You got to be a

0:31:09.280 --> 0:31:11.720
<v Speaker 4>creator and I'm full time creator, so it can't. It's

0:31:11.760 --> 0:31:13.760
<v Speaker 4>hard to be with someone that's nine to five? Is

0:31:13.800 --> 0:31:14.440
<v Speaker 4>I don't have an.

0:31:14.680 --> 0:31:20.400
<v Speaker 1>I hear you decent all let's go. But isn't that interesting?

0:31:20.440 --> 0:31:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Like that's I mean, that's crazy though, what he just said.

0:31:23.840 --> 0:31:25.360
<v Speaker 3>But it's kind of true.

0:31:25.360 --> 0:31:27.840
<v Speaker 1>I guess, well, I think he's really just not wanting

0:31:27.880 --> 0:31:31.040
<v Speaker 1>to like date, and he's like, and it could be

0:31:31.120 --> 0:31:33.240
<v Speaker 1>this thing, and a lot of white women know it too.

0:31:33.320 --> 0:31:35.560
<v Speaker 1>I've had one or two white women tell me like, oh,

0:31:35.640 --> 0:31:37.720
<v Speaker 1>when I did black guys, they make it very clear

0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:40.800
<v Speaker 1>this is pussy. That's crazy. Though. I don't know if

0:31:40.840 --> 0:31:43.120
<v Speaker 1>I like that stigma being on. I mean, I know

0:31:43.200 --> 0:31:44.880
<v Speaker 1>it exists, but I hate that it does. The white

0:31:44.920 --> 0:31:46.720
<v Speaker 1>girl that I know that told me that, and it's

0:31:46.720 --> 0:31:48.800
<v Speaker 1>funny because I wanted to feel bad for her, but

0:31:48.840 --> 0:31:50.560
<v Speaker 1>I couldn't, and I don't feel that. I know we

0:31:50.640 --> 0:31:53.520
<v Speaker 1>got white listeners listening to this podcast, but she was

0:31:53.600 --> 0:31:55.600
<v Speaker 1>dating this dude and she was super intom I was like,

0:31:55.640 --> 0:32:01.640
<v Speaker 1>what happened? She was like, this sounds weird, but I

0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:03.720
<v Speaker 1>think that he started to really get interested in me.

0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:06.480
<v Speaker 1>And he had always talked about how his family would

0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:07.800
<v Speaker 1>be weird if you brought home white girl, and she

0:32:07.840 --> 0:32:08.920
<v Speaker 1>was like, I think he just had to cut it

0:32:08.920 --> 0:32:10.720
<v Speaker 1>because he don't want be white girl. Oh, I ain't

0:32:10.720 --> 0:32:14.280
<v Speaker 1>gonna hold you. I know, like black.

0:32:14.040 --> 0:32:16.920
<v Speaker 2>Families that would rather you bring home a same sex

0:32:17.080 --> 0:32:23.080
<v Speaker 2>person and be gay then bring home someone white. Like yeah, literally,

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:25.360
<v Speaker 2>don't bring don't bring them crack because this way that's

0:32:25.360 --> 0:32:25.960
<v Speaker 2>what they be saying.

0:32:26.000 --> 0:32:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I've actually heard a new thing from someone African who

0:32:29.160 --> 0:32:32.080
<v Speaker 1>said his mama just said, don't bring home no American girl.

0:32:32.520 --> 0:32:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Because they don't know how to treat men, and that

0:32:35.840 --> 0:32:39.440
<v Speaker 1>other cultures apparently are better mothers over there. You agree,

0:32:40.480 --> 0:32:42.760
<v Speaker 1>you just look too like m like I'm just switching

0:32:42.760 --> 0:32:46.040
<v Speaker 1>the He's like, I'm just working, Like I'm just working.

0:32:46.040 --> 0:32:49.720
<v Speaker 1>But you know what, That's interesting though, because when I

0:32:49.760 --> 0:32:52.160
<v Speaker 1>was getting my hair rated in South Africa, which by

0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:55.440
<v Speaker 1>the way, I can't believe that she was only dif Oh,

0:32:55.720 --> 0:32:58.600
<v Speaker 1>we were talking a lot about dating. And I actually

0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:00.560
<v Speaker 1>don't know if I brought this up on page with you,

0:33:00.800 --> 0:33:02.680
<v Speaker 1>but I was curious to know if you've ever had

0:33:03.160 --> 0:33:06.080
<v Speaker 1>none of my homegirls that are African have maybe grown

0:33:06.160 --> 0:33:08.080
<v Speaker 1>up or dated in Africa, maybe they were born there

0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:11.680
<v Speaker 1>or whatever. Right, So the girls were asking me about

0:33:11.760 --> 0:33:13.880
<v Speaker 1>dating in America, and she was like, oh, do they

0:33:13.880 --> 0:33:15.600
<v Speaker 1>call you bitch? Do they say this? They always seem

0:33:15.680 --> 0:33:17.640
<v Speaker 1>so mean? Oh wow? And I was like oh. And

0:33:17.680 --> 0:33:19.000
<v Speaker 1>I was telling them how I was having a great

0:33:19.000 --> 0:33:22.400
<v Speaker 1>experience dying in Africa right now. And so I was

0:33:22.440 --> 0:33:24.800
<v Speaker 1>talking about something I cooked him and they were like, wha,

0:33:25.480 --> 0:33:28.680
<v Speaker 1>you have a job and you cook and like, and

0:33:28.760 --> 0:33:31.880
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, maybe this is a thing because

0:33:32.480 --> 0:33:35.480
<v Speaker 1>we are such an independent I'm independent. I got my

0:33:35.520 --> 0:33:38.760
<v Speaker 1>own shit, and but that's not the culture in many

0:33:38.840 --> 0:33:41.760
<v Speaker 1>other countries, right, yeah, so it must look like we

0:33:41.760 --> 0:33:44.840
<v Speaker 1>ain't doing shit for niggas, which I mean you up

0:33:44.960 --> 0:33:46.719
<v Speaker 1>until it took a long time of me to even

0:33:46.760 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 1>cook a meal. Bitch, you better come over bed, bitch.

0:33:52.120 --> 0:33:56.600
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, for today's episode, we have been having so many

0:33:56.800 --> 0:33:59.000
<v Speaker 2>great guests on the pod that I wanted to get

0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:02.480
<v Speaker 2>through some of these homes else because shit, we ain't

0:34:02.480 --> 0:34:03.560
<v Speaker 2>been answering y'all's mother first.

0:34:03.600 --> 0:34:06.000
<v Speaker 1>We haven't. We've and baby, we got a lot of them.

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Fuck the guests, bitch, we've been having even though our solos,

0:34:08.360 --> 0:34:10.360
<v Speaker 1>we've been having too much fun, Like where were at

0:34:10.440 --> 0:34:10.719
<v Speaker 1>right now?

0:34:10.760 --> 0:34:10.920
<v Speaker 3>Dan?

0:34:11.040 --> 0:34:13.759
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, shit, we gotta oh right good. We're

0:34:13.760 --> 0:34:14.920
<v Speaker 1>gonna get through a couple of the years.

0:34:15.360 --> 0:34:19.440
<v Speaker 2>So the first one is the threesome ultimatum, okay, which

0:34:19.520 --> 0:34:22.880
<v Speaker 2>y'all know don't ever work. Y'all, stop with the ultimatum.

0:34:22.920 --> 0:34:25.280
<v Speaker 2>There's a whole show called ultimatum, and it don't.

0:34:25.120 --> 0:34:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Ever work for none of them. Motherfuckers.

0:34:26.760 --> 0:34:29.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't give people an ultimatum. Just let them go on.

0:34:29.200 --> 0:34:30.879
<v Speaker 2>They marry way if they not give you what you want.

0:34:30.880 --> 0:34:33.360
<v Speaker 2>But anyways, that's gonna be my answer probably to this email.

0:34:33.600 --> 0:34:35.879
<v Speaker 2>Let's see what they have to say. Hey, y'all, here

0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:38.320
<v Speaker 2>we go. I'm twenty three. Here We're gonna help you out, bitch.

0:34:38.719 --> 0:34:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Hey y'all, I'm a twenty three year old industry worker

0:34:41.520 --> 0:34:43.520
<v Speaker 2>from New York and have been with my current boyfriend

0:34:43.560 --> 0:34:46.960
<v Speaker 2>for four months after being just friends for two years.

