Speaker 1: Episode one fourteen, How to Buy Happiness. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money embrace
Speaker 1: simplicity to you how to Buy Happiness. Welcome to the
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill,
Speaker 1: and I am super happy about today's episode. What a
Speaker 1: great tie and we are titled. We do a lot
Speaker 1: of listener requests and on the rare occasion that I
Speaker 1: get to slip one in there that nobody requested, but
Speaker 1: just I am excited about None of us noticed. None
Speaker 1: of us noticed. It's about happy money principles. So it's
Speaker 1: our book club friends. We'll remember we used to have
Speaker 1: a book club, and if we still had one, this
Speaker 1: would definitely be one of the books in the book club.
Speaker 1: And so we'll talk about it. Uh and uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just super stoked. I love how excited you are
Speaker 1: about it. I also thought that maybe you were excited
Speaker 1: because we were in person. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: yeah wow. So you'll see that if you're watching this
Speaker 1: on YouTube or listening to us on YouTube, that we
Speaker 1: are together again. Because Eric and I are buying a
Speaker 1: home in Florida. We put our money where our mouth
Speaker 1: is to buy happiness, to buy Happy Florida. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it. We're going to get here. I
Speaker 1: will dive in first. We're going to talk about our sponsors.
Speaker 1: Also brought to you by chewing gum. It's what makes
Speaker 1: me happy and it's what repels cavities. Chewing gum so
Speaker 1: win wich she does. When I read this, I laughed
Speaker 1: because she loves chewing up too. It's a shame for
Speaker 1: me that during podcasting I can't chew up. It's sadness
Speaker 1: to her repels cavities, but probably will give me lock jaw.
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know, but it is happiness for me,
Speaker 1: and I buy it. I buy it once a week. Yes, So,
Speaker 1: speaking of buying happiness. Uh, there is a book called
Speaker 1: Happy Money and it is an amazing, amazing book. Um.
Speaker 1: I am. I should have become prepared with the name
Speaker 1: of the author, UM, but I didn't, So I'm googling
Speaker 1: it right now. No shame, um. But it's essentially five
Speaker 1: principles um that it's the science of happier spending. And
Speaker 1: it's five principles that do when you spend on them, uh,
Speaker 1: increase your happiness. Um. And it's by Elizabeth Dunn and
Speaker 1: Michael Norton got there quick. There it is um and
Speaker 1: so Michael Norton actually did a Ted Talk Ted X
Speaker 1: talk about happy Money, so you can find that, uh,
Speaker 1: and they even have a mobile app. UM. You might
Speaker 1: be familiar with joy or payoff for happy money. It's
Speaker 1: a few iterations. So there are several ways you can
Speaker 1: come into contact with happy money, and we're going to
Speaker 1: go through a few articles, uh talking about those principles,
Speaker 1: how you can apply them to your life and why
Speaker 1: they're so super relevant, um for for where we're living
Speaker 1: in right now. Yeah. I love how they highlight just
Speaker 1: this concept of spending money on things that will actually
Speaker 1: bring us joy in our lives. And that's the idea
Speaker 1: behind you know what people say, like money can't buy
Speaker 1: you happiness, but money used wisely can buy us things
Speaker 1: that bring about life giving opportunities, and you know, maybe
Speaker 1: some activities that do bring about joy and can create
Speaker 1: some happiness and connection between us and others. And we'll
Speaker 1: talk about that. So, yeah, ways that you can spend
Speaker 1: your money, not not just making financially sound decisions, but
Speaker 1: how money can be a tool to be used for
Speaker 1: a variety of ways in our lives and one of
Speaker 1: them to help us, uh, bring about life and joy. Yeah.
Speaker 1: We are not frugal for the sake of being frugal
Speaker 1: for the sake of hoarding money. Uh, it is. It
Speaker 1: is a tool. And so our first articles from Forbes
Speaker 1: and it's called the five Principles of Happy Money. So
Speaker 1: we're just going to go through those ones first and
Speaker 1: uh yeah, it's yeah. So the first one is to
Speaker 1: buy experiences. Research shows that material things turn out to
Speaker 1: provide less happiness than experiential purchases, but for some reason,
Speaker 1: we we continue to buy things because when you buy something,
Speaker 1: you have it long term, and so we think, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna buy the shirt and I'm going to get
Speaker 1: to wear it over and over and over, and that
Speaker 1: is going to bring me happiness every time I wear it. Um.
Speaker 1: But the law of diminishing returns, will, you know, remind
Speaker 1: us that it only will bring you happiness for so long,
Speaker 1: Whereas an experience, the the anticipation of it, the actual experience,
Speaker 1: and the memories associated with it, You carry those with
Speaker 1: you for much longer than the happiness that an item
Speaker 1: can bring those that you've shared those memories with as well.
Speaker 1: It's amazing how I can recall maybe one time of
Speaker 1: spending three hours with somebody, and it is it feels
Speaker 1: as though I spent a lot longer than that with
Speaker 1: with somebody, given whatever kind of circumstance or activity you're
Speaker 1: doing side by side. It's it's quite amazing how important
Speaker 1: experiences are and the memories that are created as a
Speaker 1: result of that versus just like what we can do
Speaker 1: with our things in isolation. Yeah, when I was paying
Speaker 1: off debt, I had a rule that I would never
Speaker 1: drink alone. So whether that was alcohol or coffee or whatever,
Speaker 1: I would never drink alone. And that was to save
Speaker 1: money because I love the experience of getting coffee with
Speaker 1: a friend or going to a bar um. But alcohol
Speaker 1: and coffee tend to be expensive after you, you know,
Speaker 1: buy them a lot. So I gave myself freedom to
Speaker 1: enjoy those things, but only if I experienced them with someone.
