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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that management says sounds ten times

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Speaker 1: better when it's done by our AI robot replacements. Just

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Speaker 1: for some reason, AI Jose isn't able to get into

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Speaker 1: work on time.

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Speaker 2: They cannot figure that part out of that well.

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Speaker 1: Once they do, it's curtains for us and the human

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Speaker 1: edition of Laser Stories.

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Speaker 2: That means that we're never gonna leave.

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Speaker 1: It's a segment where we read weird news stories around

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Speaker 1: the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got

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Speaker 1: a laser.

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Speaker 2: Those other binary bays just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first Laser story is out of Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania, Chas.

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Speaker 2: No, not quite.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you about twenty seven year old Mandy

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Speaker 1: Freed and her boyfriend Tyson. They decided to go get

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Speaker 1: some ice cream over at the Meadows Frozen Custard Shop.

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Speaker 1: While waiting for their order, Tyson dropped a couple of

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Speaker 1: quarters into a claw machine to win his girlfriend to

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Speaker 1: stuffy like a.

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Speaker 2: That's right, that's the only way you you know love

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Speaker 2: he has.

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Speaker 1: He started to maneuver the mechanical claw around to pluck toys. Suddenly,

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Speaker 1: Mandy screamed amongst the stuffed animals and plastic objects. There

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Speaker 1: were two eyes blinking back at them from inside the pile.

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Speaker 2: What the heck?

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Speaker 1: The staff ran over to see what was going on,

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Speaker 1: and that's when everyone realized that inside of the machine

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Speaker 1: there was somehow a very much alive groundhog.

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Speaker 2: I can show you a picture of it right there.

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Speaker 2: You can kind of see it crushed in between the toys.

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Speaker 2: So cute? Does that mean we get summer forever? Is

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Speaker 2: that what?

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Speaker 1: The grounded the machine? Five minutes later police showed up

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Speaker 1: and unfortunately had no idea how to coax an animal out.

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Speaker 2: No, yes, not so.

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Speaker 1: One of the kids nearby nick named him Herbie, and

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Speaker 1: the groundhog has been living inside of the machine for

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Speaker 1: over a year and is eating all of.

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Speaker 2: The stuffies inside.

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Speaker 1: That was a laser story. The next one is that

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, just kidding. The Pennsylvania Game Commission figured

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Speaker 1: out how to get Herbie out safely. They released him

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Speaker 1: into a nearby field, But by that time, videos of

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Speaker 1: the little critter nestled in with all the plushies went

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Speaker 1: viralable and the shop ran with it, selling T shirts

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Speaker 1: the very next day that said respect the groundhog.

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Speaker 2: The next day, who come on, you know why?

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Speaker 1: I feel like that phrase sounds like an inuindo in

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Speaker 1: some more shirts that way. This next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of Minnesota. Thirty year old Veronica Gast was behind

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Speaker 1: the wheel and her boyfriend was in the passenger seat.

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Speaker 1: They'd been fighting all day, but things got really heated

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Speaker 1: on the drive and wouldn't you know it.

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Speaker 2: He broke up with her.

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Speaker 1: Man. He says, he told her their relationship was over

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Speaker 1: and asked her to take him home, but she.

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Speaker 2: Stopped in the middle of the road and told him

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Speaker 2: to get out, get out, gimme. Yeah, so he.

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Speaker 1: Did, got out of the car, and that's when she

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Speaker 1: floored it, causing him to fly over the hood and

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Speaker 1: slam into her windshield. Oh my, sh my, gosh.

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Speaker 2: Luckily he's okay.

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Speaker 1: He ended up with a cut on his right elbow

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Speaker 1: and she ended up with a cracked windshield.

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Speaker 2: In anger management classes I.

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Speaker 1: Hold and at first, Veronica told authorities she didn't hit

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Speaker 1: him on purpose, she just didn't see him there, boyfriend

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Speaker 1: in front of you. But eventually she changed her story

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Speaker 1: and admitted she did see him and was taken into custody.

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Speaker 1: She's facing second degree assault charges, and it sounds like

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Speaker 1: their relationship is officially over.

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Speaker 2: Health.