0:34:47.360 --> 0:34:50.640
<v Speaker 2>We're very sexually active and have engaged in multiple threesomes

0:34:50.680 --> 0:34:54.360
<v Speaker 2>in the past that worked too enjoyable before we actually

0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:57.200
<v Speaker 2>officially started dating. Now that him and I are dating,

0:34:57.520 --> 0:35:00.000
<v Speaker 2>I kind of want him to myself and can't write

0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:02.680
<v Speaker 2>my head around sharing him in the bedroom without giving

0:35:02.719 --> 0:35:05.200
<v Speaker 2>a whole bunch of rules that he won't enjoy following.

0:35:05.800 --> 0:35:08.000
<v Speaker 2>He thinks I just need to get more experience with

0:35:08.040 --> 0:35:10.600
<v Speaker 2>women on my own so I can be more comfortable

0:35:10.640 --> 0:35:12.680
<v Speaker 2>having a woman in the bedroom for a threesome or

0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:15.040
<v Speaker 2>a foursome. But I think I just don't want to

0:35:15.040 --> 0:35:18.440
<v Speaker 2>share him with another woman. Recently, he's told me that

0:35:18.520 --> 0:35:20.960
<v Speaker 2>he doesn't see a relationship working out if I'm not

0:35:21.080 --> 0:35:24.439
<v Speaker 2>willing to have another threesome. He doesn't even care who

0:35:24.480 --> 0:35:26.360
<v Speaker 2>the girl is. He just wants to fuck me with

0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:28.880
<v Speaker 2>another girl. I'm not sure what to do because I

0:35:28.960 --> 0:35:31.560
<v Speaker 2>love him, but I'm also not about to compromise my

0:35:31.560 --> 0:35:34.640
<v Speaker 2>boundaries and force myself to do something I don't want

0:35:34.680 --> 0:35:34.960
<v Speaker 2>to do.

0:35:35.440 --> 0:35:38.279
<v Speaker 1>Please help and be gentle, y'all be do we hat shit?

0:35:38.680 --> 0:35:42.000
<v Speaker 1>Love you guys, and can't wait to read your book. Hmm.

0:35:42.760 --> 0:35:46.120
<v Speaker 1>This is an interesting one because I know that you've had.

0:35:46.000 --> 0:35:50.560
<v Speaker 2>A lot of three so I actually shared I dealt

0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:53.520
<v Speaker 2>with this in my last relationship, that we were going

0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:55.560
<v Speaker 2>to the club so much and inviting so many people

0:35:55.560 --> 0:35:58.600
<v Speaker 2>in that I think some of our connection with each

0:35:58.600 --> 0:36:00.839
<v Speaker 2>other lost a bit, and we had so much fun

0:36:00.880 --> 0:36:04.000
<v Speaker 2>being around other people. It became a conversation that I

0:36:04.080 --> 0:36:05.880
<v Speaker 2>want to stop doing this. I want to stop bringing

0:36:05.920 --> 0:36:11.200
<v Speaker 2>other people into the bedroom. And at the moment, I

0:36:11.239 --> 0:36:12.400
<v Speaker 2>don't think he wanted to do it.

0:36:12.400 --> 0:36:14.040
<v Speaker 1>You say it became a conversation. It became a.

0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:16.399
<v Speaker 2>Conversation first because I was like, I think we need

0:36:16.440 --> 0:36:18.359
<v Speaker 2>to pause on this. Not that it would never happen again,

0:36:18.400 --> 0:36:20.879
<v Speaker 2>but we needed to take a pause. I don't feel

0:36:20.920 --> 0:36:23.800
<v Speaker 2>like it was an ultimatum, and I think that maybe

0:36:23.840 --> 0:36:26.799
<v Speaker 2>how she's looking at it, maybe right now, fresh into

0:36:26.840 --> 0:36:28.560
<v Speaker 2>this relationship, she doesn't want to.

0:36:28.520 --> 0:36:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to give her the dialogue for that, right, Okay,

0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I want to just snowball in this because what you're saying,

0:36:32.960 --> 0:36:36.000
<v Speaker 1>you said, I can't do it. Maybe right now, there's

0:36:36.080 --> 0:36:38.520
<v Speaker 1>moments where you open and you close your relationship. Yes,

0:36:39.160 --> 0:36:42.040
<v Speaker 1>for me, I actually talked about this this weekend when

0:36:42.040 --> 0:36:45.120
<v Speaker 1>we were at Poppy's sake. I was like, Yo, I

0:36:45.200 --> 0:36:46.759
<v Speaker 1>know this open shit. We talk about a lot, but

0:36:46.800 --> 0:36:49.839
<v Speaker 1>there are moments that I'm going to maybe possibly you know,

0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:53.400
<v Speaker 1>if we get into and to myself, right and so

0:36:54.560 --> 0:36:56.880
<v Speaker 1>and again we're talking about what we would want our

0:36:56.920 --> 0:36:59.920
<v Speaker 1>relationship to look like. Yep, right, like still kind of

0:37:00.000 --> 0:37:02.440
<v Speaker 1>figuring out if it's a thing for us, And I said,

0:37:02.760 --> 0:37:07.120
<v Speaker 1>pregnancy is one that I know for sure absolutely fucking closed. Right,

0:37:07.400 --> 0:37:10.000
<v Speaker 1>That's a sacred moment. It is. There's so many times

0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:12.640
<v Speaker 1>where I've thought about my friends and open relationships and

0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:14.839
<v Speaker 1>how they've been able to feel. And also I think

0:37:14.880 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 1>there's moments of like even holidays. Right, This sounds super simple,

0:37:19.480 --> 0:37:23.680
<v Speaker 1>but when I was with Obay, I remember holiday time

0:37:24.719 --> 0:37:27.160
<v Speaker 1>he would kind of like art buzzles around Thanksgiving. My

0:37:27.160 --> 0:37:29.120
<v Speaker 1>family used to live in Orlando. He'd kind of want

0:37:29.120 --> 0:37:30.719
<v Speaker 1>Todays moment. And I'm like, Damn, I'm just kind of

0:37:30.719 --> 0:37:33.520
<v Speaker 1>in this little cocoon right now. I don't necessarily know

0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:36.360
<v Speaker 1>if I want to feel that, like you are able

0:37:36.360 --> 0:37:39.120
<v Speaker 1>to open and close your relationship. You know why because

0:37:39.800 --> 0:37:42.959
<v Speaker 1>as the person that's in the relationship, you're the priority. Yep.

0:37:43.400 --> 0:37:46.200
<v Speaker 1>If the person you're dating can't handle an open, closed situation,

0:37:46.520 --> 0:37:48.359
<v Speaker 1>they may not be for you. That's what you need.

0:37:48.920 --> 0:37:53.040
<v Speaker 1>And we're always feeling guilty about making someone feel stifled

0:37:53.320 --> 0:37:55.400
<v Speaker 1>or making them feel like we're giving them boundaries. I

0:37:55.400 --> 0:37:57.960
<v Speaker 1>know your ex talked about that having rules, where it's like,

0:37:58.080 --> 0:38:00.160
<v Speaker 1>how could you even have rules when you've done all

0:38:00.200 --> 0:38:02.600
<v Speaker 1>these things with Mandy. However, I mean.

0:38:02.520 --> 0:38:05.239
<v Speaker 2>Rules and boundaries, though, are allowed and need to be

0:38:05.400 --> 0:38:09.319
<v Speaker 2>enforced in open relationships. And again, I think I like

0:38:09.360 --> 0:38:12.719
<v Speaker 2>that what you said open close relationships are open relationships

0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:16.360
<v Speaker 2>are non ethically non monogaous relationships. I think that people

0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:18.880
<v Speaker 2>assume as soon as you join into the lifestyle, now

0:38:18.920 --> 0:38:20.600
<v Speaker 2>you have to keep up with all this. No, it

0:38:20.680 --> 0:38:23.479
<v Speaker 2>needs to be a constant conversation with your partner. Hey,

0:38:23.880 --> 0:38:25.560
<v Speaker 2>let's take a break from this a little bit. You

0:38:25.600 --> 0:38:27.520
<v Speaker 2>were allowed to do this same the same way we

0:38:27.560 --> 0:38:30.560
<v Speaker 2>talk about dry January or like ways in which we

0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:35.240
<v Speaker 2>sometimes like recluse or take away drinking or drugs or partying.

0:38:35.600 --> 0:38:37.800
<v Speaker 2>That's the same when it comes to inviting other people

0:38:37.800 --> 0:38:38.480
<v Speaker 2>into the bedroom O.