Speaker 1: That's a helpful boundary line, especially when you're at certain
Speaker 1: financial goals that could be And yeah, it aims at
Speaker 1: the experience of it and not just the thing that
Speaker 1: you're consuming. Like that, and that kind of ties into
Speaker 1: number two on this list is make it a treat.
Speaker 1: And so the article argues that when something is always available,
Speaker 1: we're less inclined to appreciate that thing. This goes in
Speaker 1: line with growing up in an area and never having
Speaker 1: been to the local museums or even some of the
Speaker 1: local parks because it's just there. I don't know, it's
Speaker 1: like that's in my backyard. I just never go. Versus
Speaker 1: others who come to visit. It's like that happened to
Speaker 1: us all the time growing up outside Philly. People are like,
Speaker 1: I want to go see the Liberty bell Is. It's
Speaker 1: so amazing, Like I want to see the Betsy Ross House.
Speaker 1: I want to all these things. And we're just like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, Like I went there once on a field
Speaker 1: trip in elementary school. It's just there. You just don't
Speaker 1: think about it. Um. And so using that mentality, we
Speaker 1: can create things to be treats and to be exciting um.
Speaker 1: And so in the article they give this example of
Speaker 1: like they went out a vacation and they found this
Speaker 1: wine that they really liked, and then they had wine
Speaker 1: every single night for dinner, and then suddenly they didn't
Speaker 1: want wine anymore. It wasn't a treat. And so, in
Speaker 1: some ways, kind of abstaining from a thing or a
Speaker 1: purchase or an activity for a time that you typically
Speaker 1: enjoy can help to make that thing a treat and
Speaker 1: then you can, yeah, spend money on that thing, but
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be all the time. We don't
Speaker 1: have to gorge ourselves on that thing. And and in
Speaker 1: in some ways that kind align with fruit frugal principles
Speaker 1: as well of yeah, by the things that you enjoy,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't need to be amassed in large quantities.
Speaker 1: Do it occasionally, look forward to doing it. Well. That's
Speaker 1: one of the reason that I love doing no spend challenges.
Speaker 1: When I was paying off debt, I had these habits
Speaker 1: built up and I didn't even realize them, um that
Speaker 1: I would just spend money without thinking, but abstaining from
Speaker 1: it for just a few weeks put things back into
Speaker 1: perspective for me. And so these things, once I could
Speaker 1: do them again, felt like treats. Oh my word, it's
Speaker 1: like what has happened with COVID nineteen and all that
Speaker 1: we have not had access to. Like just getting to
Speaker 1: gather with somebody outside feels like an enormous treat um.
Speaker 1: I know in our area, even like restaurants, outdoor restaurants
Speaker 1: just opened up, and so even being able to eat
Speaker 1: outside and you see that, you see the benefit that
Speaker 1: that can have on your bank account, and then create,
Speaker 1: like I know, for myself, I plan Eric's hearing this
Speaker 1: for the first time to not go out to eat
Speaker 1: as often as I did prior to all of this happening.
Speaker 1: I'm still going to get take out, don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: but going out to eat is quite an expense that
Speaker 1: I need to treat as a treat pun intended, pun
Speaker 1: intended more than just like how I feed myself for sure.
Speaker 1: It's just taking a step back every once in a while,
Speaker 1: um and and just re recalibrating and looking at things
Speaker 1: as they are intended to be. And in the same
Speaker 1: like with turning coffee and bar, you know, things into experiences.
Speaker 1: That also turned it back into a treat for me.
Speaker 1: So I actually sought out people. Do you get the
Speaker 1: introvert in me, you know? So it was a way
Speaker 1: to maintain community because has paying off debt can also
Speaker 1: be kind of isolating, um. So it was a way
Speaker 1: for me to seek out community away for me to
Speaker 1: make these things into treats, so I didn't feel like
Speaker 1: I was depriving myself. So that you know, the pendulum
Speaker 1: swung swung from all the way abstaining to all the
Speaker 1: way indulging. It's still kept it in balance and check
Speaker 1: but saved me money and I was able to feel
Speaker 1: really excited every time I went out. It feels a
Speaker 1: bit gamified to me too, and some yes and setting
Speaker 1: up these boundary wrong with this for yourself? Yeah, I'd
Speaker 1: be curious and feel free to engage with us on
Speaker 1: our focal Friends Facebook community group. Did I say that right?
Speaker 1: Ridical friends community on Facebook? Yeah? Okay? Uh? In in
Speaker 1: some of the ways that you have set up boundary
Speaker 1: lines for yourself in a way that maybe gamifies or
Speaker 1: make something into a treat or yeah, that'd that'd be fun.
Speaker 1: I know that we do these things at different times,
Speaker 1: like the no spend challenge or like what you know,
Speaker 1: the boundary lines that you've set up for yourself to
Speaker 1: drink coffee. I think that can help us in this
Speaker 1: journey to create some fun around what might typically be
Speaker 1: Monday in or routine. Yeah, I think it's a great idea. Um.
Speaker 1: The third is to buy time outsource your dreaded tasks
Speaker 1: in order to have more time to follow your passions. Um.