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Speaker 1: Ironic thing about the whole situation is they were on

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Speaker 1: their way to couples counseling when this happened.

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Speaker 2: No amount of therapy can help them now though.

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Speaker 1: He's just like, I'm done. They didn't cancel before twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours, so I probably bet they still got charged.

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Speaker 1: Could you imagine just being back in that therapy where

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Speaker 1: she's like, Oh, what are you gonna bring up that.

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Speaker 2: It ran you over again?

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Speaker 1: How many times do we have to talk about that?

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Speaker 2: One hundred ten miles an hour?

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Speaker 1: Tell them this next Laser stories out of Dating Headquarters.

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Speaker 1: AI can't solve all the world's problems yet, okay, but

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Speaker 1: one thing it can do is catch all you short

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Speaker 1: kings lying in your dating profiles. Someone not named Alexis

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Speaker 1: Fuller realized that you can use chat GPT to figure

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Speaker 1: out if a dude is fibbing about his height. Apparently,

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Speaker 1: just upload four pictures of them into the AI and

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Speaker 1: ask how to hall would you estimate this person is?

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Speaker 2: And it worked.

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Speaker 1: It uses their surroundings and stuff in the background of

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Speaker 1: the photo to calculate it.

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Speaker 2: And figure it out.

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Speaker 1: An AI expert tried it with ten friends and family

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Speaker 1: members and said it was accurate to within.

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Speaker 2: A half inch for all of them. Wow, I mean

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Speaker 2: you knew that already, Alexis, this was your idea. You're right,

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Speaker 2: I meant it's crazy that you all just finding that out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, people, the advancement when I can measure something else.

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Speaker 2: Don't send those pictures anymore.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do with the clothes on even This

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Speaker 1: next Lazer story is out of Gaming Central. Yes, the

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Speaker 1: Official Scrabble Dictionary is adding a bunch of new words,

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Speaker 1: and there's a little bit of controversy about it because

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Speaker 1: a lot of them are slang, but apparently they will

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Speaker 1: count in a game of Scrabble soon enough.

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Speaker 2: I'm actually on the edge of my seat. I love

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Speaker 2: this game.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't start till January first, okay, but you'll be

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Speaker 1: allowed to use these. Number five yeat interesting meaning.

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Speaker 2: I think that's important because wise are hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know you meaning to throw, but it's also

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Speaker 1: used to express excitement. Number four bougie.

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Speaker 2: The J and a bd b O U j e E.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's not I E spelled j E. So you

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Speaker 2: know the spelling I have.

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Speaker 1: It means fancy or luxurious. They added multiple different spellings

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Speaker 1: for it to number three, you're now allowed to use

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Speaker 1: this at scrabble.

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Speaker 2: Flu Is that like a fart?

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it, but no, it's slang for any

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Speaker 1: furry animals.

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Speaker 2: Number two backne short for back acne. You can use

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Speaker 2: that in Scrabble. Scrabble had to do it? Do you

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Speaker 2: put a case like acne with a beat like acne? Okay?

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Speaker 1: And the number one word the board game Scrabble is

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Speaker 1: adding to its new list of words that you'll be

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Speaker 1: able to play is grammable? Something worthy of being posted

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Speaker 1: on Instagram? Oh?

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Speaker 2: So many letters? Good score?

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Speaker 1: And again, remember Brooke, you're not allowed to play these

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Speaker 1: against your children to beat them yet? Okay, you have

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Speaker 1: to wait until January first for the new rules to.

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Speaker 2: Go in effect. You can.

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Speaker 1: I love that my kids are still in elementary school

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Speaker 1: because I annihilate them. Well, speaking of a grammable fluof Oh,

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Speaker 1: this guy just went yet on a shoes back okay,

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Speaker 1: and the turtle is not fuzzy.

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Speaker 2: He is healthy.

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Speaker 1: I almost used all of the words don't let him

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Speaker 1: get away with that.

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Speaker 2: That was pretty boogie of me.

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Speaker 1: Sixty points awarded to yours truly, and that's sam. When

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Speaker 1: these laser shoys has come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do it again, same time on when day