0:38:38.520 --> 0:38:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Their energy is a lot same, a lot. And when

0:38:40.719 --> 0:38:42.920
<v Speaker 1>we were talking about a few weeks ago on the

0:38:42.960 --> 0:38:44.960
<v Speaker 1>episode of Christina where I was like other people on

0:38:45.040 --> 0:38:47.799
<v Speaker 1>days and shit like that. Bro, there's so many times

0:38:47.800 --> 0:38:50.200
<v Speaker 1>where I've been in settings recently and I'm like, I

0:38:50.239 --> 0:38:51.440
<v Speaker 1>just kinda want to be with you right now. I

0:38:51.480 --> 0:38:53.239
<v Speaker 1>just want to be with you right now, and like

0:38:53.360 --> 0:38:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I need to lead er or even maybe I need

0:38:55.719 --> 0:38:59.560
<v Speaker 1>to be alone. Yeah, you know, Like I think that

0:39:00.600 --> 0:39:03.840
<v Speaker 1>we need to focus more on ourselves while in relationships

0:39:03.840 --> 0:39:06.000
<v Speaker 1>instead of so much thinking well, we'll please my partner

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:09.400
<v Speaker 1>as greezers, which she could. She sounds like she is

0:39:09.440 --> 0:39:13.799
<v Speaker 1>she does. It sounds like she's fighting it. She's like,

0:39:13.960 --> 0:39:15.600
<v Speaker 1>he's gonna break up with me if I don't give

0:39:15.680 --> 0:39:17.200
<v Speaker 1>him this. But I really don't want to do it.

0:39:17.440 --> 0:39:19.640
<v Speaker 2>And I think that she just needs to maybe put

0:39:19.640 --> 0:39:21.719
<v Speaker 2>a time frame on it because she could change. But

0:39:21.880 --> 0:39:24.200
<v Speaker 2>in some time, if he's still pressuring.

0:39:23.800 --> 0:39:26.040
<v Speaker 1>Her, maybe this maybe not more time for him to say, hey,

0:39:26.080 --> 0:39:29.160
<v Speaker 1>I need to feel more comfortable, okay, because I don't

0:39:29.160 --> 0:39:31.640
<v Speaker 1>want anybody I don't like to feel more comfortable, because

0:39:31.680 --> 0:39:33.919
<v Speaker 1>he's already suggested, well, maybe you just need to play

0:39:33.960 --> 0:39:35.440
<v Speaker 1>with more women to feel more comfortable.

0:39:35.480 --> 0:39:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Like he's even pressuring her to be with you know

0:39:37.480 --> 0:39:39.680
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. So she's just not in that space

0:39:39.760 --> 0:39:41.759
<v Speaker 2>right now. So the conversation needs to be like I

0:39:41.800 --> 0:39:44.239
<v Speaker 2>would love to revisit this maybe in a couple months,

0:39:44.239 --> 0:39:46.120
<v Speaker 2>but for the moment, can we really just enjoy each other?

0:39:46.800 --> 0:39:47.319
<v Speaker 1>That's it.

0:39:47.880 --> 0:39:50.400
<v Speaker 2>He's really not looking to just enjoy you by yourself.

0:39:50.800 --> 0:39:55.120
<v Speaker 2>These other people. Maybe, Yeah, what did someone say? I

0:39:55.120 --> 0:39:56.640
<v Speaker 2>don't know if I've said it on this podcast, but

0:39:58.640 --> 0:40:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I remember crying to a friend about how this guy.

0:40:02.239 --> 0:40:04.239
<v Speaker 1>Said that I was too much or like, you know,

0:40:04.440 --> 0:40:07.319
<v Speaker 1>my mora told oh, and she said, oh, yeah, you

0:40:07.360 --> 0:40:08.680
<v Speaker 1>know what you need to say to him the next

0:40:08.680 --> 0:40:11.200
<v Speaker 1>time you're doing too much, find someone that does little.

0:40:11.480 --> 0:40:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I am too much. I do a lot for you.

0:40:14.840 --> 0:40:17.200
<v Speaker 1>I bring a lot to the table. Maybe you need

0:40:17.239 --> 0:40:20.320
<v Speaker 1>to find someone that is smaller. That means women need.

0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:22.439
<v Speaker 2>To be okay with just walking away from someone who

0:40:22.520 --> 0:40:24.680
<v Speaker 2>does not fit them, but also.

0:40:25.239 --> 0:40:28.680
<v Speaker 1>The power in being able to not be scared of

0:40:28.719 --> 0:40:32.360
<v Speaker 1>when you need things like you can't tell him this

0:40:32.400 --> 0:40:34.000
<v Speaker 1>and be like, oh this here, you're gonna break up

0:40:34.040 --> 0:40:36.120
<v Speaker 1>with me. You need to have your chest tied because

0:40:36.239 --> 0:40:39.160
<v Speaker 1>women are confident and know what they want and it

0:40:39.239 --> 0:40:41.920
<v Speaker 1>better really leave And if he really wants you, he

0:40:42.040 --> 0:40:44.400
<v Speaker 1>gonna see that you're putting your foot down and he

0:40:44.520 --> 0:40:46.560
<v Speaker 1>not gonna want to lose you. He gonna sit here

0:40:46.560 --> 0:40:48.560
<v Speaker 1>and Ben, it's not gonna be the ultimated. Now, what

0:40:48.600 --> 0:40:52.360
<v Speaker 1>I would tell you is if threesomes is the only

0:40:52.400 --> 0:40:56.480
<v Speaker 1>spicy sex you're having, that is a problem. Yeah. If

0:40:56.520 --> 0:40:58.600
<v Speaker 1>sex clubs is the only spicy sex, which you were

0:40:58.600 --> 0:41:00.759
<v Speaker 1>telling out the other there toys, we did a whole

0:41:00.800 --> 0:41:02.920
<v Speaker 1>but that's my point. Yeah, if the sex club is

0:41:02.960 --> 0:41:05.560
<v Speaker 1>the only thing you do that's spicy, that's a problem.

0:41:06.440 --> 0:41:10.040
<v Speaker 1>Anybody listening, like, you cannot have one dimension with your

0:41:10.160 --> 0:41:13.640
<v Speaker 1>kink shit right. For example, this is a true story.

0:41:14.239 --> 0:41:18.600
<v Speaker 1>I have a friend of mine that's very into masaculum,

0:41:18.719 --> 0:41:22.600
<v Speaker 1>Like she wants to fucking be hit clothes, fists and stuff.

0:41:22.840 --> 0:41:24.279
<v Speaker 1>And she told me that it's been a little bit

0:41:24.280 --> 0:41:27.360
<v Speaker 1>difficult for her because she's like, girl, I've wanted to

0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:29.280
<v Speaker 1>go to work, but like she can handle pain, like truly,

0:41:30.320 --> 0:41:32.279
<v Speaker 1>and she said she kind of had a little bit

0:41:32.320 --> 0:41:35.440
<v Speaker 1>of a shift recently where it was making her feel

0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:36.960
<v Speaker 1>a little shitty. She's been with her partner in a

0:41:37.000 --> 0:41:39.960
<v Speaker 1>long time and they lived together, but she's like, bro,

0:41:40.320 --> 0:41:41.960
<v Speaker 1>that's the type of sex we have when it's wild,

0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:44.360
<v Speaker 1>and now I don't even know what the fuck to do. Yeah,

0:41:44.400 --> 0:41:46.680
<v Speaker 1>and so she's like looking for new shit, and I

0:41:46.719 --> 0:41:49.480
<v Speaker 1>think that we can't have only one lane. So I

0:41:49.480 --> 0:41:53.000
<v Speaker 1>would definitely say trying introducing something new that you've never done.

0:41:53.440 --> 0:41:59.719
<v Speaker 2>Maybe he pease them, that's simple. This next letter is

0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:03.080
<v Speaker 2>from my listener. All right, what's good. I'm a truck driver,

0:42:03.239 --> 0:42:04.839
<v Speaker 2>so I had plenty of time to listen to all

0:42:04.880 --> 0:42:07.080
<v Speaker 2>of your episodes. I can't tell y'all how much I

0:42:07.080 --> 0:42:09.600
<v Speaker 2>appreciate the work. The podcast you built is fun, it's honest,

0:42:09.640 --> 0:42:10.400
<v Speaker 2>it's educational.

0:42:10.400 --> 0:42:10.719
<v Speaker 1>Thank you.