Speaker 1: So if money is an issue, consider outsourcing things like
Speaker 1: cleaning the house so you can work more and earn
Speaker 1: more money to pay for the house being cleaned. And
Speaker 1: this I think is a huge mindset block for a
Speaker 1: lot of people. I'll say, for me initially paying to
Speaker 1: outsourced dreaded tasks or um, I'll talk about this later,
Speaker 1: but to um, you know, pay for things so that
Speaker 1: I was able to earn more money, UM that I
Speaker 1: felt a lot of guilt about having to do that, UM,
Speaker 1: but reframing it to be about like, no, I'm buying
Speaker 1: time so that I can do more of the things
Speaker 1: I enjoy. I think it's a prioritizing issue too. And
Speaker 1: I noticed this in my own life where I know
Speaker 1: what my priorities are. I say that I know them,
Speaker 1: but then what I'm actually doing with my time is
Speaker 1: not that I get so caught up in the menial
Speaker 1: tasks that keep me from doing what I actually want
Speaker 1: to do. And I think that this is along those
Speaker 1: same lines of saying what do you actually want to
Speaker 1: put your time to, then put your money towards the
Speaker 1: things that you don't want to be doing. And that's
Speaker 1: not to say like, Okay, this is not for everybody
Speaker 1: to hire a house cleaner, Like, I'm sure that there
Speaker 1: could be a millionaire arguments against doing that. However, find
Speaker 1: out what that is. What are you spending your time
Speaker 1: on that is keeping you from doing the things that
Speaker 1: you want to be doing or the things that can
Speaker 1: help make you more money. And it doesn't even have
Speaker 1: to beat time consuming things. But if you'd rather be
Speaker 1: doing a side hustle than be doing your laundry, holy smokes,
Speaker 1: do your side hustle and take your laundry to the drug.
Speaker 1: If your side hustle is more profitable at least, yeah,
Speaker 1: then it's worth it. I also and and so I
Speaker 1: think we talked about this in one of our early
Speaker 1: early episodes in the archives. So I want to dig
Speaker 1: up this concept again because it's something that has really
Speaker 1: stuck with me and have shifted a lot of the
Speaker 1: way that I approach money and think about this specific topic.
Speaker 1: When Eric and I were in Uganda, UM we were
Speaker 1: building homes and setting up solar power and different things
Speaker 1: like that UM for an organization down there, and we
Speaker 1: when engaging with the local people there, we realized that
Speaker 1: so many had people meaning their homes that they paid
Speaker 1: people watching their children that they paid um and they
Speaker 1: themselves or maybe not making in our in my mind,
Speaker 1: like a lot of money. And yet and so I
Speaker 1: was talking with some people about that, and they were like, well,
Speaker 1: this is what we see as the right use of
Speaker 1: our money. That if I can afford to provide some
Speaker 1: sustenance to somebody else, then that is my responsibility to
Speaker 1: do that, versus hoarding it all and saying I can
Speaker 1: do it all. I can watch my kids, I can
Speaker 1: clean the laundry, I can do the dishes, I can
Speaker 1: make the food, I can work, I can show for
Speaker 1: I can be on the p t a Like this
Speaker 1: is a mentality. This is such an individualistic mentality that
Speaker 1: can really be a detriment to our mental health, to
Speaker 1: our happiness. As we're talking about um and and this
Speaker 1: intersects with a lot of other things that we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about on this list of like being generous.
Speaker 1: Not that I think paying somebody for their work is generous,
Speaker 1: but that idea that like is better to give than
Speaker 1: to receive. And so if we are able to afford
Speaker 1: to give others a task, to give others a job
Speaker 1: and pay them for it, like it's it's our responsibility
Speaker 1: at least the way. That's the way. That's something that
Speaker 1: that took from that culture. Uh, and that has really
Speaker 1: shifted the way that I view my money and the
Speaker 1: way that I engage with that because I think we
Speaker 1: feel like frugality means hoarding your money, doing everything to
Speaker 1: scrimp and save and scrounge. But frugality is just about
Speaker 1: widening the gap between what you spend and what you earn. Like,
Speaker 1: that's what frugality is to us, is widening that gap
Speaker 1: so that you have more disposable income to do with
Speaker 1: the things that make you happy. And so like I
Speaker 1: love that concept. Yeah, and and it is happiness if
Speaker 1: you do choose to buy a house cleaner to come
Speaker 1: home and the dishes are done and you didn't do them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds good. Um. The fourth one on this list
Speaker 1: is pay now, consume later. So they're talking about paying
Speaker 1: up front for whatever cost it is. They're primarily talking
Speaker 1: about vacations and delaying the consumption for that. Um. And
Speaker 1: you can buy more happiness even as you spend less
Speaker 1: on those things. UM. Delaying consumption allows us to reap
Speaker 1: the pleasure pleasures of even anticipation. And I love what's
Speaker 1: being talked about here, and this is actually um a
Speaker 1: concept or even like a tool that I was handing
Speaker 1: out to people in the midst of COVID nineteen and
Speaker 1: managing anxiety and figuring out how how do we find
Speaker 1: perk best if maybe we are without work or we've
Speaker 1: experienced extreme disruption or transition in our lives. And one
Speaker 1: of the things that we found as clinicians was really
Speaker 1: helpful and is always really helpful, just kind of pulling
Speaker 1: on and amplifying this is we need something to look
Speaker 1: forward to, all of us. And really we're talking about hope,
Speaker 1: like we need hope. That is true across the board,
Speaker 1: but particularly when things are very uncertain, it is important
Speaker 1: to have things to look forward to, or when things
Speaker 1: are very very difficult, it's important to say, what can
Speaker 1: I set my sights on that helps me to pull
Speaker 1: up out of my immediate circumstances. And that is true
Speaker 1: regardless of whether or not there's a global pandemic happening.
Speaker 1: It is helpful for us to have something that we
Speaker 1: can set our sights on and say, this thing is coming.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say, and neither does this article say that
Speaker 1: the anticipation is better than the thing itself, but it
Speaker 1: is really helpful. You do also have to go and
Speaker 1: do that thing so that you can continue to perpetuate
Speaker 1: the idea that this is going to be fun, and
Speaker 1: that's what provides you the opportunity to look forward to it. Uh.
Speaker 1: But paying for your vacations ahead of time, planning in advance.