0:42:11.239 --> 0:42:12.920
<v Speaker 2>I've learned so much from y'all, not only in the

0:42:12.960 --> 0:42:15.880
<v Speaker 2>obvious sense it's a sex pod, but documenting your growth

0:42:15.920 --> 0:42:18.960
<v Speaker 2>is business women, especially in partnership, is so valuable to

0:42:19.000 --> 0:42:19.919
<v Speaker 2>anyone trying to.

0:42:20.239 --> 0:42:23.640
<v Speaker 1>Make shit shake. One of my biggest regrets is not

0:42:23.680 --> 0:42:27.480
<v Speaker 1>getting on stage in San Francisco. Anyway. The reason I'm

0:42:27.600 --> 0:42:31.239
<v Speaker 1>writing is I'm talking to a high net worth individual.

0:42:31.360 --> 0:42:33.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm not that, right, bitch. She has an important job

0:42:34.560 --> 0:42:35.280
<v Speaker 1>that has.

0:42:35.080 --> 0:42:37.560
<v Speaker 2>Her flying to different parts of the world and a

0:42:37.600 --> 0:42:40.399
<v Speaker 2>personal business that deals in money I've never seen.

0:42:40.920 --> 0:42:43.200
<v Speaker 1>She's older and cool as hell.

0:42:43.120 --> 0:42:46.239
<v Speaker 2>In the nerdy way. She's spicy, white, Eastern European and

0:42:46.280 --> 0:42:49.680
<v Speaker 2>lives in London. I definitely have my insecurities, but she

0:42:49.760 --> 0:42:52.640
<v Speaker 2>started dropping the l box after four to five times

0:42:52.640 --> 0:42:55.439
<v Speaker 2>meeting in person in like three years. I started saying

0:42:55.440 --> 0:42:57.040
<v Speaker 2>it back. I don't know if it's real or just

0:42:57.080 --> 0:42:59.560
<v Speaker 2>something to say, but I definitely like her. This is

0:42:59.560 --> 0:43:02.239
<v Speaker 2>getting so I was good to the point. Recently she

0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:04.480
<v Speaker 2>asked if I would meet her in Africa during one

0:43:04.480 --> 0:43:08.399
<v Speaker 2>of her business trips. Wheezy, would you take your first

0:43:08.440 --> 0:43:11.560
<v Speaker 2>trip to the Motherland with a white mandy? Now that

0:43:11.640 --> 0:43:14.520
<v Speaker 2>you have money, would you pay the upfront costs for

0:43:15.400 --> 0:43:20.200
<v Speaker 2>a man to be floud for a flud oh to

0:43:20.280 --> 0:43:23.880
<v Speaker 2>be reimbursed? Y'all are fired to sign a nigga in

0:43:23.920 --> 0:43:25.840
<v Speaker 2>the scar. So he's asking if you would go to

0:43:25.920 --> 0:43:28.880
<v Speaker 2>Africa with a white person and asking me if I

0:43:28.920 --> 0:43:30.959
<v Speaker 2>would front the money to pay for him to come,

0:43:31.440 --> 0:43:32.919
<v Speaker 2>and he reimburses me later.

0:43:33.320 --> 0:43:36.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay, hold on, let me explain here. This is very interesting.

0:43:37.040 --> 0:43:40.759
<v Speaker 1>Okay oo, So Mandy's been Africa Africa a few times.

0:43:40.800 --> 0:43:42.800
<v Speaker 1>I've only been once just now, right, it's only to

0:43:42.840 --> 0:43:46.800
<v Speaker 1>South Africa. However, I thought this was a woman writing

0:43:46.840 --> 0:43:49.760
<v Speaker 1>about a lesbian relationship. Oh and you said signed a nigga.

0:43:50.440 --> 0:43:52.680
<v Speaker 1>At first, I was like, oh, you're a girl in

0:43:52.719 --> 0:43:54.640
<v Speaker 1>the car. You're a black girl going with a white

0:43:54.640 --> 0:43:56.279
<v Speaker 1>girl to Africa. Whatever you brought your friend.

0:43:56.520 --> 0:44:00.120
<v Speaker 2>This is a black man dating a white woman. Yes,

0:44:00.239 --> 0:44:04.800
<v Speaker 2>it's the temptation, the temptation.

0:44:08.239 --> 0:44:10.719
<v Speaker 1>I'll say this. I went to Africa with my friend

0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:14.040
<v Speaker 1>because he was on tour. And Mandy has talked about

0:44:14.040 --> 0:44:16.000
<v Speaker 1>going to Africa. Were her friends cause they're Lincoln And

0:44:16.040 --> 0:44:18.640
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing. He didn't say what part of Africa?

0:44:18.719 --> 0:44:20.480
<v Speaker 1>I don't think right, but I was gonna. I wanted

0:44:20.480 --> 0:44:22.520
<v Speaker 1>to just make this point. Going to Africa with an

0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:27.279
<v Speaker 1>itinerary is kind of cool because you're you're kind of like, oh,

0:44:27.280 --> 0:44:29.280
<v Speaker 1>all right, like I'm assuming she's got the hotel figured

0:44:29.320 --> 0:44:31.879
<v Speaker 1>out or whatever, like something about that. It's so far

0:44:31.960 --> 0:44:34.360
<v Speaker 1>that it was easy, Like my first time going to Tokyo,

0:44:34.480 --> 0:44:36.840
<v Speaker 1>Like I remember being like whoa, I don't even know

0:44:36.880 --> 0:44:38.800
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck I'm doing here? Like, why didn't I

0:44:38.840 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 1>make plans? I'm like googling on the plane. I do

0:44:41.239 --> 0:44:42.759
<v Speaker 1>think it's good when you're going to a big new

0:44:42.760 --> 0:44:44.400
<v Speaker 1>place to go with someone that kind of has a

0:44:44.400 --> 0:44:46.160
<v Speaker 1>bunch of shit to do that's already lined up. If

0:44:46.200 --> 0:44:52.120
<v Speaker 1>that's the case, I guess if the trip is free.

0:44:51.760 --> 0:44:55.240
<v Speaker 2>I'll be honest. We're talking about so Africa is a continent.

0:44:55.320 --> 0:44:57.080
<v Speaker 2>We know, we don't need y'all hopping in the fucking thing.

0:44:57.160 --> 0:45:01.000
<v Speaker 2>Oh also me, South Africa with a white it's easier.

0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:06.120
<v Speaker 2>It's easier than like Ghana, Nigeria, Senegal, like these are

0:45:06.200 --> 0:45:07.000
<v Speaker 2>other places I've been.

0:45:07.080 --> 0:45:08.839
<v Speaker 1>You going with a white person at these places? That's

0:45:08.880 --> 0:45:10.400
<v Speaker 1>a good point. And she not going to build a

0:45:10.480 --> 0:45:14.239
<v Speaker 1>village for these niggas or something. What is she going

0:45:14.280 --> 0:45:17.600
<v Speaker 1>there for? I what I need to know what she

0:45:17.719 --> 0:45:20.480
<v Speaker 1>going for? Are you going to help the people?

0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:23.040
<v Speaker 2>Otherwise if you just going there as a colonizer or something,

0:45:23.120 --> 0:45:25.200
<v Speaker 2>South Africa might work out. What I can't say that

0:45:25.840 --> 0:45:27.279
<v Speaker 2>what that's what they be going over there for. It

0:45:27.320 --> 0:45:29.880
<v Speaker 2>makes them feel better. I'm just saying, what is the

0:45:29.920 --> 0:45:33.960
<v Speaker 2>reason that she's going You know the white guilt, you

0:45:34.000 --> 0:45:34.440
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean.

0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:37.520
<v Speaker 1>So it depends because Ghana like just got pulled back.

0:45:37.560 --> 0:45:38.920
<v Speaker 1>Well I'm saying that too, because.

0:45:38.640 --> 0:45:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Ghana Witch, I was the lightest person that I saw

0:45:41.040 --> 0:45:44.759
<v Speaker 2>in Ghana, Like in Nigeria, there's a difference in I

0:45:44.760 --> 0:45:47.799
<v Speaker 2>didn't know people you know that I've been in.

0:45:47.920 --> 0:45:50.440
<v Speaker 1>So I was telling we were hanging out with just

0:45:50.480 --> 0:45:52.360
<v Speaker 1>a lot of friends, right and this is like December

0:45:52.400 --> 0:45:55.240
<v Speaker 1>and Johannes Brag so just mixing match and talking. And

0:45:55.440 --> 0:45:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I was saying to this black girl, like, bro, I've

0:45:56.960 --> 0:45:59.960
<v Speaker 1>be seeing so many interracial culfors here a couple excuse me,

0:46:00.640 --> 0:46:02.600
<v Speaker 1>and like in the States, me and my homegirls be

0:46:02.600 --> 0:46:04.759
<v Speaker 1>shading them and shit, low key when we see like

0:46:04.840 --> 0:46:08.000
<v Speaker 1>litt niggas with a white girl and it's just sorry,

0:46:08.040 --> 0:46:11.640
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of something we do. It isn't man. But

0:46:12.000 --> 0:46:15.839
<v Speaker 1>she said, Andy, we're still judging you too, but white

0:46:15.840 --> 0:46:17.480
<v Speaker 1>girls nobody do it. We do that shit. I know not,

0:46:17.520 --> 0:46:20.200
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, she said something I found so interesting. She said,

0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:24.879
<v Speaker 1>weazy apartheid just ended. Yeah, no, I learned about She said,

0:46:24.920 --> 0:46:26.640
<v Speaker 1>a lot of these black men are just fucking these

0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:28.960
<v Speaker 1>white girls because they're like you, God damn right on

0:46:29.040 --> 0:46:30.919
<v Speaker 1>fucking this white bitch. She's like, they have a really

0:46:30.920 --> 0:46:33.520
<v Speaker 1>big power trip. She said. In the States, it's an

0:46:33.560 --> 0:46:37.399
<v Speaker 1>allegiance and an alliance to wealth, she said, Here they

0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:40.120
<v Speaker 1>actually feel like they're a conquered They feel more like

0:46:40.200 --> 0:46:42.880
<v Speaker 1>fuck you to white people when they date white people interest.

0:46:42.960 --> 0:46:45.880
<v Speaker 1>She said, So the reasoning in the oppression with that

0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:48.040
<v Speaker 1>black men had not saying black men, obviously we don't

0:46:48.080 --> 0:46:50.520
<v Speaker 1>even till hello. But she's like, you know, it was

0:46:50.520 --> 0:46:54.520
<v Speaker 1>something we saw in our lives, whereas it's a little

0:46:54.560 --> 0:46:58.040
<v Speaker 1>older for you, and she's saying that it's a different thing.

0:46:58.680 --> 0:47:00.480
<v Speaker 1>So I think you're right. That's a great point in

0:47:00.480 --> 0:47:03.000
<v Speaker 1>South Africa, probably not anywhere else. I don't know. But

0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:05.759
<v Speaker 1>if the trip is free, I would always want to.

0:47:05.880 --> 0:47:08.439
<v Speaker 1>But no, that's what it seems like too. He brought

0:47:08.480 --> 0:47:13.600
<v Speaker 1>out being flewed out, like uh, now that you would

0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:17.919
<v Speaker 1>you pay the upfront costs and be reimbursed. So he's not, so, no,

0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:19.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna hold you.

0:47:19.480 --> 0:47:23.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm not gonna If I'm gonna fly a nigga out,

0:47:23.400 --> 0:47:25.680
<v Speaker 2>A part of me would be more turned off to

0:47:25.760 --> 0:47:27.560
<v Speaker 2>feel like I got he gotta set up a payment

0:47:27.560 --> 0:47:28.040
<v Speaker 2>plan to pay me.

0:47:28.280 --> 0:47:31.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean he already seems like he knows that. No

0:47:31.280 --> 0:47:34.400
<v Speaker 1>to me, like the reimbursement to me will not happen.

0:47:34.440 --> 0:47:36.239
<v Speaker 1>My homewoy told me he does that because he's like, hey,

0:47:36.239 --> 0:47:37.960
<v Speaker 1>these bitches we having miles and ship, ain't about to

0:47:38.000 --> 0:47:40.120
<v Speaker 1>fucking type in yours tsa pre check. I'll send you

0:47:40.120 --> 0:47:43.439
<v Speaker 1>the money. How much is this plate? Yeah? No, no, no, no,

0:47:43.520 --> 0:47:46.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm thinking of He's like getting there and then getting

0:47:46.719 --> 0:47:48.920
<v Speaker 1>there Like to me, I'm not I'm not flying a

0:47:48.960 --> 0:47:52.319
<v Speaker 1>nigga out. I though, will tell somebody this one will right.

0:47:52.400 --> 0:47:55.040
<v Speaker 2>But so what I'm saying is that's not so. He

0:47:55.080 --> 0:47:58.040
<v Speaker 2>asked me this question. So I'm answered, I'm not telling

0:47:58.080 --> 0:48:02.000
<v Speaker 2>the nigga to reimburse me. That's corny. So to me,

0:48:02.719 --> 0:48:05.520
<v Speaker 2>I always ask a guy, especially now that I do

0:48:05.600 --> 0:48:08.400
<v Speaker 2>have money. The hotel is covered, I might pay for

0:48:08.440 --> 0:48:09.880
<v Speaker 2>a dinner while you're out with me. I'm gonna look

0:48:09.880 --> 0:48:12.120
<v Speaker 2>out while you me, girl, I invite green Eyes to come.

0:48:12.320 --> 0:48:13.759
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, we'll pull up to New York. You could

0:48:13.760 --> 0:48:16.120
<v Speaker 2>stay with me. I'll cook, I'll feed you. If we

0:48:16.200 --> 0:48:18.080
<v Speaker 2>go out, I'll cover it. But I'm not booking. I'm

0:48:18.080 --> 0:48:19.080
<v Speaker 2>not paying for no nigga flight.

0:48:19.120 --> 0:48:21.120
<v Speaker 1>Well one other thing I wanted to say actually was

0:48:23.080 --> 0:48:24.880
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. If you have the extra fund, then

0:48:24.880 --> 0:48:26.239
<v Speaker 1>you want too. Fine, if the trip is free, I

0:48:26.239 --> 0:48:27.880
<v Speaker 1>would definitely do it. But the other little craffe I

0:48:28.000 --> 0:48:30.399
<v Speaker 1>I had was if you don't get that much time off,

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:34.239
<v Speaker 1>that's a big trip. Don't use your only big trip

0:48:34.600 --> 0:48:36.920
<v Speaker 1>on someone that you don't know. How it doesn't seem

0:48:36.960 --> 0:48:38.560
<v Speaker 1>like you don't even know your big first like her,

0:48:38.600 --> 0:48:41.000
<v Speaker 1>but you don't love her. Because when I was working

0:48:41.040 --> 0:48:43.279
<v Speaker 1>in nine to five say that PTO, I had to

0:48:43.360 --> 0:48:46.200
<v Speaker 1>be very particular about my trips, and that was a

0:48:46.200 --> 0:48:47.400
<v Speaker 1>lot of the shit I would say. I'd be like,

0:48:47.400 --> 0:48:48.960
<v Speaker 1>I am about to waste three days, four days with

0:48:48.960 --> 0:48:50.960
<v Speaker 1>this nigga when I could be with By the way,

0:48:51.000 --> 0:48:54.200
<v Speaker 1>y'all gotta look up the trips or the trip tips

0:48:54.239 --> 0:48:57.279
<v Speaker 1>now for PTO every year, that's the TikTok, and they'll

0:48:57.320 --> 0:48:58.880
<v Speaker 1>let you know how to take the least amount of

0:48:58.920 --> 0:49:01.600
<v Speaker 1>time off for the most amount of days based around

0:49:01.600 --> 0:49:05.680
<v Speaker 1>the holidays that are happening. So like, oh, I go, yeah,

0:49:05.920 --> 0:49:07.960
<v Speaker 1>take a half day here, or like more because it

0:49:08.080 --> 0:49:08.799
<v Speaker 1>changes every day.

0:49:08.880 --> 0:49:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Can yeah holidays where sometimes Fridays and Mondays are off.

0:49:12.680 --> 0:49:15.480
<v Speaker 2>They'll say, use a Wednesday and use a Tuesday, so

0:49:15.520 --> 0:49:16.919
<v Speaker 2>you could have this many days off.

0:49:17.600 --> 0:49:18.960
<v Speaker 1>So look that up. It's online.

0:49:19.120 --> 0:49:20.600
<v Speaker 2>So this is gonna be our last one for today,

0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:22.120
<v Speaker 2>and then we'll get to them get niggas after I

0:49:22.239 --> 0:49:24.440
<v Speaker 2>edit it and revise it and shorten it.

0:49:24.400 --> 0:49:25.840
<v Speaker 1>Because what the fuck, y'all?

0:49:25.880 --> 0:49:27.920
<v Speaker 2>If you send in your whole mail to Horrible Decisions

0:49:27.920 --> 0:49:31.200
<v Speaker 2>at gmail dot com, can we limit it to three paragraphs?