Speaker 1: They talk about how they stayed at like six different
Speaker 1: places and all they had to pay was like the
Speaker 1: incidentals yeah yeah, which they ended up getting back on
Speaker 1: their card. So almost like I was thinking about you
Speaker 1: when I was reading this article, like their own version
Speaker 1: of an all inclusive by having UM pre paid all
Speaker 1: of these things. So I think that's another way to
Speaker 1: look at you know, you know, whether that's Christmas shopping
Speaker 1: or vacation planning, or you name it, something that can
Speaker 1: be down the road that you pay for now when
Speaker 1: you have the money that can help. I think the
Speaker 1: main idea is to shift from UM consume now paid later,
Speaker 1: which is how credit cards typically work UM, to something
Speaker 1: that is save, save, save, pay consume UM, So trying
Speaker 1: to shift the order in which you do things UM.
Speaker 1: The fifth one is invest in others. So research has
Speaker 1: shown that spending money on others provides a bigger happiness
Speaker 1: boost than spending money on yourself. And they did this
Speaker 1: experiment in the book Um between the researchers, they gave
Speaker 1: money to a bunch of people, and the half that
Speaker 1: spent it on other people reported feeling better overall. Um.
Speaker 1: So investing in others is such a big way that
Speaker 1: we can use our money, Uh, for us. I have
Speaker 1: always said giving is more for us than it is
Speaker 1: for the people we are giving to. And I will
Speaker 1: stand by that giving is more for the giver. And
Speaker 1: so you don't need to be an angel like you
Speaker 1: don't need to be Oh yeah, there's always ulterior mortgigs
Speaker 1: behind doing big things makes us feel good, but okay
Speaker 1: makes other people feel good. Embrace it and do more
Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, don't feel like you have to feel
Speaker 1: like a I don't know those angel investors or those
Speaker 1: people that give that are really good people. I'm a
Speaker 1: horrible person, so I don't even know what they're called.
Speaker 1: Don't even let them fool you. They're doing it because
Speaker 1: it makes them feel good. Yeah, just do more of
Speaker 1: what makes you feel good. And we know, right, we
Speaker 1: know now that that is investing in others. Research has
Speaker 1: shown that's what it is well said, and we'll get
Speaker 1: more into that even in this next article, which provides
Speaker 1: us with four tips for happy spending, and it comes
Speaker 1: from ink dot com, So we'll go through all four. Yes,
Speaker 1: and again it's it's a repeat of the first article,
Speaker 1: but I think it's worth repeating because I think that
Speaker 1: there's something behind this. And so number one says, spend
Speaker 1: spend your money on extra time, hiring a housekeeper of
Speaker 1: virtual assistance, blurge for a grocery delivery. So they reference
Speaker 1: so this is actually the science behind how spending can
Speaker 1: bring about some happiness. We don't want to just throw
Speaker 1: this concept of money doesn't buy happiness out the window
Speaker 1: when there could be some actual science behind saying, well,
Speaker 1: it can bring about some joy if we do it well.
Speaker 1: And so it referenced the study of Americans showing pretty
Speaker 1: definitely that people who value time over money me are
Speaker 1: happier than those who don't. And so they're arguing, all right,
Speaker 1: then spend your money. I'm creating more time for yourself.
Speaker 1: Chances are yeah, you'll feel good about that. You won't
Speaker 1: regret that. I will say I don't always do grocery
Speaker 1: deliveries or I don't always do the all the you know,
Speaker 1: the meal prep services, but when I do, oh my word,
Speaker 1: it's so much freedom, especially if I've budgeted for it.
Speaker 1: So please hear us that we are not talking about
Speaker 1: spending outside of your means to do these things. These
Speaker 1: are absolutely budgeted for things. But when we've done that
Speaker 1: and we see that we have maybe a little bit
Speaker 1: of discretionary income, what we might be spending on like
Speaker 1: stupid trips to target, could actually be going towards these
Speaker 1: more intentional areas. That is, that's the goal with this
Speaker 1: is to put it in your budget. Don't let mindless
Speaker 1: spending dictate how you spend your money, Essentially, like, don't
Speaker 1: wake up and wonder where your money went. Make a budget,
Speaker 1: but be intentional with putting things that have been proven
Speaker 1: to increase happiness putting those things in your budget. Um.
Speaker 1: The second one is to spend your money on great experiences. Um. So,
Speaker 1: like I was saying before, just because physical things last
Speaker 1: longer doesn't mean they bring happiness for a longer period
Speaker 1: of time. So when you're creating your budget prior to
Speaker 1: prioritize at least one experience each month, I think that's
Speaker 1: not too much to you know, to spend on like
Speaker 1: one experience to look forward to every month and then
Speaker 1: really fun to do and you can oh my gosh
Speaker 1: group on living social yelp. There's so many ways to
Speaker 1: get experiences inexpensively, um, but budget in great experiences. And
Speaker 1: when you do that number three, spend it with and
Speaker 1: on someone that you care about. So psychologists believe and
Speaker 1: this is referenced in the article that one reason experiences
Speaker 1: seem to make us happier than things is that we
Speaker 1: often share them with a friend or a partner or
Speaker 1: a family member. And so while doing free things with
Speaker 1: people you love is great, you should also budget for
Speaker 1: the cost of that. Um. But not just experiences, but
Speaker 1: with other people can bring about connection with others. And
Speaker 1: I will say, and this is another UM therapeutic tidbit.
Speaker 1: Play is so important and there's tons of studies on play.
Speaker 1: We've talked about it and books written about play. Just
Speaker 1: the amazing hormones that it releases, and especially when we
Speaker 1: play side by side with other people, it bonds us
Speaker 1: to one another. There um it helps us to have
Speaker 1: a more positive outlook on life. It increases our feelings
Speaker 1: of happiness and joy and I could go on and on,
Speaker 1: but play is so important, and I think that that
Speaker 1: is also one of the things that happens with experiences.