0:49:31.200 --> 0:49:33.839
<v Speaker 2>Maybe when I say paragraphs, that's three to five sentences. Okay,

0:49:33.840 --> 0:49:35.560
<v Speaker 2>we're taking it back to language. Yes, So the one

0:49:35.560 --> 0:49:37.600
<v Speaker 2>with the boring boyfriend, your mail was long, but we'll

0:49:37.640 --> 0:49:39.080
<v Speaker 2>get to it. Yeah, we just got to edit it

0:49:39.080 --> 0:49:41.960
<v Speaker 2>a little bit, all right. This one comes from there

0:49:42.000 --> 0:49:47.680
<v Speaker 2>asking for advice. Advice for a traumatized horny virgin, Dear

0:49:47.680 --> 0:49:50.000
<v Speaker 2>Weezy and Mandy. First off, I want to let you

0:49:50.040 --> 0:49:51.960
<v Speaker 2>know don't be mad that I discovered you guys my

0:49:52.000 --> 0:49:54.200
<v Speaker 2>freshman year of high school, and I want to thank

0:49:54.200 --> 0:49:54.640
<v Speaker 2>you guys.

0:49:54.640 --> 0:49:56.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh lord, that's okay. I come from a household that

0:49:56.960 --> 0:49:58.839
<v Speaker 1>made sex. If ay, let us know you had sex

0:49:58.880 --> 0:50:00.680
<v Speaker 1>before you listen to the podcast, I'll feel about she's

0:50:00.680 --> 0:50:03.440
<v Speaker 1>a virgin still, Oh seems like I come from a

0:50:03.440 --> 0:50:06.560
<v Speaker 1>household that made sex a very shameful thing, as there

0:50:06.640 --> 0:50:10.560
<v Speaker 1>was a generational pattern of teen and young pregnancies and

0:50:10.640 --> 0:50:13.880
<v Speaker 1>abusive partners, which led to an overarching idea that wanting

0:50:13.880 --> 0:50:16.600
<v Speaker 1>a man was a bad thing. Oh, she's a smart girl.

0:50:16.920 --> 0:50:18.759
<v Speaker 2>It got to the point where I felt guilty just

0:50:18.840 --> 0:50:21.399
<v Speaker 2>kissing my boyfriend at the time, but your podcast became

0:50:21.440 --> 0:50:23.880
<v Speaker 2>a safe space for me to learn about and explore

0:50:23.880 --> 0:50:24.680
<v Speaker 2>my sexuality.

0:50:25.160 --> 0:50:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Now.

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I recently turned eighteen and graduated high school as a junior,

0:50:28.760 --> 0:50:31.920
<v Speaker 2>and guess what, no babies. I also still a virgin,

0:50:32.360 --> 0:50:35.680
<v Speaker 2>but have had multiple relationships where we've done everything up

0:50:35.760 --> 0:50:36.400
<v Speaker 2>two sets.

0:50:36.400 --> 0:50:38.759
<v Speaker 1>So our podcast doesn't make you bitch as fun I

0:50:38.800 --> 0:50:40.400
<v Speaker 1>love it. We need to clip that, No, you have

0:50:40.480 --> 0:50:41.319
<v Speaker 1>the virgin that listen.

0:50:41.520 --> 0:50:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I love this year Since high school, however, I am

0:50:44.000 --> 0:50:46.160
<v Speaker 2>now ready to explore that chapter in my life. But

0:50:46.239 --> 0:50:49.440
<v Speaker 2>alas the men I seem to attract our assholes in

0:50:49.480 --> 0:50:52.600
<v Speaker 2>every relationship, I've ended up feeling used as I'm very

0:50:52.680 --> 0:50:54.719
<v Speaker 2>much a people pleaser and giver her and don't know

0:50:54.760 --> 0:50:56.800
<v Speaker 2>how to give up that part of myself without wondering

0:50:56.840 --> 0:50:58.799
<v Speaker 2>if they only want me for my body. In a

0:50:58.800 --> 0:51:00.799
<v Speaker 2>couple of episodes, you guys have talked about how some

0:51:00.840 --> 0:51:03.600
<v Speaker 2>of the most successful relationships have started out with sex

0:51:03.640 --> 0:51:06.000
<v Speaker 2>on the first night. But given my history with guys,

0:51:06.160 --> 0:51:08.479
<v Speaker 2>the fact that I can't even have sex and don't

0:51:08.480 --> 0:51:11.440
<v Speaker 2>know how to have it, and the negativity built around it,

0:51:11.480 --> 0:51:13.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how to let that part of myself go,

0:51:13.320 --> 0:51:16.919
<v Speaker 2>especially in early stages of a relationship. Any advice would

0:51:16.920 --> 0:51:19.040
<v Speaker 2>be great. I know I'm young and have many people

0:51:19.480 --> 0:51:21.680
<v Speaker 2>and have many people yet to meet that could change

0:51:21.680 --> 0:51:24.400
<v Speaker 2>my mind, but that part of myself already feels closed

0:51:24.400 --> 0:51:26.840
<v Speaker 2>off when I was just starting to feel ready to

0:51:26.880 --> 0:51:29.279
<v Speaker 2>explore it. I don't want to feel completely shut down

0:51:29.280 --> 0:51:32.399
<v Speaker 2>from sex already and be stuck living by curiously through

0:51:32.440 --> 0:51:34.959
<v Speaker 2>the smut I read. Thank you for taking the time

0:51:35.000 --> 0:51:37.360
<v Speaker 2>to read this. PSU also inspired me to start a

0:51:37.400 --> 0:51:39.879
<v Speaker 2>podcast of my own with my best friend. So glad

0:51:39.920 --> 0:51:41.439
<v Speaker 2>to see how far you've come and thank you, guys

0:51:41.480 --> 0:51:43.200
<v Speaker 2>for the help you don't know you've given me already.

0:51:43.200 --> 0:51:45.600
<v Speaker 1>She's not gonna she didn't name drop the bar she

0:51:45.640 --> 0:51:50.520
<v Speaker 1>really want to answer. I think you have to get

0:51:50.640 --> 0:51:56.240
<v Speaker 1>away from the idea that penetration is this crazy, big

0:51:56.840 --> 0:51:59.960
<v Speaker 1>experience and that your virginity is tied to the sacredness.

0:52:00.760 --> 0:52:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to downplay virginity, but the reason that

0:52:03.640 --> 0:52:05.720
<v Speaker 1>I am in this particular instance is because you said

0:52:06.000 --> 0:52:08.879
<v Speaker 1>you've done everything but with partners, and then you said

0:52:08.880 --> 0:52:12.279
<v Speaker 1>they were all assholes. Girl doesn't know you saw some

0:52:12.320 --> 0:52:15.600
<v Speaker 1>dick doesn't know what I would recommend to you. Well,

0:52:15.760 --> 0:52:17.600
<v Speaker 1>oral sex is sex. So maybe she act said to dick,

0:52:17.719 --> 0:52:19.960
<v Speaker 1>she said everything up to sex, and oral sex is sex.

0:52:20.040 --> 0:52:21.640
<v Speaker 1>We talked about it. I mean, but if kissing has

0:52:21.640 --> 0:52:23.680
<v Speaker 1>made her feel guilty a lot of these things, so

0:52:23.719 --> 0:52:26.120
<v Speaker 1>you give them that part of hand. So it's like,

0:52:26.360 --> 0:52:28.840
<v Speaker 1>maybe you are putting way too much pressure on sex itself.

0:52:29.760 --> 0:52:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I have a celibate friend is me know Breanda, and

0:52:31.680 --> 0:52:33.799
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't do any of that right, kissing is it.

0:52:34.320 --> 0:52:36.719
<v Speaker 1>So that's why I can say that a lot of

0:52:36.719 --> 0:52:38.840
<v Speaker 1>the this is like, you know, whether you're getting naked

0:52:38.880 --> 0:52:40.960
<v Speaker 1>things like that. I know she is having trouble dating

0:52:41.160 --> 0:52:43.839
<v Speaker 1>or finding someone or talking to someone about it because

0:52:43.840 --> 0:52:46.759
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of parameters on her celibacy. For you,

0:52:47.600 --> 0:52:49.360
<v Speaker 1>I think what you need to have happened to you

0:52:50.560 --> 0:52:53.800
<v Speaker 1>is have sex with someone that makes you feel comfortable

0:52:53.840 --> 0:52:58.360
<v Speaker 1>and safe, even if you never see them again. I think, okay,

0:52:58.640 --> 0:53:00.719
<v Speaker 1>letting that person know your version. I know there's some

0:53:00.760 --> 0:53:03.239
<v Speaker 1>maybe scenarios where people just we've had people in the

0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:05.480
<v Speaker 1>thirties or forties even right into us about their virginity.