Speaker 1: Usually when we're spending money on experiences, they're fun, they
Speaker 1: are our version of play. And when we invite other
Speaker 1: people into that, and when we're willing to spend on that,
Speaker 1: we don't always have to pay for another person, but
Speaker 1: invite them in and if possible, if you've budgeted for it, Yeah,
Speaker 1: pay for your friend to join you, and that will
Speaker 1: increase bonding and connection, which again increases our levels of
Speaker 1: our experience of happiness and joy and life giving things.
Speaker 1: So all of this, yeah, it is rooted in some
Speaker 1: some studies, some science, some psychology that these are some
Speaker 1: ways that we can intentionally spend money. And circle act
Speaker 1: number one. If you are not finding that you have
Speaker 1: enough time to play or time to spend with people
Speaker 1: you care about or have experiences at least once a month,
Speaker 1: it maybe time to pay somebody to free up some
Speaker 1: of your time. That maybe time to really examine your budget,
Speaker 1: your work schedule, how much your side husling. Maybe you
Speaker 1: need to slow down your debt payoff um or your
Speaker 1: savings rate. It may be time to just meditate on
Speaker 1: it so that because you do not get this time back,
Speaker 1: Like it's fun to say, I paid off, you know,
Speaker 1: seventy eight thous dollars of debt in less than two years,
Speaker 1: but I don't get those two years back. So and
Speaker 1: there are things that I I wish that I had done.
Speaker 1: I for the most part, I'm super happy, um, you
Speaker 1: know with how I balanced my debt payoff, but I
Speaker 1: still have some regrets. And so you don't get that
Speaker 1: time back, you have to be okay with however you
Speaker 1: lived it. It's reminding me of this concept that you
Speaker 1: presented gen and episodes back about being your own CEO,
Speaker 1: like the CEO of your finances, and kind of thinking
Speaker 1: if a business were run that way, it would be
Speaker 1: super ineffective and inefficient if like the CEO couldn't actually
Speaker 1: get the things done that they needed to get done
Speaker 1: to move their business forward. Like once businesses reach a
Speaker 1: point where they need to hire new people, they need
Speaker 1: to recognize that like, all right, we've reached a point
Speaker 1: of capacity where now we need to hire out some
Speaker 1: of the things that we do, or we need to
Speaker 1: bring on another employee. And that's similar concept. If I'm
Speaker 1: realizing I don't have the time to do everything, then
Speaker 1: maybe it's an indicator that I've reached my capacity and
Speaker 1: my limitation and I need to bring someone else in
Speaker 1: to help. I just recently in my business, brought on
Speaker 1: a virtual assistant because I realized as that my time
Speaker 1: was more valuable working on higher level projects than you know,
Speaker 1: the menial day. Today, we just outsourced the editing of
Speaker 1: our podcast. We did. It's so so these are things
Speaker 1: that you hear about inside hustles and businesses. Um, but
Speaker 1: they are the same concepts that you should be applying
Speaker 1: to your own life to make it as effective as possible. Yea,
Speaker 1: So those are the ways. Those are our tips for
Speaker 1: happy spending. Those are the ways we believe that you
Speaker 1: can spend happiest. And I mean, if it's nothing that
Speaker 1: makes me more happy, there's literally nothing that makes me
Speaker 1: more happy every week, then the villa weed. That's right,
Speaker 1: it's time for the best minute your entire week. Maybe
Speaker 1: a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe
Speaker 1: you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and
Speaker 1: you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore.
Speaker 1: That's bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill
Speaker 1: of the week. Hijn and Jill, It's Olivia calling from Denver, Colorado.
Speaker 1: My bill of the week gives a little bit of
Speaker 1: a stretch, but just bear with me. My favorite bill
Speaker 1: is actually the two dollar bills that I use when
Speaker 1: feeling at my gooter with gas. I recently purchased a
Speaker 1: Harnda Metropolitan and because the scooter gets about a hundred
Speaker 1: miles to the gallon, it only required um one gallon
Speaker 1: of gas. That's at a time. It can only hold
Speaker 1: one gallon of gas. So therefore, because of the price
Speaker 1: of gas right now, um, it only costs me about
Speaker 1: one or two dollar bills every time they need to
Speaker 1: build the tank. So there you have it. That's my
Speaker 1: favorite bill of the week. Have a great day and
Speaker 1: thanks so much for what you to do. Olivia. Olivia,
Speaker 1: this should be illegal to call in making a so
Speaker 1: jealous on so many levels. First of all, you live
Speaker 1: in Denver, Colorado. That's beautiful. Second, of all, two dollar bills.
Speaker 1: You've got your hands on some two dollar bills. Those
Speaker 1: are amazing and I don't think we've ever had that.
Speaker 1: A Third, you have a scooter, which is super fun
Speaker 1: and cool. Fourth, you only need to spend two dollars
Speaker 1: to fill up your one tank of gas to get
Speaker 1: you all over town. Fifth, your name's Olivia. That's awesome.
Speaker 1: Six How many can I get up to? I don't
Speaker 1: know where you're going. What was the name of that scooter?
Speaker 1: I'm looking at a metropolitan metropolitan. I need to see
Speaker 1: it for myself. This was amazing. It didn't even require
Speaker 1: any bearing with you. That was Oh, I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at driving off into happy freedom. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: freedom from gas bills. If you have any adorable things
Speaker 1: that you want to call in about that have to
Speaker 1: do with a bill or maybe require a bill or something, um,
Speaker 1: please uh Man Frugal Friends podcast dot com slash bill
Speaker 1: and we want to hear about them, and we will
Speaker 1: celebrate with you. It's what we are best, apparently best
Speaker 1: celebrating people. It's amazing. No, it's time for lightning. You
Speaker 1: have to My child is sleeping. I just remembered that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So we are going to share one change, um, that
Speaker 1: we've each made to spend happier, and one change we
Speaker 1: need to make. So this is one thing we've done
Speaker 1: and then one thing that we need to get better at.
Speaker 1: So um, first, one that I did. UM, and this
Speaker 1: was a big This was a big mind cluster cuss
Speaker 1: for me. UM. So is daycare. I had visions of
Speaker 1: my life of being a stay at home mom, um,
Speaker 1: work from home mom. I wanted to do it all,
Speaker 1: and then very quickly after the birth of my son, realized, like,
Speaker 1: that's not me. That's not my life, that's not my happiness.
Speaker 1: It's what I thought. Uh wasn't right, but that's just
Speaker 1: not me. So I thought it. But um, when he
Speaker 1: was four months old, UM, I put him into a
Speaker 1: private in home daycare, and part of me was sad
Speaker 1: that I felt like it was a failure UM because
Speaker 1: I couldn't mom hard enough. UM. But I realized I
Speaker 1: can make more money having by paying to put him
Speaker 1: in daycare. So I have been able to really grow
Speaker 1: my own business only because I have him in daycare
Speaker 1: four days a week. And to highlight to what you're
Speaker 1: describing for yourself as what you know is helpful to
Speaker 1: experience the different expressions of yourself, what what is helpful
Speaker 1: for your mental health, for your professional growth, for you
Speaker 1: being the best mom that you can be, Like, it's
Speaker 1: not at least what I'm hearing you say is it
Speaker 1: not just about the money aspect, but also the ways
Speaker 1: that that impacts you holistically. And I think, I mean,
Speaker 1: this is such an important thing what you're describing, because
Speaker 1: there's also the barriers of mom guilt, which is so
Speaker 1: real hotly smart um, and the different life choices that
Speaker 1: all moms make. And it does not mean that you
Speaker 1: love kai any lass because you're not a stay at
Speaker 1: home mom like holy smokes, mom of the year. Actually
Speaker 1: I'm nominating you. This is this means a lot because
Speaker 1: you saw me almost drop him on his head yesterday. No,
Speaker 1: but the thing that I wanted to focus on was
Speaker 1: the fact that you had an amazing feat of strength
Speaker 1: and like, uh, fastness, what's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 1: Thank you in catching him like he did not fall.
Speaker 1: It was amazing. It wasn't credible to watch anyhow, not
Speaker 1: to mention that I it was my fault, but also
Speaker 1: you you have chosen what has worked best for you,
Speaker 1: which is part time. Like guy's not in daycare, Liken, No, no,
Speaker 1: child doesn't take care Tony wur seven, but he's yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's a part time thing for you. And I
Speaker 1: think that I I always am super encouraged to see
Speaker 1: people operating in their specific expressions of where their giftings
Speaker 1: lie and to be the best that they can be
Speaker 1: on all levels. And you've found that for yourself, and
Speaker 1: and I think it helps to give other people the
Speaker 1: freedom and permission to do that and not shame one
Speaker 1: another for what is chosen. Thank you, Yeah, you're welcome. Um.
Speaker 1: So for me, something that I have shifted and has
Speaker 1: my good us brought me so much happiness is giving
Speaker 1: gifts to other people. Um. This is something that we
Speaker 1: do budget for, and I will say it's something I've
Speaker 1: always desired to do, but finances for a long time
Speaker 1: we're not there. Like I was so desirous of even
Speaker 1: just small things like knowing it someone's birthday. It's probably
Speaker 1: my love language, I suppose, like wanting to give people
Speaker 1: things because I know it makes me feel good. Like
Speaker 1: I'm not Mother Theresa here. Um, that's who I was
Speaker 1: trying to think out. Oh thank you, But honestly this
Speaker 1: is an unpopular opinion probably, but Mother Theresa felt good
Speaker 1: for doing the things that she did. You know she
Speaker 1: did so yeah anyhow, uh, and just refusing to feel
Speaker 1: guilty about it. And because this does satisfy something for me,
Speaker 1: like I am able to go shopping, pick up like
Speaker 1: all the cute things that I see at the store,
Speaker 1: but then give them to somebody else. So like I
Speaker 1: get to shop, I get to buy cute things, and
Speaker 1: then I give it to somebody else and it's just
Speaker 1: like win win win across the board. Um. And I
Speaker 1: I just I refused to feel that like shopping guilt
Speaker 1: for that because of the value that it places on
Speaker 1: other people and the fact that I have the money
Speaker 1: to do that, I have allotted for it. So, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, here's something. You should go to Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcast dot com slash raise and get a gift card
Speaker 1: for somebody. Yeah, that's a great I mean you get
Speaker 1: free a five three dollars by using our referral code
Speaker 1: and then give that to somebody. Oh my word, give
Speaker 1: it forward. Everybody in the Frugal Friends could do it.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. We'll put forth and back and forth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll post the link in there. That's set. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: that done. It's done. Is done to your next what
Speaker 1: she needs to my next thing. One chain that I
Speaker 1: want to make is to increase my giving. Um, I
Speaker 1: want to give more to more organizations doing work that
Speaker 1: I think is necessary. But more so I want to
Speaker 1: give to more people in my community. Uh, Like we
Speaker 1: need to feel connected right now. And I may not
Speaker 1: have a big income compared to some people, but it's
Speaker 1: big compared to others. And so I want to use
Speaker 1: what I've been blessed with to encourage others. And I
Speaker 1: had a I just made a YouTube video recently about
Speaker 1: like ways that you can give without having a lot
Speaker 1: of money and like to vote with your dollar. And
Speaker 1: one of the things that I remember really significantly when
Speaker 1: I was a broke college student is that I would, Um,
Speaker 1: I went to go get gas several times at this
Speaker 1: gas station and there would be just twenty dollars on
Speaker 1: the pump, just prepaid, and so like as a broke
Speaker 1: college student, that made such a big impact having twenty
Speaker 1: in my tank. Um, And so like it's stuff like that,
Speaker 1: Like I want to do that for people, um, and
Speaker 1: I have, I've done it before, but like I want
Speaker 1: to be more intentional and not wondering, not stressing so
Speaker 1: much of like whether I give money to the person
Speaker 1: on the side of the road, Like what are they
Speaker 1: going to do with it? Are they going to use
Speaker 1: it efficiently? And effectively like who the heck cares I've
Speaker 1: I've stopped caring about that. That that cannot be Like
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you money, and it's not like
Speaker 1: it's not up to me with what you're going to
Speaker 1: do with that, Like I don't have to, but like
Speaker 1: if I want to, I'm going to and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to second guess myself. Yeah. Absolutely, Also, uh so
Speaker 1: for me, you have a more altruistic goal and money
Speaker 1: you already have, You're already doing the altruistic for you. Whatever, No,
Speaker 1: you're you're better your Okay. I want this is more
Speaker 1: like a perspective shift more than it is something that's
Speaker 1: like actually, like this is already happening. I just want
Speaker 1: to change my perspective on it. So like ordering out
Speaker 1: and allowing myself to have a higher food budget guilt free,
Speaker 1: so I can feel so much comparison when I see
Speaker 1: people in the personal finance space talking about, hello, is
Speaker 1: your grocery budget? What's everybody's food budget? I mean, it
Speaker 1: is one of our biggest areas of spending and where
Speaker 1: we want terrain and spending. So it's such a hot
Speaker 1: topic and people are talking about it all the time
Speaker 1: of oh, for for a couple, I spend fifty dollars
Speaker 1: a month, and I'm just like, oh my word, I'm
Speaker 1: nowhere near that. I am so beyond that amount of money.