0:53:05.520 --> 0:53:07.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm like this, just get over it. Right with you,

0:53:07.920 --> 0:53:12.040
<v Speaker 1>particularly being that you're younger and you've got someone it

0:53:12.080 --> 0:53:14.000
<v Speaker 1>seems to be a little bit of religious trauma and

0:53:14.040 --> 0:53:17.839
<v Speaker 1>shit like that. I think you need to be very

0:53:17.880 --> 0:53:22.640
<v Speaker 1>clear that you experience your first time and that you

0:53:22.680 --> 0:53:25.839
<v Speaker 1>want to be respected during that time. Like you don't

0:53:25.840 --> 0:53:27.200
<v Speaker 1>want someone to maybe dash you away, you know what

0:53:27.200 --> 0:53:28.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, Like you want them to stay with you

0:53:28.800 --> 0:53:31.200
<v Speaker 1>maybe that night, like after care and kink is going

0:53:31.280 --> 0:53:33.600
<v Speaker 1>to be necessary, like after care, after you have set

0:53:33.719 --> 0:53:36.160
<v Speaker 1>things that are involved with So yeah, I think once

0:53:36.160 --> 0:53:37.960
<v Speaker 1>you find someone comfortable with, maybe a friend that you've

0:53:37.960 --> 0:53:41.560
<v Speaker 1>flirt with, but it can't be this big old thing

0:53:41.560 --> 0:53:44.120
<v Speaker 1>in your head because the things that you've already done

0:53:45.080 --> 0:53:47.160
<v Speaker 1>are kind of already a big deal. I think like

0:53:47.239 --> 0:53:50.919
<v Speaker 1>you still had some form of it. So I would

0:53:50.960 --> 0:53:52.640
<v Speaker 1>just make sure that the person you sleep with you

0:53:52.640 --> 0:53:55.279
<v Speaker 1>said they've been assholes. Maybe you also have to have

0:53:56.000 --> 0:53:59.759
<v Speaker 1>less expectations. I know, Beyonder particularly wants a relationship or

0:53:59.760 --> 0:54:02.840
<v Speaker 1>marriag right, If that's not what you're looking for, be

0:54:02.920 --> 0:54:04.600
<v Speaker 1>clear that you just want a good person or someone

0:54:04.600 --> 0:54:07.839
<v Speaker 1>that makes you feel comfortable and safe. So yeah, because

0:54:07.880 --> 0:54:10.279
<v Speaker 1>if you want a relationship until you have sex, that

0:54:10.400 --> 0:54:13.200
<v Speaker 1>motherfucker may disappoint you even then. So I think making

0:54:13.239 --> 0:54:16.120
<v Speaker 1>sure that the experience itself is safe and comfortable is

0:54:16.120 --> 0:54:18.920
<v Speaker 1>more important than the attachment to that person. To you,

0:54:19.239 --> 0:54:22.480
<v Speaker 1>as someone that's been sexually assaulted and someone that's had

0:54:22.520 --> 0:54:25.480
<v Speaker 1>men not necessarily treat them to nicis, I've always enjoyed

0:54:25.480 --> 0:54:29.560
<v Speaker 1>the experiences where men are respectful versus I've had this

0:54:29.640 --> 0:54:32.680
<v Speaker 1>title or this rapport. Yeah, I can meet a nigga

0:54:32.680 --> 0:54:34.440
<v Speaker 1>in the first night. That'll do me right. You know,

0:54:35.120 --> 0:54:37.920
<v Speaker 1>like you've got to make sure that you're getting that vibe.

0:54:38.239 --> 0:54:42.040
<v Speaker 2>I mean, to me, this goes into something that wasn't

0:54:42.760 --> 0:54:45.279
<v Speaker 2>I guess my mind wasn't ready for it. To me,

0:54:45.680 --> 0:54:48.520
<v Speaker 2>you're traumatized. You need to go to therapy and work

0:54:48.560 --> 0:54:51.000
<v Speaker 2>through that and get over it. If kissing still makes

0:54:51.000 --> 0:54:53.759
<v Speaker 2>you uncomfortable, I don't think just fucking a guy who

0:54:53.880 --> 0:54:56.160
<v Speaker 2>might show up is nice is gonna be.

0:54:56.200 --> 0:54:58.440
<v Speaker 1>They think she used to feel guilty from kissing. But

0:54:58.480 --> 0:55:01.080
<v Speaker 1>I agree her feel uncomfortable.

0:55:01.160 --> 0:55:04.120
<v Speaker 2>Yes, that's what she just said so to me, like,

0:55:04.280 --> 0:55:06.680
<v Speaker 2>and it didn't say that even the things that she

0:55:06.800 --> 0:55:09.479
<v Speaker 2>went up to sex made her feel away.

0:55:09.520 --> 0:55:10.560
<v Speaker 1>She didn't share those details.

0:55:10.560 --> 0:55:12.279
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of things that we could ask if

0:55:12.520 --> 0:55:14.759
<v Speaker 2>you know, she called in like, well did those other

0:55:14.840 --> 0:55:16.759
<v Speaker 2>things make you feel uncomfortable? To know that you felt

0:55:16.800 --> 0:55:21.319
<v Speaker 2>uncomfortable with kissing. I think there's an exploration for you

0:55:21.360 --> 0:55:27.359
<v Speaker 2>to have in in therapy first, but also maybe it's

0:55:27.480 --> 0:55:29.360
<v Speaker 2>meant I would actually say, Oh my.

0:55:29.360 --> 0:55:30.560
<v Speaker 1>God, I was just gonna say you need to be

0:55:30.640 --> 0:55:33.040
<v Speaker 1>good friends. No, that's not what I was gonna say,

0:55:33.040 --> 0:55:36.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh a decent man. No, my thing was gonna be

0:55:37.400 --> 0:55:41.840
<v Speaker 1>maybe women will make you feel safe. Maybe you should

0:55:41.840 --> 0:55:44.879
<v Speaker 1>maybe see sexually if exploring with a woman might be

0:55:45.480 --> 0:55:47.800
<v Speaker 1>what what will make you feel comfortable? Have you kissed

0:55:47.800 --> 0:55:50.279
<v Speaker 1>a woman before and did that make you uncomfortable? Have

0:55:50.400 --> 0:55:53.359
<v Speaker 1>you been able to feel safe with with women? Like?

0:55:53.680 --> 0:55:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you're trying to force yourself knowing again the traumatic experience.

0:55:57.280 --> 0:55:59.880
<v Speaker 2>If it's a religious thing, maybe you're forcing yourself to

0:55:59.880 --> 0:56:00.440
<v Speaker 2>be straight.

0:56:00.480 --> 0:56:02.279
<v Speaker 1>Now you just don't Like we said, we ain't take

0:56:02.320 --> 0:56:05.279
<v Speaker 1>a ridge. I don't know people would know if they haven't.

0:56:05.360 --> 0:56:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Maybe she would have even brought up if she had

0:56:06.680 --> 0:56:07.160
<v Speaker 1>a attraction.

0:56:08.360 --> 0:56:11.080
<v Speaker 2>But she's also young and grew up in no I

0:56:11.120 --> 0:56:13.040
<v Speaker 2>think that a lot of those things. If you grow

0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:16.719
<v Speaker 2>up in church, you're taught that that's not something you

0:56:16.719 --> 0:56:20.160
<v Speaker 2>should do. So maybe right now she's convincing herself losing

0:56:20.160 --> 0:56:23.000
<v Speaker 2>my virginity to men to know that they're all assholes

0:56:23.000 --> 0:56:24.879
<v Speaker 2>and she hasn't felt safe and no one has made

0:56:24.920 --> 0:56:29.640
<v Speaker 2>her feel wanted or respected, and kissing a nigga made

0:56:29.680 --> 0:56:30.440
<v Speaker 2>her uncomfortable.

0:56:30.440 --> 0:56:32.879
<v Speaker 1>Bitch, maybe you don't like me if you if dating

0:56:32.920 --> 0:56:34.800
<v Speaker 1>women doesn't worry. Here's my final thing. The reason I

0:56:34.840 --> 0:56:37.760
<v Speaker 1>said good men, friends is because you're in an age.

0:56:37.840 --> 0:56:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Mind you, Mandy and our ten years your senior. Right,

0:56:41.160 --> 0:56:44.759
<v Speaker 1>those men in college and that age, they're really bad. Yes,

0:56:44.920 --> 0:56:46.520
<v Speaker 1>I know that you've been listening to this podcast for

0:56:46.560 --> 0:56:48.160
<v Speaker 1>a long time, so you know it doesn't get better,

0:56:48.520 --> 0:56:52.879
<v Speaker 1>but it definitely gets better than that. You a better

0:56:52.880 --> 0:56:55.560
<v Speaker 1>figure this shit out now, like being assholes. I actually

0:56:55.600 --> 0:56:58.720
<v Speaker 1>talked about this with my boy Andrea Power recently. Andre's

0:56:58.719 --> 0:57:01.120
<v Speaker 1>almost forty, and I was like, bro, I haven't really

0:57:01.239 --> 0:57:04.279
<v Speaker 1>dated like a shitty, Like I've been dating guys that

0:57:04.320 --> 0:57:06.680
<v Speaker 1>you know, they'll get my girls all bab with shitty. No, no, no,

0:57:06.680 --> 0:57:10.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, like the treatment like when you're on on

0:57:10.080 --> 0:57:12.200
<v Speaker 1>the dates and like, I haven't really dated a guy

0:57:12.239 --> 0:57:16.240
<v Speaker 1>who's an asshole. Yeah, And he was like, I wonder

0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:19.400
<v Speaker 1>if it's age or maybe it's where you meet them.

0:57:19.400 --> 0:57:22.560
<v Speaker 1>Like he's like, because yeah, he's like, you know, girls

0:57:22.800 --> 0:57:24.600
<v Speaker 1>maybe when I was younger told me like, oh my god,

0:57:24.640 --> 0:57:26.160
<v Speaker 1>you're so nice. He was like, but now, like they

0:57:26.280 --> 0:57:29.880
<v Speaker 1>just expect a good nigga, right, And so I said,

0:57:30.160 --> 0:57:32.760
<v Speaker 1>they don't because when a nigga's too nice, then they laying,

0:57:32.920 --> 0:57:36.040
<v Speaker 1>then they corny, like so many women. Actually what Like,

0:57:36.280 --> 0:57:38.960
<v Speaker 1>I think you need an example of some good men friends.

0:57:39.000 --> 0:57:41.560
<v Speaker 1>I think platonic relationships could actually be a little bit

0:57:41.560 --> 0:57:43.520
<v Speaker 1>safer for you. And I think maybe even a male

0:57:43.560 --> 0:57:46.840
<v Speaker 1>friendship could guide you with some of this, because sometimes

0:57:46.840 --> 0:57:48.960
<v Speaker 1>the problem with talking to other women is that they're

0:57:48.960 --> 0:57:52.200
<v Speaker 1>a sounding board for like everything going wrong with men.

0:57:52.720 --> 0:57:54.600
<v Speaker 1>We do that, especially when we're in a bad fucking

0:57:54.760 --> 0:57:56.880
<v Speaker 1>how many episodes that we were like, nigga, that shit,

0:57:57.600 --> 0:58:01.880
<v Speaker 1>maybe all of them, but like that this whole thing

0:58:01.960 --> 0:58:05.720
<v Speaker 1>is contradiction. I actually think you need good male friends

0:58:05.760 --> 0:58:09.000
<v Speaker 1>for real. That has really helpful in my heel have

0:58:09.120 --> 0:58:14.920
<v Speaker 1>sex because if your only relationships with men are romantic ones,

0:58:15.720 --> 0:58:17.720
<v Speaker 1>you all think they're assholes. You need to start looking

0:58:17.720 --> 0:58:20.000
<v Speaker 1>at men in a different way. Seeing nice friends. Yeah,

0:58:20.040 --> 0:58:21.120
<v Speaker 1>and I think that could help.

0:58:21.560 --> 0:58:24.160
<v Speaker 2>I did that to one of my friends, uh on

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:27.600
<v Speaker 2>New Year's I literally hit him up and was just like,

0:58:27.760 --> 0:58:31.280
<v Speaker 2>thank you for being a friend and seeing me, and

0:58:31.760 --> 0:58:34.200
<v Speaker 2>like when I enter room, when I'm around you, and

0:58:34.240 --> 0:58:37.720
<v Speaker 2>he's megastar, like dope. When I sit at the table,

0:58:38.200 --> 0:58:40.120
<v Speaker 2>he like boasts about all the things that I do,

0:58:40.160 --> 0:58:42.280
<v Speaker 2>and I just know he like values me as a

0:58:42.280 --> 0:58:44.840
<v Speaker 2>person and in this space that I'm at now where

0:58:45.200 --> 0:58:48.680
<v Speaker 2>romantically I don't know what I'm doing, I literally just

0:58:48.720 --> 0:58:51.360
<v Speaker 2>hit him like, thank you, thank you for knowing that

0:58:52.000 --> 0:58:54.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm deserving of receiving that from a male like I

0:58:54.800 --> 0:58:55.960
<v Speaker 2>literally that's what I wrote him.

0:58:55.960 --> 0:58:58.880
<v Speaker 1>I was high on shrooms, but but yes, but I

0:58:58.880 --> 0:59:00.600
<v Speaker 1>mean the shrooms got you to like that part of

0:59:00.600 --> 0:59:03.480
<v Speaker 1>your emotionalness, right, And I think that like that shit

0:59:03.600 --> 0:59:07.400
<v Speaker 1>is valuable. I really appreciate good male platonic friendships relationships.

0:59:07.520 --> 0:59:10.560
<v Speaker 1>I think we all need one. I recently had Alex's

0:59:10.640 --> 0:59:14.320
<v Speaker 1>girl tell me that she was so grateful that he

0:59:14.440 --> 0:59:16.480
<v Speaker 1>had me in his life, because she's like, oh my god,

0:59:16.480 --> 0:59:18.600
<v Speaker 1>there's so many times where we've run in a little argument.

0:59:18.640 --> 0:59:20.640
<v Speaker 1>I thought to myself, like, oh, I know, Wes, he

0:59:20.640 --> 0:59:22.840
<v Speaker 1>ain't gonna agree with this, and he's probably gonna call

0:59:22.920 --> 0:59:24.720
<v Speaker 1>her for you know. She's like, I think it's really

0:59:24.760 --> 0:59:27.439
<v Speaker 1>good that men have a decent homegirl in their life. Yeah,

0:59:27.480 --> 0:59:30.120
<v Speaker 1>and I think there's something to that. So many says

0:59:30.120 --> 0:59:33.960
<v Speaker 1>he's a pussy I said, did I say, equs did

0:59:34.000 --> 0:59:35.200
<v Speaker 1>not hold on?

0:59:35.720 --> 0:59:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I ain't say going eat what was down and stay

0:59:37.560 --> 0:59:39.880
<v Speaker 2>kiss a woman and see if you feel uncomfortable, and

0:59:39.920 --> 0:59:42.120
<v Speaker 2>if you don't, maybe that's the direction you might need

0:59:42.160 --> 0:59:47.080
<v Speaker 2>to go. Just kiddy, I pushing that bitch into lesbianism. Now,

0:59:47.120 --> 0:59:52.600
<v Speaker 2>calm down. Well, and so we've introduced herself all right.

0:59:52.600 --> 0:59:55.320
<v Speaker 1>We totally to find us in London. But we also

0:59:55.400 --> 0:59:57.880
<v Speaker 1>have had so many new and fun changes patreons. So

0:59:58.360 --> 1:00:01.160
<v Speaker 1>if you want to see our new series, if you

1:00:01.240 --> 1:00:03.560
<v Speaker 1>want to see our actual video on Patreon, which we

1:00:03.600 --> 1:00:05.640
<v Speaker 1>now have, please head on over to patreon dot com.

1:00:05.640 --> 1:00:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Backslash Horrible Decisions. There's also a video that will be

1:00:09.320 --> 1:00:11.840
<v Speaker 1>on the page that'll explain our new tiers. Yeah, what

1:00:11.960 --> 1:00:14.640
<v Speaker 1>it brings, What you'll get included, and we're making them

1:00:14.640 --> 1:00:16.560
<v Speaker 1>more simple. A whole lot of shit, baby.

1:00:17.120 --> 1:00:21.120
<v Speaker 2>Anyways, y'all, this has been yet another episode of Horror Decisions.

1:00:21.280 --> 1:00:21.800
<v Speaker 1>Ye bye