Speaker 1: But yet I recognize where my life season is and
Speaker 1: how first of all, just like stressed and annoyed and frustrated,
Speaker 1: I get at why we have to eat three meals
Speaker 1: a day. I mean, I've cut it down to two
Speaker 1: and some days down to one, but like, why you're
Speaker 1: so thin? That's sickening. It's just I'm so tired of
Speaker 1: thinking about food. And then every time I do think
Speaker 1: about food, then I just take it even further where
Speaker 1: I think I have to do this for the rest
Speaker 1: of my life, Like I'm already done with it in
Speaker 1: my thirties and I potentially have forty more years of
Speaker 1: needing to think about food every single days. Like that,
Speaker 1: That's where it's at for me. Not bad it is.
Speaker 1: I like food, don't get me wrong, but to think
Speaker 1: about I've got to go grocery shopping. I've got a
Speaker 1: meal plant, I've got to prep it, I've got to
Speaker 1: cook it, I got to clean up after it. I
Speaker 1: gotta then think about what are we doing the next day,
Speaker 1: it's just like, oh my goodness, I can't on top
Speaker 1: of everything else that I'm doing. So anyhow, what I'm
Speaker 1: saying is wanting to give myself the permission that, hey,
Speaker 1: my food budget is a lot higher, but I have
Speaker 1: budgeted for it, and and my food budget, to be fair,
Speaker 1: includes everything. It includes all my beverages, my eating out,
Speaker 1: my dining in, my groceries, it's everything. But yes, it
Speaker 1: is higher than fifty a month, higher than for yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think I just need the permits I need
Speaker 1: to just experience the permission of this is what I've
Speaker 1: budgeted for, I have the money to do it. This
Speaker 1: is where my values are. This is what helps free
Speaker 1: up time for me to do the things that I
Speaker 1: want to do. This is how I'm going to feed myself,
Speaker 1: at least for the season. I mean, it's much better
Speaker 1: than saying than you know, meal planning out seven dinners
Speaker 1: for the week, but always failing, you know, twice a week,
Speaker 1: and then you feel the guilt and instead just budget
Speaker 1: it in and let go of the guilt, give yourself great.
Speaker 1: The cycle I get into is I'll go and I'll
Speaker 1: get a ton of stuff from the grocery store and
Speaker 1: then halfway through the week, I don't have the capacity
Speaker 1: for it. So then I'm also ordering out, and then
Speaker 1: it's just like, well, this is ridiculous because now I
Speaker 1: have gone grocery shopping and I'm eating out, and that's
Speaker 1: where it's not okay, and it goes beyond. So and
Speaker 1: if this is somewhere that you're trying to rain in,
Speaker 1: So if you're more like me, and you're just like
Speaker 1: I love to think about my next meal after my
Speaker 1: last meal, then then try and get creative, like with
Speaker 1: your budgets. So give yourself grace, go slowly. Um, but
Speaker 1: then maybe maybe next month you keep the same food budget,
Speaker 1: but you think about how you can work more creatively
Speaker 1: with it. So try to eat out. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: increase you're eating out without increasing your spending. So gamify it.
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with gamifying how you do frugality. And
Speaker 1: I'm so goodness when I say that. What I'm doing
Speaker 1: is I'm picking up Chick fil a chicken fingers and
Speaker 1: I'm putting it on lettuce that I did buy from
Speaker 1: the grocery store. But that to be guilt free about
Speaker 1: it versus in my mind where all goes I should
Speaker 1: have made that chicken myself. I should have gone to
Speaker 1: the meat market where I can get discounted chicken. And
Speaker 1: I should have done all And I not right now,
Speaker 1: maybe eventually, but and and it serves with seasons because chicken,
Speaker 1: my chicken is good like it's delicious. I learned that
Speaker 1: that one of their secrets is marinating their chicken and
Speaker 1: pickled juice, dill pickled juice. It's true. So if you
Speaker 1: need one more thing on your plate, um, marinate your chicken,
Speaker 1: don't pickle juice. If if that's what brings you joy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for listening. Guys, we hope that this
Speaker 1: episode inspired you to have a little more grace with
Speaker 1: yourself and to use your money to spend more money,
Speaker 1: spend it more wisely. Uh So, we talk a lout
Speaker 1: about spending less and saving money, but uh there there's
Speaker 1: a time for everything. Um and we just have to
Speaker 1: have wisdom to be as balanced as possible, and that
Speaker 1: is the ultimate goal. Um so. And then also thank
Speaker 1: you for reviewing the show leaving helpful reviews. Um I
Speaker 1: especially liked this one from t This is one of
Speaker 1: the best reviews that I have ever If you can
Speaker 1: top this review, I will read your review. It's passes
Speaker 1: the Beck dol Phi drinking game test, which I do
Speaker 1: not know if that was a real I think they did.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with that. You can make up your own
Speaker 1: things for these um So the review is not only
Speaker 1: are these wonderful ladies so fun and down to earth
Speaker 1: as they explore all matters of finance for everyday people,
Speaker 1: but they also pass what I call the Beck dol
Speaker 1: Phi drinking game tests and f I s financial independence.
Speaker 1: So if you're wondering, this particular test requires you to
Speaker 1: listen to a financial podcast and every time a host
Speaker 1: or guest says the word savvy, you have to take
Speaker 1: a drink. If you can listen for longer than five
Speaker 1: minutes without succumbing to alcohol poisoning, then that podcast passes
Speaker 1: the Bechtel five drinking game test. Really, I I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with whoever you are. Really, though, it's refreshing to hear
Speaker 1: straight talk from folks that speak to the listener like
Speaker 1: you are a friend. And I'm super glad that you
Speaker 1: think that you're our friend, because you are, and we
Speaker 1: are speaking to a group of talk down to earth talk.
Speaker 1: I don't know how else to talk to you. But also, yeah,
Speaker 1: savvy is never a word that I use. No often,
Speaker 1: I will say sometimes when I post on Instagram, I
Speaker 1: will hashtag savvy, but that's also because I don't know
Speaker 1: how to use Instagram. I'm sorry, I'm not as true Nail.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so real, yeah real, how bad
Speaker 1: you are Instagram? I guess I don't. So here's here's
Speaker 1: another admission. I don't listen to a lot of podcasts,
Speaker 1: but I have one, and so I didn't realize how
Speaker 1: popular the word savvy is among female liked saying it.
Speaker 1: You're going to get someone out there drunk, and that's
Speaker 1: on you. Two shots is you're You're going to be fine.
Speaker 1: We also want to thank our friends who share these
Speaker 1: episodes on social media. So when you share the latest
Speaker 1: episode and tag us on Facebook or Instagram, we will
Speaker 1: add you to our monthly drawing. And so for every tag,
Speaker 1: every five tags or reviews that we get each month,
Speaker 1: we give away a ten dollar Amazon gift cards. Those
Speaker 1: odds are really good, like one in five, so that
Speaker 1: means if we get ten, we're giving away too a
Speaker 1: gift card. And you guys, like, not a lot of
Speaker 1: people do this. It's amazing that we're talking about this first.
Speaker 1: So we have a good amount of reviews, but each month,
Speaker 1: like yeah, not a lot of people send them. Um.
Speaker 1: And then it's email. You have to send us a
Speaker 1: screenshot of your review or tag us at Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcasts on Insta or Facebook so that we get the
Speaker 1: tag um and and you would be surprised how few
Speaker 1: people do this. But you could get ten dollars for
Speaker 1: doing this every single month. So you know, yeah, give it,
Speaker 1: give it a try, give it a try. And so
Speaker 1: with your ten dollar Amazon gift card, maybe you buy
Speaker 1: Happy Money the book. Maybe you don't, you buy what
Speaker 1: you want. Maybe you buy ten to your your Raise
Speaker 1: gift cards and then you just like you keep building
Speaker 1: it on top of itself. I don't know. Yeah right, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you have to use your own money on Raise
Speaker 1: to use an Amazon gif curR. Well you'll figure it out.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening, don't forget to tag us on social
Speaker 1: and email us your screen. Shops by Frugal Friends is produced,
Speaker 1: edited and mixed by Eric Seria. Um. I had to
Speaker 1: look up what the Beck Dol test was because I'm
Speaker 1: a horrible feminist. Um, do you you know you don't
Speaker 1: know what the back Doel tests, How bad am I?
Speaker 1: You're right up the same as me. So the back
Speaker 1: Dol test is in a movie. Um, if a movie
Speaker 1: has a scene where two women are in a room
Speaker 1: having a conversation and that conversation is not about a man,
Speaker 1: that passes the back Doel test, Okay, I have heard this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And you can literally have twenty seconds, a twenty second
Speaker 1: scene with like five seconds of dialogue, and your movie
Speaker 1: can pass the Bechdel test um like any scene, even
Speaker 1: if other scenes have two women in them not talking
Speaker 1: about No, you're the movie in its entirety only has
Speaker 1: to one scene with two women in a room without
Speaker 1: any men and they're not talking about any So it's
Speaker 1: it's very easy. Wow, Yeah, it seems easy. But I'm
Speaker 1: sure i'd be shocked at how few movies pass the
Speaker 1: time you might. Yeah, there's still movies that still don't pass,
Speaker 1: that come out and still don't pass the Becktel test.
Speaker 1: So and then there are movies like like all the
Speaker 1: New Star Wars movies, those all pass the Bechtel test,
Speaker 1: But you don't think of them. I mean, I guess
Speaker 1: now now you do. With that's strong because they're talking
Speaker 1: about like monsters instead, yeah, I guess, or just like
Speaker 1: life robots and stuff is what two females would be
Speaker 1: talking about. Just because they're like not gendered, then it counts,
Speaker 1: like what do females talk about if not men? Savvy
Speaker 1: savvy savvy things. See Yeah,